How Soon Should You Adopt Another Cat?

Should you get a new cat or kitten after the loss or death of your own cat? If you feel guilty, sad, or confused about adopting another cat or even buying a kitten from a pet store, you’re not alone. Here are a few things to help you decide if it’s too soon to adopt a cat.

should I get another cat after my cat died“I hear many people say they don’t want to replace a cat they’ve lost,” says Sandra on Healing Your Heart When You Miss Your Cat. “But honestly, adopting another kitten was the only thing that made me feel whole again. We waited 11 months after Cooper died before we brought home our new kitten, but that entire time the house felt empty without a cat. It took some time for the initial shock and pain to abate, and to deal with my husband’s sudden health crisis…but a house isn’t a home and a family isn’t whole without a cat. For me, it’s never too soon to get another cat.”

Is it too soon for you to adopt another cat? Everyone is different…and you need to find your own answer. Your circumstances are unique, and you are the only person who can make this decision. Do you have other cats or pets who are lonely without your lost cat? Animals grieve their friends, and they don’t like to be alone. Another consideration is your personality, lifestyle, and home situation. You may also be coping with guilt or shame over the loss of your cat. And finally, thinking about whether you should get a kitten or an adult cat is also important! Lots of things to consider. Here, you’ll find a few thoughts that will help you make this decision.

You’re searching for tips or help deciding if you should get another cat, which tells me that if you’re not ready right this second, you will be soon. I believe the very thought “should I get another cat?” means you love having furry friends at home. Your home feels empty and sad without your cat, and you know that having a pet is comforting, healthy, and fun. Let’s face it: animals are awesome! Until they die. That’s their worst quality.

Should You Get a Cat After Your Cat’s Death?

The most important thing is to work through your feelings of guilt, grief, and pain over the loss of your cat. This doesn’t mean your heart needs to be totally healed – because that will never happen. We never, ever “get over” the grief of losing a cat. Especially if we played some role in our cat’s death.

You are not alone. Even more importantly, you have nothing to feel guilty for. Part of healing after the loss of your cat is forgiving yourself, accepting that your cat is gone, and opening your heart to love another beautiful creature.

When you get another cat or adopt a kitten, you’re giving a beautiful animal a home. This cat needs somewhere to live, and you need a cat to love…what could be wrong with that?

Remember that getting a cat is part of the healing process

If you waited until you fully grieved your cat’s death or loss, you’d never be ready to adopt another pet. It’d always be “too soon” to get another cat. To heal your heart after pet loss, you need an infusion of love, hope, light and life.

“I highly recommend getting a new cat after your cat’s death,” says Julie on Comforting Prayers After the Loss of a Beloved Pet. “Another cat will never take the place of the cat you just lost, but in a matter of days or weeks, this new cat will love you unconditionally. A cat will demand attention, demand feeding and demand lots of your time. You won’t be able to help starting to fall in love with the little guy! He will never replace your past cat, but he can fill the void left from your cat’s death. Cat death is not quite so hard if you have some other little cat who wants to cuddle and kiss your face.”

Honor your cat’s death by living in the moment

“To adopt a new cat is to honor all your previous pet has taught you about unconditional love and living in the moment, not ‘forgetting about them.’” says Sid Korpi, author of Good Grief: Finding Peace After Pet Loss.

“I cannot feel as though I’m betraying his/her memory by moving on if I ask my dead cat’s spirit to help me find the next exactly right-for-me cat who needs my love and a good home. Then I sit back and trust that when the time is right, that former cat ‘angel’ will play matchmaker between that next new four-legged/two-winged family member and me.”

Need encouragement?

Sign up for my free weekly Blossom Tips!

* indicates required

It’s never too soon to trust your intuition about getting a cat

When you think about adopting a kitten or cat, do you feel a red light or a green light? Do you feel a “yes” or a “no”?

How Soon Should You Adopt Another CatTune in to your intuition, your gut instincts. You know yourself better than anyone, which is why nobody can tell you if you should get another cat after your cat dies. You know your routine, personality, health, home, and lifestyle. Try not to overthink the “is it too soon to get another cat?” question, and trust yourself.

