How to Stop Loving a Man Who Lies, Cheats, and Steals

These tips will help you break free from loving a man who lies to you, cheats on you, and steals your money. You’d think it’d be easy to hate a man who broke your heart, but it’s not.

How to Stop Loving a Man Who Lies, Cheats, and StealsIf your self-esteem is lower than it’s ever been, read Healing Your Emotional Self: A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame at least twice. Study it.

And, it may help you to now you’re not alone. “I’ve known this man for many years,” says L. on Stop Obsessive Thoughts About Your Ex. “All he does is lie to me and treat me as a booty call. But I love him so much. He is now seeing some new chick. My self-esteem is shot. I hate myself. What can I do to get us back together?”

I don’t think you can force yourself to stop loving anyone, but you can learn how to live a happy, fulfilled, strong life without him. It won’t be easy – it’ll take time and effort – but you CAN move on and re-create your life! Starting now.

How to Stop Loving a Man Who Lies, Cheats, and Steals

And, you need to put these tips on how to stop loving a man who lies, cheats, and steals from you into action…

Listen to your friends and family

If you’re honest with your loved ones about how he treats you, then I know they’re telling you to dump him, move on, find someone who will love and cherish you. Listen to them, my friend. This is one time that you have to put your own thoughts and feelings aside, and go with the crowd’s opinion. I would never tell someone I love to stay with a man who treats her like garbage. And, I would tell her to stop taking his lies, infidelities, and thefts — men do this because women let them.

Stop focusing on him, him, him !

L’s self-esteem is low because she’s basing her self-worth and value on this jerk’s behavior. She’s letting him treat her like crap, and she believes that she deserves to be treated like crap. So she feels even crappier about her life and herself…and she’s stuck in a terrible downward spiral. How does she stop loving this man who lies and cheats? First, by learning why women stay in bad, loveless, unhealthy relationships. Second, by pulling herself together, which is what the rest of these tips are about…

Get a life

You have to stop centering your life around this man. I know how hard it is – that’s why I wrote 75 Ways to Let Go of Someone You Love! But, your life, your days, your experiences are worth so much more than any man – even a good one. You can’t base your existence and self-esteem on anyone. You need to build a strong, happy, healthy life outside of your “love” relationship.

Surround yourself with strong, smart, successful women

How to Stop Loving a Man Who Lies, Cheats, and Steals

How to Stop Loving a Man Who Lies, Cheats, and Steals

Who are you chillin’ with these days? Are they women who are setting goals, achieving goals, and setting better, more exiting goals? Find women who are emotionally and physically strong, happy, balanced, and successful at work and home. You can stop loving this man who lies to you, cheats on you, and steals from you…but you can’t do it alone.

Get emotionally and physically healthy

The healthier you are, the less likely you’ll be drawn to men who lie, cheat, and steal. Your emotional and physical health is united — that’s your mind-body connection in action. Get emotionally healthy by reading books like the one I featured above, or 10 Simple Solutions for Building Self-Esteem: How to End Self-Doubt, Gain Confidence & Create a Positive Self-Image. Get physically healthy by doing yoga and Pilates, or taking a spinning or kickboxing class.

You need to re-create yourself as a woman, my friend. You need to become strong, happy, and successful — and dump the jerks who treat you like dirt.

If you aren’t sure if your man is lying, read How to Catch a Liar.

What advice would you give women who can’t stop loving men who lie, cheat, and steal? I welcome your thoughts below, but I can’t offer advice or counseling. Share your experience, and allow the very act of writing to help you figure out where to take your relationship.


31 Responses

  1. Layla says:

    I met a guy 12 years younger than me. He had nothing but that did not matter. He was helpful and was there for me. He didn’t have anything n stayed in a shaq. Before we got intimite we got tested n he was positive. I didn’t know what to do n he asked me to tell his mom who is also positive. I started seeing someone n I broke up with him. He threatened to commit suicide so I stayed with him. But I cheated again with the same person. I was scared he would kill himself n also cause of his status. When I stopped seeing the guy I cheated with, I found out he had cheated on me. Used my airtime n my phones to communicate with this other girl. There were several times when the condom broke n I had to take Arvs twice. He has told me he luved me. Spoke to my mom to be given a chance cause he luvs me. It has been 4 years of him lying about being in contact with the other girl. They have gone out. Even as we speak they are obviously communicating. I have blocked him n stopped contact n he will come to my house or speak to someone close to me for help. I have fought with him verbally n physically. I have asked him to leave me alone if he can not leave the other girl alone. He asked for help, money, food n I always did. Now he stays in a better place with friends. They influence him. They go out with this chick n her friends. He disrespects me. They treat me like shit n this girl has known about me all along. She is young n beautiful. N I am jealous as his friends r also friends of hers now. But I am the one who has helped them. They have seen my worse side figthing with him. He lies to me all the time. N when I shut him out he starts again. I am so hurt as I told him the truth when I cheated n I told him he should rather be with this other girl. He has punished me n used me for 4 years. N always defends the other girl but does not want to leave me alone. I did wrong. I was scared n he wanted to kill himself n stayed. Now I regret staying with him. He shows of drives around. The girl doesn’t stay far from where I live. I sometimes c her. N she also disrespects me. Please help. I have gone for therapy but stopped, n the fact that while I was taking arvs because of him in 2 instances, he was having a good time with her. 4 years of my life. I feel like I have lost soooo much time, money, my health. He abuses me mentally..physically n emotionally. I even helped n still helped his family.

