Asking “Am I in love?” is one of the first things we do when we start having more serious feelings. These signs of a serious relationship will help you know if you’re truly in love or merely infatuated with the guy you’re dating.
If you feel like you don’t know your boyfriend well, read 101 Conversation Starters for Couples. The most important way to determine if you’re in true love is by learning as much as you can about your boyfriend. If you don’t know much about him, then how can you love him?
If you’re curious whether your relationship is solid and healthy, read A True Love Test – 7 Habits of Happy Couples. It contains practical signs of a serious relationship, which will help you determine if you are truly in love.
The Best Answer When You’re Wondering “Am I in Love?”
I knew I was in love when my husband (then boyfriend) and I were dating. Our long distance relationship made it more complicated for me to answer the am I in love? question because I missed him all the time! Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so I sometimes wondered if it was true love or if I was merely lonely.
How I knew I was in love
My husband and I were friends for 17 years before we got married. That’s how I knew I was in love: we had a solid, healthy friendship long before we started messing around with kissing and sex and marriage! Being friends first is the best way to start a serious relationship, and to build a foundation of true love.
If you’ve been in love in the past, then you may find it easier to know if you’re in love with your current boyfriend. These serious relationship signs will help you figure out what love is and if you’re really in true love…
7 Signs of a Serious Relationship
If your boyfriend is pushing you to do things you’re not comfortable with – and you can’t say no to him – then you’re not in a serious relationship.
Your boyfriend knows your biggest fears
You know you’re in love when you confess your biggest embarrassments, fears, and insecurities to your boyfriend. Finding true love isn’t just about those hot sizzling feelings of attraction and chemistry and butterflies in your stomach! You know you’re in love – and it’s a serious relationship – when you can be authentic with your boyfriend. You can talk about what you’re scared of, grossed out by, worried about, and hoping will happen in your life.
If your boyfriend only knows the little things about you (eg, your favorite movies or restaurant), then it’s not a serious relationship.
You’re not afraid to be yourself with your boyfriend
Are you comfortable speaking your mind, sharing your opinions, saying no, and expressing your thoughts and emotions with your boyfriend? This isn’t a sign that you aren’t in love – but it is a sign of a serious relationship. You and your boyfriend are not serious if you can’t be yourself with him.
If you can’t be yourself with your boyfriend, ask yourself what’s holding you back. This is more important than figuring out your answers when you ask am I in love?
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You know your boyfriend’s insecurities and weaknesses
How real is your boyfriend with you? Are there signs you and he can about having a serious relationship, or do you guys avoid the topic altogether? If he avoids discussions about his fears and hopes for your future as a couple, then either he’s not ready for a serious relationship or he’s not in love with you.
When you ask yourself am I in love?, don’t just think about what your boyfriend thinks about you. Consider what you think about your boyfriend’s personality, lifestyle, relationships, family, and goals.
You’ve met your boyfriend’s friends and family
One of the biggest signs of a serious relationship is who you spend time with as a couple. If you only hang out together as a couple and you haven’t met your boyfriend’s friends or family, then he’s probably not in true love with you. Yet. Remember that true love takes time – it does NOT happen at first sight!
If you’ve met your boyfriend’s parents and it didn’t go well, read How to Stop Your Boyfriend’s Mother From Ruining Your Relationship.
Your relationship conversations are always playful, never serious
What was the most serious conversation you and your boyfriend had as a couple? This is another sure sign of a serious relationship: you talk about your emotional health, God, family members, career goals, childhood hurts, current struggles at work or school, problems with parents, etc.
If you and your boyfriend never have difficult, honest conversations then you know the answer to the “am I in love?” question. It’s No. Why? Because you haven’t worked through problems or difficult conversations together. True love is about dealing with problems and growing more mature as a couple.
Your boyfriend doesn’t mind talking about your relationship
Having serious conversations about your relationship, future, and feelings of love for each other isn’t easy. Few men like to talk about their relationship and not all women enjoy having serious relationship conversations, either.
You know your boyfriend has probably answered “yes” to the am I in love? question if he is honest about his feelings for you, he has shared his fears and securities with you, and he doesn’t like having serious relationship conversations but he does anyway.
You and your boyfriend are spiritually compatible
Are you both Christians, Jewish, Muslim, or agnostic? How do you celebrate your faith – and do you talk about your spiritual lives? A healthy sense of spirituality and a strong belief in God can bring so much peace, love, joy, and power to your life! If you and your boyfriend have different ideas about what it means to be spiritual, then you may answer “yes” to the “am I in love?” question…but your love may not be strong enough to keep your relationship afloat for the long term.
If you believe you are in love with your boyfriend and he is in love with you, but you keep analyzing your relationship, read How to Stop Overthinking a Relationship.
A List of Serious Relationship Signs
Glance through these 10 quick tips, to help you answer the am I in love question. Tell me what you think in the comment section below…
- You’ve been in a serious relationship before, so you know what to expect
- You learned from your previous breakups
- The “Am I in love?” question is easy to talk about with your boyfriend
- You feel comfortable and safe around your boyfriend
- You have determined that the warning signs of a bad relationship do not exist in your relationship
- You and your boyfriend both want a serious relationship
- You know the difference between love and infatuation
- You don’t feel sexually or physically pressured by your boyfriend
- You and your boyfriend talk about everything you do in the bedroom before you do it
- You and your boyfriend aren’t dating other people; you’re both serious about building a relationship as a couple
If you suspect you aren’t in love with your boyfriend – and you are worried about what he’d say if you asked him if he is in love with you – then it’s time to take a step back from your relationship. Think about where you want your life to go, and what type of man you want to marry.
I welcome your thoughts on these signs of a serious relationship. How do you feel about the “Am I in love?” question? I can’t offer relationship or dating advice, but writing might bring you clarity and insight.
May your relationship be filled with light and love, and may you know beyond a shadow of a doubt whether or not you are in true love.