If you want to be pregnant but you’re not, Christmas is the most disappointing time of year. Here are a few emotional, physical, and spiritual tips for surviving the holidays.
One way to cope with not being pregnant at Christmas is to avoid the holiday season altogether. I’ve spent a few Christmases in Mexico and Hawaii, and found that it didn’t seem like Christmas at all (even though there were holiday decorations everywhere).
But, not everyone can afford to take a vacation at Christmas – nor is avoidance necessarily the best way to cope with disappointment over the holidays. Instead of avoiding the pain, it may be better to accept and feel it.
If you’re not pregnant at Christmas, my heart goes out to you. Christmas is for kids and families, and it feels incomplete and even devastating if your hopes and dreams for a baby haven’t been met. These tips won’t erase the pain, but maybe they’ll give you a few ideas for surviving the holidays.
Physical Ways to Survive Not Being Pregnant
These tips include physical activity, massage, and nutrition. Take care of your body and mind at Christmas, and you may not feel as depressed about not being pregnant.
- Get a massage
- Go skating, skiing, or walking in the snow with your favorite person
- Take a hot bubble bath
- Stop eating before you’re full – don’t stuff yourself
- Get enough sleep
- Drink less caffeine
- Keep taking your pre-pregnancy vitamins, supplements, minerals
- Drinks lots of water
- Get a manicure or pedicure
If you’re not pregnant at Christmas, you need to try different ways to overcome depression until you find what works for you.
Creative Ways to Survive a Childless Christmas
What gives you emotional energy and makes you happy? I love taking my dog to the dog park and watching her romp with her friends. This is the only time I’m totally in the moment, not thinking about the holidays, visiting family members, or not being pregnant. It’s always Christmas at the dog park!
- Paint, draw or carve your thoughts and feelings
- Visit a museum or art gallery
- Go to a movie in the middle of the day
- Listen to music that relaxes and/or energizes you
- Go for a drive in the country; stop for hot chocolate and muffins
- Have a glass of wine or eggnog, but don’t overdo it
- Prioritize invitations; don’t feel pressured to accept them all
- Say no to parties that make you sad that you’re not pregnant at Christmas, or make a brief appearance.
- Don’t compare your life (or lack of children) to other people’s lives or families
- Play your favorite card and board games
- Take a crossword puzzle or Sudoku break
- Watch your favorite TV shows or movies
- Share your baking with homebound people or lonely neighbors
I don’t know the best way for you to survive the holiday season when you’re not pregnant. It depends on your personality, interests, lifestyle, and energy level.
For more tips on not being pregnant at Christmas and surviving the holidays Dealing With Depression When You Can’t Get Pregnant.
Emotional Ways to Survive Christmas
Do feel depressed, anxious, frustrated, or angry? How you feel can dictate how you cope. For example, if you feel angry, you may want to scream and punch pillows. If you’re anxious, you may need to try different relaxation techniques to overcome the sadness of not being pregnant at Christmas.
- Write your feelings in a journal
- Practice gratitude – be grateful for what you do have
- Have realistic expectations of yourself, your loved ones, and the holiday season
- Stay in touch with your authentic emotions
- Cry, scream, or punch the pillow when you need to
- Stop to take a deep breath
- Be alone for a few minutes or hours. Center yourself
- Keep old holiday traditions alive, but be open to new ones
- Let yourself grieve if you’ve recently discovered you’re still not pregnant
If you’ve been trying to conceive for a long time, read Taking Too Long to Get Pregnant? 5 Baby Making Tips.
Practical Ways to Overcome Depression
If you’re the hostess for a family Christmas dinner or work party, these tips may help everything go more smoothly. They aren’t centred on not being pregnant at Christmas – they’re more practical and organizational in nature.
- Use lists and calendars to stay organized
- Set attainable decorating and entertaining goals – don’t take on more than you can handle.
- Delegate chores: cooking, childcare, caring for guests, etc.
- Cook the turkey; let guests bring the rest. A Christmas potluck!
- Be flexible with timing, food, and schedules
- Rent funny DVDs and videos to keep family members busy
- Do your Christmas shopping online, to avoid crowds and reminders of not being pregnant
- Make sure prescription medications are filled
- Give yourself extra time to do everything
- Stick to your financial budget
- Avoid impulse buys
- Maintain healthy boundaries with loved ones at Christmas, and learn specific ways to overcome infertility depression.
- Don’t expect people to change (unless you change first)
Taking care of the practical aspects of Christmas can help you stay calm and balanced.
Spiritual Ways to Cope With Not Being Pregnant at Christmas
- Pick your battles and choose your priorities
- Let go of the little stuff
- Take downtime to snooze, read, relax
- Meditate or pray several times a day
- Read the Bible, Torah, or other meaningful book
- Seek the deep meaning behind church or mass services
- Remember that your God, Creator or Higher Power is working behind the scenes
- Adjust your perspective to include peace, compassion, and forgiveness
- Volunteer at a food bank or for a special holiday dinner
- Talk to your friends about your frustrations and joys
These suggestions for overcoming depression at Christmas because you can’t get pregnant won’t work for everyone, but maybe one or two will work for you.
If you think you’ll never get pregnant or have children, read How to be Happy When You Can’t Have Kids.