One of the best ways to create financial security is to separate your money from your emotions. Why? Because your emotions, thoughts, and beliefs directly contribute to your behavior…which directly affects how much money you earn and spend.
“What money means to each one of us individually is always just under the surface,” writes Ron Haynes in Money is 100 Percent Emotional. “It shapes our daily spending, our tolerance for risk, or even if we can stand to think about money matters at all. It reflects the emotions we’ve attached to our money, good or bad, and we then equate having enough with being respected or happy or even loved.”
What does money mean to you? Figuring out how you feel about money is the first step to creating financial security – and even abundance! If you want to change your relationship with money, read Money Magic: Unleashing Your True Potential for Prosperity and Fulfillment.
And, here are a few tips for being a “BFF” with your finances…
How to Separate Your Money From Your Emotions
“If you’re constantly worried, if you’re constantly thinking about finances, if you’re always on the defensive and losing sleep over whether you’ll “have enough,” or whether you’ll “lose it all,” you need to sit down and redefine your relationship with money,” says Haynes. “Mastering your money means facing your fears, overcoming them, and then taking concrete steps to redefine how you look at and relate with money.”
How do you redefine your relationship with money? These money articles will help…
Men, Women, and Money – 11 Different Ways of Seeing Money – If you’re married, it’s important to know that your spouse sees money differently than you do. Men and women get very different messages about money, which means they have different approaches to and emotions about money.
Addicted to Shopping? How to Stop Emotional Spending – If you shop or spend money to cope with fear, anxiety, depression, insecurity, or anxiety, then you may be addicted to the feelings that shopping brings. If you can separate money from your emotions, you can pay off your debt and create financial abundance.
Are Your Finances a Mess? Money and Emotion – How do you react to spending, saving, or debt? “Intense emotional reactions can be linked to your beliefs and attitudes about money,” writes Christy Matta, MA. “You may have learned from early experience the value of self-denial and self-deprivation in money matters. Or maybe money was always taboo in your home. Or you received messages that you should feel guilty about money (“only the poor go to heaven”) and that money was unstable and scary (“you could wake up poor in the morning”).”
How Your Personality Affects Saving and Spending Habits – Learning your money psychology is a great way to separate your money from your emotions. How did your parents invest money? Spend money? Talk about money? That directly affects your own attitudes toward money – for better or worse.
The Emotional Cost of Debt – “There is a clear link between financial issues and depression,” says Emma Keane, a psychotherapist who works with both individuals and families. “But people don’t always make the link themselves. Sometimes you get people coming in saying, ‘I’m feeling low. I’m feeling depressed’, and they don’t say why. Then we look at the external factors and see redundancy or debt in the background. People need to acknowledge their problems and what they’re feeling about them in order to move on.”
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When It’s Not Smart to Loan Money to Someone You’re Close to – If you find yourself lending money to boyfriends, girlfriends, or family members for emotional reasons, it may be time to step back and reassess whether you’re really helping them.
The Emotional Minefield of Women and Money – “Achieving greater peace-of-mind about money begins with understanding,” says psychotherapist Susan Stephenson. “After truthfully assessing your actual financial circumstances and opening yourself to change, some options include personal reflection, talking with friends, reading books, or seeking help from a professional. The goal is to explore your life circumstances (family history and role models) and uncover the oft-hidden messages that influence you from within and without.”
How to Ask for a Raise at Work With Confidence – A crucial time to separate money from emotions is when you’re talking to your boss about a salary increase! “If you’re in a job that has fixed pay scales, be familiar with how you can move to the next level,” writes Barrett in The Smart Cookies’ Guide to Making More Dough and Getting Out of Debt. “Remember that some positions are locked into a salary or, at least, a salary range – if you’re part of a union, for example – so find out what you can do to advance to the next level as quickly as possible.”
Financial Goals – 10 Best Ways to Break the Debt Cycle – Are you tired of the emotional drain that debt causes? Start setting and achieving your financial goals with my best ways to break the debt cycle.
What do you think – are your emotions entangled with your spending or saving habits? Comments welcome below…
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If you need relationship help, get Mort Fertel's 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage - and FREE advice, no strings attached.