  2. Lauren says:

    My child’s father and I split up cause I could t take anymore of his lies and cheating always I was wrong making it up I’m screwed in the head etc I moved towns then recently moved back with him saying how much he loves me wants to make it right etc then I find out he’s living with some girl who can’t live without him where he tells me they’re not together and he sleeps in shed though I know he lying he asked me for money to get his ute and stuff out of her place but never did then won’t answer phone or give money back how can someone lie and use and hurt people so much it’s crazy it’s been 8 years and I’m still stuck in his wen of lies I hate myself cry everyday and no one wants me

    • TiredOfIt says:

      Hi Lauren my situation is similar. There was a lot of abuse, mostly verbal and emotional. I am relying on him right now to get me to my dad’s house. All the same garbage from a man who lies, cheats and steals. Why claim to want mw and that you’re not involved with anyone when I can clearly see you text some woman right in front of me. The lies what bother me the most.

  3. Carrie says:

    I found out 6 months ago my husband of 13yr has been sleeping with different women from hookup sites. However the last 2yr he started a serious relationship with a women whom is now pregnant with twins because of fertility my husband paid $20,000 for when he won’t even give me $20 to get something for myself. We have 2 son’s and always wanted 1 more child (a little girl) be we decided to have my tubes tied because he didn’t want anymore children, I don’t understand. He started her marketing business for her and they also have a joint account, stocks and of course nothing is in his name even purchass things on a prepaid credit card. Another thing that really hurts I’ve been wanting an Anniversary ring which he refuses to buy every time I ask but yet proposed to her with a 2ct diamond WHY, he denys everything saying I’m crazy and need help for believing it. This women builds her own software and showed him how to communicate through the computer, tablet and phone which he has a private 2nd line on his cell phone. I’m trying to get a job now at the moment so I don’t even have to ask for gas money, we never had a joint account therfore I have no access to any funds which sucks when I have seen messeges asking her if she needed any money. So I’m now emotionally and physically drained not being able to get anything done. I love him and hate him but couldn’t imagine my life without him. I really need help, advice, some kind of direction.

  4. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:


    Do you respect your boyfriend, and do you respect yourself for being in a relationship with him? Maybe that’s the bottom line in your relationship. If you respected him as a man, then you wouldn’t be searching for tips on how to stop loving him.

    Would you encourage your sister, daughter, or best friend to stay in this relationship?

    If you wish he would change, then I’m sorry to say you’ll be disappointed.

  5. dee says:

    My bf is so childish,he listens to people,he lies,he cheats and spanks women’s butts every chance he gets alone,he loves me and doesn’t hang with friends because he doesn’t want me to hang with my friends, his family controls him, esp his sister,she advises him to come back home each time we have a fight,I want to leave him but he’s a great man,he takes care of me financially,thou he hides money sometimes and it hurts! because when I worked we did things together with our money!

  6. Laurie says:

    Dear Nithya,

    Thanks for your comment, and for encouraging us to leave men who lie, cheat, and steal! It is heartbreaking — but as you said, we only have one life (that we know of).

    Better to have short-term pain and long-term gain, rather than stay stuck and unhappy in a bad relationship.


  7. Nithya says:

    I am an indian and married to a cheat, liar and thief as some of the friends here. As soon as I got to know that he is a liar, I lost my jewels, money, and a property. I struggled for one and a half years after that and somehow with the help of my lawyer took most of it back and applied for divorce. He was not ready to leave me for his financial advantages over me. I loved him so much that it was like tearing a part of me off to leave him, but i did not think too much and divorced him. Be ready to leave the narcistic abusers and live a peaceful life. It would definitely take a big risk and cost but do not forget that life is just once and live your life as your wish and not for anybody else.

    • Lynn says:

      You are one inspirational lady I admire your strength!

