Are you a priority in his life, or does your boyfriend have commitment issues? Here’s how to tell if you’re wasting your time on your relationship.
Meet Catherine, who asked for help with her boyfriend. She’s 37 years old, and is in a relationship with a man who is 29 years old. They see each other in person sometimes, but he’d rather talk on the phone – even though they only live 10 minutes apart.
“The longest relationship he has been in has only been 6 months,” she says on When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Have Time for You. “He never calls me, and I do all the texting. If I did not text, we would not talk to each other until we see each other the next scheduled night. We see each other on our scheduled nights – Thursday night, Saturday night and all day Sunday. I want to see him more but he gets mad when I bring it up.” She wants to know if her boyfriend has commitment issues…and I think it’s easy to tell in this case. What do you think? Below, you’ll see my advice for her and any woman who is wondering if her boyfriend is reluctant or even scared to commit to a relationship…
Catherine adds that it’s very difficult to see her boyfriend on other nights. If she misses one of their scheduled nights, she thought he would miss her, but he didn’t mind waiting until their next scheduled night. He’s not affectionate, and she always has to initiate cuddles and affection.
“I thought a boyfriend would want to see a girlfriend a little more than he does, he has never said ‘I miss you or I love you.’ I think he has commitment issues, I have asked him twice if he would like to move in with me he always says relax, breathe, we are young. I know you can’t analyze him, but do you have any insight? Thank you.”
How to Tell if Your Boyfriend Has Commitment Issues
Catherine is right: I can’t analyze him, and I don’t know if her boyfriend has commitment issues. It seems like he doesn’t want to make their relationship a priority in his life, though.
He doesn’t prioritize you in his life
If your boyfriend isn’t interested in prioritizing you, then it doesn’t matter if you learn all the tips on how to tell if your boyfriend has commitment issues. The point is that you aren’t a priority in his life. That’s all you need to know.
If your relationship makes you feel insecure, then he’s not the right one for you. If you don’t feel like you’re important to your boyfriend, then you probably aren’t.
What advice have you already received about how to tell if your boyfriend has commitment issues? I welcome your big and little thoughts in the comments section below. What advice are you giving yourself about your boyfriend’s commitment issues? Your opinion is more valuable than mine, because you know him, and you know yourself.
His actions make you wonder how committed he is to you
Your boyfriend is constantly communicating with you – even when he’s not texting, emailing, calling, or seeing you. He is telling you all sorts of stuff about himself and how he feels about you. He may not be using words, but he is dropping hints.
Here’s how to tell if your boyfriend has commitment issues: his actions make you suspect he isn’t really interested in being with you. It may hurt to realize that you aren’t his top priority, but it’s important that you listen to what his actions are telling you. Believe what he does over what he says.
You don’t feel like you’re important to him
Here’s what Mariel wrote on 5 Things to Do When Your Boyfriend Stops Texting You:
“Does my boyfriend have commitment issues? I been with him for more than a year and never heard him say that he love me. He just say I am a priority in his life but nothing bout love. We text each other everyday but he never calls me. I can see that he doesn’t want a commitment. If he can’t see me he always say he is busy at work and he has a lot of things to do. He wasn’t like that before. When we first started dating he always want to be with me and he always liked me to go to his house. But now he just likes to come visit me at my house for a couple hours, then e leaves. I love him but I really feel like he isn’t committed to me. I feel.like this is one sided relationship even though I love him. I guess I have to decide as soon as possible what to do, before I get hurt more and more.”
He’s not going to change. I know you want him to deal with his commitment issues and be a more loving, attentive boyfriend…but the only way he’ll change is if he decides that it’s more painful for him to stay the way he is now, or change.
You have the power to choose your future. You have the power to choose to be happy, healthy, and in a mutually fulfilling relationship. You do NOT have to stay in a relationship that makes you happy. You are a smart, valuable, and beautiful woman with everything you need.
A blessing for you
May you find wisdom and guidance as you think about how to tell if your boyfriend has commitment issues.
May you pay attention to the signs and hints he’s dropping, and may you have courage and strength to do what you believe in your heart is right. I pray for love and peace to fill your life, and for you to connect with source of life and light, which is God.
I may not have given you a clear answer on how to tell if your boyfriend has commitment issues. That’s because you are the only person who can see your relationship clearly. The key is to be honest with yourself about your relationship, and to find strength and courage to make the right decision for you.
Listen to your gut instincts (intuition!), not just your heart. If your heart is telling you what you don’t want to hear, learn what to do When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Want You Anymore.
A question for you about commitment issues
What is one word that describes how you feel about your boyfriend’s commitment issues? Tell me below. You can write more than a word if you’d like. Sometimes it’s helpful to bundle all your feelings into a word and share how you feel.
My next article is about how to fix a one sided relationship. If you want to work on your boyfriend’s commitment issues, make sure you sign up at the bottom of this post to receive new articles.
While I can’t offer advice, I do read every comment. I encourage you to respond to other readers’ comments if you feel led, and to share your experience of commitment issues in relationships. Writing often brings clarity and insight, and can help you process your feelings of missing him.
“Are you spending your time on the right things? Because time is all you have.” – Randy Pausch.
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