How to Join Google Plus – Get Your Invitation Here


If you want to join Google Plus, I’d be happy to invite you. G+ is easier and more fun than Facebook, and more interactive than Twitter. Why not see for yourself?

Just tell me a joke or funny one-liner in the comments section below, and I’ll send you an invitation. If you have nothing funny to share, then just say hello!

Don’t forget to include your email address (but you don’t have to put your email in the comments section, where it’s public — just put it in the top part, where it’s private).





That’s how I’ll send your Google Plus invitation…..I’m not collecting email addresses and you’re not joining an email list. What you see is what you get: a Google+ invitation!

And, here’s an article called How to Use Google Plus on ReadWriteWeb.com. I’m brand new to Google Plus – just jumped on the bandwagon yesterday – so I’m definitely no expert. Just a curious user!

Come join me on Google Plus πŸ™‚ You can find me at Laurie PK – Quips and Tips.






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347 thoughts on “How to Join Google Plus – Get Your Invitation Here

  • Abhishek Garg

    In an African Safari,A LION suddenly bounced on Santa’s wife.
    WIFE-Shoot him! Shoot him!
    SANTA-Yes Yes.I’m changing d battery of my camera..

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    Since you no longer need an “official” invitation to join Google Plus, I am no longer giving invitations.

    G+ is now totally open — you don’t need to be invited. Just Google “Google Plus” and you can sign up for your own G+ account.

    So I won’t be responding to further requests for invitations…see you on G Plus….

  • John Muraski

    Mahmud Ahmadinejad and Ali Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani (current and former conservative presidents) are in an airplane over Tehran.

    Ahmadinejad says, “I am going to throw down $100, and let 10 Iranian citizens get them and pray for me.”

    Rafsanjani, who is richer by far, replies, “I am going to throw out $1,000, and let 100 citizens pray for me.”

    Provoked by the bravado of both men, the pilot mumbles, “I am going to throw both of you out, and let 70 million Iranians pray for me.”

  • Sally Anne Lewis

    True story

    Four year old Australian with a rugby fan father. Dad says, “You’re gonna be a Wallaby when you grow up, aren’t you, son?”

    Little lad tells his grandfather, “Grandpa, when I grow up, I’m going to be a Wobbly.”

    Sal

  • Steffani

    My daughter was hungry for a bedtime snack the other day and upon receiving a slice of bologna, asked, “Is bologna healthy for you?” “Not really,” I told her. “But does it have vitamin seed?” Knowing that she soaks up everything she hears on television, I said, “I think you mean Vitamin C!”

    I think I’ll jump on the bandwagon and go ahead and request an invite, please?! Thank you.

  • James

    Hiya,

    had a good giggle as I scrolled down the page to comment, some awesome jokes in there. Thanks in advance for the invite, here are my offerings:

    Crime in multi-story carparks, wrong on so many levels.

    Two elephants and a rattlesnake walk off a cliff, bah dum tshhh.

    Λ™Λ™Λ™ΚŽΙqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq Δ± ǝɯıʇ Κ‡sɐl ǝΙ₯Κ‡ sΔ± sΔ±Ι₯Κ‡

  • Karim

    Hi Laurie,

    Here’s a joke:

    A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he can do business.

    As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise he noticed that there were no pockets. He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, “Didn’t you tell me you were a banker?”

    The young man answered, “Yes, I did.”

    To this the tailor said, “Who ever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets?”

    Thanks!!

  • Tony

    Id love an invite!

    and heres my bit haha.

    I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, “The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day,
    7 days a week.”

    He responded, “Is that Eastern or Pacific time?”

  • Barbara

    Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

    Please invite me! πŸ™‚

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    This is a fun blog post – thanks for your one liners and jokes! πŸ™‚

    You’ve all been invited to join Google Plus…hope to see you there!

  • Rosemary Wycherley

    I have spent the last half hour laughing out loud. This is the best use of the web. And your Q&T are the best. Please invite me onto Google+.

    If lawyers are disbarred, should electricians be delighted, magicians disillusioned, Dunkin Donuts disenfranchised and salesmen decommissioned?

    Love your work. Keep it coming.

