Do you make decisions quickly and easily? Or maybe you’re like me — you overthink things, repeatedly review the pros and cons, fear making a mistake.
I’m a thinker. In fact, some would say I’m an overthinker because I’ll analyze a choice to death. I can see the good and bad in every option (say, vacationing in Spain versus Thailand versus Russia, or adopting a dog versus a cat versus a miniature pig).
And those are the easy decisions! The really hard ones — which I know you struggle with — are about relationships, family, work, health, and your future.
In addition to not being able to make a decision quickly or easily, I also tend to rehash the decisions I’ve already made. “Am I sure that was the right thing to do?” and “It’s too hard, confusing, and painful so it must be wrong.”
If you find it easy to make decisions, tell me your secret! But if you’re indecisive like me, you might find my new technique helpful…
The Warmer/Colder Game
Maybe you know this game from childhood: you pick or hide something in the room, and your friend tries to guess what or where it is. if your friend moves closer to the object, you say, “You’re getting warmer…warmer….you’re hot! You’re hot that you’re on FIRE! You’re burning up!!!”
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When they get far away, you say “Brrr….you’re so cold, you might as well be living in an igloo.”
Here’s how to make a quick and easy decision: pick one of your choices — flip a coin if you need to. For example, say your decision is to adopt a miniature pig (or leave a relationship, or go back to school, or move to Montreal).
Sit with that decision for a few minutes, or even a few days. Does the decision to get a pig make you feel warm, excited, thrilled, even a bit scared? Maybe a lot scared, because pigs are … pigs.
A warm/hot feeling means you’re on the right track. It’s a good choice, something that inspires passion and meaning in your life. It’s the Holy Spirit leading you forward, helping you hear God’s still small voice.
Remember: a good decision doesn’t mean easy. It’ll still be difficult, scary, and painful. Good means right for you, and it will involve sacrifices. It’ll also be rich, healthy, deep and fulfilling.
A cold, cool or neutral feeling means you need to put the pig down and slowly back away. Sure, he’s a good pig and a lovely pet for some people…but he’s not the pig for you.
When you feel cold or cool about a choice, then you need to walk away. It’s not the best decision for you. When has God’s Holy Spirit ever been cold or neutral? Never, I daresay! Quiet, yes. Whispery and soft, yes. Sometimes confusing…but never cold, cool, or dead. The Spirit is alive, and life is warmth.
What decision are you facing right now? What’s at stake? Where will you be in a year if you decide to do nothing?
If you’re making a relationship decision, read Is It Time to Break Up? How to Know for Sure.
Take good care of yourself, for you are worth taking good care of, my friend.
And feel free to tell me about the decisions you’re facing – or what you think about this Blossom Tip. I’m all ears! 🙂
In the warmth of the Holy Spirit,
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Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back offers hope, encouragement, and strength for women walking through loss. My Blossom Tips are fresh and practical - they stem from my own experiences with a schizophrenic mother, foster homes, a devastating family estrangement, and infertility.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets (and Practical Tips!) for Healing Your Heart is filled with comforting and healthy breakup advice. The Blossom Tips will help you loosen unhealthy attachments to the past, seal your heart with peace, and move forward with joy.
When You Miss Him Like Crazy: 25 Lessons to Move You From Broken to Blossoming After a Breakup will help you refocus your life, re-create yourself, and start living fully again! Your spirit will rise and you'll blossom into who you were created to be.