How to Decide if You Should Give Your Dog Away


If you’re thinking about giving your dog away, here are several things to consider. Surrendering a dog is painful, but could be the right decision for you and your family. We sadly gave our dog away yesterday…it was the right decision for us, but we’ve been crying ever since. The following tips will help you decide if you need to give your dog away.

Should I Give My Dog Away

How to Decide if You Should Give Your Dog Away

“There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people [and dogs] we can’t live without but have to let go.” ~ Unknown. And that’s exactly how I feel: I can’t live without my dog, but I had to let her go.

I recently wrote How to Cope After Rehoming a Dog. I recently adopted a second dog (Tiffy), and the person who gave her away is having trouble coping with the loss. My article about rehoming a dog is actually a letter written by Tiffy to her previous owner. This is a chance for you to see what’s it like to move to a new home, from a dog’s perspective!





Should You Give Your Dog Away?

Here are my tips, based on our recent experience with adopting and surrendering a dog.

Separate emotion from the reasons you need to give your dog away

We adopted Jazz, a 75-pound one-year old black lab German Shepherd “puppy” from the West Vancouver SPCA just over a month ago. We fell in love with her almost immediately, which is why we couldn’t stop crying when we surrendered her back to the SPCA yesterday.

However, as heartbroken and guilty as we feel, we couldn’t ignore the practical reasons that compelled us to give our dog away. We are not the best family for this dog. If you’re trying to decide if you should give your dog away, try to separate your love from what’s best for everyone…including your dog.

Make a list of pros and cons for keeping versus giving your dog away

When you make your list of reasons for keeping or not keeping your dog, assign each reason a number.

For instance, one of the reasons we gave our dog away (a “con”) is that she is the size of a small pony and has the energy of seven dogs combined. Our house and yard isn’t big enough for her – and neither are our energy levels! So, this con rates a 10 on a scale of 1-10 (10 being “very important reason” and 1 being “hardly important at all”). When you finish making your list, add up the numbers. If the cons for keeping her outweigh the pros, then maybe you should give your dog away.

Read How to Forgive Yourself for Not Protecting Your Dog if you feel like you’re betraying your dog.

Listen to your heart and head – not other people’s opinions

My husband and I were your typical confused dog owners! We didn’t know if we should keep trying to train and bond with our dog, or if we should just give her away after one month. Everyone we talked to had a different opinion: some said to give the dog away because it’s not worth the time and hassle to train her, while others said it just takes time (up to two years!) for her to mature and learn how to be obedient and part of our “pack.” Ultimately, though, we had to make our own decision, regardless of what other dog owners or obedience trainers said.



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Do what’s best for you and your family

I’m a full-time writer and blogger; you’d think I’d be the perfect owner for a big energetic dog who needs lots of time and attention! But, she was so restless and needy, I couldn’t do my job properly. Having this young black lab around all day was emotionally draining; I was constantly worried that she might need to pee, that she was bored, that she was lonely without her SPCA dog friends.

Additionally, it was physically exhausting and time consuming to take her on four walks a day, which the dog obedience trainer recommended. As painful as it was to give our dog away, it really was the best decision for us.

Find ways to cope with guilt after finding a new home for your dog

giving dog away

Our dog Georgie, who we adopted after giving Jazz away.

Both my husband and I feel terrible that we took Jazz back…but it helps to know that we did the best we could. Our dog will be better off in a different home with a family who can give her what she needs. We’re struggling with seriously guilty feelings after giving our dog away – and the sooner we find ways to cope with our pain, the better off we’ll be. One way to cope is to talk about it with people who understand, and to write about it.

UPDATE: we adopted a different dog, Georgie, six months after giving Jazz away, and can’t imagine life without her! We always wanted a dog, but didn’t find the right one…until now. I describe how it all happened in Are You Ready to Get Another Dog?

I welcome your thoughts on how to decide if you should give your dog away. I can’t offer advice or counseling, but it may help you to share what you’re going through. I know it’s not an easy decision to make, and I wish you all the best as you decide what to do.

May you find peace, forgiveness, and healing if you decide to rehome your dog.

should I give my dog awayOne of my regrets about giving my dog away is not learning more about dogs from books such as Inside of a Dog: What Dogs See, Smell, and Know. The more you understand your dog, the better equipped you’ll be to make the seemingly impossible decision of whether you should give her away.

