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9 Natural Ways to Increase Your Sex Drive

The best tips on how to increase female sex drive are about improving your self-concept and physical health. If you don’t feel good about your body, you won’t enjoy special times with your husband.

The health benefits of healthy sexual intimacy include stronger bones and muscles, less stress and depression, better memory and a stronger immune system. Some doctors even say we should have sex four times a week. That’s why it’s so important to learn natural ways to increase your libido as a woman. Because sex is incredibly healthy! If your sex drive (whether you’re male or female) isn’t that high, you need to read these natural ways to increase libido for women…

If your libido is low because you don’t feel good about your body, read How to Love Yourself When You Don’t Feel Good Enough. Those tips are emotional and spiritual – because the better you feel about yourself, the more likely you’ll want to share yourself with someone you care about.

The side benefits of increasing female’s sex drive include increased body confidence, self-esteem, and overall health, wellness, and immunity.

9 Natural Ways to Increase Female Sex Drive

“Not having a physically intimate relationship with a man is a waste of yourself,” said Helen Gurley Brown. “Like leaving a Ferrari in the garage.”

If you’re Ferrari is getting rusty and dry, you might try these tips…

1. Research the effects of your prescription medication

If you have absolutely no appetite for intimacy, look at the medications you’re taking. Some, such as birth control pills or antidepressants, can inhibit your desire to be physically intimate. Talk to your doctor about how your prescriptions are affecting your hormones, brain chemicals, and physical desires. You may not be able to stop taking your prescription, but your doctor may have other tips for increasing female libido.

It’s important to determine if there’s a physical cause for low sex drive in women. Sometimes it’s hormonal or chemically-based, which means that increasing libido isn’t as easy as getting a book on couples massage or learning how to love your body. Talk to your doctor if you think there are physical reasons for your low female libido.

2. Embrace and celebrate your female sensuality

“Millions of people – both men and women – aren’t comfortable with their intimate selves or physical bodies,” says Dr Marian Dunn, the Division Chief of the Center for Human Sexuality at SUNY Downstate Medical Center. Get comfortable with your sensual side by pampering your body, getting lots of exercise, and learning how you like to be touched. The best way to do this is to explore your body – and your partner’s.

Tantric Massage For Couples: Essential Guide To Love Making & Couples Massage by Cindy Steele is a gentle, beautiful way to become more physically intimate as a couple. The more admiration, respect, and loved you feel as a woman, the more “in the mood” you’ll feel.

Trying couples massage will help you learn how to be honest and real with your partner in bed. Believe me – I know this is easier said than done! But we have to take risks in order to increase our natural female sex drive.

3. Unwind before you hit the sheets

There’s nothing less intimate than worrying about bills, work, investments, or politics when you’re trying to spice up your love life! To de-stress before you go to bed, have a bubble bath, snuggle with your partner, give him a massage, or go for a long walk. Remember that the health benefits of intimacy start long before you jump into the sack. A natural way to increase female sex drive is to relax and let go of the details.

Part of unwinding is connecting with your partner. Does he help you relax and enjoy your body? Are you and he emotionally connected? If not, read How to Stop Worrying About Your Relationship Problems. Sometimes you need to put your problems aside before you can allow your libido to run wild.

4. Get exercise you enjoy, that makes you feel sexy

The more oxygen, fresh air, and movement you get during the day, the more sexy you’ll feel overall – and the more your libido will improve. The health benefits of physical intimacy are totally connected to how active you are during the day. The less active you are, the less you’ll feel like sex. Your libido will continue to decrease, and so will your physical health.

Do you and your husband work out or exercise together? This might be a natural way to increase your sex drive as a couple, especially if your workouts involve wrestling. But not boxing.

5. Avoid white sugar, processed foods, and fat

Have you ever noticed how heavy, tired, and sick you feel after eating fatty high-sugar foods? I just started making this connection a couple years ago, and it has made a huge difference in what I eat and how I feel.

Here’s one of the most natural ways to increase your sex drive: stay away from the fast food, soda pop, and processed sugar. Healthy fruits, veggies, grains, beans, and the occasional hunk of lean protein will make you feel better and more energetic. Plus, the right foods can improve your mood. Remember that healthy foods aren’t just a natural way to increase your sex drive, they also help with weight loss (it’s an upward spiral!).

6. Meet your partner halfway across the bed

If you crave physical intimacy every night and your partner wants sex once a month, find a way to meet in the middle. Enjoying the health benefits of intimacy involves openly discussing how to make your love life better. Remember that making compromises and meeting halfway will strengthen your marriage, which can increase your physical intimacy.

how to increase female sex drive womenLulu Sensual Sweet Almond Massage Oil is a must-have if you’re going to experiment with couples massage. Experiment with different types and scents of massage oils. Let your sheets get dirty, don’t worry about the mattress! Just relax and have fun withy our partner.

Talk to a counselor or even a sex therapist if you feel angry, resentful, bitter, or indifferent to your partner. Don’t allow your feelings to fester.

