Reasons You Can’t Get Pregnant – A Fertility Checklist

Here’s a list of the most common reasons women can’t get pregnant, plus a fertility checklist. The reasons for not getting pregnant range from azoospermia (no sperm) to irregular periods. These male and female fertility checklists will help you decide if you should see a doctor or infertility specialist.

Reasons You Can’t Get PregnantDo you track your ovulation? The Clearblue Fertility Monitor is the most advanced way of tracking your fertility. It’s a non-invasive way to detect both LH and estrogen hormones, and it gives you comprehensive, personal information about your cycle to help you map out your fertility calendar.

Think about making lifestyle changes if you can’t get pregnant. “Couples who have sought specialist help and have been diagnosed with ‘unexplained fertility’ may find that making certain lifestyle changes can assist in conception,” writes Michael Dooley in Fit for Fertility. “These fertility checklists might be useful.”

Why Can’t You Get Pregnant?

The Fit for Fertility Checklist is made up of four individual checklists, for the egg, the sperm, conception, and general male and female fertility problems.

Fertility Checklist #1: The Egg (Female Fertility)

Answer yes or no to the following questions:

  1. Are you having irregular, short (less than 21 days) or long (greater than 34 days) periods?
  2. Do you bleed between your periods?
  3. Are you overweight (with a body mass index greater than 25)?
  4. Are you underweight (with a body mass index under 18.5)?
  5. Do you exercise excessively?
  6. Have you had treatment for cancer?
  7. Are you being treated for depression?
  8. Do you have diabetes?
  9. Have you ever had thyroid problems?
  10. Have you stopped having periods?

If your periods aren’t regular, read How to Know If You’re Ovulating – 3 Signs of Fertility.

Fertility Checklist #2: The Sperm (Male Fertility)

Answer yes or no to the following questions:

  1. Have you had an operation on your testicles?
  2. Have you had a hernia repair?
  3. Is there blood in your ejaculate?
  4. Have you had mumps?
  5. Have you had an injury to your testicles?
  6. Do you have any family members with cystic fibrosis?
  7. Have you had a vasectomy?
  8. Are you overweight (with a body mass index greater than 25)?
  9. Are you taking medication for a peptic ulcer?
  10. Do you have diabetes?

If you think you can’t get pregnant because of sperm problems, read How to Increase Male Fertility and Improve Sperm Count.

Are You Trying Get Pregnant?

Improve your sperm health with the Male Fertility Starter Pack

Regulate your period & ovulation cycle with the Hormone Balance Bundle

Fertility Checklist #3: Getting Pregnant

Answer yes or no to the following questions:

  1. Do you have intercourse less than twice a week?
  2. Do you have a problem with intercourse?
  3. Do you have pain with intercourse?
  4. Does your partner have problems with erection?
  5. Does your partner have premature ejaculation?
  6. Have you had pelvic inflammatory disease?
  7. Have you had an operation on your abdomen (eg, a burst appendix)?
  8. Do you have discharge?
  9. Have you had an ectopic pregnancy?

Make sure you have intercourse at the right time (when you’re ovulating)! That’s one of the best tips for getting pregnant without taking fertility drugs.

Fertility Checklist #4: Male and Female Fertility Problems

Answer yes or no to the following questions:

Fertility Checklist

“Reasons You Can’t Get Pregnant – A Fertility Checklist” image by Life_takers_crayons via DeviantArt

  1. Do you have a good, healthy diet?
  2. Do you smoke or drink excessive amounts of alcohol?
  3. Have you been exposed to environmental hazards?
  4. Have you tried to conceive before without success?
  5. Are you under significant stress?
  6. Do you spend a lot of time apart?
  7. Do you drink excessive amounts of caffeine?
  8. Do you take regular medications?
  9. Do you use recreational drugs?
  10. Do you have a history of a genetic problem?

If you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, you need to talk to a doctor about why you can’t get pregnant.  Make an appointment with your family physician doctor, and consider talking to a fertility specialist.

Are you charting your ovulation and most fertile days? Read Clearblue Digital Ovulation Test vs. the Calendar Method.

If you have any thoughts on why you can’t get pregnant, please comment below. Please note that I can’t offer medical advice! I can only offer support, general education, and tips.

The internet is a fantastic source of tips about fertility checklists, getting pregnant, and infertility information, but it’s not so good at offering personal health advice. If you can’t get pregnant, talk to at least three fertility specialists. Get tested for fertility – and make sure your partner gets tested, too.

I wish you all the best as you check into the reasons you can’t get pregnant. May you be blessed with a healthy pregnancy.

Related to Your Search


305 Responses

  1. Laurie says:

    Hi Preethi,

    It takes most couples more than one month of trying to conceive before they achieve a happy and successful pregnancy, so I think it’s too soon for you to be searching for “why can’t I get pregnant?” 🙂

    Our periods are always different, and discharge comes and goes. Different colors and scents are also normal. PMS symptoms also change, depending on our lifestyle and hormones….I think one or two changes isn’t indicative of anything. It’s only when a pattern occurs (eg, you miss every second period or you’ve been trying to conceive for 1.5 years and you keep getting your period) that tells you something may be awry with your health.

    Take a deep breath. Know that you will get pregnant when the time is right. Maybe it’ll be next month, maybe it’ll be in 10 months. I know you want to have a baby right away, but if you want to be happy then you have to learn how to flow with your life as it unfolds.

    Trust. Have faith. Know that you are deeply loved, and God is watching over you. He created you, and He will create a baby in you if that is the best thing for you.

    Take a deep breath, and know that everything will be more than okay. It will be awesome, if you choose for it to be awesome!


  2. Preethi says:

    I am 28 years old ttc for 1 month but got BFN. I have regular 30 day cycles but i notice a brown discharge before 3 days of my periods and slowly turns to normal menstrual flow..for the past 8 months..Can this affect my chance of getting pregnant. I tracked my ovulation last month and did things right but could not make it at first try..I am worried a lot..I have noticed premenstrual syndrome symptoms recently for the past 8 months ..will this affect my chance of getting pregnant?

  3. Laurie says:

    It really is disappointing and frustrating, to keep trying to get pregnant and nothing happens. My heart goes out to you and your boyfriend.

    If I were you, I’d consider getting a second opinion. I’d also look at the reasons my doctors told me I couldn’t get pregnant at 13 because there might be a health issue that is preventing pregnancy.

    Have you and your boyfriend considered adopting, or even volunteering with children until you figure out what’s going on with your health? My husband and I became a Big Sister and a Big Brother, and it was a great way to spend time with kids and brighten their lives while trying to get pregnant.


  4. Kyla says:

    I was told at 13 I couldn’t get pregnant. I met my ex boyfriend in 10tg we were together for 1year and 7 months. We tried and tried, nothing happened. I have a boyfriend now for a year and still nothing! I told my doctors but all they wanted me to do was get on depo and it was HORRIBLE! Can somebody give me some answers.

  5. Laurie says:

    Those are really good questions for a fertility doctor, ob-gyn, or even a family health care provider. Although….even they may not be able to tell you for sure why you (or your wife) can’t get pregnant. Fertility problems for both men and women can be undetectable.

    I once read an article by a fertility doctor who said that getting pregnant is a miracle. There are so many factors that go into the conception of a baby, so many tiny things that need to go right, so many variables and impossibilities…it really is a miracle.

    This makes it impossible to know for sure why you can’t get pregnant. I know this isn’t the answer you were hoping for — and here’s something you may like even less: Trust, and surrender to the process. Have faith that your life is unfolding the way it’s meant to, and that you will have a baby if it’s meant to be. Know that you are loved.

    Accept, and surrender. This doesn’t mean you do nothing — it means you keep trying to get pregnant, you go to the clinic and get fertility tests and talk to the right doctors — but you can relax into the flow of life and light.

    And, you might find this article helpful:

    Causes of Infertility for Men and Women Who Can’t Get Pregnant

    Be still, keep moving forward, and trust that you and your family will grow big, peaceful, and happy.

  6. Mick says:

    My wife and I have been trying to have a baby, in the last year we have both undergone fertility tests, she has taken medication, supplements, acupuncture and seeing a fertility doctor regularly but we are still not having any luck, we can’t get pregnant.

    My wife is now 35, when she was a teen til her mid twenties she had been a drug user (from what I hear any and everything) while all the tests she has done show that she is still capable of having kids. Is it possible that she is infertile because of this and it is not getting detected somehow?

  7. Marsanne says:

    Can something like a hernia op or removed spleen have an effect? TTC for 4 years… ?

  8. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    When you go to your family doctor and ask why you can’t get pregnant, what does she say? That’s the first step to figuring out if you have fertility problems…

    And here’s a recent article I wrote:

    The Best Way to Get Pregnant

    The internet is a great source of facts about male and female fertility problems, but an in-person examination with a doctor is the only way to find out why you can’t get pregnant. And even then, the doctor might not even be able to explain why!

  9. lauren says:

    im really starting to worry i already have a10 year old son i do drink a lot but only weekends i work and live normally throughout the week im over weigh slightly but have periods every month and pcos but how can i nmot concieve within the last 10 years?!! all my exes have moved on to have children whats wrong with me?

  10. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    There are different reasons you can’t get pregnant – and those reasons aren’t in a checklist because they depend on your body! If you’ve been trying to get pregnant for a year and you get your period every month, you need to see your doctor. The internet is a good source of information about the reasons women can’t get pregnant, but it won’t tell you the specific reason YOU aren’t getting pregnant!

    Go see your doctor as soon as possible.

  11. Parissa says:

    Hi I’m 37 years old I have one son 3.5 years old we are trying to have another one 1.5 years nothing happened i am having clomid about 6 months my period is long and painful what can I do? I’m so sad and depressed

  12. nessa says:

    hello I had a surgical abortion, one pill abortion then I had Bacteria vaginosious along with tricamonious and chalymida , I’ve been trying to conceive for 4 months and still no luck, every time he comes inside me I discharge a lot. What can I do to conceive with a background like this, have sex every day, I take the prenatals and still no help?

  13. Nea says:

    One of the questions on the list is Have you had an operation on your abdomen (eg, a burst appendix)? I did have an appendectomy about four or five years ago, will this hinder me in any way as far as me getting pregnant?

  14. Aaisah says:

    The women on here who had all these abortions and now asking the question of “why I cant get pregnant” sounds ludicrous to me. Makes you wonder why God gives women who dont want babies a pregnancy and those who would truely be great mothers have a hard time conceiving. Lifes not fair and I guess Ill never understand. Why…

  15. ladi says:

    Hi, I am trying to get pregnant for over a year now but not result what do I do I’m 34years now please i need help

  16. Abv says:

    I want to ask i am pregnent in 2 years ago 7 days only then after 2 years ago we will find out that we will pregnent or not? N how we find out

  17. jocelyn says:

    Hello, I’m 18 years old been trying for 3 months now, on to month 4 and still no luck 🙁 I have regular periods , i have sex every other day, I’m healthy, I temp everyday, I take prenatels, and eat healthy. Any tips?

  18. alexandra says:

    I’m 23 years old and I’ve never had protected sex. I’ve been sexually active for 5 years and had 3 partners who always questioned why I didn’t get pregnant. I’ve had tests done and all come back fine. I will have either no periods for MONTHS (longest 7 months) and if i do, they last 12 hours and I could loose up to a litre of blood. I’m constantly tired and I’ve been on treatment for depression and anaemia. I’ve lost all hope….

  19. serah says:

    Hii iam 18 years old and tried to get pregnant several times but I still cant.what’s that suppose to mean?

  20. steph says:

    Ive been trying for 6 months. Having reg periods expect this month i was 4 days late. Am taking folic acid. Do ovulation test they come out right. What wrong with me

  21. Amanda says:

    Hi , I am 22 years old and I haven’t eaten enough kilojoules/ calories in the past three years. My periods are irregular and also exercise a bit. Would it affect me from getting pregnant or can I still get pregnant ?

  22. Ebony Turner says:

    I just turned 28 years old and my fiancé is 26 and we have been trying to get pregnant for almost 2 years. The doctor say at your age you shouldn’t be having a problem and it will just take time. But my fiance was hit in his testicles when he was 9, but at 17 he had his first encounter and got a female pregnant but she didn’t keep it, Now he just isn’t producing. I cry seeing all my family and friends starting their families. A family is something we both want really bad and at this point I am starting to lose all hope and it’s killing me because with every month that passes a know he’s giving up to. Please we want this so bad, Any suggestions??

    • Becky says:

      I am in the almost exact same scenario! Please keep ur head and heart up. I know its heartbreaking just to see these reasons you can’t get pregnant…but remember why you guys are doing this in the first place. Love. To bring more love into your home.. i hope you guys have had some luck <3

  23. stephanie says:

    I just turned 29 years old and have been trying to get pregnant for almost 2 years. The doctor say at your age you shouldn’t be having a problem and it will just take time. I cry seeing all my family and friends starting their families. A family is something we both want really bad and at this point I am starting to lose all hope and it’s killing me because with every month that passes a know he’s giving up to.

  24. khanyi says:

    We’ve been trying so hard me and my fiance to have a child but it seems not happening it been 4 years and we starting to lose hope. What are the reasons I can’t get pregnant?

  25. [email protected] says:

    I’m 35yrs and have been married twice. My first husband was when I was 28yrs but no child. Then the new marriage is almost 2yrs now but I’m still not getting pregnant. I have check the specialist fertility for help in medication but they said im all good. Any help, any reasons I’m not getting pregnant?

  26. Channtelle says:

    I’m 31. I lost my virginity at 21. Shortly after that I found out I had clymidia. Since then I’ve only had 5 partners. And no STDs. Never done drugs. I drink once a week but not heavy. I do smoke. I’m not over or under weight. I do get ciys on my ovuri. My period is not always normal. Like sometimes it will come on the 10th n sometimes the15th. But it stays 5-7 days. I’m getting married n me n my fiance 30 have been trying to get pregnant. He doesn’t drink or drugs. But smoke. He has 2 kids. And I have none. I’ve never been pregnant. But have tried and failed in the past. I know it’s me. Cause all my ex have kids now. Or had them then. What can it be? Do you think that me getting clymidia after losing my virginity could be the problem? It was treated and the Dr told me that it was common for females who have sex for the first time to contract it. Idk……I’ve had paps and they turn out completely healthy. Was told there’s no reason why I can’t get pregnant. But I’ve never been and can’t get pregnant. Is it possible my eggs kill sperm?. I’m lossing my mind and my fiance is becoming depressed and frustrated. Plz help us.

  27. Bhupendra says:

    Thank you for these reasons I can’t get pregnant. Its depressing but it helps to know that there is a reason.

  28. Brightner says:

    I had an ectopic pregnancy before and also a couple of abortions. Are these reasons I can’t get pregnant?

  29. Precious says:

    Im having a problem with my periods.. Sometimes they come and sometimes they don’t come. And i have never prevent in my life … And also have a problem of periodes pains. Please help me?

  30. tiffany says:

    I had gotten pregnant at di age of 17 an abort it in 2008 an In 2010 I had abdominal pain an I went to di doctor for a abdominal ultra sound an they told me they did see nothing wrong with deh guess da gas they gave me medication for it.then few days while taking di medications my period came down an notice I was passing lone clogs of blood.that I Neva pass yet in my life I told my mom an she said I could have been that I was pregnant an had a miscarriage an from den up to now I am trying to get pregnant an isn’t conceiving.I don’t really drink.but now an again I would take a Lee drink but I don’t smoke either.only my boy friend smoke an drink.but I notice he is not the problem because he had a baby before getting with me

  31. Janet says:

    I got pregnant when I was 15 had my kiddo at 16 now I’m 37 me n hubby been trying 1.5 yrs and nothing I haven’t been able to get pregnant since my daughter n it’s been 21 yes I really want a baby with my husband my periods or every 29/31 days last normal 4 days it’s just not happening

  32. nikki says:

    OK so I had 2 abortions one in 2011 and 2012 now I can’t get pregnant been trying for 5 months NOTHING.
    Not on drugs anymore, eating better, not much of stress but still sum, I am manic depression and really bad aneixty attacks. I always had these though but I am wondering how come now I can’t get pregnant. Maybe it’s my boyfriend he does smoke a lot of cigarettes but I wonder if the abortion did anything to me?

  33. Candiace says:

    Hello my name is Candiace. Three years ago when I was nineteen I got pregnant conceived March 16th 2012 automatically I was having problems in the beginning because I was bleeding on and off. Naturally I had a miscarriage. Every since then I have not gotten pregnant since. I have irregular periods also I’ve been off of drugs for eight months I am now going to a suboxin doctor. I’m 22 years old now me and my fiance have tried getting pregnant for two years I use to not have a period at all now I have one every month. Usually on the same day last month I was seven days late. I also drink a lot of mountain dew/ caffeine I also smoke but I don’t drink or do drugs anymore except for subs. What is going on I’m getting older so are my eggs I want a baby so bad please help me what do I do

  34. Nandini says:

    I am 31 yrs old. I had been identified & treated for pcod and tubes blocked last year. Have reduced weight nearly 10 kg. have undergone 2 iui in last 2 months. I’m tired of trying. Dr found as unexplained infertility as me and partner has no infertility issues. Pls suggest

  35. Claire says:

    Hi im 32 , suffered with a miscarraige nearly 2 years ago . Havent been in any contraception, and havrnt had any period since . Ive had bloods , and scans and nothing everythibgs notmal . i exercise i dont smoke i eat relatively healthy. Im noy even stressed or on any tablets atall . Why have i stopped having periods? Someone please help x

  36. Mara says:

    My fiancé and I are willing to have a baby. We see off and on , because we leave two countries apart. (Work) I had my period on the 14th of July and it was due to the 14th of August. But I had sex from the 9th to the 13th. Three times a day. But on the 14th I felt sick with heavy cramps and later the afternoon , my period arrived. But not heavily. I’m not pregnant and I don’t know why. I’ve have a miscarriage last year.( ectopic pregnancy) We want kids but I don’t know what’s the matter. He got kids by another mother. I need help please!!