PS I recently wrote How to Find Peace of Mind After Putting a Dog to Sleep. I know there’s a big difference between giving your dog away and putting your dog to sleep…but the feelings of guilt and heartbreak are the same.



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xo






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432 thoughts on “How to Decide if You Should Give Your Dog Away

  • Erin

    Hi there. Today has been one of the ssdest days.for.my husband ans me. We made the desicion to get a puppy 4 months ago ans we decided on a black lab/boxer. He was so cute and loving we thought we couldnt wait to have him grow with us as a family member. He was trained easy with commands and house training vut as he got older we started to notice he hyperness when guest come over as well as never settling down with mainly my husband. He jumped and was so strong knocked over kids (not on purpose but he was so strong and excited). Classes for that kind of training was 700 bucks and up which we didnt have.. i just become a stay at home mom with a newborn and a 2 year old. We weighed out cons and pros and with a newbirn we become worries that his hyperness would be a worrysome when the baby started to do tummy time and crawling etc….we made the desicion to find a home for the pup. But with his hyperness ans no ine eanting to take in we had no option but a shelter. I was planning on keeping him until we found a home but my stress lecels eas so high from him never calming down and his chewing on all and everything even with toys around i felt i had to do it now before it got worse or my baby did…of course i asled friends and family opinions. I got some saying its life ling commitment some said i told u not to get the puppy having a newborn on the eay and others were supportice but in the end its my home my opinion that mattered. So i took him to shelter today. It was so depressing and sad i have been crying since drop off ans doing ir now writing this. But i followed my heart and head and i know its sad them sitting in a cage until a new adopter comes along but he was not getting the attetion and training he needed and should have. He deserves the time and devotion we could just not do….i know this gulit we follow me.forever or until i know he went somewhere good but i cant help the fact that i feel like a am a horrible person and i know i am not. I just thought i knew about the breed and clearly i didnt(but he is over hyper then most lab pups i have seen). I thought i could habdle 2 kids and a pup but i couldnt do it all and the dog needs more then what we could do. In thw end people can and will say what they want but are not in my shoes to know how i feel or why i made that descion. This article has calmed me down alot and i will pass this on to anyone who has the same struggle as me or any situation like that

    • Deb

      Classes are more like $120 at Petsmart. Not $700. And I agree, you should not have gotten a puppy as a pregnant woman. I don’t know why so many families do this.

  • Lily

    I have a sort of similar situation. My boyfriend and I have recently moved in together. He has a German Shepherd who is just over a year old. We met shortly after he got her, so I’ve been a part of this dogs life pretty much from the beginning. Now that we are living together, I see how our schedules are and it really bothers me how much time our dog is alone. I work almost 12-13 hours a day while my boyfriend is gone for about 8-10. Our German Shepherd is home in her crate all that time until my boyfriend comes home. He lets her out and they go for a walk or run, but then by about 8-9 pm she goes back into her crate for the night. She is well taken care of, and is by no mean being neglected, but I feel that this isn’t how a German Shepherd should be raised. They should have a purpose and are such smart and beautiful dogs, I do not think that it is fair for her to be kept alone in the house for such long hours. My boyfriend doesn’t think that its a problem, he thinks of her as his child. I love her dearly too, and this is why I feel that she deserves so much better. I feel that we are at a crossroads about this.

  • Emily

    I think something more important is doing your research BEFORE taking a dog home. I am not judging someone, but feel that many don’t know or aren’t aware that dogs can be a lot of work! I think the excitement of bringing a pet home can sometimes block someone from thinking clearly. You don’t shop around until you find the right dog. Do your research, make sure that is what you want and can handle for the duration of the pets life- and be able to accept there may be some hard times with your pet. And if you don’t know what you want, get help from an animal expert at the shelter or adoption agency, thy are great at matching animals!
    Of course, there are special circumstances where you can’t keep a pet. But the majority of the time, it is a spontaneous, not thought out decision. Personally, you should feel guilty for what happened. Does this make you a terrible person- No- but hopefully you learned something so you can make better decisions in the future when choosing a pet. I have had a lot of dogs- some easier than others to care for- times I too felt like giving up- but they were mine, so I stuck it out.
    Now, I have learned what type of dog I like, and know what to look for- I know I don’t want a big lab- so I would never purchase or adopt one. It’s not fair to them- it is hard on them. I hope this doesn’t sound like an angry post. I truly think people don’t understand – I have worked with animals for many years in various areas including the animal shelter. It’s very sad. And I think education is a big part of it. If you have the means to care for your pet/ aren’t having a family crisis/ allergies/ or major behavioral problems (aggresssive/ biter or extreme behavior) The fact is you can make it work. And if you feel it is truly better for your pet to be in a different style home- it is your responsibility to find one for he or she- not the shelter.
    And I believe the various opinions on the subject come down to the fact that people have diff degrees of how they feel about animals and whether or not they deserve things- “it’s just a dog/ he or she doesn’t really care or get sad” Folks truly feel this way you can’t change it – so no need in getting mad- I just try to help as I can.

