4 Ways to Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway


Yes, you can be scared – and still achieve your goals! Here are four ways to feel the fear and do it anyway, from Pat Barone. She is a personal and performance coach with Catalyst Coaching.

“Fear might be the natural impulsive reaction when sudden change occurs, but it’s not the best reaction,” says Barone. “In fact, fear is about the worst place to go during crisis or periods of change.” She’s referring to the U.S. financial crunch, which is causing world-wide fear, anxiety, and lifestyle changes.  It’s easy to be afraid — but fear paralyzes and prevents you from moving forward, in the direction of your dreams.

“To fear is one thing.  To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another.”  ~Katherine Paterson. If your fear is related to stage fright, read How to Deal With Performance Anxiety for Musicians. And, here are four tips for achieving your goals from an experienced life coach…





4 Ways to Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

Fear is a powerful emotion that shuts us down, and cuts us off from opportunity and possibility.  When we feel fear, we rarely see things clearly or notice the good in our lives.

First, let’s define fear: F.E.A.R. = FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL.

Fear and anxiety causes a series of reactions

Our bodies constrict, tighten up, look down or inward, huddle in, and try to suppress the fear.  We aren’t looking forward, we’re looking inward — and this doesn’t help us achieve our goals!  We can’t see the bigger picture.  Then, we start blaming/shaming in an attempt to feel less responsible for what is occurring.  We blame other people.  Chemical reactions occur in the body, with adrenaline and stress hormones flowing and circulating throughout our bodies.  Under these circumstances, rash decisions are often made and we may start to “awfulize” our situation – making it worse than it actually is.

To feel the fear and do it anyway, be positive and take charge of the obstacles to achieving your goals.

1.  Assess your life – Look at what’s really important to you.  Be clear about what what your goals (achieving financial abundance, getting into college, losing weight, getting a promotion, etc) means to you. How important are your goals to your life?



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If your career or professional life needs an overhaul, read How to Quit Your Job When You’re Scared.

2. Quarantine Fear – Clear fear from your thoughts.  Whenever you notice fear and anxiety entering your thoughts, write them down on a piece of paper and systematically tear that paper up and throw it in the garbage.  One of my clients created a “fear jar.”  She took a large 5-gallon plastic water container and, every time she felt fear entering her mind, she wrote it down, crumpled it up and put it in the container.  She was amazed how quickly it grew!  It was confirmation of how much she had been living in fear in her life.

feel the fear do it anyway3.  Go on the Offensive – Educate yourself; find your values; change the way you handle money; formulate a positive plan of action; get creative; and re-evaluate your priorities.  Adopt an attitude of gratitude — because being grateful is the quickest mood-changer there, is and it doesn’t cost a dime.

4.  Spend Your Money Differently – Make thoughtful, considerate decisions, purchases and investments.  Make sure you feel good about where your money is going.  Going to a restaurant?  Spend your money at a place you love.  In essence, you’re saying you want them to stay in business. If you’re anxious about money, read 4 Tips for Facing Financial Fears.

Realizing that you are making a choice about how to think is actually empowering.  It reaffirms that you are in charge of your decisions, your attitude, and your life! If you struggle with perfectionism — which leads to fear and anxiety — read my article about overcoming perfectionism.

What do you think about these tips for feeling fear and achieving your goals anyway? I welcome your comments below…

Pat Barone is a performance coach with Catalyst Coaching; she helps clients all over the world make positive change in their lives.





xo


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7 thoughts on “4 Ways to Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

  • Laurie Post author

    “To be scared is one thing…to let fear grab you by the tail and swing you ’round is a whole other thing.” – Kathleen Somebody.

    That’s my favourite quip about feeling the fear and doing it anyway!

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    Dear Mahesh,

    I’m sorry to hear that you feel stuck, afraid, and unhappy. Sometimes, fear doesn’t just stop us from achieving our goals…it can disrupt our emotional health.

    It sounds like you need more help than “how to feel the fear and do it anyway” — you need to talk to someone about why you’re so sad and afraid. I encourage you to talk to a counselor or trusted friend. Be honest and vulnerable, and reach out to someone in person for help. Sometimes an objective, rational outside perspective is the best way to overcome obstacles in life.

    I hope this helps, and wish you all the best.

    Laurie
    .-= Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen´s last blog post …Establish Good Financial Habits – 6 Ways to Make Money Saving Tips Stick =-.

  • mahesh

    Iam Mahesh,working as a software engineer.Till the age of 8 i was a cool guy.But latter i started to realize what the world was.i couldn’t judge myself of what iam,whats my aim.I could set any goals to myself as iam suffering with this so called FEAR.iam not able to face the world.I could see lots of injustice being done all over the place.I always fear of what people think of me.But I lose all my hopes.I become helpless.Please kindly help me what to do,as i stuck in this dungeon.I feel like i am been caught in some sought of drowsy place where iam been watched and being laughted.

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    Dashini,

    I’m sorry for the situation you’re in — it sounds very difficult! I don’t know anything about Singapore or Malaysia or studying there, so I have nothing to suggest.

    Actually, I do suggest that you talk to the people in your school further! Find out what the school fees are and if you can get a job to pay for them.

    And if you can’t find the money for the school fees, perhaps going back to where you’re from in Malaysia will be good for you! I don’t know anything about your situation, but I do know that sometimes the “worst” thing happens to us, and it turns out to be not so bad after all. There might be some positive aspects to going back, especially as it seems you’re not getting along too well with your auntie.

    I hope this helps a little, I wish you good luck.

    Laurie

  • dashineni

    hi i m dashini …. i m poor gal i born in Malaysia but come to Singapore to study …. how to study well … i can but my auntie sometimes scold me in badwords… And whn I go somewhere n come late , my auntie say tht i my good for nothing … i will tell them i will come late before going to a place… i m a good gal not like others , they will go to pub .. if i talk to her why she is doin like this , she don’t reply n just murmur something n just back off… in my school they said tht they only help me for this year then next year i have to go back to Malaysia to study if i can’t pay my fees…. wht can i do …In Singapore they only help for Singaporeans not for foreigners …..

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    Hi Dashineni,

    I don’t know how old you are, but if you live with your grandmom, you must be a minor. And, unfortunately, this means you might not be able to do much about her rules.

    However, that said, I do suggest that you talk to your grandmom about why she doesn’t want you talk to boys on the telephone. She might be afraid or anxious about something, and it might be good to find that out! If you know what she’s worried about, then you can reassure her or help her cope with her fears.

    I also suggest compromising with her about stuff like the length of your phone calls, whether she’s in the room, and even which boys you can talk to. If she knows you’re only talking for 15 minutes with her right there, then she might be more likely to let you talk to boys.

    Try these tips out, and let me know how it goes!

    Laurie

  • dashineni

    i m dashini here …. my grandmom don let me talk to a boy in telephone … they think i will not be good if i talk to a guy…..
    One day , i was having a phone number n it was a boy’s number..
    My grandmom ask me who is it i say is my frend… then she ask wht frend i cant say tht is a boy…. so i lied its a gal…. then she ask me to bring the phone to her…. then he hanged the phone…after tht she was saying y i m makin frend with a boy…… i was so scared wht if she tell my aunt …. nobody in my family is patience….
    Wht can i do ?