How to Be Positive When It’s Taking a Long Time to Get Pregnant

You’ve been trying to conceive for months or even years – and it feels like forever. How do you cope when it’s taking too long to get pregnant? First, know that you are not alone. The most surprising thing about even thinking about not getting pregnant and possible infertility is how hard it is for many people. One study from Harvard Medical School found that women with infertility had levels of emotional distress equal to patients with cancer or heart disease. 

Infertility is particularly difficult for women. Women tend to invest a much larger part of themselves into creating a family. When you’re denied that opportunity, you’re shut off from a large part of the female community. Your friends move on with their lives. You feel as if you’re sitting on the sidelines watching families and life. But you aren’t sitting alone – I wrote this article for a reader who is struggling to deal with how long it’s taking her to conceive a baby.

“I’m almost 21, and my fiancé and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost 2.5 years,” says Shannon on Why Can’t You Get Pregnant? “We’ve both been checked to see if everything is in working order, and it is. It’s frustrating! I’m at the point of giving up trying to get pregnant, but I don’t. I guess I just need a little guidance, to maybe hear other people’s suggestions so we can have a lil one of our own.”

My husband and I stopped trying to get pregnant because it’s not medically possible for us to conceive a baby as a couple (my husband has azoospermia, which means his body doesn’t produce sperm. A woman can’t get pregnant without sperm!). We tried to get pregnant for over a year. When we felt like it was taking too long, we took fertility tests to find the problem. It was shocking to discover that male infertility was the problem but it was also good to know the cause of our inability to conceive. Azoospermia isn’t good news, but at least we knew why it was taking so long to get pregnant.

Do you think male infertility may be an issue for you? Read What to Do When Your Husband Has Azoospermia.

I don’t know what you’ve already tried (ovulation predictor kits? losing weight? fertility yoga? in vitro fertilization?). So I’ll list a few different tips for making a baby. It’s good to remember to get specific, personal medical advice on getting pregnant. Your body is unique, and your reasons for not conceiving need to be specifically addressed.

6 Ways to Stay Positive When You’re Not Getting Pregnant

You won’t find exact answers about why it’s taking so long to get pregnant online. It’s also often difficult and confusing to find specific answers in person, too. Even gynecologists and fertility doctors don’t always know why some women don’t conceive immediately. It’s not always a discernible health issue, such as azoospermia in men or endometriosis in women. Some couples simply take a long time to conceive. 

Also, remember that your husband may be feeling frustrated and disappointed, too. “Men get depressed about infertility, too,” says Jason on How to Overcome Depression When You Can’t Get Pregnant. “My wife and I are having a hard time getting pregnant, and we’re not getting any younger. Both of us were in our 30′s when we married. So, the clock is ticking.” He says that his heartache that it’s taking so long to get pregnant comes and goes in waves. “I’m grieving the loss of never being able to participate in the creation of life,” he says. “I’m grieving the loss of passing on the family name…I am the only son of six children. I’m grieving the loss of many, many things that comes with bringing your own biological children into this world.”

1. Prepare to accept that some fertility issues are hard (or impossible) to detect

Fertility doctors and general practitioners make mistakes, overlook possible reasons it’s taking so long to get pregnant, and fail to see the obvious. Doctors, like us, have brains that can only hold so much information and they only have so much time to learn about all the new pregnancy and fertility research. Further, they’re affected by their own lives, health, and problems. This is why it’s so important to get a second opinion, and to get multiple health tests done!

2. Expect your health to change fairly quickly

A individual’s health changes daily, weekly, and monthly. A woman’s monthly cycle means her body is changing by the hour. Even a man’s health changes often. His body is always creating new sperm; this means he could get tested and have low sperm count and quality one month. A month or two later his sperm health may be strong and reliable. Different results in different months is normal for both mean and women. So, don’t hesitate to get a second fertility test done a few months after your first one or two.

3. Give your body time to rest

Give your body the rest, care and compassion it needs. You might even consider taking time off – especially if you’ve been trying to get pregnant for a long time. I’m not saying “just relax – you’ll get pregnant when you’re ready” because some of us have felt ready for years! But continuing to purse a difficult goal can be hard on our bodies, minds, and spirits. I encourage you to redirect your energy towards something different for at least three months. Give yourself a rest. Get involved in a project, class, volunteer commitment, home renovation task – anything that you’re interested in, that makes you happy. Round out your interests. Explore other aspects of life. Try to just BE without wanting a baby or trying to conceive.