  37. marilyn says:

    Hi iam 45 and I been trying to get pregnant for the last three yrs but nothing has happen I am in good health but I do drink a lot of coffee and do smoke do u think if I stop smoking cigs n drinking coffee I will have more chances of getting pregnant also I do have a cyst in my right ovarie pl tell me what can I do

  38. karen says:

    hi! i have been to trying to get pregnant for the last 10 years but it seems that i dont have any luck.
    My period is consistent. I had an ultrasound before and the doctor told me that i have a very small
    cyst in my ovary? does it affect me getting pregnant?

  39. vicky says:

    I am 27 I have got a daughter that is 8 years old I had her when I was 19 I took heroin for 5 years after she was born I also had the implant which should of been taken out 3 years ago I have been clean of drugs for 1 year My fiancé is 52 he has got kids a 22 yr old and a 28 yr old I know I should give my body time to adjust but I am beating myself up What if god is punishing me all the things I have done wrong Someone help im going out of my mind

  40. kay says:

    Hi I am 33 years off age i hav le normal periods every 24 days and have had my thyriod removed as due 2 having a multi nodules and hav been on thyriod tablets for the past for years 75mg . Would you give advice i have been trying for a baby more then 8 months know..would my thyriod be problem concerving..Please would you email me.

  41. Nicole says:

    I am 26yrs old been tring to get pregnant for 2 yrs, i always had regular period.. But still cant get pregnant so frustrating.

  42. Smit Shah says:

    Appreciate a list! Although, this says some of the common reasons, many a times some women are completely unaware of them. Given reasons sound a pretty good awareness. Male fertility points are perfectly a value as they usually may seem to have been greatly neglected. Thanks!

  43. portia says:

    Hi I had my last period day on 22 may then had sex on 2june now on 15june I tested positive but thers a faint line very lite and the other 1 very dark

  44. Mbalie says:

    I’ve been using triphasil for so many years and i decided to stop in January this year due to my eager to conceive but since then i haven’t seen my periods. Please help I’m so desperate to conceive. Thanks

  45. Christian says:

    Hi. There is a lot of focus on female fertility, however the male is equally important and could be a reason you can’t get pregnant. Just like woman, mens sperm and fertility decline with age, so after age 35, its recommended that couples seek help after just 6 month of trying. If you want to test your partners fertility, you can preorder the first reliable home test and learn more about male fertility.

  46. abc says:

    I bleed once in 15 days and I want to conceive now. How quick can that happen

  47. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Answering the “why can’t I get pregnant?” question can’t be done over the internet! I know it would be so easy and awesome to find out why you’re not conceiving a baby, but the internet is not the place to get answers about your body. The internet is fantastic for general information, not for specific advice that pertains to your health.

    Talk to a doctor. Don’t lose hope! Talk to a gynecologist or your family doctor, and get tested for fertility issues. And don’t let your partner get away with doing nothing. Men are just as liable to have fertility issues as women are. Your partner could easily have a sperm health problem that is the reason why you can’t get pregnant. So both of you need to go to a doctor for fertility tests.


  48. wumi says:

    Trying to conceive for 2 years i am 26 years old, had ectopic pregnancy at age 18. The doctors think i’m ovulating but could my tubes be blocked?

  49. shree says:

    Hi… For last 6 month me and my husbnd try for a baby but i am not get pregnent… I dont know why now we r become hopeless

  50. Maria says:

    I am 18 I’ve been trying to get pregnant I have regular period every month . I havent been able to get pregnant I try on my flirty days and still nothing I just keep getting my period any tips ../:

  51. Rachel says:

    Hello my name is Rachel I’m 19 years old about to be 20 in September.. I moved in with my fiance about 2 years ago. And we’ve Been trying to get pregnant and Nothing 🙁 I use to be on the birth control shot but I haven’t got another shot since I moved in which was a little over 2 years ago…. Did that maybe mess up my whole ovulation ? We really want a baby. We’ve been having sex regular but nothing. I’m 5’3 and 175 lbs. I’m overweight maybe I just need to lose weight… I need advice… I haven’t gone to a fertility clinic I want to but I don’t know how much it’s gonna be. I don’t know how go about going to a fertility clinic…. Help me please .. ….


  52. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    I’m sorry you’re having problems getting pregnant, and you are struggling with the “Why can’t I get pregnant?” question. It’s very sad and frustrating when you want to have a baby, but you can’t get pregnant.

    My prayer is that you find the right gynecologist, urologist, or fertility doctor to help you get pregnant. If you don’t know why you can’t get pregnant, you need to get help in person from a doctor. The internet is a good place for basic general information, but it isn’t the right way to diagnose specific male or fertility health problems.

    Talk to a doctor. Get both you and your husband tested for possible fertility problems.

    Don’t give up, and don’t lose hope!

  53. memunat says:

    I have miscarriage February 2015 this is the June now I have been trying to conceive since then but no positive reaction. I feel very worried and confuse. pls I need help

  54. refitha says:

    Am 25 yrs old… We r doing regular intercourse but am not getting pregnant… My period n bmi also normal… Der s nothing trouble for me but still am not pregnant..

  55. shaunterria says:

    I have been trying to concieve for almost 2 years with no success and I have very irregular periods ‘ I don’t ovulate regularly or maybe not at all ‘ and my hormones are off balance should I go see my family doctor?? Will he give me fertility tests?? Will he give me some medicine to help me concieve?? and get my body back normal and on track?? What can I buy or take to help me concieve and get my body back normal and on track?? What should I Do??

  56. Decyn says:

    hi. I’m devyn. I’m 18. Me and my boyfriend have been having sex once a week and we don’t use a condom and i miss my birth control a lot. And each time I havent gotten pregnant. My periods are still irregular and I don’t understand why I haven’t gotten pregnant.

  57. kim says:

    I’ve been trying for full 2 months to get pregnant and it isn’t happening 🙁 I did a ovulation test to see when I’m ovulating n I’m not ovulating at all :(( what shall I do:( is there something wrong with me n what if I’ve never have ovulated 🙁 I’m 25 years old n want a baby now

  58. sushma says:

    hi , my self sushma .
    i am fit and fine never smoke drink , my husband is also fit and fine , we tried so many time but i am not able to get pregnant, we got married in 2010 , earlier we dint want baby but now it has been long time , now need baby , but unable to get pregnant , i have some white liquidation problem it is not so much but depends , i m stressed now , my family and in ln laws are asking for baby ASAP.what should i do?

  59. rushi says:

    hi im 21 years old I married before 1 year we are trying to get pregnant for 1 year but still not before my wedding I have periods problem but after that I treatment for a urine infection afrer than treatment my periods are coming regular but not going well what can I do pls help me

  60. tesa says:

    Next month makes a year sense I had my birth control taken out an still having trouble getting pregnant

  61. ankita says:

    Hi me nd my husband trying for a baby since last 4-5 mths. But unable to conceive i hav been gone thru all d test sperms hsg nd other tests nd d prob. Is my eggs r nt gud size nd dont ovulate but my gynaecologist put me on medication but dint helped den last mth. She suggested to go for iui nd tat also dint worked so i wud like to know d reason y i cnt conceive nd i smoke 2-3 cigg. A day nd due to dis unable to quit so kindly tel is it due to smoking i am unable to conceive?

  62. Aiko says:

    Me and my husband have been trying for the past 4 months and I have yet to get pregnant. We have sex everyday or every other day, what could be the problem? Does him being super active due to being in the military have any fault to this?

  63. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Unfortunately, about 35% of couples who can’t get pregnant are dealing with “unexplained infertility.” It’s possible you’re one of those couples. Sometimes there are no answers, and no easy, quick ways to get pregnant.

    One option is to go to a different fertility doctor or clinic, and start fresh. The past test results and analyses might be misleading for some reason, and the answer to the “Why can’t I get pregnant” question may require a fresh new look at your health – and your partner’s health. I know this is an expensive and time-consuming option, but it’s a possibility.

    Another option is to accept that you can’t get pregnant. For some reason, your body isn’t accepting a pregnancy. It’s not time for you to have a baby. Maybe, once you accept your reality for what it is right now, you will start to enjoy your life again! You’ll relax, and be filled with peace. You’ll let go of the anxiety and fear you feel, and start enjoying the blessed rest of acceptance and surrender. And then….who knows….maybe your body will be ready to conceive, and your partner’s sperm will be ready to make a baby!


  64. maria says:

    Hi im maria i am 19 years old . I am trying to get pregnat for the past 2 month but my period comes in different days , last month was on 3-29-15 & now 4-26-15

  65. Batool says:

    Hi, I just turned 27 years old. My husband is 40. We have been trying to get pregnant for 4 and a half years. We did all the tests and everything looks normal. I went through 6 rounds of ivf and all failed, Ive never gotten a positive pregnancy test. For the record my husband and I are smokers (1 pack a day). I currently did testing for any abnormalities in my eggs but all looks good and i have 4 embryos waiting. I do try with my husband on a monthly basis to conceive, about 3-5 times a week and everyday around ovulation. Just don’t seem to know what the problem is. Im worried it could be from smoking. other than that I am healthy and dont drink. What could it be!? This breaks my heart.

    • LoobieLoo says:

      If it really broke your heart you wouldn’t be smoking, all that poison would really hurt your baby. I know it’s hard to give up, but if you truly want a child that badly you wouldn’t be smoking, I know because before I even started trying for my first I gave up my 20 a day habit. Not fair to inflict all those horrible chemicals on my body when its trying to make a baby! Good luck!!! xxx

  66. Raje says:

    Hi.. I am tryin to conceive for the past 6 months. As per the questions mentioned above myself and my partner doesn’t have fertility problems. I get my periods sharp on date. But sadly I couldn’t make a baby. Please help me out

  67. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear thato,

    It sounds like you’re wondering why you can’t get pregnant, and you aren’t sure if you have fertility problems. The miscarriage could mean something, or it could just mean that the embryo didn’t implant properly in the right place.

    I can’t answer the “why can’t I get pregnant?” question for you or anyone. The only way to find out if you have female fertility problems is to see a gynecologist in person, and start doing some of the fertility tests in this article.

    I wish you all the best – may you conceive a baby quickly, and have a healthy pregnancy!


  68. thato says:

    hi i am 21yrs old and i had miscarrage on 2012 and im struggling to fall pregnant why???

  69. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Maria,

    I’m so happy for you, that you found out why you couldn’t get pregnant – and that your unexplained infertility turned into a baby! It doesn’t even matter how you started your family, now that your dreams of having a child have come true 🙂

    My prayer for all couples who are asking “Why can’t I get pregnant?” is for hope and healing. May you learn the source of your male or female fertility problems, and may you find solutions that are quick and easy. May you move forward in your attempts to start a family with peace and joy, and may you trust God to give you wisdom, patience, and guidance as you try to get pregnant. Amen.


  70. Maria says:

    Thank you for such a full list! It is really very useful information for all us who can not get pregnant. Well, in any case when one faces such a problem, the very first thing which must be done is seeing your doctor. All this info on the internet is very useful, but the doctor`s consultation is something essential in this case. Especially when all these reasons do not match with your case and you are diagnosed with unexplained infertility. That is how it was in my situation. After 5 yeas of trying to conceive I finally found out what is my problem. It was so difficult to struggle with something unknown. But we started to do it. And now we are finally done with our journey. 3 failed ivf attempts. Then 5 egg donation failed. The only option left surrogacy. Which was done in the Ukraine. And thanks God it finally worked. We are parents now. And I can say in loud, confidently that our many years, long struggle is done. The war with infertility is finally over. And we won. We managed to do it. I wish everybody would do the same =)

    • Jamie says:

      I’m having kind of the same Problem.. an I have a period every month but it comes on different days an I bleed about 6 to 7 days an my legs hurt me so bad.. when I do and I’m 18 an I really just want a baby an haven’t gone to the doctor yet.. An don’t do any drugs or drink or smoke do you have any tips for me? Please an thank you. -Jamie

  71. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Zoey,

    Thank you for being here, and sharing how you’ve been trying to get pregnant. It sounds like you really want a baby with your boyfriend – it’s very important to you! When conceiving a baby is your main motivating factor in life, of course you’re wondering “why can’t I get pregnant?”

    Have you talked to a gynecologist or a family doctor? That’s the first thing you need to do if you think you have fertility problems. And, just because your boyfriend got someone pregnant in the past doesn’t mean he doesn’t have male fertility problems now. Our bodies change over time, and our bodies are affected by our lifestyle (eg, getting enough sleep, exercise, healthy foods, etc).

    I pray that you find peace in your desire to get pregnant. May you find joy and happiness deep in your soul and spirit, and in your relationship with God. I pray that you learn the art of being content in any situation, and the fulfillment of trusting God that your life is unfolding exactly the way He planned. May you focus on getting emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy – and may you be guided by God’s wisdom, joy, and peace in your life. May you meet wise, grounded people who can help you make good decisions about your life and health, and may you be calm and centered as you move forward in your life. Amen.


  72. Zoe says:

    Hi I’m Zoey, when I was thirteen I had a miscarriage at three months. Im now 18 years old. I’ve not tried to get pregnant since but at the same time I haven’t used protection nor has my boyfriend pulled out. I am not currently on birth control. For the last four years until five months ago I was on depressant and anxiety medications and mood stabilizers… Idk what is wrong.. my periods have never been normal. My boyfriend already has a child with a past girlfriend so I know it’s not him and since I had my miscarriage I don’t understand why I’m not conceiving. Can someone please help me? Having a child has been the main thing keeping me motivated throughout life.

  73. Laurie says:

    Yes, you can and should see a fertility specialist, even if your boyfriend or husband doesn’t want to get his sperm checked. If there is something wrong with your ovaries or eggs – or if you have a health issue such as endometriosis or fibroids – you need to learn about it as soon as possible.

    Taking care of your fertility isn’t just so you can get pregnant. It’s about your overall health and wellness, and your peace of mind!

  74. chelsea says:

    Hi I have been trying to get pregnant for nearly 3 years now. I have had one miscarriage 2 years ago. My boybriend won’t get a fertility test. Can I still see a specialist if he won’t go

  75. Stacey says:

    I was wondering if someone could give me advice on who to talk to if I do not have infertility insurance but think there may be a problem since we have been trying to concieve for a year now.

  76. Laurie says:

    Dear Meah,

    I can’t predict what your chances are of getting pregnant, but it sounds like you’re doing everything right! You’re in touch with your doctor, and getting your hormone levels tested. Have you talked to a fertility specialist? GPs know a little about alot of medical issues, but fertility doctors know alot about fertility and getting pregnant!

    Today I wrote an article called 13 Tips for Getting Pregnant Without Taking Fertility Drugs: . It may help you if you aren’t already pregnant. I hope you are pregnant – I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.


  77. meah says:

    Hi everyone, I’m 20, I was on the birth control patch in September 2013 for only 3 days before I stopped because it was way to strong for my body. After I stopped I began to have irregular periods for 3 months. My body seemed to be going back to normal a little starting January of 2014. Since march my fiance and I have been having unprotected sex to try for another baby but sadly no luck. I’ve gotten my hormone levels tested and everything came back fine and so did his. My gp gave me clomid and I began on the 5th day of my period this month (may) I took it days 5-9 I used opk test strips and got 2 dark lines indicating positive results for 5 days and was also checking my cervical mucus what could be my chances of pregnancy this month please help! Thanks in advance

  78. Tara says:

    We can’t get pregnant because my husband has a sperm count that goes up and down, and also has low motility and morphology. I’m perfectly healthy.

  79. Laurie says:

    Seeing a gynecologist, urologist, or fertility doctor is the best way to determine why you can’t get pregnant. It can be scary to think of the possibilities, but it’s better to face the unknown than live in uncertainty!

  80. Neijohn says:

    Hi my name is Neijohn and i’m dying to know what should i do when i have irregular period and cant get pregnant..i have a year old daughter and cant get pregnant after..

  81. Emily @ Why Can't I Get Pregnant Blog says:

    These are great checklists for both men and women. It does take an effort on both parts to make it happen. Unfortunately for some couples, they get pregnant so easily and some try for years. Wonderful article and great information on this site 🙂

    Thank you

  82. Laurie says:

    Hi Cassandra, yes, it’s probably a good idea to take a home pregnancy test if you think you’re pregnant. Sometimes women do have a light period after conceiving – it really depends on the woman!

    Hi Debzi-anne, have you tried an ovulation predictor kit? That’s a good way to start tracking your periods, even if you’re not as regular as you were before.

  83. Cassandra says:

    I’m 33 years old and my periods have never been regular but this month’s when it can on it stay on for 3 days and it was light pink so do I need to go take a home pregnant test to see what going on.

  84. debzi-anne says:

    Hi don’t know whether you can give me any help have been tryin for baby for 4 months now. before we started tryin to conceive i did have mostly regular periods since we have started tryin my periods have got so irregular ? Help x

  85. Laurie says:

    Have you been trying to get pregnant for 3 months? It actually takes a year on average for women to get pregnant, so you are not actually having problems yet!

    I know it is frustrating and difficult to keep trying to conceive, and keep being disappointed…but you have to remember that getting pregnant takes most couples several months. Try to be patient — and track your ovulation.

    Keep the faith, my friend. Come back and tell me when you are pregnant!

  86. Tessa says:

    Got pregnant in June 2006 had miscarriage at 6 weeks. Waited 2 1/2 years got pregnant in January 2009 had son in November. Started trying again for baby number two this December 2012 still not pregnant. Went to doctor he say’s I’m healthy.

