6 Ways to Improve Your Chances of Getting Pregnant After 40

These tips for getting pregnant in your 40s are infused with inspiration from a 51 year old woman who is enjoying a healthy, happy pregnancy. If you want to have a baby, you’re a woman over 40, and you’re considering in vitro fertilization (IVF), you’ll be inspired by Mary Beth’s story…

getting pregnant women over 40

Getting Pregnant in Your 40s

“I woke up one day at age 45 and wondered ‘Where did these last 20 years go??” says Mary Beth on The Best Way to Get Pregnant. “The decades just flew by! I’m ready to get pregnant and have a baby now.” If you’re in the same boat – reaching your 40s or 50s and wondering if you’ll ever get pregnant – read Mary Beth’s story below. She had in vitro fertilization at age 51 and is seven months pregnant.

In this article, you’ll find realistic – but admittedly a little depressing – facts about pregnancy for women after 40. I peppered “pregnant over 40” information from the Mayo Clinic amongst Mary Beth’s tips for a healthy pregnancy at age 51. I want you to be inspired and hopeful that you could get pregnant even after celebrating your 40th or 45th birthday…but I also want you to be prepared for the reality of getting pregnant after you turn forty.





6 Ways to Improve Your Chances of Getting Pregnant After 40

The good news is that yes, achieving a healthy successful pregnancy as a 40-year-old woman is possible without fertility treatments! But the bad news is that your chances of having trouble conceiving a baby are much higher. Of all women ages 40 to 44, 29% will experience infertility. In comparison, women in their early 20s only experience infertility 7% of the time. Women in their early 30s experience infertility 15% of the time.

As a woman over 40, your chances of pregnancy are lower then when you were younger. A 30-year-old woman has a 20% chance of getting pregnant every month; a 40-year-old woman only has a 5% chance of getting pregnant. 

1. Take a deep breath and be open to all your options

It is possible that you may not conceive, carry, and give birth to a child naturally, especially since women in their 40s have a higher rate of miscarriage. About 34% of pregnancies end in miscarriage for women who are between the ages of 40 and 44. If you’re over 45 years old, your chances of a miscarriage rise to 53%. But if you look on the bright side, this means that you have about 75% chance of a successful healthy pregnancy if you’re younger than 44 years old.

There are ways to increase your chances of getting pregnant after you turn 40. Of course, there are no guarantees – but whatever you can do to improve your fertility and stay healthy is worth trying. That said, however, I encourage you to make peace with the possibility that you may not conceive a child naturally. You may consider adopting a child or putting your energies into other healthy aspects of life instead. This is what I mean when I say take a deep breath and be open to all your options.

Mary Beth, had you already grieved the idea of never having kids? “No, not really.  I made conscious choices along the way to put my career first, knowing that child bearing would wait a while.  Somehow I always felt that I would still have kids (either marrying a guy who already had a family…or would still somehow have my own).”

2. Learn as much as you can about ovulation and intercourse

Timing is everything when it comes to getting pregnant – whether or not you’re a woman over 40.

Ways to Improve Your Chances of Getting Pregnant over 40 womenRead Yes, You Can Get Pregnant: Natural Ways to Improve Your Fertility Now and into Your 40s by Aimee Raupp. She is a nationally renowned womenÌs health and fertility expert who has helped hundreds of women optimize their fertility and get pregnant, even after age 40.

In this book she provides her complete program for improving your chances of conceiving and overcoming infertility, including the most effective complementary and lifestyle approaches and the latest nutritional advicefor women over 40 who want to get pregnant. Her remedies help you how to get in tune with your body, eat the best fertility-enhancing foods, and avoid environmental toxins to achieve a healthy and stress-free pregnancy. Aimee provides hope, scientifically-backed knowledge, and emotional support to help you become the mother you want to be.

3. Know your medical and gynecological history

Chances are you will have to visit a gynecologist or fertility doctor to achieve a healthy, successful pregnancy – especially if you are a woman over 45 years old. Be prepared to talk about your previous pregnancies, miscarriages, abortions, and gynecological history. It will help the doctor to know if you had problems in the past, such as preterm labor or high blood pressure. You will also need to share information about your menstrual cycles.

Your doctor or gynecologist will also discuss the causes of infertility for men and women during your first and subsequent visits. did you know that 33% of problems conceiving for couples are due to male factor infertility? This means that your husband or boyfriend’s sperm has a direct effect on whether or not you get pregnant as a woman over 40 This further means that your husband or boyfriend needs to get a sperm test or semen analysis done as soon as possible to determine if his swimmers are the reason you’re not getting pregnant.