      • pam says:

        Very inspirational. You are very strong for doing that. I’m in a similar situation but not married. Just recently I have found out my boyfriend has lied and manipulated me into lending him a couple thousand over time which he still owes. We just broke up and I”m considering taking him to court.

  8. Laurie says:

    Dear Lori,

    I don’t know how a man can say he loves his wife, yet cheat on her. I think it depends on how he defines “love.” Some men define “love” as financially support and provide for, and save their intimate love (sex) for other women. It’s sad and even disgusting, but human beings are complicated and … disgusting sometimes!

    I wrote this article for you:

    How to Help a Friend Cope With an Unhappy Marriage

    I hope it helps, and welcome your thoughts. You’re a good friend, and I’m glad your friend has people like you in her life!


  9. Refused to accept says:

    I was with my boyfriend for two years. He lied and cheated the entire time. I refused to believe this. He had the best excuses and said he loved me every day. He would go shopping for girls on plenty of fish and friend them on Facebook. I was not allowed to be his friend on fb and he waived this away saying he spent all his non work time with me. Said what we had was real and fb was merely entertainment. He would text and message constantly and even ignore me to do so. I loved him so deeply I chose to believe his lies that he was not cheating. By the time the evidence was so massive my self esteem didnt exist. A friend paid me a compliment and i nearly burst into tears. i am an educated above average looking woman and I look far younger then my age. He treated me so badly that a tiny compliment had this profound affect. But he said he loved me… I find it very unsettling too that the other women he was with would lie and say they were only friends, so that they could remain his booty calls (and of course they laughed at me behind my back). I hated myself for wanting him and loving him and he strung me along with promises of our future. This wound is so fresh and hurts so bad and this website especially and reading people’s stories has greatly helped me. It was also enlightening to find that many of these bad partners we obsess over or who lie and cheat have narcissistic personality disorder. Mine did and pitty the next girl who loves him.

    • Ruth says:

      The same thing happened to me after 4 years and he is not that young. Seems he never
      grew up.
      Now I am going through withdrawal pains the same as someone in an addiction.

    • Lenora says:

      Jesus, After reading this I almost had a mind to say, “I must have wrote this my self. …………. we are literally the same person, educated, very beautiful and oh boy the stuff we choose to believe over our own common sense and our own eyes is unbelievable. I’ve been in such denial that I simply feel crazy as hell. I even started thinking I was no longer pretty trying to figure out what made all is the women on fb so special vs the one here accepting your lies and betrayl. Now that I’m finally learning to follow my brain, I’m still confused on how to move on to this 3 year old nightmare I made my entire world. Altho I cut out sex and most communication. I have the shakes and anxiety attacks everyday from missing him and
      What I viewed as “the good parts” that was more than likely not good either, just slightly better than the bad. I’m scared to death I’m going to let him back and be stuck in a cycle with a man who can NEVER respect me because of how much I let him get away with disrespecting me. I’m afraid that I may always look at this as fixable because of how much I genuinely LOVE this man from the bottom of my broken heart. I’m scared because my new found low self esteem won’t let me use common sense to escape when I’ve had more than enough proffered to run like hell. Thus is certainly not all his fought, I allowed it. I truly need to seek help

      • Lauren says:

        Omg this is exactly how I feel my self esteem is shot have no friends no one how can they be so low and lie so much to us

  10. kelly says:

    What should a man do if his women is cheating? I knew someone a good friend of mine he worked 12 hours a day to keep a roof over his head .She went to school so did their daughter.When she got home from school before she picked up her daughter she was dating a gentlemen on the side.It was when a neighbor asked if they were having work done to their house as this guy drove a construction truck.That’s when he told the neighbor to keep an watchful eye as she was retired.The lady called him then he came right home at the time this guy was coming over then he snuck into the house then caught them “getting it on” in the bedroom.He filed for divorce eventually as he knew that there would be so many complications with the courts if they were to do that.

  11. Lori says:

    Hi, How can a man say he loves someone yet cheat on her? My friend’s husband is a liar, a cheat, and a thief. They have children together and she will get angry, but take him back due to the economy excuse, still in love excuse, they have kids to raise, finanically a divorce would destroy the both of them. She thinks she would end up living in a tent and have to start her whole life from ground zero. He has no problem lying to women at work saying his “wife” my friend is a rag bag, a nasty woman. How he wishes he could leave, but stays for the kids. But, he will have no problem posting ads behind her back, lying to people at work, friends, at church, to his own family. He has destroyed multiple womens lives. He has no problem stealing money or lying to clients. He uses past abuse in his life as his excuse as to why he doesn’t give a flip or have remorse for what he does. It’s like he’s 18 and could care less and his in his late 40’s. If you are a strong, beautiful woman after dealing with him you can almost gurantee you will look dried up and disgusted with life. Any comments? How can I help her? How can I get past the pain of her continuing to tolerate the BS? Any suggetsions? Thanks!