4. Learn about fertility, conception, and pregnancy

Taking Too Long to Get Pregnant

This is a purposefully contradictory tip from the previous suggestion for coping when it’s taking too long to get pregnant. Some women meticulously research infertility and problems conceiving, while others just keep trying to conceive without information. It’s important to balance the two perspectives. It’s also good to remember that different women have different issues when trying to conceive: obesity, endometriosis, prescription medications, smoking, health problems.

The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant by Jean M. Twenge Ph.D. is a good resource on how to get pregnant – especially if you’re tired of being disappointed by negative pregnancy tests every month.

If you haven’t had a gynecological examination lately, book one today. If your husband hasn’t had his sperm tested in the past three months, get it tested now. Different women need different baby making tips, which is why it’s so hard when readers ask me for help! All I can do is offer textbook advice, not personal medical tips.

5. Spend time with women who are happy without children (being “happily childless” is possible!)

“Another reason it’s so heart aching is because it seems that everyone around us who doesn’t want a kid is getting pregnant,” says Shannin. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them, but I’m just frustrated that it’s taking so long to get pregnant.”

If you find it frustrating and sad to be around families, stop spending so much time with them. Even if they’re your relatives or best friends, give yourself permission to honor your feelings and responses to women with children. You may feel immature or even petty, but you are allowed to choose who to spend time with based on how you feel when you’re with them. It’s healthy to identify and set your boundaries, and not have to defend them.

6. Remember the one thing worse than taking a long time to get pregnant

The only thing worse than taking a long time to get pregnant is living in perpetual bitterness, defeat, pain, and heartbreak because you can’t accept reality. Don’t allow yourself to get lost in the negativity, disappointment, and self-pity that infertility can bring.

It may be taking a long time to get pregnant but this doesn’t mean you’ll never conceive a baby! Chances are you will eventually get pregnant naturally or with fertility treatments. If you’re open to having a children who aren’t related to you biologically, you can always adopt or foster kids. You might even consider volunteering with children or working with kids who never got the parents they deserved. They know how it feels to yearn for the family they never had.

6 Ways to Cope When It’s Taking Too Long to Get Pregnant

Are you tracking your ovulation? It’s one of the most important things you can do when you’re trying to conceive. The Combo Pack Ovulation Tests and Pregnancy Tests will help you know when you’re ovulating so you can increase the odds of conception. It’s both handy and optimistic that this combo pack comes with a pregnancy test. 🙂

If you’ve already tried the ovulation predictor kits and you still don’t know why you’re not getting pregnant, a book like Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program for Maximum Fertility will help. It covers many different scenarios and offers different solutions, and has received over 75 positive reviews on

Another other option, of course, is to get tested by a gynecologist, urologist (for men), and a fertility doctor. Make sure your partner has his sperm tested as well. If it’s taking too long to get pregnant, it could be your guy’s sperm that are slow or even nonexistent (like my husband’s!).

You may also find How to Stop Feeling Hopeless When You’re TTC helpful.


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54 thoughts on “How to Be Positive When It’s Taking a Long Time to Get Pregnant”

  1. Laurie, thanks for these ideas on coping when it’s taking a long time to get pregnant. It took me and my husband seven years to give up trying. Our infertility was irreversible and I hate it. I would like to see more articles about being sensitive to couples who are infertile.

    Infertility is above all a medical condition. Treat it like any other medical condition. Be sensitive to women who can’t conceive. Just as you would not brag about your fabulous health to someone struggling with depression or mobility issues, you shouldn’t go into great detail about how easy it was to conceive your children to someone who has been through five failed IUI’s.

    My beef isn’t with you. It’s with people who think it takes a long time to get pregnant, and then they get pregnant and live happily ever after. I don’t know I guess I’m just jaded and upset today.

    I was here once, trying to cope when it was taking too long to get pregnant. Now that I’m on the side of infertility, an infertile woman, I find it much harder. I WISH I was still hopeful and trying to conceive! It’s harder now. I find very little sympathy or understanding for the infertile. As time passes I find that people often expect you to get over it while you may still be mourning. As we’ve gone through our sad infertility journey I find myself less and less open about the subject.

    Thanks for letting me vent. I’ve been stuck in the house for a week and am not doing well. it helps to be here and write it all down.


  2. Ruth, my prayer for you is that you get pregnant within the next six months! May you learn different baby making tips, and may you be an inspiration for other woman when it’s taking too long for them to get pregnant.

