If everything is normal and you can’t get pregnant – you get your period every month – your feelings may range from disappointment to fear. Here’s what to do when you’ve tried everything but you can’t get pregnant.
I assume you’ve already tried Restoring Fertility by Dr Brandon Horn and Dr Wendy Yu, since you searched for “everything is normal and I can’t get pregnant.” If you haven’t tried fertility yoga, then I encourage you to think about it. It can’t hurt, that’s for sure.
Have you had your partner tested for male fertility problems? Problems getting pregnant are about 35% due to male infertility. If you’ve tried everything to get pregnant except get a sperm test, then it may be time for your partner to see a urologist.
“I’ve seen the doctor, and he has told me that I should not be having any problems getting pregnant,” says a reader on Why Can’t I Get Pregnant? Reasons for Not Conceiving a Baby. “I am 23 and my husband is 24 we are both healthy and at a very healthy weight.”
Below are a few things to do if you’re in the same boat. My husband and I just got back from a 12 hour road trip to Alberta. To pass the time and learn new things, we listen to books on tape. Two of the books we listened to were The Secret and Think and Grow Rich — and they both focus on how vitally important our mindsets are to getting what we want out of life. Think and Grow Rich isn’t just about financial wealth — it’s about achieving any goal in your life.
So when you say you’ve tried everything to get pregnant…have you also explored your psychological and emotional states? Part of conceiving a baby is being emotionally healthy and ready.
Here are a few possible “next steps” for couples who want a baby, are healthy and “normal” according to a doctor, and who just can’t seem to conceive.
Need marriage help? Get FREE relationship advice from Marriage Coach Mort Fertel.
What to Do When You Tried Everything to Get Pregnant
“My husband and I have been trying to conceive now for nine months,” says my reader. “I have low thyroid but it is corrected by the doctor,” says my reader. “We don’t smoke, or drink. I have a regular cycle of 28 days. I ovulate on day 14. We baby dance a lot around the time of ovulation when I am not on duty for the military. I am getting a little frustrated when Aunt Flo shows up every month. We did an at home sperm count test, and it came back positive for 20 million or over. I have read A Pregnancy Miracle and it doesn’t seem to be working for us.”
Know how long it takes to get pregnant
Some couples get pregnant just by looking at each other. In fact, one of my friends is pregnant with her fourth (or fifth?) child – and she and her husband were using birth control! But, for most couples, it takes a year on average to get pregnant. That means twelve months of tracking your temperature or ovulation cycle, doing the “baby dance” when you’re ovulating, coping with stress, not smoking or drinking, and making sure your hormones are nice and regular.
Learn all you can about your own body
The two women who most recently commented on Why Can’t I Get Pregnant? both mention thyroid issues. Here’s what the second reader said:
“My husband and I have been married for almost 11 years and we have tried everything to get pregnant. I have thyroid problems for about 6 years and it is under control now, since then I been having a normal cycles of 29 days.”
Could thyroid medication affect hormones or ovulation? I don’t know – that’s something that each woman has to discuss with her doctor. But, I do know that certain medications affect the chances of getting pregnant. It’s worthwhile to get a second opinion. Don’t just trust one doctor, especially when he or she says there’s nothing wrong with you!
Here’s another article that may help: Unexplained Infertility – 6 Steps When You’re Not Conceiving a Baby.
Explore your family’s medical history
According to the doctors, my husband and I can’t have children naturally because of sperm issues. We discovered that my mother-in-law also had fertility issues – and so did some of her other children (but she ended up having six kids!). So, part of “trying everything to get pregnant” is talking to both sets of family members. Infertility, miscarriages, and difficult pregnancies can run in the family – and the more you know about your (and your partner’s) medical history, the better equipped you’ll be.
Talk to a naturopathic physician
I met a naturopathic doctor this last weekend, at writer’s conference. She said that Western medicine often diagnoses health problems such as azoospermia (no sperm) but doesn’t explore natural methods of healing. She said she sees it all the time: someone diagnosed with a health issue that “can’t be cured” or “requires X medication” – but it can be treated naturally. I know it’s expensive to talk to a naturopath, and natural treatments for infertility can add up….but if you really want to say you tried everything possible to get pregnant, then you should add this step to your list!
We tried acupuncture for fertility. It didn’t work for us, but it does help some couples who say they tried everything to get pregnant.
Focus on what you want to create in your life
“Three months ago I started to use testing strips for ovulation and my husband got mad at me, telling me I should just wait for it to normally happen,” says my reader. “So I stopped. He’s been taking testosterone shots for five months now, every 3 weeks. Now I’m at the point that I don’t know what to do. We don’t have the money to see a fertility specialist and we really would love to have children.”
I know how heartbreaking it is to want a baby, to try everything to get pregnant and not succeed! But the more stressed we get about it, the more problems we create for ourselves. Our mindsets and attitudes significantly affect our bodies…so we need to focus on what we want to create in our lives. Don’t ruminate on thoughts like “I tried everything to get pregnant, I’ll never get pregnant, we can’t afford to see a fertility doctor, we have no more options.”
Instead, figure out what you want. Write it down. Look at it three times a day. Shoo those negative, stressful thoughts out of your brain…and focus on what you want to create in your life.
That’s what I learned from both The Secret and Think and Grow Rich. The beauty of focusing on what you want to create is that it makes you feel happy, positive, optimistic, and joyful. That’s much better than feeling scared, frustrated, sad, and disappointed.
If you’re feeling hopeless and depressed, read Hope for Women Who Want to Get Pregnant.
Want to Blossom into who God created you to be?
Have you tried everything you can think of to get pregnant? Instead of focusing on that, start thinking about what you haven’t tried.