Having a Baby in Your 40s – The Benefits of Late Motherhood

Having a baby in your 40s equals a longer life, say researchers. The benefits of late motherhood range from financial to physical, and include social and emotional. Some women prefer to have their babies while they’re young, others think waiting until they’ve “experienced life” is better.

There are pros and cons to having babies in any stage of life. If you’re trying to get pregnant and feel hopeless, take this advice from writer Elizabeth Gilbert: “The inability to open up to hope is what blocks trust, and blocked trust is the reason for blighted dreams.”

If you’re coping with infertility – don’t give up hope! Hope for your own pregnancy, hope for a family that may not develop the way you expect or plan, and hope that your dreams will come true. If you’re looking at late motherhood and having a baby in your 40s, let this scientific research give you hope…

What Are the Benefits of Late Motherhood?

According to the University of Utah, women how have babies naturally in the 40s or 50s tend to live longer than other women (it may be different for women coping with infertility and using in vitro fertilization or other solutions for infertility).

“If women in your family give birth at older ages, you may well have a chance of living longer than you would otherwise,” says the study’s lead author, Ken Smith, a professor of family and consumer studies at the University of Utah. “If you have a female relative who had children after age 45, then there may be some genetic benefit in your family that will enhance your longevity.” Heredity – far more than environmental factors – plays a role in prolonged fertility and longer lifespans.

Having a baby after age 45?!

This study shows that women who had “late fertility” – a birth at age 45 or older – were 14 to 17% less likely to die during any year after age 50 than women who did not deliver a child after age 40. Smith says scientists believe genes account for up to 25% of differences in longevity.

Other studies found that late menopause also is associated with women having prolonged fertility and longevity. So the later your menopause is, the longer you may live! And the more chances you have to have a baby in your 40s.

Other Benefits of Late Motherhood

  • Greater financial security
  • Emotional and social stability
  • Greater psychological well-being
  • More stable marriage and other relationships
  • Stable job or career

What do you think of these benefits of late motherhood, or having a baby in your 40s? 

I’d be a much, much better mom now when I was in my 20s or 30s. I’m 39, and trying in vitro fertilization (IVF) next month. As a 40 year old woman having a baby, I’m calmer, healthier, and more centered than I was even just a couple years ago. I’m a big fan of late motherhood.

If you want to be a mom and you’re over 40, read 15 Things You Need to Know About Pregnancy After 40.

Source of this research about living longer if you have a baby in your 40s: Late Motherhood Boosts Family Lifespan from the University of Utah. May 4, 2009. This study will be published in the Journal of Gerontology: Biological Sciences.


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55 thoughts on “Having a Baby in Your 40s – The Benefits of Late Motherhood”

  1. Wonderful
    I had my 3rd baby at 46
    A home water lotus birth
    And I breastfed her to natural term
    8 years and 3 months
    A woman’s body is quite capable of doing these things – it is society that creates too much fear and limitation
    Having a cycle ?
    Healthy ? Then you can conceive, grow a baby, birth and breastfeed – it’s not as complicated as we are lead to believe.
    I specialise in counselling over 40 mums or TTC to give loving support
    Love all
    Maha Al Musa

  2. This is fantastic! I am 44 and pregnant and will deliver after I turn 45. A family friend is (a healthy!) 103 years old and had her last baby at 47. She said it was the easiest of all her pregnancies.

  3. I hope you get pregnant soon, Violet, and come back and tell us what it’s like having a baby in your 40s! I’ll keep you in my prayers, for good health and God’s will in your life.

    May you have the family you hoped for and dreamed of, even if it’s not exactly the way you planned. May you accept and surrender to your life as it unfolds, and be peaceful and joy no matter what.


  4. I have been married for 20 years with no child and I have gone through operation because of fibroids and am still waiting to get a child of my own. Your comments have encouraged me . Hope I will get pregnant soon. Please advice me on what to do . I am 41yrs.

  5. Dear Mo,

    Thank you for your comments on having a baby in your 40s! I believe you will have the children you dream of, and you’ll be surrounded by love, chaos, and a family who is more than you hoped for.

