Is Your Wife Having an Affair? Signs of Cheating

Many husbands ask “is my wife having an affair?” These signs of cheating include an infidelity quiz, to help you determine if your wife is having a relationship with another man.

Is My Wife Having an Affair Signs of Cheating

Is My Wife Having an Affair? Signs of Cheating

Read Surviving an Affair by Willard F. Jr. Harley and Jennifer Harley Chalmers. describe the most common types of affairs, the reasons they begin and end, the best way to end them, and the best way to restore a marriage after an affair. But most importantly, they’ll help you survive the ordeal of finding out your wife is cheating by providing you with step-by-step guidance that minimizes suffering and offers hope for rebuilding a loving and trusting marital relationship.

Learning how to rebuild trust after an affair is hard work. When Yoko Ono said “marriage is a gamble,” she wasn’t kidding. You can marry someone you think is perfectly suited to you…but people change. I bet you never thought you’d be asking if your wife is having an affair, or looking for signs of cheating. But, for better or worse, nothing stays the same. Not your marriage, not your wife, and not even you.







Is Your Wife Having an Affair?

I can’t tell you if your wife is having an affair, but I can share these signs of cheating. I found them from a variety of places: newspapers, magazines, blogs, and my own experience. I hope you find this helpful. It probably won’t answer all your questions – nor will it give you a definitive answer about whether your wife is having a relationship with another man, but it might at the very least show you that you’re not alone.

Emotional distance

Probably the biggest sign of cheating is emotional coldness, distance, and isolation. Women generally like to connect and talk to their partners. If your wife is distant emotionally, then she probably doesn’t feel connected to you. And if she doesn’t feel connected to you – her husband – then she may be filling her relationship needs with another man.

Secretive, unusual or unexplained behavior

This sign of an affair is to help wives know if their husbands are cheating, but it could equally apply to men who think their wives are having an affair:

“Anything that can be characterized as secretive, unusual or unexplained—or any behavior that has suddenly and inexplicably changed—could signify that he’s hiding something. “If your partner becomes elusive about his whereabouts, something’s probably going on,” says Tony DeLorenzo, owner of All State Investigations and coauthor of Warning Signs: How to Know If Your Partner Is Cheating—and What To Do About It. Other indicators that something’s amiss? “The computer screen changing when you walk into the room, hushed telephone conversations or calls taken outside, strange body language when in the company of the new gal at work, reluctance to take you places with him and his friends, and general unexplained behavior that feels suspicious, are all clues that your partner is straying.” – from Signs Your Husband Is Having An Affair.



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Lack of physical intimacy

This could be a sign your wife is having an affair. But, sometimes women don’t feel like being physically intimate for a wide variety of reasons: hormones, self-esteem, work stress, family responsibilities, depression, menopause, emotional disconnection, etc. I wouldn’t list lack of sex as the number one sign of cheating – but it really depends on your marriage.

Your reason for asking, “is my wife having an affair?”

Perhaps one of the most telling signs of cheating is your own gut instincts. Why are you asking if your wife is having an affair? You may be picking up on signs, clues, and hints in her behavior, words, and actions. It’s possible that you already know if she’s cheating on you with another man…but you don’t want to admit it.

An obsessive need for privacy

This sign of cheating is from Anne Bercht, author of My Husband’s Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me:

Is Your Wife Having an Affair Signs of Cheating“Another sign of infidelity was an obsessive need for ‘private ness’ and staying up late at night to work on the computer. When confronted with his excessive late night hours in front of the monitor, one cheater responded “it’s none of your business. I’m entitled to my privacy.” This is a typical response of an unfaithful spouse. Unfortunately the internet has opened up a whole new way to infidelity. When your spouse suddenly needs a private email or bank account (which they become highly defensive about maintaining) there is a good chance that they are hiding something, and that something is probably marital infidelity. Hiding credit card statements and phone bills are also among the signs of infidelity.” – from Top 10 Signs of Infidelity.

Quick Infidelity Quiz

If your wife does several or all of these behaviors, your marriage may be in danger of an affair:

  • Avoids eye contact with you.
  • Talks continually about the unknowns of the future.
  • Shows an increased disinterest in the topic of sex.
  • Makes excuses for not spending time alone with you.
  • Acts unusually guilty when you do something nice for him/her.
  • Quits complimenting you on your physical attractiveness.
  • Stops saying, “I love you” and even acts rudely to you.
  • Starts buying you gifts to ease his or her guilt.

This infidelity quiz is from Warning Signs of an Affair.

Now you tell me: is your wife having an affair? It’s important to remember that none of these signs of cheating is surefire evidence your wife is involved with another man. What’s the best way to know for sure? If you ask your wife if she’s having an affair, she denies it, and you think she’s lying to you…perhaps you should look for a marriage counsellor or a private investigator. Or both.

If you’re still wondering if your wife is having an affair, read Is Your Husband Cheating? 5 Signs He’s Having an Affair.

I welcome your thoughts on if your wife is having an affair. I can’t offer advice, but it may help you to share your experience.






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2 Responses

  1. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Linda. I agree – these aren’t necessarily signs a wife is having an affair. They’re also signs of a disconnected marriage.

    May you find happiness, peace and joy in your relationship with your husband.

  2. linda says:

    These signs you list are signs of a disconnected relationship not cheating. My husband is grumpy, depressed, with a history of verbal and emotional abuse. After being emotional and hurt for years I cried my last tear as a victim. But hanging with someone who constantly complains and has no sense of fun is not conducive to being “in the mood”. If I don’t get satisfaction a half hour post mortem follows and evolves into accusing me of cheating. Which I never have – never even talked to a man. So next time Im less inclined. And if im honest about why im not in the mood that also devolves into how terrible I am. For many women like me the LAST thing we want is ANOTHER man!

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