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Are You Ready to Adopt Another Cat?

Should you adopt a new cat or kitten after the death of your own cat? If you feel guilty, sad, or confused about getting another cat or even buying a kitten from a pet store, you’re not alone. Here are a few things to help you decide if you’re ready to adopt a furry friend.

should I get another cat after my cat died“I hear many people say they don’t want to replace a cat they’ve lost,” says Sandra on Healing Your Heart When You Miss Your Cat. “But honestly, adopting another kitten was the only thing that made me feel whole again. We waited 11 months after Cooper died before we brought home our new kitten, but that entire time the house felt empty without a cat. It took some time for the initial shock and pain to abate, and to deal with my husband’s sudden health crisis…but a house isn’t a home and a family isn’t whole without a cat. For me, it’s never too soon to get another cat.”

Is it too soon for you to adopt another cat? Everyone is different…and you need to find your own answer. Your circumstances are unique, and you are the only person who can make this decision. Do you have other cats or pets who are lonely without your lost cat? Animals grieve their friends, and they don’t like to be alone. Another consideration is your personality, lifestyle, and home situation. You may also be coping with guilt or shame over the loss of your cat. And finally, thinking about whether you should get a kitten or an adult cat is also important! Lots of things to consider. Here, you’ll find a few thoughts that will help you make this decision.


You’re searching for tips or help deciding if you should get another cat, which tells me that if you’re not ready right this second, you will be soon. I believe the very thought “should I get another cat?” means you love having furry friends at home. Your home feels empty and sad without your cat, and you know that having a pet is comforting, healthy, and fun. Let’s face it: animals are awesome! Until they die. That’s their worst quality.

Should You Adopt a New Cat or Kitten?

The most important thing is to work through your feelings of guilt, grief, and pain over the loss of your cat. This doesn’t mean your heart needs to be totally healed – because that will never happen! We never, ever “get over” the grief of losing a cat, especially if we feel guilt about your cat’s death.

You are not alone. Even more importantly, you have nothing to feel guilty for. Part of healing after the loss of your cat is forgiving yourself, which involves accepting that your beloved pet is gone and opening your heart to love another furry friend.

Whether you adopt a rescue cat or even buy a kitten from a pet store, you’re giving a beautiful animal a home. This cat needs somewhere to live, and you need a furry friend to love. The only reason to hesitate is if you don’t feel your heart is healed from the loss of your previous cat.

Adopting a new cat can be part of the grieving and healing process

If you wait until you fully grieve your cat’s death, you’d never be ready to adopt another cat. It’ll always feel “too soon” to get another cat.

“I highly recommend getting a new cat after your cat’s death,” says Julie on Comforting Prayers After the Loss of a Beloved Pet. “Another cat will never take the place of the cat you just lost, but in a matter of days or weeks, this new cat will love you unconditionally. A cat will demand attention, demand feeding and demand lots of your time. You won’t be able to help starting to fall in love with the little guy! He will never replace your past cat, but he can fill the void left from your cat’s death. Cat death is not quite so hard if you have some other little cat who wants to cuddle and kiss your face.”

Honor your cat’s life by sharing your heart and home

“To adopt a new cat is to honor all your previous pet has taught you about unconditional love and living in the moment, not ‘forgetting about them.’” says Sid Korpi, author of Good Grief: Finding Peace After Pet Loss.

“I cannot feel as though I’m betraying his/her memory by moving on if I ask my dead cat’s spirit to help me find the next exactly right-for-me cat who needs my love and a good home. Then I sit back and trust that when the time is right, that former cat ‘angel’ will play matchmaker between that next new four-legged/two-winged family member and me.”

Trust your instincts about adopting a new cat

When you think about adopting a kitten or cat, do you feel a red light or a green light? Do you feel a “yes” or a “no”?

How Soon Should You Adopt Another CatTune in to your intuition, your gut instincts. You know yourself better than anyone, which is why nobody can tell you if you should get another cat after your cat dies. You know your routine, personality, health, home, and lifestyle. Try not to overthink the “is it too soon to get another cat?” question, and trust yourself.