    My prayer for you is that you stay hopeful, happy, and healthy. May you have your children before your forties are over, and may they bless you in ways you never imagined. I also pray that you stay strong emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Amen.


  6. I am overwhelmed with joy hearing all these stories about my fellow women conceiving and giving birth naturally in their 40’s. I am 41 and would probably start trying when I am 42 due to certain reason I would not want to bore you with right now. I have always believed I will have at least 2 children in my 40’s even though I would be happy to welcome more. I am from Nigeria {Africa} where it is a thing joy having a large family. My greatest joy is hearing that there is a link with late motherhood and longevity apart from being financially stable stc. My advice goes to women older than myself because I understand how challenging this journey can be . Do not give up on your try towards becoming a mother for it will certainly happen!

  7. I’m 43 and I just found out this week I was pregnant. It was my belief that I could not have children and I was okay with that. I’ve been living the life of traveling, partying, and doing whatever I pleased while my child-rearing friends were stuck at home. I had entered a new relationship about 6 weeks ago. I was not careful because of my belief that I was infertile and especially not likely to start conceiving at age 43. I had broken up with the father just before finding out. I care for this man but he is not mentally healthy. I’ve always been pro-choice but I’m not sure I can terminate just as I’m not sure about motherhood. I’m terrified. I guess I’m hoping to hear stories of similar situations and to see out it worked out for others.

  8. There’s a wonderful article about having a baby in your 40s, called “Biological clock not a time bomb after 40” in the Daily Telegraph. Here’s an excerpt:

    Cherie Blair was astonished to discover, at 45, that she was carrying her fourth child. “I thought: ‘I can’t be, I’m too old. It must be menopause,’?” she said. Actress Halle Berry last year revealed she was pregnant aged 46. “This has been the biggest surprise of my life, to tell you the truth. I thought I was kind of past the point where this could be a reality for me.”

    TV and radio presenter Gaby Roslin was similarly stunned, aged 41, to learn she was having a second child. “It was a surprise. I said to my obstetrician: ‘But I’m so old!’ He told me I was talking nonsense and that he had women of 46 on his books — and he’s right. He said it’s not an age thing, it’s down to how healthy you are.”

    Before the introduction of reliable contraception, older mothers were common, with women giving birth to their last child when they were grandmothers. In the Twenties, the average age a woman had her last child was 42.

    Today, forty-something mothers are more likely to be first-timers, and their numbers are rising once again. Office for National Statistics figures show that pregnancy rates for over-40s have more than doubled in the past 24 years, with 14 conceptions per 1,000 women aged 40-plus compared with six per 1,000 in 1990.

    Here’s the link to the full article: http://www.timeslive.co.za/lifestyle/family/2014/05/20/biological-clock-not-a-time-bomb-after-40

  9. Hi Lily,

    It sounds like a very exciting time of your life! I hope you come back and let me know if you decide to go ahead and have a baby…it’s a big decision. I’m 43, and I’d have a baby if I could 🙂 But we’re resigned to a life without kids. I’ll live vicariously through other women! It works for me 🙂

  10. Glad to see that I am not the only one struggling with the pros and cons here. And might I add…congratulations to those of you who are pregnant or have just had a baby at this age! I am 43, not married…but have 3 children from a past relationship. My oldest is 21, and my twin girls are 14. One of my twins has a special needs. The thing is…Ive been seeing someone for the past 2 years, he is going through a divorce..and not sure if he wants to get married again…and that is ok. He does want to have a child. His wife never did, and he is 49 yrs old. He wants to have a child and I would love to have a baby with him. I know he would be a wonderful father and it would be such a great experience to finally have a baby with a man who plans to stick around! My other childrens father ( all have the same father) was not in the picture for either of my pregnancies ( only there long enough to make the babes…very long story). I know my current boyfriend is in it for the long haul and I would love to have a baby with him…but im worried about my age. I am just starting a new job and want to work for a year before trying to get pregnant …so I will be 45 by the time I have the baby….it scares me! But lately its all I can think of…maybe its because I feel my time is running out….I dont know. I know in the end, it has to be my decision…but the idea of having a baby with a partner who actually WANTS the baby this time, makes a big difference. So much to think about!!

