Emotional Health > Depression & Anxiety > Fear of Infertility – 5 Tips for Overcoming Fertility Problems

Fear of Infertility – 5 Tips for Overcoming Fertility Problems

The fear of infertility can stop you from overcoming fertility problems. Some couples don’t know if they’re dealing with infertility issues, because they haven’t overcome their fear of finding out about infertility! If you’re one of those couples, here are tips on overcoming your fear of never getting pregnant.

“Fear grows in darkness,” says Dorothy Thompson. “If you think there’s a boogeyman around, turn on the light.”

Overcoming the fear of infertility involves shedding light on the problem. The more you know about infertility causes and treatments, the less fear you’ll have – because you’ll be able to take action! To learn more, read Unsung Lullabies: Understanding and Coping with Infertility by Janet Jaffe, David Diamond, and Martha Diamond.

And, read on for tips on overcoming fear of infertility…

Fear of Infertility – 5 Tips for Overcoming Fertility Problems

1. Take one step at a time. We’re all at different place on this infertility roller coaster – some couples have tried for 10 years to get pregnant, while others are just starting to wonder if they might have infertility issues. To overcome your fear of infertility, don’t scare yourself by imagining uncomfortable fertility treatments, expensive medical bills, and the disappointment of still getting your period after five years. Don’t jump ahead – just take it one step at a time.

2. Learn about the situation you’re in. Have you been diagnosed with endometriosis, or your husband with azoospermia? Have you been trying to get pregnant for three months or three years? No matter what fertility problems you’re coping with, learn as much as you can about it. Read, talk to doctors, join support groups, do your internet research on infertility. To overcome fear of infertility, you need to shed light on the problem – because “fear grows in darkness.”

3. Find the right type of support. Everyone feels supported in different ways…some read infertility books, others attend lectures about ovulation and pregnancy, and still others join fertility support groups. To overcome fear of infertility, figure out what makes you feel most supported, and stay connected.

4. Talk to couples who successfully coped with infertility. You don’t need to join a formal infertility support group to find couples coping with infertility – you need only ask your friends, family, coworkers, and neighbors. Infertility isn’t something to be ashamed of, and most couples who coped with infertility are happy to talk about it! Infertility isn’t a death knell; overcoming fear of infertility involves connecting with “survivors.”

5. Be open to redefining your life. Have you always wanted six kids? Did you always hope to be a mom or dad? Be open to redefining how you thought your life would turn out. Instead of six kids, maybe you’ll adopt two. Instead of being a mom or dad, maybe you’ll be a Big Sister or cool neighborhood “auntie.” There are hundreds of ways to redefine your life – and overcoming fear of infertility involves letting go of your old expectations, and being open to a new, different life.

What do you think of these tips for overcoming infertility – and do you have any of your own to share?

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7 thoughts on “Fear of Infertility – 5 Tips for Overcoming Fertility Problems”

  1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Cindy!

    I agree, that nothing — absolutely nothing — can replace a woman’s (or man’s) urge to have her own child.

    My husband and I can’t have children because of fertility problems that we can’t “fix”…so we do what we can. Yes, we have an empty hole in our lives. But either we dwell on the emptiness or we find different things to focus on.

    I’m so curious about you! How old are you, and why haven’t you had children? Or have you had kids? You seem to know what it’s like to feel the emptiness and not be able to get pregnant…if you’d like to share more of your life, I’d love to know more.

    I think I need to spend more time with people who have fertility problems. My husband and I are pretty much the only ones in our circle and neighborhood without kids, and it’d be good for us to connect with people who are childfree/childless.

    Anyway, thanks again for commenting, Cindy.


  2. so, i’m not completely sold on the laws of attraction and how they can help you reach your fertility goal. i do believe that thinking in a positive way tends to bring more positive results in your life. however, it’s difficult to hear so many people say “instead of being a mom or day, maybe you can reassert your thoughts towards being the cool neighborhood “auntie”.

    i just get so frustrated when i hear these sorts of things. being an aunt never replaces the desire to be a mom. being a big sister never replaces the desire to be a mother. reaching out to others is a caring guesture and it’s important to give part of yourself, but it doesn’t fill the emptiness that a woman is left with when they can’t bring that niece or nephew home or a child of their own to call them their own.

  3. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    Hi Suhasini,

    I wish I could help you by telling you to remedy polycystic disease and get pregnant quickly, but I just can’t. You need to get medical advice like this from your doctor, who knows your body and lifestyle.

    Listen to your doctor; he or she probably knows what the right route is. And, stay healthy by eating the right foods, reducing stress, timing your ovulation, and reading up on pregnancies! It takes time to get pregnant — but many women do, even with polycystic ovarian syndrome.

    You may find this article helpful:

    Yes, You Can Get Pregnant If You Have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

    I hope it helps, and wish you all the best.


  4. hi laurie.recently i came to know that am suffering from poly cystic disease and my gynaecologist had suggested me glyciphaseP15 pills.with this problem could i be able to conceive in 1 or 2 months.please suggest me the remedy and the precautions i need to take to conceive. thank you.

  5. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen


    Thanks for your comment, Suhasini! I’m glad these articles on fertility and getting pregnant are helpful…because feeling confident is a great way to increase your chances of pregnancy.

    Good luck, and enjoy the process of getting pregnant…


  6. laurie.your 5 tips work well .I was fearing a lot whether i could conceive or not as we were trying for that from past 3 months.but when i started reading articles on fertility and tips of your’s in getting pregnant .it’s really been useful for me.am confident now.thank q.

  7. Action is another great way to overcome fear of infertility. Take action by making appointments with doctors or fertility specialists, talking to your spouse, or arming yourself with resource material (books, fertility treatment info, information-gathering sessions with fertility counselors, etc).