How Soon Should You Adopt Another Cat?

Deciding if you should you adopt a new cat or kitten after the death of your beloved animal isn’t easy. Some bereaved pet lovers feel guilty, sad, or confused about adopting a cat or buying a kitten from a pet store. Others are worried about opening their hearts to another experience of great love and loss.

“I hear many people say they don’t want to replace a cat they’ve lost,” says Sandra on Healing Your Heart When You Miss Your Cat. “But honestly, adopting another kitten was the only thing that made me feel whole again. We waited 11 months after Cooper died before we brought home our new kitten, but that entire time the house felt empty without a cat. It took some time for the initial shock and pain to abate, and to deal with my husband’s sudden health crisis…but a house isn’t a home and a family isn’t whole without a cat. For me, it’s never too soon to get another cat.”

Is it too soon for you to adopt another cat? Here are a few things to help you decide if you’re ready to open your home and heart to a new furry friend. Do you have other cats or pets who are lonely without your lost cat? Animals grieve their friends, and they don’t like to be alone. Another consideration is your personality, lifestyle, and home situation. You may also be coping with guilt or shame over the loss of your cat. And finally, thinking about whether you should get a kitten or an adult cat is also important! Lots of things to consider. Here, you’ll find a few thoughts that will help you make this decision.

You’re searching for tips and help deciding if you should get another cat, which means you really want to welcome another kitty into your heart. The very thought “should I get another cat?” means you love having furry friends at home! Your place feels empty and sad without your cat, and you know that having a pet is comforting, healthy, and fun.

The question is: how soon is too soon to get another cat after your cat died?

Deciding If It’s Time to Adopt Another Cat

should I get another cat after my cat died
How Soon Should You Adopt Another Cat?

The most important thing is to allow yourself to experience your feelings of guilt, grief, and pain over the loss of your cat. This doesn’t mean your heart must be totally healed – because that will never happen! We never, ever “get over” the grief of losing a cat…especially if we feel guilty about our cat’s death.

You are not alone. Even more importantly, you have nothing to feel guilty for. Part of healing after the loss of your cat is forgiving yourself, which involves accepting that your beloved pet is gone and opening your heart to love another furry friend.

Whether you adopt a rescue cat or even buy a kitten from a pet store, you’re giving a beautiful animal a home. This cat needs somewhere to live, and you need a furry friend to love. The only reason to hesitate is if you don’t feel your heart is healed from the loss of your previous cat.

A new kitty cat can be part of the grieving and healing process

If you wait until you fully grieve your cat’s death, you’d never be ready to adopt another cat. It’ll always feel “too soon” to get another cat.

“I highly recommend getting a new cat after your cat’s death,” says Julie on Comforting Prayers After the Loss of a Beloved Pet. “Another cat will never take the place of the cat you just lost, but in a matter of days or weeks, this new cat will love you unconditionally. A cat will demand attention, demand feeding and demand lots of your time. You won’t be able to help starting to fall in love with the little guy! He will never replace your past cat, but he can fill the void left from your cat’s death. Cat death is not quite so hard if you have some other little cat who wants to cuddle and kiss your face.”

Opening your heart and home can honor your cat’s memory

“To adopt a new cat is to honor all your previous pet has taught you about unconditional love and living in the moment, not ‘forgetting about them.’” says Sid Korpi, author of Good Grief: Finding Peace After Pet Loss.

“I cannot feel as though I’m betraying his/her memory by moving on if I ask my dead cat’s spirit to help me find the next exactly right-for-me cat who needs my love and a good home. Then I sit back and trust that when the time is right, that former cat ‘angel’ will play matchmaker between that next new four-legged/two-winged family member and me.”

Trust your instincts about adopting a new cat

When you think about adopting a kitten or cat, do you feel a red light or a green light? Do you feel a “yes” or a “no”?

How Soon Should You Adopt Another Cat

Tune in to your intuition, your gut instincts. You know yourself better than anyone, which is why nobody can tell you if you should get another cat after your cat dies. You know your routine, personality, health, home, and lifestyle. Try not to overthink the “is it too soon to get another cat?” question, and trust yourself.

I have two dogs and one cat. I formally adopted the second dog after a trial period of four nights, to see if she’d fit in with our existing dog and cat. My husband didn’t really want to get another pet, but it was a crisis situation…and we discovered fairly quickly that yes, it we wanted to adopt another animal.

Consider fostering a cat or kitten for a week, to help you decide if you should actually adopt another animal. I think this is one of the best ways to know if it’s too soon to get another cat – second only to trusting your intuition!

If you get a cat, allow her to be her own “person”

“It can be a mistake to get a new cat too soon,” says Flo on Living Without Your Cat. Her kitten’s death affected her deeply. “Allow yourself to grieve over the cat you lost, and to grow accustomed to being without him. When Punkin died, I got two littermate kittens the very same day. Big mistake! I did not allow myself to grieve over my kitten Punkin, and that might be why it took me so long to come to terms with her death. If you get a new cat, don’t look at it as a replacement for the one you lost. He deserves to be treated as his own cat self.”

Don’t compare your cats to each another

Some people think it’s better not to get the same color, sex or breed as the cat whose death you’re dealing with. Others love a certain breed, and can’t imagine living with another type! Again, it depends on each person. But one thing is the same for everyone: don’t compare your cat.

You may think things like, “Kitty Cat Coco would never pee on the carpet” or “Fluffy Feline” always came when I called.” Getting a cat is like parenting, and it’s good to remember that, like children, no two cats are alike. They have their own habits, personalities, tastes, quirks, strengths, and weaknesses, and they should be loved for their unique selves.

What do you think? Is it too soon to get another cat, or are you ready? Feel free to share your thoughts and feelings in the comments section below. Writing is a good way to make difficult decisions, and can be one of the best ways to decide if you should get a kitten or a cat.

Let your cat go – and heal your heart

Kitty Comfort Coping With Cat Loss

I wrote Kitty Comforts: Help and Hope for Coping With the Loss of Your Cat for you – my fellow cat lovers. Saying goodbye and letting go of my beloved animals is one of the most painful parts of my life, and in this ebook I share what helped me heal.

Give yourself time and space to say farewell to your cat. Grieve the way you need, and allow your heart to heal in its own time. You may be ready to open your home and heart to welcome a new cat…and your spirits will be lifted when you accept the companionship of others.

Life without your cat is a sad adjustment of heart and home. Whether your loss was a planned or accidental, you’re grieving the end of a season of your life…and you’ll never be the same.

In sympathy and with love,



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136 thoughts on “How Soon Should You Adopt Another Cat?”

  1. Just had to put my beloved forever friend, Scooby to sleep this past Saturday and it was a painful experience and not the first time I had to do this. He was already declining and I even bought him some a few more days with some treatments, but when he couldn’t walk without falling over, I knew it was time. The painful part was taking him to the car while his brother watched. That ride to the vet with your cat and that wait in the exam room is one of the loneliest and agonizing experiences any pet owner can endure. I am glad he did not die alone and my wife held him while the vet administered the medication. I did bury him afterwards and it was my final act of love to him on earth. That night was painful, and especially the next morning, marking the first day without him by my side. I know he is at peace but that still does not lessen the loss and emptiness, which all pet owners can attest to.

    We do, as mentioned above have another cat and I know this is painful for him as well. We will get another cat in time when it is right and Scooby’s spirit will lead me to the right one. I have lost other cats but his leaving me has had a profound impact on me that is indescribable. I don’t see getting a new cat as “replacing” your old cats but a continuation of your cat and pet family. Each pet I have lost I carry with me each day. I also haven’t talked about this with those who don’t have pets as they may not understand and that’s fine.

    Additionally, people may say the loss of a pet is insignificant in comparison to what’s transpiring now, as well as the innumerable suffering of humans during this pandemic. Well, the loss of a pet is indeed a very personal loss and should never be trivialized nor should you be judged for grieving, which we all have the right to do, and as long as needed.

    Thank you for the article and your understanding and compassion to everyone who is and has suffered the loss of a best friend(s).

  2. We lost our maximus in sept, 7 months ago, he had H c m, and back legs paralysed with blood clot from heart, could not breathe, was awful so sad, he was only 5 yrs old, we miss him, it was heartbreaking, still is but time heals a little. We have a little cat now called Teddy, he’s brightened our lives, I recommend another cat when the time is right.

    1. Diane,
      Thank you so much for this post.
      I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my Jade in Sept. I am meeting my 2 new kittens tomorrow and I was feeling guilty. I broke down crying with regret, what have I done? Your post helped me in that I didn’t make the wrong decision after all. I am hopeful they will brighten my life as your new kitty did for you. Thank You!

  3. I lost my tsumi, an 18 year old tortoise shell March 11th. I was not upset, I knew she was dying & I told her she could go & that I’d see her on Rainbow Bridge. I was fine, I had another cat to keep me company already. Fast forward a month & my 5 1/2 year old baby doll long haired Siamese cat tribble doesn’t act sick at all, except not eating or drinking she acts quite normal. My apartment is on lockdown because of covid-19 so my sister took her to the vet & she is totally sick & has to be put to sleep. April 15th. So, in the span of 35 days I lost both of my babies. And it hurts. I know I’m going to need another cat. It’s quite lonely without 1 & being in isolation doesn’t help. My sister said she will take me to a shelter when shelter in place is lifted. I know I can’t replace my babies but it feels like I am. Comments & help would be appreciated

    1. Alexis,
      My heart goes out to you. Your fur babies were family and it’s hard when family passes.
      Your two babies will always be a part of you and in your heart. You have wonderful memories of them and that will never change. By getting another fur baby to love, you are not replacing the ones that passed. You are giving love to another fur baby (or fur babies) that needs the kind of love you can give him or her.

  4. I feel what Susannah is going through. A little back story. We Adopted Millie, a ginger/tabby a couple of years ago about a year after we lost our 17.5yr old dog due to old age. I was in a rut. I had lost my Grandmother in 2011 after caring for her and was depressed. Then lost our dog and a very good childhood friend of mine (age 40) in the same week in 2017. My husbands Aunt suggested I get a cat. I was never a cat person but wasn’t opposed to it. I felt I would be replacing my dog if I got another dog. So I got on our local shelters website and scanned through the available cats. There was one cat, named Millie. Her birthday was the same month, day and year that my Grandma Millie passed away. Even though there was no picture of her, I wanted to meet her. I went with my husbands Aunt to the shelter. Upon entering I was greeted by a very friendly cat at the door. We walked through looking at all the cats. I didn’t see Millie’s name anywhere so we ended up back at the front door greeted by the friendly kitty again. So while I was petting this kitty, a volunteer came up to me and said, “Your Aunt tells me you lost your dog and are thinking of getting a cat.” I said yes, but nothing really caught my eye. I really just came here to meet Millie (and explained to her why). She said, “Well, you already have. You are petting her.” At that moment, I knew it was meant to be. She was a beautiful orange/ginger cat with tiny white paws and and white chest. The same color and markings our dog had and she was Millie, the same name and date of my beloved Grandmother. I signed the papers instantly and we were inseparable since the day I brought her home. Fast forward to March of this year (2020). We left our cat Millie in good hands (My Mother-in-law at our home) while we went on vacation for 9 days the 2nd week of March 2020. When we returned not only had the Coronavirus gone full blown in NY with the shutdown of everything, our kitty was drooling excessively. I called the vet right away thinking it was a bad tooth (she had had some dental issues prior to us adopting her, the shelter vet had pulled some teeth and did a dental work-up on her). Much to our surprise she had a very large, ulcerated tumor under her tongue. Our vet suspected Squamous Cell Carcinoma and recommended a biopsy. We agreed to a biopsy (which takes 7-14 days to get results back). I did a lot of research and praying while waiting for the results. SCC has a poor prognosis and usually by the time it is found, it is already in advanced stages with a life expectancy of 2-3 months. There are not many treatments for it at all that have a good success rate. She did great the day of the Biopsy. The next two days after that not so great but mostly because she wouldn’t take any pain medication (and trust my I tried everything, with adding just a pinch at a time). She started perking up and acting normal again with the exception of the excessive drooling. I was trying not to come to any conclusions until I got the biopsy results back. She was holding her own and I was happy with that. After about a week I noticed a slight decline everyday. The Vet called me to confirm that in fact she did have SCC. We discussed how to keep her comfortable and the vet suggested we try a steroid shot. So I made the appointment for that the very next day. But as the day progressed I noticed she wasn’t eating anymore but her stomach was growling. She would go to her dish several times and try but her lower jaw was not able to open all the way so her tongue could lick up the food. I ran out to the store and bought everything I could think of from baby food to soupy cat foods, tuna fish, salmon, etc. For some reason she was able to eat one of the soupy cat foods I bought.That gave me some relief until I could get her to the vet the next day. She ate pretty good amounts that night and the next morning though she struggled a bit to do so. I emailed the vet that night and explained what was going on. We wrote each other back and forth. I explained to her that she is functioning normally as far as socializing, wanting to be loved/petted, purring, playing, sunbathing, etc. She was grooming herself but it was hard for her to keep up with the drool. I was cleaning her as well (she was actually letting me for the most part) but her jaw was preventing her from eating her usual and that we may have to put her to sleep but that I wanted the vet to still evaluate her before we came to that decision. It was sad. Very sad because everything about her was functioning but her jaw which prevented the most important thing…eating. It was also important to me with the state being shut down that I had to be with my Millie holding her if I had to put her to sleep and all vets in this area were not allowing humans inside the vet clinics (they would pick your pet up curbside). My vet agreed to let us in the next day. She examined Millie. She said the tumor had grown quickly (common in SCC) and was impinging her jaw. Said the steroid shot was a long shot. It might provide some temporary relief but only temporary. Surgery was not an option because the tumor was so large and so far back they would have had to remove her entire tongue and lower jaw. I made the decision to let her go. I still feel really bad and guilty about it. I feel guilty about going on vacation. I feel guilty about not noticing it sooner, I feel guilty about trying to feed her high end wet foods ultimately trying to get her switched over to raw (canned food they believe is linked to SCC). I feel this may have been my fault. I had always had regular vet visits and this was not seen or not an issue. All of a sudden it was. I can’t help but think the food I had her on played a role in this. And most of all, I hate that this was all unraveling during a really odd, surreal time, where nothing is feeling normal. Susannah, I understand your feeling of wanting to crawl in a hole. I feel the same way. I feel that my thought process hasn’t been right with everything going on and I guess whether I did the right thing or not. My only hope is that Millie thinks I did the right thing.

    1. Hi Connie. I went through something very similar to you with my best buddy, my 12 year old Aby cat a week ago. He was completely himself and then suddenly he wasn’t eating and vomiting. He was losing weight rapidly. After an ultrasound it showed he had lymphoma. They went to do a biopsy and it was so progressed the vet and I decided to not wake him up from the surgery (he had 2-3 days, tops). It truly is heartbreaking to know they were so sick and you couldn’t possibly see it sooner but I just wanted to let you know that nothing you did caused this. Sadly cats get sick, just like humans, and there is nothing we can do as owners to change it. But please find comfort in knowing you absolutely 100% did the right thing by your girl, as I know I did for my little guy. I cry every day because I miss him so much but I know he is at peace now and not suffering. I hope you find comfort soon. Kim xx

      1. Thank you Kim!!! I am feeling better about it day by day. Ultimately I did not want her to suffer. I am so sorry to hear about your little guy. Its amazing how quickly we become attached and they become part of our family. I appreciate your words of comfort and confidence and the time you took to comment. I hope you are doing well and healing. Thank you again!

  5. Lance would have been 20 in May. Never was a cat so loved. He was our everything, our sweet, magical boy. One week ago Sunday we said our final good-bye. It was peaceful and we were right there with him until the end.

    The day after Lance died my husband and I started going to the local shelter. Not to adopt; just to be around the cats and away from all that empty at home. Being around all that feline energy is the one thing that made us feel a little better.

    Turns out, roaming around shelters grieving your cat is a dangerous thing to do. Just shy of a week, we took home Mister, a 2-year old black and white kitty for a seven-day “slumber party”. We’re three days into the slumber party and I’m wracked with guilt. Guilt at “replacing” Lance so quickly and guilt that Mister seems like he’s got a lot of love to give. And guilt that I’m not crazy about Mister, I’m not sure if he’s right for us or if its the right time for him. And guilt because I think my husband would keep him and I don’t want to rip him away from him if he’s bonding with him.

    The news complicates how I feel. The coronavirus in the aftermath of Lance’s death makes me want to dig a hole, crawl in, assume the fetal position, and have a good long cry unit it’s all over. I’m terribly confused and sad and more than a little nauseous over the whole thing.

    My gut is telling me that it’s too soon. That I’m still grieving Lancey. I haven’t had time to grow accustomed to being without him. I think we are trying to use Mister to fill the emptiness and that’s not fair to the little guy. And that’s not right. He deserves to be his own little man. He’s a cool little cat.

    1. Susannah, I really understand how you feel. I had Obi for almost 18 years and I loved him deeply. He was my soul cat. About a month and a half after he passed, we got a kitten. Obi had been sick (dhronic pancreatitis) for so long and it was so hard and so sad…I just needed some joy. Yuki is a wonderful cat, but he is not Obi. I think in my heart I am still searching for another Obi…and I know it is probably not right to do so. I guess we should be grateful with all our hearts that we had the love and devotion of a most wonderful soul cat..and realize that we may not have that again no matter how much we may want it. Try to love your new kitty for who he is.

      1. Hi Myrna, That’s such good advice to love little Mister for who he is. I try to think of someone adopting Lance and not accepting him for himself because they were mourning another kitty. The thought of that breaks my heart. If I can’t open my heart to MIster, and accept him for himself, it’s best to return him to the shelter so he can find someone who can.

        And like you, whatever happens, I feel so blessed that I was part of Lance’s amazing, wonderful life for 18 1/2 of his almost 20 years! I’ll always have that.

    2. So sorry about your loss. It is hard not to feel guilty. I went to a shelter a couple of weeks after I had to put my 11 year old kitty down. I came across the kitty I have now. I felt very guilty that I was somehow betraying my other kitty. I was afraid I wouldn’t bond with my new one. I will be honest, it did take a little bit to bond with her. But getting her was the best thing that could have happened. I am not replacing my beloved Petrie, he would want me to move on. He will always be in my heart and my memories. Nelly did fill the void that I needed.

