How to Cope With the Pain of Missing Your Cat

You may be surprised at the depth of pain you feel every time you think “I miss my cat.” These eight ways to cope with the grief of your cat’s death will help you through your loss. I also share advice from cat owners who understand the sorrow and sadness of losing a beloved pet.

I Miss My Cat

I Miss My Cat

“Grieving the loss of a beloved cat is an extremely personal experience,” says Michelle on for How to Survive the Loss of Your Pet. “Everyone copes differently, every cat owner has a different way to work through the loss and sadness. But one thing stays the same: we all have to find our own method of grieving. Otherwise the pain never heals. I miss my cat dearly and deeply, but I have to let him go. Otherwise I’ll never be happy again.”

When you miss your cat, there isn’t much that can take the pain away. “Grief can’t be shared. Everyone carries it alone, her own burden, her own way,” said Anne Morrow Lindbergh. The sadness you feel when your cat dies can’t be shared and is yours alone. But, it can help to read about how other people coped with the death of their cats. Below are five ways to cope when you miss your cat more than you can imagine.

These tips may not take away the pain of missing your cat, but at least they’ll help you see you’re not alone. Sometimes just knowing your pain has been shared can help you heal.

8 Ways to Cope When You Miss Your Cat

Surrounding yourself with people who understand what it’s like to grieve the loss of a cat is one of the most important things you can do. If you feel alone – and if you are alone because you isolate yourself – then you may take longer to heal.

Reach out to others. Talk about how difficult it is to deal with the death of your cat. Find people who understand, who can genuinely relate to your pain.

1. Share memories of your beloved furry feline

“As a child, we were encouraged to talk about the pet and remember him or her,” says cat lover Pam Vetter. “Pets are family members and have important roles in our lives. Whenever a frog, lizard, parakeet or guinea pig has died in our house over the last 14 years since my kids were born, we’ve held a mini-funeral in the backyard.  We bury the pet, put a rock marker on top, and share our memories about the pet. The time together serves to recognize the pet’s role in our lives.  My kids are encouraged to share their memories about our lost pets.”

Don’t bury your pain or try to hide how much you miss your cat. Even just telling someone “I miss my cat” can help you through the grieving process. Sadly, you have to feel the pain before you can heal.

2. Give yourself time to heal after your cat dies

“Healing takes place over time, and there is no single formula to saying good-bye when your cat dies,” says Dan, whose 12 year old cat disappeared without a trace.

I miss my cat died

I Miss My Cat

“The loss of a cat is the loss of someone you loved, and when anything you loved is abruptly taken away from you, there is no substitute. Four years ago, my cat Peep disappeared without a trace. I live in an exclusive suburb of Los Angeles in the hills. It’s often you have wild life and predators roaming at night. I was sick with some dental problem and when I came home from pharmacy at 9 pm, I couldn’t locate both my cats…one of then came home and the other didn’t.”

Cry as much as you need to. Weeping – letting your heart melt in sorrow – is the only way to deal with a loss so great. Try to spend time outdoors in the fresh air, away from the invasive noise of people. Allow the pure music of nature to fill your ears, the smells of forest and soil and grass to fill your nose. It will do your soul good.

3. Learn different ways to grieve the pain of missing your cat

Robert Neimeyer, a professor of psychology at the University of Memphis in Tennessee, says grief is more than simply a ­series of emotional stages. Grieving a loss isn’t just about going through the stages of grief – and healing isn’t just about letting time pass.

“We do have a great deal of agency in how we embrace our suffering, and the sense we make of it,” says Neimeyer, author of Techniques of Grief Therapy: Creative Practices for Counseling the Bereaved. He has published 30 books on grief and counselling therapy and has a clinical practice.

Dr Neimeyer recently wrote a paper called ‘Meaning ­Reconstruction in the Wake of Loss: Evolution of a Research Program’, which was published by Cambridge University Press. Drawing on the therapeutic encounters of thousands of bereaved people, many suffering from the loss of a child or a loved one through violent or sudden death, he states that we should not have a “timetable of expectation” when it comes to grief.

How to Cope When You Miss Your Cat

8 Ways to Cope When You Miss Your Cat

“The critical thing is that [a timetable or stages of grieving] simply obscures the degree of choice we have in how we engage in the choiceless act of grieving,” he says in One Step at a Time Helps the Bereaved. “We rarely choose to lose people we love, unless we have to make those hard end-of-life decisions about the removal of medical care, but we can choose how we fit loss into our life, and who we become in consequence to that loss individually, in our families, communities and cultures.”

It is often new purpose – not time – that can be most beneficial to a grieving heart. Newer grief therapy helps grieving people understand the lessons of their loss and places a premium on their capacity to find a new normal, new meaning and “construct a kind of resilience even in the storm of ­bereavement.” With regard to the pain of losing your cat, this means finding a new normal to help you deal with the loss you feel.

“Our work is all about understanding grieving as a process of trying to reconstruct a world of meaning that has been challenged by loss,” says Dr Neimeyer. “What happened, and why and what are its implications for our lives, while also looking at the life we shared with our loved one and carrying it forward in ways we can in their physical absence. Time heals remarkably few wounds of grief because it’s not what time does for the bereaved person; it’s much more a question of what the bereaved person does with that time that matters.”

4. Give yourself time to grieve your cat’s death – and find purpose in your life

After I lost my cat, all I could think was “I miss my cat.”
But I learned that as tempting as it was to focus on how much I missed her, it was creating more pain and suffering in the long run. Focusing on my grief and pain was actually making things worse. It’s important to do the work of grieving your loss – and your cat’s death really is a huge loss! – but not allowing yourself to get swallowed up in the black night of the soul.

There is a difference between healthy grieving and unhealthy dwelling on the pain of loss. Grief takes time and energy – so you will find yourself more tired than usual. Unhealthy dwelling on your loss will suffocate you and prevent healing. So, give yourself time to grieve…but gently distract yourself from the long-term suffering that dwelling on a cat’s death can bring. Make an effort to remember joyful memories of your cat’s life. Keep busy. Find activities, places, and people who sooth your soul and quiet your mind. Learn ways to gently encourage yourself to come alive when you feel dead inside.

5. Consider rescuing an abandoned kitten or cat

“I had my multi-coloured white and ginger cat, Penny, for eight wonderful years,” says Cynthia Colby. “Her death was sudden. She seemed to be losing weight to a point until she appeared too thin, so I took her in to the vet’s and got the bad news. They suggested an operation, but the next day I got a call during the surgery that she might not make it. I rushed in, and she died in my arms. In my case, whether or not to get another cat was already solved in a way, as I had just rescued a small black kitten. I missed my cat so much, but I found it helpful to foster the new kitten for the local Cat Adoption Team. The month before, I had decided to adopt her myself. After Penny died, I called her my ‘Little Gift from God’.”

Rescuing a cat who needs a home may be one of the best ways to cope when you miss your cat. Fostering or adopting an abandoned animal may give you a sense of purpose, and may help you look beyond the pain of your present grief.

6. Learn different ways to cope with your cat’s death

how to heal after losing your petWhen you miss your cat, you may not want to allow yourself to feel the pain of grieve. Unfortunately, the only way to heal is to go through the pain until you come out on the other side.

Read How to Heal Your Heart After Losing Your Pet: 75 Ways to Cope With Grief and Guilt When Your Dog or Cat Dies, for support. I interviewed veterinarians, grief experts, and pet owners about healing after putting a beloved pet to sleep.

It’s true that time does ease the pain of missing your cat, but it’s also good to learn what helped other people cope with the pain. For example, I talked to one pet owner who got a paw print tattoo after putting her dog to sleep. I wouldn’t have thought of getting a tattoo of a cat’s paw on my ankle, but she said she is comforted every time she sees it.

7. Welcome another cat into your home – when you’re ready

“Last January we had to have our beloved cat, Janvier, put down,” says cat lover Jessica. “He was suffering from renal failure, and the treatment would have crushed his spirit and terrified him, so we made the hardest decision of our lives. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss having my first baby around. It’s pathetic, but we haven’t even gotten rid of his kitty litter (it’s clean!) or his leftover food.

I still think I can hear him puttering around at night. We have two young children and insanely busy lives, so we haven’t adopted a new cat yet. We feel like we wouldn’t be able to give him or her enough attention at this time, which would just not be fair. I really believe that having a new kitten would help us survive our cat’s death. I also think that bringing a new pet into our lives would help us honor Janvier, by constantly reminding us of the cute and funny things he used to do. So I hope that one day soon-ish, we’ll open our homes to a new pet both to help heal our hearts and so our children know the joy a cat can bring to a home.”

“There is something about the presence of a cat that seems to take the bite out of being alone.” ~ Louis J. Camuti.

If you’re thinking about opening your heart and home to another cat, read Should You Get a Cat After Your Cat’s Death?

8. Imagine your cat being held by an angel

When Your Cat Dies Ways to Cope With GriefThe Willow Tree – Angel Holding a Cat With Affection is a beautiful symbolic way to remember your beloved cat. I always find it comforting to think of the cats I lost as being in Heaven, resting in peace, their souls intertwined with the angels’ and my other lost loved ones.

Think of your kitty being held in the arms of an angel; feel the peace and love and acceptance that comes with the thought of your cat resting comfortably. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or if you can prove the existence of Heaven. It doesn’t matter if cats have souls or not…all that matters is the comfort you’ll feel when you think, “I miss my cat.”

Your stories and thoughts about grief and your cat’s death are welcome below. I can’t offer advice, but it may help you to share memories of the beloved cat you lost. Your experience will also help other cat owners cope with the pain of their cat’s death.

If you’re a believer, you may find How to Find God and Mend Your Broken Heart helpful.



What's going on in your life? Tell me below!
I don't give advice, but writing can bring healing to your spirit and soul.
Take heart, keep the faith, have courage ... Laurie


590 Responses

  1. Herea "rea" says:

    My cat Sheba celebrated her 17th birthday on January 1 2017 and she died January 9 2017.I got her when she was 18 months old and loved her so much that her passing is affecting my health and ability to function and do normal things at home without breaking into deep grief and depression.I don’t want to feel this gloom anymore and wish I will have a way of easing the pain which is almost unbearable sometimes I could hardly breath.She was a dsh tortoiseshell with white in the tummy area shape like a bikini.She has tortitude as many describes her,intense, unpredictable,protective of me, choosy with whom she befriends, sometimes nasty as she used to try to kill my arms and loves music.When I play instrumental music especially Where Do I Begin (Love Story) she closes her eyes as if she savors the sweetness of the music.When I’m browsing the internet she will sit on my lap and she loves me to sing I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You.When I stop singing she will meow and touch my face if she wants me to sing more for her.I missed my baby so much I can’t stop crying even now.

  2. Mary W. says:

    February 16th I lost my beautiful blue eyed fluffy Siamese mixed cat, Sirach, to kidney failure. He was diagnosed last April and he was very, very close to death, but with the help of my veterinarian and vet tech we got him stabilized. He needed fluids, and medications which were a few uncomfortable minutes of the day, but he was still very much his dignified, happy, sweet natured, mischievous self. He went down hill in November, with anemia coming on and we added more medicines which he bore well, but I saw him getting much weaker and thinner. He had little appetite and he began hiding when he knew he was getting medicines or fluids. Thankfully, he was still pretty engaged in life and enjoyed being with us and being brushed and his kitty treats. The week before I made the decision to euthanize he ate almost nothing, wanted to be alone and sort of looked at the wall for minutes on end. He was uncomfortable. He was sitting on my desk, as he so often did, I brushed him and he rubbed his face against mine and he turned from me. I knew that medically there was nothing more I could do. Being a horrid worrier I’d anticipated this moment for a long time, as I knew there was a point when you can’t keep cats in kidney failure going forever. I told him I wouldn’t let him suffer any longer and that I’d meet him again on the other side. I have another cat and a dog and I love them dearly, but Sirach was my closest companion. He followed me to do laundry and make the bed, was the first to greet me at the door when I came home. He was placid and gentle and swished and poofed his tail. He calmed me and brought me joy and laughter for so many years…………these past 10 months or so weren’t easy, he required a lot of coaxing to eat and I think giving the meds and fluids grieved me more than him because when we were done he’d just walk away and generally wait for a treat; I cried a lot after poking him to give fluids. I simply miss him so very much and am so grateful I was able to keep him with me with a good quality of life for so many months. I know the raw grief will eventually pass, but I feel so empty without him. I’ll give more of my time to my other buddies and try to, have to, move on. So, I share your pain and sadness and send prayers and thoughts your way for healing and peace. Thank you for reading, letting the hurt go in words helps a bit……

  3. Kendall-x says:

    My beautiful British blue cat died suddenly while I’ve been away on holiday, he was left with my dad and on the Thursday, the day we went away my dad came home from work to find him by the front door passed out! Can’t get my head around the fact he was fine in the morning and the day before. Just wish I was there when it happened and got to say goodbye 🙁 feel so guilty I love him so much and miss him already

    • Mary W. says:

      So sorry, I understand how much you must hurt, Cats seem to hide when they are not feeling well. I’m sure the vet told you there was probably little you could do. I know mine was ill and I had to make the decision, but still had the guilt.

  4. Melanie Theakston says:

    Yesterday, 11th Feb 2017 we put our sweet little Meg to sleep. She was 21 years old and we’d had her since she was 8 weeks old. I miss her so much and expected to do so. It hurts so much, just as expected and i will keep thinking of her for the rest of my life but as time goes by i know i will hurt less and less. She was a lovely sweet little cat – the runt of the litter and she outlived our other pets. She never killed any creature except this massive spider in the bath. She was too heavy footed and yet she was so small. She loved cooked chicken, her favourite. She was my cat and never left me alone when i was at home – she slept on my lap, slept on my head and slept under my duvet. Not having her around has left a huge hole in my heart. It will heal with time and life does go on but i wanted to share my story.

    • Dawne Temple says:

      Your lovely Meg sounds like my beloved Meow Meow who died September 12, 2016 at the age of 17. She also was my constant companion and I still miss her every day. Meg had a wonderful long life with you. Hugs to you as you cope with the loss of your beloved family member.

      • Melanie says:

        Thank you Dawn for your reply. It’s very comforting to know you’re not alone with your grief. Thank goodness for sites like these. Melanie

    • eric says:

      Melanie my cat duchess lived till she was 22 years old I had to put her to sleep jan 31st ill never forget her. my place is very empty without her.

  5. Antoine says:

    My 12 year old cat Big Pimpin passed away today while I was at work. I came home found him in my bedroom. It’s the worst feeling in the world. I cried, my momma cried. I knew something was wrong as soon as I walked in the house, because he always greets me at the door. This was the first time he failed to greet me.

  6. Cherie says:

    This morning I lost my best friend….Hemingway…Hemcat…Scoobie. He was only 4 years old and seemed pretty healthy. He was an indoor cat. I got him at 6 weeks old for my son almost 5 years ago. He spent a lot of time with my son and followed me around like a dog. He slept with me, sat with me, listened to me, cried with me and reached out with his paw to touch my face to make me feel better. He offered me companionship that I greatly needed because I am newly retired and have been ill. I looked forward to life because of Hemie. He passed away very quickly and we don’t exactly know why but the Vet thinks it was heart related. I know time helps all grieving but this hurts so much more now

  7. eric says:

    my 22 year old cat duchess died a week ago, I had her put to sleep, I could not be selfish about it. not a day goes by that I don’t think of her, she was my pal my best bud. she was there through all the hard times I had. ive been through a lot of hard times in my life and I must say this is one of the most difficult times for me. still have her food, water, and litter box the same exact way it was the last time she was here. anyways I miss her dearly.

    • denise gorman says:

      I haven’t slept in my bedroom since Dec 23 when I put to sleep my Charles and I still am missing him so much I feel like I am fighting a bad depression. I’ve lost other pets, but I’ve never been affected so much as the loss of this one. So grateful to have shared time with him, but still grieving so much in my heart

      • eric says:

        denise, I know how you feel. and time will heal you, but you will never forget. there is not a day that passes that I don’t think about duchess, I miss her a lot. she was my pal.

  8. KELLY Almberg says:

    My cat Princess Lea,yes from Star Wars. she add a brother named Darth Vader, yes Star Wars, when the movie came out. Had Darth, for about 3 months until he got out from the opened window.And died from a car crash. Since then we have had Princess to take care of. for 15 years. Yes very old.
    she died on
    Sunday right after the game. We buried her in the backed yard that night.A long time to have a cat and a friend, even opened the bathroom door when you did not close it all the way
    I miss her already….

    • Joanne says:

      Our cat, Midnight, moved in with us on Superbowl Sunday 10 years ago. We called it “Mid-iversary” since then. He was only 11, but he had cancer and we had to let him go in December. It’s still hard. I found writing about him and the crazy things he did helped. For example, he liked coffee and would drink it if left where he could reach. I hope the memories of good times bring you comfort.

  9. Mirella says:

    I don’t think I’ll ever get over the pain of missing my cats. I adopted two little kittens – they were brother and sister – 10 years ago. They both cut a virus, and died within a week of each other. This was six months ago and I’m still not ready to get another cat or kitten. Maybe one day I’ll adopt again but right now I still feel the pain of not having my cats around.

    Articles like this do help me cope with the loss of my cats, but nothing will replace actually having them in my home and life.

  10. Tori says:

    Tonight I lost my beloved cat Earl. I rescued Earl from the outdoors when he was a kitten, he was the softest orangest little thing and he didn’t stop purring for hours after I found him. hell, I don’t remember him ever not purring in the four years I had him. Earl was my best friend, and helped me through some of the darkest times of my life. The times whereI had nothing, at least I had my Early cat. He was the real reason I kept on going. This morning he was laying in his chair in the dining room, with the sun shining on him keeping his fat fuzzy belly warm. i kissed him on his nose and went about my day. Later around lunch time he lounged in bed next to me and O loved on him for a few minutes. i didn’t know that would be he last time. Tonight he didn’t come home for his can of food around 6 as he always does. My boyfriend had just came back home and I asked if he saw him in the dining room or if he had eaten any of the food. That’s when my boyfriend told me that my kitty was hit by a car in front of the house, and I was 30ft away when it happened and didn’t even know. We buried him in the back yard under a fountain, I couldn’t move for about an hour and I’m still crying. I loved him as if he were my baby.m, he was my guardian angel. I don’t know how I will go on, I don’t want to forget him but it hurts too much to remember. Love you my angel Earl

  11. Aparition42 says:

    Yesterday Nemo the cat was strong, healthy, and active for a thirteen year old. Today, while playing, he suddenly lost the use of his hind legs and was clearly in pain and terrified. By the time we got seen by the vet his back legs had no feeling or circulation and he was losing one of his front legs too. Saddle thrombus embolism. Nothing they could do for him.

    He was four when he came into our lives. Old for a shelter cat competing with kittens for attention. I didn’t even really want a cat at the time, but the children and wife practically begged. I put my foot down about kittens though. Too much effort and responsibility for my then young children. Nemo, though, he was already litter trained, and had all of his shots, and the way he just relaxed into my arms and purred and the way he rubbed his head on the boy’s hands gently guiding them to just the right spot for scritches… He was exactly right for us. I still told the boys (and my wife) that I would NOT be cleaning litter boxes. That was a lie, though, of course. The first night, after a bit of reluctance and patrolling, he hopped up on the couch and curled into my lap. From that moment, despite all my bellyaching, He was MY cat.

    We had each other for nine years. We played with toys on string, and electronic mice that chirped. We sat and read to the children at bedtime. When I gave him wet foods, he would meow in a certain way that sounded like he was saying “tuna”. He liked to watch youtube videos of birds and squirrels. We moved twice. He was there for the boys when they missed their old friends. He was there for my family while I had to go away for long periods for work, and he was there for me when I came home. Tonight, for the first time in nine years, he won’t be.

    This isn’t the first time I’ve lost a pet, but it has still hit me harder than I could have expected. At the vet, and later as we held a small burial, I had to be strong for my family who all love him and miss him just as much as I do, but I also wanted to break down and have someone else be there for me. Yesterday, Nemo was the one I could count on for that.

    I believe that where Nemo is now is all warm sunbeams and wet foods and deep scritches behind the ears. There’s no more pain, fear, or confusion. No more ache in his aging bones making it hard to get up on the couch or the bed. I should be happy for him.

    I should be, but it’s hard, because my lap is cold.

    God bless you all and all of our four-footed friends that have gone before us. It does help me to talk, even if I don’t know that anyone is listening, and it helps me to know that even though I’m lonely, I’m not alone.

    • sam says:

      My Millie left me on 04/01/2017 but as I posted earlier I reluctantly like you let her join our family, more fro my two boys, but before long she was my cat. I take comfort in talking about her and posting and like you I was not sure if anyone was listening but people on her have responded and made me feel so much better.

      I take comfort that my Millie is jumping and leaping in a big meadow chasing butterflies and birds.

      I too had a burial with her toys and her favourite blanket and had a gravestone in her name place.

      I still have a little cry every now and then but the pain has got easier I pray it gets easier for you too.

    • Flattskat says:

      I am so, so sorry for you loss. I understand how heartbreaking it is to lose your little kitty it such a sudden way. I lost my beloved Murphy on Jan 15, 2017, just two weeks ago. It was a normal morning, very snuggly. I didnt have to be at work until noon and as usual me and Murphy were awake and had been snuggling and playing with his little toys in the bed. He liked to sleep under the covers with me, especially when it was cold. It was a little bit of a chilly morning and he was snuggling under the covers with me just purring as loud as he could. Such a happy babe. He got up and went to drink some water and eat and then was on the floor by the foot of the bed giving himself a bath. I looked at the clock and saw that i had twenty minutes left before i had to go to work so i decided to pick him back up and put him in the bed with me just for a little bit longer. I got up to get him and flopped back on the bed with him and put him under the covers, nothing abnormal, this is our daily and nightly routine. Im laying there and not 5 seconds later he starts to lick his little lips so fast and I think that maybe he has to throw up because sometimes he would get hairballs and he always licked his little lips really fast when he was about to throw up. I looked at him and could tell something was wrong he was so stiff and he looked in pain. I panicked and woke up my boyfriend and he panicked as well. I thought maybe he was having a seizure so i immediately scooped him up to run to the vet without thinking about it and was holding him close to my chest and told my boyfriend he was having a seizure. He started yelling at me to put him down so i laid him on the floor and he stretched out and threw his little head back and let out a meow/snort and that was it. He was gone. The whole thing lasted like 10 to 15 seconds. I am in a panick and I scoop him back up and I remember his little body shivering so maybe he was still alive I dont know i was so out of it with panick. I run downstairs holding him to my chest i didnt even have shoes or socks on i was in my pajamas but I didnt care. I got down to the parking lot by my car and i looked down at his little face and his eyes were wide open with his little tounge out and i just lost it crying and screaming that he was dead. I thought i had killed him by laying down or picking him up because it didnt make sense he was just fine. He was just having a little bath. I decide to rush to the emergency vet anyways just in case and there was nothing they could do. The vet told me it sounded like he threw a clot and had experienced sudden death through it. I have never been so broken. She said it could have happened at any time and it could have happened when we were at work at he was alone. It doesnt make it any easier. I know he didnt suffer because it was only 10 seconds. The vets always say he is so healthy. He was eleven and was born in my closet in Alabama when I had just turned twelve. I am so hurt and upset and i dont know what to do or how to go about this pain. He has been my bestfriend my buddy my child for eleven years and the pain is so real. I just keep thinking what if i didnt pick him up how much longer would he have lived. I wonder if he thinks i did something to him. I dont know and i cant unsee it and i feel so guilty i miss him so much.

      • Sam says:

        Poor you.. I know it doesn’t seem like it but the hurt does get less with time and slowly the more happier memories come’s awful to feel that somehow we caused our little fur balls to pass on …. but deep down inside we must console ourself in that it was meant to be…. and nothing we could have done or done differently would have changed the outcome

      • Mary says:

        Dear Flatskatt, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved kitty and the way he passed. You know the vet was right and there was nothing you could have done. You comforted him and were there and he felt your love. I know I did everything I could do for my guy and intellectually am sure I did the right thing by euthanizing him, but the guilt is awful. You did everything right, it was a shock to your system and “eventually” life will get better. I’m sending good thoughts your way. I am so sorry.

    • Face says:

      Aparition 42, I could feel from your writing how much you love your cat. You’re an awesome person. Your cat was lucky to have you. Nemo was aware of that.

    • SHERI WRIGHT says:

      i heard you. thank you. i’m in pain now over the loss of my cat of 16 years. He passed on Jan. 24, 2017

    • Mary says:

      I read what you wrote about Nemo and what so many other people have written. I agree the loss makes you so lonely, but knowing others share that loss helps.

  12. Bonnie R. says:

    Our beloved cat – Pretty Kitty – died a week ago and I miss her so much. She was a huge part of my life, my best friend, my first cat. I didn’t know the pain of pet loss could be this bad. Things happened so fast, she was five years old and suddenly stopped eating or drinking water. Pretty Kitty was crying and moaning. I took her to the vet and they were unsure what was wrong with her. They sent her home on painkillers and said to bring her back the next day if whatever it was didn’t pass. I took her back the next day and the vet hospitalized her. They thought she had pancreatitis. She was put on a drip and given painkillers and other meds. The ultrasound showed fluid in her stomach and her intestines were distended. The veterinarian decided to operate to see if there was a blockage.

    Pretty Kitty had been anesthetized for the operation when she had a bloody stool movement. The vet decided it was gastroenteritis. My cat started going into heart failure, her lungs filled with fluid. She was in an awful lot of pain and was unlikely to get better. We had to let her go. She must have been so scared and alone. I am heartbroken because I miss my best friend so much, and she had to experience such pain.

    • Sam says:

      So sorry to hear of your loss bonnie. I lost my Millie on 04/01 this year to sudden illness too they thought it was meningitus or cancer. I had to let her go. Not a day goes by when I don’t think of her …. but please feel assured the pain does die down and the happy memories take over… I take comfort that she’s playing In a big garden somewhere free from illness and pain

  13. Jennifer says:

    Than you for your advice ,lost my Rosie just over a week ago and really miss her . I was the person in our family she would come too greet first , so hard coming home from work with out my little pal to greet me , and she would be the only one to come downstairs with me in the morning , we kind of understood each other , have cried almost every day since she passed away and I try to hide my greif from the rest of the family as they seem to have got over her already.

    • Aparition42 says:

      My cat, Nemo, and I were much the same, being the only ones awake early in the morning. It was our special time together. On the rare days I got to sleep in, he would insistently wake me up anyway as though he was worried I’d be late for work. I can’t believe how much I’m going to miss him waking me up at five in the morning on a Sunday.

      God bless you and Rosie.

      • Jennifer says:

        Thank you god bless you and Nemo xx saw a black cat much like Rosie today in the street as I was walking to the shops and she waited and let me strike for for a while , made me smile but also sad for my Rosie x

  14. Rich says:

    Thank you for writing this wonderful article. I guess, in a way, I needed to find something that would help me grieve. My little boy was about to turn five in two or three months and he passed today suddenly of a blockage. I thought he had turned a corner last night when he started moving around the house again and I had found pee in a box he had been laying in, then this morning when I got up he was yowling. I went to him, he gave me a soft mew and he passed. I’ve never been so devastated.

  15. L Glass says:

    Thank you Ann. I needed to hear what you had to say. You are right. I am not over-reacting to the loss of my cat. Your comment about “sometimes people just aren’t as adorable”, was what I needed to hear and why I have grieved. My cat was adorable and he will have a special place in my heart forever. Thank you so much.

  16. L G says:

    I had to euthanize My Kenny. He was 18. I rescued him from a shelter when he was 2. My heart is completely broken. He was a smart one. He would actually try to ‘talk’ to me in two syllable sounds. He knew me well and I knew him the same. He was my magnificent cat. My sweet “pinky, pinky, nosey nose”. I have been crying every day since I had to take him to the Vet for the last time. This is crazy. He was a cat, not a person, but he meant so much to me. I miss my Kenny.

    • Anne says:

      So sorry to hear of your loss. A cat can mean almost – if not the same – as a person. They were another living creature who you shared a bond and your life with. I lost my own wee one just a couple of weeks ago but I still feel myself crying out for him as we depended on each other for so long. It’s not crazy to have loved your wee Kenny or to miss him so bad. Sometimes people just aren’t as adorable. You had him for a very long time and must have shared some lovely times together. These you can treasure forever and cherish in your heart. He had a lovely, caring companion in yourself and I’m sure will look over you from afar just as you did when he was near. Feel for you and sending warmest hugs. x

    • Jennifer says:

      I know my Rosie used to have different sounds for hello, thanks for letting me in and can I have a treat please , miss her so much x

    • Aparition42 says:

      I just went through a similar experience with my cat Nemo. I swear he said “tuna” when he wanted wet food. He also had a special call for “where are you guys” when he woke up alone after his late-afternoon nap. He meant more to me than 90% or more of the people I’ve met in my lifetime, and I don’t think we should feel at all embarrassed or apologetic for mourning our dear friends. It isn’t crazy. It makes perfect sense to feel more strongly about the loss of a companion that has closely shared your home and your life for many years than you would feel about a relative you barely knew. I think the truth is that most people feel the same way even if they don’t like to admit it.

  17. Mournful says:

    Found my 5 year old Calico in the street early this morning. It doesnt make sense, she was terrified of cars. Still halfway in shock. She was warm and soft when I went to the store. Now all the little joys, the only joys throughout my day are gone. How stupid of me to pin so much happiness on a well trained, well nurtured animal. If I ever attempt to replace Ms Shadow, itll have to be a lazy one because I’ll never let it outside.

    • Suzanne says:

      I am so sorry for your loss. We had to put our beloved cat Georgie to sleep early Sunday morning as found out suddenly that he was dying of leukemia. He was my baby. He was everything to our family. He was my companion when I had anxiety. I’ve been crying for two days. I don’t know how to move on. I don’t want to. I heard him kicking his fur this morning and felt him jump on the bed, even though I know he’s gone. I take comfort in knowing he’s still with me.

      I hope you are doing ok. I stumbled on this site tonight looking for answers to the kicking I heard. You lost your kitty today and that makes me sad for you. I’m sending you virtual hugs for your loss.

      Gather pictures. That’s what I’ve been doing since yesterday. I made a 53 page photobook of my Georgie. It helped some.

    • Celeste says:

      This hit me hard because that’s exactly what happened to my 18 month old orange tabby. He was like a person to me. Never had a cat so full of personality and so sweet but smart & feisty too – he loved to tease our border collie. I never saw him get anywhere near our street. We had to take a trip to visit our kids once and we were gone for 2 weeks and he was waiting on top of my husband’s truck when we got back looking like he was running the place. He came in and slept with me every night. He hated to be inside all the time probably because he showed up at our door as a stray kitten. I was in shock too when he got hit. He was just in the house half an hour before and then my neighbor knocks on the door with the horrible news. Ugh! I cried for weeks and still get teary eyed. This happened nearly 3 months ago. I’m cat sitting for a friend right now but she’s not allowed out. But she’s not the fun and loving type that my sweet Thomas was. Kind of sweet but a little stand off-ish. They all have such different personalities. It’s tough. Hugs!

  18. Jeanette says:

    I lost my baby girl a couple days ago. She was just turned 10. I noticed she wasn’t acting like herself one day (she would always great me at the door when I came home and run my shoes). My boyfriend noticed she hadn’t touched her food. I made a vet appointment. Vet said she had autoimmune hemolytic anemia and treated her for it. She had to stay at the vet for treatment but I went to visit her every day. At first she seemed better, more active and even tried to climb on my back like she would always do. She still wouldn’t eat though. The vet did another blood test and her levels were all good except her bilirubin. He did a biopsy of her liver and found she had fatty liver disease. Started her treatment and he seemed confident she’d recover. I made the mistake of getting my hopes up. I kept visiting her. We planned for her to come home the second day after her surgery and he’d give my instructions for her tune feedings. The night before she was supposed to come home I saw her and gave her a kiss. She was having trouble moving but was vocal and they said it was affects of medicine. Vet called in the morning leaving a message saying she had crashed and he was on his way to her. By the time I called back (about 30 minutes after his call, soon as I saw the message) she was gone. The terrible part is I think it’s my fault. One of the things that can cause the autoimmune anemia is an overreaction to vaccines, and she got her first booster shot a couple weeks prior. I keep thinking what if I never did it? Would she still be here? I miss my little furry dumpling. Now I have no fur babies. I don’t remember ever not having a pet. It’s so hard.

    • Sam says:

      So sorry for your loss Jeanette remember when my Millie died I blamed myself all the time … what if had got her medical attention earlier… what if I left her to get better herself? What if I had taken her to the speacialist hospital earlier? What if I had kept her indoors? What if had this and what if I had that? I scoured the internet spoke to cat owners vets anyone just to try and kind answers to the guilt i felt. Eventually I settled on the basis that my Millie’s time had come and nothing I could have done or done differently would have changed the outcome… I get peace in the thought that she has crossed the rainbow bridge… happy and out of pain … looking down on me and smiling at my pain …. telling me that she is happy and that I should be too. I pray and hope you get your peace too….x

  19. Andrew says:

    She wasn’t really my cat.

    Currently stuck at home for some months, miserable. She was a friendly stray, dad doesn’t allow pets. Kept her inside when they went on vacation though, liked her company. Relaxed me, named her blossom.

    Got her food, a litter box. Even when they came back I’d bring her inside, old enough that dad doesn’t bother me as long as she doesn’t stay. I couldn’t keep her inside all day, not even a litter box. No pets, family said.
    But she did learn to grab my attention so I could take her outside when she had to go lol…

    I’m a failure, I mess everything up. day she seemed to limp slightly, didn’t seem serious, thought it a sprained muscle or something. Then she disappeared, two days later I was already up in the morning and was asked to take my sister to school, on the way I heard loud noises from the front.

    Back home I didn’t look, dad said he found a cat under the hood. I blame myself, obviously. Maybe if someone else took my sister to school, or if I heard something before getting in the car, which I didn’t.

    I was in denial at first, thought it could have been another cat. I knew blossom, she always stayed near the front or back doors, no reason to hide there, wasn’t that cold either…Still, never came back.

    Even though she was a stray she still chirped and head butted and fell asleep deeply near me. All the signs of affection from cats. I really miss her, I had a lot to be miserable about these past few years, still do. She made things slightly less miserable. It was an accident, still my fault.
    I’m a horrible being.

    • Sam says:

      I feel your hurt and guilt but you were at the mercy of your own situation. It’s very difficult not to blame ourselves but we know deep down inside we would do anything to help our little loved ones but sometimes fate has its own plans and we become blind to what we should do not in anyway our fault. You took her in and those moments you had her for would have been as comforting for her as for you. Nothing you could have done would have changed her fate that’s what I believe so please try take comfort on those happy memories you have of her coz that’s what she would have wanted

  20. Rachael says:

    Just lost my 12 year old black and white long hair. 3 weeks to the day before we lost our dog, Harry, after 12 years. They were best friends. Harry had epilepsy and Max looked after him better than any human could in terms of patience and acceptance. There is no other explanation other than a broken heart, he’d never had a day sick in his life! So sudden. So unexpected. Not sure what to do except cry. He was my baby 💔

  21. Jacob says:

    This is a very helpful article and the comments with stories and sympathies are very touching… maybe I can find some solace for my own enormous grief just sharing the story as others have done.
    I grew up in the country and I have had at least a dozen cats in my life. I had a “Christopher Robyn/Tigger” relationship with my first cat… she was with me from age 6 to 25. (ancient for an indoor/outdoor cat). I remember when she died… I was sad, but it was understandable. She was old and had a good life for being found in a drainage tile as a kitten.
    In Dec. 2014, my wife and I adopted a cat from a local shelter.. her name was Betty. She was probably about 3 years old, part maine coon and had been at the shelter a long time… no one petted her, no one looked at her… she didn’t even look up when people walked past. So we adopted her, and brought her home. Once we got her home her personality came to life… what a personality she had! We renamed her Calliope “Callie” because she was very vocal… usually not meowing, but the “purr-murr” sound a mother cat makes with kittens.
    Callie loved everyone she met… she was gentle and patient with small children and made best friends with my mother-in-law who detests cats. She was playful and very well behaved. She quickly bonded with both of us, especially my wife – who suffers from some serious health issues. There were occasions that my wife couldn’t get out of bed for months, and Callie would stay with her and would know when a my wife was about to have a relapse. Needless to say, of all the cats I’ve met in my life, she was very unique in temperament.
    Callie however had some problems right from the start. She was very sensitive to certain kinds of foods, she couldn’t tolerate any kind of flea medication (which is a problem in Florida).. she had constant problems with her GI tract. She would have several months of healthy times and then a month of time where we feared she wouldn’t make it through. We were lucky to have vets who were affordable, competent and caring.
    Yesterday she started acting funny in the morning, hiding in places she normally wouldn’t not go. Then late in the afternoon she started having trouble breathing and was very listless. We took her to the emergency clinic and they said she was severely anemic and needed an immediate transfusion. It was very expensive, but we didn’t mind if there was a chance that she could recover. They did the transfusion and reported at about 3 AM last night that everything looked good, she was lifting her head and at one point was walking around. We went to pick her up at 7 AM and the doctor said she had relapsed completely. We made the difficult decision to euthanize her. They brought her in and left the room for us to say goodbye – when she saw the two of us she started meowing very loud, then started purring and we whispered our love, gratitude and goodbyes to her. After about 5 minutes she looked into both our eyes and slowly blinked at us then her eyes went dark.. she died in my wife’s arms. It was almost as though she knew it was time and was waiting to see us. The vet came in and was surprised to see that she had passed already.
    I have suffered a great deal of tragedy in my life, but never have I been this sad. I am not the most outwardly emotional person and I have been sobbing all day. Her food and water is still out, her liter box is still there, her brush is on the counter and her toys are strewn all over the house… we can’t put those things away. We think we see her and hear her in the house, I still feel her rubbing against my leg and feel the warm spots where she’s laid. We only had Callie for 2 years, but the impression she made on my wife and I, and all the family and friends that met her was astounding. There are children in 4 states who just refer to any cat they see as “Callies”.
    To every other grieving soul out there… our prayers are with you. Follow the wise advice in this article and fondly remember your beloved cats… I’m convinced there is no more genuine bond.
    Thank you for endlessly enriching our lives Boo-Boo. Rest peacefully now. We miss you so much.

    • Suzanne says:

      Your story brought me back to early Sunday morning when we were at the emergency vet with our Georgie. Tests showed he was severely anemic, high white blood cells and a very enlarged right kidney. He’d started vomiting blood earlier in the day and was hiding in our closets which was out of character for him. After talking to the vet and learning he likely had leukemia or lymphoma we decided to put him to sleep. We spent time with him, loved him, told him how much we would miss him, and took pictures. He went to sleep in my arms. I too am hearing purring, licking and even felt him jump on the bed this morning. I woke my husband to tell him I thought I was losing my mind. He later heard purring too. I think Georgie is still here in spirit.

      I made a photobook and found that comforting. I hope that you and your wife are able to provide comfort to each other during this sad time. I can’t stop crying. I hope this pain eases soon.

  22. JJ says:

    Lost my baby last week, had her since I was 10, I’ve just got through the other end of cancer and had my fiancé left, it might sound stupid to some, but losing my Nipper is the most pain i’ve ever been through, i’m almost 22 now so it’s not like i’ve never dealt with pain or loss before, but this is different. from being bullied at school to getting over heartbreak, she always knew when I was upset and would comfort me. She hated any other human though, if they dared get too close they’d get a well deserved smack. She chose me and I was hers. All I want to do right now is cuddle her, but then I remember how I took her to the vet and told her i’d fix her, I was not expecting this to be so sudden. The only comfort I have is that she made three of the vets bleed on the way out (sounds harsh but that was just her). I just feel so alone now and I’m getting a growing hatred of any other human now I can’t share that with my cat. I can’t get the image of her limp body out of my head and it’s really affecting me. I can’t stop hearing her purr and I keep seeing her in the corner of my eye. It’s difficult to talk to my friends because I have a pretty normal social group, and they wouldn’t understand this. I feel like i’m going nuts but I know if it was the other way around she’d feel the same. I just don’t know how i’m supposed to cope

    • Michelle says:

      I’m so sorry. I can understand, yesterday morning my cat was alive and well and now she’s gone.

      I had a cat like yours as a child, he loved only my mother and me, and everyone else would be scratched for coming near him.

      I wish you all the best, you’re a survivor, your cat is surely proud of you and watching you from her little cloud.

      • JJ says:

        that means the absolute world right now, I just feel lost without her tbh, but yeah i’m sure she’s watching over me, if there was ever an angel of protection it’d be her

    • Sam says:

      I have read through so many of these posts now just trying to convince myself that I did everything I could for my little Mille who passed away on Wednesday 4th January 2017. Millie was a beautiful tortie who I reluntantly purchased as a pet for my youbg two boys but she quickly became my little girl. She was very adventurous and loved the garden. I used to watch her trying to catch butterflies jumping on her back legs and running around in the garden playing with her four cat friends. She loved to climb and run and jumped after the birds. She used to climb on the fence and tease the dog next door. Millie lived with me from the age of 3 months till 23 months. In that time she never had a cold runny nose or watery eyes. She never scratched my furniture or tore my curtains. She only ever vomited once and never bought up any fur balls. She never soiled my house. Once she was outdoors she completely stopped using her litter tray . She got ill on the Thursday before she died but it was not obvious she just climbed into her cat tree and slept but woke up for eating and drinking and only wenr out a few times .. I rang the vet who said it must be the cold weather keeping her in the house. But by Friday pm she was refusing to eat or drink or move. After tipping her out of her cat tree for forceably into her carry basket I went to the
      Pdsa hospital who said she had high temperature and gave her antibiotics and anti inflammatory drugs and send to take her back in 48 hours if she was no different. When I got back home Millie ate some food and went out which made me feel better.. I was due to travel tHat night to London but delayed till the morning. In the morning Millie was sitting on her favourite sofa and had two treats and I said good bye and left. My friend came in to check on her and kept reporting to me that Millie was ok but not eating or drinking. I rushed back on Sunday and took her back to hospital within the 48 hours they had said but her temp was still high and she was dehydrated. They admitted her and placed her on antibiotics and fluids but by Tuesday am she was more irritated and growling and still had very high temperature and was not eating or drinking I took her to my vet who ran bloods and an X-ray and advised her kidney was enlarged and her heart rhythm was high plus she was showing signs of neuro problems. I rushed Millie to a specialist hospital in Solihull some 50
      Miles away who ran an MRI and told me Millie’s brain was inflamed and it could be meningitus or cancer or coronovirous. They advised that steroids may help but her prognosis was not good. I allowed the steroids but she detoriated and died the following day. I was not with her and that kills me as I feel as if I contributed to her death by going to London and that if I had stayed I could have saved her and got her more medical help or at least sat with her but I know in my heart that if I had any idea she was so Ill I would have done things differently. I had her burial Friday last with all her toys and her blanket but I want her back I want to say sorry to her for that day I left her. I just don’t know what happened and how quickly it all happened. I feel she left me for leaving her when she was not well but god knows I would have not done so if I had any idea how Ill she was. I keep scouring the internet for answers but nothing really helps. I thought maybe writing this will help somewhat. I keep blaming myself that I dehydrated her and didn’t pay attention.

      • Anne says:

        Hi Sam

        So sorry to read about your pain and loss. I feel the same way. My little Meanie died at home early last Tuesday morning the 3rd. He was over 18 years old and I had him since a kitten. He was a house cat so we did everything together. He slept in the same bed as me every night and every morning, we would wake up together – he would do a little stretch and yawn – and then we would go into the kitchen to get breakfast together. Every day was a new dawn I shared with this beautiful creature. He was there to greet me when I left for work and when I came back at night. But that was only recently as mostly I have worked from home and we spent most days together all day long for many, many years. I also live alone so he really was sometimes the only person I would see or talk to for days on end. I didn’t realise how much I spoke to him all the time. I mean, if it was time for a cup of tea, we both went together. I would ask him how his day was going “What’s happening in catworld, Meanbo!”. Sometimes, he would answer me when I asked him questions…I would get the drift! I mean, he really was a constant companion. He would follow me about a lot and come running, a trot, when I called. Mostly he would sit on my knee when I tried to work at the computer. I am so heart-broken that he is gone. He was the best part of my life for a very long time.

        I had a flatmate for the last year and a half. She loved him too and he clearly loved her. When she left in early September, he seemed very depressed and did not hardly move from the same spot in her empty room for almost a week. I was worried as he was losing weight and eating very little but then I changed his food and he started eating normally again. He put a bit of weight back on and seemed to recover OK, going about normally, but was never quite as bouncy as before. I put it down to old age and believing that they do get a little scraggy at 18. However, in the last few weeks, he became more and more listless and seemed to be losing weight again and not eating very much. I finally took him to the vet the Thursday before New Year’s Eve. He had never been to the vet before as was never sick a day in his life – except one time when he ate a small piece of a burst balloon which he sicked up eventually!!! Last year, I wanted to take him for a check up after speaking to a vet nurse at a party who said I should just because he was old. The vet told me then that if there was nothing wrong with him, that there was no reason to bring him in – it would only be traumatic for him. And so I didn’t take him. He also had a couple of short seizures earlier this year which I phoned the emergency vet about but they said that unless it was often or prolonged, which it wasn’t, that they would not treat it and was not an awful lot to worry about. Now I feel I left it too long, a little due to this advice as I didn’t want to traumatise him, but also as I felt it was probably just usual signs of old age. He was purring away to the last so not apparently in any pain that might indicate a bigger or potentially fatal problem. However, I feel that I should have consulted more with professionals about these changes and insisted that they see him. Today, I feel like I should have took him in immediately when he first started to act strangely when my flatmate left. Even though he did appear to recover from this, I feel I should have done something more to check that his grieving was not in fact an indication of some other kind of illness that he could have been helped with.

        I was away nearby at a friend’s over Xmas though I came back to feed him. He seemed to loss weight dramatically over these couple of days and that’s when I finally decided to take him to the vet. They did some blood tests and most came back next day clear and healthy, kidneys, liver etc. However the experience was very traumatic for him. Some of the other tests have not come back yet. But it’s too late now. He died a few days later. I feel that I did not do enough to care for my friend and that I should have stayed with him and did more especially over Xmas. He should not have been left alone at all. He probably didn’t understand especially after losing my flatmate. I also feel the vets were a little lacksadaisical and didn’t seem overtly concerned. I was given no advice on what to do in the meantime. He was still eating and drinking quite a bit. I don’t know. Beside myself on what I should have done.

        He was very like a lot of the cats people have mentioned here. He was the most gentle and loving creature. He would go to anyone as he never knew what danger or fear was. I used to sing to him – ‘Wow!’ by Kate Bush, a particular favourite! – we would also dance a lot as he loved to be held up high and to stretch his body out long like a ballerina…He would even flop around my neck and hold on while we whirred around the room. Something about that gentle, flying movement he seemed to love. He also liked parties and socialising with new people. He even had his own Facebook with many of his own friends over and above my own! Anyway, Sam, I understand your heartbreak and feelings of guilt. Feel so ashamed of myself. Now that I’m sitting here without him, I’m looking around and surrounded by meaningless stuff, stuff of no consequence as I have lost my best friend and the companion I loved most in the world. Simply devastating.

        I suppose we will always feel we could have done more but eventually there is only so much you can do…maybe sometimes they just have to go…The only thing I can be thankful for is that Meanie died with me stroking him, comforting him, peacefully at home and did not have to go through any traumatic treatments or perhaps a dreadful long drawn out illness in a strange environment. On the vets behalf, Meanie was very resistant to being handled by them and would not open his mouth at all. It was very hard for them to try and examine him in all the ways they needed. Poor wee guy! He was always very, very natural. I never even put a collar on him as I felt that if he wanted to be dressed, he would have went out and got one himself! I think he knew he was just a little human and equal to everyone that ever came into my home. He certainly knew his own little place in the world and would tell me so frequently. I used to wonder how he could get in my bedroom sometimes when the door was closed. One day, I discovered, when he didn’t know that I was outside, that he was able to jump up and pull down the door handle in order to get in… I hope that we will both be able to get over our heartbreak and come to feel that we did as much as we could for our little ones. It is very hard to know what a cat thinks or feels. Meanie was so considerate of me and would let out a miaow if I even sneezed. He would keep me company if I was ill. The first thing he wanted when I would come home, over food, or anything else, was a hug. I hope that he will forgive me. He did not tell me he was in pain as he was always purring so I can only hope that he wasn’t. He slept with me the night before and we were together at the end. I know now that he was smarter and more loving than I ever realised. He will always be my guardian angel, my wee baby bear, and as I told him often “together forever and ever and EVER!!!” I put a little letter with him when I buried him on Saturday. I also read a poem which has helped me a little. Perhaps it might bring you some comfort too?

        Do not stand at my grave and weep;
        I am not there, I do not sleep.
        I am a thousand winds that blow.
        I am the diamond glints on snow.
        I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
        I am the gentle autumn rain.
        When you awaken in the morning’s hush
        I am the swift uplifting rush
        Of quiet birds in circled flight.
        I am the soft stars that shine at night.
        Do not stand at my grave and cry;
        I am not there, I did not die.

        I have come to believe over the last few days that all living things are one and that even when they appear to “die”, they are simply in transition to another form of life which we can cherish. They brought us so much joy, we owe them to try and carry it on. Kindest thoughts to you, Sam. So thankful for your story shared and all others on this page. We will see them all again in heaven. xx

      • Haerea "rea" says:

        Hi there Sam I feel the same as you are.I feel so guilty because I lost my precious Sheba midnight of January 8,2017.She was already showing signs of slowing down last 2015 when she was 15 years old.She eats little and vomits after she swallows her dry food whole cause she lost a lot of her teeth.But she still acts the opinionated, vocal,and demanding boss that corrects any mistake I do.I put up with all of these and now I know why she was like that,she was a dsh tortie and she has well defined tortitude.But I wont forget that she saved me from possible snake bites that entered my house last 2010, 2011 and 2015.She also sleeps with me but since she suffered bladder problems and cant hold her pee I didnt allow her to sleep with me anymore and that really bothered her so much crying all night by the door.I bought a cage for her and I put put clean pillows and blanket for her but she really prefers to cuddle with me or sit on my lap when Im sitting anywhere.Sometimes I dont allow her cause she stinks of pee and that is what Im guilty of.Now I regret that I wasnt indulgent of her wishes my Im suffering from guilt, regrets and deep grief.I cry all the time and I dont want to do anything around the house cause Im so depressed.

  23. Sarah says:

    I lost my cat Bogart yesterday morning… I work at the local animal shelter where I adopted my dog 8 years ago and then 2 years ago I met Bogart, a big, handsome 14 yr old cat who melted my heart! Before adopting this guy I always would say I’m more of a dog person but not anymore! I will always have a special place in my heart for my Bogie and once I heal from my sobbing and heartbreak I may find a space in my heart for another kitty some day! But right now I’m grieving and thankful for the wonderful 2 years we had together! I’m trying to not dwell on the pain of finding him in the cellar yowling in pain as me and my boyfriend held him until his last breath!
    It does help reading this article and hearing others stories and to share my experience so thank you for sharing and listening to my rambling as I deal with this heart wrenching pain.

  24. Michelle says:

    I just scrolled through all the comments because I need to talk about my cat.

    She was with me since March 25,2010, her birthday when we rescued her from a shelter… her mother had been a shelter cat also, that is why she still was so very young.

    She would have been seven next March, but today she died… it came suddenly, she had been so fine Health-wise. She was okay the whole day, ate a lot, jumped around outside, and at 8 pm suddenly she meowed loudly outside (she is usually quiet) and I looked for her. She was sitting there completely relaxed

    We went inside again and a few minutes later took another look because we had a feeling and there she was, looking at us helplessly. She could not move her hindlegs anymore and dragged herself inside

    I later saw that she had dragged herself all the way to the door, I’m sure she knew what was happening and did not want to die without seeing us one last time …

    We brought her box and she crawled inside on her own, knowing we only wanted to help her, and we drove 40km since that was the only vet open today

    She held my hand the whole time, and stopped breathing twice, and my mother and I knew what was happening but we tried to hold onto hope

    But when we came to the vet he showed us what was happening and why we have to put her down, because the alternative was that she would suffocate during the next twenty minutes…
    And we didn’t want that for her of course!!!

    We said our goodbyes. I told her I loved her and kissed her, and she looked at me in a certain way…

    My mum stayed until the end but I couldn’t, I couldn’t live with seeing her die and I’m so sorry. Please tell me if it’s okay, I just didn’t want my last memories her lying outside helplessly and dying..,

    Can anyone please tell me it’s okay? It’s only been a few hours and I’ve cried and cried, so has my mum, we loved her so much and it hurts so much!!!

    I miss her.

    I will love you always Minou.

    My baby…

    • Sarah says:

      Michelle, that is so terribly sad! I feel your pain and yes it is ok what you did… What matters is you were a good and loving cat mom while your kitty was alive. My sweet kitty passed away in my arms yesterday morning and I can’t get that image out of my head! I’m trying hard to think of him happy and healthy… I’m sure with time the pain will ease but right now it is unbearable! Chin up and try to stay busy with other stuff so you’re not consumed with grief… Need to keep yourself healthy as I’m trying to do too! It helps to talk to others that are going through this… Take care.

      • Michelle says:

        Thank you so much for responding! It means a lot.

        I’m sorry about your cat… I’m sure he/she was very happy with you.

        I loved her so much, when we got her I was just starting a levels, and now I’ve almost finished my bachelors… The past three years I’ve seen her a lot less than the years before that, at most once a month, and she always used to ignore me for a while because I couldn’t come over more often.

        I just wish we had had more time. It’s even worse for my mum, since she’s in the now-empty apartment whereas I have my own room…

        It’s hurting so much

    • denise gorman says:

      Hi Michelle, Of course it is OK! The love you showed her was through her time with you and she knows that. take comfort in that, please. We are all different and you said your goodbye.I am sorry for your loss and heartache. Denise

      • Michelle says:

        Thank you so much for your response!

        I was guilt-ridden ever since yesterday night but I just couldn’t. I take comfort in the fact that she didn’t suffer, and I know that my mum needed that final moment even more than I did…

        I loved my cat so much. I know she’s gone but I still think she’s going to sit on the window, looking in at us lovingly, it’s killing me at the moment

        Wishing you all the best

    • Haerea "rea" says:

      Michelle I feel exactly how you feel I just lost my sweet precious Sheba midnight of Janauary 8 2017 and I swear its the loneliest time of my life and until now In sobbing every now and then.It hurts so much yes it hurts so much I dont know how to console myself.I wanted this pain in ny heart to go away I wanted to rest from crying and missing her terribly I wanted to know why Im insanely sobbing all the time ,I want my Sheba back.

  25. This week I had my 12 year old tortoise shell tabby Gui-Gui put to sleep. She had kidney failure. With all the technology, money and research, why can’t vets do more for our beloved pets? She is survived by her two sisters and one homeless cat we adopted. I am an author and was writing the story of Gui-Gui’s mother (Coco, who died five years ago) when this happened. Christmas 2016 was made worse by the death of my mother’s dog a few days before I made that final trip for Gui-Gui and that my other half is away abroad as her mother was seriously ill. I am a 43 year old male who simply cannot get over the loss of little Gui-Gui. I have about 200 photos of her and about 2GB worth of video. Over nearly 13 years, that is a shambles. I should have taken more time to film her. I miss her so much. Don’t underestimate the loss of a pet. It is absolutely devastating. We will heal eventually, but I am wishing I could be with Gui-Gui, wherever she is now. A lonely Christmas and New Year. But maybe it is right that I feel this pain. She was a beloved cat and it is right that I miss her. I will write a book worthy of her and her mother. Blessings to you all.