I have two dogs and one cat. I formally adopted the second dog after a trial period of four nights, to see if she’d fit in with our existing dog and cat. My husband didn’t really want to get another pet, but it was a crisis situation…and we discovered fairly quickly that yes, it we wanted to adopt another animal.

Consider fostering a cat or kitten for a week, to help you decide if you should actually adopt another animal. I think this is one of the best ways to know if it’s too soon to get another cat – second only to trusting your intuition!

If you get a cat, allow her to be her own “person”

“It can be a mistake to get a new cat too soon,” says Flo on Living Without Your Cat. Her kitten’s death affected her deeply. “Allow yourself to grieve over the cat you lost, and to grow accustomed to being without him. When Punkin died, I got two littermate kittens the very same day. Big mistake! I did not allow myself to grieve over my kitten Punkin, and that might be why it took me so long to come to terms with her death. If you get a new cat, don’t look at it as a replacement for the one you lost. He deserves to be treated as his own cat self.”

Don’t compare your cats to each another

Some people think it’s better not to get the same color, sex or breed as the cat whose death you’re dealing with. Others love a certain breed, and can’t imagine living with another type! Again, it depends on each person. But one thing is the same for everyone: don’t compare your cat.

You may think things like, “Kitty Cat Coco would never pee on the carpet” or “Fluffy Feline” always came when I called.” Getting a cat is like parenting, and it’s good to remember that, like children, no two cats are alike. They have their own habits, personalities, tastes, quirks, strengths, and weaknesses, and they should be loved for their unique selves.

What do you think? Is it too soon to get another cat, or are you ready? Tell me how you feel in the comments section below. Writing your thoughts is a fantastic way to process and make a decision, and can be one of the best ways to decide if you should get a kitten or a cat.

Let your cat go – and heal your heart

Kitty Comfort Coping With Cat LossI wrote Kitty Comforts: Help and Hope for Coping With the Loss of Your Cat for you – my fellow cat lovers. Saying goodbye and letting go of my beloved animals is one of the most painful parts of my life, and in this ebook I share what helped me heal.

Give yourself time and space to say farewell to your cat. Grieve the way you need, and allow your heart to heal in its own time. You may be ready to open your home and heart to welcome a new cat…and your spirits will be lifted when you accept the companionship of others.

Life without your cat is a sad adjustment of heart and home. Whether your loss was a planned or accidental, you’re grieving the end of a season of your life…and you’ll never be the same.

How are you feeling? Your stories and thoughts about grief and your cat’s death are welcome below. It’s good to write about your experience – not only does writing help you heal, it also shows other sad cat owners that they’re not alone.

Blessings, with sympathies,

Laurie


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99 thoughts on “Are You Ready to Adopt Another Cat?”

  1. We lost our beloved cat Buster two nights ago. He was my first pet, my children’s first pet, and for whatever reason I have never felt comfortable with animals of any type. My 10yo son and 12yo daughter convinced me that they were responsible enough to care for a pet, and after a long search we came across Buster… a purebred ragdoll kitten that I did think was pretty cute, but oh my gosh was I clueless as to how he would completely steal my heart. I went from being fearful of animals to being the crazy cat lady 🙂 The way he bonded with my children melted my heart and he bought us immense joy.
    I didn’t desex Buster immediately. Then I felt guilt and shame for not doing it when I should have, so I was too embarrassed and nervous to contact a vet and book him in for the procedure. Buster got out at night, numerous times, and finally I contacted the vet and booked him in to be desexed. The vets were lovely, my fears were unfounded, and I was counting the days till the procedure in the hope that he’d stay in at night and be safe once he’d been desexed.
    We didn’t make it to the procedure date. There was a knock at the door and someone that knew us and had seen the accident was standing there telling me that my baby had been hit by a car. He had horrific injuries, awful awful unspeakable injuries, and he was still alive. The race to the vet was like it was in slow motion. Praying for our sweet boy to pass so that his pain would be over, knowing without a doubt that he could not survive but lying to myself that he might be ok. My poor 13yo daughter holding him on the way with my top wrapped around his head and me repeating over and over while we all sobbed and raced to the vets to ‘not look at his face, don’t look at his face, promise me you won’t look at his face. So traumatic that I know that image will be with me for life. And it was MY fault.
    We stayed with Buster while he was put to sleep. We said our goodbyes through shock and disbelief and agonising heartbreak.
    Buster was loved on us all every day on every way, we adored him, he adored us, there was so much love. But I was an irresponsible pet owner, and it cost my cat his life in a painful, shocking and traumatic way. The guilt will remain forever and deservedly so.
    Please. If your cat became ill, had a disease, passed from old age, or if there was an accident, please please don’t blame yourself. Busters death was not an ‘accident’, he should have been safe indoors and he wasn’t. 18 months of pure joy gone in an instant, far too young to go.
    We are blessed to have pets, they are blessed to have us. Don’t blame yourself for something that wasn’t your fault. And if it was your fault, now you know better you will do better.
    Not even sure why I wrote this. I’m missing him so bad and I’m lost, scared, gutted, shattered, needed to get it out of my head a bit