  • Anita

    I’m struggling to accept what may be the best solution which is to rehome my beloved 11 months old dog. I am currently 8 months old pregnant and unfortunately, cannot contribute to looking after him as he is so physically strong and also very much need attention and stimulation. So this leaves my husband being the sole carer, yet, he is having a lot of difficulty to find time to train him and also getting very stressed out with neighbour complaints of his barking. I happened to fall pregnant around 3 months after getting him so from then on, haven’t been able to train him up properly. The same goes for my husband with having to juggle between work, looking after me, and having to train up a highly active and very dependent puppy that requires 300% mental and physical stimulation. After many times of sending him off to training schools and even getting other dog behavioral tools such as front clip harness and citronella spray for anti bark collar, my husband announced we will need to find him a new home since he cannot find the time to meet his demands and also with a baby coming very soon, both himself and I cannot physically look after him. I am very conflicted and feel so upset about it.

  • Amy

    I cannot fully express how thankful I am to have found this blog. We just surrendered our 3 month old Maremma sheepdog pup after falling completely in love with her. A similar situation to your Jazz, I simply couldn’t keep up with her energy levels and she was becoming bored and restless. Ultimately we decides that she should be where she would be able to thrive as a livestock guardian dog and not as a companion. It was the most heartbreaking moment of my life. I did not expect to be so severely impacted as my days consisted of keeping her from playing/biting my toddler. Alas, I haven’t stopped crying despite understanding that it was the best decision for her. It’s nice to have others who understand how difficult this decision was to make. Thank you.

  • Sue Reed

    Today we decided to re-home our 9 month old Queensland heeler. Our trainer suggested it after we were lax in crate training (I think ). The breed is highly active and we just don’t “have a job for her” since we don’t have horses anymore. Our very reliable trainer has offered to re-home her. So we are going to take her the training center right now. I’m crying.

    • Deb

      I can’t pretend to know how hard this is for you or your situation exactly. But I will say this: I do believe that if you found a better trainer and gave her a good run for 1-3 hours a day (like fetch, running by you, etc) and also gave her a job (such as following you everywhere) you’d be okay. But again, I can’t know what you are going through.

  • Debra Lemons

    I’m so thankful that I found your blog, I’ve been searching my heart for a year trying to decide if I should rehome Xena but just couldn’t commit to doing so, I felt like a failure at what other people seem to find so easy to do, but your comments about your dog being restless and needy and yourself feeling drained by the constant worry about her being bored (paraphrasing) is what I needed to realize that my dog who I love so much would be better off with a different kind of family. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

