Moving on after splitting up with someone you love is especially difficult when you don’t have relationship closure. These six tips for finding freedom after heartbreak will help you move on after a relationship breakup — especially if you’re not ready to let your ex go.
“Sometimes the partner ending the relationship doesn’t quite know themselves why they are ending it – it’s more of a feeling or intuitive urge,” says transformational coach and author Gini Grey. “Because I work from an energetic and spiritual perspective with clients, I’ve seen relationships end that made no sense to the client I was working with.”
Below, Grey describes how to let go of someone you love when you don’t have relationship closure from a spiritual/intuitive perspective. And, I added tips from a practical, psychological viewpoint. If you’re struggling with the breakup, read How to Be Strong About Not Getting Back Together.
Change how you think about your ex and the breakup
Grey explains the importance of turning inward when you don’t understand why your partner doesn’t love you anymore. Look at your relationship and ex from a more energetic/spiritual/intuitive place, and begin to see the ‘why’s. “People may not even be able to explain it intellectually but they get it on a deeper level and find peace as a result,” she says, suggesting that heartbroken people take time in a “meditative state” and look at the relationship as though it is outside of themselves.
Notice what messages come when you ask these questions:
- Why were we together? (purpose of relationship – to grow, learn, love, heal a pattern etc.)
- Why has the relationship ended? (look from both perspectives as sometimes a partner leaves because the other has outgrown them spiritually)
- What is the benefit of us splitting up? (there is usually a benefit to anything ending, even though it feels painful going through the grieving at first)
- What is my next best step? (you might get an image of something, a sensation or just a knowing what to do next)
“The important thing is to stay out of the intellect trying to analyze things as that only blocks the higher truth,” says Grey. “Looking at it from a centered, grounded place can be very illuminating.”
If you struggle to control your thoughts, read How to Stop Thinking About Someone.
Shift your focus from loss to new beginnings
This is difficult to do when you’re trying to let go of someone you love and you don’t have closure, but it’s very healthy! Instead of ruminating on your loss and the way things were, start planning your new life. What have you always wanted to do? What interests have you allowed to slide, that you can now focus on? Start thinking about your life goals – and remember that there is life after splitting up with your partner!
The rest of this article has been moved to my new site, “Quips and Tips for Love Relationships.”
Please go to 6 Steps to Healing From a Bad Breakup to continue your quest for healing.
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Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back offers hope, encouragement, and strength for women walking through loss. My Blossom Tips are fresh and practical - they stem from my own experiences with a schizophrenic mother, foster homes, a devastating family estrangement, and infertility.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets (and Practical Tips!) for Healing Your Heart is filled with comforting and healthy breakup advice. The Blossom Tips will help you loosen unhealthy attachments to the past, seal your heart with peace, and move forward with joy.
When You Miss Him Like Crazy: 25 Lessons to Move You From Broken to Blossoming After a Breakup will help you refocus your life, re-create yourself, and start living fully again! Your spirit will rise and you'll blossom into who you were created to be.