  11. I hope you return to tell us about your pregnancy, d.michelle! That’s very exciting – I wish you all the best. A baby is a gift any time, but during our 40s is especially precious 🙂

  12. Hello all! Thank you for the motivation and different, positive outlook on becoming a Mom over 40+ years old. I am 45 and cannot wait to have my first baby! In fact, I would love to have more than one, so we will see what happens;) Baby dust to all!

  13. Thanks for your comment, Mickey! I appreciate the feedback, and hope you’re able to fulfill your dreams…or flow with whatever life brings. 🙂

  14. Hi Laurie,

    I just stumbled upon your article and ‘m intrigued. I’m 47 years old and do not have any children. I would love to have twins and I do have some concern over my age. Your article is refreshing and I hope my dream of having twins is soon realized. Thanks for posting such great info.

  15. Thank you – it’s great to hear from women who are having babies in their 40s! Especially naturally. This does give the rest of us hope 🙂

  16. Well, I’m 42 and pregnant naturally. I have intentionally been preventing pregnancy, but after watching an episode of Dr. Oz I was convinced that at my age I didn’t need to be so careful. I literally had unprotected sex one time and surprise! I’m pregnant. I think people need to understand that not every women after 40 has a hard time conceiving. I was in shock for the first three months and kept thinking I would probably miscarry as I did twice 5 and 6 years ago ( when I was trying to have a baby). I’m now 4 months and will deliver my daughter at the age of 43. It’s definitely a scary thought especially when not planned, but if you want to have a baby then go for it! I feel young, look younger then I am and have plenty of energy. I am proof that you definitely CAN naturally conceive after 40. Good luck to the women who want to experience having a child.

  17. Hi feelingcrazy…
    I am also 44 and got major baby fever about 6 mos. ago. I also wonder if it is some kind of late in life hormonal charge? Regardless, I’m “going for it” and have been trying to create a sibling for my 7 year old with my husband of 22 years. I have been doing research and the statistics are not good, (BUT they never say who was in the statistic sample so I don’t know what to believe). Anyway, since no conception has taken place yet, we have our first appointment with a fertility clinic next week. I do feel “young” for my age, and always have. I also took at-home tests from the drug store for basic things showing ovulation and fsh levels, and since they were positive, we are moving forward, rather shyly and quietly hopeful, but trying! Best wishes to you. A few preliminary urine tests from your doctor or drugstore will tell you if there is hope. BEST wishes! I hope you get what you want.

  18. I don’t know if a biological clock ever stops ticking! Mine sort of comes and goes. I’m 42 and I would happily get pregnant, but my husband doesn’t have any sperm. I don’t want to go through the in vitro fertility treatments.

    Some days I feel sad about not having kids, but most days I’m perfectly happy. I’m a Big Sister and my husband is a Big Brother, so we get lots of kid time 🙂

    I think the biological clock may rear its ugly head at certain times of the month, or if I’m around babies or pregnant women.

    Whether or not having a baby in your 40s is a good idea depends on your personality, health, energy level, and lifestyle. It’s great for some women, not so good for others.

  19. I would like to add that a will be 40yrs old next year, i have a 13 yr old daughter, when i was 28, i decided to have my tubes tied so i could not become pregnant, funny that i never regretted it and still don’t but my partner of 6 years would like a baby of his own with me as he does not have any children.. so in December this year im going in to hospital for sterilisation to be reversed, i know all the risks and it may never happen bla bla, but deep down i my age puts me off..

  20. I am 44 and have been married for 14 years. I have never wanted children and was very against it. It just never seemed like something I would want to do. However, lately, it’s all I can think about! I haven’t mentioned it to my husband, because he too has not wanted children. I am in good health and seem quite young for my age. I am curious if this is maybe just a phase that I’m going through (like maybe a hormonal thing and my body is just panicking as I age) or if it is something I really want. I am wondering how safe and possible it is. Does anyone know if this will pass? I know I’m hitting that age where menopause could be around the corner, but for the first time ever… I think I might want a child to raise and love. I feel crazy! Any thoughts? Is it just my biological clock ticking, and if so, will it stop?