  • Chris

    Hi Laurie,

    An older gentleman and his young girlfriend go into a jewelry store. The man says, “I want to buy a diamond ring for my girlfriend.” The jeweler pulls out a nice sized ring from behind the counter. Her eyes light up. The jeweler says, “This is a very nice ring for $5500.” The old man responds, “I was looking for something even nicer.” The jeweler pulls out a huge diamond ring. “This one is $50,000.” The old man nods and says “I’ll take it!” The girl’s eyes REALLY light up. The jeweler says, “And how will you be paying for that sir?” The old man replies, “I’ll be paying by check…now I know you have to make sure it is good, so I will leave it with you over the weekend and pick up the ring on Monday when it clears. “Fine!” says the jeweler. Monday comes and the jeweler calls the old man. “I’m sorry, but the check came back with insufficient funds.” “Oh I know”, the old man says, “…but let me tell you about my fantastic weekend!”

    Please invite me!

  • Louis

    Hi, would you please send me an invite ?

    Tried to think of a joke, but no cigar πŸ™‚

    Here is some truth though :

    Living in China for a while, arrived in Saigon, Vietnam day before yesterday for holiday.

    On day one : Almost died in the Cu Chi Tunnels !

    On day two : Almost perished trying to cross the road in front of my hotel, in the middle of about a sudden 4 000 scooters !!

    On day three : Who knows, that’s tomorrow … to be continued !!!

    Hey, I tried heheh πŸ™‚

  • Scott

    Okay, I’m probably way too late for the Google+ party, but I’ll leave a joke anyway. Hope you enjoy it!

    Scott

    Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.

    After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.

    A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, “What was the problem?”

    “The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,” explained the Flight Attendant, “and it took us a while to find a new pilot.”

  • alan crawford

    Hi Laurie,

    Great idea to offer G+ invites. I found this from your Quips and Tips for Successful Writers page and just have to give it a go.

    A snail went into a bar and asked for a drink. The barman said “NO” threw him out.

    Two weeks later the snail came back and said “What did you do that for?”

  • CJ Ryan

    Just to keep the joke ball rolling, this is an oddball tale, but amusing for you as a free extra…

    The head waiter at a upscale restaurant spots a very large man in a crumpled suit walk in. The head waiter greets the large man and says to him, “I’m sorry sir, but we have a strict dress code and you must wear a tie when dining here.”
    The large man mumbles something under his breath, turns around and goes back outside to his car. The head waiter returns to his duties.
    A few minutes later, the large man enters the restaurant again. The head waiter approaches him again and sees that the big man has a set of jumper cables tied around his neck resembling a tie. When the waiter inquires about the jumper cables, the large man apologizes and states that he doesn’t have a proper tie to wear.
    The waiter considers the situation and the large size of the business man as to his own smaller stature. The waiter decides to serve the businessman.
    “Sir”, says the waiter. “You may dine here, but I must ask that you don’t start anything!”

  • CJ Ryan

    Very nice of you to offer free Google Plus invites to us. I don’t like facebook but had to join to keep up with relatives and friends. I’d rather have Google Plus and invite them in to something better.
    So here’s my joke to share in exchange:

    What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker?
    My pop’s bigger than your pop…

  • jack

    hello! if you truly exist and i’m not in fact signing up for a horrible, anti-laptop virus… i’d love an invite too… if you’re still sending them out? hello…? fingers crossed, hoping that you exist… nice site, by the way.

  • lyte

    A policeman spotted a jay walker and decided to challenge him, β€˜Why are you trying to cross here when there’s a zebra crossing only 20 metres away?’

    β€˜Well,’ replied the jay walker, β€˜I hope it’s having better luck than me.’

    Please invite me.. Thanks!

  • John Winson

    A doctor says to his patient, β€œI have bad news and worse news”.

    β€œOh dear, what’s the bad news?” asks the patient.

    The doctor replies, β€œYou only have 24 hours to live.”

    β€œThat’s terrible”, said the patient. β€œHow can the news possibly be worse?”

    The doctor replies, β€œI’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday.”

    I know its old joke, but still funny. Thanks in advance for sending me invitation.

  • Leigh Smith (@smittysbusiness)

    Thanks for the reply about my Google+ invite … email address is attached … joke? Ok, but I’ll apologize now … :o)

    Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says “Dam!”

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    Hello all,

    You’ve been invited to join Google Plus! Even the US Marine (I’m a Canadian pacifist πŸ™‚ ) – I hope to see you on G+….

