How do you know if you’re ready to fall in love again? These tips for avoiding rebound relationships will help you make sure you’re ready for a new relationship…and maybe marriage…and maybe kids…
If you’re struggling with dating and the single life, read Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate. This book is for every single woman sitting home alone wondering, “Where are all the good men, and why isn’t a gorgeous one standing shirtless in my kitchen mixing me up a pomegranate mojito?” Patti doles out her best tried-and-true advice to help women of all ages get out of their own way and get hitched.
“It is impossible to love and be wise,” said Francis Bacon. That may be true — but love is serious business, so we need to keep our wits about us! If you already know you’re ready to fall in love again, read How to Find a Boyfriend.
Are You Ready to Fall in Love Again?
“When you’re on the rebound, your new relationship isn’t about itself,” writes J.M. Kearns in Better Love Next Time: How the Relationship that Didn’t Last Can Lead You to the One that Will. “It’s about the old one.”
Falling in love too fast, making rash decisions, and tolerating behavior that you wouldn’t normally are possible signs of a rebound relationship. To stop rebound dating, you must…
Deal with your loneliness, isolation, desperation
Many of us have dated people we have nothing in common with or who we don’t even like — and who may not even like us. Are you dating out of desperation? That’s a surefire way to create a rebound relationship. If your heart is still broken from a past love, make sure you’ve taken time to heal and process your loss.
Make sure you’re not hiding from the past
Rebound love happens when you use your new date or possible love relationship to run away from your past relationship. “We plunge into a new relationship, not because we are paying attention to the past, but to avoid listening to it,” writes Kearns in Better Love Next Time. “We use the new relationship as a distraction.” Stop rebound dating by letting go of your past love relationship.
Figure out what went wrong in your last relationship
To avoid a rebound relationship, try to understand why your last relationship didn’t survive. Try to be honest and objective, and don’t make a hasty diagnosis. Kearns writes, “You misidentify the factors that made the last relationship sicken and die, and armed with that false vaccine, you set you to avoid the same infection in the future — and you walk right into it.”
Accept your role in your last love relationship
Most broken relationships are caused by both partners – it’s rarely just one person who is to blame. Instead of blaming your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend for causing all the relationship problems, accept the role you played. This doesn’t just help you become ready to fall in love again, it’ll also increase your health, self-confidence, and ability to relate to others.
Let go of the person you loved
This last tip for rebound relationships is about making sure you’re over your past relationship! Only you know if you’re over your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend, and only you know if you’re emotionally healthy and ready for a new love relationship. Listen to your heart, my friend. Deal with whatever you need to before you pursue new love.
“You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip.” ~ Jonathan Carroll.
If you haven’t gotten over your past relationship, you might find How to Overcome Obsessive Thoughts About Your Ex helpful.
What do you think about rebound relationships, and knowing if you’re ready to fall in love again? Comments welcome below…I can’t offer advice, but it may help you to share what you’re experiencing.
May you fall in wholly and deeply, and have a great relationship!