      1. Hi Christi. I know that we have a lot of love to give and little Mister does too. Your experience gives me a lot to think about and I thank you for it. Be well!

    3. Aww Susannah my heart breaks for you – such a devastating loss, I’m sorry :(
      It’s going to take a long time to heal from losing your Lance, but over time all those memories you made with him will warm your heart instead of breaking it. He will always, always be a part of your heart, that love never goes away, you’re just loving him from a distance but it will always be there.
      It’s a very difficult thing to decide whether to get a new pet and when. There’s so much guilt, so many fears, and the grief is still so raw. In my opinion though, you won’t regret sharing your love with a new pet. I understand your concerns and I felt the same, and it took a lot longer to truly bond with our new kitties (we got two this time), but omg do we love them. Whole heartedly. They would never and could never ‘replace’ our kitty that we lost, and I’m still grieving for him 7 months later) but our kitties are so loved and bought SO much joy. Yes, the sadness is still there and some days are so rough, but you should never feel guilt over providing a new kitty with a loving safe home. Give yourself some time and be very gentle with yourself.
      Much love, and a little prayer sent up to kitty heaven for Lance from me here in Australia x

      1. Thank you Erica for your very kind words. Lance’s passing has shown me how much good there is out there. I take everything you’ve said to heart and know that it will ease the pain. Peace to you.

  6. Today was an extremely horrific day for me – my 2 year old scottish fold who i adopted 6 months ago has been acting off for past 2 days and been refusing to eat or poop and when the heavy breathing started, i just rushed him off to vet and didnt wait for my appt in 2 days time – sadly his condition was much worse than i ever imagined and had a heart defect with his lungs full of fluid. I am feeling devastated and helpless and it just breaks my heart to pieces – the vet informed me that if he makes it through since he is being kept for a few days that at best case he will have 2 years to live and this is only if he is receptive to his 4 daily meds – she even suggested that putting him to sleep might be the best thing for him and i just am refusing to accept that

    How can i conciously let him go without trying? Im not ready to give up on him but am so conflicted and feeling very selfish? This is the hardest desicion i will ever have to make

    Tyson was my companion after my divorce and was an extremely aggressive cat that has only recently started to trust me and warm up to me – i just cant cope and i already miss him so much! I cant get his image out of my head seeing him before i left and how scared and helpless he looked …. im so sorry tyson :’( i feel so empty without u

  7. Marco meant everything to our family, we called him the baby. He was by my side for 13 years, he had a lot of spunk. One night I put him out side in the garage, like we normally do. He likes to wander at night. He went into our neighbors yard, their Pitt killed him. It was sudden and we heard this large banging sound, we ran outside and heard the neighbor telling their dog to “drop it”… I fell to my knees. We have never cried so much, we’ve never felt grief like this. We don’t know how to cope, we’re just empty. I can’t help but blame myself for putting him outside, it was our normal routine but if I had just kept him in, he would still be here. We feel broken, and our family says to get a new cat, but Marco meant so much to us that I don’t know if I want another cat. But I’m so desperate to get rid of this aching pain. I can’t even get out of bed.

  8. We lost our cat Jess recently, at only 2 years 7 months old. She struggled with an undiagnosable chronic illness which resulted in masses and lesions in her bowel. Despite having this occur when she was just 1 year old, we decided (after many trips to the vet and many different diets) that an ultrasound was required. That was when we found out that she would not last much longer if we left her like she was.

    We decided, as she was so young, we would put her through major surgery, to at least give her 1 fighting chance of survival. At just over a year old, weighing 2.9kg she had exploratory surgery and a bowel resection. We took great care of her during the entire ordeal and recovery period afterwards. She made great progress and eventually a year later, reached 4kg whilst still on a strict hypoallergenic diet. No vet/specialist/ lab biopsies could determine what the illness was. FIP, IBS and lymphoma were suspected but each one ruled out multiple times.

    Sadly, 1 year after the surgery, no more than 1 month after we celebrated her getting to that goal of 4kg, did she suddenly start her vomiting and diarrhea, just as she had done before. We got her straight in for another ultrasound and our fears were confirmed. It has returned.

    We felt that if it had returned this time (worse than before) it was quite likely it would return again. After many tears and heartbreak, we decided to euthanize her when the time was right. That time was less than 2.5 weeks later.

    We were lucky that we could spend some quality time with her and tell her how much we loved her and what a gorgeous cat she was, and prepare for her death by taking lots of photos. Whilst this side was a silver lining, having to provide palliative care to your cat at such a young age broke our hearts. We discussed that even if we had opted for surgery a second time round (I don’t think it would have been fair on her) it would have been to late anyway as she passed sooner than we had all expected.

    One evening we went to bed and she seemed ok. The next day she began to pass. So rather than her passing being prolonged, we took her gently to our vets, who were great with her, and we cuddled her after the sedation, kissed her and told her we loved her for the last time. Less than 30 seconds later after the injection, she was gone.

    We have no children, not for lack of trying. Our cats are our babies and to have one pass so early on in life despite fighting so hard for (and with) her is deeply heartbreaking.

    We have been concentrating on the remaining cat who is also young, to ensure she is ok whilst she takes the time to pine for her friend. A month on and she is doing ok.

  9. I lost my cat Holly a little over a week ago. I got her right after my Grandpa had passed away. I was in a very bad state of depression and she lifted my spirits so much, my family said I made a complete 180. She had moved across the country with me twice, been there for me through heart breaks, all throughout school and college, and was what I considered home to be. She would greet me at the door when I walked in, wake me up with sandpaper kisses, and circle my feet when I was cooking to give her scraps. When I graduated college and came home I had noticed she lost a significant amount of weight, which I thought was due to stress since me and my mom had both been out of the house for a while and my dad was taking care of her and did not give her the attention we did. We then drove across country with her, and my mom did not think she would survive the trip, but she was living her best life on that trip across country and was doing even better when we got to our destination. My dad kept saying that she only had a few days left but there was nothing wrong with her besides her being skinny, but she was constantly eating! Then one day I came home from work and she did not greet me at the door, I saw her laying at the other end of the kitchen against the wall not looking well and she was crying. I was petting her and trying to get her to stand up but she was not moving at all, and was looking extremely ill. I called my dad and he said she was acting weird all day and was crawling into tight corners that she never went into. I then rushed her to the vet where she stayed overnight, after the did an ultrasound they found she had pancreatitis, inflamed liver, enlarged lymph nodes, and most likely cancer even though they could not find it anywhere. I was a wreck, Holly was my baby, my love of my life, my pride and joy, my comfort zone, and here she is so extremely sick all of a sudden and there was nothing I could do. On top of all of that, she had two seizures within the same day. I was speaking to the doctor and she said she can try everything to cure her, but she said there is less than a 20% chance of her making it, and even if she did that she would be in constant pain, and that her body most likely would not be able to recover. So we decided to put her down so that she passed pain free. It was the hardest decision of my life and has only been a week but I feel so empty. I have already considered getting another cat, not to replace Holly, but because of how empty I feel. She was more than a cat to me, she was my stress and anxiety relief, and now without her I feel myself falling into an anxious and sad state. I don’t know what to do because I feel guilty for getting a new cat after making the choice to put her down, it feels like a betrayal to Holly who has done so much for me. I know only I can make the decision to get another cat, but this has been one of the hardest weeks for me and I miss her so much.

    1. Sam,
      So sorry to hear about your loss. Don’t feel guilty about putting Holly down. You did the most humane thing possible. She wouldn’t have had any type of quality of life with her illness. Holly is thanking you from above for taking her out of pain. I got my new kitty just a couple of weeks after having to put my 11 year old kitty down. At first I felt a tad guilty, I will admit it. But my new girl came along just at the right time. Sure, I miss my boy and I think of him often-it’s been over a year. Just remember, Holly will always have a place in your heart and nothing will change that. When another one does come along, it is Holly’s way of saying that it’s ok.

  10. Lynne,
    So sorry to hear about your Smokey. You gave her the best 15 years and I am sure she is looking down on you from heaven. She knows you are grieving, but I am sure she is also not wanting you to be alone.
    Don’t feel guilty because you don’t think of her. She is always going to be in your heart no matter what you decide. When my kitty passed away a year ago, I felt guilt for even thinking of looking at another kitty. But I knew he wouldn’t be mad. I made a little memorial to him and have him on my shelf. It’s been a year and I still cry every once in a while. I did get a new kitty shortly after and I am happy I did. At first I compared her to my little guy. Then I caught myself and told myself it wasn’t fair to either of them. It took a little bit, but I did get over my loss. I am glad I rescued my Nelly from the shelter. Somehow I think I was guided to her-call me crazy, but I truly believe that.

  11. My 15 year old Smokey passed away on March 22 this year. It’s been rough. She was my best friend, my constant companion, my favorite thing about life. I’m sure I must sound dramatic but that’s the truth of the matter. It was just me and her for the last 15 years. We just clearly and simply adored one another. I’ve been real aware of my grieving. Besides work, I stayed home for about a month. I’ve been angry and sad. I’ve laughed and smiled as I reminisce. I’d have a pretty good day at work and then as I was leaving, I’d feel that dreaded, kind of sick to your stomach feeling as I reawakened to the fact that she’s gone. Then, I’d ball my eyes out walking through the front door after work just missing her precious greeting. I looked through pictures and videos and talked to her. Then I’d stop all those things for a while because it made me so angry that I could only see her in pictures and videos and that she wasn’t there for me to talk to.

    I was very clear though that I wouldn’t have wanted her to continue living because she got sick and she would have been miserable. I respected that it was her time and I wanted her to feel peace, I wanted her to be surrounded by love. I still get angry though.

    About 4 months after Smokey passed away, my friend’s cat passed away. As I got to the 5 month point, my friend asked if wanted to go rescue and adopt a new kitty as she was ready to do so. I said no. She asked again at the 6 month mark. Again, I knew I wasn’t ready. But it was shortly after that point where I started opening up just a tiny bit to feeling the love of a kitty. I noticed I loved on the kitty at the pool, I started holding the kitty at my work, both without resenting they weren’t Smokey. I even broached the thought of getting a new kitty and decided to fill out a questionnaire that promised to tell me what kind of kitty best suited me. When I opened the results picture, the kitty looked almost identical to Smokey. I starting balling, turned off the computer and closed up the opening I’d felt. No other kitty would be her so I didn’t want them. As the 7th month approached, I thought more about getting a new kitty. Actually I thought about it enough to decide, I’d get two boys. More than one so they’d have each others company while I worked (Smokey was the queen of the castle and never liked other kitties much), and boys because I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t compare them to Smokey. So now I’ve gotten to the 8 month point. I few days ago I realized it may be a good time because I couldn’t get shifts at work which meant I could be around while they got used to their new home. But I’m finding myself stuck. I feel like if I get a new kitty or kitties it means I’m throwing Smokey away in a sense/ abandoning her, like I don’t care about her, or I’ll forget her. Would if I do forget some things about her, just writing that sentence makes me a little nauseous. Yesterday, I caught that it had been hours since I’d thought of her and the guilt set in. I think somehow my conditioned brain/ ego is equating love with continuous traumatic grief and moving on as not loving or caring for her. (Maybe that’s partly from my first experience with death. When my Grandpa died, I noticed my mom seemed so casual about it. I never saw her cry. She acted as though she didn’t care. And being a grumpy preteen, and always mad at my mom, I judged her for that and decided I’d make sure to do the opposite. But who knows why she did that? And my Nonne refused to ever think of another man for the thirty some odd years she lived after he died. Anyways, as an adult, I know that love does not equal making sure I’m continuously sad and that I won’t ever get another kitty. It’s just not true. I can love Smokey and care for her and have memories forever and cry sometimes or have hours or days where I don’t think of her. None of those things mean I don’t love her. It’s my ego trying to make me feel guilty. Nothing could take away the love we had or connection we had. Yet still it’s heavy in my heart – the thought of any other kitty but Smokey. Maybe I’m not quite ready, or maybe I need to give my ego a little time to back off as I’ve just awakened to it’s presence in my grief…

    I’ve really appreciated being able to process here. I will end with a beautiful memory. Most mornings, me and Smokey would wake up together. As I’d open my eyes, I’d be looking right at her just 2 inches or so from my head. She’d feel me waking and I’d see her eyes open. She’d stretch her legs out from the ball she’d been curled up in, then sometimes she’d reach to my nose with her paw. I’d feel such love, such a warm, fulfilled feeling. Sometimes I’d wake to her curling up partly at the top of my pillow and partly on the top of my head! I’d still of course feel such love, just with a little giggle added! How lucky I was for every moment I got with her…

  12. Our boy 5 yrs old maximus on the 7th sept,he had to be pts he had heart problems, could not breath,bloid clot in back legs paralysis,common in British shorthair apparantly,we had no idea i wish we d known,seeing our grey baby yowling in pain is more than we can bear, he was our world, i still see him now, we cannot stop crying. It annoys me that the vet did not say anything at his check up,its not her fault i know,. we will get a kitten or cat in a few months but we miss maximus so so much. Rip my love ,my boy, i feel for you all who ve lost a pet,,im sorry , !

  13. We just lost our beautiful baby boy Peedee after 15 1/2 years. We were so lucky to have him for so long though it never is long enough.
    I bought Peedee at 3 months old from a private breeder who raised him underfoot with other animals and children. He was very well socialized (we always said he was the most normal of us; my husband, me and our other little fur baby Louie). I struggle with depression and self isolation. When I was suicidal it was my kitties and my mom that kept me from killing myself.
    Both of my little boys were indoor cats with outdoor privileges and since I was home all the time I could hawk them and look out after them.
    I married last year and moved 5 hours away, the move was very stressful for Louie, my younger boy, he nearly died in the weeks after our move. Peedee, my oldest however took it in stride. It was during this transition that I noticed he was going blind, his retina detached due to high blood pressure. We got medicine and after the first stressful pilling discovered he would eat the crushed meds in his wet food, crisis averted.
    We returned from a visit back home 2 months ago late one night to witness him having a stroke, rushed him to the ER where they diagnosed heart issues and offered to euthanize. We couldn’t do it. He wasn’t in pain, the seizure had passed and we took him home. We cried and didn’t leave his side all weekend while we prepared for his death. But like Lazarus, after 3 days he rose and while weaker and slower he was still with us. That was 2 months ago and we cherished every day, knowing it could be our last.
    My husband woke me yesterday morning to tell me that there was something wrong. A storm knocked out the power and I crawled on the floor reaching for him. He was still warm, he had just died. The grief and pain I prepared for hit like a ton of bricks. I kept him with me all day only leaving for a cup of coffee at an empty convenience store. I couldn’t look at the clerk, a young bearded man who was wishing me a good day. I burst into tears and he came from around the counter to hold me and comfort me all the while saying he has a 7 year old kitty back home and cannot imagine losing him. Those little gifts kept coming all day. Friends reminded me how fortunate I was to not have to make the decision to make that agonizing journey to the vet, that he was home when he died and that it was swift and with little pain. That we had 2 months to prepare (though you’re never really prepared). My circumstances were the best possible but I still have guilt. I am learning through everyone’s posts that this is extremely normal and a part of grieving. I knew about the stages of grief/death but I didn’t figure that one into the equation. I want to tell all of us (myself included) to try (I know it’s hard) to focus on what you did do for your beautiful little babies and what they brought to your life. It sounds so trite but it’s true. Good for all of us sharing our stories. Remember to share the great stories, the little things that brought us so much joy and laughter. As the author says, it’s a personal decision when or if to welcome a new ball of fluff into your life. They are all kittens, even if they are “old” kittens, right? No one will ever replace your loved one. A “new pet” will simply help fill the hole in your heart. Adopting a new fur baby will more importantly provide a much needed home to many, many loving kitties and other fur babies just waiting for us to come rescue them. If you frame it that way it is all but impossible when you’re ready to bring another loved one into your life.
    Thanks for helping me work through my own feelings even if no one reads this except me??

  14. We lost our sweet grey boy on 7th september he was only 5,maximus had a seizure when he woke up,could not jump up on windowsill,,could not breath,collapsed back legs,he was yowling,??we now know it was an enlarged heart,fluid on lungs,and saddle thrombus,,blood clot to legs,awful seeing our boy like that,took him to vets she explained after examination that he was so stressed and the best would be to let him go under anaesthetic., he was gone in a few hours, saying bye to him was the worst thing we ve ever done,the pain is awful,we cant stop crying.we will get another cat eventually maybe a few months,,we need a cuddle monster in our lives we ve not got kids,.please know i know all your pain ,.im so sorry for all of you x

  15. Me and my gf lost our beautiful mia after one year and a half, she was our first baby kitten, until this saturday I let her out like usual and she never came back, sunday was pouring rain and me and my gf searched all day and night (didnt look hard enough). Then monday we out flyers up and continued calling her name, until a neighbor called and told us they think they see our baby dead in he backyard. We took her in our arms one last time. We are devastated and having trouble sleeping and my emotions and thoughts are all over the place. I cant go into my appartment without balling my eyes out. I’m going to go see kittens today and thinking of adopting a new baby by this weekend but I’m scared that I should grieve more before I do, however I dont feel whole without a kitten in my home. I really need your advice and tell me if you think it’s too soon or not, thank you.

  16. Catherine, I lost my first cat – who I also got in college – many years ago on a July 2nd. I will never forget that day or the wonderful being I was privileged to share my life with for almost 17 years. Since then, I have had other cats, and just as wonderful. It is hard to believe there could be other cats just as wonderful – but there are.

    I have waited months to get another cat, and when my beloved Obi died last September, I did not wait as long. He’d had a long and devastating struggle with chronic pancreatitis, and after he left, I just felt I needed some Joy in my life..there is no right or wrong answer to the question. There are so many homeless, lovely cats and kittens, it seems only right for one of them to go to your home – when the time is right for you. Whenever that is. You will not be replacing Oliver. You will be adding to Oliver’s legacy.