  • CGM

    Thankyou for your helpful advice, which made this difficult decision so much more manageable. We had a wonderful 4 yr old Standard Poodle, then got another a yr later when our lab died, sob. Last yr my husband retired, we had the dogs certified for therapy dog and planned to travel with them etc. Ned the older, did not do well, he growled at my husband, and made us uneasy with our young grandchildren. He is not an aggressive dog, but high strung, often bothered by his “little brother” who was lighthearted and playful. We couldnt imagine having the level of stress that became evident in this past yr with him so nervous, barking and having to lock them in the porch when the kids/guests came over. We never did the therapy work bc we didnt have complete trust in him. We decided in Aug to rehome him, but things fell apart at the last minute with the Poodle rescue group and we felt God was telling us not to do this. Then it reared its head again and we decided to talk with our breeder, vet, groomer, and wonderful dog behaviorist/author, Carol Benjamin (google her, she is awesome). SO we began again, and like you said, did not discuss with family, but prayed and watched how things went with Ned in our home. Then one night he vomited and when we went to help him, he bit my husband and challenged him. (It is a real thing called vomiting-induced aggression) It was clear. Ned wasnt balanced and secure in our setting, altho we were always patient and gentle with him, giving him lots of exercise and routine. This time we went with a different branch of the Poodle Resce group. It was amazing the conversations we had with the intake person, how our philosophies aligned and how reassuring whe was that she could help us find Ned a new home- one with owners who would be home alot like us, not board him, make sure his sensitive needs were met, and basically make sure a new home would be even better. I was able to not blame myself, nor my wonderful dog that for whatever reason, he no longer could relax and feel peace in his home with us. Dogs can change, homes can change, and if we had not had the courage – and your encouragement- to do what he needed us to do while he was still a young dog, he may have bitten our grandchild, or deteriorated whereby a new wonderful home would have been a remote possiblity. Dogs are not humans and it is unfair to assign our attributes to them. They are resilient, yet we cannot overestimate the care we need to take to make sure that this lifelong responsibility we make in adopting them be a baton we hand so carefullly when rehoming them. Thank God for the dedicated people at the Poodle Club of America, Rescue division, for helping us, and Ned to live a life he deserves. The immediate reduction of stress is palpable, and now we can continue to train our one dog to minister to others as a therapy dog. Pray for the decisions we need to make with our pets, answers do come, and thankyou for being the beginning of that answer. Surely we shed lots of tears, but knowing all is well helps. All the best for the Holiday Season, and 2018. God bless you
    [Dog Rescue groups are so helpful, and are not all alike so do your homework, dog friends. ]

  • Sarah

    Hi Laurie,

    I am really struggling with my feelings about whether we should look for a better home for our 5/6 yr old rescue. We adopted her from the RSPCA (UK) in April, she was a very nervous but bouncy standard poodle, just what we wanted to go with our other poodle cross boy who had just turned 2.
    The first month was fairly good, she was quite timid on walks and shy, she wouldn’t let you get too close and wasn’t interested in treats or toys.
    However, we soon realised that she was very lead reactive towards other dogs. Not aggressive as when we’d let her off she’d be pretty bored with them. But on the lead she would bark, spin, lunge and just be terribly frustrated.
    We have spent alot of money on a trainer but that hasn’t really helped, though it has taught us a couple of exercises we can do at home, but this goes out of the window if she sees another dog on a walk.
    She counter surfs and we have had to be so careful what we leave around. She still has the odd accident in the house, especially if it’s raining out and she won’t go. She won’t let a groomer groom her which meant i had to pay out for clippers (not cheap) but even then she’s not keen on letting me do it and she hates the hair dryer!
    Our neighbours have 4 Finnish Laphunds which are really yappy. Fortunately we’ve worked out a system to get ours back in the house when they let theirs out because they end up barking at each other through the fence. But this means we can’t even talk to our neighbours like we used to. She’s also not keen on men so barks when either male on both sides come out to do gardening.
    We can now longer go to parks or anywhere there are people with dogs, which has limited our social life (We’re only in our 30s!).
    The hardest thing is in the house and in our garden, she is so sweet and quiet, she loves our other dog although we now think she is getting separation anxiety if he’s not there. She is good in the car and is the sweetest thing when she sleeps next to you on the sofa and snores.
    Either way we are definitely going to enjoy our Christmas together as a family and we will have to really think what is best for all of us in the new year…..very tough decision 🙁

  • Laura

    Feeling broken hearted because my fiancé and I are considering rehoming one of our three dogs. We have 2 males and a female all about 18 months old. Over the last several months one of the males has started picking on the other male. When this happens the female jumps in and it turns into a full on dog fight. Things have escalated over the last month and in the most recent instance the aggressor male minorly injured both other dog. We are heart broken but coming to the realization that this may not be the home for these three dogs together. If we decide to regime we want to make sure he goes to a loving home. He is an awesome dog but we are thinking that he needs to be in an adults only, no other animals home where he can get lots of one on one attention.
    While my mind knows this my heart is broken and I’ve been sobbing and sobbing at the thought of letting him go.