    • Rosemary B says:

      John, I completely understand.
      I lost my kittyboy Pierro on November 18. This is the hardest Christmas celebration ever.
      (In October my mom went to Heaven. She was 93 and had the best life. I took care of her and dad for the past 3.5 years. Now I have my dad, and he is such a sweet brave dad)
      I miss Pierro so very much. He was only 8.5 years old. The first three days after his death, I was screaming and sobbing. The emergency vet in Leesburg, Virginia said he had lymphoma and his liver was damaged. He just suddenly got sick.
      I miss him so much. I am so grateful I have a loving husband that provides all of the hugs and pampering I need so desperately
      John, I will keep you in my prayers.

  26. The SPY says:

    For all of you who have lost a cat.. I understand. I had to put down my 18 year old male cat Friday, 12/23/2016. It was kidney failure, which isn’t uncommon for cats at the age when they are nearing the end. I hoped he could make it til Monday after Christmas, but it wasn’t meant to be. He was in bad shape.

    He’d spent 40% of my life with me. I appreciate every moment and know he wouldn’t have had it any other way. I think the old man chose to go during the holidays to make sure I never forget him.

    I have no guilt or regret about putting him down. I only have a loss, when I realize I don’t have to watch my feet when walking around. My mind still plays tricks on me and makes me stutter step to make sure I don’t step on him. Or maybe it’s his ghost 🙂

    The hole in my life with him gone is terrible, but I know he’d want me to keep moving forward with my life. He adjusted to many transitions during the period from my age of 28 or so to 46.

    The hardest thing was to make the decision to “kill” my friend. I just wish he would have died peacefully in his sleep, instead of making me make that call for him. The vet was very kind and said “what you are doing now is the last kind act for a very good friend..” 18 years is a very long time.

    Eventually I’ll feel better. Things will be normal again, but for now, I have to grieve. I have a family now, a house, and a stable career. He was there to see me grow from a young adult to middle age, and I took care of him for the whole time, as he took care of me.

    Please remember, if you’ve suffered a loss of a cat, that you can continue to make a difference.. if you choose not to get a new companion, you can make a contribution to your local animal charity of your choice. Remember, your beloved cat cost you money in food and possibly litter during their life.. that money can be spent to support your local shelter while you recover from your loss. Your love can be paid forward that way. I want to think that my old man cat would like to know that other cats would have the opportunities that he had.

    And as I sit here, thinking about 18 years of cleaning litter boxes and how much that stuff costs.. I don’t mind taking a break and paying someone else to do the dirty work until I’m adopted by a new furry partner. You all know that THEY adopt YOU…

    • Harriet says:

      Hi I’ve just read your sad story…my cat Larry has kidney failure but he also now has oral cancer..he’s still trying to eat & still purring..he’s 19 & for 14 of those years he’s been my best friend as he was about 5 when he came to live with us…and when you said it’s so much better for them to pass away peacefully st home you’re so right…now I have to make the hardest decision of my life & take him to be put to sleep at the vets…I can’t do it, nobody should have to do that, it’s do you do it? I really can’t cope ;(

  27. denise Gorman says:

    It’s Christmas. I had to put down my beloved Charles December 23. He was a rescue cat and we were only together 4 years. He was old and had thyroid and kidney problems for the past year and a half. I loved him more than myself. He was always there for me, and me for him. I remember all the wonderful time spent together except when he was euthanized in my arms with me kissing his head, I just can’t get over this memory. I can’t stop crying, it’s traumatic.

    • Rosemary says:

      Denise, I know how you feel. My kitty Pierro was the cutest kittyboy ever.
      He was hardly 9 years old
      I cannot stop crying either. It has been almost two months, and three months since my mom died. I feel like I have been stabbed in the heart and pushed down the stairs. I will pray for you. I know I need them too

      • Denise says:

        Rosemary, I pray your heart will heal. I’m so sorry for your losses.I hope you have the support and love from others to help you bear this pain. Again, my love to you, Denise

    • Denise, I am so sorry. I have been crying too. I made the decision to put little Gui-Gui, my pet cat of nearly 13 years down yesterday (27th December). Christmas is forever silenced now, I don’t feel I can celebrate it again. Remember the times you had and write down ten things you loved about Charles. It will ease the pain – eventually.

      • Denise says:

        Thank you, John. I am so sorry for your loss also. As someone on this forum said, there is never enough time with those you love. Christmas for me too will never be the same. Hugs and peace to you, Denise

  28. Christoph says:

    Today, no more than (now7) hours ago my mom broke the news to me that she found our cat Candy after dissappearing 4 days ago.. a life long friend above all since I was a kid, I’m now 21 years old and this is the first time I’ve ever felt pain run so deep. She lived a good long healthy life right up until the end even with her age, aside from her constant begging near the fridge, I could see her only as my little baby. obviously I knew this day would come but for the past, I don’t know how many months I was constantly reminded with the reality that someday Ill never hear her distinct purr lull me to sleep again or in general have her in my presence. I hated the thought, and tried to stay mindfull but in the end it made me give her the extra attention an older cat deserves and cherish every moment to the fullest before her passing. Even still nothing could prepare, It was still so unexpected. Other than the nornal signs of age, she seamed perfectly fine, full of life as always.. We live on a couple acres and shes known to stray off for a couple days. Even with the recent winter cold temps, the fact we live near coyotes and my recent anxiety about her age, my parents were the first to pick up on some dark vibes.. I wasn’t going to belive it, surely she would return home with a present on the door step or something…
    I just couldnt understand why now? So many questions.
    I have no words for what I felt when I first lifted that towel and saw her for myself. Frozzen stiff I couldn’t look her in her eyes, I wanted only to see her little nose poke out the towel as if in that moment she was only asleep. after hours of irrational thoughts and heavy emotions I can but now only reason it was simply her time and that she went peacefully on her own in the most appropriate way she sought fit.. under her favorite tree right beside the house.. It kills me; she was so close to me within thoes last 4 days and I never knew it… truly missing my cat is an understatement, She was a huge part of my life as I was hers and will never be forgotten.
    Just thought I’d share.
    RIP my sweet little kitty.

  29. Deedee says:

    My cat’s name was Paco. Paco passed on December 7th 2014. I feel I am no better today than I was then. It was very tramatic for me and I have been in therapy ever since. Paco have began to loose weight and lay around all the time. He lost down from 17 pounds to 12 pounds. I kept taking him to the vet for the last 2 years of his life trying to find out what was wrong. I had every test I could think of done and was always told everything was normal. Nobody was concerned about his weight loss, the vets said he is at a good weight! He was, but I was talking about the weight he came from –why was he losing weight. Once I had them to test him for anemia, same story was told his blood work was normal. This went on for 2 years me taking him back at least once a week trying to get him some help. Now this is a well know pet care place ( I am not at liberty to disclose, can only say it is a big well know pet place. )One night Paco had an episode whereas we had to rush him to the emergency hospital,he was found to have an enlarged heart, dehydrated and severly anemic. I took him back to the regular vet 2 days later to get some fluids to hold him over til we got him to a heart doctor the next day. Paco died that day. I was in shock, devastated and didn’t know what to do. I went and picked up his medical records after his passing. Not one time in the 7 years that I had been at this place had his blood work ever been included, this time it was! I compared it to the emergency room blood work and you can imagine the horror I felt when I found not only had he been anemic he had been for some time. Paco’s heart wore out from being so anemic and killed him. I turned in the place and the vets to the state boards. One of them was found guilty of not one time but twice of not treating him for the anemia. The vet even told me once ” stop worrying so much, he is a older cat ( 11 years old ) and that is what they do lay around. He had his blood work !!! The day I took Paco to get fluids he looked at me and meowed one time. I kissed him and told he we were going to get some fluids and that would make you feel better. I did not know my baby would not come home with me. Everything happened so fast I did not get to tell him bye. I do not work and am in the house most of the time. I am so depressed I have isolated myself from everyone, no one understands. They say you have 3 more cats. Please pray for me, I still can hardly bare to look at his picture, I feel I let him down. He brought so much joy to me and my heart is still in a million pieces. I am just going through the motions of living, but not living

    • Celeste says:

      DeeDee I felt a need to reach out to you. I definitely understand the feeling of guilt. I blamed myself that my sweet cat got out in the street and got hit by a car. This happened Nov 7 and I’m still torn. Paco had the best owner in you he could have. I don’t know anyone that would try every week to get help like you did. Paco knew you loved him. You are more aware of ensuring that you get good vet care. It will take a long time to feel OK so don’t put a time frame on your feelings. (Hugs)

    • Deedee says:

      Hey Celeste, Thank you so much. I guess in my heart I know I did everything I could. I just think why did I not take him somewhere else, but I had been there 7 years and they kept telling me everything was ok and I kept trusting them. To know the company still employs this vet is unbearable. I got a letter from the CEO of the company sending their deepest regret that this happened and the trust between me and the vet was broken, but still it does not bring Paco back. It’s just that I kept telling him mommy was going to make everything alright and the day I took him in, I did not get to say bye and I was to weak to go back and hold him while he went to sleep. I will soon be 57 and never had kids and he was a child to me. I just pray God hold my heart. Thank you for caring enough to help me. May God bless you. Sincerely Dee

    • Jennifer says:

      Hi Deedee I too just lost my cat, yesterday- she was almost 11 years old. She was my baby I loved her so much. I am in a tremendous amount of pain. She had been sick for 6 months and I thought that I would be able to deal with the fact that she was sick and dying and not feel so much pain after she passed but that is not the case. Her death was traumatic and I am completely heart broken- I find it had to do anything without thinking of her and “seeing her” all over the house.

      6 months ago I was 9 months pregnant with my daughter when I brought her to a routine check up and found out she was anemic. My vet informed me that anemia in cats is different than in humans – it almost always is an underlying cause for another problem in cats. In my cat she had a rare form of cancer in her spleen. We found this out by doing x rays and ultrasounds until we found the cause her spleen. They did a biopsy and found the irregular cells in her spleen. They told us she could have her spleen removed but that it wouldn’t really extend her life. we knew it was only a matter of time. They told us a month so we were lucky to have 6.

      She was bone thin and we were giving her appetite stimulants and steroids to help her. Eventually it was too much for her. I found her yesterday morning in her urine and slumped over and barely breathing…it was the worst thing I have ever had to witness. But I just pet her and told her it was ok to go to let go. (We had just come home from being away for Christmas and had planned on putting her down that same day because she was so sick). I am grateful she was able to let go in the arms of the person she loved the most. I just know she was waiting for me to come home to say goodbye. I am so devastated.

      • Deedee says:

        Hey Jennifer, I am so sorry for your loss. You sound so much like me. I can imagine your pain because it has been 2 years and I am still having trouble sleeping. What you said made me think. I thought too like the anemia had to be because of another problem but I could not get them ( vets ) to HEAR me! They kept saying Paco was at a good weight 12 pounds, but what made him go from 17 pounds down to 12 if his diet had not been changed, and to never know exactly what killed him is awful. I kept telling him I would find someone to help. I remember the day I took him in to be checked for anemia and was told to stop worrying so much. They had his blood work showing how severly anemic he was, and I am thinking why did I not just take him somewhere else, why didn’t I go with my gut. I did not add in my story that 2 days before Paco died he was at home and I knew he was dying, my heart did but head could not wrap around it. I called my cat friend and told her Paco was dying and she came and layed out in the ice cold sunroom with me because that is where he was. I covered him with a blanket and was watching the life leave him as his breaths got further apart.This went on for about 45 minutes and them all of a sudden he got up and walked back into the house. I started crying and thanking God, I told my friend I promise he was dying, so now I am thinking my baby would be ok. I finally slept in my bed that night, I had slept on the floor with him the last 2 nights. Something about when I got up I had a sickness in my stomach, I just knew I would find him in the livingroom dead. There he was sitting there looking at me, I said there is my baby and that is when I went to get ready to take him to the vet for fluids. When I looked down at the hall he just looked at me and meowed one time, do you think he was telling me bye??? I went and got him and put him in the carrier, I said I am so sorry mommy is taking you to the vet again, but we are going to get some fluids and that will make you feel better. We the vet came out and told me his body was shutting down and asked did I want to spend a minute with him, I was so shocked and devastated, I said yes, but as soon as he got in there he started panting so I knew his lungs was filling with fluid. I screamed for her and told her to take him. It all happened so fast I did not get to tell him bye. I was asked did I want to be with him and I said no. I could not bear looking at him dead and I feel so utterly disgusted with myself that I could not hold my angel while he went to Heaven. Dec 7th was 2 years and I am still in therapy. I don’t talk about him anymore to family or friends because they do not understand, they have real children, I do not and he was my everything. Can I get over this?? If the vets had tried to save him I think that would be more bearable but to take him for 2 years telling them something was wrong and they had the ability to help him and didn’t that is more than I can bear. I was even told once try and not get so emotional when something is wrong!!! God help me forgive and not hate them. It has been a real battle of depression for me. I am trying to be here for my other kitties but they can’t take his place. Once time about 4 months before he passed he was sitting on my chest staring at me and for some reason I said Paco you aren’t going to leave mommy are you?? I could not bear that please don’t leave me, it’s like deep down I knew he was. I want to give you a big hug for the loss of your angel. Is it better knowing what is wrong when thy die, or them dying and never knowing what was wrong. I am so greatful your baby held on til you got back. I pray God take that image of your baby away from you with her laying there. Thank you so much for caring enough to share with me. I have to say, what you said about underlying causes has helped me. My husband said maybe Paco had cancer and God didn’t want him to suffer, I guess I will never know, I just hope Paco knew how much I adored him and will miss him til the day I die. Please write me if you get really down, it does help to have someone to listen to your heartache especially when you know that they know how you feel. Maybe your angel has met my angel at Rainbow bridge !! dee

    • Haerea "rea" says:

      Dear Deedee I feel the same Im doing the motion of living but not living, I lost my precious Sheba after 16 years of being my friend, my protector, my sunshine and my joy.Words can’t describe the agony Im feeling since she died midnight of January 8 2017, which is the loneliest time of my life I guess I need effective therapy to function again and be interested to go on with life.

  30. David Beltran says:

    Lost my cat today millie I’m absolutely heart broken she was 18 months old adopited her and her sister lilly when they were three months old she sadly got run over as we decided to leave the window open because the previous night there was an accident in the kitchen we would always keep them in off a night I feel everyone sorrow on here unless u have a cat no one can understand the pain and grief I really don’t no how to go on at the moment so near Christmas as well I have to be strong for my children but I’m cut to pieces I feel everyone pain.

  31. nika says:

    I lost my 13-year old cat on Thursday, December 15th. It was sudden and unexpected. I left her playful and happy that morning at 9 am. I came home at 9 pm and she appeared to be asleep in her favorite spot on the couch, but she was deceased. You’d think I’d have peace since she appeared to go in her sleep, but I am feeling such terrible guilt and I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to know what my baby died from, but a portion of me doesn’t because I think it may be my fault. I’m sure it was heart failure, but I’m afraid it may have been connected to her hyperthyroidism. Last year she was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. I took her to the vet for a swollen cheek at that time; they did blood work and found she had lost 4 pounds, had dental disease and a hyperactive thyroid. We got the swelling down and her weight went back up gradually. She was eating normally and very happy. I was pretty good with her meds but not perfect. In fact, at this year’s checkup in September they said she was doing well, but her thyroid was just borderline hyper, not too much. They said a couple of does would get it back in order. I was given refills of her medication. The problem is she became very smart with the medication. she would no longer take it in a pill pocket, I tried different things like putting it in wet food, she’d figure that out too. EventualIy I had to force it down her throat which took several minutes, mostly ending in failure (sometimes finding pills on the floor she spit out later) and then her avoiding snacks altogether. This was too much to do twice a day. I figured she was vibrant and spry and had no symptoms so she was fine, I’d sit the pills aside until I figured out a solution (obviously very stupid). Eventually, I order a pill syringe with intent to give that a try. It sat around for two weeks before I finally took it out to remind myself that we gotta get back on this medication regimen. My cat died the next day before I had a chance to use. When she was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism the veterinarian no one told me what this could do, when I explained that does were missed here and there, no one every indicated the severe danger. They only ever mentioned lethargy and loss of appetite and weight loss which she had none of the last year. No one every said missing doses can kill your cat or cause another condition (heart failure). I’m not trying to transfer to blame, I know it’s my fault, but had I known this I would have spent hours trying to get my cat to take the pill. I loved her and I’m devastated. I definitely a good researcher and when I learned she had hyperthyroidism I looked up symptoms the heart was never mentioned (maybe I should have pulled more articles). Now that she’s died I see all types of comments about the connection between hyperthyroidism and the heart. I am truly devastated because this could have been prevented. I have no proof that this is what she died from, but it’s likely and I’m afraid I’ll never get over it. I know I’m blessed that she died in her sleep, had she lived longer it may have been more tragic, but none of this is making me feel better. I would have done everything to keep my cat here. I feel irresponsible and stupid. If it wasn’t for this, I think I could accept her death more. Someone, please help me. I thought my cat would live to be late teens. She was so vibrant. How could she be gone a couple of hours later with no symptoms or signs to speak of? I’ve been crying for 4 days straight. I’m in a lot of pain. My best friend is gone, she was my shadow. Wherever I was she was right behind. I spoiled her rotten. We had the tightest bond. How could I let her down over something so simple as giving her a pill twice a day. This pain will never cease if I don’t figure out how to heal it. Help!

    • nika says:

      I should also mention the pill avoidance was more for her than for me. It was traumatizing for her forcing a pill down her throat and often I did not know if it made it. I’m just so sad. Maybe I could have done something different.

    • Clarabelle says:

      HI NIka, since I posted on this website in an effort to help me recover from my cats death, I read all of the follow up comments that are all sad, and every so often one message rings home, like yours, so I know what you feel like and I can see exactly how it happened. I’m not a vet, but I also blamed myself for my cats death, and still do (he started wandering when I broke his heart by getting a second cat…anyway…all a long story), but all I can say is over time, these feelings numb and you can go through whole days without crying and pouring over details of her death, photos, memories….it will happen….and right now you are in the very very early stages of grief and probably in shock, but rest assured it won’t always be this raw and terribly awfully sad. Somehow the human body copes, and you accept the ending (although at no point in the beginning or the middle of your cats life with you do you ever expect the end to be so hideous).
      Maybe you should speak to the vet about the details, and then you can deal with what they say. I know you’ll have heard this a lot, but you tried and tried. I decided that after the death of my cat, which was probably the worst thing that has ever happened to me and left me devastated and unable to move on for months (I even shocked myself at how the grief took over me – hoping you don’t go through that!) – that love is never enough, you need knowledge too. But whatever the outcome of your decision making, you will get through this with time, and there will be good days and bad days, but remember how much that cat adored you – you were a GOOD owner. lots of love.

    • deedee says:

      I am so sorry for what you are going through. I only joined yesterday with my story of my baby, if you get a chance to read about my cat Paco you can see I too like you, feel responsible. Your cat knew she was loved more than you can say. I do not believe she would want you to live in this guilt. It’s your hurt putting the blame on you. I too will never know exactly what caused my cats death only what lead up to it. It has been 2 years for me and I am still struggling. Please know I will be praying for you, try not to fall into depression like I have. A big hug for you –dee

  32. Nicole731731 says:

    Feeling so lost and empty, had to put my precious Meme cat down on Saturday. She was 19 years old and I got her when I was 10 years old. She’s been through so much with me. Has truly brought my life such happiness and joy. I just feel torn and empty now. She was by my side every day and every night . Every single day when I would come home she would be waiting at the door. She loved me so much and I miss her so much and can’t stand to think I’ll never be able to hold her or see her again.

    • Alan says:

      Feel your pain so much. We lost our little sweetheart on the 7th December. It’s like a hole in your heart and the emptiness is shattering. As I type this, I feel a little better as I type this. But it will come back later and/or tomorrow. The feeling is still there, it’s just the level of the pain that comes and goes. It’s so awful though. I’d do anything to have him back. You keep thinking he’s out the back door and you glance over, or expect him to jump on the bed and cuddle up to you purring. It’s excruciating. Especially with the depressing dark evenings drawing in. You feel so lost and empty and still can’t believe that he’s gone. Miss all his little ‘traits’ as well x

      • Richard says:

        i join you in your grief, sorrow and pain. Not enough words to describe the feelings. Had to say goodbye to my beloved Pepsi cat and Smartie cat both within 1 week. Kidney..liver failure..diabetis…. So so difficult. Never cried as much in my life.

      • Sam says:

        Alan I share that thought. Keep thinking my Little Millie will appear in the garden or run through the cat flap any second she died 4/1/16 and all I keep remembering is the things she used to do the waiting I the window if I was late the stroking f her tail against my legs the little meoaw conversations how she used to curl up i her cat tree hide behind the curtains and sit and eat at her bowl don’t know if the void will ever go

      • Alan says:

        I’m sorry for your loss, Sam. It’s been a few weeks now since Oscar died. I suppose I feel a bit better, but not by much. It’s depressing how time goes and you feel closer away from him, like a distant memory. It’s still agony at times and hard to believe he’s gone. He was only nine, and didn’t think we’d have to worry about the pain of his death until at least a good five or six years further down the years, maybe even more! It’s awful. Keep imagining his little body at times down the vets in the cage, all distressed and dying. It’s tragic. I always thought about wearing his little collar on my wrist when he went. Again, I didn’t think it would be as early as it was. I’m wearing it now, and will never take it off. It isn’t much of a consolation. But I like to think he’s apart of me that way, and I am to him. We miss him terribly. Love him so much and would do literally anything to have him back. He was such a sweet little thing. Albeit, he could be a spiteful little git at times. 🙂

    • Kibushka says:

      I am also there, with this unbearable pain. My sweet cat had to be put to sleep on 11th December, too painful to go into detail. She was 20 years old, and we have been together for her entire life. I moved out to another country, changed the locations and houses many times, and I would never leave her behind. She has always been my most faithful companion. Since our goodbye, every day I have to confront a kind of a very painful “first time”. First time I come back home from work and she is not greeting me, 1st time I go to bed without her, 1st I wake up and she is not by my side. Last night it was the 1st time for me in 20 years, that I had to fall asleep alone in my own bed, my husband was out, and my kitty is not with me anymore. I had to leave the light on, as I was feeling so lost. I just can’t handle this void. I wish she could come and visit me, and that she is happy, my little Angel…

      • Pixie says:

        She is still with you and always will be. She chose to be with you and everything happened the way it had to for both of you. You have both been touched and changed forever by each other. I know it hurts and the loss feels insurmountable, but you will survive and have a new normal. One day, the barrier that separates you from each other will be removed and your spirits will find each other again and mingle together, never to be parted from each other for the rest of eternity. /hugs Your kitty is no longer here with you physically, but she is still there and she loves you and wants you to be happy.

    • Rich says:

      Nicole I hope you read this , December 6th 2016, I put my 19 y/o Nipsey down. (I had him for 16 of his 19 years) He slept on my pillow with me for all 16 years, we were together thru 2 long term relationships, and 3 houses…He was always here for me. I hope you find some comfort that Meme and Nipsey are over the rainbow bridge watching over us 🙂 God Bless

  33. Anchoret says:

    Lost our beloved Kitty yesterday, she was run over by a car, she was only 8 months and I’m devastated. I just feel its so unfair and that I’ll never see her again.

    • Aria Saremi says:

      I feel your pain. it’s tough! I lost my Cookie 8 months ago. he was 1 and hit by a car too! still miss him so much.

    • Celeste says:

      So sorry! Lost my 18 month old Thomas 4 weeks ago to a car hit and still miss him so terribly. He was the sweetest boy ever. (Hugs)

  34. Rich says:

    Yesterday we lost our little girl, Millie. Her death was violent and tragic, and I feel like my entire heart and soul has been ripped from my body. She was my best friend, daddy’s little girl. She was everywhere I was. Her mornings started with leaping onto me after the alarm began to sound. Shower time and getting ready for work involved Millie helping me. She would paw at me through the shower curtain and then insist on grabbing the hair brush as I brushed my hair into place. Each day when I got home, she would greet me from her afternoon nap, eagerly awaiting daddy’s arrival. At dinner she was always trying to see what tasty meal was on my plate, and would sneak a lick if I was not watching her. Millie was a constant presence when watching television, as she would plant her butt in front of the television so as to get attention by me having to get up to move her from the line of sight. She was ferocious with her favorite toy, a small orange fish, Fishy. She carried it all around, proud of her find as she would bring it to me. She recently found joy in bringing to me in my sleep a Buffalo Bills beenie, the kind with the fuzzy ball on top. Its only been twelve hours since she left us, but the pain I am feeling is undescribable. She was one of a kind, with a personality so large words simply cannot describe.

    • Sam says:

      I’m sorry to read your pain I lost my Millie too to tragic illness and can’t bear to think or her not being here with me pestering me for treats..:: but she is gone now and inside me I have to accept that was the end for her it is hard and the void is unbearable but I have started to reason with myself that as young as she was there was nothing I could have have done to change her fate. I just pray she is playing in a big garden somewhere smiling and chasing butterflies and birds with plenty of treats. It breaks my heart even then that garden is not here with me

  35. gttgr says:

    omg sorry for ur loss, coping with the pain of cat’s death is awfully sad i know

  36. Wesley says:

    I get the whole “angels and heaven” thing is comforting, but seriously. In all reality, we need to cope with the inevitability of the nothing after death. The animal is not in a “better place”, they simply do not exist any longer. It is very sad, but that is the truth.

    • Pixie says:

      But you don’t know this anymore than they know there is something after death. Absence of evidence is not edivence of absence. The fact that we are here even discussing this is mind bending if you think about it enough.

    • Jed says:

      Very old texts explain consciousness is the proof of the soul in the body and is indestructible. Only the body dies. If this is true all our cats live on in new bodies. Bhagavad Gita chapter 2 text 13

  37. Vicki Bouwer says:

    Dear Sandra,

    I had to reply to your comment and am also sorry for your loss. My daughter and I lost our little Angel (cat) three months ago to an attack by a collarless stray dog in our own back yard. It was horrible and we felt helpless trying to get this dog off her. Even though I am an animal lover and fierce defender of the way so many animals are cruelly treated, I was very angry at the dog and whoever may have owned it ! I blamed myself for not being able to save Angel as she was only a young age of not yet 6 years and was mainly an indoor cat & not familiar with dogs.

    Like you I couldn’t sleep for the first couple of nights and weeks and kept dwelling on our loss and the injustice of it all. I was fortunate to have a wonderful best friend that helped me grieve and wonderful neighbours who came to us at the time. I have taken up walking my neighbours’ sweet little dog and sharing my affection for animals with him and he looks forward to our visits which has helped us enormously. We decided not to bury Angel but had her cremated so we can spread her ashes in her favourite places in the garden and keep her with us always. I have lost pet cats, a dog and a horse all mainly to old age but when they are taken from us suddenly we are not prepared.

    Sometimes I visit animal shelters and donate my time to visit and play with them. I am not ready to have another cat just yet but I find spending time with other animals and pets helps me to move forward.

    At completely unexpected times, I still feel and sometimes hear Angel’s presence which is very comforting. I wish you peace and comfort Sandra and may you experience many happy and wonderful events in the years ahead. xx

  38. Tori says:

    Hi. I’m in so much pain right now. I have recently lost my 13 year old black and white, short haired cat, Tinkerbell, from a cats protection centre near me. I chose her at 4 years old because there was an immediate bond with her licking and rubbing up against the glass at me. I wouldn’t even consider another as soon as I saw her. She was only 9 months old and previously had kittens, of which were all adopted, and had been found on some wasteland after presumably being kicked out of a last residence for her pregnancy (it remains speculation). This wonderful kitty has been through everything with me. A move to France, my depression and anxiety, me changing 7 schools, a move back to England, starting college, my first love breaking my heart to pieces. She was always there with her loud purring, headbutting and our little cat conversations where shed meow at me, I’d meow back, and she’d meow back at me again. She’d come when I called and would sleep with me and always out her paws on me, especially liking holding my finger, frequently bathing me. But here is unfortunately the sad spiral of her getting worse.. a tumour popping out of her forehead, she goes blind, has a seizure of about 24 hours in which I spend every moment with her on my lap and asleep with her, crying and whispering to her. We were taking her to the vets as an emergency that morning but somehow being with me had given her more hope to live. The vets didn’t know how she was alive. So back home we go as she appears better.. then she disappears. For two weeks. With no medicine or food, helpless and blind. The biggest shock came to me when an rspca man knocked on the door with my little girl in a cage. She was found 10 MILES away. We believe someone took her, mistaking her for a younger cat in the dark as she is so tiny. Back home I smother her with love and somehow.. somehow.. she regains her sight, her spacial awareness and hearing. And just when I think it’s better she undergoes another serious stroke or seizure, and is immediately taken to the vets. They want to put her down right there and then. But I was at school and as she is my cat my parents asked to have her given steroids for me to spend some time with her before her passing. She comes home acting great, energetic and pleased to see me. Five days they where supposed to last. And almost a month later she was doing fine! Sight and all. And once again as fate seems to have in for me she has a small and short seizure… two days later is gone. It’s been a week since she’s been missing. There’s serious flooding in my area. My heart feels like it’s being pulled from my body and my eyes sore and irritated. I can’t breathe, I really can’t. I found myself scouring the carpets around my house for her fur for three quarters of an hour just now, and found this article whist crying my eyes out to try and relieve the pain. Everytime I think of my weak little girl out in the cold and harsh rain I break down again. My poor poor baby. She’s been a support to me through almost my whole life. I’m 16 going on 17 and I don’t know how I can deal anymore. I can’t tell my secrets to anyone or speak to my cat when I’m sad. She was always my backup. My precious little girl who I’d do absolutely anything for. The last time I saw her I was on a Skype call, she cuddled up on my pillow next to me for a while, got up and left. I love her so much. I miss her so much. I just want her little body in my arms so I can perhaps give her a last kiss and lay her in the ground.

    • Tori says:

      For anyone, I got my closure. A vet called me yesterday with her in their possession (microchip) so I went to collect her. But her state was dreadful. Walking in circles, swollen head from the tumour, so so thin.. yet she still recognised me. I chose to get her put down because it would of been cruel to keep her alive. I miss her with every passing second and my eyes burn like holy hell. At least I got to hold her for one last time.

    • Richard says:

      My heart is broken for you. Words fail me. I will pray for you.

  39. stacie spaulding says:

    I lost my 13 yr old kitty,Gemini suddenly 11/16/16..I hurt SO bad and when I take a five minute break from crying,I feel guilty for stopping.My eyes feel like they are full of sand and burn like fire,they are so swollen and red,I can barely see.My heart aches at the idea of Christmas without her,I am whaling out loud even as I type this.She had renal(kidney failure) she did not eat for one day so I immediately took her to the vet as that was not my baby girl,she loved her treats and loved her food,the news was horrific,she had only hours to live and was in severe pain…I was told I needed to make a decision, one I said I’d NEVER even entertain,to end her suffering humanely,unfortunately I learned a hard lesson to ‘never say never’ ..I could go on for days with stories and the Love I have for her but really just wanted to send my love and well wishes for quick healing to all of you who adore your pets as much as I and hopefully,it is,even if tiny,some sort of consolation that you are not alone in your grief and don’t EVER let ANYONE tell you”oh,its just a pet” cry/mourn as loud and as long as you need to.I know I will,there’s simply no choice,it is hitting me like a train.Thanks for the stories and for listening to mine-Stacie

    • Richard says:

      Dear Stacie, my beautiful cat Pepsi suffered renal failure, she was 15 and we had to put her to sleep yesterday. I understand your journey with renal failure. What can one say to anyone who lost a beloved companion – other than i feel your pain and understand.

      The steam train is hitting me hard as well. I think speaking to others as we are and sharing our story and grief helps tremendously.

  40. Sandra says:

    Hi, I lost my best friend today in a horrific way, my bf s dog killed her ( who was a stray and he took in against my better judgementv and advise) I know it’s not an accident that I stumbled upon your page. I am still grieving the loss of losing my 18 year old son and she was a main source of comfort from losing him. Now what do I do? I can’t sleep, I can’t even think straight. I feel SO alone. I truly don’t know how I’m going to get through this. This dog has a vicious and aggressive personality and iv feel he should be put down. I know it seems harsh, but I’m afraid it’s just a matter of time before v he does it again to another pet. I welcome any advise with this difficult (for his owner) choice. To be honest, I don’t even care right now. I just want my son and my dosia back. I know that sounds cold hearted and I’m SO quite the opposite, I always think about others to the point where I often don’t think about myself. I’m just absolutely HEARTBROKE LOST and feel so alone. Thank u for listening and I hope I haven’t been to much of a downer I’m just so lost. I hope angels are holding both my babies in their arms…

    • Jane says:

      Hi Sandra, I read you comment and I just had to say how sorry I am for your loss. To loose both your child and your cat is quite simply an unimaginable pain. It does not seem harsh at all for how you feel towards the dog that killed your cat. I would say that is a natural response to feel anger and hurt towards the animal. You’re right in that it is a scary thought in that the dog may do this again. I don’t mean this to sound accusatory in the slightest but in future your bf must ensure his dog is supervised in future at all times when other animals and children are around. It is a difficult situation to be in. I’m so sorry I can’t give advice except for getting this dog training and keeping him supervised. I really hope you find closure and peace for the terrible tragedies you have suffered and I hope the dog is able to be better trained and domesticated so something like this does not happen again. You’re not a downer at all and I wish you only happiness for the future. Take care

    • Jane says:

      Dearest Sandra,

      You will have them both back one day. I firmly believe that in the end, every soul on earth is reunited to make one living, perfect, complete, fulfilled entity which is pure peace and love. In the meantime, know that your son and Dosia are fine. Of COURSE you don’t care about anything or anyone right now…including yourself…you are in a very, very bad state…that is calling for help and action when you are ready. Go easy on yourself. No expectations. I just had to put my cat down…the absolute worst thing I’d ever gone through, and I was thinking of all the women I’ve known who have gone through that–and have lost children.Upon arriving home, I went out to my mailbox and who was driving by but the very woman I had thought about earlier. SHE was comforting ME. She sagely, knowingly informed me: Our loves are FINE. And they live forever. I hope you find peace and comfort, Sandra.

    • Maus says:

      Hi Sandra, I lost my little angel in a similar fashion, she went missing last week Thursday and I found out last night that my neighbors dogs killed her, I miss her terribly and wonder how terrified she must have been…I was not there to protect her. Although I have two other babies, I cannot fill the void her loss has left me with. I am trying to find comfort in the fact that I believe animals do have souls and she is up in heaven waiting for me when I get there.

  41. Laurie says:

    Dear Dee,

    You lost your beloved cat so recently; I don’t think there is anything you can do to get over the pain and grief. I believe we need to go through the grief, to weep and really allow our hearts to break at the loss of our cats. If we try to rush it or speed grief along, we just bury it….and it’ll come out later in more destructive and painful ways.

    Give yourself time to grieve. You shared your life with your cat for such a long time! It is normal to be sad, to grieve, to cry, to feel broken. It’s painful…but it is important to allow yourself to feel what you feel.

    You will heal. One day you will start to remember your beloved cat with peace. You will find yourself lightening, your heart getting bigger and stronger, your spirit and soul coming alive again. Take heart. Trust the grieving and healing process.

    You will never be the same – and you will always remember your beloved cat – but you will be better one day.

    In sympathy,

  42. SueShi says:

    To all who have lost their furry baby, I too feel your loss. It’s been exactly 1 week since my baby boy, Appie passed in his sleep from chronic renal failure (crf). I had him since he was about 4 weeks old. Feral rescue. He was 18.5 yrs old, 90 yrs in cat years. I miss & loved him so. His litter mate sister, Blackie also has crf. She, too is slowing down. I prayed for Appie to have a painless, peaceful, loving passing. I was there, my hubby and his sister were there. He was surrounded by love. I pray Blackie may stay alive longer living life fully. My psyche can’t take another loss so soon.

    • Dee says:

      My beautiful girl passed away 16th October 2016 17.45. She was 20.yrs. We had to make the heartbreaking decision to end her suffering. Weight loss,vomiting, dehydration possible liver problems and the final straw a suspected stroke. She fought bravely but all too much for her frail little body.The pain I feel for my Amber passing is crushing. I have had another cat and a dog but the loss of this tiny little girl is deverstating. She brought my family so much joy.
      It feels like I will never get over this terrible loss and the guilt I feel. I got up today the first morning without her and for a brief moment started to go downstairs to feed her. Then the tears took over. How do I get pass his horrendous grief and feeling of loss?

    • shirley7 says:

      I lost my baby girl around the same time and im lost, cant breathe at times. I go over and over what I could have done differently and still not certain the causes. I love her so much and its unbearable.

  43. Laurie says:

    “The agony is great and yet I will stand it. Had I not loved so much I would not hurt so much. But goodness knows I would not want to diminish that precious love by one fraction of an ounce.

    I will hurt. And I will be grateful for that hurt for it bears witness to the depth of our meaning. And for that I will be eternally grateful.”

    – Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

    May you heal, grieve, and open your heart to love again.

    How to Recover From Loss and Survive Grief

    “You don’t get back to normal,” says grief expert Dr Norman H. Wright. “You create a new normal, a new stability in your life.”

    Give yourself time to grieve your loss. Know that your beloved cat is resting in peace, and your spirits and souls will forever be together.

    In sympathy,

    • Georgette says:

      thank you,laurie for your kind words

    • Linda says:

      I lost my beloved Charlie cat on Oct. 9th at about 1p.m. I noticed Thursday he was off his food but was still drinking water. By Friday he was quite lethargic. Saturday he seemed to rally a little and then he started peeing blood. Sunday he died. All is darkness since. My dear sweet good and loyal boy was a rescue kitty who came to me on a snowy afternoon in January of ’13. He was an indoor kitty and my constant companion since. He was my one and only joy in this life. I would look so forward to coming home to see him and be with him. He was rowdy and vocal fellow. But also very affectionate. I loved him so. My home is very quiet and empty. It is almost unbearable to come home after work. I hate myself for being to poor not to take him to a vet right away. There is no light or joy or happiness without him. It has been almost a full week without him and all I do is cry. I have read through your stories here and know I am not alone. You here understand. I buried him with his favorite toy and wrapped in the most beautiful silk fabric I had, next to the roses and under his favorite window he liked to sit in to watch the birdies. My heart is broken.

      • Clarabelle says:

        Hi Linda, I had to reply, as I know how sad and depressed you are. I know the feeling of ‘not another day without him’ and even shocking yourself at how much you miss him. But they all say it, and time will numb the pain…as you know it will never go away completely….but if you keep busy as possible, and try to open up to people who may understand (I think you’ll be surprised at the people that do understand this grief, and won’t judge you) then you can ride out the next few weeks and months. I know it’s totally scary to know that all you had with him is gone for good….but other happiness will come, not the same, different, but it will be happiness. I wish so much I’d done things differently with my boy, and I’m still shocked to the oblivion that I was bullied into putting him down…but he’s gone…he went late March and I’ll never forget him but the days are so much easier than they were 1 month ago – I think in the end I knew I had to move on for my sanity! So don’t be hard on yourself, do what you need to do to recover but recognise when you are making things worse for yourself (spending too much time alone is one of those). Good luck and take care, Clarabelle (once mum to a gorgeous black boy she adored beyond all reason) xx

  44. Georgette says:

    My beloved Luna died during the night,with no signs of illness.I just found her laying peacefully on the dining room this morning floor.My heart is breaking.Its only been a few hours and I am truly devastated.

    • Robert says:

      I feel your pain, My beloved Cat Pinky died last night, in the share bedroom she was 16 1/2 years old , I miss her so dearing I feel like I lost a Child so was so sweet and cuddly she loved laying next to you , I really miss her.

      • Georgette says:

        Im so sorry to hear about Pinky. Luna was only 10. She was my friend and companion she traveled everywhere with me. I just cannot believe how devastated I am feeling, you are right,it is as if Ive lost a child.

  45. Jenny says:

    Hi to everyone, it’s great, but so sad, to read all of your stories about losing your cats. But it really helps to know I’m not alone & it helps me a lot to write about it. I lost my beautiful cat 2 days ago and I’m devastated, I feel terrible, really ill, like I have very severe flu. There are 2 people I love in the world more than anyone else, my 18 year old daughter (she’s an only child) & my cat. It really helps to read about other people’s experiences & the love cats inspire. My cat was 13, we had her since she was born, her mum was our daughter’s pet, her mum was beautiful & lovely in some ways but quite aggressive & fierce. When she had her litter of 4 my daughter picked Kittie out for us to keep, about a minute after she was born! Kittie was a very mellow placid affectionate cat, not so much like her mother! I feel like I have lost a child, we buried her in the back garden & I keep thinking oh she must be cold as winter is coming. She was such a pleasure to be with, I work from home and it gets lonely, and she was always there with me. Everyone commented on how big & beautiful she was, she was a big cat, not fat, just big. She had some kind of accident or attack, a week ago I noticed a wound in her neck, a big chunk like a bite (we think she was attacked by a dog there is a big one at the flats next door, over the back garden wall, she never goes out into the street as she’s terrified of cars) we were cleaning the wound & put a cone on so she couldn’t scratch it, she seemed ok eating well, going into the garden, doing all her usual activities, etc, but she deteriorated really quickly & couldn’t get up, then went into a coma on Sunday night so I sat with her, whispering sweet nothings 🙂 I hope she knew I was there. My daughter has just left home to go to university, she was back for the weekend so she saw Kittie but missed her death which was at 1.30 am, because Kittie didn’t look like herself in the end, she had convulsions & her head was cold and looked like a toy with dead eyes though her body was still warm and purring, it was horrible, it looked like her brain had died before her body. Well it’s better than her getting cancer & suffering for ages, I tell myself. I was VERY attached to her, even more so since my daugher left home. She was my best friend & so lovable. RIP beautiful Kittie miss you like hell. I want to be a robot so I can get up work eat sleep and not feel pain any more.

  46. Laurie says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. May your grief be lighter today, and may you know in your heart that your beloved cat is safely resting in peace.

    May your weeping turn to healing, and your pain to acceptance. May your heart heal, and your soul be larger and more compassion because of the love you’ve felt and lost.

    In sympathy, with hugs,

  47. Gee040 says:

    my ginger passed away 2 hrs ago. im so heartbroken and a cant stop crying. the very first time i saw ginger was in front of our office. it was raining hard and he was crying. i took him in and eventually i adopted him last august. he was just a kitten 🙁 earlier today he was sleeping and snuggled right next to me. i just vant believe that he’s gone. it really breaks my heart to see him lifeless. i miss him so badly. i miss cuddling and kissing him on his head. what hurts the most is that i didnt get to say goodbye. he’s just the sweetest cat ive known. my bf left me last august, same month i adopted ginger. i put my energy to him. i was feeling shit back then about what happened, but ginger was always beside me. he made me smile and feel loved. he’s the reason i was feeling better when my bf left. oh god, tears again. huhuhuhu

  48. Laurie says:

    I recently went to a Grief Workshop by Dr Norman Wright, and he talked about the grief of pet loss! I shared a bit of his wisdom here:

    How to Get Out of Bed When You’re Grieving a Difficult Loss

    Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your cat for as long as you need to. Don’t rush it, don’t push yourself to heal. Let your heart ache, and you will come through this.

    Take heart. Your cat is resting in peace…and loving you more now than ever before.

  49. Luke says:

    I keep coming back to read this, I just can’t get over losing my beloved cats. I’ve lost two this year, two who use to always sleep by me every night, and make me feel better when I was sad and down. The first one who died I’ve had for 16 years, I’ve known her for so long. The second died last August, and I still haven’t been able to feel better. He was only 3 years old, passed from Kydney failure. I miss them so much, I feel like I’m never gonna feel any better.

  50. yashi says:

    My most loved cat of 6 years (she was black and so special) died this morning September 29 2016. I am so heartbroken that words can’t express what my family and i am going through right now.

    • Rebecca says:

      So very sorry to hear of your heartbreak. 🙁 I lost my best friend in the world ‘Hero’ 2 weeks ago and life is just painful now. I miss him so much. 🙁 I know what you are going through and it’s unbearable

    • Clarabelle says:

      I lost my cat in March 16, he was my baby, my joy, my heart literally pumped (like in the cartoons!) when I saw him and held him – he was amazing! I adored him and we spent many many happy months together being a pair! Stupidly, very stupidly, I decided to get him a ‘companion’, they didn’t fight, but he changed, distanced himself from me, then would get close again, and then I would catch this sad look in his eyes, and then he started disappearing for days and days. I’d be searching for him, posters and so on, and then suddenly he’d reappear – hungry and tired and relieved to be home – the absolute absolute joy! Until on the 4th time, he didn’t come home for 10 weeks, I held it together (most of the time) and told everyone he was still alive and he’d be back. I’d had some possible sightings 3 miles away so I was searching there. In March 16, on the darkest rainiest evening we had a call from the vet…the rest was the worst and he was put to sleep after being badly injured from being hit by a car 4 miles from home. I held him, he purred at times, but the strong advise by 2 vets, and my husband, was to let him go. I couldn’t think, so I did. Too soon. And there started the misery I have been unable to shake, it’s been many months and I still waste entire days researching his injuries, wishing we’d disregarded the vets advice and driven him to the Trauma Centre in Potters Bar, I have immense anger at myself for driving him out of his home by getting another cat, and complete and utter sadness. I go through stages where I want to dig him up, I pour over photos, I stand and stare at places where he sat and lay, and I think about getting another male cat, but so much rests on that cat. I can’t believe I had it all and it went, I cannot believe this. So i just go on….I’d love to know when this will all end. Until then its brave face forward while inside mourning for my best pal, my little man, my boy.

      • Zam says:

        Oh Clarabelle your story is so sad. I know how you feel, the guilt, the anger, the immeasurable sadness. I lost one of my cats not long ago and I’m surprised to see just how affected I am, especially since in my case he was not a very approachable cat. But while I thought he was living it up in the next door gardens, turns out he was dying a slow, painful death right next door to us, having been locked in the neighbours’ holiday home. He picked the wrong house, and I still can’t get over how such a simple mistake lead to such a tragic outcome. I still have one cat left, and I can’t even imagine losing her. I really hope you feel better soon.

      • Clarabelle says:

        Thank you Zam, that is so sweet of you. At least I know how you feel too, I am so sorry about your cat, it all seems so tragic. So near but so far. The problem I have is I know my boy was the one, and I let him down. I have blamed the vet for putting pressure on me to put him down, and I have blamed the charity who gave me the second cat telling me it was fine to have 2 cats together but at the end of the day I know the buck lies with me…a bit of research about my boys personality or would have led me to believe getting a second cat was not a good idea (and why did I need one, he was everything…but at the time i was so caught in in rescuing animals and it didn’t ever occur to me it would cost my boy his life….) and I also could have refused to put him down and just tried to get him to potters bar (they said he may not make it as lungs filling up…but they could have drained them first)….who knows what the outcome would have been: a huge amount of cash and he’d still be dead or paralysed, or I may have my boy with me now with a small limp and rehomed the other cat to a carefully chosen family. Hindsight, amazing isn’t it! I so wish to know then what I do now.
        Somehow I just have to accept he’s gone, I did it, and that happiness and joy he bought me is gone too and i have to find new ways to be happy again and stop all these tears and lurking over his grave.
        Thanks for your comments Zam, I’m sorry to rage on about myself when you are suffering too….that is the thing about grief, it makes you very self consumed.

  51. LISA says:


  52. Luci says:

    I lost my favorite cat yesterday. That is hard enough, but her sister of 17 years is tearing my heart out. I’ve never experienced an animal grieving before. I’ve been spending most of my time on the porch consoling Punky.

    I have a special enclosed porch for the cats. When I step into the formal living room, Punky begins to yowl. She doesn’t want to be alone.

    I bought her some special wet food because she wouldn’t eat her kibble. What once was considered a special treat, is meh now. She wanders over and eats a little here and there thank God.

    I emptied and cleaned both cat boxes. Punky walked over and sat next to her sister’s box and stared into it for the longest time. It just about killed me. That’s where I found Fatty, lying in her litter box. 😢 I’m just so incredibly sad.

    • Rebecca says:

      My mum had 2 cats and when one died the other uses to howl all night for him. It’s heartbreaking. I’m sorry for your loss

  53. Halay says:

    I had a beautiful gray turkish angora, her name was ruby. i loved her so deeply and my brothers loved her too, my mother and father bought her for me when i was 16, but sadly i had to move and she didnt have her passport done, so i had to give her to a trusting friend of mine, she loved the cat and i think we both shared the same bond with ruby, so i left, 3 years after i just heard she passed out while giving birth. My friend said that she had 5 beautiful kittens, with 3 girls and 2 boys. Im crying as i write this and hopefully she and i will be reunited again.

  54. Olga Mosman says:

    My darling , beautiful cat Yana, 12 years old, she killed by coyote on the 3th September 2016. My story on my FB page. No words what I feel…

  55. Rebecca says:

    On Monday I lost my best friend. I’m devastated. I can’t even eat. I have no joy no purpose and no want to carry on living. My cat Hero was only age 1 and 2 months. Before rescuing Hero from a rehoming house I suffered from a bit of depression but Hero cured me. I loved him immensely. I spent all my time with him and we had a very special unique bond. I can’t believe he’s gone. It siffocates me! He had FIP and there was nothing we could do to save him. I’m sorry that he lost his life so young and I’m sorry for what he went through. I hope there is an afterlife and I will be reunited with him again. I feel like at age 30 my life is over. Part of my heart has died. I hope he’s in peace and happy. I love him and I can’t cope with this unbearable pain.

    • Xxx says:

      I know what you feel. I feel the same.. my cat has been missing for two weeks.. I can’t held the pain. He was my baby. My life..

      • Rebecca says:

        🙁 so sorry! The pain in unbearable ! Nothing else matters anymore. I have no joy. I just go to work (at least at work I’m forced to keep busy and try not to cry) but then everything else is just emptiness as time goes by. I’m going to volunteer at the RSPCA so I can help others but I’ll miss my baby forever 🙁 life’s cruel

    • martina says:

      You are not alone in your pain Rebecca. My sweet little boy passed away 6 weeks ago, and my heart still aches whenever I think of him. I miss him so much. He was my ray of sunshine that kept me warm through the darkest days. My boyfriend broke up with me this june, it was a 12 years long relationship, and Pierce was my only comfort. I feel so alone..

      • Rebecca says:

        Sorry to hear what you are going through. Life is so very cruel and hard. 🙁 There are no words that will make you feel better but all I can say is that I feel your pain and I understand what you are going through 🙁

    • aria saremi says:

      I was in a similar situation when my cat, Cookie, got hit by a car. I’m 30 and had similar problems with depression and totally understand how it must feel. Cookie was 1 when a car hit him 5 months ago. he was my son and it was a huge loss when it happened. it’s amazing how they become like your children. the bond is so beautiful and pure and when it comes to people like you and me it takes our lives to a different level of quality. at least you didn’t get to see your little Hero like I saw my Cookie after the accident, it was so devastating! but soon you’ll understand this is how it works and you’ll have him in your heart forever. when you think about it that’s what’s going to happen to all of us sooner or later. we’re all going to where our cats and other loved ones are! it’s guaranteed that all of us will become other one’s memories one day like Hero and Cookie. so we are going to be with them soon!

      • Rebecca says:

        Thank you for replying. I’m sorry for your loss. It’s exactly that… We have lost our boys 🙁 it’s devastating! I hope one day I will be reunited with him. X

    • Rick Daly says:

      My Pal died a few days ago after being with me every day for 21 years , I held him while he slowly passed , his lungs filled with fluid and he went limp , I kept holding him for a hour after he went , took his little stuffed mouse and cut his wisker’s off and some of his fur , put them in a baggy and wrapped him in a towel . I buried him next to a new Olive tree in my front yard and kept my baggy of items in my pocket . I’m 64 years old , and have a hard time being a Man about this , I loved that little fellow ! this is a nice place to visit , thank you !

      • Tristan says:

        Please think of all the good memories you can of him, he had more good days than the bad ones at the end-He loved you so much…keep his spirit alive with how special he was to you-

      • K says:

        I don’t suspect you’ll read this but if you meant the “being a man” bit, please don’t get sucked into that. It’s not what many women want and it’s BS. Your boy didn’t give a rat’s about it, nor do many people. I’m so sorry about your dude- 21 is a blessing but I know it makes it even more difficult to lose them. I lost my 18 year-old recently and he was “the one” amid many cats I’ve had in my life. Not sure how I’m going to ‘pull up’ yet but it’s a temporary lift to read these posts. I’m glad you were holding him and it sounds as though you likely made his life as good as it could’ve been and took great care of him, given his age. Really hope you can heal well in time.

  56. Ally says:

    I am having a very very hard time with the passing of my beautiful fur baby Ziggy. Ziggy passed away on June 9th, 2016, 4 days after her 19th birthday (she was 9 weeks old when we brought her home). I am 24, so, we have been together most of my life. Since I was 5, I took care of her, I started working at 14 so I could support her by myself without my parents help. Zig had arthritis and some other issues, when I moved into our new condo, I felt in my heart that something wasn’t right and my parents suggested that I should get another cat in case. I went to the Humane Society and adopted an abused cat named Phineas, well to be honest he adopted me, he kind of held onto me and refused to let me go. 4 days later Ziggy passed away. I have tried everything to ease this pain.

    I purchased the Willow Tree figurine, Zigs ashes are in the most beautiful hand craved urn I could find. Her blanket, fav toys collar and ashes are in my living room. I tried talking about her but it still makes me really sad. My mom or dad will bring her up (fond memory) and I will just break down, like am right now. I am trying my best with Phineas (new cat) but he isn’t Ziggy. I cant help but think if I didn’t adopt him, Ziggy would still be here. It has been making me resent him a little. I wake up every morning and still expect to see her laying on the couch. When I don’t see her there, it takes my breath away.

    It hurts, its been 4 months already and it still hurts a ton. My birthday is coming up soon and this is the first birthday in 19 years that she wont be there. I feel like I am falling apart. I just adopted a bunny to see if that would help. I saved her from being someone’s Dinner O_o long story… She has helped a little. She has a lot of Ziggy’s habits (good and bad) so I feel a little better, a little more grounded. Thanks for listening to me.

  57. Lindsey says:

    I feel for everyone who has lost their cat. 2 cats adopted me 4 years again first Beau then his smaller sibling Belle, who was renamed Bel after realising a boy. Last Wednesday I had 2 nearly identical well cats. Bel was my favourite, I didn’t mean to have a favourite because I love them both and I treated them the same but Bel had this character of being so loving, sitting on my lap when I worked, loving to be curled up next to you in bed, always wanting fuss and had the most magnificent soft fur and purr. I real floppy cat and oh so pretty. Beau is handsome as opposed to pretty he likes a fuss when he wants one and that’s generally when he wants food. I do love them both but I adored Bel.