  17. My beloved Oliver died on July 2nd, 2019 – he was 11 years old. He was a big, orange tabby…FULL of personality, noise and love. He had gorgeous freckles all over his lips and gums. He was odd and funny and the biggest cuddle monster you’ve ever seen. He was a heat-hog, an after-work greeter, a playful old man. I got him in college…he was my baby.

    We came home after a camping trip to find blood sprayed on the walls. We rushed him to the emergency vet an hour away and they kept him overnight. The next morning, they found blood on the walls of his cage. Over the course of the next couple of days we found out that he had cancer in his nasal passages – he had been sneezing blood….the mystery was solved. A surgery was performed to confirm the cancer. He had lost too much blood and it was time for him to go. I remember wailing in the room when she told me. I remember an ache in my belly and an out of body experience. I was doubled over. He was playing like a kitten days earlier. He was my 11 year old kitten.

    I held him in my arms after the surgery was performed. I wanted my last experience with him to be when he was alive. I watched him struggle to breathe, I held his big, soft body in a pink fuzzy robe from home that he loved. I stroked and admired his long tail while the doctor looked lovingly at our final encounter. The hospital was kind and understanding. I watched her walk away with him around the corner. She was holding my baby. I looked at him for the last time as she turned to go.

    He left me and I’m devastated. It’s been months. He left behind a sister, Willow, 5 years old. She was lonely at first….confused. She’s adjusted well to being the only cat in the house. We know it’s time to look for another cat…

    I found one today that stole my heart. I put a deposit down at the shelter and we are going back to look at her tomorrow. I feel guilt. I feel like I’m replacing Oliver. How could another cat be as wonderful? Will our cat Willow reject this new cat? Are we making the wrong decision? Is it too soon? I’m here today writing this because I Googled “when do you know it’s the right time to get a cat after your cat dies?”

    It’s raw pain. I feel like nobody understands. I cry in my car a lot on my way home from work. I look at pictures and sob. Why get another cat if all they do is die in the end?

    Just thoughts that are running through my head…

    Oliver…mom misses you and you were truly my light. You brought me unending joy and you are so missed xo

  18. I too, have recently lost my Baby Girl, October 18, 2019. Her name was Misty Blue. Misty Blue was a RagDoll & she never made it to her 4th birthday, that would of been December 11, 2015.
    I have no clue what happened to my baby! She was eating, drinking, peeing, pooping, & playing like she always did. There were no signs that she was sick. I am a disabled Momma that is home all of the time, Misty followed me everywhere, to every room! One of Misty’s favorite toys was her Kitty Chloe from the movie Pets. She carried her everywhere with her! She had actually brought her toy up on my bed the day before & I had made her a paper ball which she loved to fetch & bring back. There were just no signs that this was her last day with me!?That Saturday morning she never came downstairs like she normally does which I found odd because like I said, she followed me everywhere. In the warmer months Misty liked napping & sleeping on the 3rd floor where she’d lay under the sunlight in one of the bedrooms. I kept telling her that soon Momma will be closing that door & I had one of her beds at the foot of my bed just waiting for her to join me like she always had in past winters. I started up the stairs to the 3rd floor thinking, Silly Girl, Are you laying in the sun? To first look at her, you would think she was asleep…..until I touched my baby! I knew that second she was dead! I started screaming for my partner to come, then I picked Misty Blue up. I must of held her for hours crying, What happened Baby Girl!!! She looked like she was asleep! Day was turning to nite & I knew the vet’s would be closing soon or some place that I could take her. I gently laid Misty on her bed at the foot of my bed, got her Kitty Chloe & the ball we were just playing with, then put a blanket on her. First thing I did was google, why would a young cat die suddenly? Feline Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy, sudden death was all over the page! I had no idea! Why would I? My Misty Blue wasn’t sick! I wonder if she even knew & id like to believe she was asleep & her heart just gave out on her while she slept. How do you even begin to heal yourself after this?!? Every where I look there she is! Today has been another very difficult day because today I know she is being cremated! I’ve had other pet’s but they died of old age & complications with that. I wanted them to be at peace, have no more pain! Yes, of course it hurt but I knew it was for the best. Misty wasn’t even 4 years old! And as crazy as this might sound to some people reading this, I think the only way I can get through losing her is by getting a new kitten. She won’t be my Misty or ever take her place but I need seeing another baby girl learning, following me, playing. How could this be wrong?
    Wishing All Pet Grieving Human’s some peace real soon.???♥️????

  19. I lost my Talie — Taliesin, last week on 10/16/19 at age 13. I feel so guilty. I feel like it is my fault. I took him to the vet when he first started loosing weight, in May 2018. She said he was fine — just old. He weighed 10 lbs then, just a few lbs down from his normal weight. As the year progressed, he seemed to be loosing more weight — having a few other troubles — he couldn’t jump so well anymore and arthritis seemed to be settling into his joints. About a month ago he stopped eating well — but he was eating. But he’d gotten so thin and skinny. I just kept telling myself it was normal because he was getting old. But he stopped eating about a week before he died, and I should have taken him in immediately, but I put it off. I dunno if taking him to the vet sooner would have helped, but I feel like I should have — months ago. They weighed him and he weighed 4 lbs. I felt shock because I didn’t realize he’d gotten so thin because it happened so gradually. Letting him go that morning was the hardest thing I ever did. All I can think of now is holding him as he faded away when the drugs started to take effect. I haven’t cried so hard in a long time — not even when my grandfather died 2 years ago. Everyone keeps asking me if I will get another cat — but I don’t feel like I deserve another cat. Like I somehow mistreated and did not love my cat enough to make sure he was seen by a vet enough, or a better vet, or something. at the same time, I find myself looking at the rescue web page where my boss volunteers, and the humane society, looking at the cats there and feeling so lost and alone and ashamed. :( I feel so much more alone especially when I get home and at night — when we had his ritual of greeting me every day he’d pop out and meow at me, and at night we’d get some cuddles before sleep.

  20. I’m sorry for all your loses but I’m glad I’m not in feeling so very lost, lonely and sad at the death of their cat.

    I lost my Percy three weeks ago to a blood clot. He had just turned 11 the week before. I adopted him 4 years ago. He’d been rehomed as he had been fighting with the three other cats he lived with. He was such a soppy daft cat. He was a British short hair and had such a lovely temperament (until he saw another cat and then he turned into the Hulk!)

    He was meant to be in an adult only home but much to his dismay, he became a big brother a year later when we had our daughter. He was quite frightened of her initially but over time got more confident around her. It was only a couple months ago that he actually started sitting with her and going into her room at night whilst I put her to bed. He’d sit with us whilst I read a story.

    He had a heart murmur which we were told only earlier this year could lead to heart disease. I didn’t see any change in his behaviour at all so didn’t know that he was suffering.

    We had been to a christening and came home at around 5pm. He came downstairs for his dinner and went straight back to bed which was normal.

    I took my daughter to bed about an hour later and heard a howl. When I put my head round the door he appeared to be asleep on my bed so I thought it must have been a cat outside.

    Once I’d put lo to bed, I found him at the bottom of the stairs. His back legs had given up and he was panting. We rushed him to the vet and was told the prognosis wasn’t good. We were sent home and an hour later got a call to say they couldn’t get a pulse to his back legs and he was unconscious. They asked if I wanted them to keep trying but he was in so much pain I had to make the decision to let him go. My husband went back to the vet to be with him but I couldn’t bring myself to go. I really wish I had so I could have held him one last time. I feel like I let him down. I’m absolutely heartbroken he’s gone. He was such an amazing cat.

    I had to tell my daughter that he had gone away. We said he was up in the clouds now. She’s only two and her little face crumpled when I told her. She waves at the clouds every day and says hello Percy. It kills me every time.

    I do want to rehome another cat. I’ve always been cat mad, but I find myself searches rehoming centres looking for my Percy even though I know I’m not going to find him. It’s only been three weeks but I’m desperate to feel that love and cuddles but don’t feel any other cat will match up to him. I can’t bear seeing cats in rescue homes though. We have a home waiting for a cat that needs a family but I know it’s too soon as I haven’t fully grieved yet but wonder if a new cat will help me move on.

    Such a difficult and sad time.

  21. I think the “pain and heart break” is very much the same if your cat runs away! Even more so because
    there’s no “closure”!
    “Is my cat lying dead somewhere?
    from abuse,starvation,a fight with another animal,hit by a car,suffering from the cold,OMG so many possibilities!
    I lost my Jack like a week ago.
    I’m disabled so i can’t go searching for him,and i know it’s unlikely he’ll come home on his own?
    I’m afraid my heart will never heal…

  22. We lost our beloved cat Buster two nights ago. He was my first pet, my children’s first pet, and for whatever reason I have never felt comfortable with animals of any type. My 10yo son and 12yo daughter convinced me that they were responsible enough to care for a pet, and after a long search we came across Buster… a purebred ragdoll kitten that I did think was pretty cute, but oh my gosh was I clueless as to how he would completely steal my heart. I went from being fearful of animals to being the crazy cat lady :) The way he bonded with my children melted my heart and he bought us immense joy.
    I didn’t desex Buster immediately. Then I felt guilt and shame for not doing it when I should have, so I was too embarrassed and nervous to contact a vet and book him in for the procedure. Buster got out at night, numerous times, and finally I contacted the vet and booked him in to be desexed. The vets were lovely, my fears were unfounded, and I was counting the days till the procedure in the hope that he’d stay in at night and be safe once he’d been desexed.
    We didn’t make it to the procedure date. There was a knock at the door and someone that knew us and had seen the accident was standing there telling me that my baby had been hit by a car. He had horrific injuries, awful awful unspeakable injuries, and he was still alive. The race to the vet was like it was in slow motion. Praying for our sweet boy to pass so that his pain would be over, knowing without a doubt that he could not survive but lying to myself that he might be ok. My poor 13yo daughter holding him on the way with my top wrapped around his head and me repeating over and over while we all sobbed and raced to the vets to ‘not look at his face, don’t look at his face, promise me you won’t look at his face. So traumatic that I know that image will be with me for life. And it was MY fault.
    We stayed with Buster while he was put to sleep. We said our goodbyes through shock and disbelief and agonising heartbreak.
    Buster was loved on us all every day on every way, we adored him, he adored us, there was so much love. But I was an irresponsible pet owner, and it cost my cat his life in a painful, shocking and traumatic way. The guilt will remain forever and deservedly so.
    Please. If your cat became ill, had a disease, passed from old age, or if there was an accident, please please don’t blame yourself. Busters death was not an ‘accident’, he should have been safe indoors and he wasn’t. 18 months of pure joy gone in an instant, far too young to go.
    We are blessed to have pets, they are blessed to have us. Don’t blame yourself for something that wasn’t your fault. And if it was your fault, now you know better you will do better.
    Not even sure why I wrote this. I’m missing him so bad and I’m lost, scared, gutted, shattered, needed to get it out of my head a bit

  23. i lost my cat suddenly and painfully after 7 years together , i feel a bit guilty and i feel responsible for her death .. i sprayed pesticides cuz we had a bug problem she was in the room while i sprayed , i took her out because she didn’t want to leave the room , she wanted to hunt the pests .. she was fine for a day with no sign of any poisoning , she played , slept on my lap , she suddenly collapsed and seizured suddenly and died in a minute in front of me i feel sad and shocked.. i lost my fiona that way i feel so bad , she was 9 years old .. she was unique, she actually knows how to open doors , and she was sweet and calm , i don’t know what to do .. it’s been 2 days since she passed i’m so lost i can’t sleep without crying the feeling is so painful ?

  24. I lost my baby Boots on June 24, 2019. She was an inside cat and never wanted to go outside. Until one day she got out. For days I was looking for her until finally she showed up. She didn’t want to come to me, which I found strange. I had to get my 12 yr old daughter to grab her. I got her inside and didn’t think nothing of it until she wasn’t herself after a few days of being back inside. I should of took her to the vet, but I just thought she ate something and it made her sick. But it was worse than that. Monday night was the worse night I ever had. She wasn’t eating, or drinking and she was skinny. I tried everything I could to help her get some strength but nothing worked and when she couldn’t hold up her head I knew I had to take her. Plus she threw up the food she did eat. When I got to the vet, they checked her. And told me she could have feline leukemia/aids. I cried so much because I knew I was not going home with her. They ran the test and it came back positive. I held her close to my heart and gave her so many kisses. It was a hard decision to say yes to putting her down. She was my baby my cat. No one was able to hold her or even pet her. (That’s why I thought it was strange she let my 12 yr old grab her) I saw her come out of her mom, and nursed her back to health when her mama’s nipples was too sore to nurse. She knew when I was upset, she was the first one to greet me in the morning, when I got home and before I went to bed, she even laid on my lap, and would always get in the way of my phone when she wanted attention. I spoiled her because she would always go to the table while we was eating dinner. (No, she wouldn’t get on the table, because she knew better). She had two sets of kittens before I got her sprayed. (And I thought that was to help them live longer) I still have one of her cats from her first litter. And my ex has the dad of him. She would of been 4 tomorrow. She was born the same year as my youngest daughter. And was with me through everything. I don’t know if I can get another kitten. Part of me does. And part of me doesn’t. When I was about to do laundry the other day I saw the last shirt I wore when I held her. I cried as if it just happened. All I can think of is how she looked at me when the vet took her in that blanket. And she kept asking me if I wanted her body. My ex told them I couldn’t handle that. Which he was right I couldn’t. I know she is no longer in pain. Because before I took her to the vet, it felt like she was telling me “mommy I’m in pain.” This house doesn’t feel the same without her. I no longer have her to give me any kisses in the morning, when I come home or before I go to bed, no longer have her to lay on my lap, sit by me at the dinner table when we eat, push her way between me and my phone (lol), or to hold close when I wasn’t ok. My heart is hurting so much since then. Because she was my everything. When I lost her, she took a piece of my heart with her. I wish this all was a dream and when I got her sprayed I wish the vet could of told me about the vaccines. When and if I get another kitty I will get her vaccines and keep up to date on them as well. Reading this article helped me to understand what I’m going through. And reading these comments helped me to understand I’m not alone. Thank you.

  25. I lost my beloved Bob a few days ago. We had each other for 19 years. I have never ever felt so sad and alone. The grief seems endless. I cry like a baby and it seems like it comes in waves.

    I don’t think I can live happily without a cat but unfortunately I can’t financially afford one.

    Thank you for all the help I am receiving from this.

  26. I’m so lost without my buddy. We met January 5th 2017 and it was love at first sight for the both of us until his passing on May 14th, 2019. Since Francisco, I adopted two more cats and literally had a family and his passing has had a profound effect on the household. My other two cats are not light and vibrant like they were and although it’s only been a couple days, I’m starting to feel the familiar Heartstrings being tugged that are saying I have a lot of love to give and that I could provide for an amazing creature of God that is just waiting for me.

    I tend to be a little symbiotic so my first name is Jamie my middle name Steven and my last name begins with the letter r and so I have remaining in the house Sabrina and Rize so I jokingly said the other day walking out of the Veterinary Clinic after the euthanasia that my next cat will begin with the letter j and damn it if the first cat that I find doesn’t begin with the letter j this way I can have a collection of my initials. Yes he is a look alike for Old Franny Man but I understand he is his own character and that we would develop our own relationship but I just don’t know if I’m ready or not…..

    Wow, what a Monday! (Sorry, it’s a Steven Sized Read folks….writing is my therapy )…….

    At 1649HRS, Central Daylight Time, in the Parish and City of New Orleans in the State of Louisiana…..

    Francisco George Roantes made his Vicissitude To Eternal Peace, crossing the fabled Rainbow Bridge and is at this hour in my mother’s care in heaven………

    Just beyond COMPREHENSION! How what why when where and who are all going through my mind right now and I just keep coming back to why! why-why! I AM JUST MAD WITH BLIND RAW EMOTION AS I MAKE THIS ENTRY

    When I woke up this morning, the third night in a row that my little man did not sleep in my and one of the only times that Mr Man was not at my left foot when I woke over the last three years, I knew something was wrong. I kept checking on him throughout the work day and as I suspected, the fluid had reaccumulated around his heart and lungs. I noticed over the weekend he slowly started to eat less and less each time he went to the Bowl and I cannot remember the last time I saw him use the litter box.

    I called my pastor, the Reverend Gregory T. Manning of Broadmoor Community Church, and got pastoral reassurance that what I was about to do was in accordance with our Church’s teachings. With all the bad stuff I’ve done in my life, didn’t want to add another one to the list…… he prayed for me over the telephone and I felt an amazing sense knowledge and direction befall me.

    When I came home from work at 3, he was laying on the bed and seemingly disinterested in what was going on in the house despite several attempts with interaction. His breathing was labored and rapid, so I called the vet and brought him in. As we were in the car and with Theresa driving, Francisco laid in the floorboard and just looked at me almost confused but seemed as though he was trying harder to comfort me and that this was his final Act of unconditional devotion to me. It was then I knew that this was going to be his last trip and that his Tour of Duty was coming to a titered end

    I don’t know how I did it, but I finally made the decision. Fran let me know this morning and confirmed what I already knew with his lifeless glance.

    Surrounded by the most amazing staff of Lakeview Animal Hospital, especially Dr. Admire and Ms. Gayle, Francisco’s godmama, I got to witness one of the most traumatic and scariest times in my life transition into an overwhelming moment of grace and pure love……….

    The entire experience was beautiful. After a confirmatory examination in the treatment room, they prepped Francisco with an IV while I went outside and smoked two or three cigarettes and absolutely lost it with Theresa.,

    When I went back inside, they had relocated Francisco to a special room filled with music and a fish tank and low soft lights…

    For the last little while, I have played some soft background music as we go to bed at night from my childhood, Pure Moods, so I spread out his favorite blanket and put some pillows down and then I put the music on via YouTube and he laid down beside me.

    They began the procedure of which the first step is sedation. Being a Christian, no living thing should ever be sent unto the Father until there be a blessing pronounced upon its head. I placed my hands 1 upon his heart and 1 upon his head, thus began my torturous lament mixed with gratitude for this amazing companion in my darkest days and a final set of pleadings with Almighty God, I commended my boy and committed him into His hands…

    They began his final mission procedure, surrounded by so much love for this damn cat, I placed my tear-stained head on his bold chest. Wis no less then four sets of hands on my back , I spooned my cat and I listened to my boy’s heartbeat fade away until I knew that the dreaded moment had come. As you can imagine, in true drag queen fashion, I let out a feInstinctual cries of agony clinging to my precious Lil Man…..