  3. Thank you for these tips for women who are struggling bc it is taking too long to get pregnant. I am a woman like that, my husband and I have been trying to conceive baby for six months. I know we need to keep trying because it takes a year for most couples, but I am getting impatient. I will read the book you suggest, bc you can never have too much information.

  4. Is it taking too long to get pregnant because you’re under too much stress? Research from Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center found that women who have trouble getting pregnant may be under too much stress. According to these researchers, women who had the highest levels of stress actually took 29 percent longer to get pregnant compared to other women, and their risk of infertility doubled. Researchers tracked 501 American women ages 18 to 40 years who were free from known fertility problems and had just started trying to conceive, and followed them for 12 months or until they became pregnant.

    “This is now the second study in which we have demonstrated that women with high levels of the stress biomarker salivary alpha-amylase have a lower probability of becoming pregnant, compared to women with low levels of this biomarker. For the first time, we’ve shown that this effect is potentially clinically meaningful, as it’s associated with a greater than two-fold increased risk of infertility among these women,” said Lynch, the principal investigator of the LIFE Study’s psychological stress protocol.

    The full study is called Preconception Stress Associated With Increased Risk of Infertility, and here’s the link.

  5. Does spirituality or faith in God help you cope? It took me a long time to accept that I’ll never get pregnant, and it helps to have faith that my life is in His hands.

  6. Dear Lisa,

    It sounds like you’ve been through so much in your attempts to get pregnant! I have a fibroid, too, and the fertility doctor wanted me to have surgery to get rid of it. I refused because I didn’t want to go through in vitro fertilization. If I’m going to get pregnant, it’ll be naturally! I want kids, but not bad enough to try fertility treatments. I admire and respect couples who try IUI and IVF!

    But, even though I’m fine with not having kids, I do wonder why some teens get pregnant without wanting to. Other women get pregnant at the drop of a hat. It’s not fair! I would’ve loved a baby, and there are millions of women who get pregnant without intending to.

    Anyway, thank you for sharing your experience with trying to get pregnant. I wish you all the best. If you have any questions or want to share your thoughts, feel free! I did try IUI for six months, but it didn’t take. Maybe that’s why I’m not keen on IVF.


  7. I have been trying to get pregnant since the end of 2011. By April 2012 I experienced a severe pain for months. It was hard to walk or bend over, sex was painful and my stomach was big all of a sudden. I looked 4months pregnant.

    By August I had an ultrasound and they found a big fibroid. Had surgery and they also found endometriosis and the fibroid was fused to my badder. After that a few periods were normal but then I started spotting a week before AF each month. I always had seemingly regular periods and try the ovulation test sticks and they come out positive but no baby.

    My periods are weird now and I always feel slight “crampy” in the two weeks leading up to my next period. Called the Gyno but they don’t even seem concerned. I requested hormone testing to see if there was a problem there-Nope. So they want me to try six months if nothing happens then I go back to the fertility specialist. I intend to do IUI, IVF if necessary. I’m 35 and it is so depressing to see people who don’t want kids getting pregnant, and people I know who don’t take care of their other children and pop out another. I hate baby showers and baby birthday parties and all the questions as to why I don’t have any children and people telling me that I won’t ever be able to have any. I try not to think about it each month but I am reminded with questions every month “ARE YOU PREGNANT YET”

  8. Dear 5Angels,

    Thank you for sharing your struggles with getting pregnant – you sure have been through a lot!

    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, that it does not take longer to get pregnant and that you receive a blessing of two more baby miracles.


  9. I have had 5 mc, and have 2 georgous girls 6 & 4, I have been trying for 3 years to conveive, been doing a lot of research, something that has worked for me very quickly within the few days of ovulation is taking 1 borroca tablet a day for 1-2 weeks after last day of period, and I have conceived straight away, not sure if this is safe as my last pregnancy Oct last year was a blightom ovum and l MC, but tried this method again in late Jan and I am 5 weeks pregnant, worked straight away. I ovulate end of third week after 1st day of last period. I am not giving up I am 36years old. Hoping I can at least have 2 more health miracles.

  10. Dear Nikki,

    Thank you for your words of hope for women who are trying to get pregnant. Spirituality is important to me, and I think it has made it easier for me to accept the way our baby making journey turned out.