    Thursday Bel seemed a bit offish, Friday worse so a trip to the vets confirmed lymph nodes swollen and a few jabs later whilst purring we came home. Saturday morning he seemed spritelier and tried a bit of food. So I though hey he’s picking up. In the evening when I called him for tea he did not come and I found him at the end of a neighbour’s garden in the long grass, he looked at me as I peered over the fence then put his head back down. I lifted the fence panels and took him in my arms and walked in to the house and placed him on my lap…he curled up and just lay there.

    I got in touch with emergency vets and drove over, after waiting a while we were seen and the vet took some blood. 40 minutes later we had the results and I was told he has the lowest red blood cell count they had ever seen and that the results showed him to be an extremely poorly cat. I went to the vets thinking he would stay in for the night and have a drip to re-hydrate him but I ended up agreeing he should not suffer and him going to sleep.

    He was only 4 and the most wonderful cat. I brought him home as going to bury him in the garden and so the other cat can see him. Bel is on the bed and looks like he is asleep and Beau is at the other end sleeping. I am burying Bel today with some help so will never touch his oh so soft fur and see his pretty face, see his personality and feel him on my lap.

    I have never felt such a bond with a cat it’s the strongest of all the cats I have had he was just so loving. I woke this morning and wished Beau had gone instead which is the most awful thing to think and I feel terrible but as much as I love Beau, I had this amazing soft spot for Bel he was such a character. Has anyone else thought these awful thoughts please?

    I do love Beau and will cherish him, as mentioned he is nearly identical to the other and it was so lovely to have the 2 of them eating breakfast together, either ignoring each other or play fighting or sitting together. I’m just so distraught. I know it will get better as my cat of 18 years died a while back whom I loved dearly but there was something about Bel that he took my heart the most, I didn’t chose to love him the most he was just him he was amazing and I haven’t ever loved a pet as much as I loved him.

    He’s not poorly now as with all our cats they are at peace and although I am not a religious person the Laurie’s thought above of him in an angel’s arms is wonderful because he would love that having a cuddle and a fuss.

    Love and best wishes to anyone mourning their pet. At least we were lucky enough to spend time with such wonderful creatures; they made our lives better and will be dearly missed.

    • Aria Saremi says:

      as horrible as your thought might sound you have no control over it. thoughts come and go through everybody’s mind and it is pretty natural what you think. don’t blame yourself for it and accept your thought. you will eventually get relived and love Beau even more. I lost my cat 5 months ago when he was only 1. my Cookie got hit by a car and he was the sweetest kitty. I used to be much more upset at the beginning but now I think about him less and honestly sometimes I feel guilty that I’m getting better. I think he and our father-son relationship deserve me to be thinking about him and grieve like the first day all the time. but this is nature and that’s how the flow of life takes us. we have no control over our feelings and just need to embrace them. so just embrace your feelings towards Beau and let time heal you.

  58. Shelagh Smith says:

    I lost my kitty this week – on Wednesday and I am heartbroken. He had taken to drinking from our landlord’s pool and my husband said watch out, Harvey, don’t fall in. Well sadly and tragically he did. I blame myself for not checking on him. He was a special needs cat – he couldn’t jump very high and didn’t have much use of his back legs – he managed the bed and the couch, but that was it. I’m guessing that he was drinking and lost his balance. I wish that I had checked on him sooner, but I assumed that he was just sunning himself. If, if, if ………….. I can never forgive myself for this. He was my buddy, my life and my love. I even brought him over from South Africa to Australia when I migrated at the end of last year. Honestly don’t know what I will do without him. My little precious

    • Zam says:

      I’m so so sorry for your loss. I’ve been going through a lot of answers trying to find someone with a similar story to mine. We just moved into a new house, terraced on one side. And one of our two cats, a very shy, untouchable kind of fella (we were never able to stroke him except when we were in bed with our bodies under the duvet), disappeared one day after about a fortnight of intense hiding in the day and desperate meowing at night (where the hell am i!). I truly thought he was out there growing a pair, living a big adventure, and that he would come back an assertive, easy to pat big guy. I did see him a couple of nights after he left (my other cat gave me the signal), he was at the back door, looking so handsome. I opened the door for him but the sound gave him a fright and he vanished. I hate myself now for not letting the door open…
      Time went by… Here we were with my 5yr old daughter talking about the big cat parties he was having like in the aristocats. Until monday. Our neighbours came back for their usual fall holiday (it’s their holiday home). They waited for our daughter to be in school to tell us they had found a dead cat lying in their kitchen, which was now in a garbage bag out back. I knew it was our little guy, they confirmed it was a tabby. Sent my husband to check, sure enough it was our Zizou. No!!!!! He died of dehydration, I can’t breathe..
      I can’t imagine how painful that must have been. Organs shutting down one by one, slowly, alone. He must have called out to us, but the windows and shutters were closed. The neighbours said there were signs of him searching for water, my heart just stopped. The shock is huge. The guilt even greater. I really thought this would be a new start for him, instead he picked the wrong house. Zizou was 8yrs old. RIP little guy.
      I am oh so sad.

  59. Adam says:

    My parents got my sister and I cats in 1999, Snowball male and Kiki female. They both lived till they where fifteen. They both died both lived long lives. They both died 4 years ago. It’s still hard even after all this time. Snowball was my best friend for such a long time but all I can do is remember him as he was a fat cat who loved to sit in my lap as I petted him. He would always follow me around the house wanting to get petted but unlike most I’m lucky he left behind a son who takes after him in so many ways.

  60. Cynthia H says:

    This afternoon, I had to put down my beloved Mia.

    I adopted her and her brother just over 13 years ago.
    She was always a very little cat, looked more like a 9 month old kitten than a senior cat. Her and her brother were semi-feral when I adopted them, but with love and care, they both became very affectionate to us and people they got to know.

    About 3 months ago, she was diagnosed with an cancerous tutor on her lungs and a heart condition. It was a matter of keeping her comfortable and monitoring her quality of life, both conditions were terminal. She was such a little fighter, she just kept keeping on, was eating, drinking, using the box and trying to keep up her normal routine.

    But last night, her little body gave out, she was coughing up blood all night and this morning would not eat, drink or walk around. It was time, I could see it in her eyes she was still fighting it but that she was scared and in pain.

    My own pain right now is enormous. She was my daughter and I loved her more than I can say. I will miss her so much. I have to be strong for her brother, who is like my son, but right now it is very, very hard. I hope that time will be the great healer.

    I keep thinking of the Joan Baez song:

    I never dreamed you’d leave in summer
    I thought you would go then come back home
    I thought the cold would leave by summer
    But my quiet nights will be spent alone
    You said there would be warm love in springtime
    That was when you started to be cold
    I never dreamed you’d leave in summer
    But now I find myself all alone
    You said then you’d be alive in autumn
    Then you said you’d be the one to see the way
    No, no no no no I never dreamed you’d leave in summer
    But now I find my love has gone away
    Why didn’t you stay?

    Thank you Kristen Nelson for your post of how to deal with the loss of a beloved pet.

  61. Ariana says:

    I forgot to add, Comfie lived to be 11 years and 9 months. We had her cremated and I have her cremains in a heart shaped urn. I lay it on my chest to comfort me. It has helped knowing shes back home with her family. God bless you all.

  62. Ariana says:

    It is comforting to read these as my cat passed away early this morning. Her name was Comfie. We adopted her when she was just 4 months old and I was 10 years old. I grew up with her. This past friday I took her to the vet because she had puffy sides and I learned she had fluid in her abdomen. They drained the fluid and then say with an xray she had a tumor. They took blood, and I have not received the results yet and now it doesn’t matter. My sweet baby dies today. She probably had cancer. They gave her an antibiotic called covenia and looking back I would have said no as it stays in the body too long and if they have a reaction theres no way to take it back. The day we got back from the vet she was weak. I assumed she would feel better the next day. But each day she became weaker. She had to take breaks to walk. She only drank water. Didnt use her litterbox. So we force fed her to help her. But last night she couldn’t walk anymore. She just laid on the blanket breathing. I petted her and talked to her. Then she didnt blink or react to any touch, just slow breathing. I had hope since we fed her she’d bounce back in the morning. Well around 2am my mom went to check on her and told me she passed. Im so heartbroken. All i can do is cry. I have barely ate. She was my best friend. Always there for me. When you adopt a pet you don’t think of the end. Its horrible. My sweet kitty died in her sleep and im glad she died in her home and im glad God didnt let her suffer. I know shes in heaven now but it hurts so much. My sweet Comfie. I hope this helps someone else who is grieving. That there are others who get it. I get it. It hurts so bad. She will always be missed. I love you Comfie. So much.

  63. Tizzy says:

    Thank you so much for this page, Laurie. I’ve read a lot of different webpages today on coping with the loss of my kitten, and after a long and painful day, this has been an herbal nightcap for me. I currently can’t bear to read everyone else’s stories, but I bookmarked this page for later.

    My 4-month old kitty, Chai, died in my arms this afternoon. An adorable thing of gray and white. Alternately silly and a napper. We adopted him from a partially domesticated litter and spoiled him with love and affection. Over the past five days, Chai went from being an excited kitty to peeing outside the litter-box to being lethargic… to not eating and barely walking. This morning, I awoke early to bring him to the vet, who said Chai’s problem was neurological. The vet gave me some medicine to give Chai before a follow-up appointment. But Chai was fully paralyzed 2 hours later, and after a small seizure, his heartbeat faded. I’m still in shock. Last night, I was cuddling him, praying for his healing, and now he’s gone?

    I’m all over the place emotionally. One minute I’m thinking of happy memories, but the next I’m crying my eyes out. It’s not fair yet it’s not about fairness. Chai was my own little toddler. This was the first time I had ever been so close to a pet. It’s a new territory of grief for me, and I just want to thank you for your reinforcing encouragement.

    Thank you for telling me to give myself permission to feel this pain and grieve how I need. Thank you for saying it’s okay to say, “I miss him,” because I’ve been saying it a lot and somewhat worried I’ve been saying it too much. Thank you for the wise reminder not to dwell on the pain of loss itself… and also for saying it’s okay to gently distract myself. Well said. My family members are grieving in their own ways, and I’m humbled by the reminder to be gentle with them, too, even though they aren’t expressing themselves the way I would.

    My heart hurts (and my face from crying so much). But I think of how much Chai delighted me, and then I remember that God delights in us. If God delights in us – such complicated, stubborn humans – then I know God delights in the adorable, playful kitties He created. After all, He knows when even one sparrow falls. I’m trying to take comfort in that. I don’t know how to end this comment, because I’m about to tough out my first night without Chai and am somewhat dreading the morning. One step at a time. Thank you again!

  64. Tristan Nadine says:

    I feel everyone’s loss right now-No one will understand a cats passing, it’s not like a human, not at all, it’s far worse…

    I had to put down Kalik Monday morning, she was almost 17, 2 months shy of her birthday-

    She was a talkative, fun, feisty Tortie-She was my constant for almost 17 years-Heartbreak, moves, new jobs etc. she was there, as is her brother, Jager the Weimaraner who is 16 and he has health issues 🙁

    Her issues were from thyroid and kidney disease, which I took care of with Px food and I gave her Sub Q IV fluid every other day, then in January learned she needed potassium pills 2x daily-But she’d have moments where she’d puke or not eat, which I’ve learned if a cat hasn’t eaten by 2-3 days, serious side effects will take place-As well if they are dehydrated they will get constipated and if constipated they really can’t eat and will puke….

    But the big thing was August 1st, we were laying on the couch, she was curled up passed out next to me-She jumped up like something spooked her, then started going in circles then had a seizure-
    Vet said this was not good for a cat of her age, means stroke or brain tumor-I couldn’t afford the $2500 MRI so we assumed stroke, even took her to a neurologist-But within these last 22 days, the poor thing…already taking potassium pills, now anti-seizure Px, IV daily to make sure she was getting hydrated-The 1st med made her so drugged she could barely walk, that was heart breaking-
    The 2nd wasn’t supposed to give her any side effects but she was still lethargic, compared to her tearing off running a lot and how vocal she was-

    Sat. night I saw she really stopped eating, as well she peed outside her litter box on the rug, then again I saw she did it-In her entire life she’s never had an accident-So I ran to PetCo got different litter and litter box-She used it easier but then she started eating the litter 🙁 I made her stop, pulled it up and read that when a cat is eating cat litter, it is a very bad sign-

    Sun. I tried to get her to eat some food, dropped the little pellets in her mouth, made me happy she had something in her belly, but then at 2:30, she started puking and she didn’t stop, just white foam at the end-But she would collapse afterwards, it broke my heart-

    Mon morning as soon as the vet opened I was there with her, and when the vet asked the tech to leave and turned to me teary eye, I knew it was not good-She said “Tristan, Kalik is very, very sick, I am very concerned, this is cancer” my only option was to get another IV in her, hydrate her, give her cerenia shot, then put her under anesthesia to get a feeding tube in her-Since she stopped eating Sat. her liver was now a concern, the vet could see jaundice starting-

    I had her in my arms and knew getting IV’s in her, a feeding tube was not right-The vet said she was so sick she didn’t think anesthesia would even work, but she had to have food in her stomach right away-

    I decided to put her to sleep, the vet said if it was her cat she wouldn’t do anything different, that I was helping her-I couldn’t be greedy and bring her home as she was starving to death, severely dehydrated and in misery-I couldn’t stop kissing her and tears were falling over Kalik in the vet room, but she was wrapped in my baby blanket I bought her, looking so beautiful and sleeping-She was just so out of it, just heart breaking to see when you are used to a feisty cat-

    I came home and collapsed on the floor and laid where I monitored her the night before, bawling and then I screamed crying “I want her back…” over and over again-The pain is absolutely unreal-
    I look around and think I see her, or I see her litter box, food bowl, water and I can’t touch it…

    I’ve lost my father, and other family members but this pain is like no other, I truly feel like a piece of me is gone-

    I ordered a necklace with a “K” as a reminder, as well getting a ring made with her name-I thought about also getting the Cuddle Clone thing done, where they make a stuff animal out of your cats image-To have that to squeeze, it might help me, but maybe it will hurt more? If anyone has done this let me know-

    I now have to focus 100% on my 16 year old Weimaraner, he needs me-But there is a change in my place, it’s different and I feel different-I’ve lost something, a part of me, it’s gone, and it’s her-For 6 lbs, she had a huge personality and filled me and place with so much love-

    I’m in agony right now, this is so hard-

    • Aria Saremi says:

      so sorry to hear that 🙁 I lost my cat 5 month ago when he was 1! he was like my son and I loved him so much. still miss him so much sometimes and I wish he has here with me. we just need to go through this!

    • Rosanne says:

      I am so so sorry to hear about you losing the love of your life your kitten. I feel your pain and it is so devastating. I wish I could help I just lost my cat who was 19 years and 8 months old. I can’t even begin to tell you how bad my stomach hurts I think of him every minute that goes by. Like you I was crying please come home. I found some comfort by finding some beautiful pictures of him and I’m going to have made larger and place around the house I just really need to see him right now. I am so grateful for this wonderful site where we can share our. I miss you’s. Hope you feel some comfort soon my heart goes out to you and your baby. May God Bless you both

  65. Rebecca Richardson says:

    My cat died today. I had to have him put to sleep due to bladder cancer. He has had FLUTD for a about 5 years but it had been getting progressively worse over the past 6 months. He had an ultrasound in January after he was hospitalized with a particularly bad bought of the disease. It was decided today that an ultrasound should be done again and a large mass was found. My consolation is that he was 14 and had a good life. But coming home today and seeing evidence of his life all around the house is just a reminder of how painful it is to lose someone.

  66. Crystal M. says:

    Thank you all for your compassionate stories of losing your beloved pet. I just lost my Gypsy this morning. It has only been 4 hours since she passed and I am dying inside. She was a 13 yo, beautiful diluted calico. She was my daughter, my best friend. She always waited by the front picture window to greet me when I got home. We would play hide and seek, she loved watching YouTube videos of birds, she had all these little quirks that made everyone love her. She helped raise Simon and Lucy. She never left my side. Gypsy was so healthy and vibrant on Sunday then she stopped eating on Tuesday, took her to the vet Wednesday. Found out her immune system was killing off her red blood cells, also known as IMHA. She was put on steroids and antibiotic. She ate and drank alittle bit yesterday morning. But after 2pm, she went down hill real fast. She no longer lifted her head or meowed at me. I slept downstairs with her and checked on her ever hour. 4 am she was ok, she chirped when i touched her, gave a kiss on her head. At 615 am, she was gone. I’m glad she went in her sleep at home where she was comfortable and loved while Simon watched over her, because I would have had to made the decision to put her down today. Gyps Gyps, my honey bunny – I will always love you and thank you for giving me the best 10 years of your life. I hope you enjoy it where you are.

  67. Laurie says:

    There is no pain like the sharp grief of missing a cat. I am so sorry for your loss. Your home and heart will never be the same – cats leave gaping holes in our lives!

    Give yourself time to grieve, to process the pain, and to remember your cat with love and sadness. Soon your pain will fade, and your memories will be more sweet than bitter. You’ll never full “get over” the pain of missing your cat – I miss my cat even now, and it’s been almost 15 years – but the grief fades.

    In sympathy,

  68. Goldy says:

    I am so sad. Not even my mother knows what I’m going through. My pet got infected by a parasite that kills blood cells, and the way he got it was from a stray living in our bush. Its different when your cat is only 2 years old. I want to keep him alive.

  69. Diane Robinson says:

    I found my cat when he was a kitten off the side of a major highway. At the time, I had a Samoyed, with me and I picked him up and brought him home. He was always skittish and hid from strangers. I had him for ten years and got another kitty who some people were trying to give away. When I moved to Maine, I took my other cat to the vet and he escaped. I found his hiding place but couldn’t draw him out. Like an idiot, I put a harness of Mitt and went to the home where Felix was hiding. The owner of the house came toward me and Mitt squirmed out of the harness and took off into the woods. I stayed at the house til after midnight and Felix finally came to me. I worried about him because he had a bladder problem. I left a poster at an elderly housing area across the woods from where Mitt escaped and they spotted him. I bought a trap, but the man who notified me told me Mitt kept walking through it (wished I had gotten the kind that had one entry because this one didn’t always work right.) One day, he showed up and as he neared the trap, it went off prematurely and scared him off. The man told me he would show up in the mornings, so I would sit and watch for him, but he didn’t tell me that Mitt would come out a night. The man told me one day after I hadn’t seen him that he heard a fight in the woods the night before, but I didn’t find a trace of any fur. I keep thinking so many ways I may have caught him and it haunts me before I feel so guilty about using his a a decoy. I still cry when I think of him as the tiny kitten on the side of the highway. I don’t know if I’ll every forgive myself and ache not knowing what happened to him.

    • Zam says:

      Oh Diane, don’t be too hard on yourself. You feel terribly guilty, I understand, but you know, what’s done is done. Mitt is out there somewhere. The cat fight at night?… Well, if Mitt was involved, think of it as good, it means he fought back. He’s not lifeless.
      Hope you find your four legged friend and that you can all be reunited very soon.

  70. Nadia says:

    I lost my cat today. Her name was Luna. I’m a wreck! She got hit by a car and I found her a few hours later . She was my best friend, my baby, my heart and soul. I’m completely devastated beyond words. I’m unsure how to move on. She gave me so much joy and love. This past morning before I found her dead. I told her I loved her and she kissed me on my face. And that was it. She’s gone. Thanks to the bastard who was speeding down my street and killed her. My neighbors have cameras and pulled it. They came over right away and showed my family and I the video. It was so horrible I couldn’t watch . To see her suffer that way :*(I miss her so much

    • siddy says:

      hey nadia, i lost my cat and best buddy yesterday, he died in my arms, the vet was going to come to put him to sleep some hours later.
      im so very sorry to hear what happened to emma, ill send my prayers to your baby too.

    • Scott says:

      I am going through what you’re feeling right now. It is horrible.

    • Aria Saremi says:

      my cat died at the age of 1 almost 5 months ago. he got hit by a car. I’m still depressed and miss him so much. actually a few weeks ago a kitten was run over by a car right in front of me! it was horrible, I had to pull over to drag him to side of the road. his head was crushed but his legs were still moving! :(( I think my cat might have gone through the same thing. it’s unbelievable how much love you and your pet feel towards each other! only time can heal us!

    • martina says:

      I lost my sweet little boy today. He was hit by a car in front of my house, still so warm and soft when I found him.. His name was Pierce and he was the cuddliest and most special pet I ever had.. I’m crying my eyes out. I love him and miss him so much..cannot bear the fact he won’t be sleeping next to me tonight, or ever again..

      • Celeste says:

        I know the pain of having your baby hit by a car. My sweet Thomas was the sweetest cat I’ve ever owned. He showed up at our house when he was about 2 months old and meowed and meowed for me to take him inside. We have a border collie but they seemed to tolerate each other pretty well. Thomas was just so cool – he would skirt past Mollie (our dog) and just flop on the tiles as if to say “whatever doggie, I live here too”. Every night and morning he would cuddle with me on the bed. He’d see my car come in the driveway and make a beeline for the house so he could greet me. We went away for a couple of trips and I worried about him because we had a doggie door and he was determined to be an outdoor/indoor cat. But even when we were away for nearly 2 weeks he was waiting for us on top of my husband’s truck like “I was wondering when you’d get back”. UGH! He was in the house and blinking and meowing at me around 6pm or so and I pet him like I always do. Not half an hour later my neighbor knocked on my door and said her friend hit a cat and she was pretty sure it was ours. I was in denial. She said it was orange. I was still in denial. I asked if it had white feet. She said yes. Oh goodness… this happened on Nov 7th and I’m still crying about it. He was only a year and a half old.
        So unfair. So young, so sudden, so unexpected. Such a sweet boy. My baby boy. Thanks for all the stories. Difficult to read but helpful. Love and hugs to you all.

  71. Nicole says:

    Yesterday morning I woke up to find my 12 year old cat Emma barely Breathing. The night before she was fine. I am living with so much guilt thinking she suffered the whole night wihtout me. I found her under my basement stairs on a cold hard concrete
    floor. It took my husband and I five minutes to be able to reach her. And when he finally pulled her out I was scared to pick her up. I was scared of hurting her bC her cries were so painful and she was so swollen that I compleletly lost it. We wrapped her in a blanket and I drove looking for the first open vet bc it was only 8am and my vet was closed. After X-rays and an examination the vet told me if it were cat she would put her to sleep. They couldn’t even tell what happened to her bc of bad the edema was. My 7 year old was with me and then my husband came With our two little ones shortly after. She was also severely
    Dehydrated which breaks my Heart. I have two other cats so it’s almost impossible for me to
    Know who is eating or drinking and how much. I just can’t get over the guilt of not holding her and not being with her or not seeing any signs. Please say a prayer for my angel.

  72. Tricia says:

    My cats death was tragic. Sudden. Unexpected. Wed June 29th my world came crashing down. Her name was Puff. I was outside.. had to run in.. next thing there was a lady banging on my door.. asking if I had a calico cat, that she just hit a cat. My heart sank, I jetted to the road and there was my baby. Alive and crushed. I began to cry hysterically. Thing ppl don’t get at 33 I became a widow, my animals are my world. My kids are now grown. I have no friends. We live down a country road..I left her for only a few minutes.. why didn’t I bring her inside. I hate myself. My 20 year old son ran out, in tears. We raced to the vets 25 minutes away. Her body was broken. 3 limbs were not in tact. I CANNOT get that image out of my mind. I got to vets, it was after hours. Couldn’t find him, and he lives next door. A cattle man out back tried to call him, no answer. He said I will jump in my truck and go get him. I said she won’t make it that long!!!!! She’s dying!! She took a few gasps and died. I am beside myself. 4 days I’m still crying my eyes out. We came home, wrapped her in a little blanket, placed her in a box with plastic wrapped around it. We buried her, she’s so beautiful I can’t tell you. My son carried a huge flat creek rock laid it on a big tire with a rim.. made it all pretty. We planted flowers in it. Flowers that attract butterflies. She loved butterflies. There’s a solar light with butterflies that the print talks about sending love to heaven. there’s a ceramic blue bird in the flowers and a fiber optic butterflies. We put creek rocks all around the tire.. I have two other cats. One is 17 and his kidneys are starting to go. And a 14 year old maine coon. This Kitty was my baby. She was 3. She made me laugh with her craziness. I miss her so much, and it’s all my fault. I had a construction guy here today. I’m building a 150 ft fence with rollers are top. You can’t climb out. This will never happen again. Ever. I should’ve done it sooner. Now I hate myself. Hate hate myself. I will never forgive myself..ever.

    • Nicole says:

      So very sorry

    • Linda Schwarzenberg says:

      so very sorry for your loss, she sounded like a wonderful cat, just lost mine also, we all feel guilt bc we loved them and they were like our children and I feel like I should have protected him. I wish you all the best, she isn’t in pain anymore and knew you loved her. Love never dies. xx

  73. Thasmera says:

    I just lost my beloved cat yesterday ,his name is Dazzle. My little sister called him PinkyPie lovingly. Its the hardest thing i have been through. Although i have been through it twice. I hate a white cat named Tutty 2 years back,and only last year we decided to get two more for my sisters. Tutty wasn’t very happy with the. He was very fond of leaving home for a couple of days and returning. One morning he just didn’t return. It was too hard to go through it because i had the other cats. It was lik a habit for all three of my cats to sleep outside no matter what. Sometimes we would chase them out if they had done something really wrong. I feel guilty about that. Yesterday i called for Dazzle since 6 pm until about 9. He just didn’t come. The next morning we found him outside my window,frozen…To death! :'( ! His body was in a position as if he strived to come home and i felt so terrible to have to feel his stiff body if he was alive. I stayed in my hws and screamed in tears. Never before had i thought of losing him. I feel so guilty like its my fault. It probably is for all i know. My story is much different from the rest above. I feel like the most horrible person.

    Dazzle was a very likable nd cuddly cat. He just loved a back scratch. He occasionally or all the time enjoyd sleeping near my feet which was odd bt he never moved from there,part of his characteristics. We all loved him so much. He was my best friend when i cried. If ever i tear on the couch he would jump on my lap and sit. He was so much to me.He still is. I miss him so much that my eyes are thick from endless crying.
    I have learnt something that all of you should know,God creates us and he can take us away at any time. The point is to be happy no matter what yet still grieve for the loss of a loved one but bare in mind that they are in a happy place out of misery and waiting for us to join them.

    RIP my baby! I love u so much. I will miss you every day and in every moment you will be in my thoughts!!! :* :'( 🙁

  74. Laurie says:

    Never are there any easy or fast ways to cope with the pain of missing your cat. Grief is painful and so sad. Eventually your heart will heal and you’ll feel your spirit lighten up again…in the meantime, it might help to read pet loss books.

    For me, just crying helps. I have to go through the dark pain of grief before the light freedom of healing starts to creep in.

    You WILL feel better, your heart will heal. It just takes time. Let yourself grieve your own way. I find writing helps a lot, and believing that my lost cats are in God’s hands now.

    In sympathy,

  75. Rachelle T. Nash says:

    To Jessica,
    Re: Her beloved, precious Janvier

    My mo-mo ..we lost him suddenly on tuesday and i cleaned his litter but will not remove his food or water… & drink my coffee out of the mug ( washed) where he strained to take his last sips of water before his kidneys failed..
    I can barely breathe but sweetheart..
    Dont you, for one second ..feel that its pathetic that you havent just cleaned up as if Janvier was nothing.
    Thats your little Angel and you hold on and leave things how they are and where they are as long as you need to..its nobodys business and no one else decides what YOU need to feel any comfort you can..
    My litter and food will stay as long as i need. Its my loss and pain and love for mo-mo…
    So know that you definately arent alone in the agonizing pain…and i will keep you in my prayers.
    It took courage to share and you helped me to breathe into the next moment.
    God bless you & Janvier & your family…
    Xo, Rachelle, my son jj …& mo-mo?

  76. Addison says:

    We just had to put my sweet little black kitty, Niko, down. We had gotten him at the end of May last year from the humane society. He was a mangy little thing with what appeared to be cut-off whiskers. He was so teeny and only about three months old. My entire family fell in love with him instantly. Within about three days of having him he started wheezing every time he took a breath, so we took him in to the vet. He had a respiratory infection (which is common in young cats). He responded well to the antibiotics and got better within a couple of days. We nursed him back to health and eventually got some meat on his bones. Throughout this last year he has brought so much joy into our lives. He kept us on our toes and constantly laughing. My little guy was so sweet and loving and had so much life in him. Things were great up until a couple months ago when he started peeing on our floors instead of in his litter box. We tried changing the litter, but he still continued to pee wherever he pleased, which was odd because we had never had this issue before. It was annoying yes, but nobody thought much of it until earlier this month. He had started drinking a ton of water and being very lethargic, which was very unlike him. He was not easily roused and didn’t even beg to go outside anymore. His food consumption dropped every day and he lost several pounds (he was already scrawny to begin with so at this point he looked very unhealthy). We took him to the vet and she told us that his right kidney was inflamed and his urine test came back as an UTI- we treated it with antibiotics. We decided not to have his blood run because we just didn’t think spending $100 more on another test was necessary. He perked up quite a bit, but he still was not himself. He wasn’t eating his normal amount of food and started eating his litter which was a sign of anemia often associated with renal failure. After his medicine was gone, he began to show more signs of kidney failure. He was lethargic, hardly eating, consuming so much water, peeing everywhere (mainly because he lost control of his bladder), eating even more litter, and vomiting. We knew at this point that it was not an infection and that he was deteriorating. I had left last Tuesday for a camp and returned yesterday. My mom had said that he wasn’t eating or drinking and it could just be depression since I had been gone for five days, so we all were holding out hope that he bounce back. I had gotten home around 5pm and around 8:30 he started vomiting up stuff that was not his food, being that he hadn’t eaten anything in several hours. It was horrifying to see my six pound kitten so vulnerable and miserable. After this had happened I knew that he was not going to get any better. We couldn’t take him to the clinic because they were closed that weekend and our vet was out of town. At about 9 he was unable to walk without falling over because of his fatigue. I made a pallet on the floor and laid him on it and I laid next to him. I was already so sleep deprived from being at camp, I don’t know how I made it to 2am and then waking up at 5. Watching him lay there so helpless was absolutely heartbreaking. Nobody thought he would make it through the night, but sure enough, he did. I prayed and prayed that he would be healed or that Jesus would take him peacefully. He made no improvement over the next 12 hours. He continued to lay there and then every so often try to walk/ crawl to his water bowl, only to hover his head over it and then fall because he was too weak to do it on his own. We helped him stand up without falling and helped him stand over his bowls with no success of consuming what was in them. He would let out little meows as he laid there completely exhausted. The emergency animal hospital charged $90 for the just the euthanization. That is not including the sedative, and just the visit in general. It was just too much to pay so we decided to have a close family friend put him out of his misery. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make. I just could not stand to see him like that for another night. In his last couple of hours he appeared to be delirious, meowing and stumbling to his water dish and letting his face fall in it. This was probably one of the saddest things I have ever had to witness. Around 8pm we all said our tearful goodbyes and thanked him for the happiness he had brought to all of us. He had fought so hard to stay with us, we just couldn’t let him suffer any longer. It has been insanely difficult to hold back tears. I keep expecting to see him jump up on my bed and lay down to show me that he was ready for bed. Losing my little guy has been so so hard. I did not think losing a pet would be so painful. I think the reason I have been so incredibly affected by this is because Niko had never done me wrong. He was loyal, and a constant in my life. He loved my family so very much and as terrible as his last days were, I am happy he waited until I got back from camp so I could say my goodbye and hold him one last time, as selfish as that sounds. Regardless of the number of times I have bawled in these last two days, I am so grateful that he is in a much better place, misery free.
    Until we see each other again, Niko, I love you more than you know. I have cherished this last year with you and I choose to remember you as the fun loving kitty you were before you had to endure this sickness. You were such fighter who loved his family. Thank you.
    With deep love and compassion for you, baby Neeks, your owner, -A

  77. Katie james says:

    I lost my cat milo last night. He was in a neighbours garden and her dog chased him so he ran up onto her roof and fell off im so heartbroken at the moment i dont know what to do i have 2 others but he was part of the family. We have buried him at the bottom of the garden but dont want to. Go out there. How can i recover from this

  78. Laurie says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a cat is a sad and heartwrenching experience, and our lives are never the same.

    Here’s a lovely poem to memorialize your cat. You’ll cry – and your tears will help you heal.

    Poem For Cats
    Author Unknown

    And God asked the feline spirit
    Are you ready to come home?
    Oh, yes, quite so, replied the precious soul
    And, as a cat, you know I am most able
    To decide anything for myself.

    Are you coming then? asked God.
    Soon, replied the whiskered angel
    But I must come slowly
    For my human friends are troubled
    For you see, they need me, quite certainly.

    But don’t they understand? asked God
    That you’ll never leave them?
    That your souls are intertwined. For all eternity?
    That nothing is created or destroyed?
    It just is….forever and ever and ever.

    Eventually they will understand,
    Replied the glorious cat
    For I will whisper into their hearts
    That I am always with them
    I just am….forever and ever and ever.

    • Leo says:

      Laurie, thank you for this wonderful poem. There are very few words that make one feel a tinge of hope after losing a cat, and this poem manages to do that!

      I lost my baby of just 4 years old yesterday from a lymphoma in her kidneys. She didn’t suffer too much as I took the decision to ease her pain and put her down immediately but the grief is unbearable. She was my only companion for a very long time as I also worked for home, she was always with me. She helped me get through my depression, by giving me reasons to continue fighting and living and trying to be a better person. Now that I finally got better she’s gone and I fear I may not know how to deal with life without her. Just having an ounce of hope that she’s out there still looking out for me is incredibly comforting – that is how she was, she knew that I needed her and she was there for me unselfishly and never asking for anything other than love. What a truly ‘glorious cat’ she really was.

  79. jayjo says:

    I lost my precious Puka Shell three and a half weeks ago. It feels as if the tears will never cease falling. 17 years of bright blue eyes, powder soft white and grey fur, and the most songlike purr I’ve ever heard a cat produce. I was just 7 years old when this tiny, 2 pound fluffball entered my life. And though I had a cat that heavily favored me and this cottonball, dubbed Puka after much deliberation, leaned towards my mother’s affections, over the years we became unequivocally inseparable. She went from “the family cat” to “Jamie’s cat,” especially as other pets passed on… all my love had to go somewhere. And that love nestled into Puka and grew into a garden of the most beautiful kind. I struggle(d) with major depression and anxiety, beginning at the onset of pubescence and slowly ruining my existence since, and Puka would purr and purr and purr whenever I was even a little upset. She was the kind of cat who loved everyone, loved to be in the center of everything, but she always came to my door first.

    She was always happy. Always happy to see me, which, unfortunately, is a rarity in the human world. Puka never failed to greet me at the door until her body wouldn’t allow her to walk. This cat was almost effectively nonvocal aside from purring (and the way she purred sounded like she was simultaneously humming-it was divine). She was a Himalayan (blue point) and her nose never really grew, which sometimes meant she made a small noise when breathing. I still think I hear her breathing noises at night. I hear them in my dreams, along with her purr. Those cruel, cruel dreams.

    When Puka was 11-12, she was diagnosed with chronic renal failure. We also had a cancer scare in trying to find out what was wrong and I cried for ages at the thought of losing her. I would go on to have many tearful nights just thinking about losing my very best friend. But Puka just purred her happy purr, comforting me when I was trying to comfort her. I did what I could to keep the CRF at bay, and I can at least take comfort in that. And that, somehow, between her little body and my efforts, we had another 5 solid years together.

    The disease slowly but relentlessly robbed her body of all fat and muscle. She went from a slim 8 pounds to a frail 4 pounds over these years. When her time came, she went from trotting down the hall to all at once struggling to walk a step. As cats are so insanely compensatory, it would turn out that she had but 4 days remaining. It was as sudden as it wasn’t; I knew she couldn’t have had that much longer, but she always acted like she couldn’t be stopped. I had a feeling that this was it yet my mind clung to a blind optimism that she might recover. When I tried to call the vet, I got out two words before choking on sudden sobs. Thank goodness they were so patient. There was much deliberation between us and the ever so wonderful vet. He said that Puka was not in pain, but, of course, euthanasia was on the table. We discussed letting her go naturally and laid out a plan in case she was in pain. Got her some fluids to ease the incoming difficulty of drinking. I am so thankful for the time I had to say goodbye to the darling little cat whom if I did not have, I would have caved into the world’s pressures and I would not exist today.

    After the vet, for the next 3 days, I would not leave my beloved Puka’s side for more than a restroom break or a 3-minute shower. Puka was in swift decline, and it wouldn’t be long before struggled to stay upright and eventually laid down for good. I soaked her lush white coat in tears so many times. Her last meal was turkey mash with ice cream for dessert. She laid on plush blankets, wrapped up to stay warm, with a heater as necessary. I pet every inch of her, trying to commit every sweet and innocent curve, paw pad, or strand of fur to memory. Turned her hoping to avoid her faint squeaks of discomfort (thinking of how she sounded so weak is countless daggers through my heart). Brushed her gently. Took in her sweet scent. Lifted her perfect little head with the most delicate of hands. Cried and cried. Kissed her little pink toes and the softest spot between her ears. She was peaceful. Purring until she was too weak. She grew ever more languid, but always looked comfortable…

    Those 4 days kind of melt together as one; I didn’t sleep for long when I was able to sleep at all.

    Puka took her final breath at around 3 a.m. on April 29th. I didn’t know pain like this existed until she left me. Puka was my source of comfort for every wrong in the world and, instantly, I was alone and I was lost, lost beyond comprehension. There, my best friend, my sister, my daughter, my ultimate comfort, and the very being that made life worth living, passed away in my arms, in this bed, in this room, in my love. And though the wound isn’t as shocking as it was when it first opened, it is endlessly sore. And every hour that passes I find myself missing her further. For the vast majority of my life, I would reach out and hug this cat. That urge is going to take along time to dissolve. But now all I have is a self to hate, no one to love, and endless tears.

    Puka Shell, you were perfect. May you rest in serene peace. I love you. I miss you.

    • ray says:

      i just lost my baby of 16 years. He died alone and away from family and home… i wish you the best in your recovery. The journey will be long and hard for everyone who have loved a cat as you and I have.

      I am empty and my days are aimless…… push on.. push on.. push on forward

    • Tristan Nadine says:

      I’m crying reading this, as you can see from my post up top-When she was ailing, the night before I took her to the vet-I didn’t even take a shower, I made sure I was right there-If she started puking I’d be right there to lift her little body for it exhausted her and she’d collapse-I’d kiss her all over and her toes, belly etc. At the vet, before I put her down, I did that, I kissed all her toes, her head, her belly and lost it-I couldn’t breath, couldn’t speak, just horrible-Like you she was my everything, I work from home, she was my daughter, I’m not having children, she was my alive teddy bear for I could carry her anyway, and she loved it-

      I’ll go lay in the bed and the blanket she laid on, I’ll kiss the spot she always laid on-Same with the living room blanket-The pain is so immense, so very immense it makes me sick-I hope you are doing the best you can, I’m so sorry for your loss, I am so very sorry-

    • Spencer says:

      Well written, you have just wrote near word for word the relationship I have with my Barns, who after 16 years had to be out down two days ago to cancer. The world is a horrible place, and my cat barns was a shining sun. I will never, never get over this. I’m heartbroken, Devastated beyond all measure.

  80. Lynda says:

    I had to say goodbye to my cat yesterday, and I miss her so much I can’t breathe. She was coughing and for weeks I thought it was a hairball she couldn’t get out, but she had started losing weight. I thought it was a good thing for a while, as she had been overweight. But when I took her to the vet, the x-ray showed lung cancer which had spread. The tumor was wrapped around her esophagus and there was no viable treatment. I couldn’t have afforded it anyway. So, I took her home with me and we had another 3 weeks. She had lost an incredible amount of weight–from 15 down to 10 pounds, and she was a very large-boned cat. Her skin was hanging off her. I could feel every bone in her little body. Her muscles had wasted to nothing. I want to die when I think how frail she was. My poor baby. She couldn’t eat much without getting sick. For a couple of weeks, I was able to hand feed her and syringe fluids to keep her going. This last week was bad, though. She stopped hanging out on the chair by the window, which is where she loved to sit and watch the world go by. She started sitting in the closet, which she had never done before, or under the bed. Even trying to get a small amount of water down her throat made her regurgitate. She couldn’t swallow and was constantly drooling, and her fur was matted with drool. I just wanted to hold on a little longer. My god, I miss her. I found an in-home vet who supplied me with subcutaneous fluids and an ear gel to administer prednisone without making her sick, but while the fluids seemed to help for a day or so, the prednisone did nothing. Even the last night I had her with me, I gave her more fluids but they didn’t really even absorb. She was just going downhill fast. The next to last day, she did sit in the window for a little while. I emailed the vet to come yesterday to help me put her to sleep in my home, so she would at least be spared the terror of the vet, which she hated. She laid on my all day, she was so tired. Her eyes looked faraway. They had had that look for weeks. My poor little baby was so hungry, but she just couldn’t get anything down her throat. I can’t imagine how hard it was for her, feeling so hungry all the time. She had started to refuse to even let me try to feed her because I guess it hurt so bad. I know if I hadn’t had the vet come and put her to sleep, she could have gone on a few more weeks on just subcutaneous fluids, but she was suffering. She was making this awful gulping sound when she swallowed, and I could tell even swallowing was hurting her little throat. I’m grateful I knew she was leaving me and that I had some control. I was able to lay with her all day yesterday. What sucks so bad is that she had energy. She was 12, but she wasn’t physically debilitated at all. She could jump and didn’t even have trouble breathing. It was that she was starving. I don’t even think the cancer was hurting her. She hadn’t coughed lately, either. I think she could have lived a while if it hadn’t been for that tumor wrapping around her little esophagus. God, it was so hard to let her go. I didn’t want to do it. I will say that holding her in my lap as her little heart stopped was probably the most precious thing I’ll ever experience. I have no children and she was my baby. I was responsible for her, and she trusted me, and I think on many levels I did the right thing, so I have no overwhelming regret, but I’ll never forget holding her little body in my arms, wishing I could just comfort her in her final moments. I hope she was comforted. God, I can’t believe how much I miss her. I took her down to my boyfriend’s farm. He’s out of the country, but I got a shovel and buried her, and when I had to put her in the ground, I thought I would die. I wrapped her little body in a towel and just held her for a few minutes. I kissed her, and breathed in her smell, and I felt her tiny little bones one last time. It hurts so bad. I feel like my insides are being ripped out. She was part of me. She stayed warm the whole trip down, and even when I put her in the ground, her body just didn’t seem dead. It was stiff, but it was still warm. I can’t handle thinking that I put her in the ground. It seems so wrong. I don’t want her to be gone. I came home and my apartment was just so empty. She was my only companion for 10 years. She was here every minute of every day, and now I am so alone. It makes me panic. I feel terrified without her. She was my other half. It doesn’t feel right that her presence is gone. She was such a strong presence. Her energy is just gone. Why? Why does she have to be gone? It just feels so wrong. I’m so lost without her. This is worse than any breakup I have ever felt. I’ve never felt pain this deep. It feels wrong to be here alone. I’m not sure how to move forward. I have been crying every day for the last month, knowing she was leaving me soon. I thought maybe I would feel some relief after she was gone. But even her little sick body laying beside me brought such joy and comfort. I know she was hurting, and I am glad I didn’t wait until she died on her own. I am leaving the country in two weeks, and if she died alone while I was gone, or with some stranger here who couldn’t comfort her, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. So, it was as good as it could have been. But I’m so lost without her. I just want to hold her again. I want her little body curled up against me the way she had slept for so many months as she got weaker. She got so clingy with me and would let me hold her and seemed to want my affection more than ever. My little baby. God, I miss her so much.

    • Lizzy says:

      Lynda, Yes I know how you are feeling, I felt & feel the same & its been two weeks since Cleo was put to sleep. My panic attacks have been terrible & I havent been able to stay in my home by myself at night. The emptyness is awful, you know I think we take our pets for granted, they are always there & without them they make the home so empty.I feel so guilty having to have made the decision myself, I always thought she would die in her sleep. I cant talk to people about her as I burst out crying. Im sure people that dont own pets have no idea the grief we feel, but believe me I have lost a lot of loved ones & the grief for Cleo is as real as their deaths were.
      I know days will get better & their presence will be felt in our homes for a long time. I cannot believe how empty my home feels & I feel insecure, its as though she was a protection for me, instead of the other way round. She was my baby in all ways. I loved her so much. I am thinking of you all & understand just how you all feel.

      • Lynda says:

        Thank you, Lizzy. Yes, there is a deep terror inside me without her. I feel haunted. I look over at the window and I try to pretend I see her there. I just want to see her and hold her again. I thought she would go on her own, too, and I didn’t want to take even a moment of her life away too soon, but every night was so bad there at the end, and I worried she would die alone while I was asleep. I wanted to make sure I was holding her and soothing her through it. Every time she got sick and started to act like she might not be able to hold down her water or medicine, I would just talk softly to her and gently pet her, and it usually kept her from throwing up. It’s crazy how tending to a sick animal will make you feel so unbelievably vulnerable and attached to them. I think it’s like you said, almost like we need them as if they’re protection, even though we are supposedly caring for them. I guess it’s the other way around, because I feel so lost without her. She has my whole heart, and now she’s gone. I had to get rid of so much of her stuff because it’s torture to see it and be reminded over and over that she’s not here anymore. It’s so hard. She’s just not here. I’m freaking out so bad, and I want to get a grip. I thought today was going to go a little better but it just goes downhill as the hours pass and I can’t find any reason to smile or focus on anything except my complete emptiness. I’m so depressed, and it’s awful because I got so depressed when I found out she was sick that I stayed in bed with her for days on end and didn’t even go outside for 3 or 4 day stretches. I’ve never done that. I didn’t want to leave her side. I don’t know what to do now. I work from home, but gosh, I can’t concentrate on anything. Sometimes, she would pee on this little rubber mat I had over a vent in the bathroom, and I hated it back then, but now I want to walk in and see a puddle in there. I just want some little piece of her back. Even her drool is precious to me, as weird as that sounds. I have a spot on my pillow that she laid on in her final hours before the vet came, and it was covered in drool, and I don’t ever want to wash it. I’m losing my mind, I think. I threw away everything except one or two keepsakes, which I hid away until I’m stronger, yet I’m clinging to this pillow and just trying to pretend its her.
        Anyway, I’m hoping I can move forward. I’m so devastated. Thanks for your kind words, Lizzy. I’m so glad I can share here. It’s good to read about others’ experiences. This pain is so bad.

    • Morgan says:

      Your story had me sobbing by the end. I have never been able to put my feelings about losing my baby, Fidget, into words like you have without feeling like I’ve gone insane. Everything you’ve described is almost identical to my situation and feelings. I’m so very sorry you have to experience this pain. It truly is terrible and utterly heartbreaking. It’s been five weeks today that I lost my best friend, but I would rather have this pain now than to have never had her in my life. She was a blessing, there’s no denying it. I have never felt so much love. I’m convinced our souls were of the same, because without her I feel a part of me is missing.

    • Tristan Nadine says:

      I understand the below comment where you just wanted to hold your cat more—At the veterinarian I thought about just bringing her home so I could hold her but I knew she would start puking and was so exhausted, that it was animal cruelty for me to do that-I couldn’t handle the second shot to stop her heart, I could only hand the first one-But the pain, the pain of walking out of the vet and into my place, without my cat…it’s horrible-I have a 16 year old Weimaraner, her brother that I need to give all my love to, for he’s ailing-But there is something missing her, all 6lbs of her, she was a tiny cat, filled my studio so immensely-When I walk outside, I feel it, I feel her gone-It’s in my body, I can tell, she is gone-That is what hurts-No one will understand us, unless they have gone through this-I am not having kids, not fond of them, she and her brother are my kids-

      My cat was my world, my everything, my living teddy bear-I’d talk to her for she was a Tortie, very vocal-I’d hold her like a child on my hip, she was glued to me-

      Laying in bed, I hate it-I hate laying down, I don’t have her to hold, I don’t her make the little snore/squeaks as she sleeps, or when she stretches in her sleep, the most adorable sound would come out-

      If you read my post, it came fast…my cat had a seizure August 1st, and handful more-Was told that it was not good that she had this at her age, with her already known and treated thyroid and renal failure-So we tried anti-seizure medicines, assuming a stroke-I even took her to a neurologist-On August 12th, I drove away with hope-That she would be ok on some new medicine, but if you would have told me I had 10 days left with her, so tragic-

      I hope you are ok and if you can give me any advice I’d so appreciate it- My cat’s love is something no human could ever provide to me, ever-The unconditional, constant form of love is amazing-Her personality was awesome, so much fun, feisty and sweetness at the same time-

      I hate August 22nd, I hate it-I now focus all my energy when I’m not crying to Jager, I know he senses she is gone, I must take care of him-It’s the only thing keeping me going right now-

  81. Cindy says:

    Had to put my Ragdoll cat Calleigh down today. She was 9 years old. She put up a big strong fight to stay here with me but her body couldn’t go on. She had a mega colon and we had the surgery done to correct it. She got to come home for three days and she took a turn and the new colon was not viable. Nothing more could be done. She was loved beyond words and I can’t stop crying… I miss her so badly. But I know in my heart we tried everything and she was loved and she loved us. She purred all the way up to the end… I just can’t believe she is gone. God got a great kitty today and I know he’ll take good care of her and I will see her again!

  82. Charles says:

    Atticus, our feline companion of 16 years, passed away yesterday, and my wife and I are overcome by grief. I have lived with many cats over 40 years, and he was the most courageous, loving, and affectionate cat I ever knew. He was an orange tabby, who looked like a miniature tiger, but more often acted like a dog. He would meet me at the door when I came home at night, follow me from room to room, and when I sat down, he would jump on my lap and put his front paws on my shoulder so that I could gently pat his hind quarters. We even played a game where I would throw a small object and he would chase it down, bat it around for a bit, then bring it back to me and drop it at my feet. We would continue like this until he grew tired — he was 16 after all. Even so, I thought we would have at least 4-5 more years together.

    Then, seemingly, out of the blue, he developed a wheezing sound whenever he purred. I wasn’t alarmed, he was still active and alert. As he had never had any respiratory distress, I thought it was some congestion that would clear itself up. The next day it got worse and, that evening, I made an appointment for the vet to see him the next day at 5 pm. On the day of the vet visit, I stayed home from work to make sure he would be okay. The labored breathing was more frequent, and I only hoped he would not pass away before I could bring him to the vet. Finally at 5 pm, I brought him to the vet. She put him in an oxygen tent, then gave him a sedative, and took x-rays. She sent the x-rays to the radiologist, but neither she nor the radiologist could see anything definitive, but there did appear to be a mass in the region of his larynx. The vet sent me to a nearby Emergency Animal Hospital where they could give Atticus around the clock care. At the hospital, they put him in an oxygen tent and planned to do an ultrasound of his neck the next day. His breathing seemed a little better when I checked on him before leaving the hospital that night The next day I spoke with the internist, who told me she did the ultrasound but it was difficult from the ultrasound to determine what it was, but she believed it was a cancerous tumor growing near his larynx and it was impeding his breathing. She told me there were three options — 1) put an aspiration needle in his throat and attempt to get a sample, 2) do an endoscopy and get a biopsy to determine whether chemotherapy or radiation was indicated if the mass was cancerous, 3) put him on steroids which would shrink the mass and inflammation and allow him to go back home with a decent quality of life for 1-2 months. Every option was bad, but I chose the endoscopy to give him what I thought would be the best chance. The next day, about a hour or two before they were to do the procedure, his condition took a turn for the worse, as his breathing became more labored. They said that it was now too risky to do the procedure, because there was a very good chance that the endoscopy could cause swelling, which would effectively close his throat so that he couldn’t breathe. Then an emergency tracheostomy would be required to keep him alive. That was the last thing I wanted to do to Atticus. So we decided that we would begin the steroid treatment. At least, we would have a month or two with him at home. I visited him that night, and he looked groggy from the sedative, but his breathing was better.

    The next day, I got a call from one of the internists who told me that, even after a second dose of steroids, he had taken another turn for the worse, and that if I wanted to see Atticus, I had to come right away, because he could pass away within the next few hours. I hurried over to the hospital, and when I got there, he was sitting up and seemed alert. I put my hand into the oxygen tent to pet him and he rubbed his head against my hand like he used to. Then I opened up the door so that I could kiss him on the forehead. The nurse came by and when she tried to push his head back in so that she could close the door to the oxygen tent, he rubbed his head against her hand too, just like the Atticus I had known for the past 16 years. Nevertheless, the internist said that while he seemed more alert now, for most of the day he had been laying on his side, hardly moving, and breathing heavily. She said that, for Atticus, it was like trying to breathe through a cocktail straw. She also said that he had not responded to the steroids as well as they had hoped, and it might be time to consider putting him to sleep. That didn’t seem to correspond with the Atticus who was now in front of me. I said I would come back in an hour and check on him. An hour later, I came back and he was lying on his side, his head barely moving and his eyes half open, as he wheezed with each breath. The internist came back and explained to me that while lymphoma normally responds well to steroids with a dramatic short-term “recovery”, other forms of cancer do not respond as well and he most likely had another form of cancer growing in his throat. I told the internist I just wanted to give him one more day with another dose of steroids to see if he could get better. I told the internist that I would come back in an hour, check on his condition, and then decide.

    I sat on a bench in front of the hospital. I thought there was no way I could make the decision to put him to sleep. Atticus was a friend, and family member, who had always been there for us for 16 years. How could I make the decision to take his life? Using my phone, I started reading articles on websites about making end of life decisions for your seriously ill feline or canine companion. Two things that stuck out to me was the question are you prolonging your companion’s life for yourself or for him and the comment left by someone who said they thought they could never put their cat to sleep, but when they finally did, they felt a sudden release which allowed them to be at peace with their decision.

    When I went back inside, a nurse put me in an examination room. Soon after, the internist came in with Atticus wrapped in a towel. I took him, and hugged him, and kissed him. He seemed alert and wanted to jump down to explore the room. I asked the internist if it was okay before letting him down. He went about the room investigating things with his usual curiosity. I sat on the floor and watched him closely. The internist said that she would leave us alone for awhile but if I needed her I could call out for her and she would come. Soon Atticus came back from his explorations, and sat next to me. His breathing became more labored. As I stroked his beautiful coat, he lied down on his side next to me. He laid his head against the cool slate floor. His mouth opened as he began to gasp for each breath. I couldn’t let him go through another minute of this. A nurse happened to come in the room, and I asked her to call the internist. The internist came and I told her it was time.