  2. i lost my cat suddenly and painfully after 7 years together , i feel a bit guilty and i feel responsible for her death .. i sprayed pesticides cuz we had a bug problem she was in the room while i sprayed , i took her out because she didn’t want to leave the room , she wanted to hunt the pests .. she was fine for a day with no sign of any poisoning , she played , slept on my lap , she suddenly collapsed and seizured suddenly and died in a minute in front of me i feel sad and shocked.. i lost my fiona that way i feel so bad , she was 9 years old .. she was unique, she actually knows how to open doors , and she was sweet and calm , i don’t know what to do .. it’s been 2 days since she passed i’m so lost i can’t sleep without crying the feeling is so painful 💔

  3. I lost my baby Boots on June 24, 2019. She was an inside cat and never wanted to go outside. Until one day she got out. For days I was looking for her until finally she showed up. She didn’t want to come to me, which I found strange. I had to get my 12 yr old daughter to grab her. I got her inside and didn’t think nothing of it until she wasn’t herself after a few days of being back inside. I should of took her to the vet, but I just thought she ate something and it made her sick. But it was worse than that. Monday night was the worse night I ever had. She wasn’t eating, or drinking and she was skinny. I tried everything I could to help her get some strength but nothing worked and when she couldn’t hold up her head I knew I had to take her. Plus she threw up the food she did eat. When I got to the vet, they checked her. And told me she could have feline leukemia/aids. I cried so much because I knew I was not going home with her. They ran the test and it came back positive. I held her close to my heart and gave her so many kisses. It was a hard decision to say yes to putting her down. She was my baby my cat. No one was able to hold her or even pet her. (That’s why I thought it was strange she let my 12 yr old grab her) I saw her come out of her mom, and nursed her back to health when her mama’s nipples was too sore to nurse. She knew when I was upset, she was the first one to greet me in the morning, when I got home and before I went to bed, she even laid on my lap, and would always get in the way of my phone when she wanted attention. I spoiled her because she would always go to the table while we was eating dinner. (No, she wouldn’t get on the table, because she knew better). She had two sets of kittens before I got her sprayed. (And I thought that was to help them live longer) I still have one of her cats from her first litter. And my ex has the dad of him. She would of been 4 tomorrow. She was born the same year as my youngest daughter. And was with me through everything. I don’t know if I can get another kitten. Part of me does. And part of me doesn’t. When I was about to do laundry the other day I saw the last shirt I wore when I held her. I cried as if it just happened. All I can think of is how she looked at me when the vet took her in that blanket. And she kept asking me if I wanted her body. My ex told them I couldn’t handle that. Which he was right I couldn’t. I know she is no longer in pain. Because before I took her to the vet, it felt like she was telling me “mommy I’m in pain.” This house doesn’t feel the same without her. I no longer have her to give me any kisses in the morning, when I come home or before I go to bed, no longer have her to lay on my lap, sit by me at the dinner table when we eat, push her way between me and my phone (lol), or to hold close when I wasn’t ok. My heart is hurting so much since then. Because she was my everything. When I lost her, she took a piece of my heart with her. I wish this all was a dream and when I got her sprayed I wish the vet could of told me about the vaccines. When and if I get another kitty I will get her vaccines and keep up to date on them as well. Reading this article helped me to understand what I’m going through. And reading these comments helped me to understand I’m not alone. Thank you.