  11. GOD IS REAL!!! IM A witness please don’t loose hope I have 1 son who is 21 years old I got pregnant at 13 yrs old I KNOW I was a baby having a baby but life happens ? However 4 years later I met my Husband sent from God we are truly in love my soul mate when we met Iwas 18 he was 21 at the time we were very young and intimate regulary but I never, never got pregnant . I didnt think to much about it because we’re still young and enjoying each other but when 3 yrs turned into 5 years then 10 years I knew then we needed some help from a Doctor but my husband refused to go he kept saying God will give us a baby I believe God would and could but thought I know he works through doctors my husband still didn’t want to go 🙁 and he’s that man that loves people especially kids and he had none of his own ???? many days I would pray cry and pray again people also at church would pray I would also often have dreams of my baby with my husband whom I love but only to wake up to reality , my period was very regular I never missed however However Dream in particular God spoke to me and said There’s a secret one is SPENDING TIME In GOD Presence and The other one that really stood out because I knew the first one but the second secret is GOD TIMES AND SEASONS ARE STRATEGIC…THAT was about 6-7 years ago …After a while when nothing happen I pretty much kinda let it go I kept hoping but didn’t talk about it much ..But I would often ponder in my heart and tell The Father God I love young matter if I had a baby or not and began to be thankful for what I had… EVERYBODY even when you think your prayers are not heard and forget all the tears you cried God remembers you!!!! I cried leaving baby showers and bought baby outfits by faith over 8-10 years ago God remembered ME Even when close family members had kids and abortions and didn’t want them I’m pleading to Save A Life God remembered and More than that When I doubted Him He Our Father God through His son Jesus is Faithful to me and you!!!!!
    My grandmother passed in 2011at 93 years old for over 12 years she wanted me to have a baby before she
    died….. a year later yes 2012 in the same month as me and my husband anniversary Oct 2012 10 days later 17 years together I was in total shock no fertilization, no nothing bBut Gods Grace I’m pregnant and my first due date was my birthday WOW WHAT A MIGHTY GOD !!!! IN JESUS NAME BY FAITH I PRAY AS SURE AS YOU READ THIS HE WILL DO THE SAME FOR YOU TRUST IN HIS WORD NOT THE DOCTORS BUT GODS WORD IT WILL NOT FAIL I PROMISE IT’S SO MANY WOMEN IN THE BIBLE THAT COULD NOT CONCEIVE AND GOD OPEN HERE WOMB PLEASE READ AND ACCEPT JESUS IN YOUR LIFE AND BELIEVE AND HE WILL DO THE MIRACLES HE PROMISED be Patient and wait on The Lord He shall strengthen your heart wait He says !!! JEREMIAH 29:11

  12. Thank you, Ivy girl – I love how hopeful and positive you are about getting pregnant, even though it’s been 7 years of trying! Some couples try for 3 months and get disappointed (like us – we thought we’d get pregnant right away).

    I hope other women are inspired by your hope and faith that it WILL happen for you…and for them.

  13. Hello everyone! I am on the same boat but been trying for 7 years and still have not given up hope! We’re both healthy but not sure what the reason is, I use to have irregular periods but I’ve known people who have a period once or twice a year and still have kids. I’m very sad but not going to stress myself because it doesn’t help my process. I did a lot of research on web and can only suggest that you guys have sex every two days after your period, that’s what my Dr told me, I feel like its getting closer and try not o stress so much even though its really hard. Don’t kill yourself as I seen some posts, it took my uncle and some friends I know ten years also so don’t lose faith and o the things you’ve been wanting to, go on a vacation, travel, something you want to do to ease your mind and when you forget and lose hope I feel that’s when it happens. Things happen when it’s unplanned and it seems pregnancy is that to. I wish you all luck and do some research also as much as you want and try looking up Feng shui for fertility, you never know what helps or not and it doesn’t hurt to try. I’m trying Feng shui now and I feel more at peace and it helps if you research about it. I slept directly under a ceiling fan and learned from Feng shui that it is bad because he energy gets cut and energy it can not connect to your body, sound Crüe if you think about it. Don’t have anything under your bed because the energy can not flow under…it seems complicated but worth a try, there’s a reason it exists for hundreds of years for Feng shui users. Good luck all and try anything you think will help!

  14. Couples may have more options when it’s taking too long to get pregnant, but no money. Fertility treatments are so expensive (unless you live in a province where they’re free, like Quebec).

    Money aside, I didn’t want to put my body through the drugs and manipulation that in vitro fertilization requires. I wanted to get pregnant naturally, but never wanted kids bad enough to go to the extremes. I know alot of women are grateful for fertility treatments, and I’m glad they had that option! But treatments don’t work for everyone.

  15. I have enjoyed reading your post and the comments, too. This post offers a trove of great tips and information for couples who are trying to get pregnant. Thanks to IVF and other fertility treatments, couples now have more options.

