These reasons you’re a more beautiful woman than you think are inspired by two authors of books about women and beauty. I also sprinkled several quotes about beautiful women throughout the article – not only to help you see yourself more clearly, but also to help change how you think about yourself. For as you think, so shall you be.
“You are 20% more beautiful to other people than yourself – the woman you see in the mirror every morning,” says Eva Ritvo, MD, co-author of The Beauty Prescription: The Complete Formula for Looking and Feeling Beautiful. “Why? Because when you look at your reflection, all you see is your physical form, and all you’re doing is looking for flaws. But when others see you, they also take in your personality, style, intelligence, sex appeal, wit…the entire you.”
Isn’t that wonderful? When people look at you, they’re seeing a deeper, more interesting you than you see when you’re flinching from that closeup you get every morning while putting on the mascara, eyeliner, powder. Or pulling out the hairs from your chinny-chin-chin (which I do less often than I should!). Whenever you start getting down on your appearance, remember these reasons why you’re far more beautiful than you think…
Being a beautiful woman isn’t about how you look, it’s about how you act. Beauty is what shines out of you, not what you put on your face, hair, or body. You know how you feel comfortable and happy around some women, because they just have a “good vibe” or “good energy”? That’s true beauty.
Believe it or not, you can even look beautiful without makeup because beauty is the sum total of your emotional wellness, spiritual health, cognitive clarity, personality, sense of humor, and attitude towards others.
7 Reasons You’re More Beautiful Than You Think
Science shows that beauty isn’t in the eye of the beholder, as people like to say. Sure, we all have different preferences when it comes to who a beautiful woman is (Catherine Zeta-Jones has always been in my Top 10 Beautiful Women in the World list – but she doesn’t make everybody’s list). We also have different preferences when it comes to cats versus dogs, coffee versus tea, sunflowers versus roses.
A beautiful face – man or woman – can actually be measured. The more symmetrical the face, the more beautiful it is perceived to be.
But don’t worry if you have a lopsided face, like I do. Instead, worry about what’s shining out of you, because your attitude, mood, and energy has more power over your appearance than whether or not you have lipstick on your teeth.
1. You treat people gently, with kindness and respect
“Charm…it’s sort of a bloom on a woman. If you have it, you don’t need anything else,” says J.M. Barrie. “If you don’t have it, it doesn’t much matter what else you have.”
I suspect you’re more charming than you think! Being charming means you give delight and pleasure, you arouse admiration and lovely feelings. You’re nice. People like being around you because you’re kind, positive, supportive, and encouraging. Those qualities make you a beautiful woman – and they affect your outward appearance more than you’ll ever know. How you act, what you say, and how you make people feel changes how they see you. You become more or less beautiful based on your own actions and words.
2. Your positive self-identity increases the energy and motivation of others
“A better self-image doesn’t pay the rent or cook supper or prevent nuclear war. Feeling better about ourselves doesn’t change the world by itself, but it can give us energy to do what we want and work for change.” – From Our Bodies, Ourselves for the New Century.
The healthier your self-identity is, the more positive you feel about yourself – regardless of how the world perceives you. This increases your energy and vitality, which in turn spurs you to take positive action. And this, my friend, makes you a more beautiful woman. Having a healthy self-identity and positive energy not only motivates you to make changes in your life, it affects the energy and motivation of the people around you.
The key? Base your self-identity on something that never changes – a constant source of healthy love, grace, compassion, freedom, peace, and joy. What is that thing, I wonder?
Hmmm….oh, I know! Jesus. If your self-identity is based on God’s view of you, then the love of the light of the world will shine through you. And nothing is more beautiful than that.
3. Your personality is eye-catching than you realizing
“It’s beauty that captures your attention; personality that captures your heart.” – Unknown.
This reason why you’re more beautiful than you think is backed by scientific research: the kinder, more compassionate, and more reliable you are, the more attractive you are perceived to be. You don’t realize how your “beauty quotient” rises and falls, based on your personality. And yes — you have a good personality! Just ask your mother, your grandma, and all the other people who love you deeply and dearly. Don’t worry about the rest; they don’t know anything about you.