  4. I lost my beloved Bob a few days ago. We had each other for 19 years. I have never ever felt so sad and alone. The grief seems endless. I cry like a baby and it seems like it comes in waves.

    I don’t think I can live happily without a cat but unfortunately I can’t financially afford one.

    Thank you for all the help I am receiving from this.

  5. I’m so lost without my buddy. We met January 5th 2017 and it was love at first sight for the both of us until his passing on May 14th, 2019. Since Francisco, I adopted two more cats and literally had a family and his passing has had a profound effect on the household. My other two cats are not light and vibrant like they were and although it’s only been a couple days, I’m starting to feel the familiar Heartstrings being tugged that are saying I have a lot of love to give and that I could provide for an amazing creature of God that is just waiting for me.

    I tend to be a little symbiotic so my first name is Jamie my middle name Steven and my last name begins with the letter r and so I have remaining in the house Sabrina and Rize so I jokingly said the other day walking out of the Veterinary Clinic after the euthanasia that my next cat will begin with the letter j and damn it if the first cat that I find doesn’t begin with the letter j this way I can have a collection of my initials. Yes he is a look alike for Old Franny Man but I understand he is his own character and that we would develop our own relationship but I just don’t know if I’m ready or not…..

    Wow, what a Monday! (Sorry, it’s a Steven Sized Read folks….writing is my therapy )…….

    At 1649HRS, Central Daylight Time, in the Parish and City of New Orleans in the State of Louisiana…..

    Francisco George Roantes made his Vicissitude To Eternal Peace, crossing the fabled Rainbow Bridge and is at this hour in my mother’s care in heaven………

    Just beyond COMPREHENSION! How what why when where and who are all going through my mind right now and I just keep coming back to why! why-why! I AM JUST MAD WITH BLIND RAW EMOTION AS I MAKE THIS ENTRY

    When I woke up this morning, the third night in a row that my little man did not sleep in my and one of the only times that Mr Man was not at my left foot when I woke over the last three years, I knew something was wrong. I kept checking on him throughout the work day and as I suspected, the fluid had reaccumulated around his heart and lungs. I noticed over the weekend he slowly started to eat less and less each time he went to the Bowl and I cannot remember the last time I saw him use the litter box.

    I called my pastor, the Reverend Gregory T. Manning of Broadmoor Community Church, and got pastoral reassurance that what I was about to do was in accordance with our Church’s teachings. With all the bad stuff I’ve done in my life, didn’t want to add another one to the list…… he prayed for me over the telephone and I felt an amazing sense knowledge and direction befall me.

    When I came home from work at 3, he was laying on the bed and seemingly disinterested in what was going on in the house despite several attempts with interaction. His breathing was labored and rapid, so I called the vet and brought him in. As we were in the car and with Theresa driving, Francisco laid in the floorboard and just looked at me almost confused but seemed as though he was trying harder to comfort me and that this was his final Act of unconditional devotion to me. It was then I knew that this was going to be his last trip and that his Tour of Duty was coming to a titered end

    I don’t know how I did it, but I finally made the decision. Fran let me know this morning and confirmed what I already knew with his lifeless glance.

    Surrounded by the most amazing staff of Lakeview Animal Hospital, especially Dr. Admire and Ms. Gayle, Francisco’s godmama, I got to witness one of the most traumatic and scariest times in my life transition into an overwhelming moment of grace and pure love……….

    The entire experience was beautiful. After a confirmatory examination in the treatment room, they prepped Francisco with an IV while I went outside and smoked two or three cigarettes and absolutely lost it with Theresa.,

    When I went back inside, they had relocated Francisco to a special room filled with music and a fish tank and low soft lights…

    For the last little while, I have played some soft background music as we go to bed at night from my childhood, Pure Moods, so I spread out his favorite blanket and put some pillows down and then I put the music on via YouTube and he laid down beside me.