  87. Laurie says:

    I wish I could tell you why you can’t get pregnant, but I can’t. If your gynecologist or family doctor hasn’t given you any fertility tests (or test results), then you need to get a second opinion.

    It’s important to start figuring out what your problem is as soon as the year-mark has passed. That is, if you’ve been trying to get pregnant for at least a year, then it’s time to get some serious tests to figure out what’s holding the egg or sperm up.

    Be careful about getting pregnancy advice on the internet! It can be good to hear other people’s stories and tips for getting pregnant, but you also have to remember that your body (and your partner’s) is different than other people’s. You need to get your own tests and keep trying until you find the right fertility doctor.

  88. carol says:

    Hi, I’m 42 years old. I’ll be 43 years old next month.
    I had two miscarriages back to back.My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant now for some time but no luck.
    I was told that my overies look like chocolate chip cookies and that my HCG level is low.I made an appointment with a doctor and had test done but never got the results back.My husband and I have been trying but like I said no luck,We can’t get any one to tell us why we can or can’t get pregnant.If any one could help please help.I to want a baby.

  89. gita k bendre says:

    hi i am 25yrs and 3yrs for merriege i am not concieving my all test are normal n my hsbnds too.i’ve tried homeopathy also it does not work m really scared whether i will concieve or not i really dont know what to do pls help me.

  90. Aisha says:

    Try taking Clomid

  91. Brenda Rogers says:

    Sorry to hear that Shini. Have you tried Pregnancy Miracle? There have been some incredible success stories, maybe it can help you too?

  92. Bella says:

    We have been TTC now for over 2 years and still nothing. This month I had hope because my period was 2 days late and… there it was. I didn’t want to buy a HPT because something in me tolod me that it was false hope. My period has always been on time (28 day cycle, this is the first time that it’s late), my ovulation is always on time, but still nothing. I am tired of friends telling me not to worry. I haven’t been worrying up untill 6 mos ago, when I realized this was not going to be easy if at all. Not stressing hasn’t helped. So, I’m ready to just give up. Sorry, I’m not trying to bring others down.

  93. rajitha says:

    Hi, iam rajitha,
    my marriage on june 2002,ihad my first pregnany on 2003,that time i delivered by baby girl on jan 2004,after 3 years i had second pregnancy but that time i got oberson for 3months,till now 2012 iam trying to get pregnancy but idont have, we feel so sad,
    we went infertility center last year ago,the doctor do all the tests for me&my husband, she said no problems in your definatly you get pregnant, we feel very happy ,but i dont hava pregnancy

    please,reply for my problem,iam in very stress.

  94. NICOLE ELLIS says:


  95. TheNarcissist says:

    Ladies, I know it’s stressful and sometimes even painful when you hear about others getting pregnant without even trying. But our time will come. We need to just take a deep soothing breath, and stay relaxed. Stressing is a big contributing factor to having trouble conceiving, as well as meds, menstrational issues, etc. I wish us all the best of luck, and I think we will make fantastic mommies because we spent time wishing, hoping and trying. =) so keep trying. I’ve been trying for five years, had two miscarriages and I still have hope. Wish me luck as well please!

  96. Joy says:

    Doc said i’m diabetic abt4yrs ago bt av bin married sins then and i av a daughter of3yrs after my marriage.I’v bin trying to get pregnant since my daughter clockd a yr and half,bt nothin is happening,cld it b d diabetes?wot shld i do,i nid anoda child

  97. Mandy says:

    I’m 26, my husband and I have been ttc for 2 1/2 years, we’ve seen an re and all the tests have came back normal, hsg looked great, lots of follicles, ovulate regular, cycles 28 days exact, sperm normal, tried clomid twice, I am 5’2 and 100 lbs, will we eventually conceive since everything has been normal? Could I be stressing about it too much? Any help would be appreciated

  98. stace says:

    me and my fiancee have been together a year and 2 months and we been trying to have a baby but i think i cant after having a cist removed last year can someone tell me can i recieve because im not getting preg 🙁 need help pleaseeee xx

  99. shini says:

    hi iam 26 year old. i got hormonal and poly-cystic problem,i went doctor
    (DGO.then she gave my tablets and cured my problems.8months passed after my treatment,still i didnt become pregnant plz help me.i was married before 5 years.i need baby what to do?plz give me suggestion and help me.

  100. maria echevarria says:

    hi my name is maria i have try for the past 3 years to have a baby i haven’t being able to concieved.i have regular periods,and im not overwiegth and i havent been able to get pregnant. i wen to the doctor and i got check and they told me that everything looks normal. my question is. why im not being able to concieved a baby? if anybody knows and could give ma and answer i would really apreciated.

  101. shalini pandey says:

    hi, i have thyroid and diabetes.can i cancieve baby, my periaed cycle is regular,my age 28 & my hubby age 29.plz help me

  102. Sara Beth says:

    Since my last period was on a 40 day cycle should I assume the next one will be as long? I believe that I am having implantation bleeding now which started on the 22nd of February and I had ovulation cramping around the 10th (every few months I experience pain while ovulating). My last period was the 26th of January, should I take a test on the 6th of March (the 40th day of my cycle)? Or should I take one now (2 weeks after ovulating)?

  103. vasugi says:

    hai i’m 22 years old and my hubby was 29 yrs old.i’m ttc since 8 months but notyet.i have consulted gynaecologist who told me to take follicle monitoring test and tube testing.i have undergone the was good result oly.but why can’t i get conceive?please help me because am very much worried about daily and i get nervous

  104. moumita poddar says:

    i have thyroid problem.can i concieve baby?my perioed cycle is regular.pls ans age is 22.ihave nothing any other problem

  105. Nie says:

    Hi im a 36yr old . Have 2 kids frm my previous relationship and now i been with new boyfriend for 10 yrs. Hes 30yr old. We been trying to get pregnant for 3yrs now. But i cant get pregnant. Is it because of me or is it because of him? We both are healthy.. We dont do drugs so what is it??

  106. tish says:

    i am 28 years old.i have one son.i socialise alot and go to lotsa i consume lots of alcohol.i do not smoke or take drugs.i now want to get it safe?

  107. Anne Hopkins says:

    Hi! I have consulted here and then I just followed the advice to release all the stress and enjoy our relationship… I tried to file a leave and my husband too. We had a vacation in Cambodia and Vietnam. No stress as in no phones, laptop and everything… just enjoyed each other. Guess what, we’re expecting our baby on September! Thank you soooo much for the advice!

  108. nomsa says:

    me and my husband have been trying to conceive for over a year now and have been unsuccessful.i’m 33yrs and have 2 kids 13 and 3. Recently my periods have been limited to 3 days from 5 days.
    What could be the problem.

  109. Sara Beth says:

    I am 22 and my husband is 23. We have a 2 yr old daughter, whom we conceived on the first try. We are trying to conceive again. We started in October. My periods have been regular since a few months after having my first daughter. On the 9th of EVERY month I start having brown discharge, on the 13th of each month I start bleeding an it lasts for 2 days. Suddenly when we start to try to have another baby, my bleeding started on the 5th of November and lasted 10 days. December 17th I started brown discharge and 20th I started bleeding which lasted a few days. I had what I assumed was implantation bleeding on January 7th. I was expecting my period, unless I was pregnant, would be January 17th-20th but I started the brown discharge the 26th and bleeding the 28th. It ended February 2nd and I started brown discharge again February 4th- today on and off.
    -Why have my periods gotten so screwed up?
    -Now that my period is on a 40 day cycle, is conceiving even possible?
    -What could have changed since I had my last child? (I’ve been eating healthier than before, I have always been underweight because I have a fast metabolism, I don’t exercise because I have issues with low blood pressure)
    -My husband had one thyroid removed right after I gave birth. He hasnt had any problems related to his lack of thyroid yet. My husband also lost a significant amount of weight using a medication. He weighs about 175, he lost 70 pounds. Could either of these have an effect on his sperm?

  110. stace says:

    hello im 21 years old and had a crist removed last july. me and my fiance have been trying for a baby, for almost a year and im stressing that i cant have kids 🙁 could some please help me x

  111. sarah says:

    Loads of women have used pregnacare & conceived in a month! Some of these have been ttc for 8 years+ ! Good look everyone! Xx

  112. sharra says:

    can u buy fertilaid over the counter??

  113. Niamh says:

    Hi Laurie.

    Im 21 years old and my boyfriend is 23 years old. We have been going out for 3 years now. We have been trying for a baby for 3years and still no luck. We used that Pre-Seed Lube to help conceive and I also used Pregnacare Conception Tablets.He has been to an uroligist to do an ultrasound onn his scrotum and also to check his sperm count he will get the results March 2012. I had Chlamidia 9months before i got with him but the doctor gave me tablets to take to get rid of it and i had an sti screening 7months after i was treated and I was clear of all stis. Could it be me thats the problem and not him? Im so stressed out lately seeing all my friends have children and i cant:(

    reply much appreciated. thank you.

  114. amiee says:

    update on IUI:

    Failed on 1st try due to low sperm motility and the doc said it only has 3% chance of success so she suggested IVF… =( Time to save and work hard to get $13k+ SIGH!

  115. Princess3000 says:

    My husband and I are trying to get pregnant. We however are really young but are both really wanting to start our families considering we really never had one. :/ We are not sure if he is infertile or if I am. We are too scared to go into a doctor cuz we dont want to be judged on being young or whatever. He wants to take fertility pills but I wont allow it cuz I have heard some scary things about that.
    I missed a period for almost 3 months and then randomly it came jst this month but it started off like spotting…then brownish red….now its like bright pinkish red but its not enough to fill a pad or anything.
    Please HELP us?!

  116. sharra says:

    my boyfriend has an 11 year old and he been trying to have a baby ever since,now him and i been together and we have been trying for 1yr and nothing,is there something wrong with him?

  117. Christine says:

    We hv tried having a baby 4 6 years ,we hv seen doctors and results are that we are ok,am 25 and my husband is37 ..hw can u help?

  118. Dee says:

    Dear Readers
    I have been trying to get pregnant for a little while,- still trying to conceive! Im getting frustrated I have not gotten pregnant, im under a little stress- and I’m a little underweight – but i still get my period on time REGUALRLY??? HELPP!!! EVERYTHING ELSE IS FINE WITH ME, ????
    Dee, <3

  119. Bola says:

    I want to donate my eggs but I have ulcers all the time. Is it possible in my condition. Can also become pregnant I am 31 years old

  120. grace says:

    hi lau,,when my husband took a vacation here in my country just to get married, we stayed together 1 month and 2 weeks, we want a baby, we’re tried to do but why we can’t?.my period is regular, is there a reasons why we cannot conceive a baby?.can u please show me your tips on how to conceive a baby coz by month of april i will go to other country which is to my husband and we really really want to have a family.

    Thanks a lot!


  121. B.A says:

    I’m 30years old and i got pregnant the first time it was unwanted so ihad passed abortion.two years later we had our lovlely first girl.she is 3 years old now.
    We have been trying for eight months to get pregnancy again but we cant!!!
    We are healthy and my husbend tests is very fine. My periods is regular and i could tracked the ovulation accurAtly also by feeling the ovulation’s pain and also by ovulation KIT.and despite that i cant get pregnant.
    I m so frustrated.
    How can we improve our chances?

  122. nads says:

    hi just wanted to know we have been trying for a baby for the past 3 months or so I already have 3 children and I am 28 years…. before my last child my husband was not diabetic… but now he is and has been for nearly 3 years, can that affect me conceiving, thank you

  123. Moet says:


    I have been married for a year and half and we still can’t pregnant my period is regular. We both have kids outside of our marriage so I know we can have kids but what is the problem now. Also I have HIV but I’m on medicine for it and my doctor told me I can still have kids with no problem. So why has it not happen yet. I’m also on prenatal vitamins and have been for a while now. This problem is really making me stress out. We both has been check out by a doctor. Please help.

    Sincerely, Moet

  124. Maria says:

    Hi. Ive been married for a year and a half and havent been able to concieve. Ive been under lots of stress and deppressed because i moved from states and dont know anyone. My husband goes out of town to work. And i stay alone fir some time. I recently learbed i have a utures infection and was wondering how that can also affect me. Im taking meds to better that situation.

  125. Yaz says:

    I have thyroid and been trying to have a baby for the past two years what should I do?

  126. Hildah says:

    I’m a 22 year old lady. I have a problem with my womb and it started in 2009. This pain it comes & it goes. So i want to know if i can get pregnant soon cause i’ve been trying so many times. Please help.:-(

  127. amiee says:

    we went to see her and she suggests IUI. it seems like my husband ‘s sperm has a mortality too.

  128. Dear Amiee,

    Have you talked to a fertility specialist or gynecologist yet? Sometimes they can give you insights into why you aren’t getting pregnant, so you can maximize your chances.


  129. Dear Anne,

    I think it’s way too early to conclude that you can’t get pregnant! It takes most couples a year on average to get pregnant – even if they’re young and having sex on the days they’re most fertile (ovulation).

    So, keep tracking your fertile days, and keep your fingers crossed that your husband is around at that time.

    Also, remember that you have many fertile years ahead of you. Try to enjoy this time of being a newlywed without pressuring yourselves to get pregnant. Babies and children put a lot of stress on even the happiest marriages, so it’s good to build a strong, healthy relationship with your husband before you bring babies into the world.


  130. amiee says:

    I am 34 now. so u see my time is ticking. we have been trying to conceived for over a year now until I found out both of fallopian tubes are blocked. I had a surgery to unblocked it 3 months ago and I still couldn’t get pregnant. my period is irregular and unpredictable. shortest cycle I had is 26 days. longest cycle is 36 days. every month I used ovulation predict kit but my period always come longer than ovulation date. it’s just so frustrated with the right timing. sometimes I dunno my own body anymore.

  131. Anne says:

    Hi there Laurie, the same as with the others here’s my problem. Im 22-yr old, married. We have been married for 5 month already. But the thing is, he is in abroad. Then last month, he was with me for 1 whle month. I tracked my ovulation days, and that is an unprotected sex. But still, it’s negative. Is it an indication that Im infertile or too early to conclude? I was thinking, because not to mention and even if im ashamed to share this, i had trichomoniasis when i was 19. And im young but im frustrated on having a baby.

  132. Dear M,

    Have you taken a pregnancy test? That’s the best way to determine if you’re pregnant! Sometimes women have symptoms of pregnancy, but aren’t pregnant.


  133. Dear jonjon,

    I’m so sorry to hear about your ectopic pregnancy, and that they had to take your fallopian tubes out. That’s very sad.

    What did the doctor or gynecologist say about conceiving a baby? I think you can get pregnant and carry a baby if you have a uterus, but it depends on how your existing “female parts” are doing.

    The best way to find if you can get pregnant is to get examined in person by a fertility doctor or gynecologist.

    I wish you all the best.


  134. Dear Caty,

    I don’t know how you can get pregnant with a baby girl or boy. I don’t think there are any surefire ways to have a boy or girl — not any scientifically proven ones, anyway. If you were having fertility treatments, they may be able to manipulate the sex of the baby, but that’s unethical.

    Some experts say that male sperm swim faster than female sperm, but female sperm last longer in the uterus. So, the theory is that if you have sex before the egg comes, then the male sperm will die first and the female sperm will meet the egg first, and you’ll have a girl baby. However, this isn’t a surefire way to get pregnant with a baby girl. It’s just a theory, and isn’t easy to control!

    Sperm can live in your uterus a few days after you have sex. I think how long sperm lasts depends in how healthy it is, and how “hospitable” your uterus is.

    If I were you and I had a positive ovulation test, I would probably keep having sex for 3-4 days.

    I don’t know anything about the Chinese gender chart or how to use it.

    Good luck getting pregnant — I hope it happens quickly for you!


  135. M. says:

    My period was meant to arrive on the 7th of this month ( October) but on the 5th I had some brown discharges just for few hours then it stopped. The next day I started bleeding a little, and the next day which was the seven, of october there was nothing. There is still nothing at this point. Is there any possibly of me me being pregnant. I have been having regular sex and taking some filoc acid at the same time.

    Before my discharge, my nipples were very sensitive and dark, but since the discharge and the one day bleeding, the sensitivity is gone.
    I’m still getting a bit of abdominal cramps. What does this means?

  136. jonjon says:

    I’m 23 years old n have been trying to get pregent for the last 4 months…….now I also had n etopic pregency just over a year ago they had to take my whole tube out becuase it burst is there anything I can do to make it a little easier for me to get pregent or am I pretty much infertility???

  137. caty says:

    I had an ovulation home test yesterday and the day before as well, and the results for both are positive, which means that the egg will be released within 24-36 hours. based on it…i am confused about:

    Note: we’re having sex on daily bases since September 25 until now (average of 24 hours between each intercourse).

    – does having daily sex works on having a baby girl?
    – when to have sex to have a boy?
    – will the Male sperm meet the egg before the female sperm if we continue having sex?
    – does the sperm during the last days diminished or its still there?
    – if the test is positive for the past two days, when shall we stop having sex?
    – is the Chinese gender chart correct? how to exactly use it?

    many thanks

  138. caty says:

    I had an ovulation home test yesterday and the day before as well, and the results for both are positive, which means that the egg will be released within 24-36 hours. based on it…i am confused about:

    Note: we’re having sex on daily bases since September 25 until now (average of 24 hours between each intercourse).

    – does having daily sex works on having a baby girl?
    – when to have sex to have a boy?
    – will the Male sperm meet the egg before the female sperm if we continue having sex?
    – does the sperm during the last days diminished or its still there?
    – if the test is positive for the past two days, when shall we stop having sex?
    – is the Chinese gender chart correct? how to exactly use it?

    many thanks

  139. Hi Angeline,

    To determine the exact time of ovulation, you either need an ovulation predictor kit or an ultrasound from a doctor. I can’t tell you when to have intercourse based on past dates — your future ovulation depends on what’s happening in your body and environment. To predict the best time to have sex, you need to try an ovulation predictor kit or get an ultrasound.

