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Depression When No Pregnancy is in Sight – 6 Ways to Cope

If you’re struggling with depression because there’s no pregnancy in sight, check out these six ways to cope.

These tips for overcoming depressed feelings when you’re not getting pregnant are from two infertility experts at Pulling Down the Moon, an organization that helps women with infertility.

“Issues of infertility currently affect 12% of the American population, equating to 7.3 million women,” say fertility experts and former fertility patients Tami Quinn and Beth Heller. “A recent study has shown that of these 7.3 million women, 40% are severely distressed and anxious by the time they seek help at a fertility clinic.”


Quinn and Heller wrote Fully Fertile: A 12-Week Holistic Plan for Optimal Fertility. Here are their tips for overcoming depression when you can’t get pregnant.

Depression When No Pregnancy is in Sight

Feelings of depression and hopelessness can negatively affect a woman’s chance of conceiving a baby, yet the fertility struggle is so draining that many women find it impossible to remain upbeat and relaxed! If you wonder if you’re depressed, read Signs of Depression Because of No Pregnancy.

Seek outside support (other than family, friends and loved ones)

Research has shown that women who seek support during fertility treatment have higher conception rates. There are plenty of places to get fertility support, such as local fertility clinics, fertility support groups, online communities and more.

Nurture yourself

To overcome depression when you can’t get pregnant, indulge in a day (a month!) of self-healing.  Take a day off from work, book a massage, or lay on the couch with a good book.  Do the things you love for one day, without guilt and without apology.

Connect with Mother Nature

Engaging the senses by walking in nature can change the momentum of your day.  In addition to being a “fertility friendly” exercise, walking also provides quiet time for you to spend with your thoughts allowing you to take in positive energy and getting rid of the negative.

Find inspiration

To overcome depression when you can’t get pregnant, find inspiration from other people who have also experienced difficulty.  Read biographies, attend lectures, listen to audio tapes or spend time researching to gain a better understanding of how others have survived their challenging times. You might like Mary Beth’s story in Getting Pregnant in Your 40s or 50s!

Learn to meditate

Meditation allows you to see your emotions as they come and go.  The more we practice this technique, the more we can step outside the mind and body and find more lasting peace in times of crisis, loss or disappointment. To overcome depression when you’re coping with infertility, try meditating – even if it’s just for a few minutes at a time. You may find Pregnancy Meditation – How to Meditate and Get Pregnant helpful.

Express gratitude for what you do have

Focusing on the positives and reminding yourself of everything you have to be thankful for can be very therapeutic. To overcome depression, keep this list somewhere where you can see it, such as your refrigerator, your bathroom or in another location that will be a daily reminder of those things for which you have to be thankful.

A great way to cope with depression is to take action. Read I’m Not Getting Pregnant and I Really Want a Baby for simple ways to take charge of your fertility.

If you have any questions or thoughts on overcoming depression when no pregnancy is in sight, please comment below.



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Pulling Down The Moon is an Integrative Care for Fertility (ICF) service that works in partnership with medical doctors to treat infertility, through individualized, holistic programs focused on fertility yoga, acupuncture, massage, and more.

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5 thoughts on “Depression When No Pregnancy is in Sight – 6 Ways to Cope”

  1. Thanks for your comment, Shirley. I’m sorry you’re struggling with depression because of the lack of pregnancy…I know how hard it is.

    I’ll write an article that may help you convince your husband to go to a fertility doctor, and post the link here.

  2. AT least I’m not alone in my depression because I haven’t got pregnant for three years. We should go to a fertility clinic, I suppose. I just keep putting it off and so does my husband. Well, he refuses to go, actually, which may be part of why I”m so depressed about not getting pregnant!!!

    How do you convince a man that it’s okay to go to a fertility doctor without hurting his ego?

  3. Using a mantra can be one of the best ways to get started in meditation. It acts as a key to quieten and learn how to control the mind and develop concentration, which then leads you into meditation. Of course, working with sound is a great advantage too.