Being single doesn’t mean nobody wants you; it simply means you’re waiting for the right person. These tips on how to be happy when you’re a single woman will help you find peace, joy, and freedom.
“I enjoy and love my company but being a single woman does make me sad at times,” says Barb on What to Do When You’re Tired of Being Single. “I love cooking and it would be nice to have dinner with someone several times a week. But I’ve lived with people all my life and I need my space to be alone, I can’t have some man around me every single day expecting me to make his life whole.”
Here’s my favorite part of her comment: “A relationship should be a complement to what you already have going on in your life. You should love yourself and be happy as a single woman because you can do things you love. Living with people is not easy!” Enjoy the season you’re in, for it too shall pass. In this article I share a few ideas for a happy life as a single woman, to help you reconnect with yourself.
Before we get to my tips on how to be happy single, you have to read the rest of Barb’s comment:
“I’m a neat freak and my last boyfriend cleaned whenever he felt like it,” she said. “He tried to treat my place like his which was not good. He wasn’t good with money at all and his plans in life only included him and his other family he had. I never wrote when I was with him, I would play music and he would turn it down. He hogged the computer and tv and was using everything I had. The only thing he didn’t use was my tampons and underwear and toothbrush. He ate and drunk stuff and never replaced anything, he broke my new bed by jumping on it and never replaced it. I never got a chance to decorate my own home the way I wanted to.”
There, my friend, is one of the best tips on how to be happy as a single woman: remember the irritations of being in a relationship with a man you don’t connect with!
How to Be Happy When You’re Single
“Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty and sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.” – from Sex and the City.
Being single is simply a stage of your life. It’s not a punishment or a curse – it can actually be something to be grateful for and enjoy. You have two choices:
- You can chose to see being single as a lonely time spent anxiously waiting for “Mr. Right.”
- You can chose to view being single as an opportunity to have a love affair with the most important person in your life…you. Or God, if you’re a believer.
Have you ever noticed that some single people think they’d be happier married, while many married people secretly (or not so secretly) think they’d be happy single?
If you recently broke up with someone you love, you may feel confused, angry, anxious, and fearful about what lies ahead. You may have forgotten how to be happy as a single woman. Maybe you’re approaching 40 and worried that you’ll soon have to learn how to be happy without children.
Enjoy your freedom to be yourself
One of the best tips on how to be happy single is freedom. Your time is your own. So is your money and your home, your car and your dog! With no one to answer to or be accountable to, you can come and go as you please. You can schedule activities in advance or you can act on impulse. You can come home after a bad day and made a huge bowl of hot buttered popcorn for dinner! You can paint, write, or redecorate your home any way you want.
If you’re just coming out of a long-term relationship, it may take a while to appreciate your newfound freedom. If you are not happy single, make a list of things you wanted to do but couldn’t when you were in a relationship. Do the first thing on your list before the month ends!
Use your time to re-evaluate your relationships
Sometimes we allow our love life to overtake everything else. We may let our friendships go, or associate with people we don’t really like (eg, an ex-boyfriend’s or ex-husband’s relatives or friends). If you had good relationships with your ex’s friends and family, you were fortunate. But if you didn’t enjoy spending time with his friends or family, now you can re-evaluate who you spend your time with.
Here’s how to be happy single: imagine spending your holidays and vacations doing what you want where you want without negotiation. No more arguing or compromising about which family to visit for Christmas or Thanksgiving this year. You don’t have to host drunken football parties or weekly poker nights (unless of course they were your idea in the first place!). This tip on how to be happy single will help you re-evaluate how you spend your days – and your life.
Surround yourself with beauty and peace
A Woman’s Prayer – Oil Warmer Burner and Diffuser of Fragrance is a beautiful way to keep your home smelling of whatever scent makes you feel happy. I love vanilla and musk essential oils – my bathroom smells beautiful.
Learning how to be happy single is about paying attention to and being grateful for those small things in life.
Say good-bye to those annoying habits! (one of the best tips on how to be happy single)
Did your ex snore like a freight train? Did s/he leave dirty clothes and wet towels on the bathroom floor waiting for you to pick them up? Are you a neat freak who somehow ended up with a slob who couldn’t ever seem to throw anything away? Do you love scented candles while your ex found fragrances annoying? Did you give up on watching TV because the channel-switching was driving you crazy? Now that you’re single, the only annoying habits you’ll have to deal with are your own. And, chances are you don’t find them as annoying as your ex’s were.
If you can’t let go, read How to Emotionally Detach From Someone You Care About.
Take this opportunity to reinvent your life
One of the best tips on how to be happy single – particularly after a bad breakup – is the chance to reinvent yourself. Who do you want to be? Where do you want to go? How do you want to get there?
You’ve had a chance to learn more about what you don’t want in a boyfriend or husband, and chances are you’ve learned a lot more about yourself, your needs, and your desires. Some of these revelations may have come from lessons learned during the course of your relationship, but many others will become clearer as you spend more time being single. To be happy, view dating as an adventure. Spend time with men whose values and temperament are more aligned with the woman you are.
Read The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass by Mandy Hale if you’re finding yourself unable to be happy. She tackles the stigma of being a single woman and shares her tips for happiness, fulfillment, and meaning in life.
Talk to God. Ask Him what dreams He has for you…and start allowing yourself to dream His dreams. God’s plans for you are bigger, bolder, and more powerful than anything you could imagine for yourself.
Welcome the serenity that comes with being single
Even the easiest breakups can be stressful. Relationships often take weeks, months, and even years to end – and you may have been unhappy for a long time. Once you’ve given yourself a chance to cope with the breakup, you’ll welcome the serenity that settles in. Perhaps you were feeling confused, used, taken advantage of, or abused by your ex.
If you’re don’t think you’ll ever learn how to be happy as a single woman, give yourself time to grieve the end of your relationship. Remember that being single can be a wonderful season of your life. You may not remain single forever, so be sure to learn how to love yourself now.
Are you having trouble moving on? Read How to Let Go of Someone You Love.
I welcome your thoughts on how to be single even if you’d rather be in a relationship. Feel free to vent, cry, stomp your feet, and be bitter. It’s all welcome here. I can’t offer advice, but I read every comment.
Need marriage help? Get free relationship advice from Marriage Coach Mort Fertel.
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