What do happy couples do? You might be surprised at these seven secrets of great marriages — such as the fact that a husband’s emotional engagement is the single most important factor in a healthy marriage.
Before the tips, here’s a quip from a famous mystery writer:
When someone remarked to Agatha Christie about her being 15 years older than her archaeologist husband Max Mallowan, she said: “That’s the wonderful thing about being married to an archaeologist. The older I get, the more interesting I am to him!” – Agatha Christie.
A secret to a great marriage is to find the humor in what sets you apart — even if it’s your age, and your partner’s age! To learn more marriage secrets, read What Happy Couples Do: Belly Button Fuzz & Bare-Chested Hugs–The Loving Little Rituals of Romance.
And here are seven secrets of great marriages…
What Happy Couples Do
1. Unhappy marriages are harder on wives. UCLA researchers found that when husbands go home after work, their stress hormone cortisol is dramatically reduced whether or not they’re happily married. In contrast, wives enjoy lower cortisol levels after work only if they’re happily married. If they’re unhappy, their cortisol increases when they get home. Cortisol is a result of chronic stress and can lead to depression, chronic fatigue, and possibly even cancer. This secret of a great marriage secret can improve your health!
If your marriage is unhappy, read Marriage Crisis – Surviving When You Have Nothing Left.
2. Good fights keep marriages healthy. “When couples get together, one of their main jobs is reconciliation about conflict,” says Ernest Harburg, researcher and professor emeritus at the University of Michigan. “Usually nobody is trained to do this.” His research reveals that couples who suppress anger are twice as likely to face early death as those who express it. Here’s what happy couples do: get over being nice, and get a little mad sometimes!
3. There is one secret to a happy marriage. A husband’s emotional engagement is the single most important factor in determining marital happiness – wedded bliss – for a wife. University of Virginia researchers found that women care more about being understood, having their needs met, and spending quality time with their husbands than money or household chores. Here’s a marriage tip for men: be vulnerable and affectionate with your wives – especially if this is your second marriage.
4. People who never married risk an early death. Never married men between ages 19 and 44 are more than twice as likely to die early as their married peers. Even though the unmarried men in this study exercised more and were less overweight, they were more socially isolated. Never married women weren’t as vulnerable to early death…but I think this marriage secret does depend on the quality of your marriage! Unhappy marriages may lead to unhealthy partners.
If you and your spouse have experienced a tragedy, read When Your Spouse Withdraws Because of Grief – 5 Ways to Stay Close.
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