    I remember being so grateful at the same time for the entire experience and the cognizance that all the tension and pain that he was carrying was now absent from his lifeless body……

    After a few tender goodbyes & hugs mixed with kisses of gratitude and thanks, I made sure my boys eyes were closed and I gave him one final kiss . I stood there for what felt like years oh, almost like I was unable to leave the room. I prepared the final Arrangements and had to be practically pryed out of the building because I just didn’t know how to leave him. I held him one more time, wrapped up in Daddy Christopher’s blanket. I cut a sizeable corner from the blanket to put in his shadow box that I am going to prepare……..He was at rest and I comfortably devastated at the same time…….

    I am back home now and as is customary for me, I had to make an announcement. I have done it every time since Facebook was invented on whatever significant death in my life would occur. Never did I think I would have to post one of these for a cat. After all, he was just a cat. Right? No, this little orange bundle of fur was the revolutionizing bridge from which I crossed after the collapse of my abusive marriage. This little bundle of Love taught me everything that I know today about love. He taught me that it was okay to love again.

    Please please please, if you are unsure, (matters not if indoor or outdoor kitties; Fransisco never saw the outside) please get your animals checked for leukemia and immunodeficiency virus. I wouldn’t wish this torture upon anyone, much less our beloved furries……..

    Serving as one more signal of God’s grace, yes the very same God that I shook my hands at and cursed to Holy High Hell the other night, I was humbled to learn that the Teddy Bear Foundation made a $500 Grant in Francisco’s name, payable to Lakeview Animal Hospital for his medical expenses. WOW!!!!!!

    So blessed beyond measure in this moment of pain. Afterwards, I called my brother Alex Roantes and broke the news to him, as we both cried over panchito’s passing, has Alex has nicknamed him because of his gargantuan size as a result of his love of food combined with Papa’s pushoverness when it comes to him. So absolutely mind-blowing that this amount of love , across the continent, has been poured out for this amazing and unexpected feline…..

    Y’all, thank you so much for your words of wisdom and repetitive reassurance as I know I may have seemed a little extra over the course of this last week. I have never in my life, not a pet nor human, had to witness the last moments of existence. I guess it was my time, just as he decided it was his.

    Papa loves you Francisco….Go be with MaMaw Gail…..Aunt Sandra Smithbutler is your best chance at tablescraps lol

    Like my Sensei Deborah Schumacher declared the other day …… miracles do happen. I found Me when he chose me that blissful day on January 05, 2017…..2 years 4 months 16 hours and 49 minutes…..That’s how long it took me to grow up, provide endless love and sacrifice, and say my final utterances of devotion for this Gift from On High that was placed in my stewardship……Thank you Lord…… throughout 12 years of education as a kid and the completion of my degree program, and during the beginning stages of my master’s program, never have I learned more and received more precious of an education as I have this last week…..

  27. I just lost my sweet baby, Lacey, yesterday after battling liver failure. She was my everything. I got her when I was 12 and she was three weeks old. Her mother has died shortly after her birth and the owners weren’t sure if she was going to make it since she was the runt. I adopted her and bottle fed her for weeks. Shortly after I struggled with heroin addiction. She was the only one who was there before, during, and after. She sat in my lap through the painful withdrawls each time I went through it after relapse. I dealt with a lot of issues the next few years and she was the only consistent thing in my life and loved me unconditionally despite everything.
    Her and I lived alone together, and now it’s just me. I miss her terribly, and I feel so lonely. I know that I want another cat, but I’m not sure when the right time is. I want to grieve my best friend’s death properly, but I feel that being alone at home will make me even more miserable.
    I’m wondering everyone’s opinion on when the right time would be to bring another furry friend home.

  28. I lost my 9 month old kitten, Dimitri, yesterday when we found out he had Feline Infectious Peritonitis. The fatality rate was just too high and I had noticed he wasn’t eating, he was losing weight and wasn’t as playful. I was hoping it was something fixable, but my heart was shattered when I heard the news. I knew I wanted to be with him when he went to sleep, and I held him as he passed. But now I have that image of him going to sleep in my head, and whenever I i think about it I just break down and cry. I have never felt such loss and devastation. I want another cat, because I loved the company and coming home to his cute little self. But I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do. I’m so scared my heart is going to get broken again, and I just don’t know if I’d be able to handle that. I miss him so much, but I know I could love another kitty and give it a good home.

    1. Mary I know how you feel my cat patch was put to sleep last June his kidneys were enlarged and toxins were getting into his blood stream to this day I don’t know how this happened up to then he was so healthy he was an indoor cat for 7 years no problems at all he was full of love he was all I had just him and me it is so lonely without him I too cry all the time because I believe we could have had a lot more time with each other it is so heartbreaking I never thought he would ever be put to sleep

    2. My cat passed away in September 2018. He also had “FIP” we were trying all we could but he just didn’t want to eat as much and I noticed he was losing weight and was starting to have trouble walking. It’s been almost 6 months since he’s passed and I just miss him very much and I’ll still cry about him. He was my best friend for years and I loved when I would kiss his little ears. We’re thinking about getting a new kitten but I just feel guilty if I love another cat, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t love him any less. I just miss him because he was with me for many years and I’m still grieving.

    3. We adopted a 5-month-old kitten who quickly became the love of my life. She was the sweetest little thing and loved to be held. After 3 weeks of pure joy, she stopped eating and 2 days later, we took her to the vet and she was diagnosed with FIP. We took the vet’s advice to put her down as he said she wouldn’t last another 2 days. Our adult cat is mourning and he, too, fell in love with her. We want another cat, but are so heartbroken and unsure of whether to try again or not. It does give some comfort that others have survived this situation. Thank you for sharing.

  29. My three year old cat very suddenly died yesterday. She came up to my fiance for pets, and when she walked away she just collapsed. By the time he got to her, she was gone. I was at work. I try not to feel guilty; I fed her grain free food, kept her box clean, gave her her own room when we got a dog so she could feel safe, and I loved her so very very much. I know I gave her the best like I could. And yet, she’s dead, just barely an adult. The pain is almost unbearable, and I keep thinking about how she hasn’t come to me snuggles the past couple days, about how she and the dog were finally adjusting, how she has been a little quieter but I thought it was just to avoid the puppy. Was she sick? Was it one of those random congenital heart disorders that apparently cats just have sometimes? Is it my fault? I’m only 21, this is the first time really any individual close to me has died. I haven’t been in a house without a cat in it since I was 13. We have been talking about getting her a friend for a few months now, because she really liked being around other cats; she spent the first year of her life before I moved out with four others. I like dogs, but I love cats and having a catless home is just so bizarre. My family and I are having a funeral Sunday to help pick out and decorate her urn. I think I may get some kittens pretty soon after that, and I have mixed feelings. I really don’t want to feel like I’m forgetting her. But at the same time I’m already going crazy. I simply love the energy cats bring to a home, and I am pretty sure my puppy misses her too. It’s just so surreal that she is gone.

    1. I am so sorry to hear about your sweet baby. Don’t feel guilty. It is very possible that she was prone to something no one was aware of. That happened to one of my kitties. He all of a sudden developed cancer at age 4. Since we didn’t know the background of him (my daughter brought him home when he was a kitten from someone who didn’t want him), it could have been in his genes. I do know his sister also passed very young. Don’t blame yourself-even though it is easier said then done. Be glad in the respect that someone was with her when she passed and she was not alone. Having a funeral will help with the healing. Making a little memorial for her will also help. You are not forgetting her, she will always be in your heart.

  30. We lost our little girl “Buttons” this afternoon after a long bout with thyroid issues and possible cancer. We took her in to have her pain ended. I held her in my arms as she faded away with my wife and oldest son there also. I feel like my heart has been torn out and I can’t sleep (which is why I’m awake typing this now). Buttons was 19 years old and I rescued her and her brother from a pile of debris on a house demolition I was working on. They were so young that both still had not opened their eyes. My wife and I (newlyweds still)spent every day feeding them formula we got from a veterinarian via tiny baby bottles. We had to teach them everything even how to use the bathroom. During this time I was building our house and when it was finished we moved in with our kittens. We lost Button’s brother Tails a few years later after he was attacked by a pair of stray dogs. And Buttons was our only cat up until three years ago when I took in another abandoned male kitten. We named him Monkey as he climbs everything and causes a lot of mischief. Well, Buttons started getting sick a couple of years ago and we stayed on top of her thyroid condition but the last few months she started taking a turn for the worse. She had for the last year gotten hard of hearing and lost most of her vision. This last week she stopped having bowel movements and we decided to take her in to be seen but the veterinarian said she may have had cancer and was blocked up by an obstruction prob a tumor. She said she wouldn’t make it much longer and suggested we put her to sleep and we agreed. Now I sit here feeling guilty for all the times over the last year I could have spent with her but didn’t because I was either too busy or just didn’t think about it. My home does not feel like home anymore without her. I am having a really tough time with missing her and the guilt of putting her to sleep and not spending more time with her. I feel like I lost a child and although I have had many other cats in my 44 years I have never felt so saddened by the loss as I am for Buttons. I may get another kitten and hope it helps ease the pain as this is the saddest I have ever felt. She meant the world to me and losing her feels like my heart died with her.

    1. Chris,
      I am so sorry for your loss. Your family gave Buttons the best 19 years of her life. She is in heaven with her brother and at peace. She knows you loved her unconditionally. No one can ever take away the memories of her-she will always be a part of your heart. Make a little memorial to her on a shelf-it helped me when I lost my kitty of 11 years. I even made a little scrapbook of my boy and keep it by his picture and ashes. I am not saying it’s going to be easy, but over time, the pain lessens a little bit. I lost my baby back in July-still miss him terribly. I got a younger kitty a couple of weeks later since it was too quiet around the house. She has been the light in my life ever since.

    2. Chris, I am so sorry to hear about your losing Buttons. It is so evident that Buttons – and Tails – had one of the best homes possible. Losing a cat – or a dog – is often like losing a child, a child who never leaves home. Many years ago when I lost my first cat – in 1989 – I felt so alone in my grief. That was before pet loss support groups, before the internet, even before books about losing a companion animal. You should know that you are not alone in your grief and sadness – these emotions are tributes to the love you had for both kitties. You will never replace them but eventually you will find another wonderful kitten who needs a home and yours will be its forever place. What you are feeling is not about guilt – you did nothing wrong, in fact, it sounds like you did it all, and a great job – what you have is helplessness because there was nothing more you could do. 19 is a very long time to have a cat. You were blessed by Buttons, and Buttons was blessed by you. I do think there is often a special bond that comes from rescuing a cat or kitten from what would have been certain death. I rescued my cat Obi in 2000, and just lost him in September. If I had not come a day early to pick him up in the shelter, because someone did not keep his or her counseling appt., he would have died of a urinary blockage. I felt that all his life he knew I saved him. And, there was a time in my life when I felt he saved me. I just think the critters are angels on earth, sent here by the Almighty, to provide earthly comfort. You were blessed.

  31. Hi. Yesterday we had to put our very special, very loved cat of 19 years to sleep, after becoming ill only a few days ago. Heartbroken doesnt go near how sad we both feel right now.

    We lost her sister 3 years ago, age 16, so both had a very great life but i guess although we were so upset and sad when the first one died, her sister was still here to receive all of our love and attention.
    As we have no children our cats got all of our nurturing love and attention and right now there is a massive void in the home.

    I know its only been a day and i dont expect this sadness to go any time soon, but although i had always said that i wouldnt get any cats after these 2, the void seems so huge we’re not sure we can leave it unfilled.

    I looked at our local rspca and there are 2 sisters aged 16 weeks with a troibled background that need to be homed together. 19 years ago this month, i adopted my 2 fur babies from this same rspca home, aged 16 weeks, from a troubled backgroind that need to be homed together.

    Is this fate speaking to us? Is it too soon for us to give another home to cats that need one? The only thing that slightly lifted our sadness today was talking about this.

    What are your thoughts?

    1. Hi Leon,
      So sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved kitty. You gave your fur babies the best lives possible and you should take comfort in that.

      I told myself that after my last cat, I wouldn’t get another one. But since I live alone and the quiet was just too much to take, I looked for another one. I needed the comfort of another kitty around-I wanted to rescue another one and bring it home to love. Even though it was only a couple of weeks, I am glad I adopted another one. She has brought me such joy. In fact, I was even thinking of getting her a playmate in the future.

      Maybe fate is guiding you in some way. Your fur babies will also be in your heart. I am sure they will not mind you helping out another pair of sisters in need.

  32. Hi, I had beutiful girl cat who I sadly had to gave put your sleep a little while ago, She was 14, She was my baby my friend but overall was there when I was feeling down, I miss her every day and I still cry but she had a good life She was 5 when I took her in from a cattery she hadn’t been handled and always lived in a garage but a few weeks with my family she loved nothing better than to be picked up and cuddled, She would cry look up and arch her back as to say pick me up, We loved her dearly and I no in my heart I can give another cat a lovely home and love it just the same

  33. As you may notice, I posted previously about this with my own question. I lost my beloved Obi in September. He had been ill for a long time…IBD, chronic pancreatitis and finally, cancer. I did everything for him and I have no regrets.

    Normally I would wait several weeks if not months for another cat. But this time I did not wait. I cant really explain it, other than to say that I needed some joy in my life after caring for Obi for so long, and it was quite hard. I started looking on line and found a couple kittens/cats that I was interested in but when I met them, they were not interested in me. I needed that heart to heart connection that I had with Obi. Then I saw a pic of a kitten on line whose eyes just compelled me. My husband and I met him, and he was delightful – loved to be held, would reach out for the other of us when one of us was holding him. We adopted him. I have no regrets. I still miss Obi, I miss his big warm body, and his wonderful smell; I miss his older cat wisdom and how tuned in to me he was. Having a new cat or kitten does not mean you stop loving the other cat. It just helps with the hurt. Alicia , I think you should start looking. There are so many wonderful animals just waiting for a forever home, and it sounds like there is a permanent place in your heart for a cat.

  34. I lost my little furbaby last week, his liver was failing and there was nothing I could do but end his suffering the most humaine way possible. He was part of my life for 6 years, I rescued him from a terrible situation and gave him the best life I possibly could. Currently I’m 8 months pregnant and what I miss the most is all the moments he would snuggle up to me and pur, would make my little one move around like crazy. It breaks my heart every time I come home to an empty house not having that companionship. I was thinking getting a kitten might help me with the emptiness I feel, but more importantly with ppd. I’ve always had a cat in my life since I was a baby and just dont feel whole without a furry friend. I was so ready to get another cat but I have doubts that it might be too soon.

    1. Alicia,
      I am so sorry to hear about your furbaby. You rescued him and gave him the best life-I am sure he is so grateful and he knows you love him. I know what you mean about the emptiness-a house is not a home sometimes without a kitty by your side. I felt a little guilty at first after I put my kitty down, since I rescued my Nelly only a couple of weeks after Petrie was put down. But Nelly was not meant to replace him, nor will she ever replace him, But she has brought me so much joy. I know Petrie is looking down from heaven and smiling. Maybe in his own way, he guided me towards Nelly.

  35. We lost our beautiful Himalayan, Chasca, two days ago. She was 17 years old and had been with my husband almost 1/2 his life. I’ve only known her for a little over five years and I am devastated – I guess it’s because her death was so sudden and I’d been helping her through CKD over the last year (the vet said she was in wonderful shape!). However, we think it was a stroke – Friday morning she was a bit off and by Saturday, her back legs were so weak. The vet gave her fluids and sent her home, but after a few hours, I knew that she needed to “go home” Unfortunately, she stopped breathing right when we reached the emergency clinic. They rushed her back to give her oxygen and it was just enough for them to be able to bring her back out to us (not breathing), administer the shot that stopped her heart. I am devastated – I feel as though I failed in giving her that peaceful passage.

    We have another cat that I adopted 7 years ago when I was single – domestic shorthair and they never really got along. I think he was fearful of her (why, I don’t know because she was the sweetest girl – NEVER bit or scratched – nothing) and would always hiss or growl in her direction. So, how do I even think of bringing in another cat? His personality is a bit standoff-ish and he’s not a cuddler at all.

    1. I am so sorry for your loss. Chasca is at peace and she is looking down and telling you it’s ok, you did your best. You gave her 17 wonderful years. She knows you loved her.

      Would maybe your other kitty be ok with a young one? Maybe he thought your Chasca somehow was the head of the household and he was afraid of her……Or maybe he thought Chasca was taking you away….No one knows what really goes on in a kitty’s head. Like my vet told me-they don’t read the kitty manual. I had a cat once that did not get along with older cats but when I brought a kitten into the fold, he was just fine with it. It took him a little bit, but after a while, he was like the “father figure” to the little one.

  36. I have lost several wonderful cats over my lifetime. Each time, I felt I wanted to wait, observe a period of mourning and grief. When the time was right, I got another – kitten, or an adolescent.

    Last week I lost my beloved Obi who was almost 19. He had long illnesses (pancreatitis, UTI’s, and finally cancer) and I nursed him through each episode – til the end. Words cannot express how special he was and how helpless I felt dealing with his illnesses, the pancreatitis especially.

    I started looking on line for a adolescent or kitten, and I was surprised that I was. I dont know what to make of this as it is so different from what I experienced previously. I have an application ready to send in my computer to apply for a sweet boy who is in a foster home and is described as just what I would want – or do want – if I am ready. But am I ready? it has only been a few days, This is so different for me.

    1. My heart goes out to you and your family. You gave Obi the best 19 years. When I got Nelly, I too, thought it was too soon. But she came along a week or so later and I am very glad she did. She is bringing me a lot of joy and happiness. She will never replace my beloved Petrie, nor would I want that. But she is helping to ease the pain. She is a young cat and her antics make me laugh-that’s what I needed. I made a little memorial to Petrie and have that on my bookshelf. He will always be in my heart.