I have two dogs and one cat. I formally adopted the second dog after a trial period of four nights, to see if she’d fit in with our existing dog and cat. My husband didn’t really want to get another pet, but it was a crisis situation…and we discovered fairly quickly that yes, it we wanted to adopt another animal.

Consider fostering a cat or kitten for a week, to help you decide if you should actually adopt another animal. I think this is one of the best ways to know if it’s too soon to get another cat – second only to trusting your intuition!

If you get a cat – allow her to be her own “person”

“It can be a mistake to get a new cat too soon,” says Flo on Living Without Your Cat. Her kitten’s death affected her deeply. “Allow yourself to grieve over the cat you lost, and to grow accustomed to being without him. When Punkin died, I got two littermate kittens the very same day. Big mistake! I did not allow myself to grieve over my kitten Punkin, and that might be why it took me so long to come to terms with her death. If you get a new cat, don’t look at it as a replacement for the one you lost. He deserves to be treated as his own cat self.”

Don’t compare your cats to each another

Some people think it’s better not to get the same color, sex or breed as the cat whose death you’re dealing with. Others love a certain breed, and can’t imagine living with another type! Again, it depends on each person. But one thing is the same for everyone: don’t compare your cat.

You may think things like, “Kitty Cat Coco would never pee on the carpet” or “Fluffy Feline” always came when I called.” Getting a cat is like parenting, and it’s good to remember that, like children, no two cats are alike. They have their own habits, personalities, tastes, quirks, strengths, and weaknesses, and they should be loved for their unique selves.

What do you think? Is it too soon to get another cat, or are you ready? Tell me how you feel in the comments section below. Writing your thoughts is a fantastic way to process and make a decision, and can be one of the best ways to decide if you should get a kitten or a cat.

Let your cat go – and heal your heart

Kitty Comfort Coping With Cat LossI wrote Kitty Comforts: Help and Hope for Coping With the Loss of Your Cat for you – my fellow cat lovers. Saying goodbye and letting go of my beloved animals is one of the most painful parts of my life, and in this ebook I share what helped me heal.

Give yourself time and space to say farewell to your cat. Grieve the way you need, and allow your heart to heal in its own time. You may be ready to open your home and heart to welcome a new cat…and your spirits will be lifted when you accept the companionship of others.

Life without your cat is a sad adjustment of heart and home. Whether your loss was a planned or accidental, you’re grieving the end of a season of your life…and you’ll never be the same.

How are you feeling? Your stories and thoughts about grief and your cat’s death are welcome below. It’s good to write about your experience – not only does writing help you heal, it also shows other sad cat owners that they’re not alone.

Blessings, with sympathies,




Share your thoughts below. I don't give advice, but you can click here to get my free weekly "Blossom Tips" email. It's short, sweet and encouraging - you'll love it!

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

54 thoughts on “How Soon Should You Adopt Another Cat?

  • Sasha

    I lost my baby cat yesterday afternoon. She was barely one year old. I have 2 older cats who are doing just fine. My baby cat Vitamin was brought into my life as an emotional support animal while I was going through rather tough times and she was the only one among my pets who actually loved being coddled and hugged, she was the pet I was closest to. Her death was unexpected and tragic and it’s my very first time losing a pet to unnatural causes. I have no idea how to cope with this. I tried following my mom’s advice and petting the other 2 cats for a change- one of them was pretty snappy and hates being picked up, the other one dug her claws into me immediately. The whole reason I got Vitamin in the first place was because the 2 older cats weren’t interested in cuddling or hugs. I definitely feel broken and am still grieving for my baby cat- I raised her like my own child and couldn’t even bare to lay her to rest.
    I know deep down that I’ll need a support pet eventually. My mood right now is the sooner the better but I also know that I’m still grieving for Vitamin and it feels like I’m betraying her very memory by even considering getting a new cat. It’s just that I don’t know how else to cope except by hugging a furbaby. I’m very much aware that no other cat will have Vita’s personality or lovable nature, all cats have unique personalities. I’m really worried that it’s far too soon and that it feels like a betrayal and a replacement. It’s been slightly over 24 hours and I’m still grieving but friends suggest that having a new cat will give me enough responsibility to distract me from the loss while also pulling me out of depression and I too believe that it may be for the best. The idea of coming to a Vita-less house in the evening is miserable. I also feel like I wasn’t a good enough mom to her maybe I didn’t deserve her or any other pet. I did everything I could to save her but it was never enough and she’s gone.
    I broke down crying all over again when I mentioned to my parents that I wanted a new cat to hug and hold on to. I plan to visit a shelter tomorrow to see the pets there and judge for myself if I’m actually ready to adopt anew or still grieving and clinging to the precious lost one. But before I go, I’d like to have your opinion as well on whether it’s actually too soon. And if it’ll ever get to a point where it doesn’t feel like a massive betrayal.

