Do you feel like you’re “faking it” when you’re dating someone new? Here are five tips on how to be yourself on a date, from psychologist Paulette Kouffman Sherman, PhD. She applies the law of attraction to love and dating…
In Dating from the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart, Dr Sherman describes how to find your dating style and be your best you. With her help, you’ll learn how to be yourself on dates and actually enjoy the journey towards finding your soulmate.
My boyfriend used to ask his mother, ‘How can I find the right woman for me?’ and she would answer, ‘Don’t worry about finding the right woman- concentrate on becoming the right man.’
I don’t know who said this, but it’s a great dating tip for women, too! Become the woman you admire, trust, and respect…and you’ll attract a good man.
And, here are her five ways to be yourself on dates…
5 Ways to Be Yourself on Dates
Being authentic is easier said than done, especially if you really like someone.
Remember that being yourself takes time
Think of the world as one large classroom where you can learn and grow. Focus on how each date can teach you something new about yourself and dating. Often people think that dating is a waste of time if they don’t meet ‘Mr. or Mrs. Right’ right away — but it could be time well spent. Even the worst dating disasters can teach you something new about who you are and what type of person you’re looking for in a love relationship.
Practice sharing what you love
It takes time, courage, and practice to be yourself on your dates. Authenticity is tough (and not just for single men and women! Even married couples can hide their true selves). Everyone is at their best when discussing something they love — their job, volunteer work, travel, etc. Let yourself be known and the right mate will stick around.
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Be interested in your date
Being yourself on a date isn’t just sharing what you love to do. One of the best healthy dating tips for singles is to be genuinely curious about who your date is as a man or woma. Look for what lights him up — he’ll feel special and great, and you’ll enjoy getting to know him better.
If you struggle with making conversation on your dates, read Small Talk Tips to Help You Stop Being Shy on First Dates. Great dating tips for singles there!
Take action when you’re looking for a date
So many single men and women think they can just sit around in their pajamas and the right person will find them (online dating can be effective, but in-person dating is more fun). Find activities that represent who you are. The best thing to do if you want a more active dating life is to combine active participation in singles groups with activities you love to do. For instance, I joined a singles outdoor club before I was married. It was a great way to meet new people, and it was a blast. Go to social functions, classes, etc at least twice a week.
Apply the law of attraction to your dating life
According to the law of attraction, our thoughts become things and we create our realities. So, visualize finding true love and your ideal love relationship. Picture yourself being yourself on dates. Focus on this healthy dating advice: say to yourself, “I will learn something valuable from every person I meet.” Then make it your business to do so.
If you’re not sure if you should be dating yet, read How Long to Wait Before Starting a New Relationship.
Do you struggle to be yourself on dates? I welcome your thoughts below…
Your thoughts are welcome below! I don't give advice, but you can get free relationship help from marriage coach Mort Fertel.
For more information about Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman, go to My Dating School.