  • coco

    Hey ive been waiting to get an invite for a month now. hopefully this works. Iam a US Marine getting ready to go to Japan. Semper Fi

  • Brent Longborough

    Hi Laurie,
    I’m sorry, all my jokes are old, like me, but please, please help me get free from the Facebook vampire by sending me an invite to G+ (if you have any left)!!!

    Bless you for that…
    Brent

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    Hi Arlo ~ I sent you another Google invitation, just now. I must have missed you the first time, sorry about that!

  • Merilou Athens-Barnekow

    Don’t have a joke, but want to say that you have an awesome, very useful site. I would love an invite to join Google+. Thanks.

  • Azka

    A girl phoned me the other day and said, “Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home.

    Not the funniest, i know. But i’d really like an invite πŸ˜€

  • Denilson

    Hi. nice photos, especially close to his face. I would like to receive an invitation from Google Plus. Thank you.
    Denilson(Rio de Janeiro-BRAZIL)

  • Vincent

    Hello Laurie,
    So nice of you to offer invites, if you still have some left i’d love one, I’ve got to try this G+.
    Thanks again!
    V.

  • Chelsea

    A man runs to the doctor and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to help me. My wife thinks she’s a chicken!” The doctor asks, “How long has she had this condition?” “Two years,” says the man. “Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?” asked the shrink. The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, “We needed the eggs.”

  • Arlo Henley

    As the lady patiently awaits her speeding ticket, she decides to try a bit of feminine prowess. She smiles and says to the cop “I thought they didn’t give tickets to pretty young girls.” The cop says “We don’t Ma’am… sign here.”

  • Alwyn

    Please send me an invite! I’ve been trying to get one for 3 months now!

    Why did the Mustard lose the race?…..Because he couldn’t Ketchup!

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    You should all have received your Google plus invitation by now…have fun with it! I know I am πŸ™‚

  • Cecile A.

    With the financial crisis of the U.S. makes me think I should hide my money underneath my matress, but running out of space so I am considering getting a public storage…hehehe. Invite me to Google plus! Thanks

  • Cecile A.

    With the financial crisis of the U.S. makes me think I should hid my money underneath my matress, but running out of space so I am considering getting a public storage…hehehe. Invite me to Google plus! Thanks πŸ™‚

  • ashwin

    dad – what would you like 4 ur bday , son ?
    son – nothing much dad , just a radio with a sports car around it.

    would really love a google+ invite .

    thanks in advance

  • Kristian

    Hi Laurie,

    Would like invitation to Google+ please please!!

    Please add me on kristianslamet@hotmail.com

    How do you put a bear in a fridge? – open the fridge door, put the bear in, close the door.

    How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? – open the door, *take the bear out, put the giraffe in, close the door.

    How do bears feel? – not sure, but at least one of them is cold because it just came out of the fridge.

  • Giovanni

    I read a really funny joke a couple of days ago:

    Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here. :))

    Thank you, Laurie!

  • Gard Molvig

    Hello Laurie!
    If you still have some invitations, I would appreciate one – if possible.
    Hello from Gard in Norway πŸ™‚

  • kishan

    hey heres the joke how much hardware engineers require to solve a software problem:none as it is a software problem hahahaha!!!
    please i had love to get an invitation

    thanks:}

  • Michel Poirier

    Hello from quebec Canada.

    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day

  • Jefferson

    Hy,
    Hello..

    You know what one tomato said to the other, once crossing the street?
    Look the car!! – smashed –
    Which car??!! – smashed –

    πŸ™

  • Andy

    can you send me an invite for Google Plus please?
    alchemistdoctor@gmail.com

    i sppose i have to put some funny one liners for trade

    1.Traffic light: Apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches.

    2.People: Some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what’s happened.

    3.Opera: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings.

    4.Salesman: Man with ability to convince wife she’d look fat in mink.

  • Anna Smith

    Trade: Google Plus invite for a couple of one-liners, please! πŸ™‚

    Out of Mind. Back in five minutes.

    Time is supposed to keep everything from happening at once — it’s not working.

    You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

    This isn’t denial. I’m just very selective about which reality I accept.

    This isn’t hell. This is where you get sent when you’ve been bad in hell.

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    Where are my jokes or funny one-liners?

    All right, y’all should have received your Google Plus invitations by now…unless they got lost in the mail… πŸ™‚

  • iAmMelNoelle

    I don’t have any funny or cheesy jokes but I’ve been curious about Google+ and what it’s about! πŸ˜‰ Hope I’m not too late for an invite πŸ™‚

  • Doug

    Please invite.