  16. HI, LUURIE


  17. I too had a hard time getting pregnant my first time. I was 22 and tried for 2 years. I went to the Doctor to make sure both mine and my husbands health were good and if we were infertile. We were fertile. I found Pregnancy Miracle and became pregnant with 2 months.

  18. Dear Bronwy,

    I don’t know what else to tell you…it sounds like you’ve done everything right! You’ve gone to the doctor and gotten checked out, which is always the most important first step.

    Why was your first baby a miracle? If you haven’t had your period in years, then I understand that getting pregnant is a miracle…were you not getting your period when you got pregnant the first time?

    If you haven’t seen a naturopathic doctor, that might be a good next step. Sometimes alternative or complementary medicine can offer things that a traditional gynecologist can’t. It might be worth a try, if you can afford it!

  19. Dear Lebo,

    It’s one of the most disappointing thing in a woman’s life, to not get pregnant. It’s crushing and heartbreaking, and the pain never really goes away. It fades, but the disappointment always there.

    We who can’t get pregnant have to find ways to live with the pain. It’s awful and I hate it, but sometimes there’s just nothing we can do.

    I don’t know what medicine or drugs can help you get pregnant, and I’m sorry you feel so desperate about conceiving.

    What advice does your doctor give you? Have you talked to a naturopathic physician or gotten a second opinion from a gynecologist?

  20. Dear Steve,

    I hope you’ll be a dad one day! Have you and your wife gone to a doctor? That’s the most important step you can take if it’s taking too long to get pregnant. A fertility test can help determine what’s going on, and a gynecologist might be able to treat or stop the pain your wife feels during sex.

    The frustration of not getting pregnant can take a huge toll on a marriage. It’s important for you and your wife to start joining together, instead of tearing each other down by fighting. I know this is easier said than done! Sometimes books can help spouses reconnect; other times counseling is the best option.

    I hope this helps a little. Let me know what the doctor says about you and wife getting pregnant!

  21. Dear Jewel,

    You’ve been trying for so long to get pregnant, and you’ve been disappointed every month. It sounds like you feel like there’s nothing to live for, if you can’t have a baby.

    My heart breaks for you, because I can’t have children either. I’ve made peace with it, and with a childless life. Making peace with and accepting that I can’t have babies doesn’t mean I’m happy all the time, or that I never feel depressed or sad that I can’t get pregnant.

    My ex-boss and her husband are coming over for dinner tonight. She’s 4 months pregnant, and it took her 2 years to conceive. I have to admit that it made me really sad to hear that she’s finally pregnant! I was happy for her, of course, but so sad for me and my husband.

    You’re not alone, Jewel. And there is more to you as a woman than having children. Yes, it’s a huge and important part of life…but it’s not the only thing women can do! Yes, having children must be an incredible experience…but sometimes we have to roll with the hand life deals out.

    How long have you been keeping this in, not telling people how you feel about the fact that it’s taking too long for you to get pregnant? If you could trust one person to talk to, who would it be?

  22. what i want most in this world is a child, to hold and cherish. My heart is broken. I have been trying for what feels like a century. I promised myself if i do not have a baby by december 04 of 2012 i will kill myself. Its so close… I have only weeks.what good am i as a woman if i cant do the one thng a woman should be able to do? And i cant tell anyone my problem.. im so alone

  23. My wife had 2 children previously with someone else both were C-Section babies. Then had an I.U.D. put in after the second child. 3 years later, my wife and I meet an elope. She then removes her I.U.D., We then married and have been trying to get pregnant but its no use. After every time we have sex she has pains where her scar is on her lower abdomen. we fight now more then ever and I am so lost and confused. we both are 26, i.m healthy active and a member of the local YMCA, she seems healthy not overweight but has an addiction to spicy foods like myself. 🙂 Please any feedback could help me, or at least give me hope.
    Hopefully Future Dad


  25. Ive been trying to get pregnant for 5years now and been on clomids for a year now and nothing seems to work. please help im so desperate,sometimes i think o commiting suicide.What can i use for the last time,something stronger than clomids.

  26. hi im 25 years old been with my fiancee for 7 years we have a 6 year old been trying for our second baby for 4 years havent had my monthlys in years and im a larger lady been checked im all good n my fiancee been checked all good too im so depressed when people tell me my little girl is my miricale child n wont have anymore cause i dont get my period been seeing gynocologist for a year n still not helping any advice would be muchlyv appreciated

  27. I’m a 21 yr.old woman. Me and my boyfriend have been trying to have a baby for 2.5 yrs now and nothing has happened yet. It really frustrates me because I had a baby at 16 and me and my child’s father were only having sex for a couple months and I got pregnant with no problem and i wasn’t really trying or thinking of having a baby then. Now I’m trying and want to have another baby it just seems impossible I just don’t know what to do anymore we both are starting to lose hope of ever having our own child together.