    Yes, it is possible for ovulation to happen right around your period, or even during your period. However, I think this is rare. Again, the best way to determine ovulation is to get a predictor kit (or take your temperature, or look at your discharge).

    Yes, ovulation can happen pretty much any time during the cycle. It’s not always exactly halfway between periods…it’s USUALLY about halfway between periods, but it really depends on the woman’s body and environment.

    Some doctors say sex every day diminishes sperm quality and count, while other doctors say daily sex the week before you ovulate is the best thing when you can’t get pregnant. Here’s a recent article on that – and it includes a link to predicting ovulation!

    How Often Should We Have Sex If We’re Trying to Get Pregnant?

    No, saliva cannot harm sperm.

    I hope this helps, and wish you all the best in your journey to your first baby!


  140. angeline petegala says:


    I hope you can answer all of my questions, I am really confused and need the answers urgently please 🙁

    (1) What is the expected and estimated ovulation day based on the below period dates?

    10 July 2011
    7 August 2011
    26 August 2011
    18 September 2011

    (2) Is it possible that the ovulation happened right after the period or during the period

    (3) Is it true that some women ovulate after the period or before the next period and not half the way? I heard too many stories from women got pregnant that way and not by counting ovulation days.

    (4) Does sex everyday during the month (with skipping some days) can affect the sperm quantity and quality? and does it higher the possibility of getting pregnant?

    (5) Can oral sex and Saliva affect the sperm count or movement? I heard that it kills the sperm? is it right?

    sorry for asking too many questions, but I am confused and haven’t found any answer in the web, please i really need your help.

    Thank you for your great job.

  141. Dear Angeline,

    I’m glad to hear that you and your husband have both seen a doctor! That’s the first and best thing to do when you can’t get pregnant.

    The only thing I can tell you is that you have to be patient. It takes most couples a year on average to get pregnant, so four months isn’t actually that long. I know it feels like FOREVER, but it’s not.

    I bet you’ll get pregnant soon….just take a deep breath and try to enjoy the process of making a baby! This is a very special time in your marriage – you’ll never experience this again with your husband. Your marriage will totally change after you have a baby, so try to enjoy this time of planning, anticipation, and togetherness.

    And if you haven’t tried an ovulation predictor kit, I suggest you do so. They’ll help you figure out the best time to have sex to conceive a baby.

    Here’s an article about predicting ovulation;

    Should You Use an Ovulation Predictor Kit If You’re Trying to Conceive?


  142. Dear Mooo,

    Yes, you can get pregnant the first time you have sex, even if you have irregular periods.

    Have you taken a pregnancy test?


  143. Dear Anne,

    Are you asking me to foretell the future, to tell if you’ll get pregnant and conceive a healthy baby? Nobody can do that – not even the best fertility doctor in the world!

    I think your chances for conceiving a healthy baby are good, since you’re young. But a man’s sperm does age as he gets older. Some men don’t have sperm at all, no matter how old they are. It just depends on their health.

    It might be good for your husband to see a urologist before you start trying, or get his sperm checked. You might save yourselves a lot of wondering and disappointment if you get him checked before you start trying to conceive.

    Ultimately, the best way to know if you’ll get pregnant is to try. Remember that it takes most couples a year on average to conceive – try to enjoy the process! 🙂

    I hope you get pregnant the first month you try, and that you have four healthy babies.


  144. angeline petegala says:


    i want help with my condition

    I am married to a wonderful 34 years old man, I am 23..we are happy together and we’ve decided to establish a family together with a baby

    We are married since 4 months now and trying since the 1st day to conceive a baby.

    but no pregnancy happened till now.

    I have 26 days cycle for periods but normal hormonal changes (according to the doctor) happened to me during the last two months, please see below my periods dates for the last three months.

    10 July 2011
    7 August 2011
    26 August 2011
    18 September 2011

    I have always had a regular cycle. why i had hormonal changes? is it normal as the doctor said

    Everything is fine with my husband and the doctor said that there is nothing wrong with me too.

    So why i didn’t get pregnant? what tips do you have. shall we do intercourse day after day to increase the possibility of getting pregnant? please i need your advice.

  145. Mooo says:

    Hi, I just had sex for the first time last week, and i have irregular periods. Like i only have a few periods a year. Im just really freaked out that i could be pregnant. Im just wondering the possiblity of it actually being true.

  146. Anne says:


    I am 22 and my husband is 55. I would like to ask if we can still conceive a healthy baby, and even more babies because we want four… We will be trying this December. Since June to September, I used ECP because it’s too early for me. We are planning to conceive on December.

    Thank you so much!


  147. Dear Angeline,

    It takes most couples a year on average to get pregnant – so please don’t fret if you haven’t gotten pregnant in four months! It just takes time.

    One of the best ways to get pregnant is to make sure you’re having sex when you’re ovulating. You want the egg and sperm to meet at the exact right time.

    Here’s an article that may help:

    Ovulation Predictor Kits – The Best Way to Tell If You’re Ovulating

    If you haven’t tracked your ovulation, you should start doing so. It can make all the difference in the world!


  148. Dear Tabz,

    I’m so sorry to hear that you can’t get pregnant after 3 years…that’s so disheartening and painful 🙁

    Unfortunately, for about 33% of couples who can’t conceive, there are no explanations. That is, it’s “unexplained infertility” that causes a third of couples not to get pregnant. Doctors don’t know why they can’t conceive; there are no male OR female fertility problems.

    If you and your husband are healthy and there are no fertility issues, then perhaps you’re one of the unlucky couples who can’t get pregnant for no reason at all. I’m not saying you ARE one of those couples – so please don’t give up hope!

    I suggest getting a second opinion from a different doctor. You might also try a naturopathic physician, who may have a different set of tests and supplements to help you conceive.

    Go see another doctor – a gynecologist for you and a urologist for your husband. If he or she says everything is normal, then go to a naturopath.

    I hope this helps…and I really really hope you get pregnant!


  149. Dear lovelie,

    Yes, you should go see a doctor! It’s not just that you can’t get pregnant – it’s that chlamydia can have other health consequences that affect your health and your baby’s health.

    Before trying to get pregnant, please talk to your doctor about making sure your STD isn’t active. And, ask him or her about the best ways to get pregnant – and if you have fertility problems that need to be addressed.

    I wish you all the best!


  150. Dear Rosalie,

    Yes, it is SO discouraging to get your hopes up every month, and then get your period. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking.

    If you’ve been trying for over a year but can’t get pregnant, then you need to see a doctor. Both you and your husband should get some basic fertility tests done, to see whether it’s male or female fertility problems.

    I know it’s a drag to see the doctor – and it can be expensive if you don’t have medical insurance – but it’s far better to find out what you’re up against! Don’t keep banging your head against a brick wall; go see a doctor and find out why you can’t get pregnant.

    Let me know how it goes…I’d love to hear how you’re doing. If you’re nervous about getting a gynecological exam, let me know. I’ve written articles about it!


  151. Dear Cristina,

    I’m sorry to hear you’re having trouble getting pregnant with your second child. A friend of mine is in the exact same boat, and wants to have a second baby SO badly.

    Has your husband had his sperm checked? Have you gone to the doctor to see how your ovaries and “female parts” are functioning? You really should get checked out if you’ve been trying to get pregnant almost a year without success.

    Here’s an article I wrote for women who can’t get pregnant a second time:

    What to Do When You Can’t Get Pregnant With Your Second Child

    I hope it helps, and that you and your husband go get checked in person…and that you get pregnant fast!


  152. Hello Jesse,

    Have you tried timing your ovulation, so you’re having sex at the exact time your eggs are ready to be fertilized? There are many ways to figure that out, from taking your temperature to checking your cervical mucus (ick!) to getting an ovulation predictor kit.

    I think ovulation predictor kits are the best way to go. Here’s an article about that:

    Should You Use an Ovulation Predictor Kit If You’re Trying to Conceive?

    And, be aware that 1/3 of couples who can’t get pregnant have “unexplained infertility.” Doctors don’t always know why women can’t get pregnant – and they don’t always know why women DO get pregnant! It really is a mystery, despite all the research and advances they’ve made.

    Keep trying, my friend. Most couples DO get pregnant – it just takes some longer than others!

    About HIV; I know a couple who is adopting a baby with HIV. It’s not easily spread — and it’s definitely nothing to be ashamed of.

    I wish you all the best, and would LOVE to hear from you when you’re pregnant. Or even if you’re not 🙂

    Try timing your ovulation…and it probably wouldn’t hurt to reduce your caffeine intake (that’s what the fertility doctors told me…just one cup of coffee a day, and minimal chocolate and soda pop).


  153. angeline petegala says:


    i want help with my condition

    I am married to a wonderful 34 years old man, I am 23..we are happy together and we’ve decided to establish a family together with a baby 🙂

    We are married since 4 months now and trying since the 1st day to conceive a baby.

    but no pregnancy happened till now.

    I have 26 days cycle for periods but normal hormonal changes (according to the doctor) happened to me during the last two months, please see below my periods dates for the last three months.

    10 July 2011
    7 August 2011
    26 August 2011 🙁
    18 September 2011 🙁

    I have always had a regular cycle. why i had hormonal changes? is it normal as the doctor said

    Everything is fine with my husband and the doctor said that there is nothing wrong with me too.

    So why i didn’t get pregnant? what tips do you have. shall we do intercourse day after day to increase the possibility of getting pregnant? please i need your advice.

  154. tabz says:

    btw i have completed 8 cycles of clomid and i plan not to take anymore of it !

  155. tabz says:

    Hi ,

    Please help me im very stressed , i have been tryin for 3 years n not once i fell pregnant , docs say that i have pcos as i ovulate once in 2-3 months time although i get periods every month and in the past i had high prolactin , FSH and LH ,i also had 2 dialation and cuttrage done as i had developed a polyp twice but thankfully it was taken off. My husband has a normal sperm count. I am always trying to lose weight and my doc says that i am fine but i jus dont get it why i have neve concieved. plz help if you can . i dont drink coffee , no alcohol or smoking , yes i eat chocolote but i’ll stop that to0 for sure . plz help !! :'(

  156. lovelie says:

    hi, im 22 years old i’ve been trying to get pregnant for almost a year now but never could,last year i have an abortion it was unmedicated i didn’t see a doctor i just drink the pill and some infecttion pill then a few months later i found out i had chlamedia then i go for the pill for only 4 months then i stop taking them since then it’s been a disappointment every month when i have my period. should i go see a doctor to see if something wrong or it just not my moment to become pregnant?

  157. Rosalie says:

    My fiance and I have been trying for over a year now to get pregnant. Every month we try and get our hopes up and get them knocked down. I’m very close to just going to the doctor and asking them to do it. It wouldn’t be the same as me and my fiance making a baby on our own. I’ve taken Pregnatal Vitimins for increase fertility, have enjoyable sex and we have sex 3 times out of the week and have sex on my most fertal days. I need help and advice because we want a baby so bad and keep getting knocked down, discouraged and we’re thinking that we’ve tried everything. Please Help!

  158. Cristina says:


    Im 27 and I have a 6 year old little girl. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost a year and no luck,really stressing us out because we are both betting older. He does smoke and I have gained weight also my period the past two times have been 45days apart I need advice we want a baby so bad!!

  159. Jesse says:

    Hello its me again

    I’m not afraid to say I have HIV and like I said before everything on that is while taking care of. My husband and I both have been seen by a doctor And they say we are fine there is nothing wrong with him or me. In fact I just seen my doctor today and my husband got check at the beginning of this yr. So is there something we maybe missing?

    • kllly says:

      I am 25 and haven’t experienced period once, also I’m now married and want to get pregnant. help please

  160. Dear Jennifer,

    I have a fibroid too; I think the reason people can’t agree about whether they cause infertility is that sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t! It depends where the fibroid is, how big it is, how old it is, how it impacts your uterus, etc.

    My doctor recommended surgery to remove my fibroid, to create the “ideal circumstances” for getting pregnant. But we don’t have sperm (my husband has azoospermia), so I made the decision not to have surgery. If we had sperm, I would’ve had the surgery.

    I suggest you get your fibroids checked again; they do change in size as time goes by. Ask the doctor what he or she thinks now about surgery. Find out what the risks are for fibroid surgery (there are always risks for ANY surgery, but often they’re low).

    Also, here’s a resource that might help:

    3 Steps to Getting Rid of Fibroids Holistically

    I haven’t tried it myself.

    I hope this helps, and wish you all the best in getting pregnant sooner rather than later!


  161. Dear Rachel,

    I know it seems like you’ve been trying to get pregnant FOREVER, but it’s only been six months! It takes most couples a year to get pregnant (though some get pregnant the first time they have sex).

    Have you tried timing intercourse with an ovulation predictor kit? The best way to get pregnant is to have sex when the egg is coming down the chute – that’s when you want to send the sperm up to meet it!

    Here’s an article that may help:

    Should You Use an Ovulation Predictor Kit If You’re Trying to Conceive?

    Don’t lose hope, my friend. You’ll get pregnant eventually — most women do! 🙂


  162. Dear Sandra,

    Have you and your boyfriend been examined by a doctor? He needs to get his sperm count checked, and you need to get your ovaries and other “girly parts” checked! The only way to figure out why you can’t get pregnant is to get examined in person by a gynecologist (for you) and a urologist (for him).

    It takes most couples a year on average to get pregnant. After three years of trying, you’re definitely coping with infertility. I’m sorry – I know how frustrating and sad it is.

    Get yourselves to doctors, and see what they say, okay?


  163. Dear Jesse,

    An STD can affect your chances of getting pregnant – it depends on many factors, though (eg, the type of STD, what effect it had on your body, etc).

    Have you been examined in person by a gynecologist? That’s the best way to figure out why you can’t get pregnant, and how to proceed.

    Has your husband had his sperm checked? 33% of problems getting pregnant are because of male fertility, so it’s always good to have the guy checked out.

    Many couples can’t get pregnant the second time around. It’s very disappointing and frustrating! Getting pregnant seems so easy for some, and impossible for others…I know how disheartening it is.

    Go to a gynecologist, and get examined. That will help you figure out the next step.

    I wish you all the best in getting pregnant!


  164. Dear Jessica,

    Yes, I definitely think there’s hope for you and your husband! I don’t know how long you’ve been trying to get pregnant, but as you know it takes most couples a year on average to conceive. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how much caffeine you take, how often you drink or smoke, or how much you weigh. Other times, it does! Every couple is different, and every body is different.

    Have you tried having sex when you are ovulating? One of the best ways to get pregnant is to get an ovulation predictor kit, and time intercourse so the sperm meets the egg at the exact right time.

    Here’s an article that will help:

    Ovulation Predictor Kits – The Best Way to Tell If You’re Ovulating

    And, I think you should try to cut down on the caffeine. Can you have one cup of coffee a day, and eliminate other sources of caffeine (eg, soda pop, chocolate)? You can’t stop taking your meds, but you can cut down in other ways 🙂

    I hope this helps, and wish you all the best in conceiving your first baby!


  165. Dear Nitin,

    Have you talked to a doctor about why your wife can’t stay pregnant for more than three months? I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you what is happening with her body….she really needs to get examined in person by a gynecologist or fertility doctor.

    I wish you all the best – I hope your wife can carry a pregnancy to term very soon!


  166. Dear Divya,

    The only way to tell why you can’t get pregnant is to get examined in person by a gynecologist or fertility doctor. And, get your husband tested as well – his sperm may not be healthy. Or maybe he doesn’t have sperm at all! For many women who can’t get pregnant, it’s a sperm issue.

    Get tested in person – that’s the best way to find out why you can’t get pregnant.


  167. Dear Jane,

    I think you need to undergo those tests from your gynecologist in order to find out why you can’t get pregnant. The best way to solve the problem is to get information that is specifically related to your body, which you can’t do over the internet!

    I’m glad your fiance had his sperm checked, because problems getting pregnant are caused by poor sperm as often as by female health issues.

    Your best bet is to take those tests, and hope that they uncover a potential health issue. There’s nothing worse than “unexplained infertility”, which means that there’s nothing you can do to get pregnant! Except keep trying, of course. I think it’s better to have an actual reason for not getting pregnant, because then you can try to deal with it.

    Keep me posted on how the tests turn out. I wish you all the best.


  168. Dear Mimwe,

    Thanks for asking such an important question! Your experience puts a whole different twist on the “why can’t I get pregnant?” question.

    I wrote this article for you:

    When You Feel Guilty for Having an Abortion – How to Heal

    It includes links to articles about getting pregnant. I hope it helps, and welcome your thoughts there or here.


  169. Jennifer says:

    Ok, I have had one prior pregnancy and what was in 2005. I had an ectopic pregnancy removed in April of that year. My doctor was able to save my tube since I was only 25 and had no children. I have not been able to get pregnant since then. I am on my second marriage so I’m going to assume it is not infertility on the males part. I have uterine fibroids. I have read many different forums and there is a split decision it seems like on whether they can cause infertility. My doctor put me on lupron to shrink them and then wanted to cut me open and shave them down some more. I don’t know what I did not do it, but I was just not comfortable with that decision. That was over two years ago. I’ve read about fibroid embolism. I am at a loss of what to do. I will be 32-years-old in October. HELP!!!!