    What’s the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
    Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    Thanks for your corny, cute jokes – I appreciate it! πŸ™‚

    You should all have received your Google Plus invitation by now…

  • Vickie

    It’s corny but how many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? Whoops sorry none as that is a hardware problem

    Thanks for the invite

  • Jay Bradley

    I would love an invite to Google+

    Here is your joke:

    Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?

    She kept throwing away the W’s!

  • Danielle

    I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, “Dude, you have to wait.” -Mitch Hedberg

    Thanks so much for your generosity, and asking little in return!

  • Landon Wood

    Hi Laurie,

    You still up for an invite? πŸ™‚

    Here is a joke:

    Q:What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
    A: thats Nacho cheese

    Enjoyed the site btw!

  • Lacy Rountree

    Hi!! I would love to get google plus and talk to you about it! Also I love blogging and pinterest if you want to follow either! Also have a lot of jokes! Let’s me friends πŸ™‚ thanks for all you do! Blessings

  • Bronwyn

    Hi Laurie!
    Thanks for the great presentation yesterday – very informative and gave me lots to think about!

    Can I please get an invite to g+ (bronwyn.logan@gmail.com)?!

    Thanks πŸ™‚
    -Bronwyn

  • Philip Beckwith

    Hi Laurie,

    Love the blog. My funny for today is;

    There are only three types of people in the world; Those who can count, and those who can’t!

    Please may I have an invite to g+

    Thanks in advance

    Philip

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    Jonathan, I couldn’t tell if you were being sarcastic or not…so I sent you one anyway.

    Everyone else, you’ve been invited to join Google Plus…up, up, and away! πŸ™‚

    Newcomers: if you tell “dirty” or offensive jokes, I can’t approve the comment or invite you to join G+. My mama won’t let me.

  • Jonathan

    Please, Oh God, please send me an invite. I’ve been a Google kiss a$$ since the turn of the century and all I want to do is use their services. Thank you.

  • Malysa

    Hi Laurie,

    Thanks for the offer for the invite. It sounds interesting. My email is above as requested. Sorry, I can’t think of any funny jokes at the moment.

    ~Malysa

  • Patrick

    Hello! Can I have an invite to Google+ please?

    I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

    Thanks!

  • kristynmarie23

    Hey here is my joke.
    Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, “What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.” “I don’t need to outrun the bear,” the first guy says. “I just need to outrun you.”
    I hope you enjoy it and pleaseee invite me. (:

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    Done! You’re all invited to join G+….I wish I could send a special invitation to peeps who post jokes, one-liners, or quips. πŸ™‚

  • Chris LeFort

    I don’t have a joke, but I do have a nice quote.

    — We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. – Buddha —

  • Jaws1000

    Hey here is my joke.
    Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.”
    I hope you enjoy it and PLEASE send me an invite.

  • Van Duong

    Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road?
    A: Because it was stapled to the chicken!

    If you read the Dark Tower series by Stephen King, you’d know that.

  • mknights

    Here is my humor in exchange for an invite…I hope.

    Laurie Pawlik-Keinlin,
    May call you a Google+ friend.
    So I’m hoping this limerick,
    is a clever enough gimmick,
    And land me an invite in the end.

    Have a wonderful day.

  • ted butler

    Was looking around at Writing sites and stumbled on yours.
    BTW don’t by a drink for the road, the road is already laid out. πŸ˜‰
    Look forward to seeing you on Google+ (appreciate if you’d invite me!)
    Thanks in advance.

    TB

  • darko martincic

    Well, if you still invite people,…
    Thanks in advance.
    And a joke (sorry for broken english):
    Father asks his son: “What do you want for birthday?”
    -“A ping-pong ball, please.”
    Father is a little confused but ok, he won’t spend any money.
    Next year the same, and another, and so on…
    One day kid gets hit by a bus in front of his house and father runs and asks him why he wanted only ping-pong balls for birthdays.
    -“Because…” and kid dies.

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    Welcome to Google Plus – you should all receive your invitations any moment now.

    Thanks, Gop, for coming back to thank me. That was super nice πŸ™‚

  • Linley

    Hi from a G+ wannabee
    – a riddle:
    which word changes both it’s meaning and pronunciation when it’s first letter is capitalised?

    A: polish
    A great way on driving traffic to your site!

    all the best

  • Bill

    Hello,

    Funny Joke:

    A man placed an ad in the classifieds…

    “wife Wanted”

    The next day he received several letters they all said the same thing..