  21. Hi Laurie…
    I am 25 years of age and I live in New York but my mother lives in Africa. She just told me she is pregnant at the age of 46. But the thing is, her last born is now 6years. the doctor told her that, before she can get pregnant again, she has to go for a special injection. She ignored it because she thought she was already old so there is no need for that.. But she still got pregnant without the injection! Is there any advice for her please….

  22. Got pregnant at 33 and 40 naturally. But it was made very clear to us that natural pregnancy at age 40 is unusual and that the majority of women who try at that age will not be successful. While it is nice to have hope and happy thoughts about pregnancy in your forties, it is best to be realistic. Fertility doctors know this fact all too well, and they are the people to consult with.

  23. Dear HG,

    Thank you for your questions – I hope we hear from some women, both mothers and non-mothers!

    I wanted to have a baby in my 40s, but it didn’t happen. I’m now 42, and am inspired that we’re the same age and yet you’re thinking about having kids. My husband and I thought it’s too late….but every month, I say a little prayer that one of his sperm comes alive and makes a beeline for my egg. That said, however, we have made peace with not getting pregnant.

    In this post, I shared a few more thoughts on having babies in later life:

    Will I Regret Not Having Children?

    I hope it helps, and wish you all the best as you decide what to do. The problem is that there are so many unknowns! We have no idea how having a child will affect our lives, and I am 100% sure it will be different than we expected. This makes it such a hard decision.

    There are pros and cons to everything. So, whatever you decide, there will be both regrets and joys. There is no “right” decision — you make it right by embracing the best and worst of it.


  24. When I was in my twenties, I thought for sure I would be married and, without a doubt, have children . Well, life does not always go as we wish or expect it to and at the age of 39 I finally met the man I was waiting and hoping to find. We married last year at the age of 42- this is the first marriage for both of us. The thing is I can’t decide whether I do want to try to have a child….I always thought that having a child was ‘a given’ but now that I’m 43 I wonder and am concerned – do I have the energy and stamina to be a mother? How much will our lives change? Certainly life is easier when all you have to do is take care of yourself, and cater to your own personal wants and needs at your own convenience. But I can’t help but wonder if I would be missing out on deeper , more fulfilling experience by having a child. I am so full of doubt and anxiety. I am really interested in hearing from other women who are in similar situations and perhaps your reasoning for having a child in your 40’s. Also, how do you feel about being a first time parent in your 40’s? What do you feel are the real benefits of having a child later in life compared to your friends who had children in the 30’s . This decision would not have caused me to pause and consider the implications and immense responsibility of raising a child…but now I am experiencing such internal conflict. I would greatly appreciate hearing from others who are experiencing or have experienced the same dilemma. Is anyone else going through the same thing as I am?

  25. I just want to thank you ladies for inspiring me. I have enjoyed living on my own for years, and have waited to meet someone I truly want to be with, but have not been willing yet to commit to anyone. Just finishing school now, I am hoping to meet someone special soon and am attracted to guys younger than me and vice versa. I was feeling bad that a lot of these men want kids and I would not be able to give them that, but recognized after reading that I can still conceive for another 6 years or more. I feel so blessed, it made my night. Adoption would not be the worst thing to me, as having a child was not so important, but I needed time to mature and be alone…. I thought I had ruined my chance by waiting too long. Thanks for showing me it still might be possible!

  26. All, after multiple miscarriages and with the help of IVF (and a known egg donor), I had my first children (twin boys) at 46. They are 6 months old and absolutely perfect! I will be 47 next month and my husband and I are considering trying for a “round two” with our two remaining fertilized eggs that have been frozen. 😀 I had very few issues with my pregnancy. My first trimester was the worst, but that was more due to the hormone pills that I was on. I felt I was in a perpetual state of PMS. Once the fertility doc took me off those, I felt great. I’m tired, but have no doubt that even a 26 or 36 year old mother would be tired also, chasing after two very active bubby’s. I have concerns about my husband and myself’s ages and the disadvantages that come with that. But I also know that my children will have advantages that other children won’t have because of our ages. So, overall, I think it will round itself out.

