What’s dragging you down and holding you back?
Funny how anchors can start out as grounding and safe, yet they can turn into huge weights that prevent you from moving forward.
My anchor is Happy Hour at my house. I love having a glass of Zinfandel or Merlot at 5 pm with Bruce. We cook dinner, talk about our day, stuff the dogs’ chew toys with treats, and take care of miscellaneous kitchen chores. I don’t like cooking or spending time in the kitchen, and wine makes my chores rosy.
But for the past several months I’ve been having two glasses of wine instead of just one. Sometimes I even polish off half a bottle before we eat (we don’t drink with dinner).
Wine has become an anchor to me. It robs me of time and energy. After dinner I don’t feel inspired, motivated, or energetic enough to paint or practice my flute or go for a long walk or even talk to friends or family on the phone.
It’s time to break free….but the problem with anchors is that, once lodged, they’re not easy to cast off.
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What is your anchor?
We all have anchors. Some are little, such as the daily $6 Starbucks mocha that we can’t live without even though we know we could save $180 a month if we cast it off. Food, shopping, gambling, drugs are all anchors that can grow into serious addictions.
If you’re thinking about breaking free, remember that it’s a process. I’ve been unhappy with my daily Happy Hour for over a year now, and am finally done with it. I’m tired of wrestling with my conscience!
Breaking free doesn’t happen overnight. Usually, it’s a slow accumulation of feelings and events that cause us to make a change in our lives.
Here are two tips to help you dig up that anchor…
Make a list of reasons to cast off
In 10 Benefits of Quitting Drinking, I list all the reasons I don’t want to have Happy Hour every day. For instance, drinking every day doesn’t make me feel like I’m glorifying God. It reduces my time and motivation, and makes me feel bad about myself. It’s not healthy or productive. It costs money.
How would your life be different if you weren’t weighed down by your anchor? Making a list of reasons to dig it up can help you stay focused on positive outcomes. If you zero in on the benefits, you’re more likely to stay motivated.
If you can’t ‘fess up to your friends or family about your anchor, then it’s too deeply lodged in your life. If you’re embarrassed or ashamed of your anchor, then it’s more of a problem than you want to admit.
Do you want to cast off? Talk to somebody about your struggle. Be accountable. Swallow your pride, and be vulnerable with someone you trust. Share what your anchor is and why you want to get free. Ask that person to check in with you every day or two.
You’re welcome to share your anchor in the comments section below. I can’t give advice, but sometimes it feels good just to write about your struggles.
Blessings and blossoms,
New Blog Posts on Blossom
Maybe one of these articles will help you cast your anchors off!
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- What Is – and Isn’t – Normal in Your Period Cycle
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- 10 Benefits of Quitting Drinking
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Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back offers hope, encouragement, and strength for women walking through loss. My Blossom Tips are fresh and practical - they stem from my own experiences with a schizophrenic mother, foster homes, a devastating family estrangement, and infertility.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets (and Practical Tips!) for Healing Your Heart is filled with comforting and healthy breakup advice. The Blossom Tips will help you loosen unhealthy attachments to the past, seal your heart with peace, and move forward with joy.
When You Miss Him Like Crazy: 25 Lessons to Move You From Broken to Blossoming After a Breakup will help you refocus your life, re-create yourself, and start living fully again! Your spirit will rise and you'll blossom into who you were created to be.