  28. Hi my name is amanda and me and my fiance has been trying for two months and still no luck what are we doing wrong we both been checked out and we both are fine what are we doing wrong. we both want a baby so bad. Love Amanda

    HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

  29. It took my husband & I 5years & when all hope was gone I found I was 6 weeks pregnant with my now almost 5 year old daughter!:) she was def worth the wait!!!!!! So when u least expect it you’ll be surprised!:)

  30. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 10 months now. I’ve had my fertility checked and because I was really stressed at work earlier on in the year I wasn’t ovulating every month but my most recent tests show that I have been ovulating over the past 5 months. Although there was one test that came back indicating that I have a low egg count and my doctor told me I only have 5 years of good fertility left which is now putting even more pressure on things to hurry up and happen. My husband has been tested and he has over the average sperm count and his sperm are very active and all swim in the right direction. I’ve been taking elevit, vitamin C and fish oil tablets. I eat heaps of green veg and lean meat. I’m only 27 and I’m not over or under weight. My husband is 31, in his healthy weight range and is taking menevit, fish oil and vitamin C. It makes things so much harder when my sister in law, who got married in June (4 months ago), who smokes, eats crap and drinks more than me fell pregnant 6 weeks after their wedding (she’s 12 weeks along now). Don’t get me wrong, they’re lovely and I’m happy for them but it seems so unfair. My mum fell pregnant as soon as she tried for my sister and me and my sister is older than me and fell pregnant 2 weeks after her wedding. I come from the same gene pool for goodness sake! And now everywhere I turn there are either babies or pregnant women! Why is life being such a bitch? Anyway, that’s my vent. Thanks for reading.

  31. i am 23 n my husband is 29 we are trying to have baby for last two years n i face a miscrge last 3 mnths ago now we are trying again…but all in vain 🙁 what should i do.. i am soo depressed .. plz help me…what should i do??

  32. Just writing as an update and to sympathise with everyone on here. I was a week late this week we got our hopes up stupidly and of course my period came 1 day before my holiday another downer. I’m just starting to give up hope and it doesn’t help with friends getting pregnant at the drop of a hat. Without even trying my friend conceived twin girls she smokes, drinks and is having a perfectly healthy pregnancy. I really wish her well but it’s totally unfair. I’m sorry for my negativity I suppose I’m just trying to vent a tad because it’s putting a strain on me and my husband his face was so disappointed when I told him. I’ve tried everything, I’ve been exercising eating healthy I don’t drink or smoke, I’ve even had my husband exercising. I think my next course of action is the GP’s in which I’m dreading because they are terrible. They are judgemental and horrible I suppose I’m going to have to do my research and see who’s specialised in this. It will be 12 months of trying this October I just thought last month I had such I relaxed mind about it all I didn’t even do the ovulation tests not to stress myself out. It’s just one of them things I think I’m going to try and keep positive and keep relaxed hopefully. I feel kind of vented out now after my little moan but I really do sympathise with all you other ladies and gents out there trying as well.

  33. hi my name is erielrose from phil. here in negros im 23 now me and my husband are trying to make a baby. with in 5 years. it is very sad and finally i have a baby boy now with the help of my nieghbor she told me to get tangan2x leaves and put with my stomach to releave the prolem inside i dont know what it is and she massage my ovary to going up. thank GOD

  34. Hi there, iv been getting my period on a regular basis…. No irregularities what so ever. I want to fall pregnant, but im not conceiving 🙁


  35. I am 33 years old and I have been trying to get pregnant for over 3 years. It is the most frustrating thing ever. I have been to the fertility clinic twice everthing checked out with me and my husband. I have always had regular periods. I dont understand. I always get classified as unexplained fertility. By all means doctors dont understand why im not concieving. I work at a day care so it seems like everyone around me is pregnant without trying. Everytime I get my period I bust in to tears. I feel so defeated. How is something that is supposed to be natural be so hard.