    She came back in, and explained the procedure to me. Atticus would first be given a sedative to induce sleep and then pentobarbitone to stop his heart. I asked if I could hold him during the procedure, and the internist said absolutely. She got down on the floor with me and Atticus. I asked if, before she started, I could play a recording of my wife singing “You Are My Sunshine” to Atticus. I held him in my arms and told him I love him as my wife sang to him in the recording. She said she did not have the emotional strength to be there for the procedure, which I completely understand. The internist injected the sedative, and Atticus’s labored breathing grew quiet, Atticus had the most peaceful expression on his face. Then the internist injected the pentobarbitone. A few seconds later, she listened for his heart with her stethoscope, and told me Atticus had passed. It was incredibly peaceful as I continued to hold him in my arms. He was perfectly still, almost as if he was sleeping. I did feel that sense of release and peace that I had read about. I knew at least the last decision I had made for Atticus was the right one. The internist told me she would leave me with Atticus and whenever I was ready, a nurse would come take Atticus away to be cremated and then his ashes returned to me. I continued to hold him for a long time, crying, telling him I loved him and petting his beautiful coat, as soft as it had always been. Finally, I called the nurse to take him.

    I left the hospital and called my wife to tell her it was over. As I walked home, a soft rain fell. On the way, I asked myself so many questions — would we have had a different outcome if I had brought him in at the initial signs of respiratory distress? If I had brought him to the vet six months earlier, could we have caught it in time? Did I fail my Atticus?

    When I got home, my wife and I held each other and cried. The apartment seemed so empty without him, he was such a presence in our lives and now he was gone. He left behind me, my wife and his brother Simon. Today, I told my wife that I was going out to get cat food for Simon. When I realized that before I had always said I was getting cat food for Atticus and Simon, or the cats, I choked up. Right now the grief is almost too much to bear. I will continue on, with courage, love and affection, like Atticus would have wanted. Thank you Atticus for sharing your precious life with me, thank you for teaching me to be a better person, and thank you for the love you shared with us.

  83. mimi says:

    I just lost my cat Max today. Sadly he managed to get out of the house into the streets and got hit by a car. He is the prettiest most perfect cat ever. Every one always tell me how gorgeous he is. He is only one year old and his birthday is next week and i was planning to throw him a party and a tuna birthday cake since tuna is his favorite. He made me a better person and I didn’t really cared about animals before that much know i support animals rights and try to help stray animals and raise donations. I don’t even know what to say tbh but I wanted to share my experience with my fellow cat lovers. I’m in so much pain right now I feel like my heart is shattered. I didn’t know losing a bet is this hard, he was my first pet i ever and he was a member of my family and made my life a so much better. I don’t know how to live without him he’s my best friend. And I keep thinking its my fault he died ):

    • Lizzy says:

      Thank you all for sharing about your pets, I am grieving for my cat CLEO, who had been with me for 18 years, I had her put to sleep on the 10th May 2016, & feel so guilty as I keep thinking I did it too soon. She weighed only 2 kilos & was being sick every day & had kidney problems. She was my reason for getting out of bed every day . I can’t stop crying & I am having panic attacks, just feel so sick. I can’t believe how empty my home feels & never realised just how much I did for her. Over the last 18 years I have hardly been away as it was CLEO I stayed home for, when I did go out Sh was always waiting for me. I got CLEO just after I lost my Son & she has been my best friend. I have lost many family members over the last year & this grief I am having is unbelievable. I have buried her at my daughters house where other pets are buried. I miss her so much.

    • Michelle says:

      Im sorry to hear about your loss.. I recently had a similar thing that happened to me..but my cat was an indoor outdoor I always knew their would be a chance something bad could happen to him while he was out side.. everything you said im feeling it too.. my cat died Sunday Morning right in front of my house.. after being hit by a car.. im trying to focus on all the good he brought to my life.. he was my first kitty.. that died not of old age.. and it has been such a tragic loss for me.. i go in and out of feeling better but the hardest is knowing how great of a cat I had and now i will never be able to hold and kiss him again.. but I know with time it will get easier .. but please try to focus on how good of a life you gave to him.. its what helps me get thru a little easier..because if I hadn’t taken my kitty in.. I know they wouldn’t of survived this long..

    • Nicky says:

      So sorry to hear about your cat. We lost our 6 year old calico, Miley, last week. She was used to cars, roads, but our new house is on a blind bend and cars come speeding past our house like they have a death wish. Someone ran over her and left her to die alone in our garden. Accidents happen but I will never forgive them for just carrying on their way and leaving her, as if she was nothing. They are part of our lives, it hurts when they go. Some people will never understand. It’s not your fault he died, but I feel your pain as I can’t help thinking had I found Miley straight away we might have been able to save her. The vet said it would have been very very unlikely as it appeared she managed to get herself in the garden and collapsed on the lawn and died there. He said it would have been a matter of minutes. I lie awake wishing it was just a bad dream. We also have Miley’s daughter she is 5, we are terrified to let her out now!

  84. Michelle P. says:

    Tuesday May 10th 2016 I took my Gracie to the vet because I thought she had a UTI. A couple days before I noticed she had stopped using the litter box. I was not expecting her to not return home with me that day. When the Dr. turned her over and stretched her out to check her, he found two large tumors . He believed they were malignant as one had started to ulcerate and he believed her kidneys were not working right. I had no idea she even was in any pain as she would snuggle up with us and sleep with us every night. I made the awful decision of having her put to sleep. I didn’t want her to suffer one more minute. I’m feeling terrible grief. I had her for 16 years. I wish that I had brought her home with me one more night to love on her and just let her know how much she was loved. It’s been a few days and during the day I’m ok now, but at night when I go to bed is the hardest. She used to wait for me on the steps and meow at me and then jump up in her spot by my husband and I. Then she would get her love and put us both to sleep by purring . I am absolutely heart broken .

    • Linda Jackson says:

      I know exactly what you are going through right now as I myself am still feeling the same some 6 months after lossing my beautiful cat Minette who I miss so very much every single day and believe I will for many years to come. I am crying now writing this as it is so very hard to control my emotions, I loved her more than I loved my parents and am not ashamed to say so, she was my bestest friend, my baby girl who will be forever in my heart and I am so glad I rescued her and gave her eight years of true love and happiness. She would lay in my arms every night purring and prodding me with her feet and I miss this so badly, I don’t sleep soundly anymore and take ages to fall to sleep and as soon as I wake up I have to get up because I miss our morning rituals so much. I cry most days and sometimes its so very overwhelming and I fell like I just want to be with her. She can never ever be replaced but I will eventually rescue a cat who will need my love. but for now my grief I feel must go on until the time is right. Most people don’t understand, but then most have never had the unconditional love that only can be gained from a beloved pet. I know my heart will never ever mend. I feel your pain and sorrow and I am sorry I cannot offer you any comforting words – but know I truly understand your grief.

      • alison says:

        i just loss my lil tuxedo yesterday i did my best just for her to survive she’s about two mos old died from diarhea i did everything to help her but still she left i cannot afford to send her to vet it hurts sometimes i wanna blame myself but i did nothing wrong.. all i know i love all cats

  85. Missy says:

    Today I lost my sweet Tyler. I adopted him when he was just 4 weeks old. Yesterday he turned 11. I’m greatful I got to spend one last birthday with him. He had been sick for a year and this week he just took a nose dive. The ver thought he had cancer.Wouldn’t eat or drink and barely moved. When I took him in today it was just obvious he was ready. I stayed with him till the end and when his ashes come back I will bury him in the garden. I miss him so much it hurts. For me he was my son my furr baby. He meant everything to me for 11 years. When he nearly died 5 years ago I got him through it. He was always there for me even when no one else was. I keep looking at his favorite spots and cry when of course he isn’t in any of them. I know I did the right thing and he is at peace but I still wish he was here. Rip my sweet baby and know how much you will be missed. Mommy loves you.

  86. chris says:

    I miss you so much Mikko you were a badass Maine Coone just like Darnell, I miss you both so much, honestly i wish us useless humans lived one eighth of a cats life, because people=sh*t, cats on the other hand are gods/goddesses compared to us. Shadow, Sparkles, Simon, Darnell, and Mikko, I always have you furry little beasties in my thoughts and I miss you guys for life. 🙁

  87. taylor says:

    My baby boy Armani just passed away on Sunday. He was only a kitten, and he was 7 months old. He was a beautiful Siberian kitty who i loved more than anything. When we found out about the breed, we fell in love with them, as i am allergic to cats, and we had to adopt one. We got Armani in early December. I will never forget how loving and affectionate he was, he truly was my dream cat. I’ve had several cats in the past, but never one I’ve bonded to as close as i did with Armani. I remember when we first got him, and he would stay in my room and when I watched Netflix at night he would just curl up on my shoulder and watch it with me. Armani loved being held and cuddled, and he was unlike any other cat i ever had. He was the first cat who actually bonded to me, as all my other kitties liked someone else in the family and didn’t want me as their person. Armani was my best friend, he truly was. My mother, however has grown up with cats, and although i did not want Armani to be an outdoor cat, she eventually convinced me to allow him outside. She told me how being outside is part of a cats nature and how it can be cruel to keep them trapped indoors. Armani watched as our other cats went outside and he wanted to so badly, so i finally allowed him to start adventuring outside. Although he was still so little, he was so big, about the same size as my other adult cats, so i thought he would be fine. He never went far, and would always stick around the house. Whenever i called him, he always came running into my arms. However Sunday night, when I went to call for him, he didn’t come. I assumed he had just wandered off and he would be back in the morning, as he had done this a few times. I got up the next morning and got ready for school and went to school like any other normal day. however, when i arrived home from the school bus i noticed my mother’s car was in the driveway. She always gets home an hour or more after me so i knew something was up. It was then that she told me he had gotten run over by a car Sunday night. She saw him as we were pulling out of the driveway that morning and didn’t want to upset me and waited untill i got home to tell me. I have honestly never felt so devastated in my entire life. I feel like my heart is ripped in two. I stayed home the next day as did my mom. We buried Armani and i cut flowers for his grave but i couldn’t even go to his mini-funeral. I stood there and handed my mother the flowers and ran away crying. I have begun to sob, while writing this, because I miss my little baby so much. It seems like a different lifetime ago, when he was still here, as my life is completely different now without his presence. My mother and i decided that in the future, once i graduate high school, we are going to start our own cattery of Siberians and name it after our beloved Armani. My mother also contacted a breeder, and we are going to pick up a baby kitten on Sunday. It may seem too soon, or as if I am trying to replace Armani, but i believe having a little ball of fluff and sunshine running across my room will bring light to my devastated heart. I am going to name the kitten Georgio, in honor of Armani (Armani was named after the designer Georgio Armani). I am still heartbroken over Armani, and i don’t see the pain to be subsiding anytime soon, but I think Georgio can help ease the pain. I still cannot believe he is gone, and every day when i let our dogs out when i come home, i expect to see Armani running downstairs to see me because he heard the door open. I will always miss him trying to sleep on my head and purring so loudly that i cannot sleep. It was such a tragedy that he had to leave so soon, but he will forever be in my heart. I love you, my precious Armani, and I hope you are having a great time across the Rainbow Bridge.

    • Pat says:

      JUst lost my cat Sunshine today. She was 17 years old and had liver and kidney failure. I never knew it and feel so bad. Either did the vet one month ago- as she still looked so ehalthy. OUt of all the cats I ever owned int he past 20 years, she meant the most to me. I always called her Sunshine Boogy Down baby and Sunshine Girl. SHe loved sleeping with me too and loved when I used to brush her hair. She would walk around the house withb me while she was on my shoulders. I hope there is an afterlife and she is there happy. I love her and missher so much and am so devestated. I am so heartbroken that she is gone and I couldn’t save her. I hate that we all have to die. I think mother nature screwed up. I wish for immortality for all living beings. Cats are like children and she was part of my family.

      • gail says:

        I lost my best friend yesterday, my cat Socks of 16 yrs and I can’t come to grips with it, can’t stop blaming myself. I feel like it’s my fault and maybe something I did or didn’t do. I will never see his sweet face again and I don’t think I will ever be ok again. I think mother nature screwed up too, they should live forever.

    • mimi says:

      Same thing happened to my cat Max today he always wanted to go outside like other cats and I wouldn’t allow him he went outside today and no one noticed and we found him ): . I exactly know how you feel and your pain, Rip Mikko and Max

  88. Arlene says:

    It’s been one whole day without my cat Rufus. He was a stray, he came out of the blue and began to hang around my house. At first, my dog would bark at him when he saw him walking by the brick wall. Little by little we gained Rufus’ trust and were finally able to feed him inside our house. He got so comfortable that he would spend most of his days sleeping on my bed but would be gone by night. He began to feel at home, and we were more than happy to have him in our family. Rufus and my dog Hank were ALWAYS play fighting. It was the cutest thing! This went on for a little bit less than a year. Yesterday afternoon, I noticed that my bed was empty, Rufus didn’t come to the house.. I just thought it was a bit strange but didn’t pay much attention to it. A few hours later, I heard a very soft meow outside my window, when I checked, there he was laying down in such a strange position. I called my brother to see if he was okay (I really can’t deal with injuries, I’d faint). My brother saw that both of his back legs were completely destroyed. He must’ve ran across a car. My poor cat dragged himself to our house for help and safety. Who knows how far he was at the time of his accident. We immediately took him to the hospital and they told us that even with the surgery he wouldn’t make it so we had to put him down. I did not expect to feel this heartbroken, I just never imagine this. I miss him so much, I had no idea how much I loved him. I just wish I could’ve kept him home the night before.

    • gail says:

      I’m so sorry to read about your loss as I am crying over the loss of my cat Socks of 16 years, he died yesterday and I can’t stop crying and now crying over the loss of urs as well. I hate death and losing them is so awful, I just can’t deal with this and can’t stop blaming myself, feel like there was something more I could have done or something I did wrong, just terrible.

  89. Dan says:

    I lost my cat Izzy 2 days ago. This loss hit me much harder than i expected. It was sudden and unexpected.

    Izzy was a feisty petite black cat with beautiful green eyes. She had gotten very vocal in her last few years. She was quick to announce herself when she was hungry or wanted to go outside. At times, she could be moody, or withdrawn, or just plain bitchy. Although, i could pet her anywhere if she was feeling like being loved, she would let you know if she didn’t like it. Many people made that mistake.

    She was around 15 years old and i had her for the past 12. During this time Izzy must have lived in 10 different apartments and houses. She had originally belonged to an ex girlfriend. When we first started dating, Izzy was pregnant and had 4 kittens. Having not grown up with any pets, I never considered myself a cat person. Even with an allergry to her, this cat slowly won me over. My ex and I lived together for 3 years. We had both a cat and dog. The two spent much time together in the house. They would cuddle together and I think they both picked up traits from each other.

    When our relationship went sour, I knew it was time to move on. There was no chance the dog who i loved and cared for would be coming with me. After all the animals were hers before we met. But she couldn’t bring the cat due to her new landlord. The cat was going to go live with someone who cared for many cats. Being of the feisty nature, and growing up with a dog, Izzy was not suited for a multi cat home. By this point i was use to the cat hanging by my side and sleeping next to me at night. I knew moving to a new apartment in a new city by myself for the first time would be difficult. It was then i knew that the cat was coming with me. It was the best decision i ever made and i never regretted it. For the next 4 years it was just the two of us. She loved looking out the window, or sleeping late in bed. When i would sit on the couch, she had a couple spots right next to me were she would lay with me. I started to let her explore outside and she loved it. Always a fierce hunter, she would leave all sorts of treats at my door. Never shy, she would rub up against everyone who stopped to pet her. Pet people loved her (even after the occasional swipe). I always felt guilty when i would leave her to travel. Even though i had friends look after her, you could tell she was a little mad until i was back sleeping next to her at night. I moved almost every year or two. For an indoor/outdoor cat i thought it was going to be tough, but i made sure she was familiar with her surroundings and would let her explore. She always came back. Sitting on the porch waiting for me. Occasionally she would get in fights with other cats. I would tend to her wounds. Even though she was in pain, she knew i was helping her. When i was going through a rough time, she was my companion. Just content to nuzzle up next to me and purr. She really helped me through some lonely times.

    It could be tough dating and being a single guy with a cat. Especially since i probably didn’t fit the cat guy profile. But i would take it all in stride. I don’t care who it was, i was not getting rid of the cat. Not that any of them tried. When i met my future wife, she was not much of an animal person. I was not sure that she would except Izzy especially since she was from my ex. It took some time, but Izzy won her over. I can tell you from experience, cats choose us, not the other way around. It was the 3 of us for awhile until last spring we brought home a puppy. I was not sure how Izzy would take to this new addition, even though she had grown up with a dog. Well, lets just say they didnt become best buds, but Izzy was never scared or afraid and remained Queen of the castle.

    One of the things I will miss most is getting home from a long day at work and seeing that black cat sitting on the porch or driveway patiently waiting for me. She would run up and meow and rub herself against my leg. It was such a comforting feeling to know that no matter how crappy of a day it was, she was happy to see me. She got use to coming and going as she pleased. I preferred her to be in at night, but sometimes she would get on a schedule were she would be out at night. I would let her in early in the morning. There was always that sense of fear if she did not return on schedule. Saturday night she was out. Sunday morning i went to the front to let her in, but she was not there. I looked at the back door, but she wasn’t there either. I looked to see if she got stuck in the basement or garage, but she hadn’t. I knew something was wrong. I jumped in my car to drive around the neighborhood to find her. It didn’t take long. There she was, around the corner, on the lawn of the house behind ours. She had been hit by a car. I was devastated. We buried her in the back yard. My wife actually as the one to dig the hole and put her in a box. I was so proud of my wife for doing that to save me the pain of doing it, even though i felt like i should be the one. We buried Izzy in the back yard in the rain. She was so special to me. A lot of people could not understand the bond i had with that little cat. My wife understood well and i love her for that. I am really thankful to read about other peoples experiences and no i’m not alone. Even writing this is very therapeutic. I feel extremely sad but at the same time i’m thankful for all the years we had together and all time we spent together. Both good times and bad. She will be forever missed. Thank you all for reading this and thank you for sharing your own experiences.

    • natasha says:

      I’m sorry about Izzy. Please leep cats indoors or go for walks with a harness and leash. It’s too dangerous to let animals go where ever. Cars, anmals, as well as sociopathic people are dangerous.

  90. Mackenzie says:

    Hey everyone. I just had to put my 7 week old kitten down who was suffering from pneumonia and FKS. She was my barn cats baby and I took her in because she was weaker than the rest. Bugsy was the sweetest little kitten you could’ve met and captured everyone’s heart. I didn’t think that her death would affect me so much since she hasn’t been living with my family and I for so long but it feels like we lost a family member who has been with us for years. I don’t know how to cope with her loss because everywhere I go in my house I see one of her toys or somewhere I held her. Her death was sudden. She was perfectly fine the day before and was sleeping on my shoulder and scampering up my clothes. I don’t understand why this happened and how to cope with it?

  91. Laurie says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so painful to lose a cat you love, especially since you’re constantly surrounded by reminders of your loss. It’s a very sad feeling, and the grief can feel unbearable.

    Your pain will get easier to bear. It may never go away because you’ll always remember your cat with love and longing, but you will feel lighter and happier again. You will feel happy….but first you need to grieve your loss. When your cat dies, you really do need to honor your past and give yourself time to say goodbye. It’s painful, but it’s important to allow yourself to go through the pain.

    Your cat will live in your heart and soul, if not in your life.

  92. Daniel arebalo says:

    Hi everyone my name is Daniel I had my cat kitty for 3 years she was the best cat I ever had sweet lovable extremely talkative never hurt a fly all she did was love I remember all the great times we had she just passed away today I had to put her to sleep because me and wife recently fell on hard times and had to move in with her mom long story short her mom had dog’s and one of them got ahold of our kitty and punctured her lung rushed her to the vet and got the bad news today has been the worst day of my life I just don’t know what to do I feel terrible she was my world I just don’t know how to go on help please any advice would be greatly appreciated please

    • Daniel arebalo says:

      Thank you kitty for all the great memories you mean the world to our family and I know your in cat heaven hunting bugs like you loved to do ” no bug is safe” ? I love and I will see you again I love you so much rest in peace my baby you will be in our hearts forever I miss you so much

  93. Maria says:

    My baby Ronaldo was put to sleep today. Had him for 10 years. He was the best cat I ever had and I will never forget him. I love him so much. I hope he knew how much I loved him. Rip my beautiful boy.

  94. Laurie says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. There is almost nothing that helps when your cat dies, it’s just so sad. I’ll never forget the cats I loved and lost…Zoey and Fluffy were dearest to my heart. Nothing could ever replace them.

    What has helped is adopting another cat. I always give myself at least a few weeks to heal, but I keep my eyes open for animals who need homes. I live with a sliver of pain for the cats I don’t have anymore, but I also keep my heart open to love the cats in my life now.

    May your grief ease, your pain subside, and your heart heal. And may you never forget the cat you love, who is resting in peace and loving you right back.

    In sympathy,

    • Mary McCloskey says:

      Thank you Laurie for your comforting, thoughtful and caring words. It has been a difficult week. Co-workers, family,friends and people I don,t even know have helped greatly. A customer at work came in and asked if everything was okay and when I explained my pet had past away he understood the love of a pet. He asked if he could give me a hug. This was in the middle of the week and I could not stop crying. He said his dog Buddy had changed his life that he was thinking of ending his life when a friend gave him Buddy. Eight years later, he is engaged and having a baby. His life literally turned around from the love of a pet. He truly understood. Reading what you have said Laurie, the other stories I have read on this site and the support I have received has been very heart warming. I can not thank everyone enough for understanding my loss of my beloved pet Scrapper.

      Thank you again

  95. Mary McCloskey says:


    Scrapper died in my arms on the way to vet and when I got home I could not put him down I just held him and kept petting him like he always liked . I am lost without him. I went to bed alone for the first time in fifteen years and I do not think anyone can understand or fathom what I am going thru. I am 60 and have said good bye to many pets that I had to put to sleep. And family which my mom past away when she was only 54. Scrapper was always there for me good times and bad and when I came home from work he would make the day so right. I miss him more than I can say. I have went through loss with family and pets which I consider them all my loved ones. I had some one tell me one time when dog Tiny died that you don’t love animals you love people and I said did you ever have a pet and said no that they would not have one in their house and I said then you do not know how I feel. After Tiny, I was in my 20’s and I said I would never have another pet because it hurt so bad to lose them but it took sometime and eventually I did open my heart again but this time I think is the last because this is tearing my heart apart. I know they say in time but right now my heart is breaking and I do not know what to do. My room is so empty without him. May Scrapper rest in peace and out of pain. I think he held on so long for me and I know that sounds strange but I believe in my heart he loved me as much as I loved him. I believe in Prayer and I prayed to God that when it was his time to take him and when I was holding Scrapper yesterday I told him it was okay to let go and to not fight anymore and to just go to sleep. I some one reading this will say he was just a cat but Scrapper was more than that to me. I LOVE YOU SCRAPPER, I PRAY I SEE AGAIN SOME DAY GOD WILLING AMEN

    • Elizabeth says:

      I swear I know how you feel. KJ slept with me.for 17.5 years. I can’t even go in my room without breaking down. My house is so quiet and empty. I am alone and lonely and don’t know what to do either

    • Christine Poland says:

      Hello Mary
      I am 69 & 3 days ago had my beloved Nina put to sleep. She was 17 & had kidney failure. I live alone & she & I had a loving life together.
      She showed up in my backyard when she was just a tiny kitten. It was bitter cold that day. I fell in love with her and she with me.
      Having her put to sleep was truly one of the hardest things I have ever done! But I truly believe she would thank me because she was miserable. I have cried so much since she is gone. I have been told by well-meaning friends & family that I should get another cat but I do not want one at this time. I only want to think of Nina & grieve for her.
      I hope you feel better soon.
      The best to you & the memories of your sweet little guy.
      Christine Poland

    • Hilary says:

      There is no such thing as just a cat. He was your family. No one can ever know exactly how you feel. I lost my little guy yesterday, after 12 years together. He was my best friend. Life will never be as full again. There are no words. I’m so sorry for you.

  96. Mary McCloskey says:

    yesterday my cat scrapper of over 15 yrs died. He had kidney disease. In 2000 my niece brought him home someone had dumped him in a parking lot at her college. We had to feed him by eye dropper because he was not old enough to it eat on his own. She left to go on a trip and he would lay on my chest and sleep. from that day forward he was my cat. He only liked me and no one else. The other cat we had was bigger and he would sometime fight with scrapper, he was smaller, and that is how he got is name because he was a srapper he would fight back even tho he was smaller. Over the years I was concerned about his safety when I wasn’t home so I kept him in my room all the time. Everyday I would come home he and I had a routine I would get comfortable in my computer chair and he would wait patiently for me to call him to get in my lap or he would see I was ready and just come over into my lap where we would watch tv or be on the computer together if I had the chair away from him he would gently touch my back to say more or less hey I am hear and I want in your lap, best feeling ever, and I miss that touch so so very much. He slept with me every night he would wait until I was comfortable and not moving around and would come up and give me a kiss goodnight and then he would curl up be side me and I would hug him all night. I would pet him and rub under his chin before sleeping he would purr and purr. In 2012 the vet at that time gave my cat a shot for an allergy it put him into diabetes. I was giving him insulin and it was killing him I took him to a new vet and she pulled him out of it and things were going well with a special diet food. In sept, 2015 things changed. He was diagnosed with kidney disease since he was still eating and drinking she reccommeded giving him fluids at home every other day. He hated it and would sometimes throw up afterwards. His teeth got bad and started to get infected so I would have to take for a shot and it would clear this up. I got very sick recently and did not notice his mouth smelling. When I come home from work I saw something on his leg and it was drainage from his mouth it was infected again I called the vet and they said a technician could give him the shot for his mouth. My nephew took him because I was at work and I wanted him treated as soon as possible. I called while he was still at the vet to say I needed to get fluids because I was almost out but they missed understood and gave him fluids and I had gave him fluids just the night before , I called and they said that was ok because of the infection the fluids would be good for him and I could even still give him his scheduled fluids the next day. When come home from work on Friday he was in the litter box laying down and I did not know why then but I put him up on the bed and he ate and drank as usual and we went to bed and he curled up in his ball and laid in my arms all night which I did not know was going to be my last night with him. We got up on Saturday which was yesterday and he ate and curled up in my lap and we started our day . He moved over to the bed and was sleeping when I looked over after a couple hours his head went to the side and his legs were jerking or twitching and I got really scared it was Saturday and the vet was closed and the vet told me once that the worst thing for him was to die of thirst so I gave him more fluids and it did not seem to help. I held him and the twitching stopped but now he is gasping and water is coming out of his mouth I went on line looking for an emergency vet that about an hour away this all seemed to be happening so fast and I could not bear to see him like this so we left for the emergency vet but he died on the way there. I am feeling guilty that I gave him the fluids which he did not like and I am worried that I made the matters worse by giving him the fluids because on line it says that too much can fill up in their lungs what did I do to my my very precious friend. Scrapper was my best friend and now I feel so alone and I can not stop crying. It was late and it got dark so I will have to bury him tomorrow. I do not usual say how I feel and this is very hard I have put him in a box with his toys and I will have to go out and bury him soon I am feeling so very lost. I loved him with all my heart he was there for me always and now I feel I did something wrong to him. the vet asked to months ago his quality of life and I said he was doing all the same things and he was doing good until yesterday. How do I go on with out him

    • Jean says:

      I understand, it is not easy. I too lost my cat the same day, I miss her cuddles the most. I would say, lets go cuddle, and she would follow me to bed. I would wrap my arm around her big belly and bury my face in her back. My baby, I will forever miss 🙁

  97. Sil Dawson says:

    Hi all, its so comforting to read all of your experiences, helps me understand I’m not the only one going through the this. I lost my little baby Luna 2 weeks ago, she got hit by a car. We rescued her when she was a stray kitten after being dumped on the street by this family who simply didn’t want a cat anymore. We knew there was something wrong when she didn’t come back home on Sunday night, it was raining really bad and she hates rain so I knew something wasn’t right. I hoped she was hiding somewhere taking shelter from the rain, I couldn’t sleep all night I was so anxious waiting for her to come back. My husband went out to look for her on Monday morning and he found her at side of the road at the back of our house. He came back to tell me the bad news, I was in a complete state, couldn’t stop crying. He went back to get her but she was gone! Somehow I hoped it wasn’t her, her collar was missing so I prayed it wasn’t her, my husband was sure it was Luna but I hoped, just hoped it wasn’t her. An hour later we got a call, a vet saw her on her way to work and picked her up, scanned the microchip on her neck only to confirm it was her. Driving to go get her was awful, but the way back home was even worse, I carried her on my lap wrapped with her favourite blanket, her body so cold and stiff. That was my little baby, she was only 1 year old. I miss her so much, I’m still crying now and I don’t know how long it will take for the pain to go away. I hate myself for not going out to find her that Sunday night, i should have been there to find her. I miss her everyday, my crazy adventurous sweet little baby xxx

  98. Mira Kertia says:

    me and my boyfriend living in different dorm house. we decided to pet a cat in his room… so when i visited my bf room, I can meet ‘Ucil’… now, he is already an adult cat so we decide to pet another kitten.. my bf found her while she was following my bf who goingd downstir to take ‘Ucil’ food… her name was Whitney.. i named her cause ‘Whitney’ sound like ‘white’.. She has white fur..

    She likes going adventure.. visit another dorm room, even going to another room.. She doesn’t like skinship with my bf but really like when I touch her.. she doesn’t like stay in my bf room when i wasn’t there… hahahaha. maybe that was girl instinc.. she really like running around the stairs.. when she heard my bf open his room, she will rushed go to upstairs.. Ucil always bully her but it looks like she doesnt’t care.. She enjoy everything that we gave to her while Ucil don’t…

    I thought Whitney was 6months old.. and we already pet her for 3 months until this afternoon… I was in my dorm, cleaning, when my boyfriend called me.. he tells me that Whitney is gone.. One thing comes to my mind is she’s lost.. Until he said Whitney was got hit by a motorcyle. My BF said she was full with blood, just trembled and unconscious. My BF take her, lay her in his hand while on that state.. After 10 minutes trembled, she’s like stretch her body just like when she wakes up and she doesn’t move anymore… she’s gone…

    My BF buried her in dorm back yard, his dorm mate helped him. because those guys know Whitney so well too.. Whitney always come to their room too and they pet her too.. It takes 3 for me to realize Whitney is gone.. Now I just laying on my bed, crying.. Thinking abou her.. It must be cold down there, because it’s raining now… heavy rain… I can’t stop crying… He death was really pointless just because that stupid girls who drove her motorcycle. but I just keep thinking about how his little body is out there all alone in the dirt.

    Whitney-yaaa.. what are you doing there right now?? Are you playing with God now?? You must be very happy in there.. There’s no more big cat will bully you there, right… Please eat a lot… I’ll always miss you…

  99. Katstica says:

    My cat got hit by a car today, his name was Quinn and he was a little grey tabby with almond eyes. He was still alive when I found him but luckily unconscious, because his condition was pretty bad. It was so unexpected, he was only three years old. He would always roll over on his back so you’d give him belly rubs when you walked by and paw the air when he wanted attention. Every night he’d sleep right next to me on his own pillow and I already miss him a lot. We buried him in our back yard, but I just keep thinking about how his little body is out there all alone in the dirt. His death was pointless and just because of a reckless driver. I just wish I could hug him and give him scratches again, but I’ll never be able to.

    • aria saremi says:

      my cat, cookie, died 2 nights ago! he was hit by a car too and was only 1 year old 🙁 I am absolutely devastated and can’t stop crying. I know what you are going through! I keep seeing him in the apartment walking around or coming in my bed and sleep right beside me. he used purr a lot when I rubbed his neck and chin. loved it so much. he was waiting for me at the window every time I came home! now my home is insanely quiet and no one’s waiting for me any more 🙁 I loved him so much and miss him every minute! I keep thinking I wish I was there when he died so he didn’t feel alone. it’s unbelievable that he’s gone!

      • Ariel says:

        My cat Eloise got hit by a car 2 nights ago. Eloise was my entire world, my child. She was a year and a half. I went to a very dark place last night and thought I wasn’t going to be able to live without her. I have been feeling so guilty, too. I cried for 2 days straight with no relief in sight. I finally saw a tiny bit of light today. The temporary answer was a close friend of mine who took me in his arms for the entire day today and let me talk about it, and told me how I’d be hurting anyone by taking my own life. Darkest moments of my life. I miss my Eloise more than anything, and I loved her to death. I would have sacrificed myself for her. It’s ridiculous how much we can love a pet, but it’s okay to feel the way we feel when death claims our pets. We just need to take care of ourselves, too. I just wanted to tell you I completely understand how you feel.

      • aria says:

        Hi Ariel
        thanks for sharing your feelings. hope you’re feeling a little more relieved today. yes it’s surprising how you can have such a beautiful mother/father-child relationship with them. to me it’s not only losing a pet but it feels like losing the opportunity to love over and over again. it’s a shame that such a beautiful reciprocal innocent loving relationship can’t be continued any longer. the relationship with pets is based on pure love and what ever you do for them or they do for you has only 1 reason and that’s love. unlike human relationships which most of the times is based on mutual benefit.

  100. Smerlin says:

    On 31 March 2016 we had to say goodbye to our beautiful 17 year old black cat Tom, who was with us for 6 years. One year after we moved into the house we are currently living, on a beautiful summer afternoon when we were enjoying the sun in the garden, suddenly a black cat showed up and decided to enjoy the beautiful day with us. And he did not leave. We did not know what to think of it, because Tom certainly didn’t look like a stray cat, but since he decided to stay with us, and had flees after two weeks we put an flea collar on him. After a walk a few days later there was a note under his flee collar “Hi, this is Tom. He lived with us for 6 years, but recently he started to stay away. Please contact us”. So we contacted the neighbors who lives around the block and they told us that 6 years ago Tom suddenly walked into their lives too. Sometimes Tom still would visit them, but since that time he always stayed home with us. Our neighbors had 3 other cats, maybe he preferred a quite house since we had no pets at all. Tom was very affectionate and loved being petted, he was very sweet. He really loved attention, and he always followed us around in the house. When I was at work, he always kept my wife company, or when I was home, he would jump on my lap when I was on the computer (which sometimes would annoy me, but I now I wish he still would be able to jump on my lap, I miss him so much). Two weeks ago Tom suddenly stopped eating. We took him to the vet, but we were told he has stage 5 with kidney problems. They tried to flush his kidneys. We visited him in the ‘hospital’ and I never forget how happy he was to see us. He pushed his head on our faces and his tale was straight up. Next day we took him home. He was so happy, and jumped on the table, walking towards my wife, pushed his head to her, and then walking back to me, pushed his head to me, and repeated this several times. It really seems he wanted to tell us ‘thank you’ for getting him out of the hospital. Looking back, I like to think it was his farewell message to us, as soon after that he lost all his strength and had not much energy to jump on the table anymore.
    After 2 days we were ready to put him down, as he still did not eat, but then in the evening, he suddenly started to eat, we were so happy. But it turned out it was his last meal, we never could get him to eat again. We took our mattress down in the living room, as if Tom would come down from his chair to drink he could not jump back in his chair again. I would wake up every few hours to let him drink. After 3 days we had no other choice but to put him to sleep, as it was so difficult to see him suffer. That last night I could not sleep well, I woke up at around 04.00 and spend a few hours sitting next to him and talking to him before I had to go to my job, and gave him my last hugs as I now I would going to miss him so much. After I came home from my job my wife and I prayed from him, we put both our hands on his head and it seemed like he understand what was going on, he was so weak and tired already. Then we took him to the vet. He went to sleep very quick and peacefully. We both miss him a terribly, but I’m also relieved that he does not suffer anymore. Dear Tom, thank you for coming into our lives and make our lives so happy. You were such a funny cat and such a great companion, who shared our lives in good and bad times. You were always there to comfort me if I came home after a bad day at work, and thank you for being there for my wife, if you only would realize how important it was for her that you were there during a very difficult time in her life. Thank you for everything Tom. We’ll never forget you and you’ll always stay a part of our family.

  101. Marie Aodis says:

    Three days ago my cat Rico died from a vicious attack by a neighbors dog. He was 10 years old. Rico was so special to me, I had the privilege of witnessing his birth. When I was in college my BF and I were given two very young cats. I took them to the vet and was told they were male cats. The vet was wrong. Soon after one became pregnant and months later Rico was born. He was the only male in the litter and had four sisters. When the time came to find them a home, all the girls were adopted except Rico. I couldn’t bear to break his mothers heart and decided to keep Rico. All 3 were a happy family for four years and then my BF and I broke up and I left with Rico and his dad (Zeke) to start a new life. Rico and Zeke got me through the hardest break up and uncertain times after college. Rico was the product of a happy home, he had the security of a mother and father cat, and was breast fed by his mom for so many months. He was so healthy, trusting and confident. I have never loved an animal so much. He had such a personality, was so social and loyal. Rico could recognize the smell of salmon in the oven so quickly that he would start meowing as soon as I opened the oven. Today I made salmon and nearly lost my mind from the thought of never being able to share with him again. He was loved by my entire family and they were constantly the recipients of pictures of his daily activities. I have worked from home for the last 2 years and he was my companion. He and I had a routine and now I feel so lost. I can’t concentrate and I miss him so much. My heart can’t even begin to deal with how his dad Zeke must feel. Zeke and Rico were two peas in a pod and he was there to witness Rico passing away. Rico made it home after the dog attack and even though he had surgery, his body could not bear the extent of his injuries. After his surgery I brought him home and he passed away 18 hours later. I’m comforted by the fact that he was able to pass in his own home. Rico managed to climb up to my bed the day I brought him home and we cuddled all night. He whimpered and cried randomly but when I brushed his head and talked to him he would stop crying. I knew he loved me. The next morning he used the litter box and walked to the front door. I watched him and he began to cough, had a seizure and passed. It was the most traumatizing thing I have ever seen. My poor baby spent the night with me and passed the next morning. It kills me that he died so brutally by a dog and then suffered after surgery. I buried him in the forest and I said a prayer. I hope we meet in the next life. I can’t even imagine how I will get through this.

  102. Kimberly says:

    Yesterday was one of the hardest days in my life. My boyfriend got home first and discovered our cat Midnight was missing. So he called me and told me he couldnt find him in the house, I told him to look outside because we know he would often venture outside to play if someone accidentally left the front gate open. After I hung up I was really worried because I know Midnight ALWAYS came back home. If we called his name he would ALWAYS come running back home.
    My boyfriend texted me back a few minutes later and told me to hurry home because he thinks midnight might be dead. It was a horrible horrible joke actually because my boyfriend found our cat laying in the bushes by our front patio gate but he thought that Midnight was sleeping so he didn’t want to wake him up until I got there, it was a mean joke either way.
    So I come running to the front of the house and he shows me where he is laying and says he was kidding but that midnight is sleeping. I guess because I wouldn’t really expect him to be dead I thought that he was sleeping too. So I call for Midnight to wake up and I bent down and tried to pick him. I started crying uncontrollably because his body was cold and stiff hard. He was hit by a car. We found his reflective collor outside in the street and the little bell was crushed.
    His sudden death has left me grieving so deeply that I cannot put it in words. I feel so guilty of not getting home sooner. For not saying how much I loved him before leaving that day… For not being there for him and the part that really kills me is that after being hit by the car he ran back home to die alone. I was not there for him and I feel like that is something that will haunt me for so long. I wish I would have left and gone home sooner. I wish my mother in law didn’t let him out. And I wish I could hold him in my arms one last time…

  103. natasha says:

    My cat Angel passed saway today from a tumor ad Trevor my other cat died last Oct. from cancer.It hurts so bad I wish I coukd take their place.

  104. Tiffany says:

    My baby, Jade died suddenly overnight two nights ago. We woke up to find her lying there outside our door. I blame myself for not being there when she went and I just hope she didn’t suffer. I can’t stop crying. I wasn’t read to see her go, she wasn’t even 3 yrs old so I am not sure what happened. She wasn’t overweight, she was an indoor car. There is no sign of anything she could have gotten into. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I keep waiting for her to wake up and come back to us.

  105. Pamela says:

    I had my cat when I moved to Canada 8 years ago. He was there for me when I felt lonely. I remember every time I used to cry, he used to lay down besides me. I am planning to move to another city, and I was planning to bring him with me. He was jealous of my friends; he was very protective. Besides all my friends loved him. And one night, a raccoon attacked him, he was very weak. I let him go out to our backyard because he likes to do his needs outside, but he never came back. I was looking for him all around the neighbourhood, day and night I used to go to my backyard and look for his tiny footprints, but nothing. My mom used to prepare his favourite meal in case he came back. Yesterday morning, I was taking my coffee in front my back door, my other cat (a kitten) came to join me. I pet him and I knew inside me that I would never pet my other cat again. After a wonderful day, I got the call I was waiting, someone found him, but my baby was so weak that the person brought him to the veterinary. He was so weak, the doctors said that he wouldn’t make it, so they had to put him down. My family is feeling terrible, but I, her owner, feel devastated. I wanted to do so much with him, he was always there for me. He was so joyful, and now he is gone. My kitten sleeps next the back door waiting for his friend to come home. I don’t know how to deal with this.

  106. Calev says:

    Last night at 8pm I found my baby boy Finn in my front yard. A car had hit him and the realization of his still body was the worst thing I had ever experienced in my entire life. I got Finn when he was 8 weeks old and he fit into my hands! He would sleep on my neck every single night and under the covers. He would kiss you and let you cradle him and he was truly an angel. I know he’s in heaven right now but I don’t want him to be gone and I want to wake up from this nightmare. Please Finny know that I love you and will always love you. You where the best thing to ever happen to me and I’m so glad you got to spend 2 years of your very happy life with me. Sleep baby boy and wait for me to meet you in heaven, as I know you’ll be the first one to welcome me. I love you very much and you will always be on my mind.

  107. Patti says:

    My sweet little Zoe died on January 15. She had been sick with a baffling condition and responded well to the first round of antibiotics, steroids etc. But when she finished the medications, the problems would return. We went through this routine 3 times this winter. I had to bathe her every other day and she was so good and trusting. I miss her wise little face…and I will never forget her sweetness. I pray that somehow through the cosmos, beyond the things that separate us from each other like flesh and bone and time, that she knows what she meant to me and still means to me. I pray I will see her again.

  108. Rich K says:

    my beloved 18yr old tabby passed this evening! Her name was Gerri Girl. she was eating this morning, purring this afternoon….I think she hacked on a fur ball or something and wham, gone within 30 seconds…im so devistated. i wish i could have done something…i had here in my arms when this happened. that hurts the most. Thougt id share seeing others out there feel the same about thier animals!
    i know time heals all wounds, but i think this will take alot longer…you dont have a cat that is part of your life for 18yrs that much!

  109. Josie says:

    Cremation is a really good way to remember a cat. I agree 🙂 I also saw beautiful necklaces for ashes at, maybe this will help with the pain.

    • Joe says:

      When my cat passed away. I had her placed in a pet cemetery in Palm Harbor, FL. It a regular cemetery. There are people at rest there. But, they have a section set aside for pets.

  110. Marlee says:

    My cat just died and he sufferd because of kitty Cancer im crying ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????TIMBER!

  111. Pearl H says:

    Our darling cat Apolenka has only passed away last night. Suddenly. She was only 4,5 years old and we are so sad and our hearts are torn apart. She was never ill, so it was sudden and I cannot bare it. We came home and she was lying on the floor. Our second cat, Charliecek still search for her at home and it makes me feel even worse. He doesn’t come to me close, he only sits on places where Apolenka used to sit. It has only happened yesterday and so we have a lot of time to wait. But I cannot stop crying and I am so overwhelmed and desperate and devastated. This is the worst part of life…. We love you Apolenko so so much, you were our sweetheart and Charliecek misses you so much too. I think I will never be able to overcome this….

    • Joe says:

      I sorry to hear of the passing of your cat. My cat Thomas was only 6 years old when he passed away. Then 3 weeks later I had to put my cat munchkin to rest. Blood test show he had cancer. Back on November
      21, 2015 my cat CJ passed away. She was 16 years old. I knew that that the day was coming that she would go to be with God. I had all 3 cats layed to rest at a pet cemetery in Palm Harbor, Florida. I go see them about every 90 days.

  112. Kaci says:

    My cat Darcy died yesterday at 18:25 and I miss him so much, sometimes I cant help but think its my fault, all my fault. He had multiple tumours in his kidney and I didn’t know what to do you see I’m only 13 and my mum said she thought Darcy may die at one point during the night, so i stayed up with him all night, i picked him up to give him water, everything, The day after i spent all morning with him, i held him on a pillow he’d been sleeping on in my room, i took him to the small room where the nurse was and the injected him with this brownish liquid, he just lay there. I put my hand on his stomach waiting to feel his last breath, planting lots of kisses all over his face. When he died I took my pillow and left the room, Sometimes i get really angry at myself and say it should be me dead and not him, that i shouldn’t have let him go. I miss him so much, he helped me sleep, he helped me when i was watching horror movies. When i broke my wrists he lay there with me everyday. Now he’s gone. I’m never going to see him again, I have my whole live ahead of me without him and i don’t think i can do it

    • Perry Kellogg says:

      I am so sorry for your loss, Kaci. Please do not blame yourself, because sometimes these things just happen. Just know that Darcy loved you, and she was obviously very much loved. It has been two weeks since I lost my best friend, Emmitt. Just always remember and think fondly of Darcy, and she will always be with you ! Take good care young lady. . .

  113. Claire says:

    This article made me feel tremendously better. I lost my sweet Bey (short for Beyonce) two weeks ago to leukemia/lymphoma. It was a shocking and heartbreaking diagnosis as this little kitty was my world. She found me as a street kitten at what seemed to be a little over a month old. She would sleep on my neck every night, and I truly felt as though she was my baby. She had good health from June of 2013 until January 2016, when I noticed her breathing patterns had shifted. I took her to the emergency vet, and they discovered a tumor near her heart that was releasing fluid. The fluid was filling the space around her lungs, resticting her breathing. Chemo was an option, but it would have only bought her a few more months and I couldn’t stand the thought of stressing her with medicine on a daily basis. We tried a prednisone treatment to at least make her feel as good as possible, but within a week that had become too much for her. The fluid was increasing again within a week, so I took her to have one final thoracacenticis to assure her breathing remained manageable and sent her to Rainbow Bridge with the help of an in-home euthanasia service. I am certain she was ready to go in her final days, but it still doesn’t erase the doubt and guilt that I am experiencing. She had a nice life, but it certainly was short. However, she was truly a one in a million cat. She was social, always in the conversation when I had company over, and always ready for a treat! I can’t even count how many friends who told me that she was the best cat they had ever met.

    Thank you for this article, it gives me comfort to know that I’m not alone in my grieving. She was a once in a lifetime companion, and her sweet and sassy nature will always be missed.

    • Perry Kellogg says:

      I know how you feel, Claire. It has been less than two weeks since we lost Emmitt. He was with us for 17 1/2 years and I miss him every day. It does give me solace that I did what was best for him, as it should you. No, you are not alone in your grief, and I wish you the best!

  114. Joe says:

    On September 13, 2014 I revived a call my brother had passed away in Texas. On the 14th I left my cat Thomas at my vet. Thomas was sick at that time. I left him with the vet to recive his Meds. On the day of my brother funeral, I get a call from my vet. Thomas had passed away during the night. 3 weeks later my cat munchkin became sick. I took him to my vet. Blood test show munchkin had cancer. I had no choice but to put munchkin to rest. On November 21, 2016. My cat CJ passed away at age 16. All 3 cats now rest in peace side by side at pet cemetery in Palm Harbor, FL

  115. Jennifer says:

    I lost my precious baby Lita today. She was 7. Having gotten her at 8 weeks old I feel so blessed that I got to see her through her kitten years and part of adulthood. She developed a huge mass in her intestines and stomach area and our vet informed us the mass would more than likely be too big to do anything with. She was fine on Friday but got sick Saturday morning and did not eat or move after that. We took her in this morning and got the news. I am more heartbroken than I ever thought I would feel at losing her. I love how independent she was but when she really wanted love was at bedtime. That is when I will miss her most. She would come into the bedroom, meow at me, and jump on my chest to lay down for awhile. I’ve never loved another so dearly. Thank you all for sharing your stories.

  116. Perry Kellogg says:

    I have been reading posts all evening now, and I identify with every one of them. I, too had been trying to feed Emmitt but, for the last month or so, it had diminished quite a bit. Emmitt always came and visited me at bedtime for about 10 minutes of love and scratching……That is what I think I will miss most. there are too many other things to mention, but he loved us like we loved him. And like all of you loved your wonderful furry friends……Thank you all for sharing…..It is nice to know I am not alone.

  117. Perry Kellogg says:

    My son and I just lost our beloved cat, Emmitt, about 10 hours ago. He had been having thyroid issues and his kidneys were failing. I have been preparing myself for the last month, but it is still devastating. Emmitt was with us for almost eighteen years, and he was one of the most loving, ornery, special beings I have known. We will miss that ole cat forever, and I will think of him lovingly and often. He died with my son and I at his side, petting and talking to him. I know it was for the best for him, and that is what is important. Just grieving……..

  118. Linda Waslin says:

    I decided to make something good come out of a horrible nightmare that I saw in my backyard early one evening. One of my dear cats, Flower Girl, was caught by two collared dogs who were trying to pull her apart.I ran out to my back lawn and screamed, clapping my hands. They let her go, and when I went to pick her up,she ran quickly away. I screamed till the two dogs left my backyard woods. I heard nothing and didn’t see her anywhere. The next moring when I went to my patio to feed my outside, spay/neutered, cat family, she was missing. I found her laying in one of the straw filled shelters and when I lifted the cover, she started crying. She walked slowly, crying still, so I picked her up to take her to my vet. Then I saw my dear girl’s belly was ripped open. The vet found there was no organ damage, so he wanted to save her. The operation was done and care continued, but her blood loss, hypothermia, immense bruising and shock was too much. She died the next day. I cried from the moment I found her and still everyday. To make something helpful come out of her suffering, I contacted my town association where there is a newsletter that two thousand residents receive Since there were neighbors that knew for nearly a year that these two dogs were allowed unleashed off their property, no one did anything but complain to each other since I don’t think they knew who to contact. I submitted an ad from my animal association where I volunteer telling all to call Animal Control when they see dogs are allowed to wander unsupervised as it is against the law in New York. I honor my Flower Girl by this ad to prevent another cat from being tortured. Yes, I still cry and see the awful event in my mind, but this does help me dealing with the horror

  119. Ashly says:

    My first foster baby who we called HUGO passed away two days ago at 7 months old. I feel so sorry,guilty,depressed, and empty. He has a 55 page medical history he never pooped him the litterbox but I gave him his own room in my skyrise apartment. He loved looking out the windows, running around, he can play fetch! He loved to cuddle. We took baths together.
    He still would get constipated and hurt from two strictures (narrowing of the colon) but because he was still in foster he had a team working for him. We tried everything. He was on one medicine everyday with another as needed with vet food. I had to go to Colombia for Christmas so I flew him from Chicago to Boston and drove up to Maine to spend the holidays with my family.

    My best friend and his boyfriend agreed to watch him till I got back from Colombia the 16th of January. We packed him his food, meds, rabies vaccination, toys, everything we felt he needed. We FaceTimed on Christmas and I checked up weekly. It wasn’t until the night before my flight to get him my friend had called me very concerned he wasn’t eating or drinking and couldn’t move himself. It really scared me to hear he wasn’t making any noises as he would cry if he was constipated.

    They took him into the ER a vet opened 24hours that called me immediately telling me he was cold and dehydrated and that they would call me right back with an estimate and treatment plan. I paid for warmth,IV fluids, and a catheter, and constant monitoring. He made it thru the night being told he has renal kidney failure.

    The next morning after I landed in Boston I called paws whom I foster him from. I was responsible of course for all bills till this point and I agreed I just want him to live! I don’t understand how he got sick so suddenly or what’s going on. I’m just a wreck and crying getting horrible news and some hope like he got up to poop. Though another few hours later I got the worst hardest call of my life.
    Hugos numbers are off the charts. They did a biopsy, X-rays, and more blood work. He’s still on IV fluids, catheter, pain meds. This kidneys are huge and his liver isn’t in the right place. They said he is suffering and I don’t want him to suffer. So I agreed to letting him go to sleep. My heart hurts.. I’m in so much pain. When I went to say goodbye he purred and stood up and I just wanted to bring him home so badly but I couldn’t. He’s coming home by private cremation with a lock of fur and a paw print but I would have never ever left him. I never imagined he wouldn’t be coming home on the plane with me. He was my little love.
    I feel the ER he was at was just trying to capitalize off my pain and suffering they had no compassion. Paws from Chicago on the other hand loved him and are such a great organization I know they fought for him too.
    I just wish I know how this happened he was fine they are telling me he was born this way but I think they are saying that to comfort me.

  120. Tarah says:

    Hello everyone. I recently had to put down by beautiful Sphinx kitten. This is the hairless breed of cats. His name was Mr. bigelsworth with many nicknames like BW, brother, buba, and stinky butt. He brought so much joy and love to our home in the short 10 months we had him. He was so loving to everyone and warmed up to anyone who petted him. He loved treats and heating vents. He would sleep with me every night under the blankets between my legs. He was a family member and every night he would find his place at the table ready to eat dinner with us. His favorite foods were chicken, spaghetti , and the special treat of a mini slim Jim.
    It all started with an eye infection that was treated with antibiotics and slowly resolved. Then 2 weeks later he became very weak, appeared he was losing weight and was getting another eye infection. We went back to the vet and they ran blood work, and a sono. After ruling everything out the diagnosis was the dry form of FIP. This is rare and is a awful awful virus with no cure. After being diagnosed brother declined so rapidly that we couldn’t watch him suffer anymore and put him down 5 days later. He died in my arms and I have been a mess since. I just feel like a part of my heart is gone. We loved that kitty like a child and miss him everyday. The vet said he acquired this from his mother as a kitten because the mothers are carriers of FIP and then the virus mutates in the kitten in the first year of life causing death. Another kitten in the same liter has also died of lymphoma. I am very angry with the breeder because I feel like she knew all this before selling us brother. It was our first time buying from a breeder so we were inexperienced and she didn’t offer a Heath guarantee and that should of been a red flag. We have attempted to contact her with no reply so I am taking the next steps to ensure no one else goes through the hell we are going through now.
    We have found a reputable breeder and our new addition, a sphinx kitty, should be born any day and we will have him or her in April. Thank you for allowing me to share my story. I feel everyone’s pain and wish you all healing.

    • sherry says:

      appreciate my beautiful aby had more then he deserved this breeder should have
      Been decent because ha had tumors in both ears no uncommon in this breed but I should have been told 11 years shock all of the sudden stopped eating he would eat the kitchen sink I knew something was very wrong it was his liver he slept with me every nite paws around my arms till the end. wha makes this even worse I have a Bengal cat who lived and is looking all over for him my heart is broken writing thru tears thank
      you for being there helps. good luck to you
      sherry aka tajicat.

  121. sherry says:

    Hi , I am writing this thru my tears it is only 6 hrs my beautiful aby was put down …i have a bengal as well
    the aby really did not luv the bengal but all was ok however the bengal luved him and would not even eat till
    the other came in I am beside my self and feel very empty. even with the bengal he is just moping around and
    and sort of yelling.. dont know why i am writing this ..i guess hoping it will make me feel better…but not
    the aby slept with me holding my arm every nite it broke my hear to put him down but his liver failed and i could not put him thru hell …did not deserve the pain… so thanks for hearing me..i am beside myself just cant stop crying..

  122. Charlotte says:

    I lost my beautiful furry baby just yesterday & my heart actually hurts. I wish I could rewind time and give her one last cuddle and kiss her lovely little face.