  • Jeff

    I got my cat when he was 2 years old from the shellter his name was Wendell and he is a black cat we hit it off. I always had cats when i was a kid and wanted to get a cat at this point in my life so i did years ago. My cat was no small cat he was 15-18 lbs heavy boned and fit he was a house cat most his life. once i left the city and moved to the country i started to let him out and he really enjoyed it he turned into a real mouse hunter. But the last 6-7 months he would come up on the couch and sit on my chest some time it would be hard to breath lol lol lol but i know he was just showing me his LOVE for me.
    But as time went on he kept doing the same thing for a long time every days for hours, But then i let him out one day and he went missing for 3 days that was the first time he ever did that i went looking for him every day i had some very sad thoughts maybe something happened to him but then he showed up and he seemed to be ok. He was back to him self but 7 weeks go by everything is still good he’s acting like a cat But on Sept 12-2017 we are spending time together on the couch watching TV and him sitting on my chest we sat there from 6pm to 2am but something did not seem right so rather then get up and go to bed we sat together for another hour. I would say his name and he would slowly turn his head He Passed Away in My Arms while sitting on the couch together. I was not ready for that he showed no signs of being sick he was eating and drinking lots of water. I am just torn apart blaming my self i keep asking my self what if, what if, what if………….My Cat’s Name is Wendell and he was my best friend and showed much love towards me he lived a good life from 2002 To Sept-12-2017 I wish he was still with me but he will live on in my heart and mind and bring tears of love when i talk about him and look at his photos. This is my fisrt loss of a pet and it is painful and hard to deal with.

    • Lisa

      Jeff, I’m so sorry for your loss! I lost a dog growing up. And we lost a cat (Tigger) 7 years ago and a cat (Phoenix) just yesterday. I have good moments and not so good moments. I keep looking at pictures and crying. In disbelief that she is no longer with us. But I know she is at peace and I know she felt true, deep, love with us. Hang in there.

  • Wendy

    Kashi, a beautiful black cat with a huge spirit in a little body..was taken one night…a nieghbor saw her in the mouth of a coyote as he took her to his lair. Poor Kashi, it must have been terrifying for her. I miss her every day and have her picture on my phone.
    I was recently tapped on the shoulder to temporarily care for a very old cat that was abandoned many years ago. He is now 20 years old! He roamed the neighborhood for so many years looking for food. Finally someone was able to get him to live in her apartment and she cared for him.. She has died and another has cared for him since February. Now this person is selling her home and needs someone to care for “Mr. White” for 3 weeks.
    I said I would, but feel as though I am betraying Kashi, bringing in another cat after only 3 weeks. I am going to do it. Poor cat..I wish he did not have to be shuttled from one place to another, so I will give him all the love I can. But I will keep Kashi always alive in my heart. so many tears……
    Thank you for this blog…It does help!