  170. rachel says:

    Hi I am 20 yrs old and my husband and I have been trying to concieve for 6 months, I’m doing everything right…we both eat right I ttc when I’m ovulating, I get regular periods every month, I’ve never been on birth control before and I just don’t understand why I haven’t gotten pregnant 🙁

  171. Sandra says:

    Hi, I am 27yrs old and I have been with my fiance for 4 yrs. We have been TTC for 3. I have a 6yr old and had an abortion 4yrs ago before I met my fiance. I am in good health, I dont smoke, I drink occasionally and im not over weight. My periods come every 29 days but a have been experiencing slight spotting (just on tissue when I clean myself) 3 days before AF. Im desperate I would love to be a mother again and I dont know what to do. My fiance is very athletic, he doesn’t smoke or drink too much caffein and we have sex on a regular basis. Today AF should arrive:(

  172. Jesse says:

    Hello I’m Jesse

    Me and my husband both 28 and we have been trying for little over a yr now. I’m married and we both have a child outside of are marriage. Period is fine or least I’m under a lot of stress than I may miss a month but that as only happen once. Now the down side to all of this is that I have a STD but I’m on medical for it and I’m doing fine no problems far as that goes. I have done just about everything there is that is affordable. What should we do. It hurts like hell when the end of the month come and my girlfriend show up. Me and my husband really want a baby in are marriage. Please help in any way u can. Thank u

  173. jessica says:

    Hi I love how you respond to peoples questions on here! Here’s my story;
    I’m 21 going on 22, about 15llbs overweight, I don’t smoke, I drink socially maybe once or twice a month but not excessively, I do however need caffine everyday! As well as I’m prone to migranes and the medication I take has caffine in it. My husband and I haven’t used protection since january, I’m not stressing about it its a ‘if it happpens it happens’ thing I’m just wondering what’s happening? Haha. I was on BC for 1 year and stopped around june 2010 due to a painful cyst that developed on my overy.(could that make me infertile?) We have sex quite regularly, if not everyday every two days including during my period (we are newlyweds and both really enjoy it! Hehe;) ) my husband does smoke however and I read that can lower spermcount, but there are so many who smoke and still reproduce without probs?? I’m starting to think it just won’t happen for us, I know we must keep trying for a year, but we’re so young? He is 23. We also did in the past frequently smoke marijuana but haven’t for over a year. Do you think there’s hope for us? All around me are happy coupples with babies and though I’m not stressing about it I would like to have my own..we are young but financially stable, and should be biologically primed for reproducing, I hope my BC didn’t permently damage my overies 🙁

  174. nitin ingole says:

    i m 30 and my wife is 34 we got married before three years. she is quite over weight. she lost 17 kgs. now she is 80 kgs. we had three miscarriges. we both dnt have any porblem. we did all the tests.
    all the three miscarrege were in three months. fetous is not carring more than three months. we both r very much fustrate. now we r planing for pregnancy. so please suggest us. wat should v do?

  175. Divya says:


    I am 23, me and my husband have trying to get pregnent from past 3 months but its not happening i have my regular periods there is no problem, but 2 yrs back i had an abortion and i used some unwanted pills also, plz help me is there any problem to get conceive.

  176. jane says:

    Hi, Really need your help. My fiance and I have been trying to conceive for about 8 months now, I have had 2 terminations in the past (both pregnancies were to my fiance), we are both healthy, I no longer smoke cigarettes,drink coffee or soda, he has thyroid problems in which they dont work so he is on medication. He was on steroids about 16 months ago but he has had several sperm tests since then and they have all come back fine now.
    I have been checking basal temperature every day to pin point the correct days to try, and am seeing my gyno but looks like i have to have a whole bunch of tests, can you think of anything ?

  177. mimwe says:


    im 21, me and my husband have trying to get pregnant but no luck, i have been pregnant before with my ex but had an abortion and now i am scared if i was cursed for doing that lol i know its crazy but i feel so bad and getting stressed about it.

    this month, my period was 3 days late and i really thought i was pregnant but had my period yesterday, and it just made me sad. i have been taking vitamins and having regular sex especially during my ovbulation time but yet no luck. is there any advice on how to conceive.

  178. Also, Danii — you’re not doing anything WRONG!

    People who don’t want to get pregnant, or crackheads and tweakers, are getting pregnant not because of things they do RIGHT. They’re getting pregnant because conception is often unexplainable and mysterious.

    Getting pregnant isn’t about doing things right or wrong. It’s about biology, and our bodies being what they are and doing what they do. It’s the same as getting a disease like cancer or a mental illness…it’s not about how we act and what we do…most of the time, it’s just random and inexplicable.


  179. Dear Danii,

    I’m sorry to hear you can’t get pregnant…3 years is such a long time to keep getting disappointed about not having a baby!

    Has your husband’s sperm been checked? Sperm problems are equally as responsible for not getting pregnant as female fertility problems. If he doesn’t have those little swimmers, you won’t ever get pregnant. His sperm may need a boost — but first you need to investigate them.

    Here’s an article about male fertility tests:

    Male Fertility Tests You Can Do at Home

    The best way to tell if you’re ovulating is to get tested by a doctor. He or she can do an ultrasound to see and even measure how many follicles and eggs you’re producing every month (or if you’re ovulating at all).

    If you’ve been to one doctor, I think it’s worth getting a second opinion.

    You might also want to try a naturopathic physician instead of a traditional MD. You never know — some of those naturopaths have been very successful at helping women get pregnant! It just depends on the reason you’re not conceiving.

    The bleaker perspective is unexplained infertility, which about 30% of why couples can’t get pregnant. Doctors don’t know what’s going on with unexplained infertility, which is almost worse than a diagnosis of no sperm or no ovulation.

    But, you have to stay positive! I know it doesn’t seem like it, but you’re YOUNG. You have time to explore your options, and even start saving money for fertility treatments.

    Here’s another article to read:

    How to Know When You Need to Find a Fertility Doctor

    I hope this helps a bit, and wish you all the best in getting pregnant fast…


  180. Danii says:

    Hi. First off, I love the advice you’ve given all the ladies prior to me so far. I have read about every link you have published above but still need some much needed advice.

    My husband and I have been married for 3 years. I am 24 (on Aug. 31) and he is 25 in Septemeber. We have been trying practically since the day we met 3 years ago for a baby. Neither one of us has ever had children; I have never been pregnant (no abortion, miscarriage,ectopic pregnancy, etc.) and either has he with anyone else. We tried the au-natural way for about a year and half expecting a BFP to show up but nothing. My periods started to get later and later each month so I went for a check up and got on Provera to ‘kick start’ my system. I also had check ups for ‘down there’ and everything came back normal. After about 6 months after Provera, I am finally on a good schedule and had Af on cycle day 25…instead of 48! My husband and I both tried Fertilaid for 3 months but saw no difference and no BFP. I just recently purchased a CBFM and am on my third cycle now. I keep hitting the second bar at about CD 14 but no peak. After a week of two bars it, it just drops down to one and then Af shows up. Am I not ovualting at all? We do drink socially from time to time but nothing excessive. My husband does smoke everyday, which I am trying to break his habit and he has been using the nictone patch and gum for three months now, on and off. He is a little over weight but not by much. We have also tried KY liquidbeads and an egg (all suggestions from other sites to increase fertility chances) as well as sperm-friendly lube. Nothing seems to be working and everyone else around me is getting pregnant on mistake or by chance :(( I am so depressed about the whole thing. What am I doing wrong? Why can tweakers and crackheads get pregnant every 9 months but I can’t fall pregnant just once? 🙁

  181. Jessica ~ I’m sorry to hear about all your problems with your period and getting pregnant. I hope you can overcome your feelings of hopelessness, and keep the faith! Don’t give up yet.

    Pahi ~ Remember that it takes most couples a YEAR on average to get pregnant! Many doctors won’t even do fertility tests until a year has passed, because it’s normal to take a year to get pregnant. So yes, I believe you can get pregnant naturally….and you’re definitely on the right track. Let me know what the fertility doctor suggests; I’m curious if he or she says keep trying to get pregnant naturally, or if he or she recommends fertility procedures.


  182. Dear Sam,

    I know just how you feel, except I’m 42!! Wait a minute – I’m only 41…..weird how I added 6 months to my age.

    Anyway, I wrote this article for you:

    Taking Too Long to Get Pregnant? 5 Different Baby Making Tips

    I hope it helps, and wish you all baby making getting pregnant good wishes!


  183. Pahi says:

    hi i am 33 and my hubby is 42. we got married 5 months back and trying for a baby for last 3 months. we have consulted a gynecologist and as per her advise i am diagnosed with insulin, thyroid, regular blood test,abdominal ultrasound etc and reports came normal. mine is 28 days mens cycle and never experienced any problem so far. 2 days back my hubby went for semen analysis and his report came as asthenozoospernia. his total count is 28.8, motility 34%, normal morphology 10%.we are going to consult a fertility doctor tomorrow. i am just curious whether i can get pregnant in natural way..

  184. jessica says:

    hello my name is jessica.I am 19 years husband and i have been marry for almost a two years now.we been trying to get pregnant for almost a year problem is that i dont get my period when i was 15 my period didn’t happen for a whole year and last year it happen again.i am very iregular with my period because of this i went to a gynecologist and he gave me a prescription for provera but i started to gain alot of weight i was a size 5 and now am a size 11 then he gave me metformin because my insulin was high but i dont have diabetes i have stop taking the medicine because they are just ruining my body and i dont know what else to do.i get really depressed because people always ask us when are you going to have a baby and its hard because i can’t get pregnant.

  185. Sam says:

    My Name is Samantha, im 20 going on 21 my Fiance and i have been trying to get pregnant for almost 2.5 years now. we both have been checked to see if everything is in working order, and we are. I mean its just getting frustrating. im to the point i just want to give up on trying. but i don’t because we really want this to happen. I guess i just need a little guidance to maybe hear other peoples suggestions that would maybe help me and my fiance so we can have a lil one of our own. I guess another reason that is so heart aching is because it seems that everyone around us that is not wanting a kid is getting pregnant, don’t get me wrong i am happy for them i really am but just frustrating to hear that everyone around us is getting pregnant.

  186. Grace ~ I think you can still get pregnant even if you had a thyroid operation, but it depends on your body and health! The best way to determine if you’ll conceive a baby is to get checked by a doctor in person.

    Tabitha ~ I’m sorry to hear about your diagnosis of PCOS. Though that can make getting pregnant a bit more difficult, it won’t necessarily stop you! Please follow your doctor’s advice, and get a second opinion. I’d also encourage you to talk to a naturopathic physician, to see what he or she says. Don’t do both treatments at once (natural fertility and conventional fertility), because they may not interact well. Instead, get a couple or three opinions and decide which route you want to take.

    Shenell ~ The first thing you need to do is QUIT SMOKING! That’s so bad for your baby and for you. Your boyfriend needs to quit smoking, too. Start taking prenatal vitamins, and think about starting a healthier lifestyle. If you lose weight and have intercourse that involves penetration, you’re more likely to get pregnant.

    Best wishes to all ladies who want to get pregnant, but can’t! May our dreams come true…

  187. shenell says:

    Hi i am. 21 years old and me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years. and we have been trying to Have a child i just start have a period at the age of 19 we both are over weight and we smoke. I never have penerate when havin sex with him but i love him and we. Still want to have a child my period lastest maybe 5 to 6 days at the most i need help please.

  188. tabitha says:

    Been married for 4 years this November and with my dear husband for 5 years we have been trying for 3 years and still nothing were even seeing fertility treatment, such as chlomid and metformin oh and hcg shots on Friday, and a big fat nothing. Last month I got the red headed dragon on the 9th, ovulated on the 24 thr 25. I was supposed to start my period on the 7 of this month and i was 2 days late and no cramping no bloating no nothing to indicate aunt flo. Then the 9 started light pink only when wiped, the the 10th spotting off and on, 11 nothing, 12 spotted again, 13 nothing then today light pink when wipped…. Now Dr. Said I have pcos, but problem with that is I have regular 28 day cycles, ovulate on the 14th day. Never ever had this happen to me never missed a period or late or a light period like this…. Plz help me Dr appointment on teusday.

  189. grace says:

    i have 10 yrs old girl since then i dint get preggy till nown i dont know what actually happen.n then i found that i have thyroid n get operation on possible that i can be preggy ornot?n im 33 yrs old now…thnx hope i can get to know about it thnx…

  190. Dear Jasmine,

    It takes most couples a year on average to get pregnant, so please don’t worry if you haven’t conceived a baby yet! It’s not always as simple as having unprotected sex.

    Irregular periods can make things more difficult. Here’s an article that may help:

    How to Get Pregnant When You Have Irregular Periods

    Balancing your hormones and getting regular periods is the first step! If you can’t get pregnant after a year of trying, then you need to see a doctor and get some fertility tests done.

    I hope this helps…and I hope you can relax when you’re trying to conceive. Try to enjoy the process — because I suspect you’ll be preggers before you know it 🙂


  191. Jasmine says:

    My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. I’m ready for marriage and children with him but I am very worried. We have unprotected sex. In the beginning I didn’t worried because it wasn’t my intention to get pregnant but now thinking about it makes me worried. I am 26 and very ready for children. My periods are very irregular and with our schedules at the most we have sex three times a month. Please help!

  192. Dear Destiny,

    Even though it seems like 3 months is a long time, you have to remember that it takes a YEAR on average for most couples to get pregnant! Some couples get pregnant when they first start trying — but by far, the majority take a year or longer.

    Also – have you tried timing intercourse with an ovulation predictor kit, so you’re making sure sperm meets egg?

    Here’s how to do it:

    How Ovulation Predictor Kits Work – Predict When You’re Ovulating

    I hope this helps, and wish you all the best as you try to conceive your baby.


  193. Destiny says:

    Why can’t I get pregnant?

    I am 22 years old my boyfriend is 35 (very healthy) we are trying for a baby it would be my first but his 3rd. We have tried for about 3 months now. Everything is normal with us according to the check lists on this site but yet nothing. Can someone please help
    Me to figure this out. It is killing me that I want a baby so bad n can’t have one but everyone around me that doesn’t want a baby are having them

  194. A new research study shows that caffeine has devastating effects on getting pregnant. If you can’t get pregnant or have male fertility problems, try cutting out ALL caffeine. No coffee, soda pop, chocolate!!

  195. Thanks for your comment, Tina! You’ve given us women who can’t get pregnant a ray of hope and faith….we mustn’t lose hope…

  196. Tina says:

    I congratulate you for posting such awesome and insightful information to help couples find help regarding getting pregnant. My heart goes out to those ladies who have commented here and are waiting to get the wonderful news that they are pregnant. Be patient and don’t lose hope. It could happen today, tomorrow or next week so don’t give up trying.

  197. Dear Jessica and Karina,

    Thank you for sharing your struggles here! I know how heartbreaking and frustrating it is when you can’t get pregnant.

    I wrote this article for both of you:

    Tried Everything to Get Pregnant, Nothing Works? The Next Steps

    Did you know that you both mentioned thyroid problems? I mention that in the article.

    I hope it helps…


  198. karina says:

    Hi, my husband and I have been married for almost 11 years and we have tried everything to get pregnant, i have thyroid problems for about 6 years and it is under control now, since then i been having a normal cycles of 29 days. 3 moths ago i started to use testing strips for ovulation and my husband found out about it and got really mad at me telling me that i should just wait for it to normally happen so i stop. My husband for about 5 months has also been taking testosterone shots every 3 weeks and now I’m at the point that i don’t know what to do we don’t have the money to see a specialist for fertility and we really would love to have children..

  199. Jessica M. says:

    Hello there! My husband and I have been trying to conceive now for nine months. I have low thyroid but it is corrected by the doctor. I have seen the doctor, and he has told me that I should not be having any problems getting pregnant. I am 23 and my husband is 24 we are both healthy and at a very healthy weight. We don’t smoke, or drink. I have a regular cycle of 28 days. I ovulate on day 14. We baby dance a lot around the time of ovulation when I am not on duty for the military. I am getting a little fustrated when AF shows up every month. Oh yeah we did an at home sperm count test too and it came back positive for 20 million or over. I have read Pregnancy Miricle and it doesn’t seem to be working for us. Any suggestiongs?

  200. Hi Mary ~ I encourage you to see another doctor! You might consider talking to a naturopathic doctor. I just wrote this article, after interviewing a naturopath about ways to treat women’s health problems so they can get pregnant.

    How Naturopathic Medicine Can Treat Uterine Fibroids in Women

    You might also see a doctor who specializes in thyroids and women who want to get pregnant. I know it’s expensive to see doctors, but it’s the best way to deal with the reasons you can’t get pregnant.

    Candace ~ I wish I had the answers for you, but I just don’t! I think you should do the same thing as I suggested to Mary: try seeing a naturopathic doctor for ways to heal without taking prescription medications that could harm you long-term or your baby. Read that article — it may surprise you to learn how holistic health can help women heal.

    Sabra ~ I encourage you to talk to a psychologist or counselor. It sounds like you’re dealing with a phobia, and you need to cope with that before it gets worse! Sometimes phobias go away, and sometimes they grow into panic attacks. Please call a counselor, or even a help line.

    Help for solving the problems that stop you from getting pregnant is out there — but you have to call doctors and counselors in person. The internet is a great source of information, but can’t go far in helping you cope with specific health problems.


  201. Saba says:

    hello.i m 29 and have a 4 years old daughter.i want to have a baby now but i have a problem.i have claustrophobia and it effects my legs.when i feel afraid,the fear attacks my legs n i feel sensations and cramp like feelings in my lower legs n feet.these symptoms also emerge when i m among strangers or crowd.i cant travel in car because i need to escape and want to go out of it.
    the thought that i will not be able to escape from the bed of the labor room n i will be stuck.
    please help me, i m not scared of the delivery pains or the whole process,but only the feeling of being stuck at the time of delivery.