  27. I am 46 and my baby girl is five months old now. We had a natural conception, easy pregnancy (relatively, I did have gestational diabetes) and best of all a natural birth after a C-section six years ago. I feel so blessed and ask all women trying to conceive or already pregnant to release their fear and embrace their dream. Faith is a massive part of this journey. And chocolate!

    xxx Best of luck and love to all

  28. I just turned 45 and I have an 11yr old beautiful healthy daughter. I am thinking of having one more, but I’m scared because of all the neg. thing’s I’ve heard about doing this at this age. Please help.

  29. Hello ladies and thanks for the inspiring comments. I am a healthy 43 year old who is hoping to become pregnant again. I have a 2 yr old who is the love of my life, in addition to my husband of course. My question to all of you who have had successful pregnancies in your mid forties…..do you experience any feelings of guilt being an older mom? I look at my 2 year old and sometimes feel that I am short changing him because I won’t be living as long on this earth as a mom in her 20’s or 30’s. I am happy to be a mom at this stage in my life and I would love to have another however I need to overcome this feeling. Any words of encouragement would be appreciated. Is anyone else feeling the same?

  30. Hi beautiful ladies
    Just back on this site reading all the comments (and I made one above!) about having had a home waterbirth at 46 years of age!

    And to further inspire you all – I am 49 in 2 weeks and still breastfeeding my daughter who is 3 in October….yes it is possible..
    dont give up hope…

  31. I am 43 years old, I have a wonderful 23 year old daughter who recently moved out and living on her own. I was a single parent while raising her. I recently met a young man who is 28 years old, and began a sexual relationship with him, and now found out Im pregnant. Before reading your article, I have been fearing of what I should do. I’ve always said that I wanted more kids, but now that I’am, I feel confused because it was not planned in the way that I wanted it to happen. I wanted to be in a committed relationship. Reading all of these postings has helped my mind to be clear and focused. I will go through with this pregancy if God’s willing. Thank You!

  32. I am 45 and recently divorced. I have a 21yr old and a 17yr old. I met my soulmate who is 12 yrs younger than myself. He has no children. I just found out I was pregnant. The best gift I can give him is a child and our relationship is stable enough to handle one but we are only 1 1/2yrs together and I feel we still need more one on one time. Already being a parent, I know the stress it will add to our new relationship as well as all the financial stresses.I am also very nervous about the risks. We have not made a final
    decision yet but after reading several posts, I feel a bit more positive about going thru with the pregnancy. Thank you

  33. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    Wow, that is a surprise — getting pregnant and having your baby at age 41! I would be so happy 🙂

    Thanks for your tips, Elise. It’s so great to hear you encourage people to enjoy their children regardless of how old they are when they get pregnant.

    Enjoy being a grandmother!

  34. I had my two sons when I was 24 and 26, and then had my daughter when I was 41 (it was a surprise pregnancy). Since I was both a very young mom and a older mom, I found many advantages and disadvantages in having kids in both a young age and older age…however the thing everyone should realize that all the children you have is a big blessing. It doesn’t matter how old you are when you have them, just enjoy every minute of them as it is too precious to waste. My daughter is almost 11 now and I just can’t believe how fast time flew, and I again have baby vibes, but at 52, I am certainly done having kids and very content with my family. Now I’m anxiously waiting for my grandchildren to arrive in the near future! (one of my sons is married and is talking on having kids soon)

  35. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    Evelyn, thanks for your information about having a baby in your 40s! It’s great to know that women can have a healthy, happy pregnancy and baby in late motherhood. I think many new mothers experience fatigue and exhaustion, even if they’re in their 20s or 30s.

    It sounds like you’ve already lived a rich, full, interesting life….which your daughter will benefit from. She’ll find you fascinating! There are many benefits to waiting until you’re older and more mature to have a child.