Mary Beth, did you consider adopting or fostering children? “Yes. My husband and I discussed this in great depth.  We decided to try the IVF route for three cycles.  If that didn’t work, we were then going to enthusiastically pursue adopting kids.”

4. Review your prescription medications

Let’s face it, women over 40 have a higher chance of taking prescription medications and having health issues than women who are younger than 40. If you are taking medications that could affect your chances of conceiving a baby and having a healthy pregnancy, make sure you talk to your doctor about your different options before proceeding. You may have to make difficult decisions about your health and your baby’s safety when you’re trying to improve your chances of pregnancy over 40.





Mary Beth, what advice would you give women coping with infertility? “Stay positive, give it time, keep an open mind and consider all options for infertile couples. Again – stay positive and optimistic!  Consider what’s best for you and don’t listen to what your family and good friends are saying.  Initially, my own mother was really against in vitro fertilization and wouldn’t even discuss it with me.  I figured in due time she would come around when she was ready. And she is.”

5. Use an ovulation predictor kit

When I was trying to get pregnant, I found a home ovulation predictor kit to be the best way to time sex to improve our chances of conceiving a baby.  Even though I was a 42 year old woman, I didn’t know when I was ovulating or how to measure my basal body temperature – which many fertility experts recommend. I found the ovulation predictor kit to be much easier.

An ovulation predictor kit measures luteinizing hormone or LH surges, and helps you know when to have intercourse. Ideally you should have sex the day before you ovulate in order for the sperm to meet the egg and happily join for a healthy pregnancy.

How to Improve Your Chances of Getting Pregnant After 40

Another type of home ovulation predictor kit is the Ovulation Fertility Scope – Saliva Based –  Lady Q Microscope that looks just like a lipstick tube. But this is no tube of red paint! This fertility scope is a precision, state-of-the-art, hand-held mini-microscope. You simply look at your dried saliva through the Lady-Q, and you’ll accurately determine your fertile period. All you have to do is lick the Lady-Q lens, allow your saliva to dry for 2 to 3 minutes, and then read the result. This ovulation monitor is a fertility test that can be done confidently anytime and anywhere. You’ll get accurate and in-depth test results for your baby-bearing period and ovulation period.

Mary Beth, when people discover that you’re 52 and pregnant, what reaction do you get? “My husband and I knew what was best for the two of us…and we didn’t seriously listen to anyone else’s comments.  Almost everyone was excited for us to be trying to get pregnant over age 40, but a few weren’t. Most people say ‘Wow, that’s incredible.  That’s awesome and you are brave for going through with a pregnancy after turning 50 years old!!’ A very few say, ‘You are out of your mind.’ But we know having a baby is the right decision for us as a family. My husband and I have been married 2½ years. I just turned 52 and my husband will soon be 52.”

6. Consider a fertility treatment such as in vitro fertilization

How do you know when to get fertility help? Since every year that passes, your chances of conceiving a baby is a 40-year-old woman get lower and lower. Thus, it’s important for you to seek help from a gynecologist or fertility doctor as soon as possible if you’re trying to conceive. If you have been trying to have a baby for six months and you’re still not pregnant, you should get your 40-year-old bottom to the fertility doctor as soon as possible.

How to Improve Your Chances of Getting Pregnant After 40

6 Ways to Improve Your Chances of Getting Pregnant After 40

Fertility treatments are less effective for women after 40. For example intrauterine insemination treatments are as low as 5% for women in their 40s. In vitro fertilization or IVF success rates can be as high as 15% per cycle. Unfortunately, this rate falls quickly as each month and year goes by. Different fertility clinics have different success rates of fertility treatment such as in vitro fertilization and intrauterine insemination. Different fertility clinics also have different ways to measure and calculate their success rates.

Mary Beth, what made you decide to try in vitro fertilization (IVF) at age 51? “After changing my life around so that I wasn’t so focused on my career, I met a wonderful man when I was 46 and at age 47 it was very serious.  That’s when we started speaking with fertility doctors to see what our baby choices were.  They told me choices were 1) still use my eggs (small chance of getting and carrying a pregnancy) or 2) consider donor eggs. So, we tried in vitro fertilization.”