    “You can have mine!”

    Thanks for an invite if you still have them!
    Bill.

  • Nicolle

    Hello! I would love an invite if you have any left. I am surprised I didnt get the option myself. I have 12 accounts for various shopping/personal/school/teaching accounts and not ONE was given google+ Im sad πŸ™ lol

    I am horrible with jokes πŸ™

  • Bobby

    Hello there… A joke for you…

    A duck walks into a bar and asks the barman: “Got any Bread?”

    Barman says: “No.”

    Duck says: “Got any bread?”

    Barman says: “No.”

    Duck says: “Got any bread?”

    Barman says: “No, we have no bread.”

    Duck says: “Got any bread?”

    Barman says: “No, we haven’t got any ******** bread.”

    Duck says: “Got any bread?”

    Barman says: “No, are you deaf?! We haven’t got any ******* bread, ask me again and I’ll nail your ******* beak to the bar you irritating ******* of a ******* bird!”

    Duck says: “Got any nails?”

    Barman says: “No”

    Duck says: “Got any bread?
    __________________

    Hope that made you laugh if not…

    What’s red and smells like blue paint?

    Red paint!

    Lame right lol

    Hope you invite me soon.

  • Shubham Mittal

    “STORY OF LOVE AT SECOND SIGHT”

    A GIRL FELL IN LOVE WITH A BOY AT SECOND SIGHT, B’COZ
    .
    .
    .
    .
    At 1st sight SHE DON’T KNEW THAT HE HAS….. AUDI Q7.. πŸ˜‰

  • Shannon

    Q: if you’re riding down the street and your bike gets a flat tire, how many pancakes does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?
    A: none, cuz popcorn doesn’t grow on rocks.

  • bill ahlers

    I’m sorry that I don’t have anything funny or witty to say, but I have become much more matter of fact as I’ve gotten older. I would love an invite, so when you find the time, please add me. I appreciate the help.

  • Brey

    Hi Laurie, can you send me invitation to join:( we’re all so desperate to join Google Plus lol, why must that be because Facebook has gotten boring:D Hoping to connect with you in Google Plus:)

  • Robert

    Hi I honestly found this website about google plus.

    I would really appreciate a google plus invite, Thanks.

    A funny joke:
    There are really good commedians out there that don’t swear. But inserting the f-word can change your meaning of a sentence.
    Example: I wouldn’t say he is crazy ; he is just a kid.
    F-word injected: I wouldn’t say he is crazy ; he is just fucking a kid.

  • Diana

    Hi Laurie!

    I saw your post on Suite101 about Google+ invites–it’s awesome that you’re willing to do this for us poor kids left out in the rain so far! πŸ™‚

    If you have one to spare (I really don’t know the invite system) it’d be great to finally experience Google+ instead of just hearing all these enticing juicy bits from others. Thanks!

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    You’ve all been invited to Google Plus. Thanks to those who made jokes – I really like that πŸ™‚

  • Brad

    Why is Facebook a great site for loners?
    Because it’s the only place where they can talk to a wall and not be considered an loser!
    I’m sorry… that was my attempt at Social Network humor πŸ˜›
    thebradhotline@hotmail.com
    I’d really like an invite and be rid of my evil nemesis… Facebook πŸ™‚

  • Melvyn

    I would like an invite!

    Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

  • Hardik

    Pls send me the invitation
    the joke is here—–
    A housefly sits on a porrridge
    A sardar sees it
    n says.this isnt the thing u r thinking to b!!!!!!!!

  • Bob

    What does an insomnic, dyslexic, agnostic do?

    Lays awake at night and wonders if there really is a dog

    if an invites available much thanks

  • beiden

    I’m so sad about not having a Google+ invite (yet) that I can’t possibly think of anything funny. I checked Twitter for jokes but all my Tweeps have melted in DC’s heat wave. However, the Capital Weather Gang cane through for me:

    You know it’s hot when:

    * You see a bird using a potholder to pull a worm out of the ground.
    * Farmers are feeding crushed ice to their chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
    * Electric bills for A/C are more than the house payment.
    * You’ve canceled your Hotmail account because you didn’t like the name

    I am sure my humor will return with a Google+ invite! Thanks!