    She started becoming ill just last Friday & I instantly knew something serious was wrong, I could see it in her eyes.

    I took my beautiful Maisy to the vets the following day. I was sat waiting to be seen with her wrapped up in her favourite fluffy blanket praying it was nothing serious.

    The vet suggested she had fluids under her skin as she was dehydrated & maybe it was a bit of back pain. BRILLIANT I thought nothing to serious. So I took her home and bought her some extra yummy food & cat milk.

    Woke up the next morning and she seemed to have gone down hill again and was refusing to eat. I thought maybe try with more yummy food. Nothing all day. By this time I was distraught and knew it was something more. I noticed her back legs had started to sway behind her.

    Back to the vets on the Monday. The vet now suggested maybe it was something with her spine or a tumour in her head but she would be able to live with either condition as long as she had daily steroids & gave her pain relief also something to stimulate her appetite as she was not eating. So we pressed on with the steroids. Hoping and praying she was going to pick up again. She ate that night. Half a Sheba pouch and some more milk. Later on the other half of the Sheba and more milk. I was over the moon she had eaten.

    Woke up the next morning. She had gone down again. Back to the vets and she was given more appitate stimulants and was told give it a few more days on the steroids.

    All week she hasn’t eaten anything and I’ve been syringe feeding her cat milk and critical care food but she did not want it but I kept going as she was loosing weight and I wanted to keep her fluids up. I tried her over and over with all sorts of yummy foods. Nothing.

    Then Thursday comes round and the vet asked me to ring him and let him know how she was getting on. I told him she is walking about every now and then. Drinking from her water fountain and was using her litter tray but will not eat and I was worried as she hasn’t eaten for so long. So he suggests I take her back and let him check her over and to pick some high calorie liquid up for her. So off we went.

    We got to the end of our road and I felt something warm on my leg. Looked down and she had wet herself except this didn’t look like urine. With that I noticed her eyes had gone a funny green/yellow colour. I had just noticed this. Took her in to the vet. Shown him what had happened in the car and he agreed her eyes looked yellow.

    “I think it’s time to call it a day, I can try other things things but considering her age (now nearly 17) and her condition I don’t think she would make it”. My heart hit the floor and I could not control my crying. I was cuddling her and talking to her. Kissing her beautiful little face and telling her how much I love. The vet gave me a few minutes to say my goodbyes and then I was going to leave her with the vet. As much as I want to I can’t watch her take her last breaths. The vet is so caring and so kind natured, I couldn’t ask for more. He had taken such good care of my presides little girl.

    Today I keep breaking down crying and my heart actually hurts. My other two cats are acting very strange and I really don’t like it. She is my baby, every night she got in to bed with me, put her paw on my face and cuddled in until the morning when I heard my three babies meowing to be fed. When I kissed her head she would purr so o loud. She also use to sleep on my back when I was asleep in bed.

    I am waiting to receive her ashes back now where I will treasure them for ever more.

    This pain is so so bad. I miss her so so much. I love her so so much.

    I love you more than anything my beautiful baby. Always have and always will. Xx

    • Roger Gonzalez says:

      Sorry for your loss Charlotte I’m grieving with you your not alone Ive been breaking down every morning since I told my baby boy fritz goodbye I loved him with every bit of me…its lonely but every day I get little stronger and the awful memory’s are just being replaced with the great ones we shared when he would take looong naps right after eating and when Id wake him hed give a long yawn with the most foul fishy cat breath aah ew fritz you nasty cat I’d say he’d cover he’s face just go back to sleep..she knew you loved her like my boy knew I loved him that’s all I could ask for I hope feel better. thankyou for sharing

  123. Roger Gonzalez says:

    I lost my baby boy two days ago..he was a year old striped short hair Im just have a hard time coping. He was abducted from home when he was found by animal care services couple miles away and a local high school campus.. They didn’t kno what was wrong with him…I rushed him to the ER ..where he was in critical condition .he had internal damage done ..I had to put him killed me ..I don’t kno if he was abused nor can I prove who took him. he didn’t deserve what happened to him his only flaw was that he was a good sweet cat that only loved people.. Im at a loss rn.broken beyond belief. I have so many things going through my head theses past two days and I want justice and probably wont get it with the system over here…street justice…but I kno its wrong. I miss my boy…I’ve been looking up ridiculous things like is there a cat heaven and will I see my cat again..I feel lost he was my little partner I miss him ..thanks hearing me

  124. Laurie says:

    I am truly sorry for your loss. Your beloved cat will be missed deeply and will never be forgotten. May you find peace and healing, forgiveness and serenity as you grieve…and may your heart heal enough to open up to love another animal who needs you.

  125. Robert says:

    I had my orange cat Piggy for about 16 years and he really was my best friend. He came to us from a house on top of our street because the people there abused him, so we fed him everyday and soon he’d stay in our house the entire day and we kept him. I chose to go to a local college and commute because I just couldn’t imagine leaving him for even a few hours. He was always by my side when I studied and he always slept by my side on my bed and on top of my backpack. He was a part of the family, but last week he started having problems breathing. We didn’t want to put him down, but he was suffering too much from his heart failing so we did yesterday.

    I feel so depressed and heartbroken right now. I haven’t slept and have been crying the entire night.

  126. Cato says:

    I live in The Netherlands and at midnight 31th dec everybody lights fireworks in the street. This makes pets very nervous and scared naturally. My cat was only 2 years old and previous years I was home on new years eve. Both times he was scared and crawled under the bed but when the fireworks stopped he was ok. This year I decided to go to a party in another town and spend the night there. I was worried to leave my cat alone but because he always turned out to be ok the previous years i left anyway. The next day i came home and found him hidden under the couch cold and stiff. He always hid there when he got scared from street noises or the vacuumcleaner and it tears me apart knowing that he was alone and scared when he died. When he was just a kitten i found out he had a heart condition. The fireworks must have literaly scared him to death and his tiny heart couldnt take it. He was so small and innocent and i feel very guilty for leaving him alone. Its been two days now since he died and i cant stop crying. I am staying at my sisters because i cant stand being in my house alone without my cat. Everything reminds me of him.

  127. Bethany says:

    My kitty jumped in the dryer. I didn’t see her. I opened the dryer and screamed bloody murder. I’m surprised none of the neighbors heard. Her lifeless body was just lying there and it’s my fault. You should have seen her face and her ears with skin ripped off. I cried for hours and layed in my room in the dark. I still haven’t eaten today. I’m so broken. I keep hearing her sweet little meow in my head. I keep thinking I should be killed in the same manner. My heart hurts so much. Please remember to check your dryer before starting it. You’ll thank yourself when you find your little angel in there when you didn’t notice them jump in. RIP Marley Mae.

  128. Joanne says:

    I have a cat I raised from a baby, it’s eyes were even open, she grew into a beautiful cat, so I would let her out side, to play, not knowing the people next door hated cats, the reason I didn’t know this they had not been there long, I hadn’t had time to get to know them , but anyway they put rat poison out and she eat it and now she is in my room dieing, I can’t prove they did it but they were the first not people that didn’t like cats. I am now setting here crying my eyes out, just wishing for a maricle. I have two other cats but she mines everything to me.

  129. Deb says:

    Lost a kitten the other day and I just need a place to vent. Last September I found a mama cat and her 3 just born kittens under my house. I had no pets and decided to keep them. First few months were fine but two developed diarrhea about a week ago. The vet said it wasn’t serious and sent me home with some medicine. One recovered but the second went down hill so fast he died while I waiting for my brother to give us a ride to the clinic.
    I know he wasn’t my little buddy for a long time but this has effected me horribly. He was stuck to me constantly…he even ignored his mom and chose to sit with me instead. He loved to sleep on my shoulder and would even climb up me to get there if I was standing. At night he would leave his siblings to find me…I woke everyday to him purring on my neck. The day he died I saw him stumble under my computer desk. After calling my brother I sat down to get him out but he noticed me and ran into my lap and buried his face between my arm and body. One of his brothers ran up and laid with him. He died ten minutes later and I had to lock his brother in my bedroom because would not leave his sibling.
    Im no stranger to death be it animals or friends and family but this feels different. Never have I felt so much guilt and shame in my life.

  130. rachel says:

    4 days ago i had to say goodbye to my sweet kitty of 15 years. she was the first pet i took care of as a “grown up.” when i came home from work she was clearly in distress, breathing was labored, she wouldn’t get up from behind the door (red flag) so i took her to the emergency pet hospital (after hours my vet was closed). they put her in the oxygen cage, but that didn’t help. they were very concerned about her breathing and felt it might be her heart or her lungs. they wanted to do all kinds of tests and xrays and i couldn’t bring myself to put her through that. i made the hard decision to not let her suffer. after all, at 15 that old broad had lived a nice long life. we took care of eachother for a long time. i couldn’t be in the room in the end, but my mom was with her so she wasn’t alone. i’ve been crying ever since. and i swear i hear her little meow at night. i love you sweet mommy kitty, i miss you every minute.

  131. Tina Barrett says:

    It doesn’t matter who it is you lose it is heart wrenching. I knew this day would come but it has broken my heart, I can’t stop crying. Last night we had to put our beloved Katie to sleep. She was nearly 14. We adopted her from the SPCA 12 years and 8 months ago she was the most beautiful ginger cat, loyal, loving and was always around us. 2 1/2 years ago she was diagnosed with IBD and luckily with meds and special diet she was able to live a good and happy life with a few ups and downs. Then early September she started to lose her appetite, we thought that she was having an acute attack of her IBD but after having bloods done we found out she has Chronic Renal Failure and it is stage 5 the worst. She spent a couple of days on IV fluids and we managed to get her levels down but they were still high. I have spent many many hours and sleepless nights on the internet trying to find out everything about CRF. Tanya’s Comprehensive Guide to Feline Chronic Kidney Disease is an excellent source of information and there are others to. Katie had excellent vets but because we live in N.Z. we do not have access to a lot of the meds and food you have available in the USA & UK, I tried so hard to get products but was not able to import them in to NZ. Our vet got meds she needed and I did Sub Fluids at home for a few weeks. She hated the K/D tin diet so I had to give her cooked chicken and K/D biscuits. Her weight started to slip again and giving the meds became harder. She was going to the vet every 2 to 3 weeks for repeat bloods and vitamin injections which she hated. The last month she started to explore around outside which was out of character as she was always around home. Monday this week she started to become very unwell, by Tuesday she was not going to the toilet much and vomiting the vet thought she had colitis. More injections and pills (poor Katie). After 2 visits to the vets yesterday and repeat bloods done we found that her creatinine and other levels were off the chart. Even though she put up a fight to go to the vet yesterday and her eyes were still bright we knew it was time for her to be free of any pain and be at peace. I blame myself did I take her treatment to far I just wanted her to have the very best quality of life we could give her for as long as we could. She had 12 weeks with us since being diagnosed with kidney disease. Its been a roller coaster but worth every minute to have those last few weeks with her. We will miss her so much but her memories will live forever. God bless all of you who are going through this and have done so. Its comforting to know that others share these same feelings.

  132. Dixon says:

    I put my buddy down today. I know he is suffering, he won’t eat, drink and can’t barely move. I feel him. So i decided to put him down today. He was a very smart outdoor cat, he always stay within the house compound and seldom go further. Sometimes he sleep with the dog or climb to our second floor sleeping. Somehow, cat fight still unavoidable. He always greet me when i’m home, always around me when i’m alone. When he is sick, he usually refuse to go out and stay just outside my room. That is when i notice something wrong with him from few weeks ago, he start eating less, his eyes is changing color and he is always sleeping. So i took him to the vet 2 weeks ago, they run a bloodtest on him, xray and give him IV fluid as he is dehydrated. Then few days later the vet call me and said from the Xray, they can barely see one of his lung, because a lot fluids on his lung. So they do the collection of fluid from his lung. The vet suspect he might have heart disease and cannot live long. I bring him home and he is weak after that. He can walk but shaky. Don’t eat and drink, but sip some milk. He try to climb the wall that he used to, but fall down. I know he is upset because he sat there and look at the wall for a very long time. I don’t want to give up on him, so i took him to another vet the next day. The vet diagnosed him had FIV and FIP, and decided to gave him IV fluid again and hospitalize for observation. Few days later, i got a call from the vet and said he is much stronger now and start grooming and eating. I was so happy and visit him the next day, but then the vet told me his situation went downhill, i bring him out from the cage, he can hardly move and just lie on the corner. The vet said his situation is very bad, and he will pass away soon, just a matter of time. They gave him one last time IV fluids then i bring him home. The first night, me and my girlfriend try to give him the medicine, but he refuse to take any. He peed while we carried him, because he can’t move, his behind legs are paralyze. I try to groom him myself and wipe his urine from his body then bring him to the bed that he used to sleep. I was so heartbroken and depressed, and decided to put him to sleep, it’s a very difficult decision, but seeing him struggle, i want to put him at ease. I called the vet for housecall, but the vet is busy and only can come over the next day. I try to come home early from work to be with him on his final night. I took him to the backyard swing that he used to sit, and pet him while he lying on my thigh. It’s just for a while, because i feel he is in pain, then i put him to the bed after grooming him again and gave him some water with syringe. That night all the family members pet him, and say goodbye to him. Then this morning the Vet came, i want to stay with him till his last breath, i hold his hand and pet him. He is gone in few minutes, sleeping peacefully. Jackly i will miss you forever and you will always in my heart, thanks for be with me the last 10 years! You’re my best buddy.

    • sadness says:

      What incredible story but so sad you were devoted to each other that is so wonderful you did the right thing your beloved cat will be with you for ever

  133. Kristen says:

    Thank you to everyone for sharing their stories. They help to read. We had to say good-bye to our sweet Samwise last night. He had been with us for almost a year. We came home to find him very ill and shaking and rushed him to the animal hospital. They told us he was in kidney failure and his conditioned only worsened overnight. We spent a good hour with him, hugging him and petting him and telling him how much we loved him and what a good boy he was. Then we let him go. My heart is so broken. I will miss his joyful greeting when I came home. I will miss his snuggles and his playful spirit. He was the sweetest cat I have ever known and the world feels a lot emptier and lonelier without him. I don’t know where kitties go when they leave this earth, but I know God sees every sparrow, and I hope Sam is playing and happy.

  134. Jen says:

    I had to put my boy, Spider, down yesterday. It came so swift. He was hurting. I could tell. He stopped eating and drinking. I tried everything I could think of during the past week. I took him to the vet in desperation but deep down I knew he was telling me he needed to go. It still hurts. I still see him out of the corner of my eye. I still wait for him to come around the corner and greet me with his meow. He was around me all day, hardly left my side for long. He could be a pain trying to get my attention when it was needed else where. Is it normal to smile while crying uncontrollably? That’s how I feel right now. I was there for his last breath and it is constantly playing in the back of my eye lids when I close my eyes. People tell me in time I will not be so sad when I think of him and the tears will turn in to joy when thinking of him. I have a twinge of regret for making the decision that I made but the tests came back negatively and there was nothing we could do for his quality of life. His pain has ended but mine endures. I love you Spoder and will never forget the bound we had. Like no other. Xoxoxo

    Thank you for all your stores. It helps in some weird way to know that while I feel like I’m alone on an island there are others that feel just the same.

  135. Pati says:

    Nov 28th 2015
    Last night I lost a very beautiful,feisty and loving kitty. She was small ,brown/gray tabby with circular markings on the side ,vertical stripes on her back and an owl face on the back of her head.
    We found her 7 1/2 years ago near the home we’d purchased out in the country. She was so pretty and funny.She’d roll over when she saw you-usually falling down 2 stairs, had a meow like a lamb and walked like Mae West. We have 2 other wonderful tabbys as well .She loved our big gray tabby.They became an “item” almost immediately ,sleeping backside to backside in a circle…or spooning together. She was very independent and HATED being confined indoors. Made her and Us NUTS!! Last night I heard moaning and crying out in the driveway about 6 PM. I found her and sadly she’d been attacked by a dog or raccoon. I picked her up and she died in my arms from internal bleeding. I am devastated.I really thought she’d be with us for a long time as our pets seem to have longevity. This morning my husband and I buried her in a beautiful cloth,with her favorite food,string and a sock.She loved to sit on your feet. It’s hard to explain the grief I feel for this beautiful creature. Animals make life better….They give love and beauty and humor too.
    I will miss her for a very log time.

  136. Molly says:

    I said goodbye to my sweet Sydney on Wednesday. Her illness came on swiftly. We only found out something was wrong 5 weeks ago. Part of me is grateful for that; for not having to make the decision about whether or not to administer expensive and painful treatment that might not have even helped her. I got almost 10 years with my girl, and I will always be thankful for that. Thank you for sharing these tips. And thank you to those who have commented. I felt very alone in my grief, but reading your stories has made me realize I’m not the only one who loved my cat dearly and considered her a member of my family. Hoping all of you have found, or will find, peace.

  137. Rene Segura says:

    I will always love you, my sweet Pepper. I’m in so much pain from losing you. I’m in my office crying. I cry on my drive home know you won’t be there to great me when I open the door. I know you are with God and the Angels above. Before I left you, I said a prayer to my Mom who had passed away 5 years earlier to come get you. She will be so happy to see you and I know she will take wonderful care of you in Heaven. I can’t wait to see you again my sweetest Pepper. Folks. Don’t ever be embarrassed to cry and grieve losing your precious pet. I’m a 47 year old, hockey playing man. Losing Pepper has completely crushed me. I miss my boy.

  138. Kristin Moncada says:

    My cat Frankie left me last night. I feel so alone, and my heart is in so much pain. Frankie was my adopted orange cat. He was there for me during the times that I am so tired at work, during the times that i needed someone to talk to. He was a playful happy cat. I don’t know how can I move on. My heart is in so much grief. I lost a companion, a friend, a loved one. I can’t accept the fact that he won’t be there anymore when I go home. That he will no longer be there to ask food, to purr, to sleep beside me and my sister. We lost a loved one. And i miss Frankie already. I want to remember him as a happy cat and not remember his suffering when he had been a victim of animal cruelty. I feel so empty right now and I just want to hug my precious cat. I am wondering why there are cruel people in this world. I can’t accept the way he died. I want to remember him as a happy cat and remember him in his best days. I love you, Frankie and your human mommy will miss you a lot. Run free in the rainbow bridge. Run free together with your brother Bogart. I love you my sweet precious baby. I know the angels of the Lord is holding you and guiding you, I know that Bogart and you are both happy now. That you are at peace and you are now playing freely. I love you Frankie and Bogart. I will miss you. Mommy Tin loves you.

  139. Laurie says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss, and I’m glad you shared your experience. One of the healthiest things you can do when your cat dies is share what happened, because it helps you process your grief and find resolution. And, your experience helps other people cope with the grief of their own cat’s death.

    Thank you for being honest, and for sharing your story. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and trust that the grieving process will go quickly and not be too painful.


  140. Rene Segura says:

    I lost my little guy Pepper on Friday, November 20th. He died of an a urinary track infection that went un-detected. About a month ago, I heard him meow in discomfort while in the litter box. He seemed a bit bloated to. I thought he was constipated. So, I took him to the vet and they ran some tests on him. All but a urine test because he happened to urinate while in his care. They expressed one of his anal glands cause it was swollen. That happens when a cat eats mainly dry food. That’s all Pepper would eat. So I was hoping he would be fine. That night, I noticed him lying on the floor watching me cook and I saw him drop droplets of a clear reddish liquid from near his penile area. He didn’t seem to be in any pain. And so I thought about how much he would hate to get back into his carrier and go back to the vet again. I said let me see how he is in the morning. Come morning, he was fine. No more leakage, no more meowing in distress while in the litter box. I thought all was good. He was a very playful cat and it was good to see him back to his usual mischievous self. That was until last week. I was alerted by that distressed meow again from the litter box. I made it a point to take Pepper to the vet the very next morning, but I told the vet assistant that I believed his anal glands was packed again and needed to be expressed like before. So that’s what was done and I brought him back home. A few hours later, I later, I heard two loud painful meows and I ran to him and he was gone. I ran him back to the vet where the actual doctor immediately felt that his bladder was swollen and she said she knew what happened. She extracted a reddish clear fluid from his bladder and said he died of a urinary tract infection. That was the same liquid I saw him leaking a month earlier. I feel it’s my fault. I should have taken him back immediately after I first saw it. I just thought it was leakage from the exam they gave him. I was wrong. And I will hurt for this for the rest of my life. Pepper was only 4 years old, but we shared so many fun memories. He was my little buddy.

  141. s says:

    I lost my cat on October 26th 2014. It was the most painful day of my life.

    I came downstairs and noticed that my cat was purring abnormally which resulted in me taking her to the vet during an emergency visit on a weekend. When the vet diagnosed her heart condition and that she had tumours growing, I was strongly advised to put her to sleep. As hard as it was, I made the decision to go ahead as it would relieve her from the pain. I was not there to see her be put to sleep as I knew I would be able to contain the pain. Following this, I went to collect her body.

    Burying my cat was the most painful experience of my life. I held her lifeless body in my arms and kissed her on the head, telling her how much I loved her and how much happiness she brought to my life. Following her burial, I was in a state of shock and sadness. One minute she was alive, and the next she had been buried.

    As a 27 year old man, I still look back on the last 12 years my life with my pet, and to this day, I still cry and remain in sadness. This cat I adopted was a beautiful stray cat who I found in 2002 when I was 14 years old, and at the right time, as she became pregnant and delivered 4 beautiful daughters, who went on to find good homes. The amount of happiness and joy she brought to my life even in the darkest periods of my life, are the greatest memories of my life. When she left my life, the light in my home was gone too.

    I will never forget her and will always remember my beautiful cat. Losing her was the equivalent of losing a child or a parent. Most people will never understand this emotion and will suggest you buy another cat or animal. For some like myself, life does not work like that. The beautiful and deep connection between my cat and myself, was the same as the bond that I have with my parents. Even as time passes, the pain will always be with me.

    But despite this, I have no regrets about the life I had with her. I have always cherished and loved her, and she also reciprocated her love back to me. So wherever she is, I hope she is now happy. I love her and I miss her.

    Always remember the great memories of your animals.

    • Spencer says:

      I am the same as you my friend. I can not actually make a post about my Barns yet, it hurts to much. Posting will be admitting I will never see him again, a part me me died on Tuesday. A part of my soul died that will never be replaced. I lost my best friend, my son, my brother. I have been crying for 10 days since he started getting ill. Did the sadness pass?

  142. Angela says:

    I had to put my Little Miss to sleep on Saturday. She literally went from a healthy cat to skin and bones in less than a week. It was the hardest thing I have ever done and I am unconsolable right now. I have been crying for days and am so depressed. I depended on her so much more than I knew. See he slept by me for 13 years she was the last thing I saw before going to sleep and the first thing I saw when I woke up. She waited for me to come home from work and sat in the window until I drove up. I miss her so much and it hurts so bad. I hated having to put her to sleep but I refused to let her be alone and held her the whole time. I just feel like I was just robbed of the one thing I needed. Im so lost without her 🙁

  143. Russell says:

    I lost my Dear Roxy 4 days ago.we had a special relatonship everytime i was ill she would lay on that ara that was hurting as if to take the pain from.i dont realy no how to explain it but she was so so special to me.the starnge thing is her companion titty has started to lay on my lap at nights just as my dear roxy did ..its just so strange..i will never ever forget my special little girl roxy.

  144. Ally says:

    I am so very glad to have found this site and to read your stories – thank you for sharing. My beloved Chloe left us last night. She was sixteen and lived a wonderful life since the day we adopted her in 2002. She deteriorated rapidly over the last three days and as a family, we knew it was time to let her pass. She was my rock and my world. After a bad day or a holiday, I would count down the minutes until I could get home to her, then we could retreat into our little world. She has seen me though illness, loss and countless other life events. I could not have asked for a more faithful or loving friend. Every day, I thanked her for her devotion and I knew that I owed her a painless and dignified passing. Although I have other pets that I love deeply and have lost before, this death has hit me harder than most. I will love and miss her every day. May she fly high to Rainbow Bridge until we meet again. Thank you for being my love.

  145. Sally says:

    I came here because I’m still deeply grieving the loss of my two dearest, most loving companions Emmie and Pan who were in my life for 13 years. They passed last year October, within 3 weeks of each other, both of cancer. I feel consoled (and perhaps less crazy) to know that so many others feel this same deep grief. I loved them dearly, and I know they loved me too. I have two cats remaining. I love them, but not at all in the same ‘soul friend’ way. I can’t explain it. But if you’re reading these posts, I’ll bet you understand it.

    Hugs to you all

  146. yoo-lan says:

    Lucy—-you never know –she might be looking for you —she might still come back. I had a cat that was gone for 5 weeks!!!!!!!!!!! I thought for sure she was gone ,,,imagined the worse for her. She showed up one morning ,,thin and burs all over her but home safe –she lived to be 18 ….

    • Lucy says:

      wow! 5 weeks! I just cannot imagine where she would be!!! I have kept her bed outside and call for her, have contacted all the neighbors….. i just feel lost….. she has stayed out all night before but she would get so scared……. i just can’t help but think the worst. Thank you for the thoughts though!

    • K says:

      Try checking local shelters, sometimes people will see a cat and bring it in immediately.

  147. Yaqina R says:

    Thank you everyone for sharing your stories; they are helping me to cope as I no longer feel weird for grieving and crying at unusual times. I simply cannot help it.

    After receiving care at an Internal Medicine hospital a few weeks ago, my darling tuxedo cat, Crazy Kitty (CK) had an oncology consultation this morning. provided a definitive diagnosis and prognosis. My cat had GI Lymphoma and it spread throughout her body. Her cancer was terminal and thus, I simply could not subjugate her to chemotherapy. It would not cure her; just prolong her life for possibly 6 months, due to her being Feline Leukemia positive from birth as well.
    So, after 2-1/2 months of multiple tests, exams, procedures, etc., we decided to be strong and give her with peace with lots of love. She had never been sick a day in her life, but the Lymphoma was aggressive and spread rapidly. She was the 1st pet I’ve ever had.

    Today was the final goodbye and I stayed right by her side. My misnamed cat purred contently while I stroked, petted and talked to her about her many adventures, love of table food and gentle, docile demeanor. She died peacefully as I expressed our family’s love for her. My daughter who is autistic is devastated, but we are holding each other up. CK lived a happy and beautiful life and so has our family with her.

    After returning home, I quickly realized that I couldn’t bear to see her things- it caused too much pain, so we donated her things to a cat shelter in order for other felines to receive the love they deserve. We will remember her as happy, playful, spoiled and very much adored.

    Rest In Peace, Crazy Kitty. 11/5/2008-10/29/2015 You are forever in our hearts as you spend your birthday in heaven.

  148. Christine says:

    I am struggling deeply with the sudden and traumatic loss of my beautiful cat yesterday, following a hit and run road accident the previous night. His injuries were so substantial that we had to make the heart breaking decision to have our lively, young and free-spirited boy put to sleep. My husband saw him beforehand but was so distressed by the traumatic state he was in, that (with the best of intentions) he wouldn’t let me (or the children) see him that way. I know he was so heavily sedated with pain relief following his accident that he may not have been aware of my presence but I feel so utterly guilty for not being with him during his final moments to say my farewells. We brought him home to bury him in our garden and had a beautiful moment when a lovely butterfly appeared and hovered near us for many moments during his burial. It may seem silly to some but it truly brought me some small comfort to believe it was a divine message letting me know he was ok. My children are very upset but seem to be coping much better with his loss than I am at present and I am finding myself having to keep taking myself into another room just to weep on my own. I have lost many pets in the past but not at such a young age (he was only 4) or through such horrible circumstances and I am at genuinely in total shock and at a loss to know how to deal with my grief at present. I keep looking for him and feeling that it just can’t be real. I have know true grief through the loss of very close family members in the past but this has hit me extremely hard and I am concerned about my own coping mechanisms and that others may trivialise my grief. Sorry – rambling – but just feel the need to put my emotions “out there” among those who may understand just how devastated I am feeling.

    • david says:

      I totally understand your grief as we had to put our young tabby to rest this past summer due to serious health issues that we didn’t see coming. I am still sad and aching for her. And I have seen other cats roaming about who look like her and sometimes I trick myself into believing they are her or a relation of her. It’s normal to feel bad and it never really goes away but don’t let the death of your baby be a negative. When you’re ready maybe you might want to honor his memory and love by adopting another who would be so lucky to have a caring family like yours to embrace him/her and get a chance to blossom like a butterfly on a life journey with you.

  149. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thank you for being here, and sharing your memories of your cat. I wish I had words to comfort you as you grieve…it’s just such a sad thing, and nothing anyone can say takes away the pain of losing an animal we love so much.

    May you find healing, and may you remember your cat with joy and peace. With much love comes much pain – but I believe it’s always better to love greatly and experience the pain.

    I miss my cat Zoey so much, and I lost her 15 years ago! It still hurts, and my heart does ache for her. I don’t think the grief ever goes away totally, even if you open your heart and home to other pets.

    The grief eases up, but our beloved animals are part of our very souls. We can’t lose them without losing a piece of ourselves.

    I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    In sympathy,

  150. Elizabeth says:

    A few weeks ago I said goodbye to Carmen, my kitty companion of 20 years. She was given to my by an old friend when I was 18, right after I moved out of my parents house. She was with me through every part of my adulthood. Crappy apartments, questionable roommates, a marriage, stepchildren, kittens:)… All were our adventures together. She was my first and only pet since a kid, it really was the two of us. I was so lucky to have her for 20 years. This past Labor Day, after watching her health decline I had to make the heartbreaking decision and do what was best for my sweet Carmen. I miss her every day. Everything reminds me of her. Getting use to a new routine is still hard. I just wanted to share my story. It is nice to know there are other people who miss their friends as much as I do.

  151. Lucy says:

    I just also want to add, she was a part of my everyday, I was the main caretaker of her, every where that I look I see her sweet face…. she would always jump up into our window when she wanted to come in every night. I cannot get it out of my head that she was doing that and I wasn’t here to get her. I abandoned her and I have never felt more guilt………. she was such a sweet cat with such an fun personality. I just don’t know how to deal with this……. I am the most depressed that I have ever been!!!! I just feel like something is wrong with me…….. I pray for strength and peace. Please if you can give me any help, I cannot begin to tell how much I appreciate it!

  152. Lucy says:

    I am writing with the most heavy heart….. I never thought it was possible to love an animal like I loved our cat Lucy. We had her for 3 years and I grew more attached each day. We left last week to go on a mini vacation and had my daughter taking care of her, long story short she was no were to be found when she went to lock her up for the night on Friday. We left the back garage door open but when we returned home the next day there was no sign of her. I have canvased the area around our home but am left with no trace of her……… I miss her more then words can say and I am feeling so guilty for abandoning her! I know she must have been so scared……… I just continue to cry non stop, I haven’t eaten in 3 days and I have to take sleeping pills just to get rest. I call for her day and night and just continue to cry….. is this normal I feel completely in a fog and I cannot seem to be able to think about anything but how I should’ve done something else, I should’ve been here to protect her or called another family friend to lock her up later when she returned home, I just thought she would be ok……. I let her down, I feel so sad and horrible the grief seems unbearable…….. I try to keep my feeling inside because I feel like no one understands…. Please help me to find comfort………. I didn’t even feel this way when I lost a grandparent…. seems redicoulous and yet I cannot help it…. it consumes me!!!!!! Please help!

  153. gillie says:

    I lost my baby girl kitty on Monday. I had her for 17 years 4 months. She lived her life HER WAY…she left her life her way. She was sweet and sour and a indoor kitty. I would not change anything about our time together and blessed with a quick passing of old age. We knew this would happen. I will miss her and the tears will ease in time.
    I just want to let you know what wonderful humans beings you are to open your hearts and homes to these wonderful little animals that needed you and loved you. Without you they had nothing. They were blessed with your love and attention. Hold your chin up dry your eyes…THEY DO NOT WANT US TO HURT.

  154. William says:

    Tomorrow will be one week since we lost our sweet heart “Sage”. I am getting better at accepting the loss but I know I will never stop wanting my baby back if only for a few more minutes. My depression is so bad I just want to stop living until enough time has past for me to feel better since I have no desire to do anything. I am trying to not show any sadness to my wife because I know she must be just as sad as I am being Sage was her little baby and I still have my beautiful healthy “Psycho”, a very large female tort. Everywhere I go in our house, everywhere I look I see something that reminds me of my little girl. We have a walk through closet in our bedroom and under a set of shelves is a cubby hole with heat vent in front of it. As it is starting to get cold and did in the past our little Sage made this area one of her favorite spots to sleep since she loved to be hot and the heat vent would keep her warm there. So I had made that area her’s by laying a stack of shirts for her to curl up in and keep warm on the cold winter days. I will never be able to disturb that area but yet it will always make me sad going by it to look at it since I could almost guarantee if ever I just wanted to hold my baby I could find her there during the cold part of the year when we had the furnace going. The other day I saw a big roll of blue yarn in our closet, the same one she would move around in her mouth. It was funny one day my wife had gotton several rolls out for the cats to play with in our bedroom and they didn’t seem to notice them but then one day this blue roll was in our living room, quite a distance from our bedroom. I asked my wife if she moved it there and she said “no”. It was a mystery for a few days until one day I caught Sage moving it in her mouth bring it back into the living room after I took it back into the bedroom. She immediately dropped it since it embarrassed her to have anything her mouth. From that time time on we would catch her carrying it, the blue one and only the blue, it was her favorite color I guess. I use to comment that the roll of yarn is as big as her. It was the funniest thing to see her pick up something so big in her mouth. Cats are so fun and they do things that just don’t make sense and it doesn’t matter why only to them. I thought the other day how life would be so much better if we could save up moments with the things you have and never seem to really appreciate them until they are gone to be able to fully experience them at a later date and not just have to rely on remembering memories. If we could stimulate every one of our senses in the way we were living so that we could fully experience that event again and again like a hug or just to watch that person or pet we have loss and is gone. When we miss them so badly a memory isn’t enough if we could only hug and kiss them again like they were really back again then and only then I think we would have conquered loss and we would never ever have to be sad again.

  155. Lou says:

    Looks like I’m in good company here. I had to send my kitty off to the Rainbow Bridge today. I had him for 17 years. He was stage IV kidney failure, so there was nothing else I could do but kindly let him go. I’m sitting here right now really missing him. He usually would sit with me and keep me company. This is the hardest thing ever. I hope he is happy and peaceful now. He had a beautiful, loving and peaceful passing and for that I am grateful. I send my good wishes to all who have lost their beloved kittens and post here. It really is such a lose, but I would never have traded in having him in my life. I think you would all agree 😉

  156. Mazen says:

    I lost my cat moca yesterday at the age 11 years , he had a very rare skin disease, he stoped eating and drinking in his last two days , am a 40 y o guy and i can’t stop crying with grief , am in so much pain right now he was my best friend so beautiful and kind , I’ll never eve forget him , and i will not adopt another cat because i don’t want to go through this pain again .miss you my love .

  157. William says:

    We lost our beautiful calico “Sage” Wednesday night and I am the sadest I have ever been in my life. I feel strange since I am a guy and guys don’t cry but Sage was my little girl and I loved her so much. We have two cats and Sage was my wife’s baby and Psycho a tort is mine but I love both of them so much and Sage especially. Sage had developed lumps on her breast two years ago and in December of 2013 had surgery to remove the lumps that were determined to be cancer. We were told the cancer would probably return and that she had probably one more year to live. Nine months ago the tumors returned and since the first surgery was so hard on her and a second surgery could kill her we opted not to put her through it again. The tumors became much larger than before and it became very hard for her to walk. The last week she hardly ate and she had lost weight start about two months earlier going from her normal weight of ten pounds down to just below seven pounds. Wednesday I could only get her to lick the gravy from her packeted food. I will not ever kill another animal so I was not going to put her to sleep so we contacted the Vet and I was only concerned with what we could do to prevent her from starving to death. I knew the cancer would take her but I didn’t want her to suffer by starving. We decided to give her two shots, one was a fast acting pain reliever and the other a long lasting pain reliever. We drove away from the Vet and my wife who was holding her said she wasn’t breathing so I raced back but it was too late my baby’s heart had stopped. My baby left us after having her just two weeks shy of fourteen years. I held her warm but lifeless body one last time for ten minutes crying so loud I am embarassed to admit it. I am still crying and miss her so much. I tried to prepare myself for that day for over two years and I told my wife it was going to kill me to lose her. My wife is very worried about me, she is very sad too since it was her baby but I am so sad and so empty without my little girl. I know people will think I am weird but I am not I just fell for a little cat and actually two cats and I should feel fortunate that I still have mine who is very healthy but I miss my Sage. How do you get over a cat that is like having a child for fourteen years.

    • David says:

      Hey William don’t be embarrassed to grieve her as you loved her and she you too. You will never really get over it but with time you will hold her memory dear but you will come to terms with her death. I know as I have been there many times with both pet and human loved ones crossing into the big blue yonder. You could perhaps keep a decorative box full of her toys, photos as a tangible memorial to her to relate yourself to her spirit when you need a quiet thought connection to her. In time you may want another kitten to extend the legacy of love you had for her ….what a great way to honor that love. Deepest sympathy William 🙂

  158. Elise says:

    My beloved kitten was mauled this morning by my dog, i have no idea how just managed to get into the back since we lock all the gates and i have never seen her jump fences before she managed to get out of the back yard and fell to the ground. My mother woke me to tell me what had happened i rushed outside and wrapped her in a towel and picked her up she was squealing, she wa sin so much pain she could not stand up and was wheezing and also had a puncture wound on her lower body. I layed her down on the towel and told my mum to watch over he until i found a emergency number for an animal rescue shelter to help as soon as i sat down at my pc my mum rushed into tell me she stopped breathing i ran out and started rubbing her legs and arms checking for any signs of life then she took one last breath in my arms and just stopped.I waited 10-15 mins i kept rubbing her belly ect. picking her up gently but she just wouldn’t wake up i thought i felt a buzzing in her chest but that turned to be my shaking hands.She passed away with her eyes open i have no idea how to handle this i am still in disbelieve that she is gone, that she had to die in such a horrible way i feel like i failed her 🙁

  159. Natalie says:

    Hello, again. I lost my cat and 2 torts a few months back, spoke about it here. Well still get my sad moments. Any way, I went on one of those forums, and their was a pet psychic. Told him/she the basics, and this is what he/she came back with…

    Funny thing a week or 2 after, I was asleep, half asleep anyway, and I got the feeling Spodge was knocking the bedroom door to come in, I let him in, he jumps on my bed, I lie there and fuss him up, and tickle his belly, then I woke up. It only lasted about 5-10 seconds, but in that time, I felt very,very,very,very,very HAPPY. Was it Spodge mustered up enough energy to come and see me, I Iike to think so.

  160. NM says:

    One of my barn cats had four kittens on October 1, four of them. It was her second litter. We found them in the back of a truck and we moved them into the barn. They were black and orange. I constantly worried about them being laid on or not eating enough. Today, an hour or thirty minutes ago, I went to look at them. Everybody was huddled up sleeping except one. I moved her and she didn’t wake up. She wasn’t breathing either. I am not going to say how she died. I cried my eyes out. I decided to call her Melody. She was a small one. I miss her and I am very sad.

  161. Andrea says:

    My sweet companion Pixie just went to kitty heaven a few hours ago. I was all alone and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. To say goodbye to my constant companion for 11 years. As a single woman, Pixie was the best friend I had. She snuggled in bed with me each morning, curled up by my desk as I worked on my computer, and waited by the door when I came home. I can’t imagine life without her. Her illness was a drain on my for the past 4 weeks as I had to administer natural remedies to supposedly heal her tongue tumor. After spending over $1,000 on vets and remedies, I decided not to fork over another $300 to have a mobile vet come to my home and put her to sleep. So I watched her for this past week as she didn’t eat or drink, just moved slowly around the house, finding new places to curl up and wait for her body to finish breathing. I wondered if she held on so long because she knew I’d be bereft without her. I clipped some of her fur to save and said goodbye tonight as I cried my eyes out. I put her in a box and in my freezer until I can have a friend dig a grave in my garden. I want to think of her every time I pull delicious veggies from my garden and know she’s nourishing the soil with love. How will I go on without her?

  162. Katlyn says:

    My mom just called to tell me that my cat died. She stopped eating when I left for college and at first I came back every weekend but I got a new job in the city where I go to school and could only saw her every other weekend and even that time was split between being with her at home and being with my home town friends. She ate when I was there, I would pet her while she ate because we have a two other pets and I wanted her to feel special. She lost weight drastically but no one was concerned until I went home a few days ago and made a fuss about her. My sister tried to give her tuna and baby food but she wouldn’t eat it. She still ate cat food when I pet her though. It was the weekend and the vet wasn’t open but that Monday my mom took her in and they couldn’t find anything wrong now two days later she’s dead and I know it’s because I left her.

    We were so close and she must have felt so abandoned. If I had just spent more time with her and come home more often she would still be alive. Or if I had taken her to the vet when I first noticed her weight loss even though everyone said she was fine I knew she wasn’t and I should have acted on it.

    She was always such a big eater. Anytime I ate anything she wanted it, in the morning she would sit in my lap at the table and I’d feed her whatever I was eating, portarts, pancakes, cereal, eggs; if I was eating it she would eat it but she was really fond of melted ice cream and frosting. Sometimes I would sit with her on the couch and she would try to steal my food before I got it to my mouth. She was incredibly affectionate and liked to be on top of you all the time. Once when I was a kid she fell asleep on my stomach and I really had to pee but didn’t want to wake her up and literally cried because I was so conflicted.

    We loved each other so much I should have known that leaving would kill her, I could have gone to a school in the city and she would still be alive.

  163. thomas says:

    I am going to lose my cat soon, a matter of days. She was very weak when we adopted her. Since then, she has been incredibly sweet and docile. It is so gut wrenching.

  164. Julie says:

    It has been 10 years since Toby (the first cat after I married) passed away. He was the most astonishingly gorgeous tuxedo cat any of my friends and relatives had ever seen. He converted my husband from “whatever” to cat lover in two days. I was blessed to have him for 19 years. When I had to take him on the long last drive, my guardian angel must have been directing traffic; I was crying so hard I don’t know how I got to the vet and back. But I knew that he wasn’t enjoying life anymore and I didn’t want him to suffer.

    The vet left us together for 20-30 minutes to say good-bye. Then she came back and gave Toby the injection to ease his way from this life. I held him, petted him and talked to him; I wanted him to feel safe and loved. In a few moments he stopped breathing and his small pink tongue which had so often kissed me stuck out a bit. And I left so very alone.

    I have been blessed by God with many cats; each has been “the best.” I’ve had to take others on the long last drive. I have loved each one. Currently I have a 10 year old and a six-year-old, both males. Thank God they are healthy and happy; I spent many hours studying how I could help them live healthier longer lives. I’ve grieved the death of each cat since childhood, yet Toby’s passing was the most devastating and if I think about him even today I cry.

    So many people say we will never see our beloved animal companions in heaven (if indeed WE get there). Yet we have no definitive direction from Scripture, except that “Love never dies.” God’s love has amazed humans with miracles since creation; who are we to say that the love between me and Toby, still existing in me now, can’t exceed human understanding and human death? Doesn’t it strike you as arrogant to think man can define the limits of God’s love? Why would the All-Loving God allow such love to exist at all, only to cease at the beloved’s death?

    I don’t know all the answers; I’m not a theologian; I’m just a follower of Jesus, and I have faith that He will not allow this love to be wasted.

  165. Britt says:

    I lost my cat cotton at age 20. I had her since I was 9 years old. She was a sweet loving cat who really loved affection. Whats so painful is that I was not home when she died. My husband and I had a baby 18 months ago and I feel that my cat seeing my love for my baby was painful. I would often find her starring at me care for my daughter and I would think to myself how she must feel. I made lots of time for her though to try and counter act it. 6 months after my daughter was born she began getting really skinny, eating tons!! but not gaining any weight. She slept on the couch which was strange because she always slept in my room. I truly regret that she died alone and I couldn’t be there for her. I loved that cat and really will miss her. I honestly feel like I could never adopt another pet because losing them is too hard for me. Its like only having 12-20 years with a family memember and then they die, losing my dog 5 years prior was just as hard. So RIP My COTTON and I will always love and miss you.

    • David says:

      So sorry Britt about your Cotton. I too have just lost my Mia 2 weeks ago. I talk to her in quiet moments when alone telling her that her spirit can stay with me, that I need her spirit by my side. I have made a memory box for her full of memories of her …her toys, a piece of her blanket, photos of her, some of her fur and the flowers and grass she liked lying amongst outside. It is on top of my wall unit with her photo on top of the wooden box containing these memories of her. I even made a collage of photos for her in memory of her on face book. It is one way of keeping physical parts of her existence in a loving spiritual way that soothes my soul. Perhaps this may help you to deal with your loss. You”re not alone 🙂

  166. Selena says:

    Just an hour and ten minutes ago my sweet Odin passed away. He was hit by a car. I adopted him earlier this year, as he was an adult cat, and very big. Everyone who came over were always surprised saying what a sweet and friendly cat he was. We have a younger cat whom Odin always played with. It breaks my heart that our kitten won’t know where his best friend went. I miss him so much and the tears haven’t stopped yet. I honestly am heartbroken. When I adopted him I promised to take care of him and make sure nothing ever happened to him. I failed. I’m so lost. I’m sorry Odin.

  167. Maisa says:

    My kitty, Alien, of 19 years– and a friend for my entire life– died four days ago. Almost three years ago, he was diagnosed with renal problems, but we gave him intravenous fluids and put him on medicine and special food. He stayed so strong and healthy, and I was hoping he would live for many many more years. However, six months ago he developed a tumor in his throat. He quickly went downhill. His breathing these past few weeks got worse and worse, and he became so weak. But he still remained his usual self, always asking for food, and purring loudly when I petted him. He got so sick, though. It must have hurt so much to breathe, and he could barely drink at the end. We euthanized him on Thursday. He died in my lap, and I feel completely broken. I try to distract myself from thinking too much about him, or I would be crying nonstop. I’m sobbing right now. I miss him so, so, so much. Beyond words. I keep expecting to see him on his pillow in the living room, or sleeping in the dryer, which always made me laugh. I can barely look at the dryer now. Sometimes I think I can hear him purring, and it feels like a punch in the gut. I just hope he didn’t suffer too much, and that we did the right thing. It feels like we didn’t.
    We have another kitty, around the same age. She’s always been healthy and energetic, but now I am terrified she will develop an illness and decline as fast. I don’t think I could bear it if that happened. I’m really dreading the day I have to say goodbye to her, like I had to say goodbye to Alien.

  168. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thank you for sharing your experience with losing your cat. Your story is so meaningful and impactful – it helps other cat lovers mourn their own cats’ deaths. May your pain help others heal their own grief.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. May your heart heal and open up to love another cat, and may you open your home to embrace the love of another pet.

    Great love is always accompanied by great pain, for nothing lasts forever. May your cat live on in your heart, and may your home be filled with love and peace.

    In sympathy,

  169. David says:

    I’m so glad I found this website as I read so many people who are going through what happened to me this past Wednesday, August 26, 2015 when I without warning or preparation was advised by a vet that my Mia (tabby of about 6-7 years age) should be euthanized as she had a myriad of problems that he could test her for but any treatment may be futile.

    This past summer sometime around mid/late July she suddenly started getting picky about food. Eating a little and leaving lots behind. I figured she was perhaps being fed somewhere else and that’s why she wasn’t really interested in food. So I then started buying tuna and mixing it with the food she wouldn’t eat and she soon became reinterested in the food she was snubbing. That worked for about 2 weeks then she was disinterested in tuna. She started staying away from our balcony/backyard more and more, no longer coming up the stairs. I thought perhaps she met some new people who she liked better? I was getting very stressed out with her absence and then one rainy night I went downstairs to the backyard to find her under the stairs sitting . I looked at her and admonished her saying “Mia what are you doing out in the rain”? and then grabbed her and brought her inside , putting her into her condo.

    I tried feeding her and she would take a few laps of food then seem not interested. I gave her some Temptation treats and she gobbled them up. So I figured she is just being difficult and finicky as cats can be. So life continued adapting to her new tastes of what she would and would not eat. She continued her in-out life. I noticed as I would water my tomatoes she would sometimes be sleeping in the tall decorative grass in our garden. Years prior we had neighbor cats doing this and thought she was just being territorial and doing the same. Then some days I would find her under our umbrella table in the backyard sleeping but more and more she avoided coming up onto the balcony.

    Again I assumed she was being territorial and preferred to be on watch in the yard. Soon she would not even eat the Temptation treats and looked to be losing a lot of weight, breathing seemed labored, walking with a stagger gait and seemed to be staring like she was having trouble seeing. After couple days we took her to the vet who said there was a lot wrong with her , including a heart murmur, possible hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM) of which only test would confirm but not end up with a positive outcome with treatment.

    On his advice he felt she was too weak to pursue any treatments and euthanasia should seriously be considered. This of course was an unexpected shock. The progression of this problem started sometime around the middle of July with the pickiness over food until physical problems started around the 8th of August when she was ‘missing’ for more than 36 hours, then on the 14th she was ‘listless’ eating sometimes and sometimes refusing food…on and off.

    Around this time it was quite humid so we figured she wasn’t anymore hungry than we were suffering the humid summer. I felt listless myself from the heat. So I decided to keep her inside in air conditioning and out of the humidity. I ended up giving her strips of cold turkey breast which perked her up a little. Thank God she was finally eating again. After a few days she stopped eating again, refuse food, labored breathing , staggering gait and her eyesight was off.

    So on August 26th she was euthanized and I miss her terribly. So hard. I keep going to the balcony door to call her in or see if she is sitting outside on the chair. It’s gut wrenching. I’ve never felt so empty. The yard is like a desolate planet without her. She was like a rainbow of energy that made the outdoor yard welcoming. Walking outside with out her around is like walking into where the world has ended. I’m in such despair over her.

    I am trying to put together a memory box of her with her fur, favorite toys, the grass she laid on outside, piece of her blanket. I posted photos of her on my facebook as a memorial to her. It’s all I can do. I think I grieve her more because she was no more than about 7 years old and already had such a hard luck life before she found us. I wish I could have done more for her…but she didn’t want to be an indoor only cat. I went through so much stress knowing she was outside navigating the mean streets of Montreal not knowing what she would encounter but she was happy that way doing life as she wanted.

    Anyway if any of you read this ..thank you…I had to get this off my chest. I miss my little wild lioness so much!!!!

  170. angela says:

    i lost my beloved cat Jack 2 days ago. He had to be put to sleep as he had suffered a massive blood clot. I would have willingly let the vet euthanise me at that moment and cannot believe how utterly devastated I feel. It is a terrible thing to say having lost both parents but Jacks death has affected me more than anything in my life.

  171. thomas says:

    My cat gloves passed away tonight. He was with me through the loss of my son, and the ending of my marriage. He was laying in my lap, and just went to sleep. I feel so helpless and lost. I’m a 30 yr old man, and I’m crying so badly right now. I’m waiting for sunlight to bury him next to the bird feeder so he can always watch the birds, he loved that so much. I don’t have any friends or family left, and I am now all alone. God bless you all

    • Jeanne says:

      My heart breaks for you – with you. I am so sorry you’ve lost your beloved friend. I am here to tell you that it will get easier with time. Just cry, cry and cry and you will feel better. The crying only means that you really loved and that your little friend really loved you too. And you are NOT alone. You will see your cat again. We are all on the website to say – you are not alone. And I believe your kitty is beyond suffering, and is awaiting your reunion someday.

  172. natalie says:

    Heather, I felt like you last week, lost my Spodge 2 wees ago, I thought I would never pull through, terrible the first week, just crying, crying, crying. Everything reminded me of him. But slowly I am beginning to accept he has gone, but he is not nor will he ever be forgotten. I know we will meet up again with our beloved pets again. I watched this video, and it made me feel a bit better about all our deceased pets we have loved.

    • Snophy says:

      Almost four weeks since my original post and losing my little Sophie. Every night for three weeks I cried for her, then one morning I woke up and the pain was gone. The memories are still here. Her photos are up and I have her little cat casket with ashes by my bed. I miss her everyday age was baby and I’ll never forget her. We now have Molly kitten. The house was so empty without a young cat. I have my older kitty’s, they can’t replace her as they are their own personality

  173. Denise says:

    My furry boy of 20 years died today and I am completely devastated. He was suffering from last stages of renal failure. He was diagnosed 5 years ago with the beginning stages and we kept him going these last 5 years with a tremendous quality of life. But then in the last few months he started to really decline. He stopped eating as much, his breath got horrible (his body filling with toxins), his body became skin and bones. Finally the last few days he stopped eating all together not even baby food from my finger (we kept him going like that for the last 8 weeks) and he becames so weak. He absolutely would not take food and just a bit of water. I pleaded with him to try but he didn’t want to be forced. His breathing was very labored last night (I wondered if he would make it through the night) I finally called the vet and she came to the house and he passed away peacefully in front of his favorite window. My heart is shattere! I don’t think I can get through this! The grief is all consuming. I loved him so much and miss his sweet face and love. I look at where he use to lay and can’t cope and just cry. He was the best friend someone could ever ask for. I know people get through this but god this true torture trying to deal with him not being here with me. I’m so lonely and I miss him so very very much

    • sad heart says:

      Sorry to hear your story my cat died of the same problem she was a young cat of four years it was so sad time will heal your pain youl always have the pain but you will learn to cope as time passes it’s easy for me to say that to you I know you might not believe me but I saying give it time youl be ok

      • Denise says:

        What type of cat was yours? Mine was a Himalayan? Is this common?

      • sad heart says:

        My cat was a short haired black and white cat your cat sounded a nice cat I don’t think I’ve seen that type of cat before

      • Denise says:

        I am so sorry for your loss. I use to call black and white cats Oreos or tuxedo. He sounds pretty too. We lost our first Golden Retriever at the young age of 6. We felt Robbed because he was so young. It made the loss double hard. I can only imagine losing a young cat at 4 years old. My cat was basically a Persian (long hair) with Siamese coloring. He did not have the pushed in nose. I’m so scared to get another cat in case he gets sick and dies early in his life. Our second Golden Retriever is sick with cancer and heart disease and expected to pass away this year at the young age of 9. My heart just can’t take all this. Yesterday was brutal. I look at his favorite room and just see his little face with his long whiskers. Day 2 isn’t much better so far. I am crying all the time

  174. Heather says:

    I just found this website as I’m looking on ways to deal with my cat that died at 3:40am. I got up to check on her every hour. At 2 I repeated to her again that 8:30 she was going to the vet to get all better. But my snuffy quit fighting. She took a deep breath that woke me from my sleep. I held her as she took a couple more and passed. I Had A Little Funeral Today For Her. But my heart is broken. And I do believe if it is possible to die from a broken heart….I’m on the verge of it. Snuffy was my everything. She knows she had my heart. She got everything she wanted. Now I’m sitting in the bathroom floor crying my eyes out. Anything and everything I see reminds me of her. I don’t see myself making it through this. But I’m trying.

    • k says:

      I’ve been there. It feels awful but it does get better. Hang in there.