  • Kaylee

    -My cat’s dead.
    He had a urinary tract infection, and we had to get him unblocked. It cost 500 dollars to do. He got it again, it was too much money to pay, we didn’t have the ability to spend another 500 dollars on a procedure that didn’t work the first time.
    Mom came down to my room on March eleventh to tell me what was happening, she had just been on the phone with the vet. She tried to call my dad, over and over again, but he didn’t have any reception.
    I had to decide.
    I told my mom that we had to put him down. We didn’t have the money to hold on anymore, and Jake was hurting so bad.
    We had to go in at 2:30.
    I hated the waiting and I couldn’t help but count the minutes until I was to let someone put my baby to death.
    It was so stupid. I had worked so hard to keep him alive, I had never given up on him before. Why was I doing so now?
    I don’t like clocks very much anymore. All I can do is think of the waiting.
    I couldn’t stop crying.
    We went to the vets, just mom, dad and I. I had to decide whether or not I wanted his remains. I didn’t know. How are you supposed to decide what to do with something that hasn’t even died yet? It felt wrong, making plans for what to do after we’d killed him.
    The vet brought him in. He looked so happy to see us. He purred and rubbed against our legs and I couldn’t help but wonder why he wasn’t healthy. He looked okay to me. But the vet put him on the table and gave him a shot. I wanted to push her out of the way. I didn’t want him to die.
    But I let her do it and I held him as he calmed down and his reaction time got slower. I pet him, and I didn’t cry.
    After about fifteen minutes, she took him from me and brought him out of the room. They had to remove and then inject blood into his heart. My parents didn’t want me to watch.
    That’s when I cried. Mom and dad just held me. I couldn’t remember how to breathe.
    She brought him back. He felt heavier than I remember, His paws were no longer pink, instead, they were white and he felt so damn cold.
    He would never purr again, or lick me fingers, or lay on my feet or curl up on my chest or steal my stuffed animals. He would never breathe again.
    My little Jake was dead. And I had let him die.
    I read him a story from a book that I had been reading to him before, in our bathroom when he came home from the vets just days before.
    Red Umbrella and Yellow Scarf.
    Then I had to leave him. His cold little body on a cold little table, so that they could cremate his remains.
    I can’t cut up chicken or make pork cutlets or pour water in Minerva’s dish that now sits where Jakes used to.
    This house seems so empty and wherever I look, I know that he should be there. My bedroom seems so much less cozy than it used to.
    I cleaned my dresser and found the bell from his collar and almost had a mental breakdown.
    I miss him so much that my heart hurts and soul feels like it’s aching.
    Tess goes to bed and she has Minerva.
    I go to bed with a box of ashes on my bookshelf.
    Why did I let him die?
    Why did I let stupid reasons like money put a price on a life?
    I hate myself for it. I hate me.

    • Laurie Post author

      Kaylee, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your cat Jake is resting in peace, in between bouts of chasing butterflies in Heaven…but I know you’d rather have him here with you. Your heart is broken, and I can tell how much you loved him.

      The more we love our beloved cats, the worse it hurts when they leave us. They are such a big part of our lives, and we feel like it’s impossible to be happy again. Especially with all the reminders around home, in our bedrooms, in every part of the house!

      Thank you for sharing your story, because you’ve given Jake a permanent place in history. He lives on here in this blog post, and in our hearts as well as yours.

      I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, for healing from the pain and forgiveness for your self. May you realize you did the best you could with what you knew at the time. May you let go of the grief, and hold on to the beautiful memories of your beautiful cat Jake.

      In sympathy, with love,

    • Dave Shaver

      Dont feel bad Kaylee. You did all that you could. Jake’s in heaven now and still loves you and knows that you prevented a lot of suffering for him. You are a good person. Dont hate yourself, please. You are a good person and you love pets. Jake was very lucky to have you and is smiling down on you from heaven.

  • Laurie Post author

    Thank you for sharing how you’re coping with your cat’s death. There is nothing like the pain of pet loss — no matter how strong, smart, brave, or tough we are! Losing a cat is like losing a huge piece of our heart and soul. Cats accept and love us no matter what, and are consistently there for us. I love our cat, and I know I’ll be heartbroken when she dies.

    Give yourself time to heal. The grief of losing a cat you love real, and you may never fully recover. But if you’re gentle and kind to yourself through the grieving process, your heart will heal and you may even find yourself ready to adopt another cat. You may miss your lost cat’s presence and personality — and a new cat won’t take that place. But, you may find yourself ready to share your heart with another cat…and both your lives will be better for it!