Whether your pregnancy was meticulously and carefully planned, medically because such as by in vitro fertilization treatments, or happened by surprise, your life will never be the same.

And finally, I asked Mary Beth what would surprise people to learn about getting pregnant in your 40s or 50s… “That it still can happen! As a woman over 40 or 50, keep yourself in the best possible health and stay positive! So far (7 months along) I have felt GREAT. I never had morning sickness and still haven’t had a day yet of feeling pregnant.  That’s more than my younger sisters could say about their pregnancies 20 years ago when they were in their 20s.”

If your dream is to achieve a healthy successful pregnancy as a woman after 40, read 15 Things You Need to Know About Pregnancy After 40.

If you have any thoughts on getting pregnant in your 40s or 50s, please comment below. I can’t offer health or medical advice – please see your fertility doctor if you’re trying to get pregnant – but I welcome your stories and tips.

To learn more, read How Old is Too Old to Have a Baby? Pregnancy After 35 on the Mayo Clinic blog.

xo

40 Responses

  1. Laurie says:

    Dear Tricia,

    I want to be able to say happy birthday because you just turned 45, but it sounds like it’s not the best birthday you’ve ever celebrated. I’m sorry for what you’re going through – it’s very painful to experience all those failed in vitro fertilization treatments. The sadness of not conceiving after all you went through is heartbreaking, and I am sorry for your losses.

    Yes, Mary Beth did use donor eggs, but she’s not available to give advice. I’ve lost touch with her – I interviewed her and wrote this article a few years ago, so I have no advice for you in terms of using donor eggs and improving your chances of getting pregnant.

    You said that you are trying to convince yourself to use donor eggs. May I ask why this is not an easy decision for you? Also, have you talked to a fertility doctor about the chances of successfully getting pregnant with owner eggs?

    Just yesterday I wrote this article for women who feel depressed and hopeless because they can’t get pregnant. Here’s the link:

    How to Overcome Hopelessness After an Infertility Diagnosis
    http://blossomtips.com/overcoming-feelings-of-hopelessness-after-diagnosis-infertility-problems/

    I will keep you in my prayers. May you find wisdom and peace, hope and healing as you move forward in your journey to become a family with her husband. I pray that you are able to find strength and courage, energy and faith as you make this big important decision in your life.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  2. Tricia says:

    Hello: I just turned 45 and I am trying to convince myself to use donor eggs. That seems to be our only choice after years of failed IVF treatments and sadness. From the sound of the article, it sounds like you did use donor eggs and that you are happy with your decision. Do you have any advice for someone who is facing this challenge? I cry about this several times a day and I can’t go on this way.

  3. Laurie says:

    Dear Laura,

    You and your husband have been through so much together! Fostering five children who are so young, and not being able to keep any of them… Wow. You certainly have a lot of experience loving and parenting children. The love and goodness you are sharing with the world is amazing, and you filled my heart with joy.

    I can’t offer any quick or easy ways to improve your chances of getting pregnant at age 49. Going to the gynecologist is the best first step to take. I hate to say it, but your age and irregular periods do not make it easy to conceive a baby. I think you know this but you don’t want to give up hope yet.

    What would it feel like to put your hope and energy into something else instead? I know this is not what you want to hear… But it’s what popped into my mind while reading your comments.

  4. Laurie says:

    Dear lgd,

    Have you talked to a fertility doctor about getting pregnant? I know that you had a lot of trouble trying to conceive – eight years is a long time to go through fertility issues! I’m sorry it’s not easier for you to have children. I know how difficult it is, and how hard it can be on a relationship.

    Does your fiancé have his heart set on having children? If so, have you and he talked about adopting or fostering children? If it seems like you’re not going to get pregnant not just because you are 45 years old, but because of your past infertility issues, then maybe you and he need to talk about different ways to start your family.

    What does your fiancé say about having children together?

    • Laura says:

      Hi I am 49 years old and have always experienced irregular periods. During the last year I have had only 2 periods (1 last month). My husband and I desperately want another child. We have used no birth control for 4 years…but no babies. I have an appointment with my gynecologist this month and wonder if there is anything in particular I need to address with him. I am actually very nervous that he is going to say “the train has left the station”. We have fostered 5 children 2 and under in the last 2 and a half yrs.. but didn’t get to keep any of them…just heartbreaking. We really want another child.