    • Jeanne says:

      Heather, I am praying for you and your little one. She is out of the pain. Praying for you as you grieve. We can only hope in the loving God who gave them to us in the first place – that all will work out and we will hold them and love them again. This website gave me hope. You are not alone. Hang in there.

  175. Juliet says:

    My cat Coal died the 15th of July 2015, he was only 2 years old. He was hit by a car and I can’t get the last image of him out of my head I miss him so much and feel so guilty for his death, because I let him out of the house. I wish he was still with me. He was the nicest cat ever, he was always happy, always purring and would meow to say hello every morning. I hope he is being looked after in heaven.

    • Jeanne says:

      Juliet and Kat – Reading your words here, I’m feeling your loss. My heart is so heavy for you. It’s never easy. The sting of losing them is so hard at first. I feel that big hole in your chest.

      But if I can help at all, it’s to say that the pain will ease. Mine has, a lot. I see my Biscuit – a little tabby-calico with no tail – in heaven when I pray. Yours are there too. They were gifts to begin with. Your life and love for them is a gift, too. And when you reach them where they are, your tears will be wiped away. God is good, even though this world is so hard sometimes. I believe.

  176. Kat says:

    My Cat had to be put to sleep on Saturday… I had her for 21 years since I was 2years old. I feel so lost without her… I never saw her body so I’m kinda in disbelief. I feel like if I express my feelings to friends nobody would understand. She was my baby…she was always there for me. she was my family…and I can’t get it thru my head I won’t see her ever again. I miss you Tiggy.

  177. Rebecca Richardson says:

    Natalie, I am so sorry. What a horrible loss. I know it doesn’t feel like it at this moment, but the pain will lessen with time. You will eventually be able to look past the circumstances of their death and realize that they have moved on and are no longer in distress. Bu until then, mourn the loss. Cry when you need to. I recently suffered the sudden loss of my cat and something that I did that has helped me cope was to put up a tribute on a website called “In Memory Of Pets”. You can post a picture and write what your pets meant to you.

  178. natalie says:

    Lost my Spodge yesterday, died at the vets, only had him for just over 2 years, he was a stray we took in. There was a housefire, started in my bedroom Sunday morning, I got home from work to find the aftermath.
    Spodge came to bed with me every night, and slept there when I was at work in the night. Fire started in the tortoise house, so have lost my 2 torts too peewee and bodger, who I have had 10 years.
    The family could not get into my room(they say) and so Sppodge was alone in there for 10 mins before the fire brigade came, he must of run off frightened, when they got there, he appeared about 9am. Took him straight to the vets, he was not burnt, but suffered from smoke inhalation. He was in a oxygen tank for 2 days, all touch and go, thought he was going to get better, I would of paid all my life savings to make him better. But the vets phoned yesterday morning to say he had passed away.
    I am heartbroken, I have lost my cat and 2 torts, I am blaming my family for not trying to go into the room and try and get them. I just cannot stop crying, blaming myself too, if I had been there that night, I could of saved them. Not really ate for 3 days, just greiving so bad, I do not think I can get over losing him.
    I even cannot stand to go into my bedroom now, not because of the fir damage, but memories of Spodge kipping on my bed, the tortoises. I look at various things in the house and garden, everything is reminding me of him, HE WAS HERE YESTERDAY, I just cannot stop crying.

    • sad heart says:

      Sorry to hear about your lose of your cat and tortoises it’s such a sad story I know what it’s like to lose a dear one you never get over it you just learn to live with it there always with you in your heart things will get easier as time passes I know it’s easy me saying this to you but youl see what I mean as the days pass by god be with you

    • Jeanne says:

      My heart is breaking for you in your loss. You are not alone. You are not alone. It’s going to be okay. It’s hard to realize now, but your love for these little ones means so much – some people feel very little when an animal dies. But we know they are more than animals – they are as beloved as children.

      Last night driving home I passed the old house where I lived where Bisquit was killed, and my heart lept just remembering how much I loved to come home to see her. I tried to push back a cry, and I almost didn’t weep. But then I said, “Weep and get it out” and so I did. Tears came like a fountain out of nowhere. There I was, driving home with all the traffic lights blended and blurry through my tears. I loved her so.

      I can relate to your horror at coming back to that room. It’s like visiting the scene of a crime. My girl was taken by coyotes just outside my bedroom window – right where I lay my head at night all those months after she was taken. I finally moved out of there about 9 months later. I just couldn’t take the pain anymore.

      They say women are made to nurture and it just might be extra hard on us women who lost our kitties and critters. They are like our kids. My kid was murdered. It’s felt like that.

      But here’s the deal – my heart broke and now it’s a little bigger. Mending and bigger because of my love for her and her love she gave me.

      God be with you through this. It will get better.

  179. Ed B. says:

    My cat died July 14th. I came home from work and he was waiting for me at the door as he always did. No matter what time I would come home from work he would be at the door. I immediately fed him his favorite, a can of fancy feast. He ate as I began making supper. After he ate I heard him in the litter box scratching around. I turned and as he jumped out of the box he jumped down 1 step and fell. I immediately sat on the floor to comfort him thinking he my be having a seizure. He coughed a few times and went limp. Unbelievable ! I prayed he would come out of it but I knew in my heart he was gone. I have had several animals but this cat was the best companion I’m sure I will ever have.
    Let me tell you a little about my baby. When my daughter and I got him 9 years ago as a kitten at the local PetSmart through the Humane Society, he was in the cage and we asked to hold him. As I talked to him he actually answered but just by moving his lips making no sound. This was something he did all through his life. He would often meow when I talked to him but often just move his lips. He was a beautiful cat and I often told him that I hoped that he understood me. When I would come home from work before meeting me at the door he would be sitting on the television stand hanging through the vertical blinds looking at me through the window. He loved sitting on the television stand laying on top of the direct tv box which was warm for him. When I came home from work I could leave the door open and he would not even think to run outside.
    He slept different places but often as I was sleeping if I was facing the back of the couch
    he would crawl between me and the back of the couch and I would hold him. His last favorite place to sleep was on top of the couch. If I did not get up the usual time he would paw at me to wake me up. On weekends when I did not get up the usual time he would do this and it would annoy me. Boy what I would give for him to annoy me again. He loved to get brushed, when he heard me getting the brush out of the glass container he would run into my lap to get brushed, After brushing one side I would say “ok turn around” and he would turn 180 degrees so I could brush the other side. He was the classic lap cat. I really loved this cat and my heart is shattered. I feel like my body is in hyper motion and time is non existent. It is hard for me to explain this. I want another kitty with his same personality but I know this will never happen. Right now if I was offered a million dollars or my kitty back there would be no option Give me my kitty for even 1 day. I had him cremated and he along with another cat I loved are going with me when I die. I love you PUMA and I miss you dearly. Rest in peace

  180. Christina says:

    Hi everyone. I have been reading through all the comments and it is somehow strengthening me during this difficult time. Yesterday afternoon our 11 week old kitten who we had for just 3 weeks somehow managed to get out of the house and has been missing ever since. I have notified all out neighbors and been searching as well but we haven’t found him as yet. I have all these feelings of guilt coz I should have checked that he was in the house when I locked up. I feel this sense of emptiness that my husband cannot seem to understand. Even though we had him for such a short time, I fell in love with him. I looked forward to seeing him after work and stealing him from my daughter’s room in the mornings to cuddle with me. I’m still hoping that someone finds him or that he finds his way home even though my husband believes it’s wishful thinking but hope is all I have. My daughter prayed this morning: Jesus please help us find our kitty. I pray our Lord answers.

  181. Steve says:

    Hello ameila . I know what your going through. Ive just lost freddie,he was my best mate and i really dont know how im going to get through this pain im feeling now

  182. Amalia says:

    Jeanne, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words. I’m filled with grief over losing Lolli. He came in my life at a time when I most needed comfort. When you mentioned that God brought me Lolli, it was as if tou read my soul. I used to find so much joy in being with Lolli that I always thought he was God sent to me. He was just such a sweet and funny kitty. I have so many memories of his fun personality that they have haunted me during these days. But I am working at finding back the joy of those memories. Thanks again for listening and taking the time to respond. I apologize for all the grammatical errors. Typing while crying is very difficult. Amalia

  183. Amalia says:

    My heart is broken. My beautiful Lolli was 9 months when she was killed by some wild animal. All we found was her tail. I suffer when I imagine what she must have gone thru. And it was my fault, I should of never left her outside. I have had many cats and still grieve for them. Yet Lolli was different. He was such a loving, fun, and unique little one. Despite being 9 months he had a baby face due to being the runt. He had survived 2 surgeries for a blocked uretha and only 3 and 5 months of age. He loved baths and being carried like a baby. I miss him so much!!! All I have is pictures and videos of him but I will never get to kiss his wet nose and feel his soft fur again. I wish I could have you back Lolli. I look over and over agin at his favorite play spots hoping to see him.

    • Jeanne says:

      Oh Amalia, I send you my deepest sympathy, for I know a little of what you feel. The emptiness and the sorrow when they have left us is so hard. It only means you are able to love, and love deeply, and that is a good thing. I believe you will see her again. I don’t know if you believe in God, but there is truth in the fact that God brought her to you, and you loved her and served her well, and I believe you will hold her again.Right now she is free of her suffering. You will see her again. Jeanne

  184. sad heart says:

    I lost my lovely fluffy cat yesterday I’m so heart broken she was the light of my life she was my friend she had kidney disease and nothing could be done for her shed had everything done possible is was just wasting away so the vet sent her to heaven now I feel feel so bad for letting her go as she put her trust in me that lovely face with them lovely eyes looking at me I have pictures of her but it’s not the same without her it hurts so deep and I feel like part of me has been taken there’s an emptiness in my home as she’s not there any more and my heart is broken she was only 4 years old I thought I’d have many more years with her I got her from a resue centre she had such a poor life so I wanted to give her the best life ever but she was taken away so sad she will always be in my heart. From a very sad heart

    • Jeanne says:

      Hello Sad Heart – I’m grieving with you about fluffy. She is not alone now, I believe, and you are so kind to have relieved her of her suffering. I lost my little one a year ago, and I am finally feeling a little less pain. It takes a while to heal the emptiness of their passing. You are not alone in your sadness. You were her beloved friend, and had helped her live a good life while she was with us. Only a good friend like that would let her go – and not be selfish and make her stay when she was suffering. Cherish your love for her, and her loyalty to you, these are the reasons we are blessed to have our kitties in our care – to learn to love them enough to let them go to God. Jeanne

    • Jeanne says:

      What you are feeling is called anguish. The best way to deal with it I’ve found is when I fall to my knees, or curl up in a ball, and cry till my pillow is soaked. That cry is what softens the pain. The next day I feel relief.

      I miss my little one – I know how much you miss your kitty. I never got to kiss her goodbye that day she was taken from me. I didn’t know that morning, when those little eyes gazed at me while I got ready for work, that I’d not see that little face again. I didn’t know and so now, all that I can utter, all I can speak, is “no”. No, don’t go out that door. No, don’t take her away from me. No, don’t let this emptiness hurt so bad. No, you are not gone. No, we had some time left – don’t leave me now.

      But when the crying is over. When the prayers are lifted up. When I see my kitty gazing at me from that eternal place where she came from – purring and contented. Just like she was that last morning, watching me from her favorite spot in the sun. I am released from the anguish. Losing our kids – our kitties – will get easier. It’s gotten easier for me. My love will never die. She and I will meet again. Of that I am sure.

  185. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Snophy,

    Thank you for being here, and sharing what you’re going through. Losing a cat is one of the saddest things in life. My cat is 11 years old, and I know that my life will never be the same after she’s gone.

    When your cat dies, I don’t think the pain ever really stops. The pain of losing two of my past cats – Zoey and Fluffy – is still deep in my heart. I miss them so much, even 15 years later! It’s just part of loving someone…you’re never the same after they’re gone. The grief is always with you — but it does lighten.

    My prayer for you is that the grief you feel about losing Sophie eases a bit. May you remember her with peace and love, not pain or sadness. May your heart heal, and may you know that she is in Heaven and she’s watching over you with love and joy. She’s your angel cat! She doesn’t want you to be sad. I pray your heart heals and can open up to love another cat one day.

    Blessings and sympathies,

  186. Snophy says:

    Its been almost a week now since my little face was taken from me. I cry every night when I go to bed. I miss her so much. Her vets sent me a lovely card. Words from friends and the flowers are kind. It’s nice to know I have caring people around me… It doesn’t bring her back though. It hurts so much. Going to work takes it away from my mind. Coming home is hard, all her toys are still about. When does the pain stop??

  187. Snophy says:

    My little girl Sophie was taken from on Wednesday night. She unfortunately did not learn from her ways last year when she was run over. Five months of two weekly visits to the vets to get her well again. The pure heartache was immense but I wasn’t giving up on her. She loved me and her vet could not believe how she was when she was with me. She pulled through.She was a brave and determined little soul with so much life in her. The Siamese part of her made her particularly special. I have had 6 cats in all, 3 of them still here,each with their own unique personality. I’ll miss her so so much even tho she was only part of my life for only two short years. How something so small can have such an impact on you is unbelievable. My heart aches so much. I love you my little SophieWophie xxx

  188. Rebecca Richardson says:

    It has been almost 3 weeks since I came on this website to post the horrible news of the death of my cat Bridget. I still miss her presence in my life. And I still cry because of the void that exists. I have 6 wonderful cats left, but they are all unique and the loss of one changes the dynamic and the feel of the house. But one thing that has helped me is my Christian faith. Although the bible does not speak of animals as having an eternal soul, I believe they do. The bible is about the salvation of man. Animals don’t need salvation. They already have it. They are a beloved creation of God. Just as angels and man are beloved creations. And just as man is a little lower than the angels and the animals are a little lower than man, I believe all have a purpose to God. And I believe all will share eternity together. Although I don’t think Bridget will be my pet in the hereafter. I believe she will be a worshiper alongside me and will serve God with joy just as I will. This website is wonderful as it allows us to express our deep feelings which can be difficult to share with others face to face. I hope it remains for a long time.

    • k says:

      When it is my time to pass over, I believe that all the kitties I have had in my life will be there to great me. I can’t wait to see them again. I also think we will be able to communicate and I will know everything they have to tell me.

  189. Jeanne says:

    My beautiful old girl was taken by a coyote last year. It will be 1 year in less than a week. I have a hard time explaining the emptiness I still feel. It helps me understand how parents must feel when losing a child, or couples who lose their partner. She was the best partner I’ve had. She lived through the divorce, and we had almost 15 years together. She walked out that door into the night, and I never got to say goodbye. She was killed right outside my bedroom window. I never got to pet her a last time. I will always be looking for her until I see her again. And God knows how glad I’ll be to see her when I pass out of this kookie/beautiful/harsh world. I keep imagining her in God’s arms. Looking over at me, all blinky-eyed and contented, purring, and glad to see me. Like, “where have you been Mom?” the way she looked. God I miss you my girl.

  190. mohamed says:

    my cat died yesterday : sunday 7 july 2015 he died out of home ….and in the morning my friend came to me and asked me if my cat home and then i told him no and then he said follow me and when i went with him i seen my cat in a small garden of my neighbor sit back in the grass i felt shocked and pain … and after i told my parents and my brothers we went to a good place and then we bury him he’s cemetry was so clean and full of trees and fresh air ……. but the problem is i watched a video of a cat died was name R.I.P .MY CAT 17/05/ 2015 and when i remember that sad music and my cat and his cat a cry a lot ….so please help me <3 <3

  191. Becs says:

    Last night I saw a funny video of a guy playing a cat version of “Whack a Mole” with his kitten. So my girls and i decided to try this out, as we were cutting out the circles my daughter was sitting on the kitchen stool with Muss muss (9mths) and he was licking the frosting of her cupcake. She put him on the couch and Miss 4 wen over for cuddles. After that he went outside and 10 mins later there was a knock on the door and my neighbour was holding his lifeless body. Some one and hit him with a car. It hurts so much and this morning as my husband went to work I absently minded clicked my fingers for him to come for his morning cuddles and he didn’t. I miss my cat, he was the coolest little kitten. today I have told my three girls that we are going to the plant shop to choose nice plant for him to place on his grave. It doesn’t seem fair at all as he was a huge part of our family. Yesterday afternoon I went to my neighbours house for a catch up and he followed me across the paddocks and they thought it was so cute that he sat outside looking in waiting for me, he followed me everywhere.

  192. Roxane Dumontheil says:

    My 6 year old cat died yesterday by falling outside our balcony on the 7th floor. I cannot express the sadness that I feel and all I can do is cry and scream and shout. I cannot bare to not feel her on my leg as I sleep, I cannot stand not seeing her play with my pens as I work, and I cannot deal with not seeing her. She was always with me, she was my best friend and the one and only that I love unconditionally. I feel so guilty of letting her go outside, I feel like it was my fault and I should have taken better care of her. We were talking to the doctors at the hospital when she died, and it was one of the most traumatising experiences of my life. I chose her with my mother, who has also passed away, and I just feel empty inside and full of holes. I still await the moment where I am going to wake up and her little face is going to be there, asking me for food.

  193. Rebecca Richardson says:

    I came home from work yesterday to find my cat Bridget lying on her side at the opening of my closet. She gave me a couple of raspy mews but she didn’t move. I went over and touched her and I knew it was bad because she was so cold to the touch. I grabbed a towel and put her on it and got a blanket and wrapped her and drove to the ER but she died on the way. I watched the light go out of her eyes. The techs couldn’t find anything obviously wrong with her. She just had some traces of blood in her nose. It might have been her heart. I’ll never know. Right now it is after 8 in the evening and it was right around now that I found her yesterday. I can’t stand the thought of never feeling her rubbing my feet with her head again. Or touching her silky fur. I was there when she was born, and I was there when she died. I keep hoping it’s just a bad dream and I’m going to wake up soon. She would have been 5 years old in September. I just don’t understand. But I’m hoping that by writing this it may help me to begin to heal.

    • k says:

      My almost 21 year old cat died in March. They think she had some type of brain lesion but could not MRI her due to her age and kidney insufficiency. I knew she was in trouble and got her to the VET ER. They expected a 2 day stay and I left due to 4 hours worth of tests. She went bad and into a coma while I was gone. They thought her brain lesion made her heart slow to a point it could not sustain consciousness. They had her on life support until I got back and I let her go because there was no quality of life without the support. It was awful the first five days and then began to get better. She too was born in the house. Hang in there. I still miss my girl but at least now I can manage.

  194. Sue says:

    Just lost my 20 year old tabby. She has been diabetic for the past 8 years. I tested her blood sugar and injected insulin twice daily. She had a terrible seizure on Sat 30 May and had no choice but to call my vet. Nothing could be done for her so she was put to sleep with quiet and dignity. I am devastated.

  195. Gareth says:

    Early hours of 27th may my beloved 1 year 9month black cat mia ..ran outside as i was getting her sister Mina in. Mia was the loving one of the two. Mina more the loner but affectionate in her own lil way…I called and called and tried to get Mia back in but she was in total play/hunt mode…so i left her and fell asleep with mina on my bed, i woke up 3am and ran downstairs thinking mia would run in! she did not..i was panic stricken i got changed and went to look for her…at the time i was looking after them while my parents was on holiday saving them from cattery stress. so i was alone…up on the main road about half mile from our house i found her placed on a grass bank lifeless…i was angry yelling at her why why why why did you come up here!! then sorrow filled my heart… i grieve but take comfort that i brought her home kissed her head and buried her in my garden with her toys and planted beautiful plants to bloom every year with the colour that she brought into my life during her short life. My thoughts are with anyone who has lost their beloved pet just simply cos fate took them too soon.

  196. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Filling the space in an empty home when your cat dies is sad. Your heart and arms are empty, and you miss your furry feline so much!

    May you find comfort in the thought that your cat is resting in peace, and that your souls will be reunited one day. May you grieve in healthy ways, and open your heart to love again.

  197. Dawn says:

    My cat Chance would have been 11 last month, in April. He disappeared a week before his birthday and I’m really having a hard time with it. I’m 51 years old, for crying out loud. But he was the best cat I ever had. We still have 3 others, but the dynamic has really changed. I’m not a super emotional person, but I wasn’t ready to lose him yet!

  198. Laurie says:

    Dear Nikki,

    I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to go through when your cat died. It’s a terrible accident, and the grief and sadness sometimes feels overwhelming. Your poor cat was here and healthy one minute, and then gone the next. It’s heartbreaking, and so difficult to understand.

    My prayer is that your heart heals as you grieve your cat’s death. May you cry and be sad as you say good-bye, for this is a sad time. I pray you’re able to come through the grief and be strong for your other cat. I also pray you’re able to open your heart to perhaps adopting a new cat, and sharing all the love that in your heart with a new animal who needs a home. It may be too much to think about right now – I have a cat and two dogs, and I will be wrecked with grief when they die – but my prayer is that you heal and become able to love again. May you feel God’s strength, peace, and love as you say good-bye to your beloved cat. Amen.

    In sympathy,

  199. RosalieG says:

    That is such a sad story. I’m sure you feel awful. Your other cat will feel your pain too. Keep an eye on the other cat. It may stop eating due to depression. Take it to the vet if it does because only a couple days without eating, it can get fatty liver disease. I took my other cat to the vet and we gave her a liver supplement and did tests. The liver supplement prescribed actually acts as an anti-depressant too. My cat perked up and has lived 3 more full years since then. We started being very affectionate with her and she has risen to the challenge and become a brand new cat that loves attention. I also play Jackie Evancho videos for her. She seems to love her singing.

    Let your heart heal, and reassure your other kitty. Pray to God for help to get through it. God gave me a sign I asked for to reassure me my cat was in heaven. I said to give me a sign with cardinals or blue jays. When my husband set the table, for some reason he used glasses I’d received for Christmas a few years back. These glasses have cardinals and blue jays on them. My husband didn’t know my prayer. God has also sent cardinals and blue jays to our bird feeder on a regular basis.

    Trust your kitty is living happier in heaven and it will help you go on and forgive yourself.

  200. nikki says:

    Last night someone hit my cat with their car I heard the tiers trying to stop and as soon as I ran to get my cat she was hit. I had to watch her flopping around nonstop and when I picked her up her blood was all over my body. I took her to the pet er and was told it was to late that she is gone.
    I don’t know how to deal with this I had to hand feed her and help her use the bathroom when I first found her out side in the snow. She has been through everything with me and everytime I wanted to give up I knew I couldn’t because she needed me.
    now its just me and my other cat who is just as sad as me
    what do I do

  201. Laurie says:

    Dear Jen,

    It sounds like Littledot meant so much to you, and you’re devastated by her death. Cats are so important to us! I love my cat, too, and I dread the day I have to deal with her death.

    I hope you’re starting to heal. I don’t think we’re ever the same after our cats die — I still miss a cat I lost 15 years ago, and feel guilty about her death — but slowly we do start to feel ourselves again. It’s important to grieve and say good-bye when your cat dies, but it’s also important to give ourselves permission to heal and move on.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. If you want to share memories of Littledot, please feel free. Writing is one of the best ways to heal from pet loss.


  202. Jen says:

    I am going through this right now. My darling Littledot died at age 19. I spent a lot of time with her. I loved her so much. I cry anytime I’m alone. As soon as I walk out the door from work, I start crying. I’m crying right now. I can’t sleep. I feel like I want to die, too. Heartbreaking does not come close to how I feel. I don’t think I could go through that again.

  203. Laurie says:

    I don’t think we ever really get over the grief we feel when our cat dies. I had to put my Fluffy down almost 20 years ago, and I still feel so sad when I think about losing her. It’s just part of me now, just like the pain of losing my grandmother, sister, aunt, and best friend.

    There are no exact stages of grief, and there is no exact time that mourning pet loss takes. I believe our pets will always leave a hole in our hearts – and it’s up to us to choose to remember them with peace, joy, compassion, and happiness. I try to remember all my lost loved ones with peace and joy, not pain or grief. It’s hard, but I really believe there is no forgetting. It’s just about moving on, and loving who we’re with right now. For me, it’s my two dogs and my cat that I love right now. I miss Fluffy, but I try to focus on the beloved animals in front of me right now.

  204. Ying Li says:

    I just lost my cat Ruby 3 weeks ago from illness. I have so much guilt that I wish I have taken care of her better. Everyone said that she had good 17 years, never sick, she had my husband and my parents all the time, but I felt that I did not spend enough time with her. 3 years ago, she seemed to eat less. I wondered if she was sick. I had not have good experience with vet at that time with my other cats, my husband decided to change to the best food and add natural herbal supplement for her and she was doing great until 3 weeks ago. She stopped eating and threw up her food at night. Emergently I found this great vet (His name is Dr. Mike Doe) overnight. The minute I saw him, I trusted him. I had bad feeling that something serious wrong with my Ruby. She was diagnosed with possible cancer and I am working with cancer patients for over 10 years. I had to make the hardest decision to put her down. She was 17 years old, I could not imagine for her to go through biopsy and chemotherapy etc…
    It is very hard for me and it will be 3 weeks tomorrow that I have not touched or hugged her. When I am at work, I don’t feel much sadness. The moment I come home, I started to search her and felt that she is everywhere in the house. I felt so bad that I am crying for the loss of cat and see my patients are fight for their lives…, I wish that I spent more time with her instead of work all the time…, How long does human grief for their pets? I heard about 2 years. I can’t live like that for 2 years. I am dreaded to get another cat because of not spending enough time with them…

    • RosalieG says:

      Ying Li,

      I know that feeling of guilt. I, like you, had a negative experience with a vet so didn’t take my cats. I knew something was wrong with Misty–same story as yours. I still feel some guilt especially because our second cat we did take to the vet and has lived another 2 yrs with treatment (pills) after her diagnosis. 17 years is pretty much the end of life for most cats but it is still hard because the cat has been with you so long.

      I suggest you write a letter to your pet about how special it was. Say your apologies in there. Ask God to send you a sign that will assure you all is well.

      I still miss Misty and have occasional dreams about her after 2 yrs, but the major heavy grieving was about 2 months. Grieving is a normal part of processing loss. Just do what you can and look for support if needed.

  205. Sgteven says:

    In our household, we had 4 cats; one being a male feral that adopted us. He brought a respiratory ailment into the group after being around for about a year, but at first I thought he just had a minor cold. One of our other female cats of about 10 years of age caught it and she became very sick, requiring vet care and medications and forced feeding. Then our 8 year old female cat caught It, but it didn’t progress as severely in her. Our main cat was a frail 20 year old matriarch, who seemed ok. We isolated the sick cats and their food and water, but within a few days, the old cat began sneezing – an ominous sign. She had been under a vet’s care for some time, so we brought her in; but it was too late and she got very sick. She had survived 2 previous major health crises, so I hoped she might make it thru this one. But I was forced to ponder the odds, and as much as I wanted her to live, I could not bear to see her suffer – so I had her euthanized.
    I struggled with my emotions as I watched her life ebb away, and wept uncontrollably as I drove home with her body in the car. I returned to an environment where I see her traces everywhere and cannot believe she is gone.
    I console myself with the fact that death is inevitable and that she is now at peace, as her physical burdens are over. Make the most of the time that you have with your companions, as you will realize how precious it was when it is gone. My emotions run the gambit, from some decision guilt of euthanizing her, to not protecting her better, to just the plain loss of her loyal companionship. Friends that have lost pets have consoled me too. Life goes forward – these departed animal friends of ours become cherished memories and remind us of the value of their unwavering friendship . Send them your love and that light will shine on in their new world.

  206. Laurie says:

    Dear Marc,

    It sounds like your cat’s death has been really difficult for you to deal with. You’re still in the midst of heavy, black grief. I agree with you; there might be some other problem that is making your grief much more difficult to process.

    Why do you think Rusty was so important to you? I think it’s important to talk to a grief counselor, and sort through your feelings and thoughts. You have the answers – it’s just a question of digging deep to find them within yourself.

    What is causing you such pain? Talk it through with someone. It’ll be painful to talk about it, but it will be worth it in the long run.

    I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.


  207. Marc says:

    As im writing about my cat story tears are pouring down my cheeks. Rusty was my best friend of 17 years together he past away in may this year and i think of him every day, i can’t talk about him without crying i do have another cat and dog and i feel guilty
    Of this love that i had for my rusty my wife sister past away to
    Cancer and i hardly cry but i was very sad about it, so my wife is very unhappy about the fact
    That i did not have much emotion as i did for my rusty
    And they is nothing i can do about it.
    I miss my rusty so much i feel that i am too sensitive and can’t let go and i do not want to let go so i do think i have a problem here

  208. Laurie says:

    Thank you for sharing your experience here. I wish I had words of comfort to help you mourn your cat’s death, but I feel like words aren’t enough.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. May your hearts and souls heal, and you remember your beloved cats with peace and joy.

    In sympathy,

  209. Karen C. Martin says:

    Last Thursday afternoon, my 12-year-old Phineas died at home while I was on my way to the vet’s for more meds. He was being treated for toxoplasmosis. It initially took five days for the vet to decide to put him clindamycin and he was on it for two weeks and doing well. Unfortunately, I was not told until I called the vet three weeks in that many cats must be on meds for months, not weeks, for toxo. Phin’s symptoms returned four days after the second week of pills and I was too late getting more. I cannot feel worse than I have since he died. He was such an unconditionally loving friend and I feel like I totally failed him. I know that guilt changes nothing and I am trying to remind myself to be grateful for the bond we had for 12 years. I always tried to protect him and to have my indoor cat die because of my negligence is unbearably painful. I have lost family and friends over the years, and this loss is just as painful — maybe more so because I feel like I caused it.

  210. Mathy says:

    I recently lost one of my cats. She was 6 years old and seemed perfectly healthy. On Monday, my parents informed me she had a kiney infection and was put to death. I’m still in shock. I miss her but I know I’m not alone.

  211. Annabella says:

    Liliana my heart goes to you,
    What can do to us a lit bit of fur, i hope your cat didn’t suffer very much, because beside the loss that it’s very painful, you will be thinking how afraid Penny was, what she was thinking, I asked my cat Pippin to go to her and protect her, he always protected female cats by other bully cats. Where she is now there is no suffering, no pain, when my cat died I asked my mother to help him, the receptionist at the vet asked his cat Clarke to help him too, (my mother and Clark both passed away and she said there are times when she sees her cat and feel his presence from the other world. I had a friend she is an economist but she had the same experience she was away in a work meeting, and when she got back to the hotel she saw her cat at the reception, later she heard from her mum her cat died.

    I tell you my story you are not alone, I am recovering from my pet loss too.
    I just lost my cat too, we had appointment with the vet on Sat 2nd of March 2013 at 14:40, it was an unusual sunny day, still very cold, here in London, at about 11 am Pippin my beautiful 15 year old tabby went out into the garden I was feeling very sick myself, I couldn’t sleep the previous night, I watched him from the window, he stay out about 15 minutes. I have been agonizing about my cat for about 6 months when he was diagnosed a tumor on his esophagus not operable, I used to give him a medications for the pain and for the tumor to develop slowly, but after 6 months there was growth almost all around his jaw and he was unable to eat, and my cat loved his food, that week I tried with all my love to make him eat no longer solid food, he no longer could open his mouth, and I wanted him alive in my life, he was like my flesh and blood, he was my child, he trusted me, but I couldn’t let my selfishness to keep him alive with all that suffering, since he got ill I have cried almost every day been powerless, assisting impotent to that illness taking over my beloved cat, but when he had good days I was the happiest person in the world, that day I knew it was a good bye, I thought I was prepared for it, but I felt totally crushed, the pain was agonizing I felt guilty, I had my cat killed, he didn’t want to die, but how could I have let him die starved and in pain, he lost the fur on his neck because the tumor was pushing out, I used to disinfect it, my heart was was sliced in a way I didn’t think it could be possible. My boyfriend was with him,I was there too, but I couldn’t look at him. We took his lifeless body at home I didn’t want him to be buried right away, we did it next day, in the garden, every since we have big candle burning just to remind him he is still loved and in my heart, I still cannot believe I will never see his sweet face again, that he will not come when I call him, when I saw him for the very first time I fell in love with him immediately, he was very friendly, not a bad bone in his body, I have 3 other cats, they at times hate each other but he was the peacemaker,
    since he fell ill I devoted myself to him, and I miss him and always will, now you may think this is the worst thing ever happened to me, no I know pain, my mother passed away 10 years ago, and always will love her too. Good bless you my friend healing will come too.

  212. Liliana says:

    I just recently lost my cat, a coyote got him. I am very hurt, I don’t know what to do to make my pain go away. I have been crying a lot, he is always in my mind 24/7. I really miss him a lot 🙁

  213. Laurie says:

    I know there is nothing I can say to make it easier, but I just want you to know that every night I say a prayer for people who lost their cats. It is such a heartbreaking thing, to say goodbye to your beloved pet. I hope this article helps you mourn your cats death – especially the comments section, because it shows you you are not alone.

  214. Genevieve says:

    My kitten of 9 months passed away on the 13th of February from a rare disease called FIP (Feline infectious peritonitis). His name was Bennington and he was a Birman Burmese mix. He was the sweetest, most affectionate cat with such a good pure soul. He touched every single one of my family members so deeply and each of us connected with him within no time at all. He was so playful and he loved to be loved and to love. He would greet me at the door when I would come home from work or school and we would have a routine of cuddles and kisses for at least twenty minutes. He would sleep in the most awkward positions and I would always wake up with him sleeping on my face or right beside on my pillow. When you would look into his eyes, you could tell right away that he was an old soul and he would see right through you and would always know exactly how you felt. He was the most comforting kitten and I am so blessed to have had him, even if it was for such a short time. I believe that he had a very important purpose in his life and he fulfilled it..he brought my family so much closer and he has taught each member of my family valuable and important lessons in life and in love. He taught us to love unconditionally. I brought him to the vet just 3 weeks ago thinking he was just congestioned and needed some antibiotics to clear it up but when he wasn’t getting better and eventually stopped eating, I knew that something was terribly wrong. I brought him back to the vet and they did a blood test and an echography. He had fluid in his chest cavity (which was why he couldn’t breathe well) and his white blood cells were destroying all of the red ones and had caused him to be severely anemic. He was always a small cat and if I think back to earlier signs, he always had soft stool and diarrhea which is one of the only signs really for FIP. The confirmation of FIP comes with post-mortem biopsies or checking the consistency of the fluids that were in his lungs. 90% of cats have this in their bodies but some a pre-disposed to developing it, after 3 years of age their immune system has eventually fought it off but in Bennington’s situation, he kept re-infecting himself and was currently going through stressful changes (we moved to my moms) and I had two older cats that were probably carriers of some upper-respiratory bugs and this is what might have really caused him to go from a happy kitten to a very sick kitten in a matter of 3 weeks. I really miss my angel kitten and talking about it has helped quite a lot..the support from my family is amazing and it truly is the best thing to talk about it..I have hope that I will one day see my Ben again, his soul is attached to mine..and I will know it when I will look into his eyes but for now he is watching over me and I feel him around me.

  215. Samantha R says:

    Today 02/14/2013 me and my husband said goodbye to our two year old Tabby Jasper.. He had feline leukemia.. We didn’t notice the signs at first. Three weeks ago I came home from work and noticed he was weak and had a small patch of hair missing on his head with a red cut.. It healed but then a few days later he had the same on the back of his neck and under his chin.. I took him to the vet that same week only to spend 200$ on finding out nothing and having the vet tell me what they think he had.. My husband had to leave for a week that same night so I slept on the floor in the living room with him and feed him food and water and his medication the vet doctor wanted to try him on to get his blood cell count up and his plates because he didn’t really have anything it was at 8% for a week, waking up ever few hours to start all over again, even though I’m 17 weeks pregnant and worked everyday that week, I did it for him to try and save him.. because at the time I thought I could.. So I took him to a vet hospital in LA a week later… When my husband got home we took him to a specialist I spent around 1500$ of money I didn’t have trying to save his life to find out two days later (yesterday 02/13/2013)he came home that day, i took as many picture’s as I could of him and us and of him with Sally and the four of us. They told us what he had and that I couldn’t do a thing… We thought we might have a few more days left with him but come to find out he had ended up getting an ammonia and had trouble breathing.. So we found out the vet near us was going to be closed from Friday till Tuesday.. We decided we didn’t want him to suffer the wait, knowing he most likely would not make it till then.. We took him in to an art center and got his paw prints in a mold to hang up on the wall in a few weeks once they finish with it.. Then we walked to the vet and the whole time I held him, I told him how much I loved him, and how I’ll miss him, that when my time comes we would be together again like I promised we would be together forever, how he is and will always be my heart and my #1 boy.. I gave him all my love the few minutes we had left together and when we were finally in the vet room he had tears in his eyes like he knew and he purred the best he could not like he usually does but the best he could and needed his favorite red blanket.. I held him and kissed him and whispered words of love till his heart stopped.. I got Jasper as a gift from my husband 08/03/2011 when I moved from Canada to the USA he died 02/14/2013 and during the two years of his life with me I’ve never had a cat love me so much, or have I loved a cat as much as I did him. He was my heart, my best friend, my love, my son, my world, my everything and losing him has killed me inside I feel so lost with out him and alone.. I miss him so much already and not having him here with me kills me… I’m glad that he is in a better place now and that he won’t suffer anymore.. I just hope he watches over me and becomes my personal angel, and will meet me at those gates when its time for me to go.. I have another cat Sally I just hope she will be okay too with such a loss.. Her and Jasper were only a few months apart so they were you could say pretty much litter mates.. I will one day get another not to replace Jasper but to give to another what left I have to give for him. He was truly special.. I will never stop loving him and each day I will love him more.. He will forever be mama’s boy and little man, I love you bud <3 RIP see you again, but this time forever <3

  216. Ella says:

    My cat suffered from renal failure. We tried every possible treatment. I always believe in fighting for life if there is even a little hope, so this is what I did. Lab diagnostics, ultrasound, neadles, infusions, medicines, painful and stressful vet visits, forced feedings, more neadles. My cat had a hell of her last two months on earth because I believed there is a chance to save her. In my defence, a vet said so – she was only 5 years old and there was reason to hope. But my dear cat died suffering terrible pains and probably even more scared and heartbroken by what we did to her. I don’t think she could understand that the tortures we put her trough were ment to help her. I would never forgive myself if I hadn’t try to save her, but I will also never forgive myself for trying and failing. It hurts not having her around. But it hurts even more to remember all the terrible things the vet and I choose to put her trough, and I hate myself for making the wrong choice. My darling, beautiful and noble friend died not only suffering pain but also what probably looked like betrail and loss of any safety my embrace used to offer.
    She was special. Different. Noble. There will be no other like her.

  217. Laurie says:

    Dear Linda,

    I’m sorry you lost your cat – my heart goes out to you. It’s so sad.

    You can bet that your cat Matilda knew how much you love her! She felt it in every stroke, every morsel of food, every time you called and held her. Cats are smart; they know when they’re loved and cared for.

    In sympathy – may you remember her with joy and peace,

  218. Linda says:

    It has been six months since my sweet Matilda had to be put to sleep. She had cancer (laryngeal) that eventulally metastasized to her left eye. The chemo worked for while, but it stopped and I could not do anything else for her. I still cry every day. She was so sweet and very smart. I hope she knew how much I love(d) her.

  219. Laurie says:

    Dear candy,

    Thank for your suggestions on taking care of a cat! I’m so sorry you lost your kitty cat to renal failure. I didn’t know anything about kidney disease until I read your comment…our cat spends most of her time outside, and I often worry that she is showing signs or symptoms of illness, but we don’t see them because she’s out so much.

    My heart goes out to you as you mourn your cat’s death…my prayer is that you remember her with love, peace, and joy. She is happily rolling in fields of cat nip and nibbling her favorite fish dishes now! She is in a better place, and you will be reunited with her again some day.

    In sympathy,

  220. candy says:

    My beloved cat candy died of renal failure on 16-1-2013, and I am completely devastated, feel like its the end of the world for me.
    she was not even 2 years old, if alive she would have completed her 2 years on 11 march 2013. Its so painful that she died so young.
    we didn’t realize she was not well, she had lost a lot of weight, but she was active. when we took her to vet, he said its too late now, her BUN value was 175 and creatine was 7.0, that means she was in the last stage of renal failure, but we wanted to give our best to her. she was on IV since 11 jan, on 14 jan she got heavy uncontrollable shivers. but she survived, next day our vet told us to keep her in sun instead of hot water bag. we did so, and found she was completely dehydrated, we tried to feed her glucose as much as possible, next day morning between 5:30 and 6:00 am she took her last breath. I had last fed her around 4:40 AM.
    I couldn’t stop blaming myself for not taking her to the vet earlier, or for keeping her in sun for sometime.
    I strongly suggest to all cat owners, don;t rely on the symptoms you cat shows, as in kidney diseases, no symptoms are shown until the kidney is more than 70% damaged. the only way out is keep checking BUN and creatine values every quarter. nothing is more previous than your beloved cat, neither money nor your time.
    I have one more cat, we have planned to get him tested, every quarter.
    I have a strange and strong feeling that my cat candy will come back to me, as she died very young, and we are planning to buy a tabby colored female Kittie, may be next month which is going to be a look alike of candy. In these modern days it is hard to believe in horoscopes and tarot cards, but on 13jan tarot card reading for me was a temporary separation from a loved one, and she stressed on the point temporary, it means my candy is going to come back to me.

  221. jazz says:

    Reading your stories makes me feel a bit better…. My best friend Audley died today. I found her curled up in my mother’s room still warm. I dont really know if ill ever not be sad, i just want to lay in bed for weeks and cry. She was so beautiful and sweet. Slept next to me for fourteen years… today a hole was put in my heart.

  222. andre says:

    January 6,2013
    I had to put my 17 year old cat, striker, down today. He was in pain from something in his abdomen. After two or so days of no eating and no water intake he was very sluggish. So I took him to the vet. They detected a large mass next to the kidneys. Most likely some form of cancer. With him being so week and old, I had only one choice. I sat with him holding him in my arms while the doctor administered the drugs to put him to sleep. I was giving him a head scratch as he passed away with his head resting in my hand. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do.
    I had him since he was only 5 weeks old. He was my best friend, my adopted son…my home feels empty without you Striker.

  223. Laurie says:

    Dear Ralph,

    Thank you for sharing how your cat passed away. I’ve never been with one of my animals when they died, and I think it must be so comforting for them to pass when their beloved owners are there with them.

    Bless you as you mourn your cat’s death; I hope you soon remember her with love and joy instead of sadness and grief.


  224. Ralph DeMattia says:

    About an hour ago (3:30 AM EST 31 Dec) I awoke to find that my precious Miss AbbieKat had passed away beside me. I had had her on my chest, purring softly, only 2 hours before, then I fell asleep and woke to find her gone. I feel as if my heart has been torn out of me. I’ve been crying steadily since she passed. She was a fat, gentle little kittie, who always greeted me with a loud “meow” whenever I went out on the porch where she lived, as she didn’t like, our 5 other cats; all rescues, so we kept her on our back porch with my recliner that had a heating pad on it, and I would spend 3 or 4 hours or more a day, just sitting with her in my lap and stroking her tubbie little self. I feel there will never be anymore good in my life, but having loved kitties for 48 years, I know the pain will pass and she’ll be a cherished memory. I’ll see you at the Rainbow Bridge, Miss Abbiekat; in God’s good time.

  225. Laurie says:

    Dear Naneda,

    I’m sorry you lost your cat. I hope you’re doing well these days, and that you’re able to remember your cat with love and joy, not pain and sadness.

    In sympathy,

  226. Naneda says:

    my cat of 7 years just died few hours ago in my arms. he suffered from a kidney failure and i buried him in our garden afterwards. i couldn’t stop crying and i don’t know how to cope with this grief. i got a big meeting tomorrow and i should have finished my presentation but i cannot concentrate at all.

  227. Laurie says:

    Dear Kelly,

    I’m so sorry about Tiki. That must have been so sad and scary, to have to see your poor cat die and then bury him. I don’t know what’s worse – an unexpected or an expected death – but either way, it’s heartbreaking.

    You’re not alone. So many of us rely on our cats and dogs for companionship, and when the animal passes, we feel like we lost our best friends. Because we have lost our best friends.

    Thank you for sharing your story; I hope you feel welcome to come back anytime, and tell me how you’re doing.


  228. Kelly says:

    I just had to watch my cat die. I called for him to come eat and as he was walking his back legs gave out. He seized up then started panting. He urinated and defecated on himself. He started gasping for breath and died within a few minutes. He wasnt sick. He’d had a hurt paw but that was it. He liked to go outside but had been neutered and vaccinated and was only fed grain free food. My husband is out of town and I couldn’t get any help so I had to bury him myself. Our soil is very rocky so the shovel wouldnt penetrate the earth well. I ended up on my hands and knees, in the dark clawing the wet dirt and stones from the ground. I’m horrible at socializing and Tiki was my very best friend. I wish I wouldn’t have had to go through this all alone. It was scary and sad. I’ll never forget him.

  229. Maggie says:

    My cat Whistle 6 years old died on Saturday 11-24-2012. He was an indoor/outdoor cat mostly indoor he went out everyday for an hour or two. Whistle was very smart, gentle had a delicate way about him, he was my little boy. Vet said that another cat jumped on Whistle and has done sever nerve and spine damage and has also scratched him and he developed a serious bad infection in his both back legs. Whistle had surgery to remove the infection, but it had spread to his heart and my little boy Whistle died. I am lost, heart broken, I feel empty with out him I can’t eat or sleep, I cry all the time. I love and miss my Whistle, it hurts so bad like a knife went threw me words can’t explain. Only if I could get another chance maybe to do something different maybe my Whistle would still be with me. Why God did you take him away from me. My heart is heavy and the pain is so much hurt. So not fair, I am having such a hard time dealing with the loss of my little boy Whistle. RIP Whistle one day I will see you again.

  230. John Thomas says:

    The day after Thanksgiving, our sweet little female cat of 11 years, Karma, passed away at the vet. We had noticed she had become lethargic, weakened and was not eating. Concerned about her behavior, we took her to the vet. She was always feisty with strangers, so she had to be sedated. Within 30 minutes, we received a call from the vet she had stopped breathing when they attempted to take blood from her. Both my girlfriend and I rushed to the vet at which point they had pronounced her death. We held her in a blanket, both crying uncontrollably, giving her several kisses before parting with her. I am still in shock and deeply saddened as I type this. It’s still too fresh and very hard to imagine life without her. She was quirky, had the cutest little face and meow and she was the little star of our household.

  231. Laurie says:

    Dear Cesar,

    That’s awful, that your cat died. It wasn’t your fault – he just lost his balance! But he didn’t suffer.

    I think the only thing that will make your grief (that hollow feeling) go away is time. You’re mourning your cat’s death, and it doesn’t happen overnight. You need to give yourself time to grieve your cat’s death…and one day you will remember Dario with love and peace instead of sadness and grief.

  232. Cesar says:

    Yesterday, my cat, Dario, fell from my window and died. He was a year and a few weeks old and was my little buddy since he was born. I realise a year is not much but it like i have a hole in my chest. He was sweet and never onece pulled his claws on me or the family. Also he loved standing on the window and looking down but i left it open and he somehow fell. When i saw him down at the floor i was crushed. I still wait for him to apper from the kitchen wanting me to go and pet him while he eats.
    Please how do i make this hollow fealing go away? I don´t know why but every time i feel like crying, the tears just don´t come.

  233. Laurie says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your cat’s deaths. It’s incredibly heartbreaking to lose an animal – you’re definitely not alone in your pain.

    Thank you for sharing your stories; may your memories of your cat soon become peaceful and happy.

  234. James says:

    My 8 and half month old Kitten sadly got run over yesterday. I’d had finally “trained” her into sitting on my lap and not biting me as much as she thought i was playing when stroking her, un like her older but much more thick in the head sister Marmalade.

    She was on my lap just 20 minutes before she went out and my neighbour came to the door. I opened it to see that he said one of my cats (we had 3) had gotten ran over. At First i thought it was it was the mum cat “Minky” as the kitten is as big as her but it was only till i found the collar lying in the middle of the road i knew my little Chum Lee was gone forever.

    She was the most adventurous of the kittens and had her own personality. I nicknamed her “Whingie ” as a very little kitten as soon as you picked her up she would meow and hiss. But she had learnt up to about a month and a half ago and purred every time.

    I didn’t think for a second it would effect me as much as it has as Marmalade has always been around me more as she is defiantly a lap cat. But as son as dealing with poor Chummy i burst into tears. Its been the same today (the day after) as i burried her in the garden and have been gathering all the photos and small amount of video’s i have on my iPod and Phone. It doesn’t help Marmalade pinning for her little mate. I just feel that if i handn’t have let her out and gave her a cuddle that night she wouldn’t have crossed the road at the wrong time.

  235. Bees says:

    I was so happy when I brought my little Gabs home from the shelter. He was only 5 months old and such a spirited little guy. Just incredibly sharp, intelligent, and funny. Letting him go outdoors was a big decision, but as a TRUE advocate for animal rights, I could not let him stay locked up all day indoors, torture in the case of any living thing. He always came back, of course. One day, he didn’t. The neighbours came by 3 days later, they found him under the tree, but it was much too late. I remember taking him from there, looking at his face, and burying him in the backyard. He was only 2 years old. But I don’t ever want to feel that pain again, so I will probably never bring another living thing into my life again. Not sure if that’s a bad way to deal with it or just my way to deal with it. All my love to others dealing with the grief of losing a close friend and family member 🙂 xx

  236. Ericka King says:

    In Memory of my dear Lucas, Such a sad week. Lucas was 7 yrs old i rescued him from a basket left out side of work he was approx 3wks old we bottled fed him and helped him to grow. He was a avid outdoor cat the only cat I ever owned in my life that meowed at the slider to go out side to use the bathroom. (my other two cats of 16yrs never did that) Lucas went in and out of the house everyday for the last 7 years he new the area extremely well he ran out this past Sat afternoon as usual sat night he did not come in which is odd very odd, Sunday I prayed and called, Monday i thought oh my hes locked in someones shed or garage Tuesday I went to Staples made posters and hit the neighbor hood as I was doing that I had a gentlemen run out and ask me if I was looking for a grey cat then told me they seen one Sunday on the side of the road and showed me but there was no cat, of course as I was balling my eyes out my phone started getting text from my flyer of several people telling me they seen the cat on the side of the road, my mail lady even called today she found a flyer and seen it. Someone must of took care of it there is no body. He was hit Sat afternoon right after leaving house and how no one in my family saw him on the road we drive daily I have no idea in less God did not want the kids to see comming off school bus. The hurt is so bad but I know I could probably never prevent what happend. The cat was not happy if he could not get out but I dont think I could have an outdoor cat again 7 yrs is way to young!!! We miss him dearly.

  237. tom says:

    Very sad right now. I was not even one hour ago petting my best friend. I’m watching the Broncos/Saints game and notice slowing cars outside my front window. I look out and see my neighbor running to my door. Shocked look on his face, he told me to come outside as he sees my son standing behind me. ” Hey buddy can you let me talk to your daddy?” I know what happens next, something again about my cat in his yard, or something about my aerator he needed to borrow again? I stared waiting for some bs complaint or another favor needed. But no, he looked sad. I then knew what was coming as the thought of the slowing cars passed through my mind again. “Sorry man, I moved him out of the way as to not get squished again. Anything I can do?” I quickly ran to the road hoping not the one, not my best one! To my shock, it was. My best friend ( or best friend as far as a cat go’s. I fought my tears as he walked back home. Finally as he went inside I burst. The cat that did everything he could to get to me, the one who awaited my arrival everyday, the one who meowed as we would kiddingly talk to one another. My best buddy, Kush is dead. I love you little guy and will see you once again. My prayers to you in heaven buddy! Tom

  238. Asiah says:

    Hearing all these stories makes me feel somewhat better. Sharing grief is a good thing. My darling died Saturday morning. She usually goes out for a wee in the morning and comes back on our bed for another sleep. However, she didn’t come back and I had a strange feeling. We have just moved from a place with a huge garden and freedom for her to roam, but our new place is on a very busy street so we didn’t let her out at all. She didn’t like it, as we always saw her staring out to the street through the gate. When we got home saturday afternoon, I saw her lifeless body across the street. She had no eveidence of being hit so I think she went off to die. She died right in front of a monastery. We buried her just on the side of the monastery as they had conveniently had there side verge mulched, and we marked it with two roses. She will be happy there. She;s just across the street:-)

  239. JoAnna says:

    I had to have my 4 1/2 year old “furbaby son,” Gizmo, put down this past Sunday. He had a bad combination of staph infection, Cushing’s disease that literally flared up out of nowhere, and skin fragility syndrome. He had become lethargic and no matter how much he ate, he was constantly trying to take food from other animals and us humans. Even despite all that, he dropped 6 pounds in 2 weeks (he was being checked every two weeks for the abscesses that popped up and curing the staph infection when Cushing’s flared up). Our vet decided it was his time, and we had him euthanized. I couldn’t stop crying for 2-3 days and I barely ate.

    Today and yesterday have been better days, but I still feel the guilt over not being able to take care of him properly (when the abscesses started coming around, he was going to a different vet…when Vet #1 said he “didn’t know” why the abscesses kept recurring or why he was experiencing hair loss, I got a second opinion and am SO happy I did).

    The worst part of it all is we have three other cats that Gizmo was “alpha” to – one of which was Gizmo’s best friend for the eight months they lived together after I moved in with my boyfriend, and another that was his adopted “little sister” for 2 1/2 years. I feel the worst for them. They keep calling out for him at least a couple of times a day, his “little sister” holes herself up in our bedroom for several hours at a time, and his best friend has tried to escape out the front door to look for him at least twice.

    We have Gizmo buried out back under two huge oak trees. We are getting a stone done for him and are planting catnip out there. We buried him in a box the vet gave us to take his body home in and tossed in some food with him.

    I miss my boy, but I know he’s not in pain any more. I just hope the other cats will be OK.

  240. Luca says:

    Tigre, 5 years old, disappeared the 8th of august. As she has gone missing twice already for a long time, i assumed that she would come back. I searched around the building, and even called Animal Search uk . They put up posters and looked for her. On monday (roughly two months after she has gone) i got a phone call, she was found dead few apartments down the hallway in the same building where i live. Through the roof, she must have go in the neighbors apartments while the cleaner was there. When the cleaner left, she must have locked Tigre in. Since then, the apartment was left empty.
    My cat died of starvation and thirst.
    I have been crying my eyes out since three days. She was just 15 meters away from me the whole time. My other cat must have seen her dieing through the shut window in the roof.
    I went to pick up her body and buried her in a friend’s garden.
    I feel horrified and guilty. I loved her so much.

  241. Nina B says:

    I lost my cat Poppy early on Saturday night, she was my baby, I was in bed and my daughter came back from her friends at around 3am and found her lying in the road, she had been hit by a car and left. My daughter rang my mobile but I could hear her screaming downstairs, she told me not to go out, but I just ran down the road screaming “my baby no my baby” her little lifeless body was still warm, I so hope and pray that she died instantly and didn’t know anything. I am devastated, I cant eat or sleep. She is buried in our garden, each night I light candles, sit and tell her how much I love and miss her. The pain is just unbearable. I miss her cuddles, she was so warm and loving, I just can’t believe she is gone.