  • freieschaf

    Hey, would be nice to have an invitation from you πŸ™‚

    Here, a quote by August Stringberg, whose words I found yesterday on a very central street of Stockholm:

    “Society is madhouse whose wardens are the officials and the police.”

    Thanks.

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    Thanks for making me smile – what a great way to start the day!

    You’ve all been sent a Google Plus invitation. Enjoy yourselves.

  • harley

    I was in a wrestling match and the other guy got me in a head lock and wrote his name on my forehead. It was his signature move

  • Susu Publishing

    A joke for a google+ invite you say? Ok here goes (get ready cuz its cheezy)

    A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink.

    Bartender: We don’t serve vegetables here!

    Mushroom: Ah come on! I’m a fungi.

    I know – I will sit myself in the corner and think about what I just wrote πŸ™‚

  • Renato

    A millionaire has a collection of alligators living in his swimming pool. He has a beautiful 20-year old daughter, still not married. One day he invites some friends and announces:
    My friends, I have a suggestion for all present young men still single: I will give my daughter as a wife for that man who is able to cross my pool swimming and reach the other side save and well.
    Next moment a big splash can be heard, and everyone watches a young man swimming fast like Tarzan crossing a river to save Jane. In the lucky end he reaches the other side without being bitten by the alligators. The millionaire says:
    Fantastic! I never thought that some-one would achieve this. But I will keep my promise of course. Do You know my daughter?
    The young man answers:
    Oh, let it be! I am already married. But I would just like to know who was that funny guy who pushed me into the pool!

    Hope it was good enough to get invited!? πŸ˜€

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    ha ha – that’s really funny, Betelgeuse! πŸ™‚

    You all should have received your Google Plus invitation by now…

  • Mehdi

    RE: I forgot to tell you sthing funny !

    Actually I don’t have any quotes but I can say from all the underneath of my heart THANK YOU πŸ˜€

  • Karen Lange

    I’m trying to think of something witty but am drawing a blank, so a hello, if you don’t mind, will have to do. πŸ™‚ Thanks for the link to the article.

    Have a great week!

  • TL Stone

    Small update: Managed to use the invite by copying the join link, logging out of my Google Apps account, logging into a GMail account, then pasting link into browser.

    Just thought I’d mention that in case anyone else made the same mistake and received an invite at an account that didn’t have access to Google Profiles. πŸ™‚

    Sorry, no joke to add.

  • Crystal R. Martin

    Hey I’m already on Google+ but would like a networking add. πŸ˜‰ My funny for you…

    A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.

    Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony,
    he cuts a photo in half and mails it.

    The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the
    bottom half of the photo. He’s really worried but then
    remembers how bad his grandmother’s eyesight is,
    and hopes she won’t notice.

    A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his Grandmother.
    It says: “Thank you for the picture. Change your hairstyle… it makes your nose look too short.” Love, Grandma

  • TL Stone

    Hi Laurie,

    Thanks for the invite, unfortunately I didn’t know that Google Profiles (which you need to have in order to access Google +) is not available for Google Apps users (people who use their own domain address for their GMail). So word to the wise: Use an @gmail.com address to request the invite or it won’t work. πŸ™

    Sorry to waste an invite. *sigh*

  • Gabrielle

    What a great idea! Some of your subscribers/fans, Laurie, are hilarious…

    Here’s my joke:

    So this rope walked into a bar and took a seat on a stool. The bartender came over and said, “Hi there. Can I get you a drink?”

    The rope replied, “No, I’m a frayed knot.”

    Thank you for my Google + invite.

  • UPPAL

    Hi Laurie,my email is published along with my comment though I wrote it on the top.And also the first k is small not capital as shown by mistake.Pl.do something if need be.Thanks.

  • UPPAL

    Kssidhump@hotmail.com
    Hi Laurie,your new picture is awesome and reflects your charm.You look young and mischievous in a loving way.Congrats for the choice.

    Please send me an invite for google plus facility.I’m late because of poor internet connectivity.
    My one liner:
    Thread said to the needle,”Where is your eye,dear?”

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    I’ve invited you all…enjoy the Google Plus ride!

    And thanks for the one liners and jokes — so great to have a laugh as I send out the invitations πŸ™‚

  • Fiona Ingram

    Little Johnny’s father is reading him a Bible story. He says, “And the Lord told Lot to take his wife and flee from the city (of Sodom). Lot told her not to look back. But Lot’s wife disobeyed. She looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt.”
    Johnny looks worried. “So what happeend to the flea, dad?”