  202. Candace says:

    hi, im 19 and have been thinking about me and my boyfriend having a baby of our own, my last boyfriend wanted one, we tried, but couldn’t, i’ve been taking Tylenol ones with codeine for these horrible headaches i get every day..all day, they’ve been going on for 4 years now and the doctors dont know why. and im also getting treated for depression, what could be the reason why i cannot get pregnant? help me please, and if i ever did get pregnant what could i do so the headaches would stop without me having to take harsh drugs that could hurt the baby 🙁 <3

  203. Mary says:

    Hi my husband and I have been married for two years and we were trying to have a baby but I was diagnose with thyroid and I’m on medication and my periods are so irregular some time I don’t have them in couple month and when I finally get them they just go on like a month my Dr is just keep telling me just be on that medication (levothyroxine) but I’m just frustrated. I am also taking prenatal vitamins. I would appreciated any help that you can offer. Thanks

  204. Dear Ashley,

    The good news is that it’s **only** been a year of trying — that’s how long the average couple takes to get pregnant! So, you’re normal and average 🙂 Seriously — some couples get pregnant so fast, like you know from your sister and mom. But the majority of couples take about a year.

    I think a wise next step may involve male fertility help. That is, perhaps your husband could talk to a doctor or urologist, and figure out ways to get his sperm healthy and higher in number.

    My husband went to an acupuncturist for 4 months, and drank herbal tea that had male fertility enhancing stuff in it. It didn’t work for him because he has no sperm at all, but we thought we’d try it anyway! He really liked the acupuncture because it was so relaxing.

    Acupuncture balances hormones and makes energy flow more freely, which is important for health. I’m not saying that acupuncture will raise your husband’s sperm count, but I do think a visit to a naturopathic physician can be helpful.

    In your case, I think focusing on creating healthier sperm is wise.

    You might also want to read 5 Foods That Increase Sperm Count, Production, and Motility.

    I hope this helps, and that you come back and tell me you’re pregnant!


  205. Ashley says:

    I have been trying to get pregnant for a year now. My husband has a low sperm count and some are abnormal. I had the HSG procedure and I am fine. I have regular periods. I use the ovulation kits every month. We have had IUI procedure once and it did not work. I just feel so upset and down. My sister got pregnant on the first try with both kids, my mom got pregnant on first try with all of us. I dont know whats wrong and I am beginning to feel hopeless. I know some people try for 4 years and then get pregnant, but it just seems like such a long time with so many false hopes. What should our next steps be? After intercourse I lay on my back for 20 minutes, I take prenatal vitamins, I feel that we do everything right….PLEASE HELP!

  206. Sara says:

    Laurie, Thanks for the encouragement. The fertility doctor did some basic blood work to see where my levels are at. In less than two weeks if my period doesn’t arrive I am supposed to call and he is going to perscribe me provera to restart my period hopefully. Also he wants to do a saline infusion sonohysterography after that to see if I have any polyps or fibroids to see if that is what I am spotting from. He is going to go over my ultrasound from my gyn too. The only thing that makes me kinda nervious is he said about my pituitary gland and something might be going on with it. We will have to wait and see what he wants to do next.

  207. Dear Sara,

    I’m sorry I didn’t get to your comment in time! But even if I could’ve answered before your appointment with the fertility specialist, the one thing I would’ve recommended is something you’re already doing.

    I think it’s SO important to get a second opinion, from a fertility specialist like you’re doing or another gynecologist. Different doctors have different opinions and timelines for testing for fertility — and you really need to be as proactive as possible in getting a satisfactory answer.

    In other words, if you don’t feel comfortable taking a break from trying to get pregnant, then you need to find other doctors who are willing to help you now. Don’t just listen to one doctor, and feel uncomfortable with his or her suggestions! Get a second opinion.

    How did your appointment with your fertility specialist go? Did he or she say the same thing as your gynecologist?


  208. Sara says:

    Me and my husband have been trying now for seven months to conceive. We had our little girl in May of 2009. We had one shot of depo in feb 2010 to see if that would help with my endo. Then we decided not to do the depo anymore because everything we read said not to do it if you would like to conceive in the future. I have been having abnormal periods since NOV. 2010 right around the time we were trying to have a baby. I have not had a regular period since before I conceived my daughter in aug of 2008. The gyn I have been seeing told me to take a couple of months off break and then we would try something else. I really don’t want to wait. I am going to see a fertility specialist on April 7. Kind of nervous for that and afraid he is going to tell me the same thing. Just not sure what is going on. Just wanted to get your answer to see if you would me recommend me saying anything to this fertility doctor. Thanks-Sara

  209. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hello Muhammad ~ To get help with getting pregnant, you need to talk to a doctor in person. I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you what medications to take or give you personal advice.

    But regarding how often you should try to get pregnant, here’s an article to think about:

    Hello Stephany ~ I’m sorry to hear about your little angel…that’s very sad. Heartbreaking. Sometimes, our questions never get answered…we just don’t know why some things happen.

    The average time it takes to get pregnant is one year. That means some couples get pregnant the first time they try, and others take 2 or more years. I don’t believe you’ll get pregnant “when the time is right” — sometimes it takes a lot of hard work!

    I encourage you to go to another doctor and get a second opinion. Trying to get pregnant for 4 years without success means it’s time to get tested! There’s a 33% chance it’s a female thing, a 33% chance it’s a male thing, and a 33% chance it’s some sort of mysterious fertility problem (“unexplained infertility”). I encourage you to make an appointment with a different gynecologist or family doctor, and get some fertility tests done.

    I wish you all the best, and hope you get pregnant soon.


  210. Stephany says:

    Hello, I am young woman of 23. I have asked my Doctor what was the average time to get pregnant?… he told me simply “you will get pregnant when the time is right.”

    I have been pregnant once, my pregnancy was that of a normal healthy & to the books” kind of pregnancy, that was full term, but sadly my little angel was born still. 🙁 I was very confused and determined to find out why she had passed. I was only told that most likely there was a blood clot in my placenta after a year of testing.

    I do still have the unfortunate habit of smoking, but other than that, every other answer to the questions above is no. We are a healthy couple who try more often than 3 times a week. I love children and want nothing more than to have a family but I still haven’t been able to conceive for 4 years now, & I am heartbroken.

  211. Muhammad Saqib says:


    My Name is Saqi and I have been married for 3 years. Me and my wife are still childless. Reports and ultrasounds of my wife reveal that she is perfectlt alright and her mentrual cycles are also perfect. My Semen analysis is however not satosfactory. I am suffering from Oligospermia. Sperm count is as low as 2 million/ml. Semen fluid is only 2ml produced after a coitus gap of 7 days. Pus cells are around 20 to 30%. Doctor has recommended me following:
    Gonadil F ([Optazine:40mg, Selenium (Sulphide):33mcg, Tocopherol (Vitamin E):100mg, Tribulus Terrestris:0].
    Ciprofloxacin and Vitam-E, C.
    Please suggest if this medication is ok for me and i should continue. Also, please advise should i keep mating with wife or have gaps. If gaps are required, what could be best for us. We really want a baby now and hope to get positive response from you ASAP.


  212. Friends,

    I’m sorry to hear that you’re having trouble getting pregnant, and I am so glad to hear from you! But, I can’t offer personal medical advice.

    If you can’t get pregnant, you really should talk to your doctor. Be careful about getting personal medical advice on the internet! You need to get an in-person fertility test or medical exam, and then get a doctor’s advice on how to cope with the fertility problems.

    I wish I had the answers, but I don’t…my only answer is to talk to your doctor, and get a second opinion if necessary!

    I welcome your experiences and thoughts, and hope you come back and let me know how you’re doing.


  213. Angelica says:

    Hi, I was on the pill Lo Ovral for 4months before trying to get pregnant and now that I’ve stopped using it for two months now my pregnancy tests are negative… I really want a baby I do have 28 day cycles and 5 day periods, my husband and I dont use any protection and have sex everyday. What should I do? What kind of test should we perform? I’m 22 years old I’ve been with my Husband for 5 years 6 months married and before using Lo Ovral I used OTC- Lo for about 2 years I stopped for one year because my husband joined the army and then started on the 4 months of Lo Ovral. Please Help

  214. ace says:

    hi im 27 years old and was diagnosed with pcos when i was 19. ive been going through fertility treatment since the age of 22 and up until now have never responded to the treatment. i am on ovulation induction treatment and up until 2 months ago never ovulated, so last month and this month i responded really well and ovulated but i havent fallen pregnant is this normal to not fall pregnant while ovulating and having timed intercourse? although im very happy that my body is finally responding to the treatment im also worried and frustrated that im still not pregnant its been about 5 years of trying now my husband is perfectly normal its only me with the problem

  215. nicole says:

    hola le cuento que estoy muy preocupada tengo 19 años y mi marido 23 hace 5 años estamos juntos y hace 2 años que estamos buscando un bebe y no hemos tenido exito alguno pero lo peor que en el pais que vivo no te hacen ningun estudio de fertilidad hasta loos 25 años eso es muy debastador ya que tenemos muchas ganas pero la verdad no nos quedan esperanzas mis siclos no creo que afecten xq los tengo anotados se cuando ovulo eso esta todo bajo control pienso que capas tenga quister en los ovarios xq me duelen mucho mucho cuando tengo el periodo los 2 primeros dias tengo que tomar analgesicos y eso capas sea el problema.necesito ayuda porfavor muchas gracias.

  216. Laken says:

    Hi, i am 19 years old me and my bf have been together for 3 years now we have been haveing unprotected sex for 2 years and i got pregnat one time but i had a miscarrage. We dont smoke and we dont drink. I have gone into a shell im so sad all the time. I just dont know what to do and neither of us have health insurance to check our fertility. Were both healthy, i have just lost all hope idk what to do! any advise?

  217. Dear Ashley,

    I think the first, most important thing to consider is the fact that your boyfriend doesn’t want children! What if you do get pregnant, and have to raise your baby alone? What if your boyfriend doesn’t want the child around, and isn’t nice to it?

    Before you get pregnant, I believe you need to be in a committed, stable, happy relationship in which BOTH partners want to have a baby.

    That said, however, you may want to talk to a doctor about why your periods are irregular. Maybe you can’t get pregnant for health reasons. The best way to find out is to get checked out by a doctor. When you learn why your periods are irregular, you may be able to regulate them…and you may then have an easier time getting pregnant.

    I wish you all the best,

  218. Ashley says:

    Plus I Have Irregular Periods!

  219. Ashley says:

    Hello me and my boyfriend have been together for the last 6 years and a month into the realtionship believe it or not new we were in love , actually i new it was love at first sight , well anyways I want a baby and he wants a Baby and we havent used any protection since we’ve been together and we still till this day cant get pregnant! I aked him if he would go with me to go and get check out but don’t want to because he said he got a girl pregnant at the age of 15? So i dont know what to do any more, I’m 26 yeahs old and he is 28 years old he also tells me here he dont want kids because he is still one himself but everytime we have sex he never pulls out and does it in there…. Do you think there could be something wrong with me..Imean he did say he got a girl pregnant at 25 but she lost it? What should I Do

    Please Help I really want my own child cause i would never beable to adopt one , casue i wouldnt beable to afford it 🙁 and i cry every day because i might never beable to have one :”(

  220. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Claire,

    Yes, I think you should talk to a doctor. The medications you’ve taken and perhaps are taking can affect your menstrual and ovulation cycle, which may be why you can’t get pregnant. The doctor may suggest that you wait for the medications to clear out of your system before you get pregnant — some prescription medications can have an unhealthy effect on unborn babies.

    An in-person doctor’s exam is the best way to figure out why you’re not getting pregnant.

    I wish you all the best!


  221. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Stephanie,

    I don’t know how long you’ve been trying to get pregnant for, but if it’s been over a year, I encourage you and your fiance to talk to a doctor. It’s really hard to say why you’re not getting pregnant, especially since you’re so young and you already have a child!

    If you’ve been trying to get pregnant for over a year, make an appointment with your doctor or gynecologist. If it’s been less than a year, start tracking your ovulation to find your most fertile times, and have sex when your egg is coming down the chute.

    I hope this helps; sorry I don’t have a concrete answer for you!


  222. Claire_E says:


    I am 18, I suffer from ulcers in the colon and that causes me to lose blood very often I was on prednisoline on/off for around 18 months on top of various other medication like, omeprozole, buscopan… for my depression from the age of 15 I have been on various medication from fluoxetine, respiridone & citalopram… I have had my appendix out for which they removed even though afterwards they realised it was not necessary, I have been trying for 14 months to get pregnant with the same partner, we live together and try 3 times a week, 2 times at the least… he has had a daughter before so I know it aint him so what is wrong with me is it because of my medical past or should I seek further help ???

  223. Stephanie_Brooks says:

    I’m only 22 and I have a 5 year old fiancé and I have been together for about 5 years and he also has a 3 year old son from a previous relationship. Well now that my daughter is 5 we’ve been trying for another child. I grew up really close to my siblings and that’s the way I want my children to be..needless to say we’ve been trying for awhile now to no success. I’m starting to get worried and disappointed. Its taking a toll on me because I really want to have another child and nothing has happened as of yet. Any advice??

  224. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Talia ~ If you haven’t seen a naturopathic doctor yet, I encourage you to give it a try! Acupuncture is known to improve blood flow to all parts of your body and open blocked energy, which can help you get pregnant.

    It sounds like you’re one of those “unexplained infertility” couples. That’s difficult to cope with, because you have nothing to fix or solve! My heart goes out to you…it’s hard enough not getting pregnant, without knowing why you’re not getting pregnant.

    Brooks ~ Thanks for sharing your story here, and for telling us what helps you get through those moments of despair and hopelessness.

    Blessing on you both,

  225. Brooks says:

    I understand exactly how you feel. I have been TTC for seven years as well and my husband and I have no medical issues, etc. I, too, have my moments of deep despair and feel hopeless. I feel that way right now, but when I get this way, I pull out a book called A Bend in the Road by David Jeremiah and I am encouraged to move on. You may want to read it. But, it is okay to feel the way you feel and you should honor your feelings. I wish you the best and stay encouraged.

  226. Tallia says:

    I have been tring to get pregnant for 7 years. Both me and my husband have been tested and everything has come back normal. Any suggestions? No excess stress, not overweight, no medical issues…I am losing hope. Please help.

  227. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Kristin ~ I’m sorry you’ve been trying to get pregnant for 2 years, with no luck. That’s so disheartening, especially if you can’t afford to pay for the high cost of infertility treatments! Even if you have free clinics in your area, I’d be surprised if they offer fertility treatments.

    I’m afraid I don’t know what to suggest if you can’t talk to a doctor. Losing weight and quitting smoking would be HUGELY helpful…and you don’t need money to do those things! Maybe you could put your cigarette money towards possible fertility treatments in the future. That may help you quit smoking!

    I wish you all the best.


  228. kristin says:

    hi my name is kristin me and my husband have been trying for a baby for 2 years now i have no insurance and cant offord a doc we dont have free clinics were im at well i cant seem to get preg i have been to docs my whole life and they never once said i couldnt get pregnant but i dont have regular periods i do smoke im trying to quit and i am over weight i dont seem to be ovulating or maby i am i just dont get that slimy stuff idk but i am scared to death that i cant have children i dont know what to do i am staying hopefull but can someone talk to me about this i would sure appreciate it my email is [email protected] thanks so much

  229. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:


    It sounds like your wife is confused, and you’re both disappointed that you can’t get pregnant. I understand; it’s a very sad, frustrating place to be.

    If she doesn’t want to go through infertility treatments, then of course you can’t force her. That’s her choice. She wants to have a baby, but doesn’t want to “move heaven and earth” to get pregnant — and that includes not wanting to go through the medications and pain of treatments like in vitro fertilization.

    Have you and she read books about getting pregnant, infertility, or fertility treatments? The more information you both have about getting pregnant, the more equipped you’ll be to figure out what to do. Right now, you’re both coping with alot of unknowns (can she get pregnant? is your sperm count too low to get her pregnant?).

    These unknowns make it very difficult to move forward in life. So, I encourage you to learn about getting pregnant from basic pregnancy books. Then, you and your wife need to decide if she will see a doctor, to get some basic fertility tests done. Just the basic tests — not infertility treatments or anything too complicated.

    If she doesn’t want to do that, then what can you do? Not much. You need to decide if you want to choose not to have children and stay married. If you do that, I encourage you to get counseling to make sure you don’t resent her or become bitter about how this unfolded.

    You might also look into adopting children, or fostering them. Having biological kids is a miracle and a gift, but sadly not everyone gets to experience it. But, infertile couples can still have loving families!

    I hope this helps, and wish you all the best.


  230. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:


    The first thing you need to do is talk to a doctor, and get fertility tests for both you and your partner. Maybe there’s a problem with getting pregnant; maybe not. The only way to know for sure is to talk to a doctor.

    And, remember that it could be a male fertility problem. It’s just as likely that it’s your partner who is having sperm problems, as it is that you’re having ovulation or hormone problems. If you can’t get pregnant or your partner can’t conceive a baby, it doesn’t make you or him less deserving of love! Infertility is just a medical condition. Sometimes infertility can be overcome, sometimes not. There are other ways to have a family together.

    So, your first step is to see a doctor. And, you remember that the ability to have children does NOT make you a better person!

    Let me know how it goes with the doctor. Make sure your partner gets tested for sperm or fertility issues, too.


  231. stephen says:

    Me and my wife been married for 8 years, been trying to have a baby for 9 years. My wife had irregular period and was put on the birth control pills for 2 years to reguate her period. She been off the pill for about 4 years now, since her period is regular. Yet still no luck. 3 years ago got my self check out and was ok. But since I join the Army my spirm count is low. I suggest to my wife to see the fertility doctor. My wife said no! she does not want to take the meds, or the precedures. She is saying why she have to go through all the pain and meds, and I dont have to. Also, she dont know what she would do if she finds out that she cant have baby. I just dont know what to do. I want to have a baby very much. I even told her it is very important to have a child of my own before we got married. Now, she is getting pressures from her family about when will we have a baby. What can I do? I assure her that I love her no matter what. Yet, she cries when she has her period or the preg test comes neg. I dont know what I can do for her. If she is not will to see the fertility doctor together. I am at a dead end, and lost.