    In sympathy, with faith and hope,

  • Peter Robertson

    I have just lost my cat 2 weeks ago and it was suddenly while playing. 3 years old was all he was. I have never felt pain like this. I sometimes think I will never get through this. I live alone and was always around as I also work from home. 3 years every day playing and caring. I can’t make sense of it. My pain hurts me so much. I don’t cry myself to sleep but I cry all day. I am a man who was a member of the armed forces and have been in tough situations but this is way more painful. I miss my Prince so much.

  • Caroline

    We just lost our beloved cat 4 days ago. We had him for 14 and 1/2 years, from the time he was about 3 months old. I have never loved an animal as much as I love my cat- same for my husband. We are both absolutely lost and devastated. It seems like the pain will never end.

  • zoya

    My daughter kitty name was Pari. Means angel. And she was truly an angel. Her first bath, her first kiss.. her milk bowl.. everything is a memory… i need her. I want her back… Only thing i asked my god was why my Pari… why she. When she played football with me, i promised her that i will play with her kittens too… she was nt kitten.. she was my daughter… she would place my finger in her mouth and see my reaction.. will i shout at her or raise my hand on her..? But i would just cuddle her. Sometime she was stubborn. Her first pee was on my own bed. She would climb on me n kiss me.. i didnt love anyone like that…. pray for my Pari…

  • zoya

    I lost my kitten today… n i cant resist the pain m going through… it was a fraction of second that it happened… i dont know how will i come over this pain.. but its irrisistable. I loved it like my own child. Took care of it like i could feel its heart mind and soul.. i could understand its need. It needed my lap to sleep, she wanted me ( only me ) to feed her.. she was just 35 days old. She could sense me , feel me.. she loved only blue ball… she would hold the ball in her hands and walk on two legs.. i loved her like anything… i just love her and miss her so much.. but i lost her today… as soon as m back to home from market or something, first thing she did was to hold me and just kiss my face.. she would ask me to hold the bottle and she also held at the same time.. n now she is not with me… and it s so painful… i wish i could trade my life for hers… i just wish she was here with me… !!!

  • Laurie Post author

    I’m sorry for your loss, Judith Ann. Adjusting to a home without a cat is painful and difficult, and it takes time. It sounds like you had such a sweet life with T’bear Sterling! Your description sounds so wonderful, and I know how sad it is to be without a cat. They bring such life and warmth to our homes, don’t they?

    I don’t think the pain of missing your cat ever truly goes away…I wish I could say you’ll heal completely from the grief and you’ll never feel sad about your T’bear Sterling…but I think we’ll always feel pangs of grief and sadness that we lost beloved animals. I have a cat and 2 dogs right now, and I love them deeply! And yet, I still think of the cats I’ve had in the past, and the dog…and my heart aches just a little.

    That’s what love is, I think. Bittersweet memories. Even when our cats are alive, there are bittersweet experiences – like the cat hair and furrballs and litterboxes! My dogs drive me nuts sometimes with their barking woof woof woof!

    Here’s another article that may help – especially the comments from other readers:

    How to Cope With the Pain of Missing Your Cat

    I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, for sympathy and healing, freedom and even joy as you grieve your loss and know that your beloved T’Bear Sterling is resting in peace. Your souls are forever united, and your spirits will join together again one day.

    In sympathy,

  • Judith Ann Cathey

    My Precious Little boy Tbear Sterling, Siberian passed recently just 3 /12 weeks ago. He truly was the love of my life and there is such a thing as loving to much. He was smart at a whip, ruled the house and like other posts was my alarm clock and relied on him every morning. Up at 5:30 am sometimes earlier, to get his treats, go outside too get some air, come back in wants his breakfast of wet food. He had dry food all day long should he need to snack. Then up on the coffee table to be brushed and brushed and brushed….pick him up to cuddle…now time for my coffee and he would lie down by me. As soon as the shower went on he would go to his room and settle on his perch to say hello to the neighbors walking their dogs….everyone said Good Morning Sterling!

    Home at night he would come running with his little bell jingling to say Hi Mom, he would wait by my bed so I could change clothes, then run to his room for his treats then back to the coffee table to be brushed, brushed, and brushed….now it’s time to go outside and wonder around or just lie in the front watching the squirrels or looking absolutely beautiful sitting just gazing.

