Breaking free from a toxic relationship is tough, but it’s easier if you have the right help! These tips on how to break from from relationships that are toxic, unhealthy, or abusive are inspired by a comment from a reader. She is done with her relationship – even though she still loves him – but she needs help moving on.
In Love Yourself to Health… with Gusto! ABC Guide for Surviving a Toxic Relationship, health coach Jeanine Finelli helps women empower themselves, recover from emotional setbacks, and journey towards healing. She offers nourishment for your mind and teaches you about food and lifestyle habits that will fortify your body and spirit. If your body is healthy and whole, your soul and spirit will follow.
One of the most important breakup tips is to stop dwelling on the past. You need to grieve and heal, yes – but you can’t dwell. That’s why I highly recommend Love Yourself to Health. Below are my quick tips for breaking from from a toxic relationship, but finding freedom takes more time and energy than to reading one blog post…even if it has 10 tips! Learning what letting go of someone you love really means is a process that takes time.
10 Ways to Break Free From a Toxic Relationship
I included a wide range of tips for breaking free from relationships that are toxic and unhealthy. Pick two that resonate with you, that seem to make sense to you. Try those two tips for a week and see if they help. If they don’t, then try two more. The key is to keep trying different strategies until you find what works for you.
1. Give yourself time and space to heal
In Ready to Heal, Kelly McDaniel says the energy it takes to break free from toxic relationships is equivalent to working a full-time job. Emotionally detaching from someone you care about may be the hardest work you’ve ever done. In addition to support from people who understand your undertaking, you must keep the rest of your life simple. You need rest and solitude.
2. Stay hopeful for the future
Take a deep breath and repeat after me: “This breakup happened for a reason, and I am not meant to be with this person. Though I hurt now, my pain will go away. I will be happy, healthy, and whole again.” Don’t lose hope for your future happiness, health, relationships, and love! Know that your ex taught you valuable things you needed to learn, but now it’s time to move on in confidence, hope, and peace.
3. Connect with people who are true, healthy, and positive
Who are the most positive, healthy, right people in your life? Now is the time to hold on to them, and even ask them for tips for breaking free from toxic relationships. The most positive, healthy people are often those who have experienced the most painful moments in life. They have lost and grieved, and they know what it’s like to be hurt. Connect to them, learn from them, and believe that you will one day be the most positive person you know.
4. Learn about your role in this toxic relationship
Toxic relationships are a category of unhealthy relationships, which are different than abusive relationships. What type of person were you in this toxic relationship, and what were you getting from it? Why did you stay with him, and how did the break up happen? When you’re breaking free from toxic relationships, the healthiest thing you can do is take time to examine yourself. What were your motives, hopes, goals, problems, fixations?
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5. Use this time to get emotionally healthy
In How to Leave a Man You Love – But Can’t Live With, I encourage readers to deal with the fear that you’ll never be loved again. I’ve been stuck in toxic relationships because I was scared nobody else would love me. I didn’t realize there were good, healthy, happy men who would love to love me, and who would be good for me! My self-esteem and self-confidence was rock bottom, and it held me back from moving on and believing I could find love again.
6. Don’t stay in touch
Connecting with your ex on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc won’t help you break free from the relationship you know was toxic for you. Don’t be friends with your ex, because you’ll only be prolonging the pain. I encourage you to take a complete break from the social networks you connected with him on, so you aren’t tempted to reconnect.
7. Experiment with different ways to make over your life
In 9 Makeover Ideas for After a Breakup, I describe ways to heal after a painful breakup. My favorite tip for breaking free from toxic relationships is to declutter and freshen up your home. Rearrange your living room, move pictures around, clean out your closets, get rid of old crap that doesn’t suit you anymore. Other ways to make over your life include new exercise regimes, a mental and emotional health checkup with a counselor, or a new job.
8. Remember how you gained strength and healed in the past
Before this breakup, what was the most difficult thing you experienced? Remember how you dealt with the pain, tragedy, hurt, and negativity. Reflect on how you healed and broke free from the damage it caused. For me, it’s time that helps me heal and break free from toxic experiences. Time, and being present in this moment.
Right now, I am enjoying my writing, hot chocolate in my belly, and the sound of the rain on my roof. Being fully present in this moment does not leave room for ruminating on past toxic relationships.
9. Send yourself tips for breaking free – yes, in the mail!
In How to Break Your Addiction to a Person, Howard Halpern describes one of the most creative tips for breaking free from toxic relationships. One of his patients wrote letters to herself, sending herself tips for breaking free from toxic relationships. For instance, when she knew an anniversary or special event was coming up, she’d write a letter that said something like: “Hello Maria! It would’ve been your sixth anniversary and I know you’ll feel sad. I think you should call Mike and make plans for that day before it gets here. He’d love to hear from you – because you’re smart, fun, unique, and awesome. xoxoxox.”
10. Follow your brains, not your heart
In How to Get Out of Bed When You’re Grieving a Difficult Loss, Katrina Smith offers a very interesting tip on healing from toxic relationships:
Do not believe the bubbles and fairies quote of “follow your heart.” It is a lie. If you find yourself in a toxic relationship, although it is extremely difficult, take your heart out of the situation and evaluate the relationship with the sound mind that God gave you. You were given your mind to form sound judgment, and your heart was created to form an emotional attachment. God tells us to use our sound minds first before allowing our heart to engage.
I welcome your comments on breaking free from toxic relationships below. I can’t offer advice or counseling, but it might help you to share what you’re going through.
Your thoughts are welcome below! I don't give advice, but you can get free relationship help from marriage coach Mort Fertel.