When your relationship is falling apart, you may feel helpless, confused, and scared. These tips for coping when your relationship falls apart will give you something to hang on to – and show you that you’re not alone.
These four ways to cope with a relationship meltdown are from Daphne Rose Kingma’s book, The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart: An Emotional and Spiritual Handbook. For an in-depth look at all 10 coping strategies, embedded with inspiring stories and reflective questions, read Kingma’s book.
The fact that your relationship has fallen apart can’t be changed. But, you can recover a sense of equanimity, spirit, and strength. You can lighten your path and heal your heart – and it’s especially important to stay hopeful and faithful if you’re coping with money issues or other problems when your relationship falls apart.
Coping When Your Relationship Falls Apart
You may feel as though you’re plummeting through the air without a parachute. We all experience change and loss at various times in our lives, but when our relationships fall apart, the world suddenly seems to spin out of control. Knowing how to cope during this transition is crucial for maintaining mental, emotional, and spiritual balance.
Grieve – cry your heart out. Processing your emotions, no matter how painful they are, is one of the best tips on how to cope with anxiety after a breakup. You need to give yourself time and space to work through the emotions that arise when relationships fall apart. There is no “right” amount of time to grieve after a breakup or divorce. There is only you, and the healing you need to go through. Different people heal at different rates, and you need to let your heart process the pain of the breakup.
“What differentiates us from stones and butterflies is the degree to which what happens to us affects us on an emotional level,” writes Kingma. When your relationship is in a shambles, every bone in your emotional body hurts. Honoring your sadness and grief through tears relieves the pain and creates a space for lighter emotions to shine through. Take as much time as you need to feel and express your emotions around the loss and heartbreak you are experiencing.
Let go. “Just as tears are a doorway to the future, so, too, is letting go,” says Kingma. When we hold on to the past, we hold on to the pain as well. What are you holding on to that no longer serves you? What thoughts, behaviors or relationships keep you trapped in suffering?
Are you clinging to the past? Read How to Let Go of Someone You Love. When your relationship is falling apart, you need to focus on the future. Practice letting go by surrendering your fears, doubts and pain to God. Ask for support to let go of the bigger blocks that stop you from coping when your relationship falls apart.
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Remember who you’ve always been. “You are a single, talented, rare, unrepeatable human being . . . The you who has always been you has been preparing for this moment,” notes Kingma. When your relationship falls apart, it triggers an identity crisis loaded with fear, guilt and hopelessness. Your mind and body may not know how to cope, but your higher self does.
Touch into your soul and recognize your “Signature Strength,” as Kingma calls it. We each have core strengths that define who we are and how we embrace life. What are your gifts, talents, skills and unique ways of being? Has your tenacity, creativity, humor, resourcefulness, or broad mindedness supported you over the years? Remember, it’s still there – and it is wanting to work for you as you cope with your relationship falling apart.
Live in the light of spirit. “The most profound gift of any crisis – its backbone, heart, and brain – is that it calls us to restructure ourselves along spiritual lines,” writes Kingma. When your relationship falls apart, it’s a wonderful opportunity to connect with God for spiritual support. We often forget to do this when life is running smoothly, but when everything crumbles around us, all that’s left is our spiritual essence.
What spiritual practice can you incorporate into your daily life? Would meditating in the morning, praying in the evening, and reading inspiring spiritual material in between help you to cope after your relationship falls apart?
Hold on to these tips on how to cope when your relationship falls apart as a way to maintain mental, emotional and spiritual balance. As you do, your wings will grow so big and strong you’ll soar with ease across new lands filled with endless possibilities.
For more tips on healing after a relationship meltdown, read How to Emotionally Detach From Someone You Care About.
Do you have any comments on how to cope when your relationship falls apart? Please share below. I can’t offer counseling or relationship advice, but it might help you to write about your experience.