  36. I had a baby at 45…it also was basically a pretty easy pregnancy, and I had an extremely healthy, beautiful child. She is 3 now. I will admit I had problems with fatigue the first 2 years, as I got to the point that I couldn’t get back to sleep after I was woken up alot. But that is over now, as we sleep through the night.

    She is my first and last and I am happy to have her I can’t say my life is very stable career wise or financaillly, that is still a work in progress, but I feel I will be able to get more on track with this as she gets older. I wish it was, but I was a free spirit alot of my life, and am late at everything I guess. Not very practical.

    So I have my regrets…I would have liked to have had a child younger, but honestly I was getting over so much from my past it did not seem possible.

    I am very happy to hear all these positlve stories!

  37. I had my first baby at 22, my second at 26 and my third at 43. It was a great pregnancy and a very easy conception (1st try) and delivery. I want another baby, but just turned 44. I’m so nervous as every thing went so well last time that I might be pushing my luck. My husband is all for it. Any thoughts? I would love to have a sibling for my little girl to grow up with and of course I would be blessed to have another baby.

  38. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    Hi Trish,

    How exciting for you! Wow — women in their forties need to read this and have hope and faith that they CAN get pregnant, even if they’re past “prime childbearing age.”

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I hope you come back and let me know how things go….


  39. The article and posts by other woman my age are inspiring. I, too found my wonderful man much later in life than I ever imagined. I’m 45 and have started the process at a great fertility practice for having a baby through egg donation. While this isn’t how I dreamed of having a child, it’s a wonderful option for us. We like this idea over adoption for a few reasons; the child will be genetically connected and I/we get to experience pregnancy and giving birth. One thing I read in the information from the fertility counselor which was very helpful for me emotionally is, that while our child won’t be genetically mine, it will be biologically mine. This is such a cool option for woman who may think their dream of having a child at this age will never happen.

    We’re praying that I’ll be pregnant by my 46th bday in November. (BTW he’ll be 49 in Jan.) We’re a bit nervous about our energy levels and have made a pact to both get in better shape! Good thoughts for you all and your babies to be.

  40. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen


    Thanks for your comment — and happy 41st birthday!

    That’s wonderful, that you’re thinking about having a baby now that you’re in your 40s. I hope you keep in touch, and let me know how it goes.

    All good things,

  41. I’m turning 41 this weekend and recently allowing myself to be open to wanting to have a child. I am single, have a stable career, getting my finances in order, etc. I’ve not allowed myself to “want” for anything, I have represed my desires to save myself the hurt of wanting or being disappointed that I experienced so much as a child and young adult. I wanted children when I was younger and then as I aged, I told myself all kinds of things to deny my heart; my heart of creating a beautiful boy or girl and of being a mother. So, now I’m contemplating this. I am opening my heart, my life to the possibility. There are many things bringing me to this place – one of them is my age and having difficult periods and the option of getting an IUD. It just seems silly to go down that path right now in my life when I want to have a family – with or without a partner. Thank you for this article. I have so much love to give and manifest beauty whereever I am. Having a child would be a gift to myself as I have prepared myself to be a gift to her/him.

    Thank you for this.

  42. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    Congratulations, Mattie — I’m so happy to hear that you’re pregnant and having a baby in your 40s! That’s very exciting.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, that you have a healthy pregnancy and safe delivery.

    If you have the time and energy, I’d love to know how things are going!


  43. I just find out that I am going to have a baby at the age of 46 I can not believe it and we was not trying I lose weight and like a blessing it happen,we did tried couple years ago and maybe a little last year I pray I can carry my little one

  44. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen


    Thanks for your lovely message — it’s so great to hear from you! I will send positive healthy pregnancy vibes your way, and I sure hope you keep me updated…

    Take care,


  45. You all have inspired me greatly!! Thank you. I am 45 year old single working mom. I have a beautiful 11 year old daughter who I adore. I am now in a relationship with a (younger) man and we have discussed the idea of having children. I ALWAYS wanted to have more children but the right guy had not come around…until now. 🙂 I spoke to my doctor and he basically said the exact same things you stated in your article Lawire PK. He said I am a young 45 year old; we live longer and yes there are risks and some challenges but there are plenty of women in my position today having children. Wow…I am so excited about the fact this may happen. Love to you all!! DC