  242. Adele says:

    Today I had to have my beautiful little friend of 13 years euthanised. Her name was PomPom and She was such a lovely little sun ‘bunny’but because of this she got a carcenoma which eventually took her perfect little pink nose and left her with a nasty black scab, that often bled.I originally selected her from a cat shelter and she was the most adored little friend to my husband and I. She always travelled with us on holiday in the car and used to talk to us and follow us around all the time, we always knew what she wanted and slept every night on our bed with us and often on cold nights in the crook of my arm under our blankets.She stopped eating 10 days ago and as the tumor was affecting her breathing she sneezed endlessly. Her weight dropped so dramatically and the vet told us it was really time now. We are heart broken and havent stopped crying since bringing her home. We have buried her now and it is killing me, I keep going out to her grave and sobbing.I could never replace her with another,she used to comfort me in difficult times,rubbing her head on me.I beleive she was meant to be with me, and know she understood it too. I know she knew she was so loved and cherished, but my heart and house feels so empty without her on my knee.

    • Jeanne says:

      I weep with you, for your PomPom and the distance that seems so real between you. It is real grief because it is real love. And that love will never die.

  243. Laurie says:

    Dear Walt,

    I’m so sorry to hear how your kitty Sprout passed. It sounds like it was a very sad and difficult experience, and you wish you could have done more.

    But you did the best you could! You took Sprout in, loved him, and tried to save his life. You did everything in your power to protect him, but it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t meant to live here on earth with you. I don’t know why, but he was only meant to be here for this short time.

    I hope you’re able to heal from this loss. Give yourself time to mourn and grieve. It’s been a rough time, and you need to be good to yourself right now.

    In sympathy,

  244. Walt says:

    This past Monday, I found a newborn kitten which, after letting some time pass to see if its mother would come, I figured was abandoned. It was cold and raining and my girlfriend and I took him in our home for warmth and whiskas kitten milk as he was wet, really cold, and barely breathing. He was clearly born earlier in the day as his umbilical cord was still attached. We have raised 2 cats which currently live healthy anx happy with us and knea what we needed to do to make this little guy survive. It was late in the evening so we kept him in our home overnight. We kept him warm, fed him and made him go potty every 2 hours and he really came to life! He seemed so healthy. We lost sleeping making sure this little kitten was ok and was getting everything he needed done correctly. We named him Sprout that evening. The following day was great. By wednesday morning he stopped eating and was getting weaker and we rushed him to a pet hospital. He was given glucose and his health still deteriorated. We brought him home and I was up all night right by his little bed we made him with a heating pad to keep him warm. He had trouble breathing. Barely showed any signs of life as he was so weak. He wouldnt eat and finally about 3 AM last night (7 hours after we brought him back home from the pet hospital) my girlfriend and I made that terrible feeling decision. She cried herself back to sleep and I got dressed, drove crying as Sprout laid in his little bed all wrapped up in a blanket to keep warm with a crucifix next to him as i played “On Eagles Wings” on the car’s radio, and took Sprout to the emergency pet clinic to put him to eternal rest as I couldnt stand him suffering anymore. I held him by my heart so he could feel my heartbeat one last time as the previous evening he fell asleep so nicely on my chest. At 3:45AM he was passed and since then (about 21 hours ago) I have yet to stop crying. I cried so hard driving home with his body that I could barely drive 20 mph under the speed limit on the interstate. I feel so horrible, empty, cold, and like I killed that little kitten by putting him down. He never had a chance. He never got to see who we were that took cafe of him. He never got to hear the sounds of our voices. He lived for 3 days and in that time, we fell in love with him so much. There’s a big and dark hole in me and tonight I cant fall asleep knowing I or my gf dont have to get up in an hour or 2 to feed him, burp him, make him go potty, have him go back to sleep on one of our chests so he can feel our heartbeats. Im grieving so bad I feel all alone and feel sick to my stomach. I loveSprout so much. His time with us so so brief but filled our hearts with memories and love. It was very painful burying him today in our flower garden. My gf keeps saying im Sprout’s hero for ending his suffering but I feel like s*** and a killer for ending such a sweet, innocent, helpless kitten’s life. We made plans for everything we were going to do in the coming months and years as we were planning on him being with us and our 2 cats for many many years. And now its all gone. My one cat is trying to help me grieve and feel better as is my gf but I feel myself feeling worse as each hour passes. I cant stop beating myself up for this. Its my fault Sprout isnt here anymore and I cant stop telling him, at his grave, how sorry I am as well saying that to my gf and our 2 cats.

    Rest in eternal peace, Sprout. I miss you so damn much and I love you unconditionally and hope to see you again after my last day. -Walt

  245. heatmiser says:

    I had two cats, probably from the same mother, about 5 years ago. First two years of our lives together was really nice, I had a backyard, they used to go out and come back etc. Then I had to move to another country and my mom took over the responsibility. She did not have a garden, but two cats, Pan and Marla, seemed ok. You know how cats are. Pan started to lose weight, and he lost almost half of its weight in two years…We were not that worried, because he seemed fine. Behaviour-wise. I know that it was a mistake. 3 months ago he started to have a really bad breath. Finally I took him to the vet and after a blood test, we understood he was suffering from Renal Failure. We would be able to give him a chance if we had taken him to the vet one year ago, but now it was too late. Besides, being in this cold room of vet’s really scared him, and he was sedated but conscious, so it must be really scary. Anyway, I took him home, he seemed shaken up…This is the state in which I left him. I had to go again. (abroad)my mother said he was receiving IV and insulin shots and doing better. He even gained 200 grams. But then he started to vomit etc…She took him to another vet and they gave him sub-Qs. But it did not work. He died yesterday. And me, being far from him, the fact that the last thing we share together was a horrible vet experience gives me an incredible sadness. I know and he knew (I hope) he was really loved. He was an intelligent, well mannered and a bit scared of everything cat. He will never be replaced…

  246. Nate says:

    I had a cat named Nixon… he was the last in a litter of 4 kittens needing homes. His Mother was our cat lily and father was a stray named greg, he had three brothers and one sis, all from another litter, and an uncle Saki. He was born with a strange meow, as they days went bye it got worse. One day he started to have cough phases were he would cough loudly for 2 – 3 minutes… and spit green goo. These became usual for him, but we had no vet money at the time. One day hesat on the couch, with his meow coming litteraly every second. I thought he was upset, he didn’t move. I realized his chest was pumping extremly loud, he wasn’t meowing… he was struggling to breath. we rushed him to a clinic with him screaming all the way. It was to late, he couldn’t be save. The vet said he was born with major respitory problems. He was clinging to life. He had to be put down… I layed with him on my lap, they took him as he dug his claws in my jeans to live… And across the hall, he meowed louder than ever, then he never meowed again… He was Nixon, youngest of the litter, not the runt, last of lily’s without any siblings left. He was 8 weeks old and 2 days from 9 he died yesterday afternoon 9-25-12, alone without his mother or anyone he knew to comfort him. he struggled no more. He never saw the backyard, I can only remember the fear in his eyes as I held him… please don’t make the mistakes I did… I have few memories with him, I can’t adopt a cat I have 6 currently, and Time heals no wounds… He was Nixon… and he had a short story… but he was brave…

    My sister wrote him a letter, with an attached picture…

  247. Ric says:

    Sorry Meg, I know that must hurt bad. I to had a cat disappear and I always wonder what happen to her. I like to be optimistic and think someone saw her and took her in thinking she was a stray. Today several years later I watched her sister get run over in front of my eyes. It’s a horrible day, I wish I could’ve done something to stop it. Depressed is the mood I’ll probably be feeling for a while.

  248. Meg says:

    My 4 year old cat went outside on Friday and has not come back since. It has been almost 7 days now. I am SO depressed and can’t quit crying. In my heart I just feel that something happened to him. He was neutered, so there is non reason he should be gone this long. I have put out fliers and looked for him everywhere. I just keep imagining that he is dead in the woods outside my house. I have had other cats and dogs die, but having one run away is horrible, because just don’t know what happened. Were they hungry, thirsty, crying for help? It just kills me not knowing. Obviously, I hope some kind hearted person took him in and that he is lying up on a nice comfy bed somewhere. At the same time, in my gut I just don’t feel that is what happened. I am very depressed. Very depressed. This really sucks. I blame myself for letting him out. But, he was a wild cat and just begged me to go out every day. I could not stand keeping him in and depriving him of the one thing that he was driven to do. I had him for 3 years and we went through a lot together. If he is dead, I just hope it was quick. This just really sucks.

  249. Lorraine DeMello says:

    My cat, Mr.Kitty, who has been part of my family for the past six years died today. I discovered his body this morning at 9:00. He was laying in my neighbor’s backyard… He liked to go there often, but would come home every night. When he didn’t come home for dinner, I had a horrible feeling that something happened to him. I’m completely devistated, and have been crying all day. I was shocked to find him. I didn’t expect it at all. I saw him just the day before and I pet him for several minutes. He seemed fine. I miss him so much.

  250. b. says:

    what am i going to do. i dont know if i have ever been more distraught which is strange because i have lost family members and friends. and a cat when i was 9 and another when i was 12. but this is the worst… my cat is going to be euthanized tomorrow. she is mine and has been my cat since we got her in 1999 when i was 7. now i am 20. and i have a horribly broken heart because this is her last night being alive. i cant stop crying right now. god, i cant believe how hard this is. i think i am never going to get a cat again because i cannot deal with this. can they invent a pet that lives forever, i am hardly kidding….. i guess it is some solace to look here and see that hundreds of you others have been in this very place. even recently i would think “whatever it wont be so hard when she dies”. but god ive never been thru anything harder. i should stop writing now or i never will. but anyone who sees this, just remember youre not alone, many others are going thru the same thing we are. r.i.p. my beautiful cat. i dont believe in god or heaven but ill have to make an exception for this. a virtual hug goes out to all of you… you are not alone

  251. Alex says:

    My beloved little girl cat ruby, died on tuesday 21st august 2012 after being hit by a car just outside my house, i was told that she died instantly by a neighbour and friend, she was only one year old. She was loved by others too as they cried too. Im heartbroken, devasted and cry whenever i think of her. She died half an hour before i got home and i keep thinking that if only id gotten home sooner she would still be with us. I do think she came back to see us, it was the strangest thing, we were away camping and whilst away we went swimming and parked in a large car park with lots of spaces, when we returned a car was parked next to mine with the windows slightly open, i noticed there was a dog inside and turned to tell my mum, my daughter then said “ruby”, to my mum. So we looked into the car and there hanging from the inside mirror was a cat air freshner, the cat was the spitting image of my ruby. the air freshner kept turning and stopping so that the cat was looking at me, it was like she was telling me she is ok, at peace an not in any pain. People tell me it was her time to go. Is this true and do they really come back to let you know they are ok? I miss her so much and she will be in my heart always and forever.

  252. Jackie says:

    My cat Obi died today.. hit by a car right in front of our house. He was only 4 years old and the most relaxed, cuddly, sweet kitty you can imagine. We called him a dog cat.. I have two toddlers, and Obi had loved them since birth.. always laying on his back next to them and letting them squish him without ever scratching. Ugg.. this really hurts in my guts. I hope that my husband and I are able to wipe this grief from our hearts.. we are in the muck of it right now. :*(

  253. Empty :( says:

    My little man mojo died he was 7 and I can’t stop crying. I feel a massive hole in my heart. He dissapeared on sat and I couldn’t find him anywhere I Searched all around the neighborhood and called vets RSPCA the lot.. But nothing. I walked out the back and noticed my dogs comotioning around the side he was there laying on the dirt covered in mud.. I just let out a howle of disbelief I couldn’t contain myself and now all I can see is little lifeless body covered in mud.. I just can’t stop crying. I searched everywhere for him and I have no idea how he passed just that now when I get home he won’t be there to great me.. Or sleep with me (he was my little spoon) my little man my bed feels empty my house feels empty and I miss my baby 🙁 I don’t know how to cope with the pain of my loss he was like a child to me.. I feel guilty because if I just made him go inside that night he would still be here.. He looked peacful he didn’t look attacked so I know it wasn’t the dogs I am not sure what happened to him… I think it could have been easier not finding his body because you could play the “second family” card but I did.. That’s all I can see now… His blue grey fur covered in mud.. I just expected to get home from work and see him sleeping under the tree where he always layed.. I am hurting so much and I can’t stop the pain or tears

  254. BB says:

    My beloved cat, Romeo, 8-years old, was euthanized last weekend. He suddenly came up missing on Thursday evening. We’d thought he’d gotten outside and scoured the neighborhood looking for him. It turned out that he’d been inside all that time, seriously ill and unable to get up and come to me. I found him in the early hours of Saturday morning. He was wheezing, his eyes were dilated, and he wouldn’t eat or drink. We rushed him to the vet. He had pneumonia, apparently a complication of cancer which had started in his abdomen and spread to his lungs. We were shocked as before this, he’d never seemed sick. In fact, Thursday morning, he ate in the kitchen and mooched as he always did, then he curled up beside me on the couch for a nap. I never suspected he was sick, let alone terminally ill. It was quite a shock for me and my family. We miss him so badly. He was my best friend, and I’m grieving for him. I only pray that we’re reunited someday.

  255. Ian Alexander says:

    My old Tomcat Maddison died today, he was 19. He died on the lap of my partner Julie. I tried to revive him but he was gone, right now I feel a pain that I can’t describe and my house is so empty.
    He was a rescued cat and a big old fella. If humans could be as loyal then the world would be a far better place.
    If you have never loved an animal then a part of your soul will remain untouched.


  256. Savanna says:

    I had to put my cat down today after finding out she had feline Lukemia and I didnt want her to suffer any longer. She was not even 1 1/2 years old. I have been crying all day and grief I feel is hard. I didnt realize how quickly the infection had spread and like that she was gone. I dont think another cat will ever replace my little Persia.

  257. G says:

    My wife and I became “empty nesters” in 1995 when our daughter left for university. While she was there, she took in a cat in the shelter. When her work took her overseas for a year, after graduation (1999), we took him into our house.

    He and I bonded. He was my pal. I had other cats before, while I was growing up, but never a buddy like this fellow.

    Last December, he became seriously ill, and I was hoping for recovery but it didn’t happen and we had to say goodbye. It wasn’t unexpected; I knew the day would come sometime soon. We were still hit with grief.

    The saddest thing was – on his last two days — he was in and out of a semi-concious state. But when he was alert – he was actively trying to comfort me.

    On the last morning, he came over to me, but didn’t have the strength to get up on my lap. I picked him up. He looked up at me, hugged me, then went limp. I held him on my lap for awhile, and told him “if you want to go be with God, if He’s calling you, you can go.” I put him down, he barely limped over to a spot under the table. An hour later it was time to keep an appointment with the vet, we did.

    He was comatose — I couldn’t stay in the room when it was time, and
    so I said my last goodbye — we had already said it that morning. I cried for three hours.

    The saddest thing – after it was over, I needed solace, but he wasn’t here to provide it. Will I get another cat? We have another one, but I don’t think I’ll ever have another one like him, so, no.

  258. Sarah says:

    Candy my sweet tabby of 16 years died last night. I received her as a birthday present from my mom when I was 13. She was the most intuitive, sweet natured cat I’ve ever known. Each night she would sleep next to my shoulder and purr throughout the night. I’m not sure what to do now without her; I’ve have so many more memories with her, than without.
    She passed away, in my arms, too weak to move. I will never forget the love she gave or the trust she shown. I miss you and love you so much, my Sweet Girl!

  259. Mary Bhim-Rao Serafin says:

    One day a thin kittenish looking cat appeared at my door. I gave her some food but didn’t want her inside as I already had 2 cats. She returned every day and on the 3rd proudly walked in through an open door completely ignoring Sniffles, who let out a hiss from the comfort of her bed and then past Pal, lounging on the sofa, baring his teeth. She had come home, no questions asked.
    A couple of days later I took her to the vet to get her fixed, only to be told she already was and that this kitty looking cat was indeed 6 years old.
    So Shanti (Peace), entered our lives on her terms – bringing with her , her personality, her friendship and joy. From day one she was feisty and a very social feline. She loved to be amongst people and if a conversation was going on, she was there in the midst of it. She followed me around the house and lay in the shade of a bush as I gardened all summer. Whilst I shoveled snow, she checked out the depth of it and then with cold paws retreated to the warmth of the home, she loved.
    Shanti was also rather demanding of Pal, her fellow house cat, for she wanted her food as well as his – she thought nothing of whacking him with her paw. He was way stronger than she, and could easily have exerted his strength, but Shanti got her way. She didn’t want him up in the loft, Pal stayed downstairs. Respect amongst fellow cats.
    She survived both the Hayman and Waldo fire, but not the passing of time. We spent 10 years together.
    Shanti has moved on – I will miss her dearly.
    She was indeed a Cool Colorado Cat.

  260. susan says:

    my cat ruby 4 years old got hit by a car this morning he always goes out early and comes back 2 or 3 hours later to see me.when i saw him death i was heartbroken i was crying and crying.i have ruby when he was born. in malaysia and he came back to england with us.6 monghs i know how hard it is to cope after his death.but i want to remember him when he was so happy with me.

  261. Andrea says:

    I had to let go of my baby Tiger after 18 1/2 years yesterday. It was the hardest decision I have ever made. He stuck by my side all these years thru happiness, heartache and pain. I wouldn’t have gotten through any of those things without him. I never thought it would hurt this bad. I take comfort in knowing I didn’t let him suffer and gave him the best care I could. I will see him again one day.

  262. Paul says:

    My cat was killed recently ..I feel like someone has ripped out my heart and threw it away,,
    My life has not been an easy one,My parents where extremely abusive ,Who showed voilence not love – Experiencing the sorts of things no child should have to endure..So i was orphaned out , i grew up battleing self worth issues ect,Thankfully i was smart enough not attempt to surpress my inner pain through self medicating,
    Despite all this i managed to make a basically normal life for myself-
    I found in Childhood i loved critters and they loved me even the wild ones,,I guess they where the only creatures i felt safe with at that time ,
    I never view myself as owning anything, a animal or person for that matter -We travel this journey called life together for a time ,,That belief makes you respect all forms of life ,,
    The day my Father died recently i was walking down a tree lined road near my house,Crying and thinking if he only healed his own heart things might of been abit better for all ..
    I saw a black spot on the road from a distance,,Somehow i knew ,,my beautiful friend was gone ,,He wasn,t in the House he somehow got through the tiny bath room window while i was at work ,,
    I came upon him,He was in pieces,crying i collected him up and made it back home and buried him..I howled into a towel while cleaning myself up untill i was horse..I still cannot look at his photo ,,I guess it takes time…I am not angry with who hit him,Just heart broken..

  263. Ann says:

    My beloved cat, Chewy, died one year ago last Saturday. Am I still grieving? Yes. I don’t know when I will be over him, but I know it still hurts. Sometimes I feel like I must be crazy or something to be still crying one year later. I have decided not to get another cat because I didn’t realize I was so allergic to cats. I am very sad about that. I do feel that now I can get another cat. For a long time, I felt like I was trying to replace Chew. I could never do that. He was a part of my family and I love and missed him still today as much as I did a year ago. I am very happy for the 12 years we had together. He was a sweet and wonderful cat. So to you Chew, my beloved cat, I will always love and miss you.

  264. chuck gates says:

    5/30/12 i had to bury Bandit, my true best friend,he got run over and killed in front of the house during the night. I feel so guilty,sad,lost,heartbroken. Bandit loved prowling during the night,and i gave him that freedom. We moved to a diffrent house 9/9/11 with 3 acers in the backyard and a busy street in front, i had hoped would do his thing in the backyard. I was told his mom&dad were feral cats.10 years ago i heard a meeoow at my front door and there was a handsom solid long hair black cat about 3 months old. Let him in gave him some ham& water. A person at my house took him home with her. A week later i heard the same meeoow at front door and there was the same cat. I knew he had adopted me to take care of him. Got the shots and neuter. A few days later he was sick,parisite in his blood he had a 10% chance,but with meds % very good care from me he made it. I found out he was somebody else cat who lived 8 mobilehomes down but he never went back to them. bandit knew who was taking care of him. He was the greatest.Bandit-4/15/02-5/30/12.

  265. Donna says:

    I lost my beautiful male cat 7th June from heart disease he was only 3 and was playing with his bro the day before. His end was painfull and really traumatic. He was diagnosed in Feb after a sudden collapse. And in this short amount of time he is gone. I still have his bro and they were both strictly indoor cats. I don’t want to sound mean to anyone but PLEASE PLEASE do not let cats roam outdoors. Any good vet would not reccommend this to any cat owner. My neighbor came out of her house one day and seen her cat get run over right in front of her. There are far too many dangers in this day and age now for cats to be outdoors and way way too much traffic. Please no cat flaps and keep kitty inside.

  266. TMo says:

    I found my cat that I have had for14 years dead on last evening. I was devastating. I cant stop crying. I knew it would be hard if something happend to her. But I had no idea it would hurt this much. Sassy grew up with my oldest daughter who is 17 now. What are we going to do without our Sassy Cat? The Lord heal all wounds in time. Love you always Sassy.

  267. Rachel says:

    I had to put my 8 month old kitty Mistic to sleep today.. And It was the Hardest thing I have ever had to do..I am so heart broken, Even Know I have several other animals,,,I still hurt…He was the only one who would cuddle up to me and demand attention… Poor Baby got hit by a car and broke his Pelvic and legs…I didnt want him to suffer with the pain and never being the same…I love him and Miss him!!!!! How long does this hurt last????? I never had to put a family member to sleep before>>>.

  268. Rachel says:

    pets will come and go…yes its sad… but honestly,its a part of life.if you love something let it go,if it loves you, it will come back someday.just remember,……,joy,and happiness for our 4 leg companions is like a fragile rose,……sometimes it blossoms…sometimes it breaks,….and sometimes it dies.

  269. Steve says:

    One our cats, Frasier, passed away a month ago. He was almost 14 years old and was adopted along with his brother Niles by us at 10 weeks old. He passed away snuggling with us on the couch as he did every night. We decided to have him created and place his ashes in a nice wood photo cube. I still think about him everyday. Let yourself grieve. For me at first it was lots of tears. Now it’s tears here and there and more smiles about all the great years with him. If you have other pets, give them attention and time to grieve as well. Niles, our other cat has always been vocal, but now a lot more. We know he misses his buddy. My thoughts go out to others that recently lost a beloved pet.

  270. chrizanne says:

    I am heart broken!!! My beautiful black and white kitten left me alone in this world! She died yesterday and I don’t know how to cope with it. She was the most amazing 2month old baby cat! I can’t stop crying. Our dogs atacked her and 5hours after the atack she died! I mis Bella so much. Feel so alone!!! :,(

  271. Katherine Clark says:

    I’m having a hard time coping. My little baby boy, barely a year old, was ran over on Tuesday. The hardest thing was that I saw him get ran over, and watched him slowly die. It took me several months to find him and adopt him. He was my first kitten out of my parents home. He was a super spoiled orange tabby. His name was Cash. We called him Cash Kitty, Cash Money, Cashepoo…you name it. I don’t like to dwell on, and have others around me upset, but he was my baby, my best friend and we had a deep special bond. We even “talked” to each other. I would talk to him and he would just meow back..and it breaks my heart that he had to suffer the way he did. I guess I just need someone to tell me that I’m grieving normally, I”m not crazy…and that everything is going to be okay. I can’t tell you how many offers I have gotten for a new kitty, or how many people have called to tell me they are sorry for my loss. I would post so many pictures and videos of him on Facebook to share with my friends and family so in a way I’m honored that so many people loved my baby has much as I did, and still do. I just wish he never got curious for the outdoors and was never ran over. I feel guilty. I’m angry at the person that hit him, even though it was just a freak accident. I’m sad that my uber best friend is gone, and I’m heart broken I’ll never hear him meow again. 🙁

    • Rosalie says:

      Katherine, I’m so sorry to hear about losing Cash. Running outdoors always comes with risks. I’m sure you were very close to Cash. When you are hit by a shock like you have described it is easy to feel guilt, anger, sorrow, crazy all bunched in together. You are allowed to feel angry, let down, sad and miss him, it is part of being human. You will feel like this for a bit of time and eventually you will feel better. Do what you must, that is how so many of us ended up here at this website, looking for people to share our innermost feelings with and to find answers to the craziness.

      I believe God the creator can re-create Cash in heaven and there he can run and not get hit.

      Take one day at a time and don’t be too hard on yourself.

  272. k says:

    One of my cat’s just died about 7 hours ago. She had heart trouble and was on meds and doing very well. The vet believes she must have suffered a heart attack she could not recover from. They saw her last week and were in disbelief that she was so well then and died today despite their best efforts.

    I put my feelings on paper and will bury them with her. I will always love her and will miss her.

  273. Linda says:

    The vet came to the house on December 16, and she diagonosed diabetes. Potiron (French for Pumpkin) had been operated for skin cancer in July, and he would have been upset, terrified by more treatment. I had promised to never take him to the vet again, and this vet makes housecalls – Bless her. Dear Potiron, I hope you are alright. I miss you so much. We had 13 years together, and I am grateful for each second, each game, each cuddle, your bright curiosity, your irrepressible will, and even when you would make me mad when you would trip me as I walked by. Such a big personality in such a small cat! Mon Petit Ours, my Little Bear, my Mr Brown, mon Ti-Ours-Ti-Ours..Best cat ever (bilingual, too!) My favourite reading companion. Am reading Charles Dickens’s biography, and feel your absence. I hope you had a happy life (even if it was in a Montreal apartment – you had the full run of the place). I hope you are alright now. Thank you, my friend. I loved – still love – my brave, wee laddie boy.

    • Rosalie says:

      I believe your blessed Potiron receives your message of love, Linda. May God’s peace comfort you through this difficult time.

  274. arlene mcallister says:

    We lost our neighborhood cat today Sheila. Her heart was giving out and she couldn’t breath to good. My neighbor decided she was not going to have a good quality of life so she made the decision to put her down. My heart is breaking cause I kind of always looked out for her when she was out side. I will miss calling to her and watching her chase the birds (she never got one that i saw) …. I pray she’s up with the little kids in heaven keeping them company now. Such a good cat. I will miss you Sheila. You will always be part of my life too.

  275. Rosalie says:

    Meng, we grieve with you. It is helpful to remember all the wonderful things about your cat and share it or write it down. Of course you will miss him. May God give you comfort.

  276. Rosalie says:

    Ludy, it’s not crazy to grieve the loss of your pet. I have lost cats in the past. One lived 18 full years so that meant she’d gone through a lot of my life with me. The one before her was my favourite and that was painful too. Now I have a bit of extended time as my present cat appears to have lukemia and we don’t know how long the drugs will be effective. For now she is up and about and like her old self to which I’m thankful.

    Ludy, you might want to write Koshana a letter or write a story about all the things you remember. I know that helped me. With one cat I went and laid a rose in a special place and with the other in the spring I planted wild flowers in her memory. I know the pain subsided a bit after a couple of weeks bit by bit. We owe it to our pet to grieve, but then we must go on. It is good for you to recognize you aren’t ready for another cat. What you may find is that visiting another cat eventually will help you recover. Somehow it reconnects you with your previous pet. It gives you a way to express the love you have building up in side you. At least I found that helpful–eventually to just pet other people’s cats or at the pet shop eventually. You will grieve your own way and that’s okay.

  277. Ludy says:

    Thank you Rosalie for your kind words towards Koshana. I wish to all the God’s comfort for your pet’s losses.
    The lady from the church offered one of her kittens to me today, seing my red eyes, she has found out about Koshana’s sad fate. I couldn’t take new cat yet, and probably wouldn’t in the future: the pain of loosing Koshana is intolerable. There is no day goes by that I wouldn’t look at the toys, her plates and even litter box is still here. Call me silly: I think I’ve heard quite vividly Koshanas voice at midnight. She loved to meow loud during night times. That is quite in Persian’s nature: they sleep a lot during day time, and become active and in “hunting mode” late evenings and nights. just 2 years ago one of my co-workers had mentioned the huge impact her cat Minkus death had on her, even more than the loss of her own father due cancer. At the time I thought it was insane (her feelings about lost Minkus), I even told her to go through therapy, which she did already.
    Now, I can totally understand what she was going through. Cat is like a baby to us, the bundle of cuteness, joy and loyalty. Many say cats unlike dogs are never truly loyal, it so not true. I was honored to be adopted by Koshana , she could always play and acknowledge all of my friends and family, at the end of a day she truly was always running to me, with many of her sweet purr and affectionate meows, seeking comfort on my lap.

    You are always in my heart , loveliest sweet Koshana.

  278. Meng Love says:

    i just lost my beloved cat, Ah Meng just now… I am very sad.. he was fine earlier before i went to work.. he woke me up and kissed me and fell sleepy while waiting for me to wake up.. i never thought that was his last moments with me..when i came back from work, i found he slept in front of the gate in a very hot day and i felt something is terribly wrong.. when i touched him, he was gone.. i cried out loud until i didnt switch off the car engine and went into the house crying… both my mum n brother saw my cat slept there earlier but didnt bother to look and pick him..

    he will always be in my heart.. he always wait and look from outside of the windows to get into the house.. i’ll miss that moment..i’ll miss his kiss.. his hugs… i miss sleeping with him… his warm body n his fur always gets me a sinus but i dont care that…

    im thankful to God that Ahmeng has a daughter that look exactly n has same character like him.. i promise to take care of his only baby girl…

    we burried him at the backyard and i wrapped him with 1 of my clothes..
    now that i feel so lonely and pain… 🙁

    Ah Meng, i pray to God that we will meet in heaven.. i love you n miss you…
    RIP baby boy… :'(

  279. Ludy says:

    My the most beautiful with superstar looks snow-white Persian cat Koshana of 16 years was put down today. She was also great character, with big golden eyes, gentle, with sweetest purr and the meowing sounds like the gentlest music to anyone who’s heard Koshana. I could never imagine this horrible pain I would feel (she was my first pet and so much beloved)and tears non-stop running for my Queen of a cat Koshana. Nothing could be done to save her: hear health went down-hill after tumor removal back in July. At first she felt good, than in the last 3 weeks suddenly stopped eating, has lost so much weight. I tried to prolong her life with interveine liquid food feeding, it was difficult painful process without much of improvement. Till vet said it is time to let Koshana go.
    I’ll see you my sweet girl at the rainbow 🙁

    • Rosalie says:

      Sorry to hear about Koshana’s passing. I’m sure she brought so many wonderful times to your home. You did all you can and that’s all one can ask. May God give you peace and comfort.

  280. Melissa says:

    Abby: Your brother needs professional help and I hope your parents are getting him the help he desperately needs.

  281. Abby says:

    I’m kinda young, but I wanna tell the story of my beautiful little girl kitten. I still cry about it today, even right now… My mom brought her home from the vet. She was the nicest kitten I’ve ever met. She would purr on my lap and never bit or scratched anyone. My brother who was 6 never liked it because the cat scratched it on accident. The cat’s name was Oreo… and on the worst night of my life… the cat got killed by my brother. I’ve always missed it so much, I’m probably gonna burst into tears… She died a gruesome death, and I never got to say goodbye. I feel guilty because I let my brother take the cat into my parents room. I hate myself for it… The cat I got now is a mean biting and scratching boy cat. I understand the pain anyone here has.

  282. Rosalie says:

    Sorry for your loss Christine. We are crying with you. We were in a similar predicament this Christmas/New Years.

  283. Rosalie says:

    We just got back from the vet. Misty has been hiding, losing weight and not eating. It was so hard to have this happen over Christmas when we couldn’t get into a vet, plus I’ve been very sick with a flue. So today was a long day as we waited until a 6 pm appt. now that the vet is back to work.

    The vet thinks she has quite a large tumour in the stomach area and has internal bleeding. A blood test is being done, but it doesn’t look good. The vet doesnt think she’s in pain, just feeling blah like I did with the flu–wanting to be alone (especially away from our dog).

    So hard. She was one of the prettiest cats I’ve ever had. She is only 11.

  284. Christina says:

    I have been reading all of your stories through crocodile tears. I can understand the pain of losing a cat, a member of the family, a companian. I am sorry for everyone’s losses, and cried reading each and every story on here. I am struggling with the death of Mya, the most soft-heartest, kindest, and beautiful cat I have had the pleasure of owning. We believe she died on New Year’s Day 2012 and my guilt is eating away at me. In 2003 I went to a pet store to look at adoptable cats with my then boyfriend. We looked around and were about to leave when he said hey…what about this one? She looked like a boy cat and I wanted a girl so I said no way I want a girl. We found out it WAS a girl and she was an abused, sick, two year old beautiful half siamese half unknown cat with the most beautiful blue eyes. From that day forward I grew to love her so much. She was gentle, she loved everyone and everything, she had a meow that melted peoples hearts, and she caused no problems ever. She was about 11 years old and I moved out and took my other cat with me. I left Mya with my mom and dad because they loved her so much and asked me to leave her there. I went to visit as often as I could – and Mya always ran to me and we played and it was so wonderful. People who don’t like cats fell in love with her. We noticed she started to get thinner but waited. Then on Christmas Day I went home and she was skin and bones. I thought she wasn’t eating so I went out and bought her favorite food. She ate all of it so I told my mom to feed her that food every day and get her fat again. On New Year’s Eve, I called to check on her and my mom said she wasn’t eating anymore and was so weak. We decided to bring her to the vet on Monday – the closest emergency vet was an hour away. Well, I called my mom on Sunday to check up again and she said Mya had gone and never came back. I cried and cried and cried instead of going there to help find her because I KNEW that if I saw her suffering it would kill me. We never found her and I know she passed away. She never stayed gone long at all. I am heartbroken because I didn’t go see her when she was stil here. I took for granted time….I thought we had more and the vet would help. I have cried nonstop for three days now. I lost one of the greatest animals ever. Her beautiful blue eyes, the way she waited for me after work and greeted me at my car door, the way she patted my head with her paw when she wanted more attention. I am sooo grateful I had 11 years with her but this is the hardest thing I have ever been through. I dreamed about her last night and it made me feel better. I took the day off from work to cry cry cry and it hasn’t stopped. I take with me the fact that we loved her so very much and she had a good life. I will never ever forget my princes Mya and I know she will be in everyone’s hearts she touched forever. See you on the rainbow bridge my love.

  285. katie says:

    Thanks to everyone who has shared their stories. I lost my Sidney today. She was a 10 year old calico. She was very loving and gave me her unconditional love when I was in a depression a year and a half ago over my parents divorce. We rescued her from an adoption clinic after falling in love with her when we had no intention of getting a pet. I’ve been at college for the last year and a half but have been home for break. I knew she was going to pass but I was hoping not this soon. She had been hiding under a bed and not really eating or drinking lately. She spent most of her last day out in the family room with us. She had been resting under the dining room table but around 4pm today I mentioned to my boyfriend that she hadn’t moved much today. I went to use the restroom and I came out and he told me the bad news. I have twin brothers who are 11 and thankfully we were able to keep their last memory of her as alive. I have had many cats in my life but I think we had her the longest. I keep expecting her to come lay on me as I lay in bed but I have yet to fully process she is gone forever now. She was a very dear family member that will be missed.

  286. Melissa says:

    My best friend Moses, my 14 yo cat, passed away this morning. It was a privilege to have him as a wonderful pet for 12 years.

    I was one of the victims of the Great Recession, losing my job, going back to school for another degree, and now working two low paying jobs. With that went losing everything material, social, and self-esteem, but I had Moses and he got me through it. Every night, I would thank him for being a great friend and that I loved him. I was unable to afford vet care, but I did my best for him and I think he knew it. When his colon and stomach began failing, I tried everything I could do to save him the past week and a half. It’s so hard it being New Years Eve and having this happen. It’s so painful.

    I kept coming back to this site today, trying to think of words to describe what he meant to me, but I just cannot express it. Tonight, I will stay in and raise a toast to such a great loving friend, who is now at peace.

    Danielle: Your cat was not angry with you. You acted out of love for him. My cat died in the same manner. We loved our pets and did the best we could for them and for all of the right reasons. It’s all anybody could ask of you and you rose to the occasion.

    Laurie- Thank for your blog post. It really helped reading it today.

  287. Wynter Erickson says:

    No one has to reply to this..but it would be nice to get it out.. I had my cat Bubbas since he was a kitten, 4-5 years.. I was living with my mom and we had four cats at the time in a two bedroom apartment so I was not excited about our new addition. After he was able to walk and whatnot he started wandering around the house and found his way into my room. I remember squinting his direction but told him he could stay for only a little while and then he would be kicked out. he found one of my socks and we started playing, and then began a relationship I can never replace. After that day, he slept with me every night and rushed into my room whenever I got home. I have moved twice and Bubbas has stayed with me during both moves as my panther and a little piece of the home I grew up in. Today after work and an oil change, I drove to my house and on the sidewalk I saw Bubbas lying on the sidewalk across from our house and in front of our neighbors. I knew something was wrong because he never lies there and he didn’t even stir from the sound of my car. I believe the recycling trash can is still knocked down from my rush of parking. I hurried out of my car to Bubbas and he was just lying there..eyes half open..a puddle of blood from his mouth.. my heart started beating so fast and hard I could feel it in my ears and thought I might faint from an anxiety attack. I said his name a few times just to make sure, and touched his ear..but it was stiff and didn’t flop in the slightest.. my cousins put him in a trash bag very nicely and placed him on the side of the house until I can bury him tomorrow. I wanted to pet him and tell him it would be ok and feel him nuzzle up to my hand. I went to the side of the house and looked at him, and the hardest part was tying up that big black plastic bag that had my cat in it.. Looking at some pictures helps surprisingly, but I will always miss and never forget my little panther, my handsome boy, my kitten.

  288. Jim says:

    I just lost my Torty kitty this Christmas. Her name was Princes PP and she had been ill for several months. She always wanted to go out and the last I seen her she stared in the window and left. I found her a few days ago…Im a grown man and im a basket case. I talked to her and wanted to find her and I believe she led me to her body so I can have closure. She was less than a year old and was a shelter kitty. I love her so much and was glad to find her and it looks like she just laid down and went to the next world. She was buried with her favorite blanket and kitty treats……take care

  289. Kaela says:

    I’ve had my adorable, loving orange cat Tommy for nearly 15 years, and I have to put him to sleep in the morning. I’ve been away at school for most of the past year, and never really saw how sick he was getting. No matter what he was feeling, it just never mattered to him as much as getting a good cuddle from anyone with a hand or foot to spare. Today he just couldn’t catch his breath, we rushed him to the vet and his lungs were almost being crushed by how much fluid was surrounding them. It’s probably cancer, but it could be heart disease. Either way, the vet said my Tommy is dying. He tapped enough fluid for him to breathe normally so we could have the night to say goodbye. How could I have missed how sick he must have been feeling? My poor baby just never complained… I feel so guilty for not getting him checked sooner; I just wasn’t around.

    I grew up with Tommy, we got him when he was a tiny kitten, and I was 6 years old. He’s been my friend and companion (along with 5 other cats) for most of my life, and I’m going to miss him so much. He endured me and my sister’s childhood, and the gradual adoption of 5 cats over the years. He’s been such a good boy, and I’m so grateful for the time we’ve had as friends. I know I probably could have done something to help him sooner, and that it’s too late, but I have so many good memories with Tommy, and I’m glad painful surgeries and treatments weren’t a part of our time together.

    All that’s left is to say goodbye, I hope he won’t be scared.

    • Asil says:

      There may not have been anything you could have done. My 5 1/2 year old Mr. Poke showed no signs of heart disease until it was too late. He had fluid build-up in his lungs and couldn’t breathe right. He had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, which is heart disease where the heart muscle thickens over time until there is fluid build-up in the lungs. It’s much like what happens when seemingly healthy basketball players just drop dead. Later, we find out that they had some undetected heart condition. Mr. Poke probably had it from birth but it didn’t manifest itself until he was 5. He lived a very loving, active short life. The only consolation was that he did not suffer.

      I loved him dearly but I got a kitten to help with the pain, and it’s working. I will always have a place in my heart for Mr. Poke, but I have opened my heart to my new kitten Baird (or Bairdy as I affectionately call him). He is most definitely helping me heal.

  290. Deb says:

    I lost my Mittens on December 26, 2011. I had her since she was a kitten almost 17 years ago. She was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism nearly 7 years ago and I had her on Tapazole. She had chronic vomiting for more than a year and the Vet was unable to determine what was the cause. I had last been to the vet at the end of November. Mittens had stopped eating. The only way I could get her to drink was to place a crystal bowl on top of the coffee table. I tried all kind of wet food.

    When I was at the Vet in September she was dehydrated and so she was rehydrated by the vet. I took her home and after several weeks, found a wet food that she would eat. I gave her Pepcid AC once a day as per my vet. In November, we went back, because mittens stopped eating again. Gratefully she was not dehydrated (I guess the bowl on the coffee table was the trick). However, she was down to 3.25 kgs. She was still vomiting and I increased the Pepcid AC to twice a day. However,since then I was able to increase her weight and got her to eat and drink. The vomiting decreased so I really thought it was gastric reflux. She ate a half can of wet food twice a day and dry food. All her blood work was normal.

    I took my kids away for 1 1/2 days on Christmas vacation. We were delayed by 12 hours because of a snow storm. When I got home, we found our Mittens on the floor not far from her litter box. She had drank 1/2 of one the two bowls of water and had eaten some of her dry food. But she was laying down, barely breathing and severely dehydrated. I had often left her for this amount of time and she was always fine, but not this time.

    I feel so guilty that she became so sick and was alone. I had always done everything to keep her well, but I let her down. We ran to the emergency hospital but it was too late. Her pupils were fixed and she had neurological damage. The vet at the hospital told us that she either had a seizure or a stroke. I had to put down my princess after fighting for her life for months. The only relief I have is that she was in my arms when they put her to sleep, something I was never ready to do.

    It has been two days and I find it very difficult. Mittens was an important part of my life. In the last few months, she was never more than a few feet from me. When she became confused in the night, she would cry so I moved to the couch for almost a year to sleep so she would not be alone.

    I miss my beautiful four legged friend. I can’t seem to find out what happened and why she had to suffer alone. I made sure she was never in pain and this time, I was not there for her. This is what really hurts. My friends tell me that I went above and beyond for her, but she was worth every single penny and time that I spent on her.

    I want to say I am so sorry Mittens and I miss you so much. One day we will meet on rainbow bridge. Be nice to Snowball and don’t let her push you around. Hope you have all the catnip that you want. Run in the grass, lie in the sun. Goodbye my beautiful Mitten.

  291. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Danielle,

    I am so sorry to hear how your cat passed away, and how terrible you feel. There’s nothing I can say to take the pain away or make you feel better – but please know that you made the best decision you could. It’s easy to look back and wish you’d done things differently, but you have to keep telling yourself that you did what you thought was best. You didn’t want to cause your cat pain, and if you’d known how it would’ve turned out, you would’ve done things differently.

    Please try to forgive yourself. Take a deep breath, and remember the best parts of your cat’s life. The few horrible moments of death are not how you want to remember your cat – or how your cat wants to be remembered!

    Believe there is a kitty heaven, where your cat is sunning herself, rolling in fields of catnip, and chasing mice to her heart’s content.

    Blessings and sympathies,

  292. Danielle says:

    My cat passed away on Christmas day(2011) & it’s only been a day and ifeel terrible for how he died. I feel guilty like it’s my fault he died…. He wasn’t even that old he was about 5 yes old in human years. I’m going to tell you his story…. He was perfectly healthy nothing was wrong , happy little cat as can be. But he started acting weird his tail was down between his legs and his fur was fluffy and out and he was making ugly crying noises, so we took him to the vet to see what was wrong. They said he had a blockeage in urthea(were he pees) so his bladder was expanding caus it was full of pee. He couldn’t pee and he tryed and it was just blood on his peepee. They doctor said it was best if we give him surgery. But we were scared how much it was going to be so we were going to just put him down(that’s not what I wanted) I wanted to help him before we put him down. So they did the surgery and they said he should be ok. Wasn’t 100% but he should be ok. We brought him home and he wasn’t eating /: it was like he gave up. Well 6 days later he died… The way he died…. I just… I’ll never forgot it </3 he was in my arms. Twitching & making ugly faces… I cryed holding him blaming myself because if we put him down he wouldn't have suffered… & it's my fault :'c I love him <3 he was my boy my baby <3… I cry all day long… The look in his eyes were terrifying….. I feel like he hated me for tryin…. Idk how to deal with this can someone help? I'm making my self sick…..

  293. vicky says:

    My cat Sophie died back in July of this year, but even till now, Christmas Eve, I still grieve so much over his death and the fact I won’t be spending this Christmas with him.

    Sophie was a boy, although at first we believed he was a girl, we only discovered he was actually a boy when we had him neutered, but we kept the name anyway.

    I got him when I was 8, and from the moment I saw him, I fell in love with him, he was my everything, 13 years he spent with me. One thing non-cat owners will NEVER understand is that bond you create with a cat, Sophie truly felt like my little baby.

    He was 13 when he died, I am now 21. Early July I noticed some changes, he wasn’t sleeping in his normal spot, instead he would hide all day. His fur changed, I believe it’s when they fail to clean themselves properly, but the biggest change was I noticed he couldn’t go to the toilet properly.

    So I took him to the vets and on the 5th of July, the vet made a discovery of a large tumour in his rectum, which was blocking his movements. Most bereaving cat owners will know the pain I felt at that moment. I took him home, he was to have an xray and possibly surgery to remove it (if the tumour was small enough).

    The following day I spent at home with Sophie, that night I took a video of him.. it was the last night I had with him. The next morning, I picked him up, gave him a cuddle, and took him to the vets. We discovered my worst fear, he had a forest of tumours in his intestines and had to be put down.

    We buried him in our back garden, next to Licorice, his friend, who was 22 and died last year in September, also of a tumour. As my dad dug his grave, I sat on the grass holding him, it was raining down on us.

    I buried him with a letter I wrote, telling him how much I loved him.

    Can’t.. even begin to explain the pain, even now. I loved him so much.

    Rest in peace my beautiful baby.

  294. Nickie says:

    In May I got a little kitten that I named “Sassy” and her name fit her well, I sadly had to put Sassy down yesterday. She had been very ill and I had kept taking her to the Vet and getting her treated. I was out of town yesterday and my boyfriend called and said she was not doing good. I rushed home and took her back into the vet. Blood tests revealed that she had kidney failure, she was so frail and weak. She couldnt even eat or drink anything, I had been feeding her thru a medicine dropper. I decided that it would be selfish to put my Sassy Girl thru painful scary treatments. So I decided to let her go…this was the hardest thing I have ever done. She was the other half of me, we were best friends. Everywhere I went she was…I only got to have her for a few months but those months were great…I am so glad she is not suffering anymore, but I sure do miss my lil girl 🙁

  295. kye says:

    my beautiful cat mia died yesterday and i miss her so much already this is so hard for me and i just cannot stop crying i have her mum her name is precious but mia was so sweet and i miss her own little ways and her personality
    i had this cat from when my precious was pregnant all the way till now she was 5 1/2 yrs old
    when she was born precious was tryin to give birth to her on my lap mia was precious only kitten so i knew i had to keep her she was just so beautiful and cute she had big blue eyes and was a gorgeous tortie.
    my little mia had some problems she had a hole in her heart and her spine was bent following into her tail causing it to be short and bent and she just couldnt manage to latch on to precious so i would wake every hour through the nite to help her feed precious was such a good mum to her even to now before she died.
    her and prech were so close they would always curl up together and wash each others ears they were just so lovely together and now prech hasnt got her daughter anymore and its making this loss even harder for me just knowing she is grieving too.
    i have so many lovely memories of prech and mia i will keep forever
    i am not 100% how mia went but i found her dead in my home i think she had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy i didnt take her to a vets a coupke of weeks ago becoz i knew she had a hold in her heart and blood was flowing through it the wrong way. i just thought she was a little under the weather she did seem to perk up a bit over the 2 weeks but then suddenly passed away i am feelin this terrible guilty feelin but i was told not too expect her to live as long as other cats would.
    please i need ur help and advice on how to stop crying about this and ease the pain a bit. thanks kye xxx

  296. Asil says:

    My Pokey (Mr. Poke) was 5 1/2 years old and a very healthy, lively, and loving cat. He caught birds, squirrels, mice. Then a week or so ago, he became very lethargic. He didn’t eat or drink the first day, but after that, began eating and drinking again and seemed to be getting better. Then, two days ago, he couldn’t breathe right. It was labored and he ended up panting.

    We rushed him to the emergency vet clinic, and they put him on oxygen. He stayed overnight and was diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. He had fluid build-up in his lungs and essentially had congestive heart failure. He had to put him to sleep yesterday afternoon because his prognosis was poor, and even if he survived, he would never have the quality of life he had before this diagnosis. He would have to take pills everyday and wouldn’t be able to go outside anymore.

    I loved this cat so much, and I can’t understand how he could have this illness when he’s been so active and healthy up until now. I’m grieving tremendously for him.

  297. Vanessa says:

    I had gotten a kitten from my friend has an early Christmas present,I have had him for over a week he was doing do good an had had the cutesy personality me and my friend named him khaos well this morning I got up to check on him like I always do n found out he died I have been crying all day and this post has helped meh even though I didn’t have him that long he was like my child an it’s weird not hearing him meow or crawling on me and purring I do hope I can get another kitty but for right now I’m just gonna wait it out.. I feel like it’s my fault that I should of stayed up n played with him for a little bit longer I just wish I could have my kitty back..

  298. Jordan says:

    Hello Everyone,

    Growing up I only ever had a hamster or some fish. 5 years ago, a cat turned up at our doorstep called Tinker, who we took on and love so much. Less than a year ago, we also heard a tiny meow from the front window. I went outside to find a tiny rough looking cat with a tiny head. I took it to the vets and she wasnt microchipped, we asked all the houses near ours if they know who the cat belonged to, but no one replied.

    After begging my Mum for a week to keep the cat, eventually we kept her and named her Jaffa. She was like my little mate. I love Tinker the exact same amount, but Jaffa used to come up to my room with me, and when she liked being stroked, she would lick the covers. All these little things that showed her personality. Over the last week or so, she hasnt been acting herself, sitting in a corner and actually looking upset. She was sick a week ago, but I thought nothing of it, as they have both been sick beore, we just cleaned it up and they were fine. Then, this morning before work, I noticed Jaffa was stil in my room and hadnt come down for her breakfast. So I took some upstairs, and she wasnt even interested. I then went out and rang my Mum asking her how she was. My Mum then said she had to take her to the vets as my Dad found Jaffa crying under his Van. We were then told she had to have an operation on her stomach as she had caught something from an organism. Unfortunatley about 2 hours ago, we were told she went into a coma in the operation and we were asked to take her off the ventilation, as it was doing nothing for her. I am absolutley distraught. I feel guilty as I knew he wasnt well before, but didnt take her to the vets. She was my little mate, and I havent stopped crying since I heard. I really dont know what to do, or if I will ever feel better. I feel like I let her down, as she was only 2 years old. Guilt is deffaintly a big factor of grieving our lost pets! 🙁

  299. Jody says:

    A week and a half ago I rescued a little black and white kitten who was extremely malnourished and near death. She crawled up my pant leg as I was having dinner at a beach restaurant in Goa. I took her with me, brought her to the animal rescue center, got her medicine and was nursing her back to health in an outdoor camp. I named her Chessa and she slept with me in my tipi and was making a full recovery – eating loads, playing, snuggling and of course purring like crazy! Sadly, last night she was attacked by 4 dogs and didn’t make it through the night. I had to bury her this morning and I feel incredibly awful. Even though we only spent 10 days together, I think saving her and then losing her has intensified my grief. I loved her dearly and will never forget ma little chicken…X

  300. jim says:

    Correction ….his front claws had been remvoved

  301. jim says:

    Rex appeared at my doorstep 6 years ago . The vet estimated his age at 3 at the time . He obviously had a former life in that he was neutered , and his back claws had been removed . He was never sick , an active cat , who loved to spend at least an hour of total time a day on my lap .He was what experts would call a participatory cat. Whatever I was working on he was there by my side . My keyboard always shows signs of his presence with his shedded fur . He came when I called always ready to dish out the “noogies” to my hand or even my face . I took Rex to the vet today because he had been constipated . The vet found a lump, did x rays and discovered a large tumor and congestive heart failure . She said he had 2 weeks at the most . I cried and said my goodbyes to the little guy . Its 4 in the morning as I write this . My wake up call is 2 hours away . Thats when he would jump in bed to ask for breakfast . He wasn’t pushy , always polite , willing to patiently wait for his 1st meal of the day . I miss him so much .

  302. Rebecca says:

    Dear lovely friends on this website.. I have not met but feel the greatest of affection for you all…

    Your stories are all so very personal and it gives such a feeling of support that I can’t really put into words.. Sarah I feel so sad for you with your story of your cat being put down today and my heart is with you..

    Since losing my kitten Grace just a couple of weeks ago my world was turned upside down and she only appeared in my life for just 3 weeks imagine.. but she was a gift and the experience was incredibly pure.

    I have since come to understand the nature of love that animals can give and this has opened my heart to such an extent I am going with it. I have now taken to buying cat food for the local cats I see on the streets at night and it is the greatest of joy feeding them that I now carry it when out at night or popping to the cafe on the corner! This morning I met the cutest white cat who totally melted my heart and I sat with her for about 15 mins feeding her and having a cuddle.. this is the gift that Grace my kitten has given me. The capacity to love and after all that never ends..

    Be strong won’t you and remember you can’t control life but you can control love as after all it has no will connect with your angel on an energetic level and the love you shared will continue.

    Much love to you all.. the friends I dont know but yet seeing your stories makes me incredibly touched.

    Goodnight and love to you all… Rebecca xxx

  303. Sarah says:

    My beautiful cat (Kitty) is going to be put down tomorrow. I’m away at university, so it’s hard knowing that the last time I saw her (which was during Canadian Thanksgiving … about a month ago) was the last time I’ll ever see her.

    It all started about six months ago, when I went down into the basement one day, and she came to greet me, as usual … except she was bleeding out of one of her nostrils. We brought her to the vet, and they suspected congestive heart failure, but the x-rays showed no fluid in the lungs. They ran some more tests and found that she had high blood pressure, which they thought was causing the capillaries in her nostril to burst, causing the nosebleeds. This seemed a little strange to me … why would she only be bleeding out of one nostril? And, despite the medication, she was still continuing to bleed from her nostril.

    As time passed, that one side of her face began to swell, and her face began to become more and more disfigured, and the nosebleeds never stopped. We took her back to the vet, and the real cause was determined – she had a tumour in one side of her face. They said that they could put her on chemo meds, but it was a poor prognosis; the cancer was found in a very late stage. It angers me to think that, had they simply taken an x-ray of her face in the first place (where the actual symptoms were happening!!), we might have had more time with her.

    She’s been on chemo and heavy-duty pain meds since the summer, but things began to worsen after my parents went back home after having visited me over the weekend. She’s very lethargic and tired, and can only sleep on one side of her body, since her head is so big and swollen now. Even though she’s on pain medication, she meows and whines quite frequently, so it’s likely that she’s still in pain. Her back legs are apparently very weak, and she sleeps a lot more than usual.