7. Improve your body confidence – the best way to increase your sex drive

The more self-confident you feel when you’re undressed, the more you’ll relax and enjoy physical intimacy. If you feel awkward and embarrassed in the bedroom, you won’t want to be intimate – much less enjoy the health benefits of love. You don’t have to look perfect or be perfect to enjoy intimacy. To increase your female libido, remember that your partner isn’t focusing on your flaws. Your partner just wants to have sex, and he loves your body just the way it is.

For tips on improving your body confidence as a woman, read How to Feel Beautiful No Matter What You Look Like.

8. See the funny side of bedroom mishaps

Sue Johanson of the Sunday Night Sex Show told George Stroumboulopoulos (the host of The Hour) to laugh about your intimate escapades with your partner. Laughing with your partner increases feelings of connection, which will leads to more physical intimacy and health benefits.

How often do you laugh with your partner? Are you and he emotionally connected, and do you have fun together? Maybe that’s where you need to start. Maybe you need to get to know him again – and let him get to know you.

9. Experiment with new ways to increase your female sex drive

To increase libido, stay away from the same old routine! New toys, lingerie, places, or even foods can increase your emotional connection and improve your love life and libido.

increase womens libido sex driveShibari Premium Intimate Lubricant will help with the experimentation process. It’s soft and silky, and will loosen you up. Your body may need a bit of a jumpstart to get the juices flowing – and lubes can be really helpful.

You might be happy to discover that your satisfaction in bed will increase as you get older. According to the The American Journal of Medicine, sexually active older women are more satisfied with their sex lives than they were when they were younger. The majority of female study participants report frequent arousal and orgasm, which continued into old age despite low sexual desire. Read Sexual Activity and Satisfaction in Healthy Community-dwelling Older Women for more information.

Do you know any natural ways to increase female sex drive? I welcome your clean, edited, not-racy comments below. I can’t offer advice or counseling, but I welcome your thoughts.

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17 thoughts on “9 Natural Ways to Increase Your Sex Drive”

  1. Anyone can feel a decrease in their sexual desire regarding their partner, especially if they’ve been together for a long time. If it persists, it could soon become a source of discomfort, anxiety, or even depression. This lack of desire could be caused by many factors (both physical and psychological), and particularly by stress. I tried a product called mental waves for happiness and it helped me alot, it actually revived my marriage.

  2. Changing how you see yourself can definitely increase your sex drive. I think reading books about increasing female libido will also help, because you’ll learn about your own body.

    Your husband thinks you’re sexy and beautiful just as you are — and the more you open up and cut loose in the bedroom, the more he’ll be attracted to you. My husband and I have a good sex life, but I am a bit hesitant and shy about really cutting loose. A fantastic sex life is about being vulnerable, and not caring what your partner thinks.

    My friend’s sex drive plummeted after menopause, which is why it’s so important to figure out why you’re not interested in sex before you start trying to increase your sex drive. If you know you don’t feel sexy because of a lack of self-confidence or self-esteem, then that’s what you need to focus on: feeling better about yourself.

    And, how you increase your self-perceived worth really depends on who you are and what you think about yourself. What are your strengths and best qualities? What do you love about yourself?

  3. Thank you so much for all the useful info.. I’m a 32 yr old woman who has never had much of a sex drive. I’ve been with the same man for 14 yrs and he is obviously very unhappy by now. I’ve never been happy with my body, and how I see myself. Unfortunately I have epilepsy, am on several megs for that and have only state insurance, so no Dr to talk to… I know I need to talk to my neurologist about my meds, but do you have any other suggestions as far as my views of myself, happiness, etc? Need help!

  4. Have you tried going to a naturopathic physician or a sex therapist? Sometimes the cause of low female libido is psychological, not physical.

    One way to increase your sex drive is to think about sex more.

  5. Actually, the happier I am with my life, the less I think about sex.

    Exercising and eating healthy have steadily decreased my libido. I’m stumped. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried therapy and “meeting halfway”, but when my boyfriend and I talk about it I just get angry and frustrated, and he gets depressed.

    I’m only 24 and I think there is no hope for me.

  6. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    Thanks for your comment. I’m glad these tips for increasing a woman’s sex drive naturally were helpful…or will be helpful for you in the future!

    I think prescription medications and a too-busy lifestyle are two big reasons women don’t feel sexy.

  7. That’s all. I am not currently married but I will keep this in mind in the future. Thanks for such a very informative post. I know that a lot of couples were being helped by this.

  8. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    Thanks, fitness girl! I really think that having a better sex life isn’t just about improving female libido, but about being a happier and healthier woman in general. This means watching what we eat, exercising, doing things that make us happy, achieving our goals, and living our best lives.

  9. hi,
    Thanks for such an amazing post. This really helps a lot to women in increasing libido……
    I really really appreciated this information…

  10. It never ceases to amaze me why the majority of today’s women assume men to be naturally superior to them in relation to sex and the intimacies explored within the sacred bedchamber. In actual fact, no man can ever compete with a woman sexually. Unless of course he is a well practiced disciple of ancient Chinese Taoist or Tantric Buddhist sexual practices, and therefore a master of withholding his life force ejaculate. Such disciplined men are quite rare these days!