  46. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen


    Thanks for your comment…I’m glad the article made you smile. And I think that a woman in her 40s would make a GREAT mom for lots of different reasons. 🙂


  47. Hi there,

    I found this an extremely interesting read. I am 47. I have not had children. I know my biological clock has started to miss ticks here and there, but I can’t help thinking about what a great Mom I would be at this point in my life. The article actually made me smile. Thank you!

  48. Thanks Laurie for your message…I think the biggest key to fertility for me and to be able to get pregnant naturally at 45 was being SUGAR FREE and being v strict with it..I was on the LOW GI diet for 4 1/2 years prior to this conception and lost 18 kilos after the births of my boys (when they were 4 and 7 I went on the diet) and never felt better! It helped balance out hormones, moods and general well being..also took herbs and exercised..my partner was 44 at the time and our daughter is his first….I also truly beleive that the bellydance and deep connection to femininty really helped..as well as being in love with my man!!
    When I was 28-30 years I had PCOS and was told I would never conceive naturally..I have conceived 3 beautiful chn ( whilst I have been 33, 37 and 45 years of age) all natural births..these words (and NEVER is a life sentence and DR’s should not use it!) actually motivated me to get healthy (nutrition) give up smoking, drinking etc – I believe the language we use around infertility has to be POSITIVE bec the power of mind/belief in one s self is all connected…
    love to you

  49. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen


    Thanks for your comment. I don’t normally allow links in the comments section, but yours was too good to resist 🙂

    Congratulations on giving birth to boys at 46 years old…wow! You must be very fit and healthy. You’re an inspiration!


  50. Hi Laurie
    Just came upon your article…yah! some benefits to having a baby after 45!
    I got pregnant naturally at 45 and gave birth NATURALLY AT HOME IN THE WATER to my beautiful baby girl (I already had two boys who were 8 and 11 at teh time) at the ripe young age AGE OF 46 YEARS!
    I am glad I will live longer want to see my sweet pea growing up!
    I am also the founder of Bellydance For Birth – The Al Musa Method…you can go to my website at
    I relased a DVD one year after my daughter was born in september 2009, which has lots of great bellydance birth exercises as well as a film of my homebirth at 46…
    Great to inspire older mums!

  51. Thanks for your feedback, hot-flash; you’re right, I hadn’t thought of the menopause and puberty issues.

    I recently wrote an article tentatively titled “The Magic of Menopause” for Health magazine, about the benefits of menopause for some women. I don’t know what issue it’ll be in, but if you see it, I’d love your feedback!

    Menopause, late motherhood, having a baby after age 40 is different for every woman, I think. The benefits of late motherhood that I listed are all true for me — except for “more stable job or career.” As a freelance writer, I’m less stable than ever! But, I’m married to a man with a stable career (more or less)…so that helps.

    I’m so curious: did you deliberately wait until age 42 to have a baby? And, did it take you long to conceive?

    Thanks again for your comment, and I hope I see you in cyberspace….


  52. I read that research and “older” literally meant over 45 as far as I could see. Not over 40, over 45.

    Regardless, I had my first and only child at 42 with no assistance which is not unusual in my family.

    Pregnancy in your 40’s brings with it lots of risk in terms of baby health as well as issues like gestational diabetes. Also the pressure to deliver by casaer is significant and even more so in the US.

    I have to say I disagree with your listed benefits. Being older does not mean you have any of these things, let alone all of them.

    I would concede that you are probably more confident about motherhood and more independent in your views about it.

    One big thing that you are forgetting is that menopause is going to hit before your child has even reached puberty. You might be losing patience when you really really need it.

    But of course it might be be better than late-30s mothers whose children are going thru puberty of course!

    Or mid-30s dealing with teenagers.

    I say early 30s or early 40s are the best timing for motherhood and menopause!

    Good luck!