A year ago I was brainstorming titles for Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back and I asked for your opinion. I offered three possible titles and you voted – and your choices helped me pick my title (which I love, by the way. Thank you!).
Your feedback taught me something new and important about letting go of someone you love. Many of you were opposed to the idea of letting go, whether you lost a loved one due to a breakup, divorce, or death.
You want to heal and move forward, but you don’t necessarily want to let go of the person you lost. I respect that! And your thoughts helped me find the perfect title for my book.
But I haven’t stopped thinking about letting go.
Letting go of the past
To me, letting go of people you love doesn’t mean forgetting about them or the life you shared. Letting go isn’t about shutting out the past or turning away from who you were or what you hoped for.
Rather, letting go is a gentle loosening of unhealthy attachments and debilitating grief. It’s about releasing your expectations of how life “should” have gone and how relationships “should” have unfolded. Letting go is about accepting people and events for what they are without wishing things were different.
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Letting go of today
Letting go also means releasing your expectations of what “should” happen today – including with the people you love! Your family, friends, coworkers, neighbors…loving and accepting them means letting go of your expectations, hopes, and plans for them.
What are you working on, hoping for, dreaming of? It’s awesome to pursue your passions! It’s fun and exciting to have hopes and plans for the future, to look forward to the possibility of your work and dreams coming to life.
And it’s even more fun and exciting if you release your attachment to how your life should unfold. To me, that’s what it means to let go.
What does letting go mean to you? I’d love to hear from you; feel free to comment below.
Letting go of your expectations
I’m working on my second book proposal. I’m so excited about this book I can hardly sleep at night. I’d love if my publisher offered me a contract — especially now, in light of all I learned by writing Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back.
But I’m letting go of it. I’m showing up, doing the work, and getting out of the way so the Holy Spirit can flow through me. I’m marveling and hoping and dreaming! I’m surrendering my fears and doubts to God.
If the publisher likes the book idea and offers me a contract, great! But if not, that’s great too. I have other ideas, other dreams, other projects to explore. My hopes and dreams are not set on this one thing.
What are you refusing to let go of?
Maybe you were hurt, disappointed, perhaps betrayed by someone you love. Maybe God let you down or crushed your dreams. Maybe you’re grieving a loss, surrendering your hopes and plans, letting go of the life you wanted and expected.
But you’re having a hard time moving on (growing forward!). You’re struggling with the same burdens every day, wrestling with the same doubts, fears, and griefs. You want to heal and move on, but you keep finding yourself in the same old place.
It’s time to let go.
Surrender to joy and peace
Fill your life with variety, an abundance of people, places, pets and plans that inspire and uplift you! Don’t set your heart on one thing, one person, one life, one hope or dream. Don’t cling to your expectations of how things “should” be.
Let God be God. If you believe in Him, trust His promise that He is working all things together for the good of those who are called according to His purpose.
You have everything you need to blossom into who God created you to be. Accept His love, power, and forgiveness. Let go of everything that entangles and ensnares you — including your own self. Especially your own self.
With His love,
Laurie & Blossy
P.S. Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back is available for preorder on Barnes and Noble and Amazon. Order your copy today to make sure you get a copy to read it over the Christmas break.
New on She Blossoms
Letting Go of a Relationship You Want to Keep – You want to hold on, but you have to let go. Letting go of a relationship you want to keep is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. It’s also one of the healthiest.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love – Do you want to loosen an unhealthy attachment to the past? You can break free from the heartache of holding on to a relationship that is over! This ebook is about picking up the pieces of your heart and moving forward with peace and joy.
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When You Miss Him Like Crazy – Your feelings of heartache and loneliness are strong, perhaps overwhelming, because love literally changes how you think and feel. Love is a drug! It’s normal to go through feelings of withdrawal after you lose love—whether it’s a breakup or a short-term separation.