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Men, Women, and Money – 11 Different Ways of Seeing Money

Do wives view money in terms of relationships, and do husbands use money to keep score? Yes, according to these differences in the way husbands and wives handle money! Knowing how men and women approach personal finance can strengthen your marriage — especially if you often fight about money…

Here’s what Lois Frankel says about money and women in Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich: 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make with Money.

“What gets women in trouble when it comes to getting and keeping the job they want or accumulating the portfolio they need to live financially independent lives is the tendency to act like the “nice girls” they were taught to be in childhood, as opposed to acting like intelligent, capable, deserving adult women.


Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich is  a fantastic resource for wives who want to learn more about budgets, bills, and brokers in their marriage. So is What Every Woman Should Know About Her Husband’s Money. And, here are Lois Frankel’s 11 differences in the way men and women handle money…

In childhood, girls receive significantly different messages about money than boys do. This affects a woman’s relationship with and ability to manage money — and also affects whether she’ll achieve her financial goals, whether she’s single or married (or needs to learn to manage money because she’s getting divorced).

What Girls Hear About Money:

  • “It’s better to do good than be rich.”
  • “Girls just aren’t good at math.”
  • “Men know more about money than you do.”
  • “It’s just as easy to marry rich as it is to marry poor.”
  • “Money doesn’t buy you happiness.”

Financial expert Suze Orman totally disagrees with that last statement! She says money may not buy happiness in the traditional sense, but it does give you the freedom and security to take better care of yourself, take risks, and not worry about paying the bills. If that isn’t a component of happiness, I don’t know what is.

“Women need to develop a healthy, honest relationship with our money,” Orman also says. “And we have to see this relationship as a reflection of our relationship with ourselves.”

One way to develop a healthy, honest relationship with money is to learn the differences between the ways in which men and women see personal finance…

11 Differences in the Way Husbands and Wives Handle Money

  1. Wives are socialized to save money “just in case” something happens; husbands are encouraged to learn how to invest and make money grow.
  2.  Wives use money to take care of others; husbands use money to keep score.
  3.  Wives tend to buy what they want; husbands buy what they need.
  4.  Wives use money to create a lifestyle right now; husbands use money to prepare for the future.
  5.  Wives are cautious about investing money; husbands take investment risks.
  6.  Wives spend money on relationships and people they care about; husbands spend money on themselves.
  7.  Wives ask for what they think they deserve; husbands ask for what they want.
  8.  Wives view money in terms of relationships; husbands view money objectively.
  9.  Wives expect others to know more than they do; husbands learn how to be savvy investors.
  10.  Wives gravitate towards the helping professions (such as teaching, which doesn’t pay very well); husbands tend to seek high-paying jobs.
  11.  Wives want to be fair during financial hardship; husbands advocate for themselves when they have financial problems.

 The more both men and women understand their relationship with money — and the roots of that relationship — the better they’ll be at saving money, balancing budgets, and reaching financial goals as a couple. Which, of course, will help them build a better marriage.


What do you think of these differences in the way husbands and wives handle money? I welcome your comments below…

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2 thoughts on “Men, Women, and Money – 11 Different Ways of Seeing Money”

  1. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    Phil, thanks for your thoughts on women, money and love. Financial equality in relationships can only be achieved if women (or the submissive partners)stand up for themselves!

  2. I could write a book on these topics. If I had more time I would. Commenting on these issues is tantamount to bothering with whether your bathers suit you as you drown. I will focus my life on the creation of my group to ensure financial equity in relationships so that any party to a relationship can exit it with the same relative ‘equity’ they should have based upon relative ‘value added’. Knowledge of an ongoing ‘equity’ will give freedom to all parties to exit where they are not financially disadvantaged. Then the issues can only be emotional ones. I hope all men and women can eventually enter, stay in and leave for ‘feelings’ reasons. As for the concept of ‘cheating’. There is enough material in the insecurity of the one who feels cheated to fill a library. If you ever feel ‘cheated’ then you have been insecure. Get over the insecurity and one can never feel ‘cheated’. It explains people’s need for religion too – how sad. Knowledge of who you are is strength. Best Regards….

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