  5. lgd says:

    Hello Everyone. Just a little background info. I had given up trying to conceive about 6 years ago(due to divorce). My husband of 13 years and 6 years younger than myself(now I am 45). Demanded I give him children after my only child was killed in 2001.(not his child) However he come from a big family and knew that I had been banded when I was 23. I went and had re-anastomosis surgery after my daughter was killed in an accident. I spent the next 8 years TTC. I was tapped out for $ and refused to continue on the major fertility drugs I was on. I had miscarried 4 times and the doctors were saying I needed to give my body a break. At that point my husband told me that he was leaving me bc I could not give him children. My life fell apart as I had wrapped my life around him after the death of my child. So here I am now 45 and about to marry a wonderful man that is 29. We have known each other for 17 years but became close during my divorce when he was 22 and helped me on my farm & through the rough times. We then went our own way and had not seen each other in 5 years and decided to give it a try. He knows of the infertility issues I went through. However we would really like to try to have a baby. I am ready to try to conceive. Do you have any suggestions on how to improve your chances of getting pregnant as a 45 year old woman? Please don’t judge the age situation as there is a long story behind things but age is just a # it is no different that a man can have a woman way younger and it is ok in society.Thank you in advance

  6. Laurie says:

    Hello S Cox,

    Getting pregnant in your 40s is definitely not an easy task – it’s not a walk in the park! I’m sorry that you feel disheartened every month when you get your period, and that trying to get pregnant is taking over your life. I suspect that giving you links to more information about how to get pregnant when you’re 48 years old is probably not going to help. You’ve probably done a ton of research into how to get pregnant when you’re in your forties.

    What did the fertility doctor or gynecologist say when your went for a checkup? Has your husband or boyfriend had a sperm test or semen analysis? And…have you two talked about fertility treatments, adoption, or fostering kids? If I were you, that’s where I’d go next. Getting pregnant naturally when you’re in your late 40s has a low probability of success, unfortunately.

    I wish you all the best as you continue your journey towards starting your family.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  7. S Cox says:

    I’m 48 and trying to get pregnant it disheartens me every month when I have my period it’s taking over my life , wot can I take or do to make this happen ?

  8. Laurie says:

    Hello Agnes!

    What did your doctor say about getting pregnant at age 47? He or she would be your best source of information, especially for an in-person female fertility test or two. If you’re not ovulating anymore – if you’re in perimenopause or menopause – it may be more difficult to get pregnant.

    The best thing to do is see a doctor in person, and see what he or she has to say about getting pregnant in your 40s.

    I wish you all the best, and hope you’re able to conceive! Even more importantly, I hope you and your boyfriend can accept whatever comes your way, with peace and joy.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  9. Agnes says:

    I’m Agnes 47years and about to get married but my husband to be really needs a child from me though he has 3 with two mothers. I really need a child of my own. How can you help.

  10. rita says:

    I was 43 when I conceived my child naturally with no problems what so ever and although it is harder to conceive after 40 it is not impossible I m sending hope n love to all the women out there who long to be mothers. I have heard all the negative comments from the medical professionals but my daughter is lovely and so so smart. Please remember it does not matter how a child comes into your life whether natural,adopted,foster child, ivf, ect. children are a gift.

  11. Laurie says:

    If you’re concerned about getting pregnant in your 40s, read an article called “Biological clock not a time bomb after 40” in the Daily Telegraph. Here’s an excerpt:

    Fertility expert Zita West says that she constantly sees clients “panicking unnecessarily“. “Modern life puts up so many hurdles for women in their twenties that it’s not easy for them to have babies at the ‘ideal’ time, and then there’s so much anxiety and impatience from clients in their thirties.

    “Couples put huge pressure on one another during ovulation and it’s increasingly common in my consultations to see men who have performance anxiety around sex and ovulation. They say: ‘Oh, my God, it’s never going to happen’ when they’ve only been trying for three months, or they live in different countries and only have sex once a month. Often they rush into having IVF when they don’t need it.”

    In fact, the true statistics about female fertility are far less terrifying than is widely believed. Women do lose 90% of their eggs by 30, but that still leaves them with 10,000, when only one is needed to make a baby.

    Then there’s the statistic that one in three women aged between 35 and 39 will not be pregnant after a year of trying, taken from a 2004 article in the journal Human Reproduction. These figures do not come from large, scientifically conducted studies of contemporary women, but from French birth records from 1670 to 1830, covering women with no access to modern health care or nutrition.