  36. Hey so I may not be a woman but I have been trying to get someone, anyone pregnate for 12 years now. I was forced to grow up at 11 and have my first full time job and pay for my own place. I’ve always been tired of being all alone, its just plain lonley.
    So yea I have. Been trying to get multiple women pregnate for 12 years now. Any woman who would agree, ages from 16 (when I was 14 to 17 I was ok for it not when I hit 18 though) to 50. All different type of body sizes, race, children/no children. And so far not a single one became pregnate from me, not even a miscarrage or possive on a preg stick. So far all but my most recent and current partner are the only ones who have NOT become pregnate/ had a child. My current was at one point over a year ago and sadly had to abort(I don’t want to hear anything about how aborting is evil or ect.) Now if I have lived like this, always trying to have a little one and have had absolutly no luck in any form whatsoever what can I do? I am in that very emotional depressive state that I’m sure all men/women get when they are in a similar situation such as mine. I don’t have family to back me upor make me feel better. I feel like a fish on a hook and the fisherman is just letting me dangle there laughing at me. Any help with both my mental status that is going downhill slowly but surely and getting my girlfriend pregnate? Its been 8 months of trying with no luck.

    As an fyi about myself I am a little chunky, not super healthy/unhealthy.
    I don’t eat good but not horriable.
    And I. Have hershprungs disease.
    I might have the disease spelled wrong but u are born with it and mainly affects you as a child. They had to cut out part of my colon so I could just use the bathroom. I really don’t think that would effect my reproductive organs though. Just please anyone, help.

  37. Hey my name is candy and when I turn 16 me and my boyfriend was trying for a baby but it never happen for us we tried for 2 years until I was 18 finally we broke up for other reason and I got with another Guy and we started trying for 5 months now no luck am 19 now I wondering if o could ever have kids help

  38. In God everything is possible.25 march at hospital dr cut my last cute coz of etopic.God gave me another preg again I’m 12 weeks pregn God is good .pray if you need a child God is going to answer you

  39. I am 23 yrs old my boyfriend is 48 yrs old. We have been tryin to have a baby more than a year now but no progress. We never uses condoms an I do want to give him a child before he reaches andropause. He told me not to worry but I am stressed over this situation. I need advice from a few good ppl here.

  40. I am 26 I have a 9 year old from my previous partner. I have been with my husband for 6 years he has 5 kids from a previous relationship. We have been trying for 3 years to get pregnant. Does him having high blood pressure have anything to do with us not getting pregnant? He is 32.

  41. Robert lee womack jr

    You know what i know…… if you hace faith in god. And you pray, and pray, and pray. And if he see that you really want a baby. And that you are really ready. God wiil help you. Maybe the reason it taking so long. Because he probably dont your ready. Remember having a baby is big step in life. So when see that you can make that big step. He will make that blessing for you. Trust. God said try him. And no what how long it takes. You gotta keep faith,keep praying, trust in him, and believe he will do it. No book, doctors, no pill. Is greater then that work of god.

  42. Dear Steph,

    My friend was overweight when she got pregnant, and her doctor helped her avoid gestational diabetes (that’s not a condition you want to get when you’re pregnant!).

    I think of doctors as people who help get you as healthy as possible before you get pregnant, and keep you as healthy as possible after you get pregnant. Sure, they can nag and lecture about stuff we already know — but they can also give baby making tips we haven’t heard of yet.

    I honestly think going to the doctor is your best course of action. If you don’t like your doctor, then go see another one. Be honest with your doctor, and expect him or her to give you honest feedback about why it’s taking so long for you to get pregnant.

    A doctor’s diagnosis and help isn’t supposed to scare you, it’s supposed to help you live a better, happier, healthier life!

    And, if there is some reason you can’t get pregnant, a doctor can identify it. The sooner you figure out if there is a problem, the sooner you can fix it – and the sooner you can get pregnant.

    I hope this helps, and wish you all the best as you try to conceive.


  43. Me and my husband already have a 3 and a half year old son. We both conceived him together at 17 we didn’t even have to think about it we were having unprotected sex for 7months, yeh i know we were silly but at the time it didn’t matter. I had an awful pregnancy and even developed pre eclampsia so i was in no rush to get pregnant again so we waited till we got married and we were settled as a happy family. So now i am 21 and my husband is nearly 22 we have been trying for our second child since October 2011 and nothing has happened it has started to come between us at times. I know we are young but i wanted my children young so i can enjoy them growing up. I had tests because of heavy periods earlier in the year and everything was clear on the scans. But i was immensely criticised for my weight, i know I’m over weight but i always focus healthy i don’t drink smoke or take drugs i eat healthy and i exercise regularly the weight just never seems to come off its so frustrating. I even invested on a fertility monitor and the 1st month i didn’t ovulate. Then last month i ovulated on day 17 of my normally 28 day cycle, then I was 4 days late so we got our hopes up but my period came as usual and our hopes were crushed again. So we still haven’t managed to do it we are terrified to go doctors because i know they will blame it on my weight even though i am healthy and probably make me feel worst. It’s really pushing and hurting both of us has anyone got any tips on how to cope or how to deal with the doctors.

