How to Tell if Your Boyfriend Has Commitment Issues


Are you a priority in his life, or does your boyfriend have commitment issues? Here’s how to tell if you’re wasting your time on your relationship.

boyfriend commitment issuesMeet Catherine, who asked for help with her boyfriend. She’s 37 years old, and is in a relationship with a man who is 29 years old. They see each other in person sometimes, but he’d rather talk on the phone – even though they only live 10 minutes apart.

“The longest relationship he has been in has only been 6 months,” she says on When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Have Time for You. “He never calls me, and I do all the texting. If I did not text, we would not talk to each other until we see each other the next scheduled night.  We see each other on our scheduled nights – Thursday night, Saturday night and all day Sunday. I want to see him more but he gets mad when I bring it up.” She wants to know if her boyfriend has commitment issues…and I think it’s easy to tell in this case. What do you think? Below, you’ll see my advice for her and any woman who is wondering if her boyfriend is reluctant or even scared to commit to a relationship…


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Catherine adds that it’s very difficult to see her boyfriend on other nights. If she misses one of their scheduled nights, she thought he would miss her, but he didn’t mind waiting until their next scheduled night. He’s not affectionate, and she always has to initiate cuddles and affection.

“I thought a boyfriend would want to see a girlfriend a little more than he does, he has never said ‘I miss you or I love you.’ I think he has commitment issues, I have asked him twice if he would like to move in with me he always says relax, breathe, we are young. I know you can’t analyze him, but do you have any insight? Thank you.”

How to Tell if Your Boyfriend Has Commitment Issues

Catherine is right: I can’t analyze him, and I don’t know if her boyfriend has commitment issues. It seems like he doesn’t want to make their relationship a priority in his life, though.

He doesn’t prioritize you in his life

If your boyfriend isn’t interested in prioritizing you, then it doesn’t matter if you learn all the tips on how to tell if your boyfriend has commitment issues. The point is that you aren’t a priority in his life. That’s all you need to know.

If your relationship makes you feel insecure, then he’s not the right one for you. If you don’t feel like you’re important to your boyfriend, then you probably aren’t.

What advice have you already received about how to tell if your boyfriend has commitment issues? I welcome your big and little thoughts in the comments section below. What advice are you giving yourself about your boyfriend’s commitment issues? Your opinion is more valuable than mine, because you know him, and you know yourself.

His actions make you wonder how committed he is to you

Your boyfriend is constantly communicating with you – even when he’s not texting, emailing, calling, or seeing you. He is telling you all sorts of stuff about himself and how he feels about you. He may not be using words, but he is dropping hints.

Here’s how to tell if your boyfriend has commitment issues: his actions make you suspect he isn’t really interested in being with you. It may hurt to realize that you aren’t his top priority, but it’s important that you listen to what his actions are telling you. Believe what he does over what he says.

You don’t feel like you’re important to him

Here’s what Mariel wrote on 5 Things to Do When Your Boyfriend Stops Texting You:

“Does my boyfriend have commitment issues? I been with him for more than a year and never heard him say that he love me. He just say I am a priority in his life but nothing bout love. We text each other everyday but he never calls me. I can see that he doesn’t want a commitment. If he can’t see me he always say he is busy at work and he has a lot of things to do. He wasn’t like that before. When we first started dating he always want to be with me and he always liked me to go to his house. But now he just likes to come visit me at my house for a couple hours, then e leaves. I love him but I really feel like he isn’t committed to me. I feel.like this is one sided relationship even though I love him. I guess I have to decide as soon as possible what to do, before I get hurt more and more.”

He’s not going to change. I know you want him to deal with his commitment issues and be a more loving, attentive boyfriend…but the only way he’ll change is if he decides that it’s more painful for him to stay the way he is now, or change.

You have the power to choose your future. You have the power to choose to be happy, healthy, and in a mutually fulfilling relationship. You do NOT have to stay in a relationship that makes you happy. You are a smart, valuable, and beautiful woman with everything you need.

