Mind & Soul > Emotional Health > 6 Ways to Find Peace After a Breakup

6 Ways to Find Peace After a Breakup

These tips for finding inner peace after a breakup are better than anything research or science can prove, because they’re from actual people who found peace after losing someone they loved.

how to find peace after breaking upThese tips are inspired by a reader who said these very important words to her husband. He was cheating on her, and she needed to find a way to make peace with him and their breakup. Here’s what she wrote in the comments section of What to Do After Your Husband Leaves You for Another Woman:

I calmly said, “I’m letting you go.” I feel an enormous amount of peace. How I wish that peace would always stay with me! Alas, it seems to be a fairweather friend. Some days I feel good – great actually. I am optimistic and have high hopes for a much brighter future. For all of us. Then I have terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. Days were I wish I could crawl inside a box and never come out. And often there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to my emotions. But I have found that the serenity and even joy that comes with acceptance is the best way to find inner peace after a breakup.

After a breakup, you’ll experience every emotion: anger, sadness, grief, depression, relief. These tips on finding peace after a breakup will help you move into acceptance, freedom, and joy.

How to Find Peace After a Breakup

Remember that what worked for other people may – or may not – work for you. You need to experiment with different ways to find inner peace after a breakup. Me, I rely on God. My sense of spirituality is strong and affects every part of my life. But other people find different sources of peace more accessible and comforting.

You need to explore different ideas until you find what works for you.

1. Expect pain and peace to take turns

You’re grieving the breakdown of not only a marriage or relationship, but also the end of your hopes and dreams of a future with this person. It’s natural and healthy to grieve your loss! Part of finding peace after a breakup is expecting and accepting the painful emotions. Your mind, heart, and soul are cleansing themselves. Your body is saying good-bye to what you lost, and preparing itself to welcome a new chapter.

“What helped me find peace after a breakup was knowing that grief and pain comes in waves,” says Mark on How to Let Go of Someone You Love. “I expect some hours or moments to be gut wrenching. Other days I can go for hours feeling good, or lost in my work. Peace isn’t something I feel all the time, but it does come more often now.”

2. Try to find balance

After breaking up, you’re more likely to find peace if you allow yourself to experience your emotions. When you feel like the pain, rage, or misery is overwhelming, give yourself a cocoon for half an hour. But try not to get sucked into one stage of grief (eg, anger, bitterness, weeping, etc). Be angry, but force yourself to see the good in this breakup. Accepting that this is the way your relationship was meant to unfold is one of the best ways to find inner peace after a breakup.

Finding peace is about experiencing each of your emotions after a breakup, but not getting stuck in any one feeling. If you can go beyond experiencing to expressing your emotions, you will find inner peace. Get your feelings out of your head and heart. Write in a journal, paint on a blank canvas, run up a mountain, dive into the ocean. Work through your negative emotions so you can experience the peaceful ones.

3. Allow your fears and anxieties space to breathe

Here’s an email from a reader called Teresa:

how to find peace after breakup“My boyfriend of three years doesn’t want to be with me anymore,” she said in response to 7 Ways to Deal With Depression After a Breakup. “He broke up with me twice before but I begged him not to leave me. So he stayed. Then last time we broke up for about two weeks and I didn’t look for him, he called me and wanted to get back together. We were fine but now everything is bad again. He makes me feel it’s my fault. I talked to a counselor who told me how to find peace after a breakup.  She said to listen to my body because I tend to rush into decisions without checking in with what my gut says. I do find it more peaceful to stop and ask my body what it’s trying to tell me. This helps me find peace even though we are definitely breaking up.”

Before you can find peace after a breakup, you need to process your feelings of insecurity and fear. Otherwise, you’ll end up rushing into a different relationship before you’re ready – or you’ll make the mistake of getting back together with your ex for the wrong reasons.

4. Remember how you found peace after pain in the past

You are the expert on you. And, this probably isn’t the first disappointment or heartbreak you’ve experienced. How have you coped with loss in the past? What worked to help you be strong, and how can you apply your own wisdom and insights? This is one of the best ways to find peace after a breakup because you know yourself. You know yourself better than anyone, and deep down you know what will work for you.