  37. Aggie,
    I am happy for you and your family on the two new ladies in your home. There are days I still grieve for Petrie and I know it will take time to completely heal. But I know he is looking down and purring because he sees I am not lonely. Nelly is a treasure to have. I hope your two ladies bring you and your family as much happiness as Luna did.

    1. Kristi thank you for the beautiful share. It really helps to hear how other people have made different decisions at different times in their lives. I cannot say why it feels different this time around. My husband and I are looking at a little black rescue kitten on Wednesday. I will keep you posted.

      1. Myrnafaye,
        I know what you mean by it feels different. I think it feels different because you had Obi for 19 wonderful years. I had Petrie for 11 and that’s all I knew. When he passed, there was no other kitty in the house. Before, when I had cats, I always had the “buddy” system. Petrie did have a buddy, but unfortunately his buddy passed away only a few years after I got him from cancer. This time there was no kitty to pet and grieve with. It felt different for me too when I went to look at Nelly. I thought this is a whole new experience-I am starting over. Nelly is a year and half and still very much a kitten. That helped too-I wasn’t comparing her to Petrie, which wouldn’t have been fair. Please keep us posted. Maybe this new kitten will be an angel Obie sent to help you.

      2. I’m going through a tough time right now (not just Luna’s death, but life recently has been quite stressful), and I could always count on Luna to provide comfort. I haven’t developed a bond with our new kitties yet (it’s too soon; they’re still getting used to us and their new home) so I don’t get the same kind of comfort from them. And I can’t help but compare them to her—I know it’s not fair so I try not to stay in that frame of mind for too long. But it’s times like this that I miss my best kitty friend so much; she always just seemed to know and knew exactly what to do when I needed cheering up.

        Myrnafaye, we lost Luna to pancreatitis and cancer too—it was heartbreaking to watch her just get worse and worse. I’m so sorry you went through it with Obi too. I wish you the best of luck with your black rescue kitten—ours are black cats as well—everyone is telling me that black cats are awesome :)

        Christi, Nelly sounds like a little fur ball of fun. I think you’re right, Petrie is watching from above and probably purring with joy that you’re not lonely :)

  38. My cat of 11 years, Luna, a tuxedo with eyes as big and round as the moon, passed away just a few days ago, coincidentally on Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day, 8/28/18. She was one of the most special cats I had ever met in my life; she took me through the ups and downs of my 20s and ushered me into my 30s; I am blessed to have been her chosen pet mom (I wasn’t looking for a cat when she came into my life) and I am sad that she won’t be with me as I begin the next phase of my life, my journey to motherhood. We knew about 6 weeks ago that we might possibly lose her soon due to a progressive illness and I started the grieving process then, getting ready to say goodbye; the last treatment we gave her 2 weeks ago just brought her downhill fast. When we saw that she was ready to go, we took her to the vet, kissed her head and told her goodnight one last time.

    I’ve gone through my fair share of pain and loss in my life, but I’d never felt this kind of pain before. I’ve been going through the waves of grief the past few days and yesterday was the first day I didn’t cry. I thought I was in the clear, until I came across this blog and read the line that said — “To adopt a new cat is to honor all your previous pet has taught you about unconditional love and living in the moment, not ‘forgetting about them.’” says Sid Korpi, author of Good Grief: Finding Peace After Pet Loss. — I just broke down, because today, as we visited a pet sanctuary to donate her unused medication, we came across a cat that we might possibly adopt. I’m not quite ready (that’s why I’m here reading this article) and I’m going through all the mixed emotions of feeling guilt and feeling like I am betraying my Luna, but at the same time, I know my heart has the ability to give and receive love from another furry being. My husband wants to adopt a new cat right away to fill the void, but I want to make sure I am doing it for the right reasons.

    The article says to “tune in to your intuition, trust your gut instincts” — I feel like with a cat we met today, it was much like when Luna came into my life. I went into the pet sanctuary not even wanting or looking to adopt a cat — and there were probably about 30 cats there we said hello to — but this particular one we accidentally stumbled upon (we weren’t supposed to be in that area of the building but we saw a volunteer go through a door and we just followed him)… she might be the one. She was surrendered to the shelter the same day that Luna crossed the Rainbow Bridge; she’s not adoptable yet but should be ready in about 2 weeks. We are going back to visit her tomorrow and talk to the vet who will be checking her tomorrow. I can imagine Luna saying “Really, Mum?!” (she was always the Alpha pet of the household) and then walking away and saying, “Alright, I guess you can be happy. I’ll still love you even though I don’t agree with what you’re doing” — exactly like she did when I adopted my dog Ella just 2 years after I adopted her.

    Luna, there will never be another you, you will never be replaced. You were my first kitty and you will always be my first. Thank you for the memories, and teaching us all that you have about life and love. We miss you so much, and Ella really misses you too. She really appreciated that you wanted to spend your last days next to her. I hope that when you got to Rainbow Bridge, you finally got your appetite back and have been eating all the rotisserie chicken you can get your little paws on. I hope you’re making friends and not being your Alpha self; it may be a long while til you see Mummy & Daddy, so be nice to all the other pets, ok? Our hearts ache that you’re not here with us, but we know you wanted to stop hurting. We didn’t want to let you go, but we did it for you, love. We love you to “la luna” and back, always and forever.

    1. Aggie,
      My heart goes out to you and your family. I know exactly how you feel. I came across something when I was reading about pet loss. “Angels come in many different forms. When a cat chooses you, it means you probably need him as much as he needs you.” I truly believe that. I came across my Nelly two weeks after having to put my dear Petrie, who was also 11, to sleep. I cried every day. Someone told me I have a heart of gold so it’s ok to to adopt another one. I believe he is looking down at me and telling me it is ok. In fact I truly believe every once in a while he might be giving advice to Nelly. I felt a little guilty at first, but she has wiggled her way into my heart. Nelly has helped me in the healing process and for that I am so grateful.

      1. Thanks Christi. I’m sorry to hear about your Petrie… loss is such a heavy feeling, but it sounds like Nelly came into your life at a perfect time and I hope she is helping to help make your heart feel lighter. The cat we had intended to adopt did not work out…instead TWO cats, sisters, ended up coming home with us. I wasn’t sure what to expect; I am still definitely grieving the loss of Luna but at the same time, my heart is warming up to Aurie and Sofie. I still have feelings of guilt, like I’m betraying Luna, and I still do feel very sad that she is no longer with us, but I am finding moments of joy in getting to know these two souls who have joined our family. I know with time the feeling of guilt will go away; when the guilt creeps in, I need to remind myself that these kitties are here now because of all the love that Luna taught me to have, and her departure from this realm has left such a big space in my heart that I now have the capacity to give and receive love from these to 2 beautiful beings.

  39. My cat patch was put to sleep 6 weeks ago today 26 June 2018 he had enlarged kidneys and the vet said the toxins in his blood were getting worse but he was still using his trays and his head was up and his ears were up but not eating but even when I took him to the vets that very last time I opened his carrier and he rubbed his head on my hand all the way to the vets then when the vet was talking to me about putting him to sleep he still had his little head up and his ears were up I just feel I should have bought him back home and see how he was for the next few days just to have him back in his own house where he was always happy and safe he was an indoor cat for seven years and he was so full of love and so happy I miss him so so much my mom passed away Feb 2 this year ad well so there was only me and patch in the house now it is just me he was my companion and the last little sole in the house with me he filled the house with joy miss you little patch and I will love you forever

  40. I lost my cat, Baxter last November. I accidently let him out and he was hit by a car. We got him to the vet and after finding out all of his injures it was more humane to let him go. It was very hard for all of us. My son and I finally think we’re ready to have a new cat and I think my dog still misses his friend. My husband, however does not want a new cat. I think he not over losing Baxter, but we never get over losing a pet we loved. What can I say to change his mind?

  41. My heart goes out to you and your grandkids. I have recently got a kitten, completely different to my old boy cat. I still miss him so much and the ache still hurts when I think of him. But my little girl kitten keeps me busy and gives me a new adventure. My boy was 2 when i got him, so getting a girl kitten has been very different.

    1. Thank you Amanda for your kind words. I know it will take time to heal. I am happy to know that I am not the only one grieving a loss of a kitty. I did put an application in at the local shelter and will talk to them about adopting another kitty when the time is right. No other kitty will replace by beloved Petrie and I wouldn’t want that. He will always be in my heart. I know he is looking down at me and telling me it is ok-he knows how much I loved him and that I have a very big heart for cats. I also know talking about it helps the healing process.

  42. I lost my beloved Petrie a week ago. He was 11 years old. On July 3, he was laying by me and all of a sudden he jumped up and started licking his face and shaking his head. I didn’t think much of it since I saw an ant on him and thought maybe he had gotten bit. He did this on and off for a while and seemed fine. On July 4, he seemed normal, did all his normal activities, ate good, etc. That night at 12:30, he jumped off the bed-something he never did in the middle of the night. I couldn’t find him, he was hiding. I knew something was up. When the vet’s office opened, I called immediately and got him in. Bloodwork was done and all of it came back normal. He was given fluids and vitamins to entice his appetite. When he didn’t respond that afternoon, I called back. I was told that it would take time for the fluids to work in his system. On Friday, he still wasn’t eating. I called the vet, frantic. They got me in as soon as they could. They gave him fluids again and said to keep him there so they could watch him. That afternoon when I went back to pick him up, I knew something was really wrong. I was holding him and the doctor said he just didn’t look right. She said she was going to take him in the back and get his temperature. She was back there for 20 mins. At that time, in my heart of hearts, I knew he wasn’t going to be going home. She came back into the room and said she wanted to refer him up to the ER vet. She said he was put down on the floor and Petrie was wobbly. When one of the doctors waved their hand in front of his face, he didn’t respond. The doctor said it was neurological. She said what I probably witnessed that Tuesday night was either a mini stroke or a result of a possible tumor. I told her I wasn’t going to put him through anymore tests, it was time to let him go. So with a heavy heart, I had to put him to sleep. The grandkids were with me and I felt bad that they had to see me in so much pain. Petrie battled a liver problem for 4 years and was on medication so his immune system wouldn’t attack his liver. He had to have blood draws every few months just to make sure everything was going well. All the doctors he worked with told me that I had done more for him then most people would have. My regular vet and the internal medicine doctor he saw both said that most people would have given up on him after his liver problem diagnosis. It was comforting to know that they knew I loved him so much. They sent flowers and cards, which was so thoughtful. There is going to be a hole in my heart for some time, but I know he would want me to move on a love a new “fur baby”. He was the prince in the house and believe me, he took advantage of it.

  43. I’m grieving, maybe still in denial over the whole thing, but I’m doing better. I’d like to share my experience but I doubt it has much merit.
    My cat Suki died this past Monday. I was devestated, it came so suddenly. She was young and in peak condition, but an outdoor escape and a passing car changed all that. We found her alive and in pain, rushed her to an emergency vet where they did X-rays and looked her over. We thought she’d pull through, we scheduled surgery and tried to make her comfy. She passed not long after. She looked peaceful, but I can’t get over how unfair it all is. I’d do anything to have her back.
    It happened so soon after the passing of our other cat May, who was a senior struggling with illness and passed away a month before.
    We made a memorial for both of them in the yard.
    After the first kitty passed, I started fostering kittens in the home, and it did me and my family a world of good. This time we decided to go to the shelter for a visit, see how our former fosters were doing and take a look around. After I got there, my sister insisted on buying me a cat. I wasn’t expecting it, and I thought it was rather soon. But I picked out one, a different color and a sweet personality. A kitten. My sister fell in love with another there and we adopted them both. Not littermates and complete opposites, born a day apart they’re sweet and I think they’ll grow into good additions to our household.
    I’ll do my best to care for them, but they’re not the cats I miss so dearly. They’re a needed distraction from the grief, and something good to balance out the horrible. In time they’ll be family.
    One thing I regret, they’re presence here is so tied up in grief, like I look at them and I’m reminded that my cat isn’t coming back, and that’s not fair to me or them.

  44. Thank you for all who have posted on here. Its was helpful to know im not alone. I lost my cat a week ago. He was a beautiful very fat ginger cat. So fat the neighbour asked when ‘she’ was going to have kittens. I rescued him and had him for 8 years. He slept in my bed every night, loved the dogs that he had trained to get his food from the humans and get rid of other cats. He was a good cat used his litter trays never messed anywhere and lifted a paw to stratch dogs or humans. He was the heart and sole of our family. I remember the day we got him the look on his face was disguss he wasnt interested in us but my son choose him and wanted no other. I was happy with any cat at the time. My son couldnt have picked better and he loved his nightly snuggles. Michaelengo got very sick with a cough and lost 2kg in 3 months. rushed to vet and he got an injection of antibodics. I was told then he was really really sick he didnt think he was strong enough to get through it cause he had some underlining cronic problem. For the first time in months he ate two dinners and his biscuits. I was so happy. Then the next day i awoke and he was worse struggling for each breath. It was horrible to see him like that. I comforting him and keep an eye on him for hrs even offered him food on the bed. No interested in food. Poor thing couldnt even pur, didnt want pats. Then i took him up the vet. The worse decision of my life. The vet told me he was worse and the antibodics should have done something but they hadnt done anything. The poor thing was worse. I didnt want him to suffer. When he past he just driffted away. He was ready and very peaceful looking. After making such a discussion, comes all the what what ifs questions and did i do the right thing and is he happy. Does he hate me? I try to remind myself 8 years ago i saved him and he had the life of a king and believed he was one of the dogs. I miss him so much and wish he could have lived forever. I feel his missing. Ot seems quite too quite at night time. My dog to lazy to climb stairs and stays with my mum since i came back home. I love cats im a big cat person so i feel a home not a home without a cat. But i dont want to have bonding issues with another after Micheal death.

  45. Hello. My KitKat died two days ago. I had him ever since he was two weeks old. Well, the vet said he was two weeks but to me he seems like he was only one week.

    I used to work on a farm, and one of the Farm Workers found him about to get run over by a skid ster . The worker came over and handed me this a little bundle of Grey fur and said here this is for you. I’m like what am I supposed to do with him? And the farm worker said feed him.

    I had to bottle feed him, so when I got done with work I brought him into Walmart with me. It was hot and I didn’t want to leave him in the car. One of the Walmart managers held him while I went and got kitten formula. I brought my Kit home and took care of him until about 2 days ago when he got sick suddenly. He started hissing at me when I pet him and throwing up. I was really worried so I called his vet, and they didn’t have any space open, but since this was an emergency they said to bring him in right away. It turns out he had a really bad urinary blockage. His regular vet tried everything she could to save him. She couldn’t unblock him, so she called me and told me that if we wanted to try to save him he would have to go to an emergency center 2 hours away.

    I called the Emergency Center and told him what was happening. They said with the type of blockage he had and the type of surgery he would need(which might not even work) , they wanted $3,000 up front. That is way over my care credit limit and I could not afford it. I call back my regular vet and told them what happened. They stayed open later for me and let me visit my cat one last time. They tried to make him comfortable, but I could tell he was still in a lot of pain.

    He was only 2 years old and he was about to die. I hugged him one last time, kissed him one last time, and told him how much I loved him. The vet injected him and he was gone. Lifeless. This cat that I raised from a kitten was gone.

    I feel so empty now. Like a piece of myself also died that day. I missed a day and a half of work because I couldn’t stand to be around anyone. I see his toys, his beds, and I remember how we played together. He had this cat tunnel , and he would stand at one end. I’d stand on the other end, then we’d chase each other back and forth.

    He also liked those little ball toys that rattle. I’d stand at the bottom of the stairs and hold it above my head. Kit would race up the stairs, wait for me to throw it, then chase it back down.

    He also had a dog toy that was a chicken squeak stuffed animal. That was his first and favorite toy. No matter what other ones he got, the chicken always came first.

    I buried him with the chicken. He’s in the animal cemetery at my grandma’s house. I visited him yesterday and today. I planted a catnip plant by him because he loved those.

    I’m still crying. It’s worse at night. There’s cat stuff everywhere. Beds, blankets, toys, ect.

    I do want to get another kitten, but I don’t know when. I feel like it would help with the grieving process, but at the same time, I feel like it would betray Kit’s memory. There’s other farm kittens out there that desperately need help like Kit did.

  46. Last night I lost my beloved calico of 17 years, Kit. She was my childhood companion along with my first cat Suzy and Kit’s brother Pumpkin. Both Pumpkin and Suzy passed away 6 years ago, and last summer my twenty year old adopted cat Skui passed away. I had Skui for four years and I had obtained her from my aunt (my dad’s sister) who was moving in with a boyfriend at the time and couldn’t afford to take care of her anymore. I really loved Kit, despite my calico having an anti social attitude toward most humans. She was the best mouser and she really did bring me so much joy. She used to meow pretty loud when she was hungry. I will miss her greatly, thank you for writing this article. It makes me feel a bit better but I’m not sure if I will ever get another cat in the future. I think I need more time to grieve, I just think in my opinion it’s too soon to adopt another cat and I know no other cat will ever replace Kit, However Kit and her brother Pumpkin I had since birth, they were born in my house and died in my house so it’s going to be harder to allow another cat or kitten into my life. Just my two cents,

  47. I lost my beloved Snuggie 3/31/18. He was 14 years old and had been my best friend. He was the best, huge personality! He came running when you called him, he traveled with us cross country (a real road warrior) and loved to watch TV with us, a real goofy personality; always making us laugh. He always waited for me at the door when I came home from work. (Even the last day, sick as he was he managed to make it to the door :*(

    He was a Maine Coon mix. He never did any of those things everyone hates cat to do (never climbed the curtains, never scratched furniture, never climbed up the Christmas tree, and never went to the bathroom anywhere besides in the litter box) He was a once in a lifetime cat. It was the hardest loss I ever suffered in recent memory, possibly in my entire life. End of an era. Everyone loved him and he loved them. I had lost pets before but it never hurt quite this badly. It still hurts. I miss him so much. I was afraid to get another cat because I felt guilty to replace him because he was awesome and no cat will ever be as awesome as he was, but your article here really helped me out.

