How to Break Up With a Married Man and Heal Your Heart
The affair is breaking your heart, yet you can’t seem to let go. Here’s how to break up with a married man and heal your broken heart, plus encouragement from a woman who broke up with the married man she was involved with.
In Forget Mr Married: How to break free from this toxic relationship and reclaim your life, Sally Webb describes what it feels like to meet the most beautiful, perfect man for you. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a man, you belong together…but he’s married. He belongs to someone else morally and legally – even though he makes you feel like you’re “the one” for him. And yet, you know that the affair is toxic. You desperately need to reclaim your life and emotions.
If you need to change your life in a meaningful and positive way, read this book. Your heart will be set free of guilt, shame, and constant pain and heartache. You can finally be ready to strive for the real love you truly deserve. You’re struggling to break up with this married man because you feel like he’s the only woman for you. You’re sharing him with his wife and children – but you KNOW that if he leaves her and loves you, he will make you the happiest woman in the world. You won’t cry and feel used, you won’t feel hurt or have to suppress your emotions just to share his married body and mind with a wife he vowed to be forever faithful to.
Here’s what one of my readers said about breaking up with the guy she was having an affair with:
“I became involved with a married man after my divorce,” says Kay on How to End Your Toxic Love Affair Now – Before It’s Too Late. “He told me how much he loved me, and thought we were meant to be together. He said he was going to leave his wife, but he never did. I can’t believe how much time and energy I wasted on this man. The lies, deception and constant disappointment was awful. I admit I miss his company and the way he looked at me and the way he touched me. But I realize I need and deserve so much more! Looking back I realize how toxic it was to sit at home on holidays while he was with his family, and only see him when he was available. We never showed affection in public, and we could never spend time with friends as a couple.”
How to Break Up With a Married Man
A few years ago, I wrote an article called How to Stop Cheating in a Relationship. I didn’t think anyone would read it because I thought it’d be easy to not cheat! I was wrong. Recently I’ve had some very honest conversations with my friends about dating married men, and I’ve realized that affairs are more common than I realize.
But no matter how common it is to fall in love with and date a married man, it is degrading, dishonest, and disappointing. The affair will never go anywhere, and it’s not true love. True love means you can introduce the man you love to your family and friends. True love isn’t suppressed by secrets and deception. True love does not involve lying and secret meetings, lonely nights and unhappy days.
Here’s how to break up with a married man, no matter how long the affair has lasted…
Be honest with yourself
Yes, you may feel like you love this married man. You know it’s a toxic and painful affair – not a real relationship – and yet you keep hanging on. You question yourself: “What if he really is different?” “What if my married man’s excuses are actually valid?” “What if he really is on the road to end his marriage for me?”
The truth is that he won’t leave his wife for you. This married man likes having his wife at home and you on the side, and he enjoys the feeling of both you and her loving him. If you’re serious about breaking up with this married man, you need to prepare yourself to hear the answers you don’t want to hear. Get ready to leave the toxic love fantasyland you’ve been living in. It’s time to face reality.
Read the comments section of this article on breaking up with a married man
At the end of this post, you’ll find several readers who are strong enough to share what it’s like to date and break up with a man who is married. They are supporting and helping each other through this.
I encourage you to read through the comment section. See the pain having an affair causes. Learn how deep the roots of heartache and betrayal go. Be prepared to face the reality that breaking up with a married man is difficult and painful – but the best thing you could do for yourself.
Remember how you’ll feel after you heal from the breakup
After Kay experienced the freedom of breaking it off with the married man – and the grief of letting go – she encourages other women to leave an affair relationship.
“To anyone who is still involved with a married man, all I can say is end it NOW,” she says. “Yes the pain is terrible. You wonder how you can go on without him. But the sense of freedom and self-respect you’ll feel after the breakup is empowering. You’ll feel light and happy after ending the affair, and you’ll see the married man in a different light. These tips on how to break up with a married man will help you see the affair in a different light.”
Don’t keep holding on to the affair; it is toxic and destructive. You know it’s time to go, or you wouldn’t be here! Remember that breaking up with a married man will be painful and sad, but it’s better for you in the long run. You’ll need to grieve the end of the affair, but you will be healthier and happier in the long run.
When you’re dating a married man, you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak and pain. He’s not free to love you the way you deserve to be loved, and you’re participating in a dark, damaging affair that is casting shadows on your life and spirit. It’s not romantic, sexy, or charming to help a married man cheat on his wife. You know this in your heart and soul! You want to break off the affair – that’s why you’re here searching for help breaking up with men who are married.
Need marriage advice?
