Here are four things to consider if you’re thinking about trying in vitro fertilization (IVF) to get pregnant – especially if you’re reluctant to try IVF because you want to get pregnant naturally. These tips are inspired by The Parable of the Flood – it’s a story that may help you overcome the disappointment of not conceiving a baby naturally. This isn’t a Biblical parable, but it may change how you see fertility treatments such as in vitro fertilization or intrauterine insemination.
Fertility for Beginners: The Fertility Diet and Health Plan to Start Maximizing Your Fertility is a new book by Shasta Press that will teach you the basics of increasing fertility naturally – and you need to know this whether you decide to try IVF to get pregnant or not. You’ll get a primer on the science of fertility, and learn how to chart your body’s fertility cycle. Fertility for Beginners offers useful tips on how to cultivate a healthy lifestyle to increase male and female fertility, including stress management, suggested fertility tests, and natural treatments. You’ll also learn how to nourish your body to improve fertility, including what foods to eat and what foods to avoid.
In addition to getting as healthy as possible so you can increase your fertility, make sure you learn about the benefits and drawbacks of in vitro fertilization (IVF). You need to know what you’re getting into, because IVF is a very expensive process in many different ways.
The Parable of the Flood
A man was trapped in his house during a flood. He prayed to God to rescue him. He had a vision of God’s hand reaching down from heaven and lifting him to safety. The water started to rise in his house. His neighbour urged him to leave and offered him a ride to safety. The man yelled back, “I am waiting for God to save me.” The neighbour drove away.
The man continued to pray. As the water began rising in his house, he had to climb up to the roof. A boat came by with some people heading for safe ground. They yelled at the man to grab a rope, but he refused, saying he was waiting for God to save him.
The man continued to pray, believing he would be saved by God. The flood waters continued to rise. A helicopter flew by and a voice came over a loudspeaker offering to lower a ladder and take him off the roof. The man waved the helicopter away, shouting back that he was waiting for God to save him. The helicopter left. The water flooded over the roof, and the man died.
When he reached heaven and asked, “God, why did you not save me? I believed in you with all my heart. Why did you let me drown?” God replied, “I sent you a pick-up truck, a boat and a helicopter and you refused all of them. What else did you want me to do?”
Should You Try In Vitro Fertilization to Get Pregnant?
If you’re reluctant to try IVF to get pregnant because you’re waiting for God to help you conceive naturally – and you’re praying for a baby with all your heart – think about how the parable of the flood might apply to your life. Are you so focused on one method of getting pregnant that you are blind to other possibilities? I’m not saying all couples coping with infertility should try in vitro fertilization; I just think we need to be open to our options.
Be open to different ways to starting a family
Many women want to conceive and carry a baby – I know I wanted to experience pregnancy! It would’ve been awesome to know what it’s like to get pregnant. I never wanted to know what it’s like to cope with infertility, and I thought long and hard about if I should try in vitro fertilization to get pregnant. I didn’t try it, but I believe it is a possible way for God to bring a family together. My reasons for not trying IVF weren’t moral or ethical; I just didn’t want a baby that badly. But, the parable of the flood shows me that God gives couples babies in different ways. It may not be good to keep waiting and hoping that God helps you conceive a baby naturally, when He might be sending you a different method of getting pregnant.
Expect the unexpected if you decide to try IVF to get pregnant
In the flood parable, the different ways of being rescued from drowning are not guarantees of a long life. The truck could’ve have run out of gas before reaching safety; the helicopter could have crashed into a tree. Similarly, even if you decide you should try in vitro fertilization to get pregnant, you are not guaranteed a baby. Learn the reasons IVF fails, and be realistic about your chances of conceiving and bringing a baby to term.
Rely on your fellow pregnancy seekers
This parable shows us that we need each other to survive. Don’t tackle the infertility journey alone, and don’t expect your spouse to give you all the support you need. Talk to other women who coped with infertility. Talk about if you should try in vitro fertilization to get pregnant with people who are objective, supportive, and who don’t care one way or another if you have a baby. Be careful who you trust with this huge life decision.
Meet God halfway
Nowhere in the Bible did God ever let anyone do anything through prayer alone! Everyone has to take action. We have to use our brains, do our research, trust our guts, and seek God’s guidance when we’re trying to decide if IVF is the best route to get pregnant. Pray about it. Seek His will for your life, and stay connected to Him.
Pray as if everything depends on God. Act as if everything depends on you.
If you’re not sure how to start researching different IVF doctors, read How to Choose a Fertility Clinic.
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I welcome your thoughts on how to decide if you should try in vitro fertilization to get pregnant. I can’t offer advice or counseling, but it might help you to share what you’re going through.