  44. Hi im a man my age is 36 my ex partner and i had a child who is now 16.. I was young and stupid we didnt gt on so i missed him growing up…… Now im with my wife 2b, we’re 2b married next year in June we’ve been trying for a baby for about 2yrs and im so frustrated and its starting 2get me dwn i feel depressed that i cnt give my lady a baby, she has a beautiful little girl who calls me dad and i love 2bits but if we could have a baby it would bond our children.
    Each time my fiance takes a test it hurts, its got to the point where i know its going to be negative, It hurts but i feel like giving up and stop all this frustration and hurt.
    Kind regards Levi.

  45. I’m a 24 year old women me and my partner together now for 7 years n we’ve been trying to get pregnant now or the last 3 years, its so frustrating and I’m really starting to loose hope in myself,sometimes when I get my period I just breakdown and cry cause I’m so dissapointed I’m myslf there are times I feel lyk giving up on life and I feel so depress and on top of it all I don’t if my partner is going to stay with me for long… When I see other babies and my nieces and cousins I feel so sad cause I also want a little one running around the house like they are doing…. I just hope and pray that one day I will become pregnant

  46. hi I am i new member here I need your help
    I am 25 years old I get married 3 monthes ago
    I like to be pregnant
    but 1 montheth and a half ago I mean (Ovulation day 13 of cycle) Dignostic X-ray told me that:
    RT overy: containing two follicles of (14mmx13mm), (12mmx11mm)
    LT overy : containing mutiple small follices of (5mmx7mm)
    Endometrial theckness of 5 mm
    normal uterine body
    No free seen in cul de sar.

    then my doctor told me at secound instumation day i must take 5 days , 2 tabs of Clomid
    after that
    Ovulation day 13 of cycle of this month Doctor of Utrasound and X-ray clinic told me that:
    Uterus in normal in size ans shape
    endometral thekness is (7mm)
    no adenaxal mass or cyst is seen
    both overies are normal in size and shape, with multiple few mm size cyst in both ovaries (PCO)
    now i have every day 2 of metformin tab 1 morning after meal another evening after mile
    my questin here can i get pregnancy????
    with my best regards

  47. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    I remember trying to get pregnant, and thinking it was taking way too long! But now that I know we can’t have kids and I’ve given up all hope of getting pregnant, I remember those days, weeks, and months of trying to get pregnant with fondness. Those were days of hope….so if you’re trying to get pregnant, try to enjoy the anticipation, hope, and excitement! I know how disappointing it is when you get your period, but I also know how exciting it is to think you could possibly be pregnant…

  48. I like all these tips and think they are helpful and sensitive, especially the reminder that you can’t stop living your life while you’re trying for a baby. Something fertility experts always say is that most couples are just impatient – and that usually within 24 months or so, most couples will get pregnant naturally.
    But patience is hard when you know you are ready to start – or add to – your family.

  49. Me and my Partner have been trying for a baby ive been with him for almost five years i have did have 3 children and 1 passed away at 9months. But i had my kids to another man. My partner that im with now he has one son to another person. But me and my partner been trying for four years but nothing has happen. and im 32 now and i dont know whats wrong with me.

  50. Thanks, Martha! I really appreciate your comment.

    The trick is to balance baby making tips with the wisdom to proceed in a different life direction. Maybe it’s not just a matter of “taking too long to get pregnant”…maybe it’s just not in the cards for you. Sad and painful, but it happens to many couples.

  51. Laurie, some fabulous tips here and I especially like one thing worse than taking a long time to get pregnant, never getting pregnant. You are so right on fulfilling your life in other ways. I know of several couples that never gave up on having a child. It took lots of dedication but the majority finally succeeded with it. Keep up the good work and keep posting, you’re a natural.


  52. Thanks for your comment, Jeff! I agree that it’s so important to retain your sense of humor, especially when it’s taking too long to get pregnant.

    Thanks for your link, and I wish you and your wife all the best in making your baby!

  53. My wife and I are IVF patients currently, but sometimes, humor is the best medicine. For a humorous perspective on fertility clinics and my and my wife’s impressions medically assisted conception journey, here’s a link to my YouTube video.