    He would then come back in wanting to be brushed, brushed, and brushed and then cuddle on my lap. That was day in and day out until one day I brought home a new fish in a bowl. Oh my a new friend…..the water level kept going down on a daily basis until he was caught in the act drinking and going nose to nose with Maxie the fish….and of course he lost interest.

    When do I adopt a new little fur ball, do I get one or two and do I want all that hair all over the place again, and what do with all the cat trees, four beds all over the place when a new little guy/gall come to join Maxie and me…should I get all new stuff…..Sterling’s waterfall is still flowing, his dry food is still waiting to be eaten. I drew a Heart in his sand box waiting to see if Sterling has visited me…..he did however, jump up on the bed and then down again, he has woken me up in the am with his bell jingling and I hear his meows but ever so faintly…..I truly miss my little boy.

    When does the hurt in my heart go away?

    • Tiffany

      Reading this post truly made me cry and I am deeply sorry for your lost. I know how it feels to lose a furry friend and it hurts it really does. I lost my cat of 11 years (the cat grew up with me) in October and I was still sad and hurt by it months later it does take some time to heal the hurt but I realized that even though I did miss my other cat dearly that I needed another on I got my new cat about 2 months after I lost my first one. My new cat is not replacing my new cat I just came to realazion that another cat needed to have a loving home with someone to take care of it. If you want another cat you just need to wait until your ready. I believe my older cat Fuffly lead me to my new cat.

      Much love

  • Laurie Post author

    Dear Tiffany LeAnn,

    I’m sorry your cat Fluffy died, it’s so hard to say good-bye to a beloved pet! My cat was called Fluffy, too, and I still miss her. It’s been 15 years and I still love her…but I am also very much in love with my current cat Nunki and my two dogs, Georgie and Tiffy.

    I can’t tell you if you should adopt this cat because I don’t know you or how much time you need to grieve Fluffy’s death. But I do know that I’m so glad to have my pets in my life, and my home isn’t the same without animals! It’s different for everyone, but I’m one of those people who readily adopts new animals and can let go of my cats and dogs who have passed on. I believe God is holding them, that their spirits are alive, and that we’ll meet again one day. I also believe that animals here on earth need homes, and if we can open our homes and lives to a new pet, then we shouldn’t hesitate!

    What do you think — do you feel ready to get a cat?

    Also…is it possible to foster this new cat for a weekend? That may give you time to decide. That’s how I decided to keep my second dog, Tiffy 🙂 I was very clear that I would just keep her for 3 nights, and then make a final decision. Could you do that?

    Blessings, let me know what you decide! I’ll keep you in my prayers…

    – Laurie

  • Tiffany LeAnn

    I just recently lost my beloved cat Fuffly. I had him for 10 years ever since he was born. I knew something was wrong with him but I wasn’t sure what so I was going to take him to the vet to get him checked out in a few days but the night of October 1st when I got off of work he came up to me and I sat down and petted him and I knew, I knew that this was gonna be my last night with him. Something in me said something’s really not right so I spent all my time with him that night and in the morning when I woke on October 2nd I saw him laying there not moving and I knew something was really wrong so we took him to the vet and used there emergency services and they took him back and found out that he had cancer and it started to attack his liver. We had to put him down that day and I miss him so much. He was my king, my everything. I was thinking about getting another cat and I just never went out and looked for one but while I was working one of my coworkers were talking about how they can’t keep there cat because there mom is allergic and we started talking about him and he sounded like he looked like my fuffly. Her cat really does look like my Fuffly and she wants to give him to me and I really want to take the cat and give them the love they need. I know he will never replace my Fuffly. I just love that type of cat, it’s my favorite breed of cat. So I’m just wondering if I’m moving to fast because my cat died a month and a half ago or if this is a sign maybe that this is the cat who needs my love and care? Any advice would be great. Thank you ?