    Here’s the link to the full article: http://www.timeslive.co.za/lifestyle/family/2014/05/20/biological-clock-not-a-time-bomb-after-40

  12. Sylvia says:

    Hello Mary Beth, that is such great news about your pregnancy. Did you get pregnant with your own eggs? How many eggs were used to do your ivf?

  13. renee says:

    dear laura
    I am 47 yrs old.Trying to get pregnant for along time and haven’t .I want a baby badly by 48 .Cna you give me some tips what to do do get pregnant. My husbabd is only 34 and he already has 2 kids .I want my own and am trying but i feel lost what to do .Sometimes ovavtions i am not sure about and my husbns comes home in august and i want to try to get pregnant then or after.I feel my age is a hugh factor why i can’t get pregnant.

  14. Leslie Ann says:

    Wow, this thread is still active, 3 years later!
    My first comment was about the sixth one or so…I’m so pleased to tell you that at 41 I delivered a bouncing, beautiful, healthy baby boy in November 2010! After about 9 months of increasing fertility drugs every month, we tried an IUI once, and I got pregnant! My pregnancy went well–I enjoyed every minute. My little boy is 20 months old now. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about and say a little prayer for all the mommies waiting for their babies to find their way to them. Like one of the other posters said, your babies when come to you when all is ready, one way or another. I thank God for my miracle, and I will never forget how heartbreaking the struggle was to get here. I wish all of you baby dust! Love from one of your “sisters” who remembers the struggle! 🙂

  15. Ginny says:

    I’m 49 years old and 8 months pregnant. I got married for the first time at 41 – hubby is 7 years younger. We got pregnant naturally at 43 and 44 but lost both. Did IVF donor egg for the first time in December and I’m now expecting one – transferred 2 embryos but only one took – which is probably for the best. . The coordinator told me my positive attitude probably helped. Have faith and don’t let anyone tell you what to do. I’ve always wanted children, but didn’t meet the right man until later in life. There is hope.

  16. Laurie says:

    Dear Kim,

    I’m sending you all my prayers and blessings that you conceive! I admire you for trying to get pregnant at age 47….and I wish with all my heart that you succeed.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  17. Kim says:

    I am encouraged by all the over 40 women trying or wishing to conceive. I became pregnant naturally and easily at ages 38 and 40. We made a grave error in waiting 2 years after the second and then my cycles started to go crazy. (beginning of perimenopause)…we did one IVF cycle last year with my own eggs and sadly the baby did not implant and I only produced one follicle, so there were no more to try with. So now here we are and I’m now 47 and my hubby is 41….an we are doing a donor egg cycle at the end of the month out of the country. We really hope this works, because it is the last try.

  18. Laurie says:

    Thanks for your comments! Getting pregnant when you’re over age forty is more challenging than when you’re twenty, but it’s definitely doable 🙂 I love to hear the positive stories from 40 year old women who got pregnant – and I’m also interested in hearing from the women who couldn’t get pregnant over age 40. I suspect there are more of those, unfortunately.

  19. Claudia says:

    Well… this article is certainly very encouraging for me, especially now that I’m getting ready to do an in vitro with donated eggs in July. I’m 47, very healthy, married, but childless for an unknown reason ( I tried to get pregnant in my late 20’s with my first husband but we couldn’t. Also, for no specific reason so…). At least that’s what all the doctors always told me when I couldn’t get pregnant. I started inseminations at 38 when I met my second husband, but they didn’t work, so we did IVF, 3 rounds, with my own eggs. They retrieved so many eggs each time it was ridiculous, but it didn’t work. So I decided, no more IVF’s and we started the adoption process. Then, last March, we met a fertility doctor that specialized in Spain (best country in the world for IVF’s and infertility treatments by the way) and he asked me: have you tried egg donation? I can give you a 75% to 80% possibilities to get pregnant, especially being so healthy as you are (never smoked, don’t drink, vegetarian, organic zealot, exercise). He really made me think, because my mind was made up about IVF treatments and all the side effects and the hormones and the disappointments, well you know… So here I am, at 47, ready to do another one, with egg donation, absolutely terrified of getting pregnant with two ( Doctor told me there’s a BIG CHANCE) but hey, I believe your child will come when he/she has to come. Not before, not after. I also think that sometimes life has other plans for you, and then after all the things you’ve done (work, travel, finding the right man to be the father of your children, etc, etc) you say: now I feel it’s the time for me to be a mom. But, it may be too late biologically. So now, I’m going with the flow, taking it very easy but still extremely nervous. Am I too old for this? After hearing Mary Beth’s story… I don’t think so!