  12. Laurie says:

    It takes time to gain the strength and courage to leave a man – even if he is a liar and cheater. You’ve invested a lot of time, energy and even money in him. This makes it difficult to break up with him.

    And you may always love him. The title of this article – “how to stop loving a man who lies, cheats and steals” – isn’t accurate. You can’t stop love or change how you feel…you can only make choices that improve your life and push you forward into a better world.

  13. Seline says:

    I want to get away from this man who constantly cheats on me,please help me!

  14. Shortguy says:

    He is married with a son 20 years ago and still not divorced as a condition to me before I agreed to have relatioship.When I realized from my girl friend about money owed to her I was upset and tried to break off. I suspect he might has a relationship with my girl friend by the look that she was drastically depressed. The break out failed as he was mean and treatened me somehow. I gave him a chance but never known 6 years ago he has a chinese girl friend with few kide age below 10 years old. He denied flat. I have been struggling emotionally and am depressed.I found out he treat me well cuz I help him financially but he denied today that he didnt owe me any cent. Nowe I am broke and down. No friend knows of this relationship as I am from a conservative family and upbringing.ALost self

  15. Mia says:

    @Silvie – I feel like it was me who wrote your comment…

  16. missb says:

    What’s crazy is all of our stories are the same. We read each other stories in think my story is different or my mans different when they all do the same thing… I think we are so in love with these men that we have sickend ourselves into believing that what they’re doing is okay because we love them. I’m starting to believe that when you love someone you love that person so much that your brain will make it to where they love you.

    • Dee says:

      I couldn’t have said this any better. It’s like the drug addiction you can’t shake, because your constantly chasing that first highs’ feeling. I’m so stuck in cycle and can’t get myself to stop. It’s going to drive me literally psychotic if I don’t quit.

  17. cinnamon says:

    this explanes my realationship i never know what to do yes we still are together but have break up 2 diffent times from the 1st time i have met him to now he has change a little so i hope that he will change a lot more but then deep down in side i know he will never fully change but every time i am away from him i miss so much i dont know why bc i know he treat me so bad i never know what to do stay or go everyone will say go i but i miss him so much

  18. Laurie says:

    If you can’t stop loving a man who lies to you, cheats on you, and steals from you or others, then you need to look at yourself. Why don’t you have more self-respect? Don’t you believe you deserve better?

  19. Fin says:

    I have this guy I love His mom all but hates me & he steal money form under my nose & lies to me & I fill like he don’t really love when he tells me he dose & he lisen & falls for braves then stays at his mom house then his wife & he says mane things to me after all I did to help him out so much, he don’ent care. Am not eating or drinking nouthing cuz I fill down can some be done all this Ben going on some time now & am sick of it.

  20. saloni salaria says:

    he treated me badly but i compromised. and now he is engaged to a girl of his parent’s choice. he talks to that girl and meets her. he says that he don’t love her but when i say bad words for her he hangs up on me. n now he is not even talking to me neither am i. what should i do?

  21. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thanks for your comment, Silvie. I wish you all the best as you refrain from contacting him.

    Stop loving men who lie, cheat, and steal!

  22. silvie says:

    I am one of these women, he didn’t steal on me though. he cheated and lied to me on various occasions, and now he left me for good. I still want him, but i am doing my best not to initiate contact.

    • Michelle Johnson says:

      I was with the father of my four kids for sixteen years, He abrused me and made fun of me and allowed his family members to disrespect me ,He always seems to put his family members before he puts his children and I,It was soooo hard for me to leave him because of the love I had for him,I felt trapped and so so unhappy even thought about taking my on life,I was so disappointed in myself as a women to allow this man to disrespect me,The only good that came out of this relationship is our four children, they are the only ones that kept me from taking my own life.Now Iam 44 years old and I finally got rid of his sorry ass,A part of me feels like life just passed me by,But now Iam FREE to live my life ,Now Iam attending school and working something he wouldn’t allow me to do,My kids and I are now HAPPY!

    • Anonymous says:

      I am married to a lying, cheating husband who is always after young girls. He spends his time on social networks lying and luring this poor innocent girls into his corner.
      Being a Christian woman this is weighing very hard on me in fact I am confused. The worst is that I am pregnant with our 2nd child. He pretends to be caring yet he treats me like shit.
      I do not have any suicidal thoughts but I would like to get him out of my life. I am struggling with the how. I do not see any future for us. He has extreme narcissistic behaviour, how do I stop loving a man who lies cheats steals?

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