  • Laura

    Between September and December last year my I lost my 30 year human relationship and my two senior cats died within a month of each other. They had each battled chronic illnesses for a couple years, and I was emotionally exhausted after trying and trying to help them get better, and ultimately just providing as much comfort to each of them as I could. I was an emotional basket case for months, in a catch 22 situation of missing my cats and a feline presence so much, but terrified of getting another cat who would eventually get old and sick and die. I just didn’t think I could bear that pain again. I was very focused on my loss, and couldn’t shake it for the many months it took me to decide to take a one year old brother and sister pair of kitties from the shelter. Best thing I could have done for my well-being, and the cats made out pretty well too. I’m still overly cautious with them and a little neurotic about them getting sick, but my house feels so much more like my home again. These two are not in any way replacements for the cats I lost, who were irreplaceable and who stole my heart and didn’t give it back when they left. But this new generation of kitties is lovable in their own way, I am able to focus more what I have and less on what I lost. These cats are different from those cats, and yet there is a familiarity in behavior and in the bond we are forming among. I take great comfort in that. When the time was right, I just woke up one day thinking of the new lives I might bring into my home to help me move forward.

  • Leslie

    Nearly two months ago my family and I suffered from a great loss when we had to make the choice to put our dear Sammy to sleep. Sammy was 11 1/2 years old and was the most amazing cat. We adopted Sammy at 1 1/2 years old and was really unsure how he would fit into our family after the neglect and abuse he was forced to live in. It took about 6 months before he actually acknowledged any of us and from then on he was everywhere we were. Sammy came to our whistles and sat on command for treats he never once climbed on tables or counters. He loved to chase small bugs around but would cry at a mouse. He was a built in alarm clock demanding his breakfast at 4 am and ran through the house sounding like a herd of cows. Losing Sammy is heart breaking and although I have no intention on replacing my King Sammy I am considering getting a kitten and my oldest son(15 years old) is completely against my decision. I understand that getting a kitten will never bring my Sammy back but our home feels so incomplete. I don’t want to upset my son but I want us all to feel better and think we would benefit from the love of a kitten

  • Laurie

    Dear Cerrin,

    I don’t know what to say! I don’t know if you should adopt a new little kitten after you lost your cat Luna…I wish I had some magic words of advice, but I just don’t.

    Remember that a new kitten won’t fill the void Luna left. You’ll love your new cat, but in a different way. The question is, will you still feel alone and lonely even with a new kitten?

    I think the most important thing is to process your grief about losing Luna. Allow yourself to feel the pain and heartache – which I know you’ve done! Don’t expect a new cat to fill the void she left, because a new kitten will be totally her own self. She won’t be Luna.

    Is it possible to foster the kitten for a week or two, and see how you feel?

  • Cerrin

    Hi, in late May this year I lost My cat Luna. Unfortunately I didn’t get the long life with her as I hoped I would. She was only 2 years old, she left behind her two 1 year old kittens.
    She was honestly my rock, my best friend and my guardian angel. I got her just after I was discharged from hospital (I was there for depression and suicidal tendencies), I was really struggling so I decided to rescue her. It was the best decision I ever made.
    When I got Luna she was close to feral. She didn’t know how to play or to love. About 8 months later she had her accidental kittens, two boys, then she started to really changed. I managed to get her to play and then she started to love. We would have our cute little conversations and when I was sad she bit my leg, she did all these little things. I miss them so much.
    Together me and her made our improvements, we changed together. Without her I would not be here today, I loved her like she was my baby.
    I cannot express to you how much she meant to me, there are just not enough words.
    I’ve never gone through this big of a death before.
    I still have her boys and I also have a cat we rescued. But since her death I’ve just had this massive void left inside me, no matter how many hours I work or study I can’t fill the void.
    Her death has caused me so much pain and I miss her so so much. I replay the night she died over and over again in my head.
    I’ve been thinking about getting a kitten but I’m really not sure, I don’t know how to deal with it and my first thought was I need someone to help me through this rough time.. Just like Luna did. But I’m so stuck. I found the kitten I want, but I don’t know if I should get her or not.

    Basically I’m asking for your advise, anything you have to say please say! I have no idea what to do and I just need a little help. Thank you all!!!