  20. ade says:

    i still have it in my head, that i will get pregnant at 46 years of age, i just have to be positive and to push it too much

  21. stella says:

    I stopped taking the pill at 41, I did not have another period as I became pregnant straight away. I became pregnant again whilst still breastfeeding the first baby. I had my daughter at 43. Piece of cake did not even get a stretch mark. I came home 6 hours after giving birth tp my daughter at 43 and walked the dogs and cooked the dinner!!! I am 51 and still having regular periods, terrified I might get pregnant again if I start a new relationship ( have been celebate for 7 years – too scared in case I get pregnant again) – so lets hear it for the older mum yeah yeah yeab

  22. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Getting pregnant in your 40s is definitely more difficult than getting pregnant in your 20s — but it’s easier than getting pregnant in your 50s!

    It’s difficult, but not impossible……..

  23. Rosaura says:

    It is very encouraging to hear that there may be opportunities to have a baby after 40. I have a couple of friends with 40 and 42 years and they are very disappointed of not having babies before 40. I will tell them that there are always alternatives and they should try.

  24. Lulu says:

    This is really encouraging. I’ve been trying to get pregnant for 6 months now. I’m 41. Hope I’ll get my miracle on my birthday. 🙂

  25. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Martha,

    I wish I could give you a magic natural recipe for pregnancy, but I just don’t know. The sad thing is, once we reach 40, our chances of getting pregnant are much lower than when we’re 35, or even 38 (much less 22!!).

    My best advice would be to talk to a fertility specialist. Not necessarily a naturopath or alternative medicine practictioner — I think you need to find out if you’re still ovulating. If you’re not producing eggs, then I’m pretty sure that no amount of natural herbal remedies or acupuncture can create them!

    Talk to a fertility doctor; the initial consultation should be free. They can test whether or not you’re still ovulating, and then you can figure out your next step.

    I know how hard it is — I’m 40, and I think my chances of getting pregnant have passed! But it’s different for us, because we could never get pregnant naturally (my husband has azoospermia). Accepting the fact that you’ll never get pregnant is so difficult and heartbreaking…not that I’m saying you’re in this boat! You never know, some women do get pregnant when they’re over 50.

    But, I believe the best thing you can do is find out if you’re still producing eggs.

    Let me know how it goes.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  26. Martha says:

    I’m so glad I found this site. I’m 47 and I haven’t had children. My first marriage went bad. Even though the doctor did lots of tests and told me I was ok. I was not getting pregnant. They found endometriosis, and did on me a few insemination, didn’t work (I confess I was a little nervous cause I didn’t see my marriage becoming solid in almost 7 years married, but after a couple of months later 6 months I got separated. To make long story short. Now I’m married to 55 year old man and he had kids in her first marriage and it seems (and it hurts) that he is not too much into having kids… although he says “if you get pregnant it will be a miracle and I will be so happy”. I’m thinking maybe he knows it’s hard to get pregnant at this age and soon will be 48. I feel is starting to affect my life and I’m starting to have deep depressions that I try not to show to anybody. And I feel that I’m more into the willing to become a mom than what he is to become a daddy of one of our own. I never consider adoption not because I wouldn’t like to but I always dreamt about becoming a mom and see the miracle of a baby that looks a little like mom and dad. It was always my dream. Please give me some advice. Is there something natural that we can be doing. I mean something to take or something that could help conception?

  27. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Raisa,

    That’s great that you know what was stopping you from getting pregnant! That’s the first step towards conceiving — and it’s an important one. The more you know about your own body, the better.

    I hope the second time is the charm….I’d love to hear how it goes…

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  28. Raisa says:

    Wow, this is wonderful news, it certainly gives me hope! I’m 42 and trying to get pregnant too; I just started my 3rd in vitro…basically saying 3 is a strike. The first try, we recently discovered, could have never been successful as there was something covering the lining of the uterous which is now removed, but we tried it after and the egg didn’t implant; this will be second time after the lining issue was removed…

  29. Michele says:

    Laurie, thanks so much. I agree that money is such a beast. I feel like we are stuck between a rock and a very hard place because we do not have the money to do either IVF or a regular adoption. It’s very frustrating.

