Feel like a failure as a writer, blogger, or freelancer? You’re not alone. Use these tips for failing and bouncing back as a writer to help you overcome rejection, criticism, and hard knocks.
I’m driven to write this because I’ve recently received criticisms on both this website and Quips and Tips for Couples Coping With Infertility. Criticisms aren’t necessarily failures per se…but they sure sting! And sometimes they take a long time to heal.
Here’s what the American President says about failure and bouncing back:
“Making your mark on the world is hard,” says Barack Obama. “If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it’s not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. it’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.”
If you’re struggling with feelings of failure as a writer or blogger and need inspiration, read Great Failures of the Extremely Successful.
And, read on for my tips on failing and bouncing back…
How to Fail and Bounce Back as a Writer, Blogger, or Freelancer
Remember the dog-and-vomit analogy. I recently read There Is a Season by Patrick Lane, about his journey through addiction and recovery. He said thinking about terrible things in the past is like a dog returning to his own vomit (or something to that effect). I love this analogy, and use it when I trudge down the path of self-criticism. Instead of beating myself up, I tell myself that I’m not a dog and I refuse to go back to my own vomit…and I then think “Eeewwww…” and I move on! This is a practical, effective way to stop feeling like a writing failure.
Calculate your success-to-failure ratio. Of the hundreds (perhaps thousands) of comments I’ve received on my Quips and Tips blogs, only two were critical and mean-spirited. I actually wish I received more helpful criticism and feedback – because a writer doesn’t learn much from compliments! When you feel like a failure as a writer or blogger, figure out your own success-to-failure ratio. You may be failing a lot less than you think…and if you find you’re failing too much, then you have something to work with, something you can improve on. This knowledge valuable to your career as a writer.
Go where you are loved. The beauty of the internet is that you can visit bloggers and writers at all hours of the day or night. To rebuild confidence as a writer or blogger, spend time on sites that make you feel good about yourself. If you’ve helped people on forums or blogs, go there. If you’ve connected with a certain blogger or writer, surf his or her website. Reconnect — not just online, but in person with your friends and family.
Revisit your successes. A surefire way to bounce back after criticism is to bask in the glory of the compliments you’ve received, the successes you’ve celebrated, and the progress you’ve made! Remembering what you did right and well can motivate you to keep forging ahead.
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“My will shall shape the future,” says consultant and coach Elaine Maxwell. “Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man’s doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny.”
Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back offers hope, encouragement, and strength for women walking through loss. My Blossom Tips are fresh and practical - they stem from my own experiences with a schizophrenic mother, foster homes, a devastating family estrangement, and infertility.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets (and Practical Tips!) for Healing Your Heart is filled with comforting and healthy breakup advice. The Blossom Tips will help you loosen unhealthy attachments to the past, seal your heart with peace, and move forward with joy.
When You Miss Him Like Crazy: 25 Lessons to Move You From Broken to Blossoming After a Breakup will help you refocus your life, re-create yourself, and start living fully again! Your spirit will rise and you'll blossom into who you were created to be.
Have you received criticism as a blogger or felt like a failure as a writer? I welcome your stories – and tips for bouncing back – below…