We all have relationship problems at some point. How we deal with the problem can make or break our relationship, for better or worse, for richer or poorer. Here’s a quick summary of five different ways to deal with different types of relationship problems….for better or worse.
How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together: Breakthrough Strategies to Resolve Your Conflicts and Reignite Your Love by Susan Page is a good resource for dealing with relationship problems without having “the talk.” If you and your partner have been talking about your problems for years – or he doesn’t want to talk about them – you might want to read this book!
A reader inspired me to write this article. On How to Get Over an Addictive Relationship, she said, “I am currently in a very addictive relationship and the most toxic one in my life. I am with a man that has abused me physically, mentally and emotionally…and I am always begging him to stay with me. I found out over a month into the relationship that he is married back in his home country but by then I was already addicted to him that I didn’t end things at that moment and after that is when the physical abuse started…I am currently in counseling trying to get out of this relationship but it’s going to be a year this Friday and I am having such a hard time letting go.”
What are her options? Let’s find out…
Dealing With Relationship Problems – 5 Options
Stay, and keep suffering. I think this is how many of us deal with relationship problems. We stay in relationships because we’re scared of the unknown. There are practical considerations (money, kids, mortgage, jobs) and emotional issues (enmeshment, “addiction”, insecurities, fears). So we stay in relationships that are full of problems – and we let our lives run away without us. Sometimes this is our only option…but not very often.
Stay, and blame your partner. It’s his fault, isn’t it? He’s the liar, cheater, abuser. He’s the one who is causing all or most of the relationship problems. He won’t go to counseling, and he doesn’t want to change. There’s nothing you can do to save your marriage or solve your relationship problems. So, you deal with it by pointing the finger at him. You let him have all the power, and you default to the “I’m powerless to change anything” position. This way to deal with relationship problems is more common than you think.
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Stay, and pray things change. I’m a huge fan of prayer! In fact, I’ll probably say a prayer for you and your relationship problems at the end of this article. But, I am not a fan of sitting still and praying for things to change. I believe God wants us to act as if everything depends on us, and pray as if everything depends on Him. I believe God needs us to take action, and He’ll guide us one step at a time. Praying through your relationship problems can help you cope – but there comes a time when you need to take action.
Read How to Solve Relationship Problems Without Breaking Up if you want to stay with your partner.
Leave, and keep suffering. Sometimes we deal with relationship problems by breaking up physically and socially…but not emotionally. We stay connected via Facebook, Twitter, email – anyway we can. Our way to “deal with relationship problems” is to straddle both sides of the fence. We indulge our appetite for our relationship – even the unhealthiest parts – while obsessing about how many relationship problems we have. We might as well stay in the unhealthy relationship if we leave and keep dealing with the same old relationship problems.
Leave, even though you’ll be heartbroken. If your relationship problems include lying, cheating, stealing, and betrayal, then one option is to leave. Yes, your heart will break. Yes, you’ll grieve the loss of your relationship. Your dream of a future together is shattered, yes. But you will heal, my friend. You will become stronger and healthier if you know when to leave a relationship. I believe this is the best way to deal with relationship problems – depending, of course, on what type of problems you’re dealing with.
My prayer for everyone dealing with relationship problems is that you receive clear guidance about which road to take! May you know whether you should stay and stick it out, or go and grieve your broken heart. May you connect with God, your Source of energy, strength, love, and spirit.
Your thoughts are welcome below! I don't give advice, but you can get free relationship help from marriage coach Mort Fertel.
I welcome your comments on dealing with relationship problems below. I can’t offer advice on your relationship or marriage, but writing might help you work through your emotions and experiences.