    Today a coworker sent me a picture of a kitty that needs a home and it felt like a ‘yes’ as soon as I saw him. (Note-this was not the first person to offer me a kitten since my dear Snuggie passed away) I even had a name come to mind. That was when I began to feel guilty and did a quick Google search and happened upon your blog here. I am glad that I am not the only one who feels this way. Snuggie was the best cat in the whole world and I loved him so much. No other cat can replace him but maybe this new kitten can fill the void and make the house feel less empty and more like a home again. Thank you for your post.

  48. I lost my baby cat yesterday afternoon. She was barely one year old. I have 2 older cats who are doing just fine. My baby cat Vitamin was brought into my life as an emotional support animal while I was going through rather tough times and she was the only one among my pets who actually loved being coddled and hugged, she was the pet I was closest to. Her death was unexpected and tragic and it’s my very first time losing a pet to unnatural causes. I have no idea how to cope with this. I tried following my mom’s advice and petting the other 2 cats for a change- one of them was pretty snappy and hates being picked up, the other one dug her claws into me immediately. The whole reason I got Vitamin in the first place was because the 2 older cats weren’t interested in cuddling or hugs. I definitely feel broken and am still grieving for my baby cat- I raised her like my own child and couldn’t even bare to lay her to rest.
    I know deep down that I’ll need a support pet eventually. My mood right now is the sooner the better but I also know that I’m still grieving for Vitamin and it feels like I’m betraying her very memory by even considering getting a new cat. It’s just that I don’t know how else to cope except by hugging a furbaby. I’m very much aware that no other cat will have Vita’s personality or lovable nature, all cats have unique personalities. I’m really worried that it’s far too soon and that it feels like a betrayal and a replacement. It’s been slightly over 24 hours and I’m still grieving but friends suggest that having a new cat will give me enough responsibility to distract me from the loss while also pulling me out of depression and I too believe that it may be for the best. The idea of coming to a Vita-less house in the evening is miserable. I also feel like I wasn’t a good enough mom to her maybe I didn’t deserve her or any other pet. I did everything I could to save her but it was never enough and she’s gone.
    I broke down crying all over again when I mentioned to my parents that I wanted a new cat to hug and hold on to. I plan to visit a shelter tomorrow to see the pets there and judge for myself if I’m actually ready to adopt anew or still grieving and clinging to the precious lost one. But before I go, I’d like to have your opinion as well on whether it’s actually too soon. And if it’ll ever get to a point where it doesn’t feel like a massive betrayal.

  49. I got my cat when he was 2 years old from the shellter his name was Wendell and he is a black cat we hit it off. I always had cats when i was a kid and wanted to get a cat at this point in my life so i did years ago. My cat was no small cat he was 15-18 lbs heavy boned and fit he was a house cat most his life. once i left the city and moved to the country i started to let him out and he really enjoyed it he turned into a real mouse hunter. But the last 6-7 months he would come up on the couch and sit on my chest some time it would be hard to breath lol lol lol but i know he was just showing me his LOVE for me.
    But as time went on he kept doing the same thing for a long time every days for hours, But then i let him out one day and he went missing for 3 days that was the first time he ever did that i went looking for him every day i had some very sad thoughts maybe something happened to him but then he showed up and he seemed to be ok. He was back to him self but 7 weeks go by everything is still good he’s acting like a cat But on Sept 12-2017 we are spending time together on the couch watching TV and him sitting on my chest we sat there from 6pm to 2am but something did not seem right so rather then get up and go to bed we sat together for another hour. I would say his name and he would slowly turn his head He Passed Away in My Arms while sitting on the couch together. I was not ready for that he showed no signs of being sick he was eating and drinking lots of water. I am just torn apart blaming my self i keep asking my self what if, what if, what if………….My Cat’s Name is Wendell and he was my best friend and showed much love towards me he lived a good life from 2002 To Sept-12-2017 I wish he was still with me but he will live on in my heart and mind and bring tears of love when i talk about him and look at his photos. This is my fisrt loss of a pet and it is painful and hard to deal with.

    1. Jeff, I’m so sorry for your loss! I lost a dog growing up. And we lost a cat (Tigger) 7 years ago and a cat (Phoenix) just yesterday. I have good moments and not so good moments. I keep looking at pictures and crying. In disbelief that she is no longer with us. But I know she is at peace and I know she felt true, deep, love with us. Hang in there.

  50. Kashi, a beautiful black cat with a huge spirit in a little body..was taken one night…a nieghbor saw her in the mouth of a coyote as he took her to his lair. Poor Kashi, it must have been terrifying for her. I miss her every day and have her picture on my phone.
    I was recently tapped on the shoulder to temporarily care for a very old cat that was abandoned many years ago. He is now 20 years old! He roamed the neighborhood for so many years looking for food. Finally someone was able to get him to live in her apartment and she cared for him.. She has died and another has cared for him since February. Now this person is selling her home and needs someone to care for “Mr. White” for 3 weeks.
    I said I would, but feel as though I am betraying Kashi, bringing in another cat after only 3 weeks. I am going to do it. Poor cat..I wish he did not have to be shuttled from one place to another, so I will give him all the love I can. But I will keep Kashi always alive in my heart. so many tears……
    Thank you for this blog…It does help!

  51. -My cat’s dead.
    He had a urinary tract infection, and we had to get him unblocked. It cost 500 dollars to do. He got it again, it was too much money to pay, we didn’t have the ability to spend another 500 dollars on a procedure that didn’t work the first time.
    Mom came down to my room on March eleventh to tell me what was happening, she had just been on the phone with the vet. She tried to call my dad, over and over again, but he didn’t have any reception.
    I had to decide.
    I told my mom that we had to put him down. We didn’t have the money to hold on anymore, and Jake was hurting so bad.
    We had to go in at 2:30.
    I hated the waiting and I couldn’t help but count the minutes until I was to let someone put my baby to death.
    It was so stupid. I had worked so hard to keep him alive, I had never given up on him before. Why was I doing so now?
    I don’t like clocks very much anymore. All I can do is think of the waiting.
    I couldn’t stop crying.
    We went to the vets, just mom, dad and I. I had to decide whether or not I wanted his remains. I didn’t know. How are you supposed to decide what to do with something that hasn’t even died yet? It felt wrong, making plans for what to do after we’d killed him.
    The vet brought him in. He looked so happy to see us. He purred and rubbed against our legs and I couldn’t help but wonder why he wasn’t healthy. He looked okay to me. But the vet put him on the table and gave him a shot. I wanted to push her out of the way. I didn’t want him to die.
    But I let her do it and I held him as he calmed down and his reaction time got slower. I pet him, and I didn’t cry.
    After about fifteen minutes, she took him from me and brought him out of the room. They had to remove and then inject blood into his heart. My parents didn’t want me to watch.
    That’s when I cried. Mom and dad just held me. I couldn’t remember how to breathe.
    She brought him back. He felt heavier than I remember, His paws were no longer pink, instead, they were white and he felt so damn cold.
    He would never purr again, or lick me fingers, or lay on my feet or curl up on my chest or steal my stuffed animals. He would never breathe again.
    My little Jake was dead. And I had let him die.
    I read him a story from a book that I had been reading to him before, in our bathroom when he came home from the vets just days before.
    Red Umbrella and Yellow Scarf.
    Then I had to leave him. His cold little body on a cold little table, so that they could cremate his remains.
    I can’t cut up chicken or make pork cutlets or pour water in Minerva’s dish that now sits where Jakes used to.
    This house seems so empty and wherever I look, I know that he should be there. My bedroom seems so much less cozy than it used to.
    I cleaned my dresser and found the bell from his collar and almost had a mental breakdown.
    I miss him so much that my heart hurts and soul feels like it’s aching.
    Tess goes to bed and she has Minerva.
    I go to bed with a box of ashes on my bookshelf.
    Why did I let him die?
    Why did I let stupid reasons like money put a price on a life?
    I hate myself for it. I hate me.

    1. Kaylee, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your cat Jake is resting in peace, in between bouts of chasing butterflies in Heaven…but I know you’d rather have him here with you. Your heart is broken, and I can tell how much you loved him.

      The more we love our beloved cats, the worse it hurts when they leave us. They are such a big part of our lives, and we feel like it’s impossible to be happy again. Especially with all the reminders around home, in our bedrooms, in every part of the house!

      Thank you for sharing your story, because you’ve given Jake a permanent place in history. He lives on here in this blog post, and in our hearts as well as yours.

      I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, for healing from the pain and forgiveness for your self. May you realize you did the best you could with what you knew at the time. May you let go of the grief, and hold on to the beautiful memories of your beautiful cat Jake.

      In sympathy, with love,

    2. Dont feel bad Kaylee. You did all that you could. Jake’s in heaven now and still loves you and knows that you prevented a lot of suffering for him. You are a good person. Dont hate yourself, please. You are a good person and you love pets. Jake was very lucky to have you and is smiling down on you from heaven.

  52. Thank you for sharing how you’re coping with your cat’s death. There is nothing like the pain of pet loss — no matter how strong, smart, brave, or tough we are! Losing a cat is like losing a huge piece of our heart and soul. Cats accept and love us no matter what, and are consistently there for us. I love our cat, and I know I’ll be heartbroken when she dies.

    Give yourself time to heal. The grief of losing a cat you love real, and you may never fully recover. But if you’re gentle and kind to yourself through the grieving process, your heart will heal and you may even find yourself ready to adopt another cat. You may miss your lost cat’s presence and personality — and a new cat won’t take that place. But, you may find yourself ready to share your heart with another cat…and both your lives will be better for it!

    In sympathy, with faith and hope,

  53. I have just lost my cat 2 weeks ago and it was suddenly while playing. 3 years old was all he was. I have never felt pain like this. I sometimes think I will never get through this. I live alone and was always around as I also work from home. 3 years every day playing and caring. I can’t make sense of it. My pain hurts me so much. I don’t cry myself to sleep but I cry all day. I am a man who was a member of the armed forces and have been in tough situations but this is way more painful. I miss my Prince so much.

  54. We just lost our beloved cat 4 days ago. We had him for 14 and 1/2 years, from the time he was about 3 months old. I have never loved an animal as much as I love my cat- same for my husband. We are both absolutely lost and devastated. It seems like the pain will never end.

  55. My daughter kitty name was Pari. Means angel. And she was truly an angel. Her first bath, her first kiss.. her milk bowl.. everything is a memory… i need her. I want her back… Only thing i asked my god was why my Pari… why she. When she played football with me, i promised her that i will play with her kittens too… she was nt kitten.. she was my daughter… she would place my finger in her mouth and see my reaction.. will i shout at her or raise my hand on her..? But i would just cuddle her. Sometime she was stubborn. Her first pee was on my own bed. She would climb on me n kiss me.. i didnt love anyone like that…. pray for my Pari…

  56. I lost my kitten today… n i cant resist the pain m going through… it was a fraction of second that it happened… i dont know how will i come over this pain.. but its irrisistable. I loved it like my own child. Took care of it like i could feel its heart mind and soul.. i could understand its need. It needed my lap to sleep, she wanted me ( only me ) to feed her.. she was just 35 days old. She could sense me , feel me.. she loved only blue ball… she would hold the ball in her hands and walk on two legs.. i loved her like anything… i just love her and miss her so much.. but i lost her today… as soon as m back to home from market or something, first thing she did was to hold me and just kiss my face.. she would ask me to hold the bottle and she also held at the same time.. n now she is not with me… and it s so painful… i wish i could trade my life for hers… i just wish she was here with me… !!!

  57. I’m sorry for your loss, Judith Ann. Adjusting to a home without a cat is painful and difficult, and it takes time. It sounds like you had such a sweet life with T’bear Sterling! Your description sounds so wonderful, and I know how sad it is to be without a cat. They bring such life and warmth to our homes, don’t they?

    I don’t think the pain of missing your cat ever truly goes away…I wish I could say you’ll heal completely from the grief and you’ll never feel sad about your T’bear Sterling…but I think we’ll always feel pangs of grief and sadness that we lost beloved animals. I have a cat and 2 dogs right now, and I love them deeply! And yet, I still think of the cats I’ve had in the past, and the dog…and my heart aches just a little.

    That’s what love is, I think. Bittersweet memories. Even when our cats are alive, there are bittersweet experiences – like the cat hair and furrballs and litterboxes! My dogs drive me nuts sometimes with their barking woof woof woof!

    Here’s another article that may help – especially the comments from other readers:

    How to Cope With the Pain of Missing Your Cat

    I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, for sympathy and healing, freedom and even joy as you grieve your loss and know that your beloved T’Bear Sterling is resting in peace. Your souls are forever united, and your spirits will join together again one day.

    In sympathy,

  58. My Precious Little boy Tbear Sterling, Siberian passed recently just 3 /12 weeks ago. He truly was the love of my life and there is such a thing as loving to much. He was smart at a whip, ruled the house and like other posts was my alarm clock and relied on him every morning. Up at 5:30 am sometimes earlier, to get his treats, go outside too get some air, come back in wants his breakfast of wet food. He had dry food all day long should he need to snack. Then up on the coffee table to be brushed and brushed and brushed….pick him up to cuddle…now time for my coffee and he would lie down by me. As soon as the shower went on he would go to his room and settle on his perch to say hello to the neighbors walking their dogs….everyone said Good Morning Sterling!

    Home at night he would come running with his little bell jingling to say Hi Mom, he would wait by my bed so I could change clothes, then run to his room for his treats then back to the coffee table to be brushed, brushed, and brushed….now it’s time to go outside and wonder around or just lie in the front watching the squirrels or looking absolutely beautiful sitting just gazing.

    He would then come back in wanting to be brushed, brushed, and brushed and then cuddle on my lap. That was day in and day out until one day I brought home a new fish in a bowl. Oh my a new friend…..the water level kept going down on a daily basis until he was caught in the act drinking and going nose to nose with Maxie the fish….and of course he lost interest.

    When do I adopt a new little fur ball, do I get one or two and do I want all that hair all over the place again, and what do with all the cat trees, four beds all over the place when a new little guy/gall come to join Maxie and me…should I get all new stuff…..Sterling’s waterfall is still flowing, his dry food is still waiting to be eaten. I drew a Heart in his sand box waiting to see if Sterling has visited me…..he did however, jump up on the bed and then down again, he has woken me up in the am with his bell jingling and I hear his meows but ever so faintly…..I truly miss my little boy.

    When does the hurt in my heart go away?

    1. Reading this post truly made me cry and I am deeply sorry for your lost. I know how it feels to lose a furry friend and it hurts it really does. I lost my cat of 11 years (the cat grew up with me) in October and I was still sad and hurt by it months later it does take some time to heal the hurt but I realized that even though I did miss my other cat dearly that I needed another on I got my new cat about 2 months after I lost my first one. My new cat is not replacing my new cat I just came to realazion that another cat needed to have a loving home with someone to take care of it. If you want another cat you just need to wait until your ready. I believe my older cat Fuffly lead me to my new cat.

      Much love

  59. Dear Tiffany LeAnn,

    I’m sorry your cat Fluffy died, it’s so hard to say good-bye to a beloved pet! My cat was called Fluffy, too, and I still miss her. It’s been 15 years and I still love her…but I am also very much in love with my current cat Nunki and my two dogs, Georgie and Tiffy.

    I can’t tell you if you should adopt this cat because I don’t know you or how much time you need to grieve Fluffy’s death. But I do know that I’m so glad to have my pets in my life, and my home isn’t the same without animals! It’s different for everyone, but I’m one of those people who readily adopts new animals and can let go of my cats and dogs who have passed on. I believe God is holding them, that their spirits are alive, and that we’ll meet again one day. I also believe that animals here on earth need homes, and if we can open our homes and lives to a new pet, then we shouldn’t hesitate!

    What do you think — do you feel ready to get a cat?

    Also…is it possible to foster this new cat for a weekend? That may give you time to decide. That’s how I decided to keep my second dog, Tiffy :-) I was very clear that I would just keep her for 3 nights, and then make a final decision. Could you do that?

    Blessings, let me know what you decide! I’ll keep you in my prayers…

    – Laurie

  60. I just recently lost my beloved cat Fuffly. I had him for 10 years ever since he was born. I knew something was wrong with him but I wasn’t sure what so I was going to take him to the vet to get him checked out in a few days but the night of October 1st when I got off of work he came up to me and I sat down and petted him and I knew, I knew that this was gonna be my last night with him. Something in me said something’s really not right so I spent all my time with him that night and in the morning when I woke on October 2nd I saw him laying there not moving and I knew something was really wrong so we took him to the vet and used there emergency services and they took him back and found out that he had cancer and it started to attack his liver. We had to put him down that day and I miss him so much. He was my king, my everything. I was thinking about getting another cat and I just never went out and looked for one but while I was working one of my coworkers were talking about how they can’t keep there cat because there mom is allergic and we started talking about him and he sounded like he looked like my fuffly. Her cat really does look like my Fuffly and she wants to give him to me and I really want to take the cat and give them the love they need. I know he will never replace my Fuffly. I just love that type of cat, it’s my favorite breed of cat. So I’m just wondering if I’m moving to fast because my cat died a month and a half ago or if this is a sign maybe that this is the cat who needs my love and care? Any advice would be great. Thank you ?

  61. Between September and December last year my I lost my 30 year human relationship and my two senior cats died within a month of each other. They had each battled chronic illnesses for a couple years, and I was emotionally exhausted after trying and trying to help them get better, and ultimately just providing as much comfort to each of them as I could. I was an emotional basket case for months, in a catch 22 situation of missing my cats and a feline presence so much, but terrified of getting another cat who would eventually get old and sick and die. I just didn’t think I could bear that pain again. I was very focused on my loss, and couldn’t shake it for the many months it took me to decide to take a one year old brother and sister pair of kitties from the shelter. Best thing I could have done for my well-being, and the cats made out pretty well too. I’m still overly cautious with them and a little neurotic about them getting sick, but my house feels so much more like my home again. These two are not in any way replacements for the cats I lost, who were irreplaceable and who stole my heart and didn’t give it back when they left. But this new generation of kitties is lovable in their own way, I am able to focus more what I have and less on what I lost. These cats are different from those cats, and yet there is a familiarity in behavior and in the bond we are forming among. I take great comfort in that. When the time was right, I just woke up one day thinking of the new lives I might bring into my home to help me move forward.