I found peace after a breakup by admitting that I desperately needed to be loved. The last breakup I faced was painful and difficult. I was 33 years old; I’d always been single and never had a long-term relationship. All I wanted to do was settle down and get married. When my boyfriend broke up with me, I wanted him back so bad! I didn’t even think about searching for tips on how to find inner peace after breaking up….I just curled up and cried.

But then I got up. I allowed myself to grieve, and then I squared my shoulders and accepted the fact that I wasn’t meant to be with him. I didn’t exactly find the secret of how to be happy single, but I did recover and heal.

5. Spend time with people who are peaceful, kind, and gentle

I was at a party last night, and I met a guy who was a cauldron of emotional turmoil. I could feel waves of insecurity, animosity, and conflict emanating from him. His negative energy was unsettling, and it made me uncomfortable…so I spent most of the party avoiding him.

How to Find Peace After a Breakup

How to Find Peace After a Breakup

One of the best tips on how to find peace after a breakup is to avoid people or situations that make you feel anxious, unsettled, upset, or uncomfortable. Later, after you’ve healed and moved on from the breakup, you can spend time with people who are more challenging.

For now, however, I encourage you to connect with people who are peaceful, supportive, encouraging, and even spiritual.

6. Connect with the only true Source of peace

Are you connected to God – the Source of all inspiration, creativity, freedom, and peace? After a breakup is the perfect time to find peace by connecting or reconnecting with a Higher Power. I’ve found so much freedom in my relationship with God – freedom to be me, freedom to live fully. Freedom to trust that everything – even the most painful breakups and even when I struggle to find peace – is working out the way God has planned.

How does God see you? How do you see Him? Take time to reflect on your relationship with Him. If you’re a believer who wants to reconnect with God, read A Prayer for Healing After a Breakup.

What do you think? What advice would you give yourself on how to find peace after breaking up with someone you care about? I welcome your thoughts below; you may find it helpful to share your thoughts on peace, joy, and freedom after a breakup.


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5 thoughts on “6 Ways to Find Peace After a Breakup”

  1. May God continually bless you, thank you Laurie. I really needed this. Just had a painful break up. My boyfrienf of 1 yr and nine months suddenly broke up with me with a very unreasonable excuse that I truly cannot understand.

  2. 4th day after breakup — So far, I have found that spending time around a table with well-mannered Christian family and friends (while playing games or eating delicious and proper portions) is so very helpful. Accepting the fact that my emotions will fluctuate is key as well as spending time with people who understand it will be so. I have been keeping myself very well groomed. Looking the best I have ever looked as I am wearing summer dresses and keeping my hair and face looking fresh. I feel good about myself. I deserve to feel good and befriend myself now. I try to focus on what is around me and remind myself of how very thankful I am. I go on many walks. I talk to strangers and joined one senior on his walk, because I knew him! It was very nice to have his advice and input. I text my counsellor who is a good Christian and honest about how things are. I have been cleaning too as this makes me feel somewhat in control. I’m trying to point out to myself all the things that I have to look forward to, instead of denying or regretting the past. I have given up my control and yielded it to the Lord. The Book “Trusting God” by Jerry Bridges is also a life savour.
    I would recommend it to all believers in The Lord…
    Best of luck and love…

  3. I am swallowing in a sea of emotions questioning myself WHY! But I am truly working on accepting that it is God’s perfect will. Your article did give me some insight on how to deal with this loss but I thought he cared for me deeply.

  4. Dear Marie,

    It sounds like you’re not ready to find peace after a breakup because you’re not ready to let go of your husband! That’s awesome; you must love him very much.

    Here’s an article I wrote about addictions and marriage:

    8 Ways to Cope With an Alcoholic Husband

    You may also be encouraged by my free weekly newsletter, called SheBlossoms. I help women look upwards to grow healthy and strong, emotionally and spiritually. You may find it helpful, and you can sign up above.

    Take care of yourself, and stay open to God’s love, healing, power, and freedom!