  • Laurie Post author

    Dear KB,

    I’m sorry for your loss. Jacob was with you for such a long time – it’s hard to imagine life without him! I understand the feeling that a cat makes you feel whole. I feel the same way…I have a cat and two dogs, and can’t imagine life without them.

    I don’t know if it’s too soon for you to get a cat, because we all heal in different ways. It’s 100% possible that adopting another cat will help you grieve Jacob’s death and be happy again! I know I’d get another pet fairly quickly after losing mine.

    If you feel like you want to get another cat because you have room in your heart to love and cherish him or her, then I think you need to listen to that still small voice and do what you feel is right. Just remember that getting a cat won’t replace Jacob — your new cat will be very different in personality and habits.

    Another possibility is fostering a cat. This might be a more gentle way to ease your way into another pet after your cat’s death.

    My condolences on your loss…and I admire your bravery and big heart! There is another cat out there who is waiting just for you and the comfort, love, and companionship you offer.


  • KB

    Just a short time ago I had to put Jacob, my cat of 17 years, to sleep. Already I feel lost and lonely without him. I’ve considered looking for a new cat very soon, probably the next day or two. I feel having a cat makes me whole. Am I rushing it?

    • Richard Beman

      Hello and I am deeply sorry for you loss. My advice is to wait a bit. Yesterday I cried more than I ever had in my life. My 23 year old Tuxedo cat ( Mitzi ) passed away from a combination of renal failure and the ravages of old age.. The day before she died she purred when I held her and never failed to struggle to use her litter box. She was a strong willed cat and every time she looked into my eyes she said “I love you for taking good care of me”. I have had other cats, but this has been by far the hardest for me to deal with. We had total love of each other, which is irreplaceable. Bear in mind, I am no stranger to loss. My parents, aunt died horribly from cancer and many friends have passed away. I am a young 63, but I don’t think my heart can tolerate another cat loss. If you are a younger person, you may be stronger. God bless you and good luck..

      • Gail Peplinski

        I feel the same as you Richard. My tabby cat Sophie accidentally got out and ran away exactly one month ago today. I have never grieved so hard in all my life. I have no closure. I don’t know if my poor 64-year-old body can tolerate another grief like this one. I am a young 64 but my heart can’t take it. I keep imagining all the awful things that might have happened to her. I did all my due diligence trying to find her. She was my fifth cat in 40 years. I think I am done with pets.

  • Laurie

    Thank you for being here, and sharing your experiences. I know your courage and honesty will help other people decide if they should get a cat after their beloved one died. It’s such a difficult decision, and I don’t think we ever know for sure if we’re ready to open our hearts again until after we adopt a cat.

    May you find healing and peace, and may you know when the time is right to get a cat after yours passes.

    In sympathy,

  • Heidi

    My cat died of old age and I went and bought a new kitten. It was too soon, I just couldn’t love the new kitten and it wasn’t fair so I rehomed it. Now I feel terrible. I have lost my beloved cat and gave away a kitten because I couldn’t love it. Please do not rush out and try to find another cat to love without thinking of the consequences. You need to heal and grieve. Then when you are ready you can get another. Some people can do it, I just wanted to let you know how that backfired on me. The kitten is happy in his new home and loved as he should be. Wasn’t the right kitten or timing for me.

  • Jerry

    My cat died last night. He was only 7 months old but all the time I spent with him was amazing. He never jumped on kitchen shelf or eat anything without my permission. He never pee on the carpet even when he was ver little. He borned in my house and since then we raised him. Its only 7 month but I cant tell how much pain I am feeling at the moment. I cried all night and still I miss him. He was fine until my blind neighbor drove his car on to him. Its was not that bad from outside but he struck badly from inside. His kidney failed and since last 4 days he didnt eat anything. I tried continuously to feed him water or something but nothing worked on him..He was nice cat and even if I get a new cat no one can take his place. I wish we had spent some more time together

  • Phyllis

    It has only Ben an hour since we buried Hobbes.i feel like I wish it were me. We can never measure up to the wonderful beings they are I have two more cats, one is Hobbes brother, and a Dennis the menace named stitch.he is 4. Also 2golen rescues. I feel hollow and empty. I know I gets a little easier bout this is the worst ever. This sucks. Pang x