Coping with life after infertility and accepting the hardship of infertility is difficult — and even heartbreaking. But, some infertile couples find that not having children can open up a whole new life.
“Accept the hardship of infertility,” says Ellen Naylor, who couldn’t get pregnant. “God has other plans for you…so listen…and do!”
It’s been almost 20 years since Ellen and her husband Rodgers accepted a life without children. “Infertility was harder on me, but one of my best moves along the way,” she says, “was reading Christiane Northrup’s book, Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom. It provides a holistic perspective for a woman during her fertile years, and much more.”
If you’re sad and disappointed about not getting pregnant, read Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom (Revised Edition): Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing. And, here’s how the Naylors did more than cope with not getting pregnant – they created new careers, goals, and passions!
Life After Infertility – Accepting the Hardship of Infertility
Ellen Naylor finds a new life passion. “I’m 52, and have had time to look back at our infertility and more readily accept how it affects our lives today,” says Ellen. “I was 41 when we tried in vitro. It was our last effort to get pregnant at the end of our infertility journey, which started when I was 34.
Now I realize that my husband and I were meant to run our own businesses and create. I am developing a new concept called Cooperative Intelligence, which helps a person ‘Listen & Be Heard’ through generous leadership, connection and communication. It took a number of years of focusing on my business, competitive intelligence to birth this concept. This probably wouldn’t have happened if we had a child or children since I would have been focusing more on getting pregnant.”
Rodgers Naylor’s painting career. Ellen explains how her husband developed his career as an artist: “Meanwhile, my husband is a fine artist whose media is oil (G.R. Naylor.com). He is creating his own style of painting and is very focused. I don’t think he would have left his corporate job back in 1998 if we had a child. Now neither of us has a steady paycheck, but we are creating every day, and that’s what we’re meant to be doing. So the message is: accept the hardship of infertility. God has other plans for you: listen and do!”
Ellen mentions the benefits of seeing a fertility psychotherapist: “Niravi Payne helped me focus on getting past the emotional issues of my life, which were wrapped around infertility,” says Ellen. “I had 10 sessions we her over the telephone, and this helped me more than anything else I did. I recommend her highly and she has programs for couples, and a book out since I met her.”
Life after infertility doesn’t have to be dry, barren, or depressing. If you’re part of a couple coping with infertility, try to find ways to love your life and achieve your goals…if you’re not destined to get pregnant and have children, you might as well grab hold of the things that the universe is holding out!