My tips on how to stop hating your life are based on the reasons I used to hate my life. It hasn’t been easy – it was a long road from “I hate my life” to “I love my life.”
I hated my life because I didn’t any control, I was constantly told what to do and when to do it, and I let my emotions drive my decisions. When I was a kid, I lived in several different foster homes because my mom struggled with schizophrenia. I didn’t have a dad – he went back to his home country of Israel shortly after I was born. I also hated my life because I was a teenager. I loved school, but definitely wasn’t one of the cool kids.
Why are you searching for what to do to stop hating your life? That’s the key to turning it around. Isolate the problem, and work on it. For instance, if you hate your life because of addiction problems – or if you drink and use drugs because you’re bored or unhappy, read 10 Benefits of Quitting Drinking. Using drugs and alcohol just makes life worse.
Figuring out what to do to stop hating your life depends on the reasons you hate your life. Your first step is to figure out why your life sucks. If you can’t stop thinking, “I hate my life”, it’s time to get out of your rut!
4 Ways to Stop Hating Your Life
When I don’t have power or control, I hate my life. So, what did I do stop hating life? I got independent. More recently, I’ve learned the power of acceptance and surrender to God….but first I took control of my life. I took responsibility and started changing what I could in my life.
1. Take action
How long have you been saying, “I hate my life”? Think about the first time you realized your life sucks. Is it because of your family, school, work, or friends? Or maybe you hate who you are and where your life is going. Maybe you hate yourself because of the bad things you’ve done.
What is awful about your life? Give me three reasons, three things that make you say “I hate my life.” Start getting specific and real.
2. Find ways to gain control over your life
When I hate my life, it’s because I don’t have power. I hated my childhood because I couldn’t do what I wanted, say what I wanted, or go where I wanted.
Part of me really hated my life in Africa because it was almost the same thing: I was constrained by the culture, the threats of carjackings, the possible muggings. I hate when I can’t make small and big choices, when I feel like I’m being told what to do and how to do it.
The best way to stop hating your life is to empower yourself. Take control of the things you can control. Learn the Serenity Prayer: “God, help me accept the things I can’t change, courage to change things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
3. Do what matters to you
You are important in this world, and your presence makes a difference! I hated my life because I thought I was useless and good for nothing. I thought everyone was better than me. Everyone had better parents, more money, more self-confidence, more skills, and more possibilities.
One of the things that helped me learn how to stop hating my life was finding something that matters to me. In How to Stop Being Jealous I describe how I found my place in this world. Finding your place will help you stop hating your life. You don’t necessarily have to start blogging if that doesn’t matter to you… but if you do what matters I can almost guarantee your days of saying “I hate my life” will end.
4. Plug in to the Source of all good things
If you hate your life, a big part of you hates your self – and the root of self-hatred is disconnection from God. If you’re not spiritually aligned with the One who created you and who loves you so much that the hairs on your head are numbered, then of course you hate your life! God is the source of love, wisdom, and peace.
I am 100% convinced that everyone who says I hate my life does not have a relationship with God. It is impossible to be spiritually connected to Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, and hate your life and yourself. Of course learning how to stop hating your life isn’t as easy as accepting Christ into your heart, because love is a process. The fruits of the spirit take time to grow and get juicy.
Thinking about your relationship with God is the most important thing when you’re wondering what to do to stop hating your life. Why? Because nothing else matters. Not clothes, not your appearance, not your friends, and not your job. It all boils down to God.
One of my favorite books is This Is Not the Life I Ordered: 50 Ways to Keep Your Head Above Water When Life Keeps Dragging You Down. Written by four authors, it’s the culmination of weekly coaching sessions that they created to support each another through life’s ups and downs. These weekly sessions helped them deal with the I hate my life feelings. It’s an encouraging, inspiring book for women who hate their lives because they feel trapped and isolated.
If you hate your life because you’ve made mistakes that you regret, read 3 Ways to Turn Your Life Around.
I welcome your thoughts on what to do to stop hating your life, but I can’t offer advice or counseling. If you know none of these tips will help you solve the “I hate my life” problem, please talk to a counselor. Life is too short and precious to be hated!