Your husband walked out, and you’re picking up the pieces of your life. These insights will help you cope with confusion and hurt after your husband leaves – they’re from women dealing with the pain that comes with being abandoned.
In Runaway Husbands: The Abandoned Wife’s Guide to Recovery and Renewal, Vikki Stark describes “Wife Abandonment Syndrome” and offers practical tools for rebuilding shattered lives. Wife Abandonment Syndrome is a pattern of behavior on the part of a husband who leaves his wife out-of-the-blue from what she believed was a happy marriage. After a husband walks out suddenly, he often replaces the caring he used to show with anger and aggression. This is an excellent book for women whose husbands decided they don’t want to be married anymore.
In this article, I share a few insights from women who are coping with the pain of being suddenly abandoned by their husbands. I don’t have all the answers – or a magic wand that will make everything better – but it might help to see you’re not alone. My prayer is that something on this page will help you feel better and feel better about moving on after your husband walks out.
Coping With Confusion and Hurt
Most of my articles about healing from a breakup or divorce focus on practical tips for moving forward. This time, however, I want women to see that they’re not going through the pain of abandonment alone.
A wife whose husband left without saying good-bye
“My husband left last Friday,” says A. “No word or anything. Just vanished. I was worried sick, and called friends and family. No one had heard anything. Finally, he called his family on Monday night to let them know he was okay. Did he ever call me? No. he still hasn’t called me and it’s been a week.”
She says that their marriage was more or less over, but he didn’t tell her he was leaving! He just walked out, leaving her to cope with more confusion and hurt than if he’d had to courage to sit down and say good-bye. He didn’t have the guts to end their marriage properly.
If your husband abandoned you without saying good-bye, you’re not alone. Read What Is Relationship Closure? Healing Without Saying Goodbye.
A wife whose husband walked out on marriage for a coworker
“My husband of only 3½ years left me for a co-worker,” says K. “He was her mentor at work. They texted for months and I asked him to stop. Recently I found a prepaid phone and all her text messages. He said he loves her, wants to be with her and wants a divorce. I’m 42 years old….I just had a miscarriage of twins a week before he began sleeping with this woman. I feel so lost.”
Need marriage help? Get FREE relationship advice from Marriage Coach Mort Fertel.
If your husband walked out on your marriage to move in with his mistress, you’re not alone. Read How to Cope When Your Husband Leaves You for Another Woman.
A wife whose husband abandoned his wife and children
“I am heartbroken that he is choosing her over me and the kids,” says B. “My heart is literally broken, as of right now we haven’t split yet, this all happened yesterday. How do I stop all this hurt and confusion, all the tears? I just can’t believe he doesn’t love our family like I do.”
If you’re coping with confusion and hurt because your husband walked out on your marriage and your kids, you’re not alone. You might find How to Let Go of Someone You Love helpful.
A wife who can’t detach from her ex-husband
“I’m having a very hard time detaching from my ex,” says C. “He has cheated on me through 17 years of marriage. I developed non-hodgkins lymphomia last year and he started talking to women on the internet. I lost my hair and he called me names. I divorced him but since then we have tried to work it out but I caught him cheating on me again. Why do I still love him? My heart and my spirit is broken and I can’t seem to find out why I feel this way.”
Reading about how other women have to cope with pain and confusion when their husbands walked out of their marriages may not make you happier, but it can show you you’re not alone.
Your husband walked out of your marriage – how do you cope with the confusion and hurt? I welcome your thoughts below. I can’t offer personal advice or counselling, but I’m here to listen!
When He Leaves: Help and Hope for Hurting Wives is another excellent book on coping with confusion and hurt when you’ve been abandoned by your husband.
Hearts are breakable. And even when you heal, you’re not quite who you were before.