If you’re scared you’ll never get pregnant, you’re not alone! These tips for coping with fertility fears will strengthen and support you as you continue your journey to get pregnant.
So many Quips and Tips readers share their fears here, and most of them aren’t sure exactly what they’re afraid of. That is, they haven’t gotten any fertility tests or see any doctors…they’re just scared they’ll never get pregnant.
That type of fear will get them nowhere fast, which is why these tips are so helpful…
Before the tips, a quip:
“Obstacles are like wild animals. They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can. If they see you are afraid of them… they are liable to spring upon you; but if you look them squarely in the eye, they will slink out of sight.” ~ Orison Swett Marden.
If you don’t know what obstacles you’re facing, you’ll never overcome them. One of the best ways to get over your fear of never getting pregnant is by learning what worked for other women facing the same problems. Books like Waiting for Daisy: A Tale of Two Continents, Three Religions, Five Infertility Doctors, an Oscar, an Atomic Bomb, a Romantic Night, and One Woman’s Quest to Become a Mother by Peggy Orenstein are excellent — and so are infertility blogs and websites.
And, read on for tips on overcoming fear of infertility…
I’m Scared I’ll Never Get Pregnant – Coping With Fertility Fears
1. Learn about the fertility problems you’re facing. Does your partner have a low sperm count, or slow sperm? Are you ovulating every month? Do either of you have other health issues — not related to trying to conceive a baby? How long have you been trying to get pregnant? The first tip for coping with the fear you’ll never get pregnant is to learn what you’re up against.
2. Proceed one step at a time. Don’t let the comments on fertility forums or writers of infertility blogs make you even more scared of never getting pregnant! You need to talk to your own doctors and get your own fertility tests done. Stop imagining the worst, and take it one day at a time. Your first step is to keep trying to get pregnant for a year. If you haven’t gotten pregnant after one year, you need to make an appointment with a doctor. Not necessarily a fertility clinic or treatment center — just a doctor.
3. Talk to your friends and family. Trying to get pregnant isn’t something to be ashamed of, or something to hide. After two years of trying to get pregnant, we finally started telling people that we’re coping with infertility, and were surprised at the support and help that’s out there! Infertility treatments, miscarriages, and difficulties getting pregnant are more common than you think. To cope with fertility fears, let your guard down and be vulnerable with your loved ones.
4. Find the type of support that works for you. I never liked going on fertility forums, and seeing all the different stages women were at in their “trying to get pregnant” journey. Instead, I like to read infertility books, keep updated on fertility research and health information, and learn about ovulation and pregnancy. We never joined an infertility support group, but I always thought we should have!
5. Be open to a different life than you imagined. My husband always pictured himself with a huge family, and has now redefined his life. We’re coping with the idea of a childfree life — and it’s not so bad! It’s not what we would’ve chosen, but it’s definitely not the worst life we could imagine. There are hundreds of ways to redefine your life – and coping with your fertility fears involves letting go of your old expectations and being open to a life you didn’t expect or plan.
What about you — are you scared you’ll never get pregnant? I welcome your comments below…
For fertility tips, read Why Can’t I Get Pregnant? Male and Female Fertility Problems.