A blessing for you

May you find wisdom and guidance as you think about how to tell if your boyfriend has commitment issues.

commitment issues in relationships (1)May you pay attention to the signs and hints he’s dropping, and may you have courage and strength to do what you believe in your heart is right. I pray for love and peace to fill your life, and for you to connect with source of life and light, which is God.

I may not have given you a clear answer on how to tell if your boyfriend has commitment issues. That’s because you are the only person who can see your relationship clearly. The key is to be honest with yourself about your relationship, and to find strength and courage to make the right decision for you.

Listen to your gut instincts (intuition!), not just your heart.  If your heart is telling you what you don’t want to hear, learn what to do When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Want You Anymore.

A question for you about commitment issues

What is one word that describes how you feel about your boyfriend’s commitment issues? Tell me below. You can write more than a word if you’d like. Sometimes it’s helpful to bundle all your feelings into a word and share how you feel.

My next article is about how to fix a one sided relationship. If you want to work on your boyfriend’s commitment issues, make sure you sign up at the bottom of this post to receive new articles.

While I can’t offer advice, I do read every comment. I encourage you to respond to other readers’ comments if you feel led, and to share your experience of commitment issues in relationships. Writing often brings clarity and insight, and can help you process your feelings of missing him.

“Are you spending your time on the right things? Because time is all you have.” – Randy Pausch.

xo


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3 thoughts on “How to Tell if Your Boyfriend Has Commitment Issues

  • Calligo Blue

    Hello,
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. We’ve lived together for 1 year. We are taking a break. It’s been about a month since we’ve been apart but we still see each other now. I have some anger issues I need to work out. We both thought it would be best to try and work on ourselves and see if we can work it out. I’m just concerned because he doesn’t text me ever. I’m the one doing all the texting. He’s not really a very communicative or emotional person though. He’s been that way from the beginning. He has recently made a reservation for a very nice restaurant to talk about stuff which was very sweet. I didn’t think he would ever do something like that for us all by himself. He’s told me he loves me and wants to get back together but he just can’t take the angry fighting. (Not physical) I’ve destroyed books he likes. :( I’ve since replaced them. I feel horrible about it. I’m also going to a therapist. At times when I ask him questions about his day or what he’s doing after work, he gets angry and doesn’t respond, or blatantly lies. I don’t know if he’s doing that to upset me on purpose but it sure does work. There is also a friend of his who I’m concerned about. She recently broke up with her boyfriend and cheated on him with some other guy. He’s told me he asked his friend out before but she wasn’t interested. I’m just worried he might have feelings for her still even though he said he doesn’t. Could you possibly give me some advice on my situation? I love him. I want to share my life with him but not if I’m not the one he wants and loves.

  • mila

    hi, i was having a relationship with a man that age 60 and i am 23 years old. we already 1 years in relationship. he definitely has commitment issues, he is divorced and i am separated to my husband with one son, i was processing my annualment this time. but all i ask to my bf is dont be friends with his ex wife and ex gf. they are close to each other and those woman waiting for him to comeback. and he doesnt wanna move in with me, hes reason bcz he doesnt want to be involved of my complications about my annualment. i dont know if its just his reason to dont commit with me or if its really true, hes staying in the house of his ex wife. we just meet afternoon till night for making love, and after that we go back to each other place. its very sad when i need him so bad to stay beside me and live with me but he had always have a reason. sometimes i wanna give up and stop loving him.

  • Asca

    I met my boyfriend 8 years ago and it was not the right time for us so I let it go really believing that if it was right we would cross paths. Lo and behold 4 years later we did… We are in an long distance relationship and have been for the past 7 months now. He has come to visit me twice , he lives on his own But never suggest I go there. I feel Every time I talk about closing the distance he kinda shuts me out and says we don’t need to have a plan because he don’t want to tell me things and somthing happen to where it cant and that it pressures him with what he already deals with and that if I kept doing it it would only push him away. This recent visit when he left its been 3 days sense I’ve heard from him and I’m lost.. Confused.. And I feel shut out. I am not sure where I go from here but it makes me feel like he is scared of commitment and has to much going on.