  30. Laurie PK says:

    Michele, that is such a good question about raising money for IVF or adoption…I don’t know what to say!

    One of my friends who was trying to conceive for 5 years — and has no money — was gearing up to ask her dad to “donate” $10,000 to her cause. Then, she got pregnant with IUI, which was inexpensive enough that she didn’t need to ask him for the money.

    Asking people on a website is an interesting idea — especially if you’re open and honest about how long you’ve been trying to get pregnant, and how much this means to you.

    I’m sorry, but I can’t think of anything else to suggest! I’ll give it more thought…I wonder if there are any experimental IVF procedures that you could participate in? I’m not even sure how you’d find them. But, most universities and hospitals that need to do trials also need voluteers…I’d be happy to be part of an IVF trial!

    Money is such a beast. And, infertility treatments are so bloody expensive.

    I’d consider asking family members and close friends for a loan, to be paid off within 2-5 years — however long you need.

    If I can think of anything more creative, I’ll be back!

    I wish you all the best, and my heart goes out to you.

    Laurie

  31. Michele says:

    Becky, thank you so much for all of the great information. Best of luck to you. Lots of baby dust : )

  32. Becky says:

    Hi Michelle,
    As a foster parent I can tell you there is a “chance” to adopt through foster care and this plan is relatively free. Another option – private adoption costs money and the birth mother has to choose you. International adoption is a good option especially if you want to get a certain type of match to your family. If you want Af. Am. go to Haiti for example and if you want blue eyed kids shorter statured maybe you should try Ukraine.
    Okay…to raise money I would establish your own website and put it at the bottom of every thing you send out. Direct people to it. On your website let people know the reasons for adoption. Another adoption option for you could be embryo adoption which is relatively inexpensive. Just search for this online and….Good Luck. I just turned 43 and my husband and I have been going through 16 years of infertility. He had an undescended testicle as a child and a varicocele. I was perfectly fine. Now I am getting older and it looks like my eggs are fine for 2-3 months and then I have a wonky cycle. This month is looking good and my husband just got another SFA done yesterday so we hope that turns out well. We are also doing clomid this month starting tomorrow. We are doing what we can until our insurance runs out which is about $10K more. We are only doing minimally invasive procedures. I think we are going to try an IUI this month.
    Best of luck to you.

  33. Michele says:

    Mary Beth, I’m 44 and have been TTC fr 2 plus years. We would like to try IVF but do not have the money. Do you have suggestions on ways to “raise” funds for IVF or even adoption, which is also very expensive.

  34. Mary Beth says:

    Yes you are still so young, Leslie Ann…and have so many wonderful options available to help you get pregnant. It will happen!! Just try to enjoy the ride, stay positive and not worry about it.

    All the best to you,

    Mary Beth

  35. Leslie Ann says:

    Thanks, Mary Beth! You’re inspiring! After 2 years of TTC, a miscarriage last year, 3 months of meds, and just turning 40, I’m getting discouraged. This is just what I needed to read today! No need to panic–I’m still young! 😉 Best to you, Mary Beth, Kaylee, and LauriePK!

  36. Mary Beth says:

    Oh – one more thing. My mom (who initially wouldn’t even discuss our decision to use IVF) is now flying out next week to attend my baby shower. She is now very excited to welcome a new little grand daughter! I knew she would come around, but only when she was ready and on her terms.

    Mary Beth

  37. Mary Beth says:

    Thank you so much for your comments and positive feedbak. You are very wise to think out all the pluses and minuses of how you will handle this situation. Very sorry to hear about your miscarriages. Hopefully your IVF procedure will be smooth sailing!!!! We are now 8 weeks away from having our little girl join us…and it is such a miracle and a blessing. I really wish the same for you. Please keep in touch, OK?
    All the best and wonderful positive thoughts for you!!! – Mary Beth

  38. LauriePK says:

    I wish you all the best with your IVF, Kelsee! I hope you get pregnant, and stay pregnant until that baby is ready to be born.

    I considered IVF, but am not ready yet…want to try another six months of IUI first.

    Laurie

  39. Kelsee says:

    Hi
    I think you are amazing and wish you every happiness and success
    I too am 51y and understand everything you have said
    I have had 3 miscarriages in last 4 years so have just decided to try IVF So far we do not plan to tell family or friends as l believe it is our decision alone and too many people want to be negative about pregnancy in latter life so l think as it is best to have a positive attitude this is definately something we plan to keep private

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