  232. Jade says:

    Hi there,
    im 20 years old and my partner is 21 we are in a very good place in our lives and have been together for 4 years now we have been ttc and having unprotected sex for about 2years on and off i have not taken the pill for about 2.5years and we have still not concived. do you think there could be a problem? neither of us are under stress but i do smoke. i ma really worried about this as there has been alot of problems in my family with conciving. every time i see my friend with there children i brings tears to my eyes and i dont know if i can cope anymore.I dont feel like i deserve my partner if i cant have his children

  233. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Dominicanprincess,

    The best way to find out if you can’t get pregnant because of you or him is to take some fertility tests, after you’ve been trying to conceive for a year. It takes most couples a year, on average, to get pregnant — even young couples like yourselves.

    An at home male fertility test is a simple way to find out if he’s having sperm issues. Read Home Male Fertility Test – Is My Sperm Count Too Low? for more info.

    Good luck getting pregnant — it WILL happen, but you just have to persevere and learn as much as you can about staying healthy before and during pregnancy.


  234. dominicanprincess says:

    Hey I’ve had one abortion 2 yrs ago and I’ve been trying to get pregnant ever since my boyfriends 26 never had a kid and im 21 perfectly fit and everything we have a lot of sex iwhen im ovulating um he’s just a smoker and he took his appentix out do u know if its just maybe him?

  235. Laura says:

    Me and my boyfriend have been having sex for about 2 years without a condom. And not once have i have been pregnant. Recently he told me got another woman pregnant, however they used a condom and did not even finish. So now I think there may be something wrong with me and I won’t be able to have kids. I just think it’s weird how she gets pregnant so easy and I cant even come close to getting pregnant.

  236. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Mizz C ~ My best advice is to talk to a doctor — especially if you’ve been trying to get pregnant for more than a year! And if you haven’t tried charting your ovulation, make sure you try that every month.

    I just wrote an article about what to do when you can’t get pregnant – I hope it helps!

    Trying to Get Pregnant? Tips for Conceiving a Baby

    Gazzy ~ I have the exact same advice for you — except to add that you should get a second opinion! Both of you need to get the fertility tests done that I mention in the above article. A brief look won’t show the same problems as the medical tests do.

    Read the article — it’ll give you a series of steps to take. And go to a doctor who can help you get pregnant!

    Best wishes,

  237. Gazzy says:

    Hey There, me and my girlfriend have been tryin for a baby for little under a year now and nothing seems to happen, her periods keep stopping and starting, she gets bad mood swings and cant control her hormones, we have been to see a doctor they had a brief look into her womb to make sure all her bits and bobs were in the same place and they say that every thing is fine and she is not already pregnant, we are also currently trying to stop smoking but are still going out drinking once a week, what can we do to increase our chances of fertility??? Please help, having a baby would mean the world to me and my girlfriend

  238. Mizz C. says:

    Hi! I was wondering if anyone could help. Me and my partner are both 23, and have been trying to concieve for over a year! We are both fit and well, but still no baby 🙁
    Its starting to get us down now. My periods are not so regular, but every time my periods are late i think im pregnant but im not 🙁

    Any advice would be appreciated!! xx

  239. susan says:

    Hey TTC ladies!
    Believe it or not, my husband and I tried to conceive for more than 2 years. We tried to refrain from sex for days and even weeks but it didn’t help.
    Worst part is, there were empty hopes – I thought I was pregnant but in the end I wasn’t. It’s really frustrating and I understand that.
    I was in Yahoo Answers and in this section quite some time ago and I ask a question similar to yours and a person recommended me a book. It’s entitled ” Pregnant Miracle”. I swear it’s like a gift from God!
    It teaches stuffs like the seven things you need to do before even you try to get pregnant to ensure a healthy pregnancy; the appropriate diet to conceive; how to increase your husband’s sperm count; the ovulation cycle and many others!
    I am already having my 4th child now! I really recommend that you try reading this book out. Also, they are currently giving free bonus books like fertility secrets and choosing your baby gender! It’s for a limited time only!
    Learn more about it here:

  240. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Sureka,

    It’s difficult to say why you haven’t gotten pregnant yet! Some women get pregnant after having sex once, while others try for years and don’t get pregnant.

    So, if the timing was right and you and your husband are both healthy, then you technically could get pregnant even if you only had sex once. But of course the more you do it, the higher your chances are!

    Keep enjoying your intimate times together when he’s home. You might think about seeing a doctor if you’ve been trying for more than a year or if you have problems with your period.

    I wish you all the best,

  241. sureka says:

    me and my husband r tryin to conceive, but the problem is we couldnt b together for more than 1-2 months, coz he works in ship and every 5 months he’s back at home. almost for 6 cyclesi’ve been trying to get pregnant, but all those tries are not continuous since he’l b with me for 1 or 2 months only..doctors said i dont have any problem in my health as all the test results are good..i’ve tried it even at the time of ovulation and i could try it for only 2 months and then it comes a 5 months gap b/w us.but stil i couldnt become little stressed only after this issue..wat could b the reason, is it coz my husband and me r not being together regularly

  242. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Victoria,

    I know how hard it is to keep seeing that negative pregnancy test! Trying to get pregnant and not succeeding is so frustrating and disappointing.

    Since I don’t know what you’ve already tried, I don’t know what to suggest. Here’s an article that reviews all the basic steps for getting pregnant:

    How to Get Pregnant – 10 Ways to Maximize Your Chances of Conception

    If you’ve done all those things, it might be time to your family doctor….

    Wishing you all the best,

  243. Victoria says:

    My husbad and I been married for a year now but bee together for 3. We are trying for a baby,and hae seen our doc,went on a diet,taken vitamns and more. He already has a kid with his ex wife and for some reason now we cant get pregnant.. Is there anthing else we can do or try before seeing a fertility doctor? It has been maken me soo emotional seeing that Negative on the pregnancy test..

  244. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Cassie,

    The first thing you need to do is see a regular doctor! There might be something simple that’s preventing you from getting pregnant. You may not need to see a fertility specialist or go to an infertility clinic — sometimes just a physical checkup is all a woman needs.

    The second thing I suggest is to try to take a step back from your desire to get pregnant. I know how much you want a baby, but there are other ways to have a fulfilling life without actually giving birth to your own child. Don’t give up hope — it takes many women a long time to get pregnant! But, I encourage you to be open to other options. Having a baby is wonderful, but it’s not the only way to have a happy, meaningful life.

    Please take the first step, and talk to a general physician. Be as honest you can about your past, so she or he can help you get pregnant!

    I hope this helps, and I wish you all the best.


  245. cassie says:

    me and my husband have been together for 4 years and we really want a baby im very scared that i cant because of all the drugs i used to do,and yes i did stop doing those drugs about a year and a half ago.also i have gull stones and im a little over weight, i dont exercise very much but i do a little. i have very weird periods sometimes it will be every other month and sometimes it is every 3 or 4 months. we have sex regularly and every time i ovulate sometimes 3 times a be honest we just dont have the money to go see a fertality specialist and i dont have a regular doctor. i just dont know what to do any more. all i know is it will kill me if i cant have a baby because thats all i want out of life and i cant have it. can anybody help me before i fall into a deep depression?

  246. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Brianna,

    Yes, an ovulation predictor kit can be very helpful in getting pregnant.

    Here’s some information:

    Ovulation Predictors – How to Plan the Best Time to Get Pregnant

    And, if you’re still not pregnant in about four months, you should consider talking to your doctor.


  247. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Beth,

    I’m sorry to hear that you can’t get pregnant — and I’m surprised that your doctor advised you to keep trying for two years! Most doctors say if you can’t get pregnant after a year, you should get a fertility workup.

    So, I suggest you get a second opinion. Find another doctor, and ask if you can get tested for the basic obstacles to fertility. Take it one step at a time — and don’t forget to get your partner’s sperm checked!

    I wish you all the best, and hope you can stay positive and optimistic. It helps.


  248. Brianna B says:

    Hi there,

    My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years.. and within the last about 6 months, we have been trying for a baby.. his mother says that his father had problems with his sperm dying right away and that he had to eat oysters to fertalize it…. now my boyfriend is allergic.. and its beginning to upset the both of us.. I haven’t been on birth control for over a year, we never use protection and I sometimes lay on my back with my legs in the air after intercourse.. I don’t know if we are trying too hard, if I should try an ovulating test or what? Advice would be appreciated.

    Thanks :/

  249. Beth says:


    I have been trying for a baby for nearly 10 months now, my husband and I are both 28, we are healthy, don’t smoke and have regular intercourse including the days when i think i am ovulating. I just don’t know what we’re doing wrong and it’s really started to get us down now. I did speak with my doctor about it a couple of months ago and he said that I should only really worry when it’s been 2 years but I can’t wait that long! I was on the pill since I was 17 since i’ve stopped taking it my periods have got a lot lighter and shorter, i hope I don’t have something wrong with me, I need some advise, I don’t know what more to do!!

  250. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi yayalove,

    Have you talked to your doctor? You really need to find out why you can’t get pregnant — and get a fertility checkup and maybe some infertility tests.

    Here’s an article that might help:

    Unexplained Infertility – 6 Steps When You’re Not Conceiving a Baby

    And I’m so sorry to hear your marriage might be at risk. Sometimes infertility or trouble getting pregnant can really mess couples up. Here’s an article about marriage and infertility:

    Tips for Couples Coping With Not Getting Pregnant

    But, it takes two to save a marriage….your husband has to be as hopeful and ready to work on your marriage as you are — regardless if you get pregnant or not.

    I wish you all the best. Please go see your doctor, and find out if anything is medically stopping you from getting pregnant. Then, you and your husband must take it from there — one step at a time.


  251. yayalove says:

    my husband and i have been together for 5years now and we both want a baby but am not able to concieve and am getting since he is running out of patience along with his families.i had pelivic infection before but it was cheated.please help me before my marriage crush

  252. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Congratulations, Julz!! 🙂 You must be over the moon; I’m very happy for you.

    Happy baby name hunting!

  253. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Shenea and Kyle,

    I doubt that how long intercourse lasts makes much of a difference — but a fertility doctor would be the right person to ask.

    If you’ve been trying for over a year and haven’t gotten pregnant, then your best best is to talk to a fertility specialist. And I think you know that smoking decreases fertility levels!

    That’s great that you’ve taken an at-home fertility test, but it may not be as accurate as the bloodwork and internal exams that a fertility doctor would do. And, your fiance should probably get his sperm tested, too…..after all, about 33% of not getting pregnant is because of the male (and about 33% is the female, and about 33% is “unexplained infertility”).

    So, get thee to a fertility doctor and ask for some fertility tests. Both of you!

    And, have you tried predicting your ovulation and timing your intercourse so it happens right when the egg is coming down the chute?

    Here’s an article that may help with getting pregnant — it discusses timing and ovulation:

    Ovulation Predictors – How to Plan the Best Time to Get Pregnant

    I wish you all the best — let me know how things go with the fertility doc!


  254. Julz says:

    Hi Laurie,

    Just a quick update on my pregnancy. I went to my appointment yesterday and my hCG levels went from 72, 137, to 1736. Dr. told me that the pregnancy is going very well and that he is no longer concerned. Im excited and happy that everything is getting better. The Dr. suggested an ultrasound but we were unable to see the baby. He said not to worry…it was probably too early.

    Thank you for your support and help 🙂 Now, the only things im searching on the internet are baby names 😛


  255. shenea says:

    Me and my fiance have been trying to have a baby since last april which is now a little over a year. We have sex atleast two times a week and yet nothing. We are both very healthy… He does smoke though. I know this is an odd question but we often have pretty quick sex. Im sure this wouldnt make a difference but im just wondering. I have not yet gone to a doctor about it. But it is stressful for both him and I that we are not able. I have taken an at home fertility test and it did say i am fertile.. Do you have any advice for us?
    Thank you,
    Shenea and Kyle

  256. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Julz,

    What a scary time this is for you! I’m so sorry to hear things aren’t progressing smoothly.

    First, you have to try to calm down. Feeling stressed and anxious and scared is not good for you or your baby — and your feelings won’t make things better. Don’t put your body under more stress than it already has.

    Second, I encourage you to stop reading about hCG on the internet! Nobody in cyberspace can tell you if your baby will survive. And, you may be not be finding the good news stories — because not every woman in your situation has shared her experience.

    Wondering, fearing, and being anxious about the future is so unhealthy. I encourage you to stop trying to find the answers to your future on the internet. Seeking support and asking questions is great — but don’t apply other women’s experiences to your own pregnancy. Does that make sense?

    Only time will tell if your baby will survive. You need to find that place in you that can accept whatever the future brings. You are a strong, healthy, powerful woman who can handle the blood work — and the results of that blood work!

    If this baby isn’t meant to be yours, the next one will. Take a deep breath, and focus on things that bring you happiness and pleasure. Stay off the internet — stop obsessing about things you can’t control — and try to spend good quality time with your family and friends.

    I know how hard it is, but you need to put the future where it belongs: in the future. Focus on this moment, this hour, and this day. Find PLEASURABLE things to do so you can maintain a sense of peace, empowerment, and happiness!

    Let me know how things go….

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.


  257. Julz says:

    Hi Laurie,

    I have a couple questions to ask you when you have time, I took two tests which immediately came back positive. I went to the clinic to confirm the pregnancy and the urine test came back negative. I was very confused and the Dr. told me that my test was most likely more sensitive in detecting the pregnancy hormone than his. He told me that a blood test would confirm the pregnancy for me. I went to the Emerge and took blood work. I started having excruciating abdominal pain which I had experience with my first pregnancy. They were very concerned and they were not telling me everything that I should know. The blood work came back positive. However the hCG levels were very low for 4 weeks and a couple days. My hCG was at 72 and the Dr. refused to send a referral to my previous OBGYN since they only accept referrals. I was upset, it seems like the Dr. doesn’t think the baby will survive. He kept talking about ectopic pregnancies and miscarriages. He scared me to death. I have an appointment at the Emerge on Sunday for more blood work to see if my hCG levels have increased. I couldn’t help but going to the clinic again and demanding more blood work. I called the office and within one day since my last blood test, my hCG levels are at 137. I do not have any bleeding. Do you think my hCG levels are increasing at a good rate? I have searched the internet and every site I came across had devastating information. I have no one to talk to since I will not tell everyone in my family that I am pregnant if I will miscarry :'(


  258. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:


    I’m so happy to hear that your pregnancy test is positive! That’s very exciting….I wish you a healthy and happy pregnancy…


  259. Julz says:

    Dear Laurie,

    I recently sent you a msg regarding my negative pregnancy tests. I took a pregnancy test yesterday on the second day of my missed period and it came back POSITIVE 🙂

    Thank you for all your support and hope. I realized that I tested too early 🙂

    Thanks again!

  260. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Julz,

    I’m very sorry that you’re having so much trouble getting pregnant…it’s such a heartbreaking, frustrating thing when you can’t get pregnant!

    If you’re not pregnant (and even if you are), your best bet is to talk to your family doctor — even better, get examined by an OBGYN. I don’t know what all your symptoms mean, and only a doctor who examines you can tell you if the scarring and first birth will affect your second baby.

    Please take a deep breath and believe that you WILL get pregnant again. It’s just a question of timing, and not being so anxious and stressed that you prevent your body from doing what it naturally wants to do!

    Maybe you should wait a few days before taking another pregnancy test. It sounds like you’ve taken several…and since they’re all negative, it may not be your time to get pregnant yet. Maybe you could focus on de-stressing, focusing on hope and patience and faith that you WILL get pregnant when the time is right.

    Think about quitting smoking, which seems relaxing but actually increases your blood pressure and heartrate. Get as healthy as possible, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

    I wish you all the best — and can’t wait until you come back and tell me you’re pregnant! 🙂


  261. Julz says:

    Hi, I am 22 years old and I need some advice. We have been trying to conceive and it seems like nothing is happening. My menstrual cycle is often irregular and sometimes they become regular. After I gave birth to my son, my menstrual cycle has been irregular at times. Usually, I am 1 week late and occasionally, my periods may not even arrive for a month. I have been trying to keep track of my cycle too identify if I have a specific pattern. My son is 1 years old and I don’t think that pregnancy was the cause to my irregular cycle since stress is most likely the cause. Last 1st day of my period was on June 4th, fertile days was estimated to be around the 14th of June and ovulation on the 18th. I am not on any form of birth-control due to a heart disease and blood clots. Unprotected intercourse took place on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 22nd, and 24th of June. I have done numerous pregnancy tests in the last couple days and they all came back negative. First Response 5 days sooner was taken (on the 28th) since my period should be arriving around the 2nd of July or possibly later. With my first pregnancy, my first test came back negative and 1 week later, a second test came back positive. As of today, I do feel pregnancy symptoms. I do understand that these symptoms may only be my period that is due to arrive soon. I feel unwell, I have abdominal cramping, constipation on and off, and my breasts seem to be larger than usual. With my first pregnancy, I was very sick throughout the day for 4-5 months, I had diarrhea, and sever cramping. Seems like my symptoms are slightly different. I also notice a creamy discharge in the past couple days. Is this an indication that I never ovulated? Could I still be pregnant? When should I be taking a pregnancy test again, or should I just go to a clinic and have blood work completed? I hope that I am not infertile! With my first pregnancy, we had numerous complications. The heart rate was dropping at significant rates on each appointment and my son’s growth was very slow. Dr’s told me not to get excited and wait before telling everyone the news (waited until I was 5 months). I had frequent ultrasounds in the first trimester to find the baby since they could not find him until the second trimester as well as the heart rate which was around week 9. My son was very healthy and big when I had him, but the Dr’s did fear an early miscarriage. I also fear that giving birth to my son caused some of the problems. The Dr had to use forceps and I had stitches inside out and everywhere on the outside. I also have lots of scarring in my vaginal canal. I just want to know if the chances of pregnancy is high or not. I am not overweight nor am I underweight. I do smoke but I am healthy otherwise. I took a test today :'( It was negative again…Hopefully I tested too early again! I just can’t stop crying!