  62. Nearly two months ago my family and I suffered from a great loss when we had to make the choice to put our dear Sammy to sleep. Sammy was 11 1/2 years old and was the most amazing cat. We adopted Sammy at 1 1/2 years old and was really unsure how he would fit into our family after the neglect and abuse he was forced to live in. It took about 6 months before he actually acknowledged any of us and from then on he was everywhere we were. Sammy came to our whistles and sat on command for treats he never once climbed on tables or counters. He loved to chase small bugs around but would cry at a mouse. He was a built in alarm clock demanding his breakfast at 4 am and ran through the house sounding like a herd of cows. Losing Sammy is heart breaking and although I have no intention on replacing my King Sammy I am considering getting a kitten and my oldest son(15 years old) is completely against my decision. I understand that getting a kitten will never bring my Sammy back but our home feels so incomplete. I don’t want to upset my son but I want us all to feel better and think we would benefit from the love of a kitten

  63. Dear Cerrin,

    I don’t know what to say! I don’t know if you should adopt a new little kitten after you lost your cat Luna…I wish I had some magic words of advice, but I just don’t.

    Remember that a new kitten won’t fill the void Luna left. You’ll love your new cat, but in a different way. The question is, will you still feel alone and lonely even with a new kitten?

    I think the most important thing is to process your grief about losing Luna. Allow yourself to feel the pain and heartache – which I know you’ve done! Don’t expect a new cat to fill the void she left, because a new kitten will be totally her own self. She won’t be Luna.

    Is it possible to foster the kitten for a week or two, and see how you feel?

  64. Hi, in late May this year I lost My cat Luna. Unfortunately I didn’t get the long life with her as I hoped I would. She was only 2 years old, she left behind her two 1 year old kittens.
    She was honestly my rock, my best friend and my guardian angel. I got her just after I was discharged from hospital (I was there for depression and suicidal tendencies), I was really struggling so I decided to rescue her. It was the best decision I ever made.
    When I got Luna she was close to feral. She didn’t know how to play or to love. About 8 months later she had her accidental kittens, two boys, then she started to really changed. I managed to get her to play and then she started to love. We would have our cute little conversations and when I was sad she bit my leg, she did all these little things. I miss them so much.
    Together me and her made our improvements, we changed together. Without her I would not be here today, I loved her like she was my baby.
    I cannot express to you how much she meant to me, there are just not enough words.
    I’ve never gone through this big of a death before.
    I still have her boys and I also have a cat we rescued. But since her death I’ve just had this massive void left inside me, no matter how many hours I work or study I can’t fill the void.
    Her death has caused me so much pain and I miss her so so much. I replay the night she died over and over again in my head.
    I’ve been thinking about getting a kitten but I’m really not sure, I don’t know how to deal with it and my first thought was I need someone to help me through this rough time.. Just like Luna did. But I’m so stuck. I found the kitten I want, but I don’t know if I should get her or not.

    Basically I’m asking for your advise, anything you have to say please say! I have no idea what to do and I just need a little help. Thank you all!!!


  65. Dear KB,

    I’m sorry for your loss. Jacob was with you for such a long time – it’s hard to imagine life without him! I understand the feeling that a cat makes you feel whole. I feel the same way…I have a cat and two dogs, and can’t imagine life without them.

    I don’t know if it’s too soon for you to get a cat, because we all heal in different ways. It’s 100% possible that adopting another cat will help you grieve Jacob’s death and be happy again! I know I’d get another pet fairly quickly after losing mine.

    If you feel like you want to get another cat because you have room in your heart to love and cherish him or her, then I think you need to listen to that still small voice and do what you feel is right. Just remember that getting a cat won’t replace Jacob — your new cat will be very different in personality and habits.

    Another possibility is fostering a cat. This might be a more gentle way to ease your way into another pet after your cat’s death.

    My condolences on your loss…and I admire your bravery and big heart! There is another cat out there who is waiting just for you and the comfort, love, and companionship you offer.


  66. Just a short time ago I had to put Jacob, my cat of 17 years, to sleep. Already I feel lost and lonely without him. I’ve considered looking for a new cat very soon, probably the next day or two. I feel having a cat makes me whole. Am I rushing it?

    1. Hello and I am deeply sorry for you loss. My advice is to wait a bit. Yesterday I cried more than I ever had in my life. My 23 year old Tuxedo cat ( Mitzi ) passed away from a combination of renal failure and the ravages of old age.. The day before she died she purred when I held her and never failed to struggle to use her litter box. She was a strong willed cat and every time she looked into my eyes she said “I love you for taking good care of me”. I have had other cats, but this has been by far the hardest for me to deal with. We had total love of each other, which is irreplaceable. Bear in mind, I am no stranger to loss. My parents, aunt died horribly from cancer and many friends have passed away. I am a young 63, but I don’t think my heart can tolerate another cat loss. If you are a younger person, you may be stronger. God bless you and good luck..

      1. I feel the same as you Richard. My tabby cat Sophie accidentally got out and ran away exactly one month ago today. I have never grieved so hard in all my life. I have no closure. I don’t know if my poor 64-year-old body can tolerate another grief like this one. I am a young 64 but my heart can’t take it. I keep imagining all the awful things that might have happened to her. I did all my due diligence trying to find her. She was my fifth cat in 40 years. I think I am done with pets.

  67. Thank you for being here, and sharing your experiences. I know your courage and honesty will help other people decide if they should get a cat after their beloved one died. It’s such a difficult decision, and I don’t think we ever know for sure if we’re ready to open our hearts again until after we adopt a cat.

    May you find healing and peace, and may you know when the time is right to get a cat after yours passes.

    In sympathy,

  68. My cat died of old age and I went and bought a new kitten. It was too soon, I just couldn’t love the new kitten and it wasn’t fair so I rehomed it. Now I feel terrible. I have lost my beloved cat and gave away a kitten because I couldn’t love it. Please do not rush out and try to find another cat to love without thinking of the consequences. You need to heal and grieve. Then when you are ready you can get another. Some people can do it, I just wanted to let you know how that backfired on me. The kitten is happy in his new home and loved as he should be. Wasn’t the right kitten or timing for me.

  69. My cat died last night. He was only 7 months old but all the time I spent with him was amazing. He never jumped on kitchen shelf or eat anything without my permission. He never pee on the carpet even when he was ver little. He borned in my house and since then we raised him. Its only 7 month but I cant tell how much pain I am feeling at the moment. I cried all night and still I miss him. He was fine until my blind neighbor drove his car on to him. Its was not that bad from outside but he struck badly from inside. His kidney failed and since last 4 days he didnt eat anything. I tried continuously to feed him water or something but nothing worked on him..He was nice cat and even if I get a new cat no one can take his place. I wish we had spent some more time together

  70. It has only Ben an hour since we buried Hobbes.i feel like I wish it were me. We can never measure up to the wonderful beings they are I have two more cats, one is Hobbes brother, and a Dennis the menace named stitch.he is 4. Also 2golen rescues. I feel hollow and empty. I know I gets a little easier bout this is the worst ever. This sucks. Pang x

  71. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    Dear Hale,

    Thank you for being here, and sharing about your cat. He sounded like he was so important to you, and you miss him so much!

    Perhaps you could consider fostering a cat, to help you decide if you’re ready to adopt another cat. Or, if you feel like you’re ready to open your heart and home to a cat, then maybe you don’t need to foster a feline!

    When you think about getting another cat, how do you feel? I don’t think you’ll ever be totally free of the pain of losing Jasper. I lost my cat 15 years ago, and I still feel sad when I think of her. But, the pain eases up a bit.

    I wish you all the best as you decide if you should adopt another cat after your cat died…may your grief ease and may your heart open up so you can love a cat again!


  72. Hello. I had my cat for 11 years. But last month his lungs started to not work and he was suffocating. So he also couldn’t eat. It was heartbreaking to see him like this. We did try steroids…. But that made him worse. So I had to make the decision to put him down….. I was holding him the entire time. Jassper was able to help me threw everything. I have been in deep deep depression, but he was the one who helped me out of it. Now without him I am falling more and more in. So, I guess my question is, when do you know that you’re over your cat? When is it okay to get another? I know I need a companion like him again because otherwise I will fall and not get back up. When does the pain go away? How do you know that it’s gone? When should I get another cat?

  73. Hi
    Its been a week since she was mauled to death by a new neighbors large dog that jumped over the fence for the vicious deed,she was 12 and she had been with me from the beginning…she was a really good cat,her personality was amazing.
    I miss her! and I’m so angry that I wasn’t there to protect her…you can image what I would like to do to that dog! I wouldn’t piss down the owners throat if his stomach was on fire!
    I did ask them to make sure their dog couldn’t jump over the fence,ya don’t worry it wont,I was told.They didn’t know! I found out they just got the dog ten days prior to moving in!

    Its going to take a while before I get over this…and now what? if somewhere down the road I get a new friend…how will I be able to let her/him out in the yard without watching every second…build a bigger fence? install barbed wire? basically build a prison wall around my house…I’m pissed!! I don’t know what to do!

  74. Dear Carolyn,

    Thank you for being here – it sounds like you’ve been through so much with your beloved furry friends, and with your own life! I agree, there is no way a person can give us what we get from our cats and dogs. My husband often teases me that I love our dogs more than I love him – and I think he’s jealous that I don’t cook for him the way I cook for our dogs! But I tell him that he is an adult who can cook whatever he needs whenever he needs it…my dogs need me to take care of them. And they love me so much, and they never question me. :-)

    I wrote an article called Should I Put My Dog to Sleep – and the veterinarian I interviewed gave advice that applies to cats, as well. She said, “If you can save your dog or cat even one day of discomfort, you must.”

    I can’t give you advice on your cat or other beloved critters. Not even a vet can tell you what you should do! But it’s so important to put our feelings and grief second to what’s best for our animals.

    Here’s the whole article, which may help you:

    When I have to say good-bye to a dog or cat, I always open my heart for another beloved critter. There are so many quirky, lovable, needy, wonderful animals out there who need good homes…I always focus on the gift that I can give a new animal if one of mine has to leave me. No animal can ever fully replace the one I lost – they’re all unique and special. Some more “ours” than others! Definitely, I connect with some of our pets more strongly than others.

    I don’t know if that makes sense. I don’t have any answers for you – or advice – but I want you to know I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Blessings and sympathies,

  75. Sorry continued one more time…I’m ashamed to admit a couple of times I briefly wished it was Turbo n not my Sammy Cakes,who was sick,if I had to choose. Like I said I love our Turbo,n he does funny things to make me laugh,but he won’t use the litter box,he wants out to use the r room he wants the faucet ran to take a drink a lot instead of the bowl,he only wants to be pet or lay with you when HE wants to be. I need the want to be loved n needed like my Sammy. Our Shelby loves to with me n loves to kick my feet whi ch I love(my Heidi did that too) but like I said I can’t hold h er or put my arm over or around her in bed to cuddle or she whines. My end to my very long story is,as I’m writing this, my Sammy is all snuggled up in bed,against my tummy in the crook of my arm and u know the day is coming soon when he won’t be there anymore and he comforts me through everything. He always has. My Shelby if with me on the bed too. They both seem know when I need someone to talk to. I lost both of my parents 3 months to the day off each other when I was pg with my 3rd child. I was only 24. I’m the youngest of 4 n they had all moved to TX before our folks passed. My husband left us not long after our 3rd was born. (rough yr n a half). I then married again n he abused me. A couple yrs later at church,I found the best man a woman could ask for! We then had 3 children together( 6 complete). This yr week be 20yrs together n we’ve had a tough time making end meet all these yrs n we lost his father n now his mom is in poor health. He’s my best friend but,there’s just times when u can’t talk to your husband n I don’t want to burden him or my children n my friend lives about an hr away n leads a very busy life,so there’s really nobody to talk to out here in the country n you just need someone to talk to. Well my Sammy has been that for me more than anyone. My Shelby lets me know she’s here for me,here lately,she’s been laying towards the grad my bed,very close to me,not up against me,but close instead if at the foot it’d the bed or under the covers(she loves that!) Maybe she knows I’m going to bed her more,now. I’ve been going through a lot,especially the past few yrsI also had a tonsilectomy almost 3 yrs ago n the doc messed up nI lost my sense of tasting the right way. I had surgery again a yr later by a diff doc to remove the scar tissue. I’m getting some tastes back a little. I don’t know if it’ll ever be whole, but it rocked my world. Every lawyer said there was no way to win malpractice as the nurses n staff wouldn’t testify against the doc. That has all caused some health issues n some depression which my Sammy had been right there for me through all of this. Letting me talk,cry,get angry all of it. For now I have my baby here to help me,but I’ve been thinking maybe my son is right,when my Sam is gone,there needs to be a kitty there to snuggle with n talk to it about how their bother Sammy was n how much I miss him n need the chance to give that kind of love to a new baby. Thinking if that new makes me terribly sad n kind of guilty cause he’s still here with me,n getting another cat now to help tendon m transition before he’s gone,is it as I’ve said he didn’t like other cats around him. We’ve tried over the yrs. I think it’d because he wants to be the only cat(except Turbo,for now) but I believe that he knows how much I need a special one to talk to,that he won’t want me to be sad n lonely without him.I can’t imagine losing him n feeling that hole n not having a little one to cuddle with n hello me through it. Even my husband can’t fix that hole in a way my Sammy helped with a lot of holes. You just need a special cuddle friend to share certain things with,that guy can’t with a person. Sentinels can sense n feel things I think maybe better than we humans clan. I’m just torn at the thought of even losing him,that I don’t know what to do. I know every person is different,but I just don’t know if I can make it through losing him,without something to snuggle. . I love him so much,I will be empty without him! Any advise would be helpful. Thanks for letting me ramble. Thank you for this site. Just writing this had been therapeutic. Your Friends, Carolyn,Sammy,Shelby n Turbo

  76. (sorry story continued)…. diet,med and subcutaneous fluids every day/other day. The vet said she didn’t know how much time was bought wether a couple of weeks or a couple of months etc…but for now he isn’t in any pain. He eats(he ate only part of a couple cans of the food they gave us,but preferrs the dry food they gave us with warm water added to make a broth)which he needs the fluid anyhow. He gets up and goes to the r room,eats/ drinks, then comes back to me..and gets as close to me as possible and goes to sleep in my arms. I have had dine health problems which has also caused some depression so have been laid up a bit more recently,so he comes and lays with me any time I’m in bed. I had my husband ask the vet when and if we should have him…I can hardly say it ..put to sleep. And he said they said we would know when. That’s so unbelievably hard to hear! That’s like waiting for a bomb to go off, but not knowing how long until it blows up! Part of me wishes he would just go quietly in his sleep,but then I think how devastated its be if I woke up n he had passed in my arms,or if I left the house and can’t back to find he had passed all alone. The only comfort of having it done wild be knowing I wad with him and that he wild go without cherishing every moment with him,but like when I stumbled upon this Blessed site,he asked me to cry and hold him and talk to him and tell him I wished that he could tell me what he wanted me to do. And to tell him I wished I knew how long wet had together and that I love him mite than I could ever tell him and pay that he somehow understands my words. I have a sweet mini full blood dachshund we adopted from the shelter about 5 yrs ago and she’s my little shadow and wants to be with me everywhere and sleep by me. They guessed her age to be roughly 2-2 1/2 yrs old when we got her,but she like to be held or cuddled. We think maybe she might have been abused. Anyway as much as I love her,she hasn’t been with me as long or gone through as much with me as my boy. And get not liking to be held or cuddled is sad to me because having an animal to cuddle is comforting and therapeutic. I had the most special dog in the whole world from the age of about 4 until about 6 months after my first child was born(I was 21) she was the best! When I married n moved my mom said I had to take her cause she wouldn’t be happy without me. So we did had I to temp move back with my folks after my baby’s birth. We had to have her out to sleep because with old age age could barely walk up n down the 2 steps to go outside. She never cried in pain,but we could tell she was suffering. I couldn’t go with my mom to take her as I knew it would kill me. So I gave her my last kiss and told her I would always love her forever I’ve had several poets over the yrs since but none for a long time as either moves or illness of the animal etc… Until we got our Sammy. I live him as much as I did my Heidi and I never thought that possible. Except for Heidi and one other dog I had(which we had to give up because of a move n the landlord wouldn’t allow her. But my cousin took her and I got to see her on occasion which she was still in my heart my baby). Now I know my heart will soon be breaking again(even more than right now). My oldest son says I need to get another Siamese when Sam Sam is gone to help me. We have done outside cats that have just down up over the past few yrs that we feed n stuff,but Sammy has never allowed any other cat around him except 2. The1st Garfield,which was abandoned by neighbors who moved n he adopted us n we had to have put to sleep from heart disease aboutl 3 yrs ago. The 2nd one Turbo,came to us and had been get by someone or something. He had a hole in his leg n I took care of him and got him healed up. He’s about used up his 9 lives. He tore a hoke in his side somehow a couple yrs ago n I held him with that too. Both cats wanted to be inside/out because they had been born outside. We still have Turbo,buthe is the only cat I’ve ever known that doesn’t want to cuddle or be held unless HE’S in the mood n has to come to you. He’s very stubborn n independent. I’ve never known a cat that didn’t want to be cuddled n loved n spoiled until him,except the wood strays we come across. (We live in the country) I love him but I’m ashamed to say only because he lives here n he needs us.