Are you struggling with your love life? Find Out What Men Secretly Want
Cut off all contact with the married man
Don’t accept his phone calls, text messages, Facebook popups, emails, Facetime prompts, Tweets, blog comments, or notes at work. You’re just setting yourself up to be sucked right back into the affair. Don’t let him wiggle his way back into your life – this is one of the times you can’t be friends with your ex. It may seem cruel to both you and him, but it’s the best tip on how to break up with a married man. Rip off that band-aid, and leave him alone.
Trust yourself, that you know that it’s time to end this relationship. Read How to Leave a Man You Love – But Can’t Live With – for support.
Stay true to yourself, even when he keeps contacting you
You want to end this affair because you know it’s wrong and it’s not going anywhere. You aren’t proud of dating a married man, and you know it’s destroying your spirit and soul. At some level, you know how much you’re contributing to the pain he’s causing his wife and family. Put yourself in your wife’s shoes; how would you feel if your husband was cheating on you? This may not be the most effective tip on how to stop dating a married man because your love for her husband overshadows your compassion for her.
If you want to be a truly happy person, you must life a life of integrity and respect. You must choose relationships that build you up and make you feel good about yourself.
Remember that you’re not in love with the real man
You’re in love with the bits and pieces he shows you. He’s a married man, and that may add chemistry and excitement to who you think he is. He’s not available, and that intrigues you. He’s like a Hollywood movie star: you know enough about him to give you some insight into his personality and life, but you’re not involved with the real man.
You’re not picking up his dirty clothes, putting down the toilet seat, listening to him snore all night long, wondering where he goes at night and on weekends, or fighting about the credit card charges and mortgage payments. Remember that when you’re dating a married man, you see the ideal and perfect guy. You don’t see who he really is.
Figure out what you need in your life – besides him
Why are you involved with him?
Don’t tell me it’s because there are no good guys out there, or you’ve dated everyone in your city. Don’t tell me there is nobody else, because I know it’s not true! You’re dating a married man because of something that’s going on inside of you. What is it in you that refuses to let him go, to accept that he’s not free? If you can learn what you’re looking for, you’re one step closer to knowing how to break up with a married man.
If you don’t feel spiritually or emotionally healthy, this is the perfect time to start looking at your own personal growth. You are deeply and unconditionally loved by God, and you were created for a purpose. Your life can be so much more fulfilling and interesting! You can be truly and deeply happy, and you will find a healthy relationship when you learn how to take care of your emotional and spiritual health.
Decide that you deserve better than an affair with a married man
You deserve better. God created you to be a partner for a man who wants to spend his life with you, and who treats you with love and respect. Do you believe you’re worthwhile, valuable, and lovable? Do you love yourself? Sometimes learning how to break up with a married man involves a decision. You need to decide that you deserve more out of a relationship, and that a better man is waiting for you.
No matter what he says about his marriage, his wife, and his kids – remember that you’re only getting his perspective. He is telling you whatever he wants to tell you; he wants to make it easy for the affair to continue. He wants you to keep dating him even though he’s married and even though he won’t leave his wife. He’s lying to you.
Expect the breakup to hurt
Getting over an affair with a married man won’t happen overnight. You’ll grieve the breakup, and you’ll regret letting him go. You’ll wish you were back together, and you’ll cry yourself to sleep at night. But, you WILL heal and move on! You will be proud of yourself that you had the courage and dignity to stop dating a married man, and you will find someone who treats you like gold. You will stand tall and proud, and you will be happy again.
The breakup will hurt, but you will find true freedom and authenticity – and you will create a better life for yourself! You’ve been hurt and maybe even used. You thought your affair with this man wouldn’t turn out this way. Your heart has been bruised, broken, and maybe even stomped on.
Learn how to let go of someone you love
You need to break up with this married man, and allow yourself to grief. Heal. For your own sake, you need to heal your heart, mind, and soul – and your body. You can search for all the tips in the world on “how to break up with a married man” but you’ll fail if you let him go.
Read How to Let of Someone You Love: 3 Powerful Secrets (and 75 Tips!) for Healing Your Heart. I know you love this man, but he can’t be with you. He is lying to his wife, he’s lying to you, and he’s lying to himself. You need to let him go, and start healing from the pain of dating a married man.
It’s time for you to create a better life for yourself. I know you love him and you think you can’t live without him…but you have to remember that he is not free to love you the way you deserve.
I welcome your thoughts on how to break up with a married man. Read through the comments section below – you’ll find comfort and wisdom from other women who are struggling to let of their affairs. I can’t give you advice about breaking up with a man who is married, but it might help you to write about your experience.
It takes strength and courage to let go – but you can learn how to get over a married man! You are resilient and strong, full of faith and courage.
Take a deep breath, remember who you are, and move forward into a new life.