How to Meet Someone When You’re Shy and Socially Awkward


How to Meet Someone When You’re Shy and Socially Awkward

Don’t let your shyness stop you from falling in love! (image by abon, flickr)

Falling in love for shy people…these tips will help you – even if you’re the most socially awkward person in the room – meet someone and fall in love.

Dating for shy singles is often intimidating because love relationships – especially new ones – often require huge amounts of energy, time, and a certain degree of social savvy.

And even before the “actual” relationship, dating requires making small talk with unfamiliar people, getting out of your comfort zone, and opening yourself up to the possibility of rejection.





Dating and relationships are challenging for everyone, but they’re especially challenging for socially awkward people. Luckily, psychology can help shy singles find love! Here are three ways for socially awkward people to cope with social anxiety, and even learn to enjoy dating and relationships.

Understand How Social Awkwardness and Shyness Affects You

Is social anxiety preventing you from being yourself or communicating honestly? Is shyness affecting your ability to relate people at work or in the community? Perhaps “shy single” isn’t the right way to look at your experience and feelings.

Social anxiety disorder goes beyond being shy. Further, anxious personality traits affect different people in different ways. An effective way to cope with social anxiety is to identify the situations that lead to panic, fear, or distress. Then, learn ways to avoid the situation and/or overcome those anxious feelings.

Remember that different people overcome social anxiety in different ways. If you have shy personality traits, for instance, you might read books about shyness and learn how to balance self-acceptance with healthy personal growth. If you struggle with feelings of extreme fear and anxiety — and your love life is negatively affected — then you might overcome social anxiety by talking to a cognitive-behavioral psychologist, therapist, or counselor.

Spend Less Time Online

If you’re interested in meeting new people, send fewer text messages and make more phone calls! Spend less time downloading music for your iPod or playing with your iPhone, and more time with friends, listening to live music or going on hikes. To find love, avoid internet chat rooms or on social websites like MySpace or Facebook. To find love, you need to practice spending time with “real” people.

Our culture encourages too much emotional and physical isolation. If you want to cope with social awkwardness and stop feeling like a shy single, you need to focus on connecting with people in meaningful ways. Learning how to interact in healthy ways requires practice – and so does saying “I love you”!

If you have trouble making conversation, read What to Talk About on the First Date – 10 Easy Conversation Starters.

Volunteer Your Skills and Experience

What better way for shy singles to socialize than to spend a few hours a week at a homeless shelter, hospital, or church with other volunteers? You’ll meet people who are doing something you enjoy, which means you already know something about them. You’ll start off on common ground, which is the foundation of a healthy, long-lasting love relationship.

Socially awkward people may struggle to find love, but that doesn’t mean love is out of the question! It just makes love all the more valuable and treasured when it’s found.




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You might be surprised and happy to learn that it doesn’t take long to fall in love!

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