4. Your body shape and size doesn’t make you a beautiful woman
“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical,” said Sophia Loren.
Sure, she was one of the most beautiful women in history – and her beauty secret wasn’t just gorgeous lips, black glossy hair, and huge almond-shaped eyes. (ok, who are we kidding…Sophia Loren is an objectively beautiful woman!). But take it from her: she KNOWS that true beauty comes from your heart, not what you look like on the outside. You’re more beautiful than you think because of your eyes, which are windows to your soul.
What’s in your soul? How is your spirit? That’s what beauty from the inside out is all about.
5. Your imperfections make you a more beautiful woman
“Some beautiful things are more impressive when left imperfect than when too highly finished,” says La Rochefoucauld.
Your flaws and weaknesses make you more endearing, charming, likable, approachable, and beautiful! When I studied psychology, I learned that women who make mistakes are significantly more likable than people who appear perfect. We can’t connect with perfect women – especially when they’re objectively beautiful – but we like and love women who are real. This is one of the most interesting things about being a likable person, not just a beautiful woman.
6. You don’t try to be perfect, because you know it’s fruitless
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people,” says one of my favorite authors, Anne Lamott. “It will keep you insane your whole life.”
I think Lamott was referring to writing books in this quote – it’s not a quotation about being a beautiful woman – but I’m liberating it. It’s one of my favorite tips to help women be happy about the way their bodies look.
You’re a smart woman, you know you’re not perfect, and you know it’s silly to compare your body and face to the airbrushed perfection of the models in women’s magazines. And you’re too smart and busy to waste your energy on fruitless pursuits! So you stay away from perfection, and you focus on growing spiritually and emotionally healthier and more grounded.
7. You know the rich beauty of your own spirit and soul
“People are like stained-glass windows,” says psychologist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. “They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
You’re more beautiful than you think because you’re more self-aware than you give yourself credit for! Sure, sometimes you don’t want to admit stuff to yourself or others…but you know it. Sure, sometimes you ignore your intuition and make a poor choice…but you look back. You learn. You grow. And you know that how you act when you’re stressed, frustrated, angry or depressed makes you more (or less) beautiful than wearing all the makeup or undergoing all the cosmetic surgery in the world.
The best part? You forgive your mistakes and give yourself freedom to grow. Why? Because you know you’ve been forgiven, you rest in the knowledge that you were created in God’s beautiful and powerful image, and you are free to love in peace and live in joy.
My favorite book about being a beautiful woman
“Though my body’s not perfect, I’m not at peace with it,” says Joanne in This Is Who I Am: Our Beauty in All Shapes and Sizes. “What are my favorite parts? My brain – a well-oiled machine that absorbs wisdom and experiences and never seems to take a break; my legs and feet that take me miles to my destination; my smile that reveals when I’m happy; but most of all, my mother’s eyes and hands and my father’s nose and lips, which tell me I’m theirs when I look in the mirror.”
Rosanne Olson took 54 portraits of women that are striking, beautiful, and real to create This Is Who I Am: Our Beauty in All Shapes and Sizes. The bodies in this book have been shaped by the full sweep of the feminine experience – from age to breast cancer to skin color to body size and shape – and the result is a beautiful tribute to contemporary womanhood. The women in this book are aged 19 to 95, of all sizes and shapes, ethnicities, and life experiences. Their common bond? They were willing to expose their naked physical forms and glimpses into their identities as women.
And you…do you struggle with the thought that you’re more beautiful than you think? Read How to Feel Beautiful No Matter What You Look Like.
May you let go of whatever is holding you back from Blossoming into who God created you to be. May you find peace, healing, joy, love, light and beauty in the glorious salvation of Jesus Christ…and may your beauty shine from your very spirit and soul.
What is your favorite part of your body, mind, spirit, heart, or soul? Your thoughts – big and little – are welcome in the comments section below!
Need encouragement? Sign up for my weekly "Echoes of Joy" email - it's free, short, and energizing. Like me! Is your relationship in trouble? Get 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage from relationship coach Mort Fertel. It's free and helpful, no strings attached.