  • Helen David

    I already have Google+, so feel free to add me. I’m looking to connect with other writers.
    Just subbed to your blog yesterday, so I’ve been reading. And at 1:45 AM a joke escapes me at the moment. I’m doing good to type correctly! I’m usually typing gibberish by now. πŸ™‚

  • Ayesha Usman

    We had recently bought a pair of peacocks and my brother was then 4.5 years old wanted to show them off to some guests who were visiting us. Look we have two peacocks, he said. One of them is a male and the other one is an email:)

  • Louis

    Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine by the campfire, they retire for the evening, and go to sleep.

    Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

    β€œWatson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

    β€œI see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

    β€œAnd what do you deduce from that?”

    Watson ponders for a minute. β€œWell,

    Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

    Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

    Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

    Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

    Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.

    But what does it tell you, Holmes?”

    Holmes is silent for a moment.

    β€œWatson, you moron!” he says. β€œSomeone has stolen our tent!”

  • Breanna

    Hi! I’d love an invite if you still have them available…

    And a joke: What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.

    Thank you!

  • mario andrΓ©s

    here’s my one liner

    “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.”

    Please send me an invite! =)

  • Vidya Sury

    Hey, Laurie – I came over just to read the funnies posted by the others – and I have one for you, too:

    Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.

    After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a ‘Gripe Sheet’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
    The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.
    Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas’ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

    By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident and is rated one among the top 10 safest airlines.

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That’s what friction locks are for.

    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you’re right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny… (I love this one!)
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    And the best one for last..
    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.

    By the way, love your new picture! Cheers!

  • Kevin

    Hello! I’d love an invite πŸ™‚ thanks! I don’t really know what the google+ project is but I’d love to try it out!
    Thanks πŸ™‚

  • TL Stone

    Hmm, well it’s not original, but I did see this on Twitter today:

    The difference between a writer and a mental patient is that one carries a notebook. πŸ˜‰

    I certainly need more ways to procrastinate and Google + sounds like a good one. πŸ˜€

  • Chris

    What did the tree say to the lumberjack? “I’m Stumped”

    or

    Why should you not ask Chris to tell you a joke? Because he doesn’t know how to tell good jokes! ha!

    Please invite techtwins *at* gmail

  • Ginette

    Forgot to leave you something funny – it’s not a joke, and while I’m amused, you may not be. I thought my reaction to getting grey hair was typical – “Well, there it is.” But you should have seen my reaction the first time I looked down on my arm to see I’d actually lost a grey hair. That’s a whole ‘nuther sphere of omg. πŸ˜‰

    (Got my invite within minutes of you sending! Thank you. /cheers )

  • June Price

    I’ve kicked and screamed and dragged my feet about Googoe+ but, yeah, okay, I can’t stand being on the outside looking in. Add me, please, if you have any invites left. No really good jokes today, but here’s an oldie: “Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.”
    Rodney Dangerfield

  • Siobhan

    Do you have any invites left, or am I too late? Here’s a Star Wars joke just in case (stolen from a fb buddy)

    How is duct tape like The Force?

    It has a dark side and a light side, and it holds the universe together!

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    I’ve invited you all…check your Spam accounts….if you haven’t received the invitation by tomorrow, let me know. I don’t know how long it takes!

  • Elaine

    Hi Laurie,

    I’d love that google + invite. My email address was attached with this comment.

    Here’s the joke:

    How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. That’s a hardware problem.

  • Jennifer Wagaman

    I’d love an invite too!

    Something funny… my 3 year old now asks me for something and when I give permission, she asks me why – a funny twist on the “why” phase that always makes me laugh!

  • Chrissie

    Saw your invite on Suite. I am already on google +, but can leave my favorite riddle:

    When do you go on red and stop on green? …. (drum roll) …. When you’re eating a watermelon!

    Feel free to add me on google+ – I’m going to start making a Suite circle.

  • frufruJ

    Hi,

    I do admit that I found this website via this post, but I find it very useful! Thanks!

    OK. To the point. I hope you still have invites left, because I’ve been dying to get g+.

    *clears throat*

    Q: How many critics does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Critics don’t know how, but rest assured they’ll find something wrong with the way you do it.

    email is (my nick) (at) gmail.com. Thank you in advance!

  • Ginette

    Just found you via #amwriting (google+ invite is nice bait πŸ˜‰ ). Amazing amount of content here – this is going to take a while.