When You’re Not Getting Pregnant and You Want a Baby

If you’re not getting pregnant and really want a baby, these tips may help you cope. They’re from Iris Waichler, an author and social worker, and they’ll help you deal with not getting pregnant.

Not Getting PregnantHer book — Riding the Infertility Roller Coaster: A Guide to Educate And Inspire — is really helpful for women who can’t get pregnant. And, here are Iris Waichler’s tips for women who aren’t getting pregnant (or who many not ever be able to get pregnant) couples…

The most important thing you can do when you’re not getting pregnant – besides seeing a gynecologist, urologist, and fertility doctor, is to hold on to hope and faith! To stay hopeful about getting pregnant, read How to Prepare for Pregnancy.

I Really Want a Baby, But I’m Not Getting Pregnant

“I struggled with infertility and eventually got incredibly lucky and had a healthy girl,” says Iris Waichler. “I’m also a social worker. I promised myself that if I did become a parent I would help others struggling with infertility. I volunteered and did workshops, individual, and group counseling – and I wanted to reach more people. So, I wrote Riding the Infertility Roller Coaster.”

Take a break from trying to have a baby

When you want to get pregnant but can’t, babies and pregnancy can become all consuming and enter all aspects of your life. Don’t let that happen! Take a break from trying to get pregnant. Focus on other things in your life that are important (and believe me, getting pregnant isn’t the only way to live a fulfilling life!).

Learn as much as you can about getting pregnant

Are there infertility or difficult pregnancy support groups in your area? If not, join an online forum or support group for getting pregnant. RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association, offers education workshops for a nominal fee. It also offers groups where you can meet and talk with other people who are coping with infertility. This information is invaluable! Talking to people in similar situations can help you feel less isolated and alone when you’re trying to get pregnant and really want a baby.

Allow yourself time to grieve – what if you can’t have a baby?

Not getting pregnant when you really want a baby is a terrible loss. Grieving is a process you need to go through…and you must allow yourself time to do it. It’s okay – and even healthy – to be sad when you can’t get pregnant. Give yourself time to mourn the loss of your hopes, dreams, and plans.

Think about having a non-biological pregnancy or family

not getting pregnant want baby

I Really Want a Baby, But I’m Not Getting Pregnant

If you want to be the parent of a child, there are other options available for getting pregnant and having a baby! Adoption, egg or sperm donors, or surrogate parents can help you create the family of your dreams. It may be wiser and healthier of you to think about different options for having a baby.

Explore your other options for getting pregnant

If you want to have a baby biologically, you may want to consult a fertility specialist. Take the appropriate fertility tests, and figure out why you’re not getting pregnant. There’s nothing worse than wondering why you can’t get pregnant — and even if you’re scared to find out exactly what the problem is, it’s an important step in creating your family.

If you need pregnancy tips, read How to Increase Your Chances of Getting Pregnant.

I welcome your thoughts below on not getting pregnant. I can’t offer advice or counseling, but it may help you to write about your experience.


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2 thoughts on “When You’re Not Getting Pregnant and You Want a Baby”

  1. What did the doctor say when you went to the clinic or hospital, and said that you aren’t getting pregnant, but you really want a baby? The only way to get help is to talk to a gynecologist or fertility doctor in person, and get the necessary tests done.

    Your husband should also go to the doctor. It’s possible that it’s a male fertility issue that is stopping you from getting pregnant.