Yesterday I was walking with my teenage friend, who is 17 years old. We’ve known each other for six years; she takes care of our dogs when we travel. Her favorite sport is rugby and the season has finally started. Yay! Mostly.
“Last week, the substitute rugby coach patted my bum,” she said. “I didn’t feel right about it. I hated it, actually, but I didn’t know what to do. I was totally caught off guard! And I didn’t know if it was okay for a coach to do that.”
“It’s not okay for anyone to do that,” I said. “You have to trust your intuition! If you think something feels weird, then it’s wrong.”
“But because of my past, I always feel scared and anxious when a man even touches my shoulder,” she said. “I can’t trust my natural reaction because I know it’s wrong a lot.”
Oh. It hadn’t occurred to me that a history of abuse — or even failed relationships — affects our ability to trust our intuition. My young friend can’t trust herself to make good decisions with men in her life, because of the horrible actions of one boy.
We decided it doesn’t matter if a man’s physical contact with her body is socially acceptable. What matters is how she perceives that action. If she isn’t comfortable with a man touching her anywhere, she has the right and the responsibility to say something. Maybe this means yelling, or running away. It doesn’t matter how she gets away or responds; what matters is that she feels comfortable.
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Do you trust your intuition?
If not, your first step is simply becoming aware when something doesn’t feel right for you. Then, practice small ways to speak up. You might begin by simply writing in your journal or talking with a friend. Then, consider talking to the person who is making you uncomfortable — or perhaps find someone who can act as a mediator or advisor.
Your intuition may not be 100% reliable right now. Even the healthiest, most spiritually grounded women sometimes wonder if their intuition is right! Start slow, learn to pay attention when your “Spidey senses” start tingling.
“Give yourself permission to make mistakes,” says Blossy. “Drop your fear and pick up your faith. Trust God to lead you in the right direction – even if it’s into an unknown future!”
May you find peace, wisdom and clarity as you move through the rest of your week. Take good care of yourself, for you are worth taking good care of!
In peace and passion,
Laurie and Blossy
On “She Blossoms” this week
In How to Trust Your Intuition After a Failed Relationship, I share two ways to trust your gut after a breakup or divorce.
And in How to Trust Your Intuition When Dealing With Toxic Coworkers, I offer five Blossom Tips for difficult work environments.
Last week’s theme was overcoming setbacks! If you missed it, read Do You Truly Know How to Overcome Setbacks? — Blossom Tip 25.
Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back offers hope, encouragement, and strength for women walking through loss. My Blossom Tips are fresh and practical - they stem from my own experiences with a schizophrenic mother, foster homes, a devastating family estrangement, and infertility.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets (and Practical Tips!) for Healing Your Heart is filled with comforting and healthy breakup advice. The Blossom Tips will help you loosen unhealthy attachments to the past, seal your heart with peace, and move forward with joy.
When You Miss Him Like Crazy: 25 Lessons to Move You From Broken to Blossoming After a Breakup will help you refocus your life, re-create yourself, and start living fully again! Your spirit will rise and you'll blossom into who you were created to be.