  • Maria

    Dear Laurie
    Thanks for your article.
    A few months ago I found my beautiful white shepherd boy in someone’s backyard. He was starved, wild and anxious. I couldn’t leave him there even though I was not sure if I was ready to take another dog. We spent a lot of money to get him to be calm enough to finally meet my girl, also a white shepherd. He has remained anxious, high energy and I have spent more money on trainers to get him socialised. However, he remains leash and dog reactive, walks are a nightmare. I am emotionally drained and feel like my whole life has revolved around him the last few months. He needs constant exercise, attention and stimulation, something I am not always able to provide. He does not allow anyone in the house and barks constantly including at my mom. He however has a heart of gold a sweet nature and a good friend for my girl, which makes this decision so difficult. I have had to admit that I am not equipped to correct the mistakes that the people who neglected him for the first nine months of his life made. I live in a house with a small yard and I know he will be happier with space. I am lucky that I have someone I know who will take him, but regardless of his behaviour he crept into my heart and it will take a while to get over the loss and guilt, but I know I did my best. And I know his sister feels the same.
    Last year I rescued a pit bull cross and she was rehomed to a good home after I also agonised for weeks if I should keep her. However, when she turned about a year, she turned on her new owner and severely injured her. She has been rehomed again and I don’t know how she is doing now. Sometimes, sadly things between a dog and an owner does not work out, and it is probably one of the most difficult things I have had to accept.

  • Kyrie

    This was the perfect article for me at this point in my life. I have a Golden Retriever who has been a very big part of my life for 6 years now, but new circumstances have arisen which prove that maybe it is time for him to be relocated to a new home where he will be happy to live out the rest of his adult life. I had a job that was flexible and was wonderful for me to spend large portions of my day at home, playing with him or being able to spend time with him. But I am working more and I have to travel a lot more, where I am spending up to 12+ hours away from home, and I either have to lock him in the house or lock him outside. But if lock him outside he escapes by digging and as he has gotten older I will find he comes limping home and it will take him days to recover, where he can’t walk properly and the vet has told me that he is straining the muscles in hips and back legs and I afraid that he might become permanent.I feel so guilty even thinking of giving him away as it was my responsibility to love and care for him for his whole life, but with the way things are going I feel that I won’t be able to give him what he requires of me anymore. I have a big backyard, but in the last 4 months he has been on 6 walks and I have only managed to play with him twice and most of the time I am out the door by 7am and am not home by late at night, where I usually just fall asleep in bed. I hate myself for this but I feel its not only best for me, but also the best for him. I can’t stand the thought of coming home one day to find him hit by a car, or attacked by something (as I have bush land around my house)

    • Merlyn

      What about putting your dog in Doggie Day care and other options include dog walkers picking up your dog and other peoples dogs for a doggie day out including walks and play time with other dogs.

  • Esther

    I really needed this article. My fiance and I adopted a small breed dog and fell in love, but I’ve always had large dogs so we decided to get a Golden Retriever puppy since they’re so renowned for their wonderful temperaments and my fiance is nervous about having a large dog. Well, she’s 9 month’s old now and she has us at our wits end. She plays too rough with the small dog, though she isn’t doing it in a mean spirited way. She needs so much affection and gets jealous of any attention is given to the other dog. Everyone keeps saying that she’ll be a perfect dog around 2 years old but I don’t know that we can wait that long. It doesn’t seem fair to our other dog who we had first. She’d be a great dog if we had another big dog or she was our only dog. We have just started talking about rehoming her, but I’m so afraid of everyone judging us that I’ve only talked to a few people. I just want to find her a family who can give her endless affection and the attention she wants.

  • Brianna Laboy

    Hello, I have a very sweet dog and I truly love her to death. But I think I should re-home he do to her quality of life. She is usually crated when I am at work and that can be a long time. She used to be around teens and other dogs but seems to be depressed. Our apartment is small. She is a lab pitbull mix and weighs 54lbs. Our apartment is 620 sq ft. She only stays in the living room so she doesn’t have a lot of space . I am also very allergic to her since she sheds so much. I feel horrible if I give her up. I feel ashamed. Am I doing the right thing by giving her up?

  • deb

    I am devastated.
    I purchased a cattle dog puppy. He is such a wonderful, emotional little man. He is very headstrong and his will is huge. I can’t take it any longer. But now, after a month and a week, I can’t imagine letting go of my baby. I can get all the trainers in the world, but I still don’t want the role of having to be firm and “dominant” (not in a mean way). All I wanted was a friend to hike and go to the park with and go to the office with. Not a HUGE scary project. I hate myself right now. Everyone told me to get an adult. I wanted a “baby to raise.” The worst part is is if I give him away, I will always worry if he is okay. He is very emotional and very sensitive if that makes sense.