    Thank you for your time

  262. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Maysee,

    I’m sorry to hear you’re having trouble getting pregnant. Unexplained infertility is so difficult to cope with.

    I don’t know if the stress and hair loss will stop you from getting pregnant, but I encourage you to talk to a different doctor. Getting a second opinion can change your diagnosis from “unexplained infertility” to something more tangible. And if you can get a more specific diagnosis, then you’re in a better position to deal with the cause of your not getting pregnant.

    So, I recommend two things: 1) find a second fertility doctor and get a second opinion; and 2) try to find ways to cope with the stress of not getting pregnant.

    If you need tips on coping with stress, let me know!


  263. Maysee says:

    My husband and I have been trying to baby for 6 yrs. I have been doing some treatment. I have a regular period every month. My doctor first told me that I may not be ovulating. And we have tried pills called clomid for two cycle. It still didn’t work. Then now he did some other test and said that everything is normal. He’s now telling me that I’m unexplain. He wish he could tell me what’s wrong. But he don’t have the answer. I have been loosing hair due to stress and I have DHT hair loss. Will this effect me from getting pregnant?

  264. Hi Ange,

    Remember that it takes most couples about a year to get pregnant (on average). You’ve only been trying for four months, which means you have at least another eight months to go, before you should start getting fertility tests!

    Your time is NOT running out fast. You have at least 15 years of healthy child bearing years — if not more. Stress, fear, anxiety, and desperation won’t help you get pregnant, my friend. On the contrary, it may disrupt your hormones and make getting pregnant even more difficult.

    I have to resort to the time-tested cliche: relax and enjoy your attempts to get pregnant. Seriously. Stay calm, happy, peaceful, and positive that you WILL get pregnant when the time is right. Avoid those fearful, negative thoughts.

    Let me know how it goes — I’ll be waiting! 🙂


  265. ange says:

    hi there,
    my boyfriend and i have been together for a year and a half and for the most part we were using the ‘pull out’ method. but within the last 4 months we have been trying for a baby. We know it cannot be him because he already has a 9 month old baby so it must be me right?
    I smoke cigarettes and drink on weekends and he does have the odd ‘smoke’. We have regular sex too and my periods are somewhat regular and we have been trying to time things right but at the moment nothing seems to work, does anyone have any answers for me? Im 24 and so is he so at the moment im feeling like my time is running out fast, please help.
    Thank you,

  266. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Yes, Heather, you should definitely get a second opinion! I just wrote a blog post on unexplained infertility, and my research showed me that some “unexplained infertility” is really just “undiagnosed or misdiagnosed infertility.”

    If you haven’t gotten pregnant after three years, I encourage you to talk to a fertility specialist. In the article I just wrote, I list several fertility tests for both men and women.

    Here’s the article:

    Unexplained Infertility – 6 Steps for When You’re Not Conceiving a Baby

    Good luck — let me know how it goes!


  267. Heather says:

    My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 3 years without luck. I am 33, had been on the pill for 15 years prior to this. I have painful, ongoing, heavy periods. My OBGYN does not seem to worried about endometrios. I, on the other hand, am not so sure thats not the problem. Should I get a second opinion. I feel like the clock is running out of time for us. He also had had a sperm test done—normal. I had a hysterosalpingogram done—normal. Any suggestions?

  268. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Melissa,

    It takes different women different lengths of time to get pregnant, depending on their bodies, lifestyle, and medical history. And, it also depends on their partners sperm count and motility!

    You might want to think about getting the most basic fertility tests done…if you need more information about those tests, let me know, and I’ll paste the link here.

    .-= Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen´s last blog ..7 Cheap Ways to Lose Weight and Save Money on Your Workouts =-.

  269. Jessie Leigh says:

    Ashley K, I’m with you. I also have endometriosis and PCOS. My boyfriend and I have tried for a while now to have a baby. It doesn’t make it any better that I have had 7 previous miscarriages. Don’t lose hope. It will happen with patience and hope. Try being with your lover every other day, especially while you are in your ovulation window. It will happen for you, and for me, just believe it.

  270. Melissa says:

    My Boyfriend and I have beeen together now for about 3 years. We have been trying for about one and a half. I have a regular period, see doctors, and never been on birth controll. Does it usually take this long? Am I missing something? Any input?

  271. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Nena ~

    I’m sorry to hear that not being able to get pregnant is having such a negative effect on you and your husband’s relationship. It’s very stressful when you can’t get pregnant, and it affects relationships in many ways.

    Here’s an article I just wrote yesterday, about infertility and marriage:

    Infertility and Relationships: How to Keep Your Marriage Strong When You’re Trying to Get Pregnant

    It links to other articles about love and inferility. I hope they help. Also, you need to remember that specific couples need specific advice because they’re handling their situation in different ways. That is, I can’t tell you how to save your marriage, because it depends on you, your husband, and how you interact. I’m sorry….but the suggestions in the article might help.

    Dear Amy ~

    Most couples take a year on average to get pregnant. I think most doctors advise allowing the pill to clear the body for three (or so) months before trying…which means it may only be about three months since you started to get pregnant!

    I don’t know if that pill will affect your chances of pregnancy, because it depends on your body and lifestyle. If you haven’t gotten pregnant by late fall, I’d suggest going to your doctor and asking for a fertility workup.

    And don’t forget about your partner! Male sperm (or lack of it, or unhealthy sperm) is responsible for about 33% of infertility. It’s not all about the woman.

    I hope this helps and wish you all the best.


  272. amy says:

    hiya wondering if anyone can help,i was on the pill femodend for 16yrs came off it at the end of december 2009,still not pregnant,is the reason cos i was on the pill for so long and also ive got alot of stress in my life as well

  273. nena says:

    i have been trying to get pregnant for nine months now and still not preg. im not over weight. i am avg i weigh 175 and im slim. i dont have a stressful life. but not being able to conceive a child yet is ruining me an my husband to be future what should I do I do not want to lose him.

  274. jessica says:

    dear god!! who could want a child when they dont think positively about themselves or marriage or husband?

  275. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    To The Irish Stoner,

    Sometimes getting pregnant (or not getting pregnant) is easier when we’re at peace with who we are and where we’re going in life.

    Instead of wondering what kid would want you for a parent, I think you should start being a woman that any kid would be proud to call mom! You can take control of your life and self-esteem…and the good and bad news is that it’s all up to you. If you want to change how you think about yourself, your marriage, your husband, and your life — then you can. But if you just keep thinking that no child would want you to be his mom, then you’ll just get more of the same.

    I am sorry you don’t feel like you’re in control of your life…and I really hope you can take charge and live the life of your dreams!


  276. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:


    You need to see a fertility specialist if you’ve been trying to get pregnant for four years and have pcos! I’m afraid I can’t suggest anything — you need a doctor to help you figure out exactly why you can’t get pregnant, and help you decide what to do next.

    And, like I told Barbara: keep trying, and keep believing that you will get pregnant! Don’t give up hope yet…


  277. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Barbara,

    I can’t say whether you had implantation bleeding or not…but I have read that implantation is more of a light spotting. It’s possible — because every woman is different, and every possible pregnancy is different — but I couldn’t say with any certainty.

    Keep trying, my friend…and keep believing that you WILL get pregnant sooner or later!


  278. The Irish Stoner says:

    I know the reasons why I can’t get pregnant, but I don’t feel that I can do anything about them.
    I don’t have sex often enough for a start because my husband is in a very intensive job and is always too tired. I have been off the pill for 6 months now after 8 years taking it. I’m only 25 and my auntie(by marriage) who is 45 has just given birth to number 8! Then again she doesn’t have the problems I have. And I was told at 17 I might have endo, just like another auntie of mine (by blood).
    My cigarette habit is not something I would ever be able to give up just for myself, I could only ever do it once I knew there was a baby due to my self-esteem problems made worse by the fact that even all my smoker friends can manage to get pregnant and I can’t. I drink far too much coffee, because despite a fairly decent I.Q., I don’t feel that my mental faculties are adequate without it. I rarely drink too much because I only like alcohol for the taste, not the altered state of mind it brings, whereas I do prefer to smoke the odd bit of weed. Obviously these are all things I would not do anymore as soon as I found out, but it seems a bit unfair that my friends (even the less child-centred or imaginative ones)can do all these things still God awards them the chance to become parents but not me. God even saw fit to give ME to parents who didn’t even WANT me after a contraceptive mishap at a rock festival! (But I won’t bore you with the details like they did)
    We are serious about being parents: we have even agreed on names, getting them baptised so that they can go to a catholic school, we are even planning to paint our baby’s walls with yellow submarine characters, read them Roald Dahl, Hans Christian Anderson and Oscar Wilde, cry at the end of Edward Scissorhands together. We have even agreed, amongst other things never to use corporal punishment(I was physically abused as a child) but to discipline by making them understand the difference between right and wrong. I guess I don’t deserve to be a mum and should just leave it at that? What kid would want me for a parent anyway?

  279. laura says:

    me and my partner have been tryin 4 a baby for 4 years i have pcos and its really getting me down im a little over weight but excercise regular wot else can i do please help 🙁

  280. barbara says:

    Me and my husband have been tring to conceive, we have tried the days that i am fertile and on my ovulation day. last month i thought i was pregnant we had intercourse on the 1,2,3 the 3 was the day that i ovulated. On the 10 i had heavy bleeding with small clots it only lasted one day, do you think that i had a problem with implantation? unfortunatly i got my period on the 16 it was alot heavier and more cramping then usual . let me know what you think thanks

  281. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Crystal,

    I’m sorry to hear that you’re having trouble getting pregnant! Have you tried timing intercourse to match your ovulation?

    If you haven’t heard of this, let me know, and I’ll post some links that describe how to do it. It’s key to getting pregnant.


  282. crystal says:

    can somebody please give me some answers………ive been trying to get pregnant from since october and all i am coming up with is my period… i would like to know whats going on…or what to do

  283. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Louisa,

    Losing weight even when you’re healthy is difficult, much less when you have various health issues! My heart goes out to you…I know how sad it is not to be able to get pregnant.

    I encourage you to talk to a nutritionist or dietitian. I think the regular ways to lose weight (exercise more, eat less calories) are a bit more challenging when there are other health conditions involved. A nutritionist can help you get to the root of why you’re overweight and help you figure out how to change your eating and exercise patterns.

    You might also consider joining a group, such as Weight Watchers or TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly). Maybe you’d benefit from the group meetings and support. Plus, those organizations offer lots of great eating, exercise, and lifestyle advice.

    I hope you try one or both of my suggestions…..losing weight is easier when we have support and accountability!


  284. Louisa says:

    I have an underactive thyroid, a cyst on my ovary and im overweight, i am trying to lose weight but because of my underactive thyroid i find it hard work. i also have a mccune albrights disease which means im going to have an early menapause. all these things wrong and i am desperate for children. what can i do?

  285. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Jessica, Chelsea, and Nikki,

    I wish I could tell you why you can’t get pregnant — and how you CAN get pregnant quickly and easily! But, different women have different problems, which means you three may have totally different reasons for not being able to conceive a baby. And, I can’t tell you what those reasons are — you need to talk to your doctor, and possibly get some fertility tests done (depending on how long you’ve been trying to get pregnant).

    It takes most couples a year on average to get pregnant, so if you’ve only been trying for a few months, then you need to keep charting your temperatures and having intercourse at the optimal times. And, most fertility doctors and GPs recommend trying for a year before getting fertility tests done.

    Also, make sure your partners get their sperm tested. If a woman can’t get pregnant, there’s a 33% chance it’s because her partner is having male fertility problems. So, it may not be about you….but the only way to find that out is to get both you and your partner tested!

    Nikki — yes, overwork, stress, and not enough sleep can prevent you from getting pregnant. I don’t know about your size — tiny people can have very successful pregnancies — but not being in good health can prevent pregnancy.

    I hope this helps, and encourage all three of you to try charting your temperatures and having intercourse when you’re ovulating. If you haven’t gotten pregnant after a year of trying, then talk to your doctor or a fertility specialist.


  286. Nikki says:

    Hi. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now and have been trying for a baby for a couple of months. At this point it seems impossible for me to become pregnant. Im thinking it might be because I am a tiny person and a little bit under weight. I also sometimes over work myself and I am an insomniac. Could these be reasons why I might not be able to become pregnant?

  287. Chelsea H. says:

    My husband and I have been together for 3 yrs…. we stopped using any kind of protection during intercourse for about 6+ months and by my surprise, I am not pregnant… we haven’t used any forms of birth control in a while…I had my 4 yr old without having to even really try…. and now, I can’t seem to get pregnant at all.. any suggestions or help??

  288. Jessica says:

    My partner and i were not trying to have a baby, but one day i was looking around and noticing that a lot of people were having babies. I thought to myself it would be nice to have a child. Then as i went back and remembered, there were so many times that i should’ve gotten pregnant. Now that i am trying we cant seem to possible get pregnant. He has two children already so we know he works, so maybe its me.

  289. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Ashley,

    I’m sorry to hear about your stomach problems, and that your doctors can’t seem to diagnose you properly. I don’t know if that’s why you can’t get pregnant, but it’s certainly true that one part of our body affects most other parts! So, it could be that whatever is causing your stomach problems is also affecting your ability to conceive a child. It just depends on what your stomach problems are, of course…

    I suggest you try a different doctor. That doesn’t mean there’s something “wrong” with your current doctors, or that they’re not doing their jobs…it’s just that different doctors have different types of experience, education, expertise, and areas of specialty. You might try a specialist — a doctor who focuses on the stomach and intestines (a gastroenterologist).

    It might be wise to wait until your stomach problems are remedied before trying to get pregnant. My sister had an appendectomy (her appendix removed) when she was 7 months pregnant, and it was a complicated procedure. It’s a drag to have to treat health issues when you’re pregnant, so it’s always best to be as healthy as possible before you get pregnant!

    I hope your doctor make a diagnosis and give you a treatment plan quickly….let me know how it goes.


  290. ashley says:

    i have stomach promblems…realli bad pains and the doctors cant seem to figure out whats really wrong…do you think maybe thats why i cant get pregnet we have been trying for a couple years and im 22 and have only one child which i had before i started having these problems…and do you think its best i wait untill they find out whats wrong??

  291. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Bella,

    I don’t know anything about the best positions for conceiving a baby, but I do remember reading that it can be helpful to stay on your back after intercourse. I think this allows the sperm time to reach the egg.

    Yes, a thyroid problem — and being a bit overweight — can stop you from getting pregnant.

    After a year of trying, I think it’s time to see a doctor! I encourage you to make an appointment with your family doctor, just to get a basic health checkup. Your partner might want to take a sperm test — there are at-home versions that are relatively accurate — or he might even take one through the doctor.

    Good luck, I hope you get pregnant soon!


  292. Bella says:

    I am also a bit overweight but am dieting and exercising normally. I might have a thyroid problem could that be why?

  293. Bella says:

    I have been trying to have a baby for over a year. I have heavy periods for the first few days and ovulate each month. I cannot get pregnant. What are the best positions for us to conceive?

  294. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Patricia,

    I don’t think a medical procedure like that can stop you from getting pregnant, but it depends on what else is happening in your husband’s body! To find out, he would need talk to his doctor or a fertility specialist.

    But generally speaking, a catheter isn’t a cause of infertility.

    Good luck — I hope you get pregnant soon!


  295. PATRICIA says:


  296. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Askhley,

    Though I can’t say for sure if you’ll ever get pregnant — and I’m sorry to hear it’s been such a struggle for you — but it’s a good sign that the doctors say to keep trying! At least they haven’t said it’s hopeless, or that you’re infertile.

    It sounds like you’ve seen several doctors, which blows my suggestion of getting a second opinion. Have you tried seeing a naturopathic physician? Sometimes they have herbal remedies and nutritional suggestions that make all the difference in the world — and that can actually help you get pregnant. It’s worth a try…after all, what do you have to lose?

    Give a naturopath a call, and let me know how it goes….

    Baby Blessings,

  297. Ashley K says:

    I want a Baby. My Boyfriend and I have been together now for about 2 years and we have been trying to have a baby. I have seen plenty of doctors. And they keep telling me to keep trying. I have endometrious and ovarian cyst. I have gotten 2 surgerys for it. My doctor said one thing that will help that is actually getting pregnant. But will that ever even happen??

  298. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Kelli,

    My best advice is for you to talk to your doctor as soon as possible. My fertility doctor told me to get rid of the ovarian cyst before trying to get pregnant. Also, being overweight definitely affects your chances of conceiving a baby (extra weight doesn’t make it impossible to get pregnant, just less likely).

    So, get thee to a doctor! Figure out if you need the cyst removed and how much weight you need to lose….removing those two obstacles will help you get pregnant, I believe.

    Good luck — let me know how it goes…


  299. kelli says:

    My husband and I have been together for five years. We have been married for two years out of the five. i have ovarian cyst and i have have a period for like a month at a time and i am over weight. although i have all these problems my husband and i have been wanting a child. i dont know what to do. please help!

  1. November 26, 2013

    […] Not getting pregnant or inability to conceive is extremely stressful for women who want to have a family. This notion is shown by a study published in the Human Reproduction journal on patients in four countries with the highest number of cases of assisted reproduction cycles (infertility treatments) in Europe: France, Germany, Italy and Spain. If you’re having trouble conceiving a baby, read 4 Most Common Reasons You Can’t Get Pregnant. […]

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