Your relationship is over, yet you find yourself begging for love. Worse, you keep begging him to come back and start fresh…and you hate yourself for it.
“I feel ashamed to admit it but I am begging for love,” says Girl25 on 8 Signs He Doesn’t Love You. “I’ve asked for him to recall how we got together, and I called him many times. I also asked him not to do this to us, and give us one last try. But it doesn’t seem to work. He’s silent…I have to ask him to talk things out even if we had done it two or three times before.”
Does this sound familiar? Many heartbroken men and women refuse to let go of their partners, and plead for them to give the relationship a second chance. But it doesn’t work. Even if you got back together, you’d always know your partner is only with you because you begged him to come back. Do you really want a relationship based on that? No, you don’t! Below are three ideas on how to stop begging for love, and a link to my bestselling book about letting go and moving on.
It’s time to stop begging your boyfriend or husband to come back – and here’s why: “Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put them back together.”
If you keep chasing him and begging him to love you again, you will destroy your self-esteem and self-respect. Worse, you will destroy your soul. You need to find ways to gain strength and enough self-love to move on with your life.
It is finished. Your relationship is over. The sooner you accept this reality, the quicker you’ll get back on your feet.
How to Stop Begging for Love
These tips are about moving forward in your life, not obsessing about the past. Now is the perfect time for you to rediscover who you are as a woman, and start living your life to the fullest!
The first and best way to stop begging him to come back is to see yourself through God’s eyes. You are a beautiful, valuable, lovable, deeply wonderful woman. You deserve to be treated with respect and love. You were created to be cherished. This breakup is His way of protecting you from a relationship that isn’t good for you.
Admit that there were problems in your relationship
It’s over. He broke up with you, and he doesn’t want you back. If you keep begging him to come back, you keep driving your self-respect into the ground. Soon you will feel like you are nothing – if you don’t already feel that way!
Take a deep breath, and step away from the relationship. Instead of looking at your ex-boyfriend with a desperate yearning, see him objectively. Instead of wishing your life was the way it was, focus on the ways your life is better without him. There were problems in the relationship – whether you admitted them or not – and your ex isn’t willing to work them out. Stop begging him to be someone he’s not. If you were meant to be with your ex, then you and he would be together.
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Start rebuilding yourself as a woman
Who are you? Where do you want your life to take you? Put all thoughts of your ex-boyfriend aside, and start thinking about your future, your career goals, your LIFE.
A man is not your life, and you are not your relationship. If you want to be a healthy, strong, happy, whole woman, then you need to start focusing on your goals and hopes for your life. Get happy and fulfilled – start rebuilding your life the way you want it! What does this mean to you? This is your chance to find out.
If you don’t feel good about yourself, read How to Love Yourself When You Don’t Feel Good Enough.
Choose activities and thoughts that create self-respect and self-confidence
When you call, text, email, or beg him in person to come back to you, you are chipping away at your self-respect and self-confidence. You are lowering your self-image, and you are teaching yourself to think that you’re less than dirt. You need to keep reminding yourself that you WANT to stop begging for love, that you are worth more than that.
The only thing that begging accomplishes is to make you feel worse about who you are. Begging him to come back does NOT make you more attractive or appealing to him – it makes you seem desperate and pathetic.
Get off your knees. Stop begging him to come back. Start creating a life you are proud of.
Learn how to let go of someone you love
I wrote 3 Powerful Secrets and 75 Tips for Healing Your Heart because I needed to learn how to let go of my sister. Letting her go was the most painful and difficult thing I ever did!
To write this ebook, I interviewed life coaches, counselors, and grief coaches on letting go. I know how shocking, confusing, and heart-wrenching it is when you’re letting go of a loved one. It’s devastating – and it changes how you see yourself. Learning how to let go of someone you love is about rediscovering your passion and identity.
Here’s what a reader recently emailed me about Letting Go of Someone You Love: “I gobbled the book down. Great help in putting things in perspective and in taking positive thoughtful action. Many thanks for sharing your wisdom and experiences.”
I welcome your thoughts on how to stop begging for love. I can’t offer advice or counseling, but I encourage you to write your feelings down. If you put your thoughts in writing, you’ll see how desperate and crazy you sound…and you may find it easier to stop begging him to come back.
What is your next step? What will you do with this one wild and precious life?
Remember how much God loves you. You were beautifully and wonderfully made, and He is watching over you. He can’t protect you from every hurt, but He will bring you through every trial.
Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back offers hope, encouragement, and strength for women walking through loss. My Blossom Tips are fresh and practical - they stem from my own experiences with a schizophrenic mother, foster homes, a devastating family estrangement, and infertility.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets (and Practical Tips!) for Healing Your Heart is filled with comforting and healthy breakup advice. The Blossom Tips will help you loosen unhealthy attachments to the past, seal your heart with peace, and move forward with joy.
When You Miss Him Like Crazy: 25 Lessons to Move You From Broken to Blossoming After a Breakup will help you refocus your life, re-create yourself, and start living fully again! Your spirit will rise and you'll blossom into who you were created to be.