    They began the procedure of which the first step is sedation. Being a Christian, no living thing should ever be sent unto the Father until there be a blessing pronounced upon its head. I placed my hands 1 upon his heart and 1 upon his head, thus began my torturous lament mixed with gratitude for this amazing companion in my darkest days and a final set of pleadings with Almighty God, I commended my boy and committed him into His hands…

    They began his final mission procedure, surrounded by so much love for this damn cat, I placed my tear-stained head on his bold chest. Wis no less then four sets of hands on my back , I spooned my cat and I listened to my boy’s heartbeat fade away until I knew that the dreaded moment had come. As you can imagine, in true drag queen fashion, I let out a feInstinctual cries of agony clinging to my precious Lil Man…..

    I remember being so grateful at the same time for the entire experience and the cognizance that all the tension and pain that he was carrying was now absent from his lifeless body……

    After a few tender goodbyes & hugs mixed with kisses of gratitude and thanks, I made sure my boys eyes were closed and I gave him one final kiss . I stood there for what felt like years oh, almost like I was unable to leave the room. I prepared the final Arrangements and had to be practically pryed out of the building because I just didn’t know how to leave him. I held him one more time, wrapped up in Daddy Christopher’s blanket. I cut a sizeable corner from the blanket to put in his shadow box that I am going to prepare……..He was at rest and I comfortably devastated at the same time…….

    I am back home now and as is customary for me, I had to make an announcement. I have done it every time since Facebook was invented on whatever significant death in my life would occur. Never did I think I would have to post one of these for a cat. After all, he was just a cat. Right? No, this little orange bundle of fur was the revolutionizing bridge from which I crossed after the collapse of my abusive marriage. This little bundle of Love taught me everything that I know today about love. He taught me that it was okay to love again.

    Please please please, if you are unsure, (matters not if indoor or outdoor kitties; Fransisco never saw the outside) please get your animals checked for leukemia and immunodeficiency virus. I wouldn’t wish this torture upon anyone, much less our beloved furries……..

    Serving as one more signal of God’s grace, yes the very same God that I shook my hands at and cursed to Holy High Hell the other night, I was humbled to learn that the Teddy Bear Foundation made a $500 Grant in Francisco’s name, payable to Lakeview Animal Hospital for his medical expenses. WOW!!!!!!

    So blessed beyond measure in this moment of pain. Afterwards, I called my brother Alex Roantes and broke the news to him, as we both cried over panchito’s passing, has Alex has nicknamed him because of his gargantuan size as a result of his love of food combined with Papa’s pushoverness when it comes to him. So absolutely mind-blowing that this amount of love , across the continent, has been poured out for this amazing and unexpected feline…..

    Y’all, thank you so much for your words of wisdom and repetitive reassurance as I know I may have seemed a little extra over the course of this last week. I have never in my life, not a pet nor human, had to witness the last moments of existence. I guess it was my time, just as he decided it was his.

    Papa loves you Francisco….Go be with MaMaw Gail…..Aunt Sandra Smithbutler is your best chance at tablescraps lol

    Like my Sensei Deborah Schumacher declared the other day …… miracles do happen. I found Me when he chose me that blissful day on January 05, 2017…..2 years 4 months 16 hours and 49 minutes…..That’s how long it took me to grow up, provide endless love and sacrifice, and say my final utterances of devotion for this Gift from On High that was placed in my stewardship……Thank you Lord…… throughout 12 years of education as a kid and the completion of my degree program, and during the beginning stages of my master’s program, never have I learned more and received more precious of an education as I have this last week…..

  6. How old did she get? Going thru a similar situation right now, but can’t really even imagine getting another.

  7. I just lost my sweet baby, Lacey, yesterday after battling liver failure. She was my everything. I got her when I was 12 and she was three weeks old. Her mother has died shortly after her birth and the owners weren’t sure if she was going to make it since she was the runt. I adopted her and bottle fed her for weeks. Shortly after I struggled with heroin addiction. She was the only one who was there before, during, and after. She sat in my lap through the painful withdrawls each time I went through it after relapse. I dealt with a lot of issues the next few years and she was the only consistent thing in my life and loved me unconditionally despite everything.
    Her and I lived alone together, and now it’s just me. I miss her terribly, and I feel so lonely. I know that I want another cat, but I’m not sure when the right time is. I want to grieve my best friend’s death properly, but I feel that being alone at home will make me even more miserable.
    I’m wondering everyone’s opinion on when the right time would be to bring another furry friend home.

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