  77. I have a BEAUTIFUL Blue Point Siamese, Sammy. He just turned 14 Dec,2013. He is just 6 months younger than my youngest of 6 children. My husband got him for me for my birthday in Feb,following the birth of my youngest child.He has had a few incidences over the past yr or so,where we thought he might have had a sm stroke. He would walk kind of sideways etc just act a little different. We took him to the vet but they couldn’t tell us anything certain. He would seem to pull out of it and be pretty much back to his old self. Until this yr. We noticed he seemed to be kind of walking a little crooked again and a little slower and slowly losing weight. We just thought it was just him getting up there in yrs,since we had taken him in before and nothing found. A few weeks ago I told my husband we needed to get him back in as I noticed ithought he was getting a little worse. He said we could as soon as payday came. We have really been struggling financially as a lot if other families are these days. Last week he was so bad and I noticed he wasn’t really eating much and he seemed to always be wanting to get water from his bowl or faucet,but not really drink much he’s a very picky eater and believe it or not,he doesn’t really like canned food or tuna,but I was worried that maybe his food was getting a little too much for him to chew(he’s lost a few teeth from age),did research n we’ve found the easiest to chew best dry food on the market, for him. I told my husband he’s lost to much weight keys gets any canned food we can get him to eat(thinking it was tooth related,until we could get him to the vet. A week ago Wed night I put a little water in his canned food and warmed it. My husband have it to him after I went in to the r room. I heard him stay to meow over and over and my husband called for me to come there. When I got there,my hand said he had eaten then started meowing and acting in pain. I went to him and he was laying there with his head down and couldn’t stand up. He meowed quietly a few times as if he want hurting as bad,but still couldn’t stand at that point. I went nuts and started bawling and told my husband I didn’t care if we had the $ or not and begged him please take him to the vet which is on his way to work(we live in rural area no vet hospital open around). He was finally able to stand up and go jump in the couch and lay down. I told my husband I think he ate too fast and it was probably the most my baby had had in his tummy at one time lately,even though he didn’t really eat all that much if the can. Anyway my husband took him on his way to work first thing(as we have 1 working car right now). He later called me and said the vet had done blood work and diagnosed him with renal failure and that only 15% of his kidneys were working n that he was dehydrated(common with this age to get this I learned). They said he needed hospitalized for a couple of days to give him fluids and meds. My husband brought him home after work a wk ago yesterday Fri. The vet told my husband he would need special

  78. Dear Gay,

    Thank you for telling us about Leyna! I can just see her grooming herself in front of the mirror, preening and admiring her lovely coat and body :-) Cats are wonderful, aren’t they? Their only downfall is that they leave us far too soon.

    May your new little girl will brighten your lives and home, and may her spirit interact with Leyna’s. There will be no replacements, only multiplied joy and love.

    We’d love to hear how it goes – how your new kitty settles in – anytime you want to update us.


  79. We have had the pleasure and sheer joy of our beloved Leyna for 16 wonderful years. She was self-aware, grooming herself by preference in front of the mirror. She died horribly, and there was nothing we could do in the remote area in which we live, to get her put to sleep. We did what we had to do, but by God it was hard, and the pictures in our heads are way too vivid to cope with. Our hearts are raw and aching, and her “brother” Eric, also 16, is crying for her almost all day long. None of us are sleeping, nor eating much.

    We’ve had the offer to bring home another little girl, aged 14 weeks. It’s only been a couple of days, but we think we will work out how to get to her and bring her home with us. Because the new little girl is so young, we feel that she will help to bring some smiles into our days. We don’t want to forget Leyna, we never will, she was a daughter to us. And the new girl will not be another Leyna, she will be her own “personality” and bring her own touches to our lives. This is the absolute worst timing for such a huge loss, as we are currently under a lot of stress, to the point where I have had shingles for over 4 months now, and my husband had shingles for about 5 weeks. This site has been a wonderful find. God bless

  80. Dear Kelsey and everyone who shared about their cat’s death,

    Thank you for being here. I’m so sorry you lost your cats, especially if the death was unexpected. It’s so shocking and horrible to find your cat dead, or to have to put her to sleep.

    Every day, I think about the cats I’ve loved and lost…they’re always with me, even though I haven’t touched or kissed them in over 10 years.

    Loving our cats with all our hearts means we hurt with all our hearts when they pass on. I guess the only thing we can hope to do is eventually carry the love, joy, and happiness we felt when our cats were alive in our hearts now, in honor of their memories.

    In sympathy,

  81. I never had a pet besides hamsters and fish until I moved into my own apartment this past July. My best friend suggested that I get a kitten. I was partial to the idea at first but then I saw a picture of a litter of kittens that was being given away and I couldn’t help myself! The second day of moving into my apartment with my boyfriend I picked one of the kittens. Her name was Stripes when I adopted her but I renamed her Nala. She was my best friend. I woke up this morning to find her dead in her litterbox and I am pretty sure it was because she got into the garbage and ate food that was in it that was not good for her…. she had litter all over her mouth… I feel terrible she was the most loving cat I ever met!!! She loved to cuddle with me all day and slept in my arms. She’d meow with me back and forth… she loved to wrestle with a stuffed Tazmanian devil toy… If Nala could hear me now this is what I would tell her, ” I miss you sooooo much I hate not having you around.. you were my little baby I will always miss you following me around in the morning meowing at me in the bathroom while I’m getting ready for work… or when you wake me up to cuddle with you.. and when you run to the sound of my voice when I come back home from being out all day… I love you so much I’m sorry this had to happen to you I will always remember you and cherish you in my heart, you were my first real pet you were my baby and a best friend to me..” :'( RIP NALA 5/2/12 to 10/19/12 YOU WERE THE BEST KITTY IN THE WORLD

  82. well its 4 days since my best friend paased away he was 14years old he had weak heart this past two years i gave him his meds every day but in the last few days he tried to go away from home do think he knew he was going to die ? he never did this before he loved his home we all loved him , thank you all Gods Blessings & comfort to you all my heart is with you . Tears

    Layton Morgan

  83. well after reading the other posts my heart is with you all, our cat [charlie] died saturday past got the best care there was from the vet & my sister & i but charlie heart was getting weaker when death came it his our family bad our home is lonley & cold with out him he was white with black nose he was my best friend i miss him tears . thank you . layton.

  84. My beloved Myla (14 y.o.) died on Tuesday in a freak household accident. We have an attached garage with entry from the kitchen. Our idea of letting our cats ‘out’ is letting them run around in an enclosed garage with the overhead door opened an inch. Myla wouldn’t come in and I was worried about her getting too hot. One sure fire way to get her to come out was to open the overhead door. She would always run out onto the drive way and flop and twist on the cement. My good girl wouldn’t run away–she’d flop and twist in the sunshine. I began my walk through the garage to pick her up from the driveway when I saw the tailgate my husband had taken off the pickup and propped in the garage. To my absolute horror, the tailgate fell on my baby girl and crushed her–killing her (I desperately hope) instantly. I am utterly devastated. Myla has been my best friend for fourteen years. My husband tries to console me, but I can’t fathom life without my baby. I’ve had other cats through my life, but this relationship was unlike any I’ve ever had. Family and friends have been supportive, but I want to be alone in my grief. My days since her death have not been anywhere near productive–the house is a mess and I could care less. Today, I thought the tears were done, but they come out of nowhere. I don’t want to eat, I can’t sleep, and I can’t stop seeing the horrible instant of that tailgate falling, knowing I was too far away to save her. This pain seems never ending.

  85. Sigh, i just have to share this story with out some one saying hes just a cat or at least it was the cat and not something important. My cat was murdered he was only 7yrs old next week was his bday. Sunday morning july 22nd i let my cat go outside to go out and sunbath an dhunt a typical day. I came home and he was all cute an dwarm and happy and healthy sunbathing on my porch i patted him and told him he was a good boy. He purred in return and i went in to realax froma hard week of work. When it came night time my cat will jump up on my window and beg to be let in around when i go to sleep and he would sleep in my bed. That night he didnt beg which wa snormal just ment he was hunting. The next day i couldnt find him and i was uneasy but being a dumb lazy asshole enjoyed my day off instead of searching for my cat and guess what i went to the beach and ended up staying till 4pm once it came to night time i went out searching for my cat calling his name and stuff but he wouldnt come which was odd he would want to spemd two nights outsid ebut if he wouldnt come there was nothing i could do. So i went to sleep and in the morning my friend came in asking if that was my cat on the porch i went out and to my releaf it was. This was short lived because his bottom left big tooth was hanging out on just a little piece of gum and just hanging sorda looking like a saber tooth tiger. I called my mom seeing if i should take him to the emergensy vet hospital which she said defently. I take him there and he moans when i carry him. I bring him to the vet and tk my horror his wounds are so much more severe then i could have possibly imigine. Both of his back legs were smashed and broken one of them ha dits ligamints snapped and every thing all his teeth were smashed and his eye socket wounded. It obviously wasnt an animal he said and with how the wounds were and that his claws weerent frawed (cats brace themselves right before getting hit by sticking their claws in the groumd and when he would have got hit his claws would habe frawed) so the vet was able to determine it was a himan who attacked my cat and held him down while beating him which is how he got so many scrapes but the cat tryed despratly to excape so he gave himself road rash. We had to put him down becuase he would never happy with out one of his back legs and never allowed outside. Also icouldnt afford saving him. So he died in my arms and while he was going he looked up glared at my mother and hissed at her to show her he still will never like her . Rip Sam i will miss you. I really loved my cat and i miss him so much i miss my cat so so so much. What makes it more hard is i would always go to my cat and talk to him and he would confort my if i ever needed but now hes not there and i have nothing to purr me to sleep while i sob inwardly. :( i really miss him and he died the 24th and today is only the 25th well even yesterday i wa smissing him super badly. I dont know what else to say but please Lord take care of my baby in heaven because i want him back one day

  86. Ive come across this site looking for ways to cope with the loss of my cat. My little boy Dobby died on 10th July and I had found his body yesterday (11th) he was only a year old and I had had him for 10 months. He was sadly run over but I didnt know that until I went out looking and calling for him. It was such a shock seeing him laying there so lifeless when I thought he had only wandered off. I am absolutely devastated. I loved him so much and am lost with out him even though it’s been 30 hours since I found him. I hope this pain goes away soon. I have been offered another kitten who will be ready in 5 weeks. I dont know if it is too soon or not I feel I need a companion as I’m so lonely without Dobby but I wouldn’t want Dobby thinking I’ve replaced him. I understand it will be a completely different personality and they also look nothing alike. Such a tough decision!

  87. OMG Can’t stop crying. I lost my beloved 13 yro Boo almost 3 weeks ago. I appreciate the 2 days of crying. I have a very strong faith in God and that combined with an amazing support system enabled me to move forward.

    The richest piece of advice I got was that it would be ok if I wanted to adopt again in the future and it would not dishonor Boo. I was in such debilitating pain, that I said I was done with animals because I couldn’t go through that pain ever again. Well, the grace and mercy of God softened my heart.

    Today I adopted 2 kittens from the shelter. How could I allow kittens to remain contained and not have a loving home for my own selfish reasons I asked myself. I know the day will come when I will have to say good-bye to them. For now though, they are helping me heal. They will never replace my Boo, but they have filled the empty hole that was in my home.

    Thank you for sharing your story.

  88. Daniel that is such a good story although you lost your precious boy, it is wonderful that Angel found such a good and loving home. When one of my Siamese boys died, his brother was besides himself. They had been together every day for more than 13 years and close as close and because I work full time I decided I had to try to get him a companion although I didn’t feel ready. I saw Samantha on the RSPCA site and Mum and I went to have a look at her. She was such a pretty little cat that it’s amazing that nobody had taken her by the time I got there. Anyway when I brought her home, there was no adjustment period from either of them, Smudge accepted her immediately. So you can’t help but think that their spirits do live on in.

  89. I am only 21 and have had a pretty easy life, also due to past experience have gone thru my teens with some big commitment problems and tried to be the tough guy who didnt care about anything.. but a year and a half ago when i apodted a kitten named squeek it was the best thing that ever happened to me . My first responsibility in life and the first time i had ever been able to commit myself, he was my world. He got me through hard days and was my motivation to get out of bed in the morning. I kept him indoors as i was too scared of something happening to him.
    2 weeks ago, my boy snuck outside through my legs when i opened the door but came back not long later. The next day we found him paralysed and the vet confirmed it was a snake bite. i didnt hesitate to pay for anti venom and spent a night awake praying (which isnt regular for me) but unfortunately he didnt make it :( for the first time since i became a teenager i cried, for 2 days straight.
    2 days after my boys death, me and my gf got a txt from a friend. a friend of a friend of a friend had been kicked out of home and needed to rehome their kitten and sumhow the text had reached us. i said no as i felt it was too soon and would be disrespectful to my boy.
    The next day my mother gave me an email she had recieved, not knowing my cat had died, the email was a list of what your cat would want if it could leave a will behind after death.. it had things such as “all i have to give is my owners love and my toys and food bowls” , it said things like “give the lap i loved so much to a cat who needs one” and “give my toys and food bowls to a cat who is not as fortunate” , you get the idea , it seemed like a sign .. that day my girlfriend also got a text from the owner of the cat, saying she could not find anyone to take her little girl and she desperately wanted her to go to a good home, she had been told how well we looked after our boy.
    I decided after these signs, believing everything happens for a reason that we should take her.
    To my disbelief, when i saw a photo of her, she was identical to my boy only slightly more fluffy and girly, but the same face, same age .. and name just happens to be “angel” … when we met angel she ran up to me and started licking my hand and wanting cuddles like she knew me… we picked up angel yesterday, and there was no adjustment phase, she has been acting like she’s been here forever. I have 3 cats all with very unique personalities, but angel has the same manerisms, same expressions, and same meow as my boy squeek. she’s not as fiesty and adventurous, but through manerisms, i think squeeks spirit is in their somewhere, and i believe my boy has found his way back home ..

  90. Shauna thank you. My Boo just died 2 weeks ago suddenly while I cradled him in my arms. I’m so lost without him. The intense crying spells have diminished but I miss him so much. He was 13. All black with yellow eyes. I rescued him from a shelter. His ashes are with me. I don’t know if I can adopt another cat yet my house is lonely and there is a whole in my heart.

  91. Hi. I just found this site when searching for whether or not it was ok to get another kitten after your cat’s death. My cat, Alice, died April 26, 2012, from a blood clot that blocked the blood flow to her back legs and we found her unable to walk and without feeling in her back legs. She had been perfectly fine only a few hours before. I loved her so much, still do and honestly felt desperate for her and consumed with grief after her death. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever dealt with in my life. I had her for 12.5 years and she was just amazing. She was a dumpster kitten with no home when I found her years ago. Today, the 28th, my husband adopted a kitten for me from the shelter. Honestly, I feel like it’s helped me a little bit. It’s nice to share love with a kitten, even if it’s not my Alice. I feel like we honored her memory by adopting a shelter kitten- as she was an abandoned kitty too. I don’t know how to describe it, I feel guilt over it too, but I’m glad we did it. I guess it’s individual to each person. I just was so devastated when Alice passed away, I held her for several hours after she passed away, I just can’t believe she’s gone. But I am happy that I can dedicate a lot of new things to this new kitty-Addy- in Alice’s memory, even though I’m still hurting so badly. Although, Alice will never, ever be replaced. I don’t know what works for everyone else- but we made the decision to have Alice cremated and I’ll have her with me forever. I know I’m rambling on at this point, but much like the other posters here, she was loved like a person- truly. She wasn’t just a cat, she cared, she was intuitive, she was amazing! We’re having a picture/memory quilt of her made and of course will keep her ashes in an urn, next to my bed. I’m just so in love with her and I will be forever- but this new kitty that needs love too is a good distraction, and that’s really nice during such an extensely painful time.

  92. Hi David

    Know that there are many, many animal lovers who will be feeling your sorrow. My beautiful Siamese boys died 8 and 5 years ago and I still think of them with such love and fondness and a lump in my throat, I now have two more to fill the gap, but all of them are special, unique and individual, each one leaves a special paw print on your heart.

    You really have some beautiful memories of your life with Babe and that is very precious. She sounds as if she was a real little character and well travelled. Take care and cry all of the tears that you need to, to honour her life.

  93. My cat died March 15 while I was at work. She had been with me for over 20 years. She suddenly got sick less then 2 weeks before. She was a rescue cat when I adopted her in 1992. Babe loved to ride in the car and I took her on trips with me. She was a very affectionate and cuddly cat. Babe loved to play with boxes and bags. If I bought her toys she would prefer playing with the bag and box it came in. When I had heart surgery at age 28, Babe was always by my side during my recovery at home. I believe Babe made my recovery go much better. My job began to move us around and the first place was Knoxville, TN. We lived there for a year. Babe loved the house, it had a sun room that she loved to catch the sun light and watch the birds. She loved to run up down the steps and if I was in the attic she was quick to find a way to go from one side to the other. After a year my job needed me in Florida, I decided I was going to have a house with a pool, Babe loved the enclosed pool area, sometimes when she thought I was not looking she would get both front paws on the first step into the pool and then she would lick her paws and wash herself. It was so cute to watch her do this. She loved chasing the lizards around and even brought one into the house that she played with until I found it and put back outside. 2 years later my job moved us to Memphis, TN. This house had a open hall way upstairs that over looked the family room. Babe loved to run up down the hall and look down in the family. Babe started wanting water from the tap. She would jump up in the kitchen sink for her water and she got more use out of the jetted tub then I did for her water. Less then a year there we were transferred back to VA. I bought a home in the country. Babe loved the sun room in this house, she loved laying in the windows and watching the birds and she could see me out on the deck. I never let her go outside with out me she was an indoor cat. She did sneak out some but never went far. A couple of years ago I broke my collar bone in a bike accident. After my surgery while I was recovering Babe would lay on my shoulder. I moved back to the Richmond area 15 months ago just one block over from the house I lived in when I adopted Babe. She came home to die. I have not stopped crying since. I miss her so very much. She loved me unconditionally.

  94. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    Dear Jan,

    Thanks for your comment! I’m sorry to hear that you lost your cat. I can’t believe how difficult it is to overcome a cat’s death. I’ve lost several cats over the years, and still feel the pain immensely.

    But, I keep welcoming more cats into my life because I love them SO much! I believe that getting another cat after a cat’s death is very helpful and healing, as long as you remember that each cat is different.

    And like you said, it’s so important to give yourself time to grieve your cat’s death.


  95. When I lost my first cat that had been my own to totally look after, I couldn’t bear coming home and not be greeted by a little furry face. Then I got two Siamese and now I can’t begin to imagine a life without one or two Siamese boys. You certainly need time to grieve and everybody will be different. Some people go out immediately and find another pet pal and some might take months or years. when one of my boys passed away his brother was so distraught I had to go and find him a companion and got a part Siamese girl. My boy settled down immediately, although I know that he missed his brother. When he passed away, much as I love my girl she is a little aloof and so I got another Siamese boy. It has taken my partner a long time to realise that he is just as important! To me having my cats is up there with breathing.