    It is true, generally speaking, that a man’s libido is more active than a woman’s. This is especially true for women who never flex or rarely contract the muscles of their pelvic floor and make them strong. However a woman who actively practices pelvic floor exercises, flexing and squeezing her luscious love muscles throughout her daily life will easily match and often surpass the libido of a hot fiery male.

    There is so much healing within pages of the ancient Chinese sexual manuals teaching that man by his very nature is yang, hot like a burning fire, always moving, always active, always ready. Man is symbolized by the fiery hot sun and his libido incorporates all these essential yang male qualities.

    Completely opposite of the male is the female. She is Yin, dark, cold, freezing like ice. She is completely still, like a dark black night, receptive like a vessel, her symbol is the feminine moon and her libido is like ice. Naturally, it takes a lot longer to bring ice to the boil than it does to heat a fire that is already burning hot. Even so, a woman who regularly exercises her pelvic floor muscles is able to melt away her naturally icy cold libido and heat herself up internally, to easily challenge the libido of her heated male counterpart.

    No man can ever compete with a woman sexually! Just think, should it be her nature and desire to do so, any healthy woman whose morals permitted, could intimately entertain an entire football team easily if she so wished. Then while they were sleeping and resting from having been graced with her goddess like body and pelvic floor talents, she might make dinner for them all, vacuum the floor and then even paint her nails, while wondering when they will awake and hopefully begin to entertain her some more and relieve her boredom.

    I’m not suggesting that women should conduct themselves in such a highly immoral fashion; I’m simply gifting your intelligence with an understanding of the exceptional prowess of the female enchantress and her sexual superiority in comparison with a male. In ancient times these things were well understood and this is one of the reasons why so many wise men chose to practice withholding their ejaculate, so that they could actually satisfy their women, knowing that they take much longer to be satisfied than men, and so that they actually could compete with them sexually.


  11. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen


    I’m sorry to hear those medications ruined your life, and affected your libido like that. I hope you can talk to your doctor, and perhaps get your life back…and if the first doctor you talk to doesn’t help, get a second opinion!

  12. I am a 34 year old female and ws recently diagnosed with high cholesterol as well as High Blood Pressure. These illnesses seem to be passed on from my parents. I am chronic medications for both and it has ruined my life. Tried life changes but the problem seems to be too severe and therefore medication is the only alterantive. I use to be so active sexually, 4 times a day was too little. I have gone from being the voluptious sexual blond to maybe once a month and I cannot stand it. I am also now depressed because of it. I want my life back so badly I will do anything. I have all of these weird thoughts on what I could do but I have children and none of them are an option.

  13. Hi Laurie

    Great tips!

    Especially the first one: Examine your prescription medication. Recently, I’ve been running into a lot of people who are on some sort of prescription. It’s shocking!

    My wife told me that like most of the people she works with on “something”.

    As far as your post…if I may add, I think much of improving a woman’s libido has to do with identifying the actual problem (or problems).

    It seems like (as a society) we’re moving towards this QUICK FIX lazy way of solving problems in general.

    Instead we need to relax and take some time to evaluate the actual cause.

    For example, if there negative tension or a lack of respect in the relationship, THAT should be addressed.

    If the low libido is a result to poor health and diet, then a plan needs to be created to solve that.

    Another huge factor that affects a woman’s libido is the guy’s desirability (based on his attitude and behavior). For example, a lot of guys will get angry at their wives when she isn’t in the mood on a particular night, which doesn’t solve the problem.

    Even worse, it makes him come off as a guy who can’t handle when things don’t go his way. (Not a attractive.)

    He aslo indirectly communicates that he is only concerned about his own physical needs.

    And depending on the emotional sensitivity of his partner, he’ll end up conditioning to be repulsed by the idea of having sex with him, because he’s not projecting a Desirable/Attractive attitude as well as being someone who is able to connect with her on a deep non-sexual level.

    Again, great post.

    Take care.

  14. I am the Founder of the Sense of Smell Lab, a world leader in pioneering products that use our sense of smell for health and wellness by enhancing moods and influencing behavior.

    One area of our research that I find particularly exciting is how aromas assist with female sexual health, and especially women suffering from low libido.

  15. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    Hi Ludwig,

    Thanks for your comment, and I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling with your libido. It sounds like you’re doing great for a man of almost 80 years old, though!

    I’m afraid I can’t offer any tips for improving male libido, but I do suggest talking to your doctor. Actually, I suggest talking to a specialist, such as a urologist, since he or she may have more specific knowledge on libido than a general practitioner.

    Best wishes,

  16. I am a 79 year old healthy male. Moderate drinker, i-2 glasses wine,
    I am about 10-15 lbs overweight (184)still enjoy making love with my 69 year old wife. However losing my erection about 5-8 min int love making. I can not reach aclimax, or hardly anymore.
    Til recently I was still able to reach a climax but it is rapidly waning. I take cholesterol medication, 20 mg crestor and a baby aspirin and also i Niacin pill a day Can I get my semen production back,is there any help for me?
    Any comment is much appreciated
    Sincerely, Ludwig Putz