  • Jo Ann Lambroia

    Hello, My name is Jo Ann. I have a 3 month old puppy that I entrusted someone to look after for awhile. I’m under a lot of stress fixing my home. He took her this past Thursday. I packed all her stuff that she would need. Friday I had separation anxiety not having her here. I called him up and he was disappointed that I wanted her back. I didn’t give him the dog as a gift, did not relinquish her. He did not sign an adoption paper, no money exchange. His girlfriend got involved and told me that she is in a good home now that I will never see or get her back. I will be going to file a case in court tomorrow. They only had her 27 1/2 hours when I called him to give her back to me. Will I get her back? Friend told me if I called the next day to get her back is now kidnapping my dog. Is my friend right? I appreciate your comments back to me. Thank you.

  • bobbi gren

    I was under so much emotional stress, I didn’t even know what surrender meant. I have not been able to get over this and its been a few weeks. 2 days after I asked boxer Rescue to give me my dog back i found a yard it was all about I thought my pup needed a yard. I also defisateved that this was done intentionally by someone who wanted my dog, I gave them the dog and ask again for him back. After that she told me to call Joni from Boxer rescue, and she immediately took my dog- sir Huntley. As I did not know that you can’t get the dog back she told me he was adopted out, ask where he was, said she couldn’t tell me- will low and behold I went to this older couples house and there he was- I feel it was premeditated what the boxer lady did. I was blind sided, plus I was never told or once you surrender or even understood what it meant- I have ask numerous times for him back, and told them if they don’t surrender him back I will take him to court. Im sicken and my boy was so spoiled , loved, daily walks, slept in bed with me and always went on errands in car. Boxers rescue has over 80+ dogs and without a doubt I do believe they pulled a fast one on me. They been after Huntley since January, why can’t they go get their own dog, this is so wrong to do to me and Huntley. Yes I do blame myself as she was willing to re arrange her schedule and meet me that day, so I couldn’t change my mind. I went through he lost of both my parents, then my previous boxer and got another puppy for myself on Valentine’s day- i was deceived . all i do is cry all day and can’t motivate myself – all I want is my boy home with me, he is the love of my life. I sometime don’t think before I do things and this was definitely not thinking normal. I have written an email to them I had it, they will not get back to me. I am normal, divorced, 57 and Im completely lost without Huntley and are daily routine . What can I do- I won’t get over this- Im too sensitive and really, how could someone else keep someone else property especially they all knew how well I took care of him, would be different story if I knew in my heart that he would be better off, he won’t – Im deviated and all I want back is my 20 month boy. How stupid of me. If these people would have any compassion or kind heart they would give him- let then get their own dog. Shame on boxer Rescue for doing this and shame on them for not giving him back they are being selfish and not thinking of my pup.

  • Tgilfy

    Glad I came across this. I’m having such a struggle with my xl dog. He is having diarreah in our home (on the floors and carpet) and I have a 9 year old and an 11 month old. This has been going on for years and I always put up with it. The vet says nothing is wrong. But now I’m at my wits end. My baby is crawling everywhere and I’m panicking about him getting ill. I want to rehome the dog, but my husband won’t have it. Any advice on what to do? It’s actually having an affect on our marriage.

  • Jo

    Hi there

    I am currently having an inner battle with what to do about my dog. I have always thought my dog wouldn’t be a good fit if I had kids and there are other things I have thought about in recent time such as, not having anyone to watch or care for him when I am not available -which has meant no travel for almost 10 years and having struggles with visiting family far from my home etc. I have 2 jobs for the first time, in order to keep up with bills and be able to stay in a home that I absolutely love and couldn’t imagine moving away from. I just don’t have the time/lifestyle that I feel is fair for my dog. I also have been with my current boyfriend for over a year and we are discussing moving together, he did not want to ever have another dog and we stayed dating because the connection was so natural and real -such a great friendship and strong love for each other. Now that we are talking more seriously about living together -and I so very much want to move forward with him and with my life- I am realizing it’s time to seriously think about things. Family is not an option and a very slim chance I have one friend who may consider him. I called the local humane society (with a no kill policy) only way I would every even possibly consider it–and I started crying on the phone. I feel so awful and I feel stuck.