How to Stop Begging for Love After It’s Over

Your relationship is over, yet you find yourself begging for love. Worse, you keep begging him to come back and start fresh…and you hate yourself for it.

stop begging for love

Stop Begging for Love

“I feel ashamed to admit it but I am begging for love,” says Girl25 on 8 Signs He Doesn’t Love You. “I’ve asked for him to recall how we got together, and I called him many times. I also asked him not to do this to us, and give us one last try. But it doesn’t seem to work. He’s silent…I have to ask him to talk things out even if we had done it two or three times before.”

Does this sound familiar? Many heartbroken men and women refuse to let go of their partners, and plead for them to give the relationship a second chance. But it doesn’t work. Even if you got back together, you’d always know your partner is only with you because you begged him to come back. Do you really want a relationship based on that? No, you don’t! Below are three ideas on how to stop begging for love, and a link to my bestselling book about letting go and moving on.

It’s time to stop begging your boyfriend or husband to come back – and here’s why: “Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put them back together.”

If you keep chasing him and begging him to love you again, you will destroy your self-esteem and self-respect. Worse, you will destroy your soul. You need to find ways to gain strength and enough self-love to move on with your life.

It is finished. Your relationship is over. The sooner you accept this reality, the quicker you’ll get back on your feet.

How to Stop Begging for Love

These tips are about moving forward in your life, not obsessing about the past. Now is the perfect time for you to rediscover who you are as a woman, and start living your life to the fullest!

The first and best way to stop begging him to come back is to see yourself through God’s eyes. You are a beautiful, valuable, lovable, deeply wonderful woman. You deserve to be treated with respect and love. You were created to be cherished. This breakup is His way of protecting you from a relationship that isn’t good for you.

Admit that there were problems in your relationship

It’s over. He broke up with you, and he doesn’t want you back. If you keep begging him to come back, you keep driving your self-respect into the ground. Soon you will feel like you are nothing – if you don’t already feel that way!

Take a deep breath, and step away from the relationship. Instead of looking at your ex-boyfriend with a desperate yearning, see him objectively. Instead of wishing your life was the way it was, focus on the ways your life is better without him. There were problems in the relationship – whether you admitted them or not – and your ex isn’t willing to work them out. Stop begging him to be someone he’s not. If you were meant to be with your ex, then you and he would be together.

Start rebuilding yourself as a woman

Who are you? Where do you want your life to take you? Put all thoughts of your ex-boyfriend aside, and start thinking about your future, your career goals, your LIFE.

A man is not your life, and you are not your relationship. If you want to be a healthy, strong, happy, whole woman, then you need to start focusing on your goals and hopes for your life. Get happy and fulfilled – start rebuilding your life the way you want it! What does this mean to you? This is your chance to find out.

If you don’t feel good about yourself, read How to Love Yourself When You Don’t Feel Good Enough.

Choose activities and thoughts that create self-respect and self-confidence

When you call, text, email, or beg him in person to come back to you, you are chipping away at your self-respect and self-confidence. You are lowering your self-image, and you are teaching yourself to think that you’re less than dirt. You need to keep reminding yourself that you WANT to stop begging for love, that you are worth more than that.

The only thing that begging accomplishes is to make you feel worse about who you are. Begging him to come back does NOT make you more attractive or appealing to him – it makes you seem desperate and pathetic.

Get off your knees. Stop begging him to come back. Start creating a life you are proud of.

Learn how to let go of someone you love

letting go of someone you loveI wrote 3 Powerful Secrets and 75 Tips for Healing Your Heart because I needed to learn how to let go of my sister. Letting her go was the most painful and difficult thing I ever did!

To write this ebook, I interviewed life coaches, counselors, and grief coaches on letting go. I know how shocking, confusing, and heart-wrenching it is when you’re letting go of a loved one. It’s devastating – and it changes how you see yourself. Learning how to let go of someone you love is about rediscovering your passion and identity.

Here’s what a reader recently emailed me about Letting Go of Someone You Love: “I gobbled the book down.  Great help in putting things in perspective and in taking positive thoughtful action.  Many thanks for sharing your wisdom and experiences.”

I welcome your thoughts on how to stop begging for love. I can’t offer advice or counseling, but I encourage you to write your feelings down. If you put your thoughts in writing, you’ll see how desperate and crazy you sound…and you may find it easier to stop begging him to come back.

What is your next step? What will you do with this one wild and precious life?

Remember how much God loves you. You were beautifully and wonderfully made, and He is watching over you. He can’t protect you from every hurt, but He will bring you through every trial.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

7 thoughts on “How to Stop Begging for Love After It’s Over”

  1. My boyfriend and I been together for 12 years but moved in together 6 years ago. He’s a wonderful individual to me and my son, he has done a lot for us financially and date to date activities like taking my son to school everyday while I’m working. There has been bumps in the road but nothing that can’t be resolved, me and him have fight few times and sadly my son has heard it all. This last fight my boyfriend said he doesn’t want this relationship anymore, that he feels neutral. He said he will help me in any way he can to find a place to live. I broke down, my son hugged me and said we will be ok mom… couple days later in a very behaved conversation I was telling my boyfriend what my plans are in order to move out and look for another place, he told me “this is home” “this is your house” in the heat of the moment you say things you don’t mean it and we had a long talk and we want to try to fix things up, when we both spoke with my son, he got upset and said how can you wanting to be with someone that told you he doesn’t love us anymore?! My son doesn’t want to live with my boyfriend anymore. What do I do? I follow my son’s great common sense or I try to convince him we will be ok staying at home? I think he may be to hurt deep down and he doesn’t want to forgive, but my son is my priority. I feel I’m in the middle of a big mess

  2. Yolanda cuevas moreno

    I am so devastated I am Super model gorgeous
    Long beautiful tighs
    Beautiful hair
    But for the past years after loosing my man my love for strong reasons I lost myself and I dress and look homeless. I been so depressed for five years none stop crying I’m killing my self with this when can I forget him. Oh god this hurts so much

  3. I was married 35 years he decided he needed time for hisself. And wanted to live alone. I had sold my home and moved out of state with him. I begged for love I mean I dressed up and begged. He was cold couldn’t even hold my hand after living together 38 years. He’s been traveling alone going to strip clubs. I have to move past this

  4. Leo, are you sure you want to do that? I have never seen any Leo guy wanting to get back to his girl who dumped him. You seem to be different. And generally Leo’s dump and not get dumped. How did that happen to you ? What was her zodiac ? Curious who had the guts to dump a Proud Leo. ?

  5. Funny how all the articles are for girls who are begging boyfriends to come back. I been looking for an article related to guys all day….cant see any…..we guys get dumped and want to find ways to bring them back too…..

    1. I’m sorry and that is very true.
      The way to get a good woman back is to talk and admit and apologize for your mistakes and that it can all be worked out and you will do whatever it takes. Relationships take real work and are not to be upgraded.
      All the best to you, if she’s not a good woman or she has been hurt to much she may not listen, but if she doesn’t you will have learned some great life lessons and will find someone right for you.