    It’s hitting me really hard. We got her from the Humane Society. It was likely that she had been abused by her previous owners, because she was very tense and got very scared if she got too close to a person’s shoes/legs (we suspect she had been kicked). She was very fierce and somewhat aggressive at first (she used to jump on my head when I was little!), and we didn’t exactly get along at first … she’d scratch me at the slightest provocation, and I was almost too scared to go near her in the fear that she would attack me (I was a very young child at the time, and the thought of claws and teeth scared me). Over time, however, she mellowed out, and I became more assertive. Our relationship completely flipped. She let go of her fear of people, and I let go of my fear of her. She began to jump on my lap when I was on the computer, follow me, purr whenever I came in the room … she turned into the picture perfect image of the ideal cat.

    When my sister left for university last year, I was often alone in the house during the evenings. It could be a very lonely time, especially during the Winter when it was often dark at 4:00 in the afternoon. But she’d come up from the basement, jump on the bed, and curl up and go to sleep at my feet … it was really special because she pretty much lives in the basement, because it’s separated from the upstairs floor where my mom’s dogs stay (the dogs and cat don’t get along), so when the dogs were away, she’d come all the way upstairs to come visit me.

    We had a very special connection. I have four dogs, and I love them to bits, but the connection I have with them is not anywhere close to the bond I have with Kitty. It’s so heartbreaking knowing that today is her last day on Earth, and tomorrow I don’t even get to say goodbye to her. I’m going home in two weeks, and I was so excited to see her … but realistically, I’m probably just going to end up bawling my eyes out when I go in the basement, because it will be so empty without her … and knowing that she’ll never sit on my lap and purr when I’m on the computer upsets me a great deal. Still, I know she’s in a lot of pain, and it would be selfish to keep her alive in such a state … but she was my beautiful Kitty, and I will always appreciate everything she gave me. I’ll always love her and always cherish the time spent together. All I hope is for her passing to be smooth and for her to finally get the rest she deserves after fighting for so long. Love you so much, Kitty.

  304. Angie says:

    Thank you for your kind words Laurie, i am better now, i still miss her,and it’s hard when i wake up and she is not next to me , but i try thinking possitive and that she is on a better place now 🙁
    i also hope she wasn’t in any pain.


  305. Rebecca says:

    Lee.. thank you so so much for your message.. means such a lot to me. Today is a special day 11/11/11.. sending much love to you too.

  306. Diana McCaleb says:

    Hello everyone, I would like to start out by saying that I’m sorry for all the losses. They truely are family members & they may be gone but will never be forgotten.

    My husband & I bought our first house 3 years ago, little did we know that we would also be getting a clan of 11 feral cats on top of the 4 we already had inside. Having worked at a vet’s office I knew exactly what happens at shelters & couldn’t bear the thought of taking them. So I did what any cat lover would do, I started feeding; It took a little while but I eventually got all of them tame, spayed/neutered, dewormed, & vaccinated. I found a real home with a family for 2 of the cats, & one of the other females I only see about twice a year as she’s not welcomed by the top female.

    Anyways, these cats have become a huge part of my life & I love them just as much as my “insiders”. I’ve only had a few injuries since I started (one being shot in the leg), but with medical attention all have recovered & thrived. That was until a few days before Halloween. I went out to feed as I do every morning & I noticed that Penelope didn’t show, which isn’t too unusual if I get up late. Then the next morning she didn’t show up again, I was worried so I went looking for her. I found her mangled body no more that 200ft from the house. I’m guessing that she had gotten hit by a car as I could not find any puncture wounds that would indicate a predator. I buried her by myself, I’m suprised I kept composed long enough to dig her grave & carry her to it. I loved that beautiful little cat so much… it breaks my heart. Her death has been extremely difficult to overcome. I’ve have a hard time accepting that she’s gone, the “shell” I buried didn’t look like it could’ve ever contained her precious spirit. I feel so depressed & alone, sometimes it’s like the only thing getting me up out of bed is all the others that depend on me for food & attention. I know the pain will pass but it’s just hard. Of course it doesn’t help that I am 500 miles away from my closest family member & my husband is currently deployed.

    Penelope was the sweetest cat, all she wanted was love & attention. Sometimes leaving her food at feeding time for a few extra scratches, even if that meant her food got eaten by others. I wish so badly that I could’ve found her a home. She was such a sweet soul, she would’ve made a wonderful companion. The worst part of it is that I know she suffered, she was almost back to the house when she fell. To know that she walked over 2 acres with injuries that were so catastrophic in nature just hurts me to the core. Even if I had found her in time there would’ve been nothing they could do. I just wish I could’ve been there to at least comfort her. On top of that, the night she died she was begging for attention when I went out to feed my dog, I was under-dressed & it was cold so I went back inside. I know it’s crazy to think it was at all my fault, but I can’t help but wonder; if I wouldn’t have taken it for granted that she would be there in the morning, stayed & petted her it might have changed her course of actions, she may have even stayed close to the house. I feel so guilty & powerless, I’m terrified that it will happen to someone else.

    The only thing that has seemed to ease my pain is art. I made a digital painting of my little Penelope. I’m not sure if it’s because of the intense emotions I have been feeling or what, but I feel that it is the best piece of art I have ever completed. Sorry for my long painful story, but it does feel good to be able to tell it to somebody, especially people who may be able to understand it more as they are most likely feeling the same. Thank you for all of you that read what I have written, I really appreciate your thoughts & I will keep all of you in mine. Never forget, just like all the ones we have all lost before, they are patiently waiting for us at the rainbow bridge.

    Sincerely ~Diana
    P.S. If anyone wants to see the digital painting I did of my dear sweet Penelope you can find it here:

    or here:!/media/set/?set=a.151079494906113.32478.100000121898624&type=3

  307. Lee says:

    To Rebecca
    May PEACE be with You

  308. Rebecca says:

    Hi everyone..I have been readling through your stories and my heart feels so many things but most of all there is a connection.

    I rescued a beautiful little kitten a month ago.. she was so ill with a terrible mouth infection that had spread right down to her jaw and was literally starving to death because of it. I took her to the vets and from that moment bonded with her as we watched her recover.. I called her Grace as believe she is a divine soul.. the vets said they had never come across such an affectionate kitten and she melted everyone’s heart who she came in contact with..

    I am in the Middle East and am leaving in a month’s time to Asia and coming back in March.. made the decision to take her with me to Europe when I will settle next year so put the word out for a foster home.

    She was flooded with replies it was a miracle.. I chose a retired lady but this was the biggest mistake I now have to live with. This woman is very seriously ill and on medications so not totally stable.. She looked after my Grace for a week and then took her outside in a blanket going out surrounded by highways, noise and construction and Grace freaked out and escaped. The woman did not tell me for 3 days and when I found out I searched hours and hours in the middle of huge construction sites for hours on end in vain.. she had died the next morning the security guards had found her.

    I am heartbroken and am going through such stages of grief… regret for giving her to this woman, sadness for the loss of what I believed was the future, pain to think of Grace suffering although it seems she did not have any external injuries so am not certain how she died.. its so devastating.

    The animal energy is so beautiful and can’t seem to stop thinking of how she trusted me and closed her eyes while nuzzling me in her blanket and rubbing her nose on mine.. its such a difficult time for me.

    I am going to bury her blanket and my top tomorrow and light some candles and buy a small flower to grow.. I know I will connect to her beautiful energy but still this trauma has really knocked me backwards.

    Have never written on a blog before but seeing all your messages was so special.

    Much love, Rebecca x

  309. Lee says:

    Thanks so very much Laurie

  310. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Angie,

    I’m so sorry to hear how your cat died. You connected with her in such a special way – almost on a spiritual level! You and she WILL meet again.

    Maybe she didn’t die in pain – maybe her body was in shock, and she didn’t feel anything. Maybe she died immediately, and went directly to Heaven — where she’s waiting for you now. She’s at peace now, and not in any pain.

    I hope you’re feeling better. You’ll always mourn her death, but I hope you are starting to remember her with love and happiness.


  311. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Lee,

    I’m sorry to hear how your cat died, and that you feel so guilty. Remember that if you had known that she was so sick, you would have called and taken her to the veterinarian sooner!

    You have to forgive yourself – you did the best you could for your cat. You didn’t do anything wrong, so you don’t have anything to feel guilty about! Your cat must have eaten something or gotten bit by something that caused her death…it wasn’t your fault, it was a sad accident that happened.

    I hope you can start to remember your cat with love and peace, and honor her memory by thinking of her with joy instead of pain. You gave her a good life – you rescued her from a bad owner! You changed her life for the better, and she knew that.


  312. Lee says:

    My Cat Stella was about five years old & really cute.
    I rescued her about 3 years ago from a bad owner. ironically
    she died yesterday morning, shortly before a trip to the Vet.

    To me it’s a mystery as to what happened to her.
    Stella was always a very skinny indoor cat she was
    very talkative, and also a very picky eater.
    About 5 weeks ago she escaped & returned a few hours
    after enjoying her freedom. So I don’t know if she
    got bit by a tick to cause her to gradually get sick and die.

    Over the last 2 months she’s been geting really skinny.
    Then about 3 weeks ago when I was brushing her
    and I felt her ribs and spine, I knew she was way
    too skinny. So I immediatley called the Vet and
    made an apointment. But they did’t have any openings
    until Nov 2nd. As her appointment neared she seemed
    to get very frail, very weak and less talkative. I am now so sad and
    quite guilt ridden, That I didn’t call the Vet sooner I didn’t
    know her urgent her condition really was. Sadly little Stella died
    in her sleep early in the morning on the day of her apointment.

    If somebody has to any clue of what happened & why she died
    please post it here

  313. Angie says:

    My cat died yesterday night… a car hit her 20 minites after she left the bf found looked like it was on purpose cause it was on the side of the road…i feel this is my fault if i had remembered closing that window this would never happen.I know it’s my failt.
    i feel like i lost a child (i know that this may sound silly ) but she was my baby..i only had her 2 years but still…, 🙁 i feel like i lost a person.
    she was my first cats child.. she slept everynight with me.. she said to me “goodnight” with her beautiful big eyes and in the morning when i woke up she came and “tell” me goodmorning with her cutest meows that i will never hear again, we where connected in a way i haven’t connected with another animal..i have lost animals before but this is so different , i also have 2 more cats (her mother and sister) ofc i love them and i wouldn’t want anything happen to them.. but she was my baby..since she was tiny..
    …i love her so much,now i will never hug her again.. and she died in pain i know..i can’t stop thinking of her .. and the picture of her damaged body…i can’t stop crying.. i can’t stop feeling sad for her 🙁 my poor little baby… i can’t stop feeling mad with me. and the person that hit her and left her there in so much pain…
    my poor baby.
    i am sorry for the long post and my bad english (I am Greek)

  314. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thank you for sharing your stories of your cats with me. It makes me sad to hear how people lose their cats, but less alone to know I’m not alone! Coping with my cat’s death was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.


  315. Catina says:

    My cat died this morning,and it happened in less than 15 minutes. He slept with us, and woke up as always. Suddenly he started to cry and 10 minutes later he was dead. The Vet said it was a terrible heart attack.
    My soul cries, all day long I´ve been of doing anything, only I cry, cry and cry. He was gorgeous, he loved me and I began to love again because of Mischa, he brought light and tenderness to my life. He was my first pet, I´d like to know he is well now and happy. I´m in shock yet, and know nobody can live this for me, but I need to share my pain with those who know what is to lost a beloved pet. Thankyou for being there

  316. Dennis says:

    Twenty years ago we decided to get companion cat for our big male cat named Alex.We named this cat Anna ,a female.
    At that time Alex was about three or four and to my best recollection had never seen another cat since he was strictly a indoor cat.
    I will never forget the first time Alex saw Anna ,he stared at her for hours and rebuffed Anna’s attempt to cozy up to him ,but by the next morning there they where cuddled together with Alex cleaning little Anna.From that day on they were buddies.
    In 2004 Alex passed away.It was apparent to, me that Anna was confused about Alex’s death .Maybe she was morning as i was .
    Well here we are today Sept 8 ,2011 and Anna died at 3.30 this morning.She did not die alone ,i was with her.
    It has been sort of a roller coaster the last few months with her but she ate like pig as seemed to be in no pain but we could see her decline .The Vet simply said she was failing do to old age.
    The last couple of days where really rough .i took her back to the vet yesterday morning and he suggested we put her down. I guess out of selfish reasons i just could not do it right then.He understood and asked me to force feed water and nutrients to her of which i did but she fought me and i new that if there was no improvement today i would have taken her back and had put her to sleep.I really do feel she wanted to die and she did it on her own terms.
    When i finish this story i will bury her next to Alex. I will always remember both of them.It is really tough having a pet cat for a big chunk of your life and losing them.

  317. Kelly says:

    Hi I lost my beloved cat not even a week ago. He was hit by a car, I miss him so much. He was barely an adult cat and had only been going out for 6 months. I miss him sleeping on my bed with me, I cannot bare not being with him. I just hope whoever did this gets their karma, they didn’t even stop to help him.

  318. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hello Linza,

    I’ve been thinking about you and your cats’ deaths, and sending you warm cyber hugs. If we were friends in real life, we could go to a kick boxing class together 🙂

    I wrote this article for you:

    Angry Feelings Out of Control? Tips for Managing Rage That Roars

    I don’t know if it’ll help, but like I said, I was thinking about you. So, I thought I’d throw it out there. I welcome your thoughts, there or here.


  319. Linza says:

    I’m working out more, trying to get through the anger. hopefully i can feel better.

  320. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Linza ~ I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish I could say something helpful and wise, but I know there aren’t any words to make things better. Time will heal, eventually…and you’ll always carry your memories of your beloved cat in your heart. You have my deepest sympathies.

    Dear Carol ~ what a sad way to go for your little Gypsy. 🙁 Though she came to such an awful end, you gave her two years of wonderful, happy, peaceful, beautiful life! In time, the memories of how she died will fade. The poor thing. But you gave her such a good life…and that’s what you need to hold on to and remember. The two years of happiness are far more important than the terrible seconds of death. If she’s alive somewhere – if her soul lives on – she’ll be remembering the good, not the bad.

    Dear Amber ~ Thank you for sharing about your cat Piper. I’m so sorry to hear how his life ended. It’s not your fault he died – you did the best you could in getting his flea medication to him. If you’d have known he would’ve died, you would’ve done everything in your power to save him! I hope you can forgive yourself, and remember Piper with love and happiness.

    Dewy, Becky, Elizabeth, Jaymz ~ Thank you for sharing your stories of your cats here. This is a memorial and tribute to them that will never be lost — your beloved cats will live forever in your hearts, minds, and souls.

    Blessings and sympathies,

  321. Linza says:

    wow…Lost my beloved on Ash Wednesday of this year, but I still had her adopted sister, whom I love dearly. She passed away last Thursday. I can’t seem to pull it together. Punky was 17 and I had the Lovely Mookie for 14 years. Doesn’t matter, don’t want to hear ‘oh you had them for so long’…doesn’t help. My heart is bleeding like it will never stop. 4 months after the first death. Really? REALLY? This is the hand I’m dealt. Oh yeah, I’m furious, I’m so mad I could chew glass. I hate my house I hate everything around me right now. There is no way out.

  322. Carol says:

    My beautiful little cat Gypsy was attacked and killed by a dog just behind our house on Saturday morning 23/07/11. I miss her so much, she had shared our home for two years, we took her in when we noticed she was sleeping in the shed in our back yard even though we have another cat Ollie who we have had for 13 years. she was very timid and looked like she had been badly treated, but we coaxed her into trusting us and soon she was coming in to eat her food in our kitchen and it wasnt long until she moved in. I cannot get the horror of how she died out of my head, but I hope in time I will just remember the joy she gave us, its just so sad to think that she had had such a bad time before she came to us and that she should die in such a violent way.


  323. Amber says:

    My cat piper died..I loved him..he was like a dog and would follow me everywhere and just sit and watch me. He like to watch people. He was a special black cat. I found him lying in a shed under the four wheeler like he was asleep. I dont know what happend, maybe the sun. I had got an apartment that was no animals allowed. My first apartment so I had to take it and leave piper with my boyfriends mother. She loved piper to and spoiled him as well. He warmed up to her and slept on top of her head on the pillow every night and followed her around. She asked me if she could officially own piper. I agreed becuase they loved eachother. I would visit piper often about everyweek/two week. Piper was put out of the house this summer for his flees. When I would go over and see him I noticed he was agitated and wanted back into his home. I decided to get him flee medicine. My car had problems so I could never make it in time to get his medicine due to my BF working till 5. I found piper today dead and I had tried to get medicine before I found him. I was going to get him medicine monday for sure. Im so sad I didnt get him his medicine. I feel like he was still mine and he needed me and if he would have had his medicine he could have been in the house alive. I am afraid he died from anemia from flees or had a heat stroke. Piper lived a good life. I will never give a very loved pet to anyone elses ever again, no one was at blame here but it just made me realize that alot could have killed him with him being in anyone elses hands and when you love an animal and they feel part of you, you should never leave then to live with anyone.

  324. Dewy says:

    It’s been almost a week since my little fatty’s gone. he is 14 month old and I brought him home with his elder sister last September.
    Since I had to go abroad for 3 weeks, I put them at their birth home and assume it’s best for them. Things went OK until sometime last week (when I was on the return flight home). By the time I reached home, was told that he disappeared..from 31 floor…

    I drafted a post to look for him and bumped into the cleaner of the apartment……she saw him….my little baby…

    He fell off from 31st floor to 4th floor (that’s an park attached to that apartment) in the very morning when I was supposed to bring them back home!!!!

    That’s no words to express my sadness and mimi (his elder sister)’s sadness. I still ‘see’ him everywhere home (apparently, mimi still smell him everywhere home, she has been looking for him since then and keep yelling – they are always very quiet cats) . But fatty will never come back to us…every cat (animal) is unique with their own character……I might find mimi another accompany but that nobody can replace her younger brother who are with her since she comes to the world…..

    I even wrote a blog in memory of him and to get it over the pain. But it doesn’t work at all. I didn’t expect it to be that hurt…as if there is a hole in my deep heart, bleeding…For a long time, I was a bit more in favor of mimi, as she is sweeter and closer to me. Fatty is totally a boy, naughty and bold. But now, I only wish I could find him back at any price…..It took my breath away whenever I tried to imagine the pain he must be suffering at his last moments. imagine how terrified he must feel and I AM NOT EVEN THERE FOR HIM!!!It’s killing me…

    I don’t feel this is real…don’t know how to cope with the pain

    Thank you for setting up the site. now, at least I know I am not alone. Pray for everyone who suffer the loss of their special ones..

  325. Becky says:

    I lost my beautiful cat, Gypsy, on July 11, 2011. About a month ago, I noticed one night she was acting very funny. She was hiding underneath my bed, and I realized she hadn’t eaten dinner. She was always a picky eater, but she usually would try a bite or so, at least. I looked underneath my bed to see her, and something wasn’t right. She then got up from underneath my bed and hopped on top of my bed. I noticed her balance was off, and she was a little wobby. I KNEW something was wrong..I told myself I would take her in the next day to the vet, thinking there would be nothing too wrong with her, and maybe it was the medicine she was on. The next day I took her to the vet, and they told me she was “doing really bad” and that they would try to give her medications, but they really thought I should just put her to sleep. I was devastated. I didn’t expect that kind of news. They told me she had jaundice, most likely from not eating, and that something else could be wrong, but the only way to know would be to get hospitalized or get further treatment. I got her hospitalized, a few days later she was doing better. The iV Fluid had helped, and she started to eat again on her own. I visited her everyday and held her, talked to her. She seemed to be more lively, and excited again about life. I was allowed to take her home. She was on medications for at least 2 weeks, and didn’t seem to get better. I then got her hospitalized again, and got an ultrasound. The vet called me and told me the worst news of my life. They found something – a large mass (10x the size it should be) and it was near/and or on her pancreas and pressing down on her liver. They told me this is something really hard to treat, but she could get surgery and go through chemo treatment, ect. I didn’t know what to do. I knew I couldn’t afford that kind of treatment and I don’t even think Gypsy would survive going through all of that and I don’t think she would have liked it very much. I made the hardest decision of my life, and I knew my Gypsy was in pain. After about a few days of being home, she was not doing well. Hiding, turning away from me when I pet her. She was miserable, and so was I. I couldn’t bare to watch her be in pain, I knew what I had to do. Two vets came to my house that day to put my Gypsy to sleep. I held her in my arms as I carried her downstairs. She layed on the couch, as I pet her face and told her how much I loved her. This was the worst pain I have ever felt in a very very long time. I lost my best friend that day. I didn’t want her to be in pain and I knew it was the right decision. The cancer was killing her, and it was killing me to see her in pain. I love my Gypsy so much and it was so hard to let her go. I still deal with the guilt of knowing I had to make that decision, but I know she is in a better place, full of fresh green grass and food, and she is happy again, with me in spirit. Rest in peace my Gypsy, I’ll miss you more than you’ll ever know. <3

    • sad heart says:

      Sorry to hear about your cat gypsy you made the right decision I’ve been through the same sort of thing as you have I feel guilty every day but I know I did the right thing as my harriet had kidney disease and was only four years old and had a hard life as a kitten I had her off cats protection hoping to give her a happy long life but I only had her fifteen months and she had this awful disease she was just wasting away and was in so much pain she didn’t eat she didn’t drink she was hospitalist put on a drip every test done medication I did everything possible but she just wasn’t responding so she went to god and now she is not in pain any more I will see her again on the other side I miss her but I know she’s happy you made the right decision youl come to terms with it over time

  326. Elizabeth says:

    My longhaired cream and white cat, Milo, of 14 years had to be put down yesterday. He started acting very sick about two weeks ago, and we took him to the vet and found out his kidneys and liver were in bad shape, and he had jaundice. We were shocked to learn his skin was bright yellow.

    But the vet said there was a chance we could save him. So we tried, we gave him some fluids from an IV every day, and handfed him special food. He seemed like he was getting a little better, too…he even washed himself again. But then he acted sleepy again…and yesterday he was in horrible shape…he couldn’t even get up and walk..his legs wouldn’t budge. He just lay there, limp, with shallow breathing…the only time he really responded was when I left the room, came back, and he raised his head up to look at me…as if he wondered where I went. Or maybe he wanted to talk to me with his eyes somehow.

    So we called the vet, me and my boyfriend, my parents were at work and couldn’t, and they said to bring him in, and my bf’s mom took us. I just held Milo in a blanket there. We brought him in, and he couldn’t even raise his head up, it was just hanging. They said he was in pain, and had a low body temperature of 93. I agreed to let him be put to sleep.

    I was strong about it most of the day, me and my boyfriend cried some…then my parents came home, and dad gave up his toolbox just for him, since he didn’t think the cardboard box they put him in would do him justice. So we placed him in the empty toolbox, covered with a blanket under and on top, it was like he was sleeping in a little bed, and there was his food dish filled with treats, and a bottle cap, and Christmas toy, because he loved caps, and I got him as a Christmas gift when I was 5 years old. Dad wrote a note, too…”My Milo, the world’s laziest cat…till we meet again my friend.” He got buried in our flower garden.

    I guess it didn’t really hit me until later on. I tried to be strong, but it just sank in…and now I miss him horribly. I figured I would comment here too. None of you are alone…it all is so terrible…but I’m sure these cats are all happy now, wherever they are.

    • sad heart says:

      Sorry to hear about your sad story of your cat I think your cat is in a good place now with no pain and is happy I think your cat is waiting for you on the other side god be with you

  327. Jaymz says:

    Last September, my wife and I found an injured kitty about 4 weeks old, outside our building entrance. We took him in, took him to the vet and then decided to keep him as he was the cutest, quietest and nicest kitty we had ever seen. We named him Koui, because of a cute little noise he made when we played with him. It so happens that for the next 10 months he became our best friend, one of the greatest joys of our everyday life. He was our companion, our friend and our relief from all the woes of life.

    After he grew up a little, he wanted to go out and play with the other cats that live in the common area of our apartment building. So we let him. Most nights he slept outside our kitchen window (we live on the ground floor) and he was there every morning to come inside and have breakfast and snooze on the couch. He really was a happy cat. He had a home where he was loved and where he felt safe. He also had other cats he could play with and be with his own kind and be happy.

    A couple of nights ago around 2:30am I heard a horrific cry, a bad cat fight. So I got up and opened my window and saw a huge black dog running along the building’s garage ramp, and then jump over the fence into the night. As he was running I heard the sound of the little bell Koui had on his collar. I ran out to the ramp, and saw him. He was laying there, as if asleep. I went up to him and called his name. I swear I saw his mouth move just a little bit, as if he was trying to say something to me. Probably goodbye, or simply “why?”. He didn’t move again. The black dog had killed him. Our hearts almost exploded from the pain we felt.

    Yesterday I called in sick from work and took him to my parents house to bury him in the back yard. I put him in his little bed along with some of his toys and a can of food (I don’t know why, it was one of the gourmet treats we reserved for special occasions) and buried him there, so I can visit him and always know where he is.

    I just feel so devastated as does my wife. I never thought I would feel like this. We are talking about moving since our apartment feels so empty and cold to us know. I simply cannot grasp the unfairness of what happened. He didn’t run away, he wasn’t run over by a car and he didn’t get sick and die, all of which are not better but are more common and I feel as if I could accept something like that a little easier. A huge black dog appeared out of nowhere and out of all the cats that were around chose to attack and murder Koui. He was only 12 months old or so and was so nice and kind hearted, he would have been the nicest old cat, had he been able to live his life. He would have been huge and fury and would have had the longest tail I’d ever seen in a cat! We made fun of him for that…

    I never imagined I’d feel like this. There is a large weight in my stomach and a pain in my heart. I will never forget Koui and will always cherish the moments we got to spend with him. With his great personality and tenderness he really taught me a lot. May he rest in peace and find happiness wherever he is right now. Goodbye my good friend.

  328. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thank you for sharing your stories of your cats, and how they left this world. Our beloved cats live on in our hearts, and we must remember them with peace, joy, and happiness. After that’s what they’d want, right?

  329. minke says:

    I had to put my cat Oortje (dutch for little ear) to sleep. SHe had Renal failaire but lived for a couple of yours with it, taking the special dietfood. We were still happy although she was old and a real granny. She still layed on my pillow and went outside with me for a short walk. Or in the garden. But then she stopped eating and I still don’t know if it was the Renal failure or the abcess in her mouth. but she was too weak to wait for the antibiotics to kick in, i should have gone to the vet sooner. I blame myself every minute. But I also know she was really old 18 and she lived perhaps more for me and my mother. She loved laying on my lap in my room while I watched tv or on my bed on my pillow, next to my head.
    I haven heardly stopped crying since the night of 2 / 3 july, or really from thursday because I knew it might almost be over.
    I don’t know how i’ll ever survive this. She was my all. I didn’t move out (am 33 years) because I loved her so much and didn’t want to seperate her from my mother either.
    I hope her spirit will be with me or when she wants to. where-ever I am, in my new – not yet ready – apartment or now at my moms house or when I visit her in the future.
    I hope one of these links underneath will help me cope with my loss. Cos I ain’t doing a good job.

  330. Ann says:

    I had to put my beloved cat, Chewy, to sleep last Thursday. The hurt is so intense. I don’t know if I will ever get over this. He was such a part of my life. It is only my son and myself. My son is never home so Chewy was always there for me. He always sat with me each night while watching TV. He was my company. I would talk to him. He was a very loving cat. I miss him so much it is riping my heart out. I loved him very much. Every where I look reminds me of him. He was my first animal. My first cat. I never had to put anything to death before. It’s not right. I know he was very sick and was suffering. For this, I am gradful that I had the courage to do what I had to do. I pray for all of us who have lost our special friends. May we find peace in our hearts.

  331. Joe_LovesyouIsis says:

    I am currently crying my eyes out over writing this after the loss of a very dear family cat I lost yesterday. Her name was Isis and although she belonged to my mum in the house she was always there everyday. She had one heck of a personality, hissed everytime anyone passed her but she also had a very sweet one.
    My mum got the news yesterday that she’d been hit by a car. Apparently she ran outside to see her final moments. I didn’t dare go outside as I knew I’d fall down in tears. The impact of the car had apparently broken her back and from what my mum explained she’d been moving her front half trying to get out of the road. The part that got myself and my mum was that as soon as she heard her voice she tried moving towards her. She died in her arms then and was buried in the back garden next to another recently passing cat of ours. We do have 6 others although, she was unique in the fact she had a personality and has really grasped our hearts. I’m going to miss her all so dearly. I hope she knows how much we care because she’s left a mark in our family and we will never forget her.
    R.I.P Isis <3

  332. Rich says:

    I found my cat, Ash, dead early this morning. Last night she didn’t come to “help me” get to sleep like she usually does. I got up earlier than usual to look for her because she hadn’t visited during the night. I found her in her hiding place in the basement. I buried her in the back yard at sunrise, wrapped in a towel. I put in a piece of rope from her scratching post that she had shredded with her vigorous scratching.

    She was only about 8-9 years old and appeared healthy up to the end. She was so full of energy and always wanted to play and have attention. Of my two cats, she was the “wild” one – I’d joke and say that she was my “girl gone wild” when she’d tear around the house wanting to play. The last time we played was yesterday morning before work. She was her usual wild self.

    The sad part is that, in retrospect, I think she died of stress. She suffered some unknown kind of trauma when she was about 2 1/2 and after that she just didn’t get along with Smoke, my other cat. Up to that point they were best friends, sleeping curled up together, etc. After the traumatic event she was at best tolerant of Smoke. She became kind of an oddball…she’d react to attention and petting, begging for more and more then suddenly become hostile and hyper-vigilant looking for Smoke, sometimes tearing after Smoke to swat at her a couple of times then run back to me. They never physically hurt each other but hostility became more common. In addition I’ve had job and living situations change and so both cats suffered from multiple moves in the past 3 years. So, I think that the chronic stress killed her.

    I’ve also experienced other losses in the recent past, so I know that this “numb” feeling is just the beginning. I’ll make it, but it won’t be easy. I already miss her.

  333. Rick says:

    My wife Linda died on may 14 2011

    we had two cats they were our family the older one is not very scocal but the other one loved everyone he got out of the house and a nabor found him today he had been hit by a car..
    I will Miss you my Boy!
    RIP Frankie 5/29/2011
    Im sorry Linda I love you!

  334. Emma says:

    My cat died this morning. I tapped the side of the food tin to call my cats in for breakfast, and one cat (Kat) came running in, the other didn’t(Kit). I then got a knock on the door from the neighbour who said there was a black cat up the road who had been hit, and that he didn’t think the cat was alive. I walked up the road to see that it was true. It’s so upsetting. Both cats are only 10 months old, so it’s quite upsetting he lived quite a short life. He was really sweet and friendly – they both are – and I’ll miss him. I love my cats to pieces. R.I.P. to Kit. I hope everyone else who has suffered pet loss can recover.

  335. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Belinda,

    I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your cat, Baby Little. Poor Kuya, who seems to be missing him so much. Animals really do mourn, and feel the pain of loss and death.

    Thank you for sharing your story – your experience has touched other people who are mourning their lost pets.

    Thanks for your prayers, and I wish you healing and the ability to remember Baby Little with joy, peace, and happiness — no more pain.


  336. Belinda says:

    I am happy to have stumbled to this site because I just lost my very very dear cat, Baby Little, last 3 June 2011. I was with him all throughout his last moments until he breathed his last. I was touching him, holding him, talking to him. I told him “Baby, I am just here with you, ok?” But I lost him still. I cried and cried and cried when I realized he was no longer moving. Yes, I read all the comments and experiences shared here and I do share the pain. I know how it feels because it is still such a gaping wound in my heart. And I don’t think it will never truly heal because I know we will never be a complete little family again….Baby Little, his brothers Nikki, Alex and Kuya Ibarro and I. I feel like echoing what Misty….Forever said..I can’t stand the pain, I can’t, I can’t. I cry each time I think of him. I see him everywhere in the house. I feel the pain stab me when I feed the remaining three cats. It hurts…it so hurts. Sometimes it feels like my heart would burst in pain.

    But I am telling myself, I have to be strong for Alex, Nikki and Kuya. Of the three, Kuya is the one taking it the hardest. For three days now since we buried Baby Little in my little flower garden, Kuya has been crying outloud and sniffing every corner of the house. He cries anytime of the day and night and sniffs the spots where Little used to sleep. I have been losing sleep because of his crying too. That is how I came to this site. I was researching to find out what is happening to Kuya since he isn’t like this before. I need to help him cope with his grief as much as I need to live with mine. But I have to be strong because no one in my family shares my love for my cats. They do not understand why I should grieve and cry over a simple cat. But Baby Little is not a simple cat. He is simply MY CAT, my dear baby….a loving and unique member of my small family.

    Thank you so much for putting a site like this where we can share our sadness and pain over the loss of our cats. It does make me feel a little better to talk about my grief with people who share the same experience. I know it will take a long time for the tears to stop, but it helps to know, I have found a FAMILY in here too. I pray to God for His healing hand to touch me. And I will pray for all of you too who are grieving for your lost cats.

    Thank you and may God help us all to heal our broken hearts.

  337. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thank you for sharing your experiences with losing your cats. The grieving process never really ends, I don’t think.

    My heart still breaks for the cats I’ve loved and lost…but I try to remember them with love, joy and happiness instead of pain and regret.


  338. Annemarie says:

    Hi all purry lovers

    I want to sympathize with every person who went through the painful experience of loosing a catty.

    Two years ago I brought home two kittens who were brothers, Mercury and Venus. They were inseparable and a great joy to our home. My husband, who wasn’t familiar with the intelligence, pride, aloofness(!), playfulness, joy and love of cats, soon enjoyed to share time with them both, especially in our garden where they all used to play hide and seek!

    Then Mercury, a lovely black and white cat, showed signs of depression. We were really ignorant about cat illnesses and did not know anything about FIV. For about a year he underwent a personality change and we thought he was just becoming a demanding catty who wanted to do all the things in the house they were not allowed to. We allowed him to jump on the table, sleep on the cupboard, the dressing table, the little round table in front of the window in the bedroom – all this despite the fact that they each had a special basket to used to sleep in. Everyone admired them and thought it was so cute when they were each sleeping in a basket! It was cute!!

    But Mercury went through different stages until about 6 weeks ago when I realized that something was seriously wrong. We took him to the vet who examined him, injected him and gave antibiotics we had to give for 3 days. He had a fever of 41 when we took him in, but recovered and started eating again and we were all so delighted that I phoned the vet and thanked him.

    But it lasted only for three days, and he lost his appetite again, back to the vet, another injection and then he told us about FIV. We realized that Mercury had been attacked a couple of times by a roaming cat who even came into our home. We never allowed our cats to sleep outside during the night but they were attacked during the day and soon started to rather stay inside. But the damaged was done and we were unaware of this.

    So, within a few weeks, Mercury had to be taken back to the vet every week for 4 weeks. I realized that the injections were of no use and went onto the internet and only discovered, to my astonishment, what my beloved cat went through and that he was already in his 3rd stage.

    He died in my arms on 16 May at 07:43. I need not try to explain. All I can say is, I know.

    Venus is looking for him and missing him probably just as much as us. It is extremely sad to see him like this. We will now keep on playing with him to try to help him get over the loss of his brother.

    Thank you for this space and that I could share MERCURY AND VENUS with you and all other cat lovers. Maybe this will help me when I put a rose on his little grave underneath the cherry tree, not to feel the pain so intensely. I miss him and his loving way so, so much.

    Love you all

  339. Corinna says:

    Dear Laurie,
    thank you for this site, we are really not alone…
    2010 has been devastating for me: I lost the most beloved and most precious creatures in my life: Boogy and Licia.
    Boogy was my baby, although he was already 12 years old and he was Licia’s baby. Licia was 19, and she was my first baby, of course 🙂
    Boogy died in April 2010 and Licia last Dec 2010…but as you can see, I am writing here now because I still miss them so much and my heart still aches. I not only miss my pets, what they did and the joy they brought to me and my family, I also miss how I was when I was with them. There is no corner of the house that does not belong to them, and it is so hard not to think of them : it’s like they are everywhere. It doe not take the pain away, but many times I find myself smiling, seeing with the eye of my mind ( and heart) the funny things we did together THAT NO ONE CAN DO OR SUBSTITUTE. I still cry a lot, but then I remember how lucky I was to live a happy life with them for respectively 19 and 12 years; I know that my cats were happy and died in the place they loved most: my arms.
    I know one day my heart will tell me to open the doors for another or more cats, because there is still so much love to give…a hug to all people suffering for their cat’s loss. Corinna

  340. Misty... Forever. says:

    I lost Misty in March. I can’t stand the pain. I can’t. I can’t. No matter what anyone says to help, NOTHING DOES. Nothing can help, nothing can change it. I just wish I could see her once more… She died of a stroke, and was like braindead. She was eating and drinking, and going potty, but would like go in a corner and walk and walk and walk. She didn’t know what she was doing, and soon, had two accidents.. Bad ones. We put her down a week after getting her blood test. It killed us to see her like this. She wasn’t right. I miss you misty..


  341. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Debbie, Diane, and Juanita,

    I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your cats. I’ve had my current cat, Nunki, for almost six years (she was my husband’s before we married, and now she’s more mine than his!)….and I often think about how sad I’ll be when she’s gone.

    I’ve loved and lost four other cats in my lifetime, and the pain when your cat dies never goes away.

    I just wrote this article for you:

    Living Without Your Cat? How to Ease the Pain of Pet Death

    I hope it helps, and invite you to share your stories of your cats, if you’d like.

    In sympathy,

  342. Debbie says:

    My name is Debbie, my husband,Jim, and I just had our 14 year old cat, Kordell, put down last Tuesday. We miss him very much. He had diabetes and dementia, he was acting very strange right before we put him down. He would wander around the house with a glazed look in his eyes. Would like to know how to survive this great loss. Thanks, Debbie Hope

  343. Jason says:

    i have 1 cat and i like to buy anther one!i like dis site coz it helps me a lot

  344. Diane says:

    I had to put my beautiful Bunny to sleep yesterday and my heart is broken. She was only 10 months old and was so sweet and gentle. The vet said they thought she had FIP and it was fatal. She was perfectly normal on Monday but started to look different on Tuesday by just kind of not walking normal. She had extra toes and had a long nail on one so I took her to the vet for it on Wednesday. She was a little quiet on Wednesday at the vet and by Wednesday afternoon she was unable to see. By Thursday she would only walk in a crouch and could not see at all. We started giving her fluids in her skin and helped her eat and went back to the vet who really didn’t know what to do. By Friday we were told to keep giving the fluids and antibiotics and hope for the best. All weekend long we held her and comforted her as best we could. By Monday morning she was falling down when she tried to walk so I took her to a neurologist who said she had FIP and was suffering. I sat and held Bunny for 2 hours trying to make the right decision for her then finally had to let her go. I held her while they gave her the injection then brought her home to be buried. I can’t stop crying and her mom and sister are both looking for her. I just don’t know what to do at this point to ease our pain.

  345. Juanita Wiparata says:

    Kia ora Laurie,
    My name is Juanita. My boyfriend found 2 kittens around March 2010 and we took them as our own.We bottle fed them until they could eat themselves. We Loved them and had them spaded and the works. Anyways when they were fixed, we found out the one I called my own: Fricken had an bladder infection. But it was’nt serious the vet said. So I took her home after 3-4 days in the vet and on a drip. Her sister : Nightmare was so going bananas without her. It was’nt long after Fricken came home. All was well until April 3/4/2011 Fricken was just not herself. I feed them before I went to church and all was good. Later that night I was still at church and my boyfriend txted me and said: Frickens sick, don’t know how long she’s got. I was so deverstated!! Me and my daughter took Fricken to the vet and the only option was to put her to sleep. A week on now and I still call out her name. Do you have any good advice on how I can get over my BABY I like to call her. I have never ever missed anything in my life so badly. Nightmare is still alive and I love her too, but Fricken was mine and Nightmare is my partners.How do I cope with this terrible issue? Nightmare is a complete opposite to Fricken.
    Fricken loved cuddles and kisses and Nightmare hates cuddles and kisses.
    Fricken loved to be lazy and watch t.v.and chasing woolly balls and Nightmare loves bringing Birds and Mice and very active,with an attitude.
    I hope you can help Laurie, your advice will be most appreciated by me and My Family.
    Thank you for listening and you take care and keep doing your thing!!!!
    From the Wiparata and Hika Whanau (families) in New Zealand.

  346. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Juanita,

    I’m sorry to hear about your cat’s death. So sad, especially when another animal is affected. And they are aware of the loss (obviously), and do grieve!

    When I wrote my ebook about pet loss, I asked the veterinarians what to do for the surviving pets. They said to give surviving pets lots of affection and love, and as much attention as possible. Cats heal from the pain of losing their family the same way we do: with the passage of time.

    I don’t know when the best or right time to get another cat is…and you may not know until you bring a new cat home and see how Nightmare reacts! I was in a pet store last month, and the clerk said that whether cats get along has alot to do with their personality traits. Often, females and females don’t get along — but it really depends on who the “alpha” cat is, how old they are, and their personality.

    I’m sorry I don’t have more concrete tips for you…all I know for sure is that extra attention helps cats grieve and makes them feel better (well, I guess I don’t even know that for sure…but that’s what experts seem to think).

    I wish you all the best.

    In sympathy,

  347. Juanita Wiparata says:

    My cats names areFricken & Nightmare. Fricken passed away 3rd April 2011. Blood disease and puss in her bladder. She is much loved and hard to get over at this point and time. But time will heal us in my family.I am not sure as yet to get another cat, but I am considering it. Due to my other cat is fretting for her sister?
    I don’t know what to do for her. If you have any advice or really good tips that would be really appreciated. To help my other cat Nightmare to get on with her playful self again.

    Thank you Juanita Wiparata.

  348. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Ruth, Sharon, and June,

    I am so sad to hear that you lost your cats. It’s so painful, whether your cat was 9 months or 19 years old! It doesn’t seem to matter how long we loved our cats…the pain of losing them is the same.

    You have my sympathies 🙁


  349. June and Tigger says:

    My heart is broken because my wonderful Tigger is dead. We found Tigger in our garden on September 2010. he was just 6 weeks old. someone had dumped him. Was’nt sure about keeping him for a start but decided we would. Best decision ever. He was wonderful such a beautiful kitten. He would greet me at the door when I came home and sleep on my bed. the kids and I loved him so much even my husband came round to him. he is not a cat lover. On saturday 26th March I let Tigger out and he got run down by a car. the driver came to the door and told me i just ran out to see if he was alive. He was killed instantly. He was only 8 months old. I am in bits my baby has gone and miss him so much. How do I cope with this sadness?

  350. Sharon says:

    I lost my beloved, beloved, beloved cat Julius today. He is and was my heart and I love him with a love I never thought I would ever feel for a cat. He was sixteen and went peacefully at home. We came home to find he had passed away. There was never a more gentle creature alive than my Julius. That cat did not ever ever display any hostile, mean or angry behaviours. I used to call him my big bag of love. He loved me deeply in return and was always near me. I am overcome with grief – was there SOMETHING I could have done to prevent this?! I already know the answer is no, that it was his time and he lived a long, contented cherished life. But still…I wish I had been able to comfort him in my arms and soothe him with my words when he passed. I have another cat, who I love, but she is not my heart like my Julius (aka Jules, buddy-boy and kitten-face). I just want him back, I just want more time to love him. My heart is gone.

  351. Ruth says:

    My beloved cat of 18 years died yesterday, I had to have him put to sleep as he could no longer function. He was a beautiful ginger cat who adopted my family as a kitten. He used to come and see us everyday until we were told by his orginal owners that we could keep him. He was unique. So loving, playful, a bit of a show off when he was younger, he would stretch out on the floor and chase his own tail. In his autumn years he became so he just wanted to be close to me, he would sit on the arm of the sofa next to me, and place his paw on my hand. I love my cat, in life and in death. It is hard because even those closest to me don’t quite understand the heartbreak of losing my beloved companion.

  352. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    George, I’m so sorry to hear that you lost Soot. What a heartbreaking experience.

    I like the idea of having his paw print framed.

    Some animals dig right into our hearts and souls; others we love, but it’s not the same. I don’t know why we have such strong bonds to some cats, but not others…I guess it’s similar to having strong bonds with some people, but not others.

    In sympathy,

    P.S. In Letting Go of an Animal You Love, I interviewed pet loss grief experts, veterinarians, and people who really, really struggled after losing their pets. They share dozens of helpful, inspiring, strength-building, and sometimes surprising tips for coping with pet loss – none of which are here on Quips and Tips.

  353. Sara Johasun says:

    good info !. thanks for sharing this inspiring blog.

  354. George says:

    We lost our cat yesterday and we are all so very sad. Our cat was named soot; he was gray with a little white on his paws and neck. Soot was only 3 years old and such a loving cat. Last week soot was breathing heavy so we took him to the vet. The vet took x-rays and found fluid around the lungs, gave soot a shot and some medicine to take home. After almost a week soot did not seem to get any better, he was still breathing heavy but also seemed to be in good spirits. Soot was still purring when we pet him and would lie next to us as he always did but we knew he was not well. We decided to take soot to another vet that only worked on cats. When we got there the vet was concerned and said we need to leave soot for the weekend. They would be putting him in an oxygen chamber, draining the fluid, taking x-rays, and administrating meds. The vet seemed very optimistic about the outcome because soot was so young and strong so I left him there on Friday Jan 14. I called later that day and was told that when they tried to drain the fluid soot became very stressed and that was not good. They put him back in the oxygen chamber and he seemed to feel better after awhile. I received a call at 0810 Saturday morning from the vet, she said soot was not doing well and we should decide what we want them to do. We decided that they should try to give anesthesia and then drain the fluid. The problem with this was that the anesthesia would most likely kill him but it would be just like having him put down. We decided at least that would give soot one last chance so we told the vet our family would be there asap. We live about an hour away and had to get the kids ready, they are ages 8, 8, and 10. The girls wrote letters to read to soot hoping that it might help him and I’m sure it would have. When we got to the vet’s I was pulled aside and told he passed just a few minutes ago. I am a 44 year old man and I cried my eyes out for a long time. My girlfriend then came in and said her good byes as well as leaving soot his favorite mouse toy. Then the kids came in, the girls were sad and crying as they said goodbye and left soot the letters they wrote. What really tore us apart was not getting to the vet in time to say good bye to our beloved soot. I just hope he was not scared.

    We have decided to cremate soot along with his mouse and letters from the girls along with having a paw print framed. We all cried most of the day and as I sit here tonight at work I still have tears from time to time. I am sure we will get another cat some day but for now we will just love the ones we still have and remember all of the great times we had with soot. We have many pictures and memories to remember him by. I just know soot is up in kitty heaven and some day we will all be together once again. We miss you soot. We have 2 other cats and they seemed to know something was wrong and came to us in a sad loving way. I have lost cats before but for some reason this was the most devastating of them all.

  355. my cat rue says:

    my cat rue was living at recycling center and i toke him home. he grow to be a pretty red tiger striped tom cat.
    he was killed by dog next door.i miss him so much
    writing a book of him called my cat rue

  356. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thanks for sharing your stories about your cats — I’m so sorry you lost them, but glad you had the time together.

    I agree that writing about pet loss really helps both dog and cat lovers. Just expressing your love and pain can really help with healing.

    In sympathy,

  357. Jo says:

    I just feel heartbroken, never felt pain like it. My beloved cat Oscar died suddenly with no warning at home a week ago. He’d not shown any sign of illness…that i was aware of anyway. We had had lots of cuddles on the bed, i went to the bathroom and i heard a thump, then a couple of little whimpers..ran into my bedroom and found him on the floor. The vet reckoned it was his heart. There was just no warning, and it’s unbearable the pain i’m feeling.
    I miss him soooooo much, it’s like my chest has been ripped open.

    Oscar was 13, very shy of others, but very kittenish and cute with me. Never one to sleep on your lap..unless you had a cushion…but he did the cutest thing when i checked on him where he’d look at me and then curl his head under revealing that ultra-soft bit on the side of his face and neck…almost willing me to come and stroke him. He was irresistable.
    Over the past few months he had been sleeping next to me, we’d spoon so that i fell asleep with my hand under his tummy. I can’t tell you how much i’ll miss that.
    He was my baby. I live alone and always have, so now my flat is so empty and i keep thinking it’s him when i hear a noise or see a reflection.

    Although hearing other people’s stories is upsetting, it is comforting sort of to know that i’m not the only one who can’t put away the cat litter or clean out the food bowls.
    I carry around a little photo frame with pictures of both Oscar and his long-lost brother Felix in….and kiss the photos regularly…as well as the images on my phone and on the table by the candles that i have been lighting constantly for the past week. I’ve also been stuffing a little Bagpuss soft toy into my neck and using it as a comfort…and i’m 38yrs old! Embarrassing…but you kinda revert to being a child when you feel loss i guess…the vulnerability is immense.

    For the first 3/4 days it felt like all i did was cry, the doubled-over kind of crying where you just feel broken, and then i found that i was becoming very restless and irritable. My body was so full of tension every evening and the anxiety has just been awful. Most of today has just been spent crying though, perhaps cos it’s been a week now.

    As much as anyone says to me that there was nothing i could’ve done, i still feel guilty. Guilty that i wasn’t in the room when he died, that i couldn’t comfort him in his last moments. Guilty that i was a month late taking him to the vet for his jabs…so i’ll always wonder if they would’ve spotted a heart problem and prevented his passing. The vet reassured me that it absolutely wasn’t my fault..but guilt doesn’t let you belief it.

    I’m very nervous about getting his ashes. I’ve arranged for a little wooden curled-cat casket, and his ashes will be inside. But i’m actually really really nervous about collecting it. I’m worried i won’t be able to let go of it, as in put it down. Maybe it’s just the pain of the reality that i’m scared of. So far i’ve been in a confused shocked state, just not understanding the speed and suddeness of it all…having the ashes is so final and so definite.

    I keep wishing i could hallucinate him, and i so wish i would dream about him, but there’s nothing.

    I’ll miss him head-butting me, his mad 5 minutes before going to the loo! I’ll miss him racing to jump on top of the window frame (3rd flight up) before i get a chance to shut it. I’ll miss his love of boxes and chasing his tail, even in the smallest space. I’ll miss his unbelievably soft furriness, his soft tummy and the little face-licks he’d been giving me of late, little kisses i like to think. I’ll miss him rubbing his face on the side of my glasses, whilst i’m wearing them. It was so amazing to have him so close to me.
    So much i’ll miss………i just hope the pain of losing him won’t prevent me getting another cat in the future. It’s certainly not something i am even considering now…..Osc is irreplaceable….and i’d be very scared of the pain of losing another pet.
    Time will tell.

    The pain is still so raw, and i’m still so confused and scared of how desperately sad i’m feeling. A week is no time really, and perhaps it’ll get worse as it starts to sink in more…that’s a scary thought.

    It’s been cathartic to write about this, thank you for giving me and everyone else the space to express our sadness.

    I felt utterly compelled to collate all the photos and videos of Oscar into one file and i made a little video. I’m not sure how, but i think it helped. It is a a memorial i suppose, a tribute…i can’t watch it without touching the if anyone would like to see it, here is the link:

    Love and heartfelt wishes to everyone XXX

  358. Laura. L says:

    Hi all I lost my beautiful rocco on tuesday he was only 18 months old he had a heart murmur but was a normal healthy cat the vet said that he mite need sum medication when he was older but he was fine that was in july, 2 weeks ago he started breathing really heavy I took him to the vet an she said it seemed as tho he had an lung infection cos he had sum fluid on their so she gave him a jab and sum tablets and she said 2 c how he went. He seemed to hav got betta but the following weekend it all came back an his tummy was swollen so we took him bk 2 the vet she said he needed a heart scan an X-ray bcos it was down 2 his heart an by havein the X-ray the cud determine what medication 2 give him the he wud b ok. Well I droped him off the nxt day first thing and went bk 2 work then I gt the call 2 say that he was very I’ll his heart tummy and lungs where full of fluid and that if she didn’t try an drain it off his heart he wud die in the matter of days but she did tell me that he cud die when they where going the opp and that i sud get down their 2 see him as it mite b the last chance I get, by that poin I was beside my self I cudnt speak i was so upset . Unfortunatly he died when they where workin on him we went 2 c him and he jus looked lik he was asleep it was so hard 2 believe he died that day bcos he was his normal cute happy self and eating his food and goin out b4 this I can’t come 2 terms with his death I loved that little cat soooooo much and my heart is broken I’m so empty inside can stop cryin, I dread comein home cos his not here . Me an my partner keep hearing his bell in the house it’s strange cos we both hear it. I hope this pain goes away cos I’m finding it really hard 2 cope like I’ve lost a child. Thanks for listening guys. Mummy misses u so much rocco I hope ur still here with us love u lots.xxxxxxxx

  359. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your cats’ deaths. It’s heartbreaking.

    I wish there was something I could say to make it easier. Mourning pet loss — especially when your cat was SO MUCH a part of your life — is a long process. I don’t think it ever really ends, either. I lost my cats more than 10 years ago, and I’m still sad whenever I think about them.

    It helps me to think their souls have gone to heaven, and they’re happy, healthy, and watching us with love.

  360. Lynsey says:

    I lost my cat suddenly without warning this morning and its been the hardest day off my life alongside watching my grandma pass 5 years ago on new years day. My 16 year old house cat was called Taz but i called him tazy magoos or magoos magoo ( i have daft names for all my pets) He has been crying during the night for sometime but we were told he had feline dementsure so he cried at 4 as he usually does and i normally get up feed him and put the heating on for him. However this time i went into my mothers room to ask if she could get up with him as i had been up all night feeling ill of chest infection..she didn’t get up. He cried again at 6 oclock and was walking around the landing as i went to the bathroom but again i didn’t take him downstairs to feed him and instead told him to shut up and went back to bed. It was then that my dad got up to feed him and I so regret this as my dad would have showed him no love and harsly shoved and shooed him down the stairs. My mam got up not long after and he had been sick and flopped to the ground she picked him up and lay him on the sofer he then let out cry and drew his last breaths. My mam came up to wake me to tell me Taz was dying i rang down to see him eyes wide open looking scared not breathing but hanging on i was hysterical and i was told to go upstairs to look after the dog.

    The pain and guilt for not being there for him is unbearable i was the closet one to him and he’s always been there at every difficult time i have faced in life.

    The strange this is when my man rang my sister to tell her he was on his way she already knew and answered the phone with taz has died mam i know, she had just dreamt it. Her daughter woke up after the phone call and not hearing the conversation, came running in to say she had feeling something was wrong with one of grandmas pets. So i would like to think it was his time to go but it doesnt help with the guilt or that he is no longer here.

    My grandma lived with us and she doted on him he follwed her everywhere and slept in her bed cuddled into her with his head on her pillow like a human. he meant so much to our family and we could all see my grandam in him as daft as that may sound,and now that last bit of her is gone. i can’t walk past the step where he slept without breaking down and i can’t get his dying face from my mind. i feel such guilt and regret that he died thinking he wasn’t loved and it is eating me up i can’t breathe for tears.

    Im sorry for all the detail and lack of grammer but i can barely see and i’m hoping this will help. My heart goes out to you all

  361. Katty says:

    My cat sophie died on may 5th 2010 and today on 1st december my 4month old kitten barney died in a car accident just like sophie in a blink of an eye, he was playing with me, after tht i went to buy grocerys and then as soon as i was coming back home, i saw him lying outside on street 🙁
    Awful drivers

  362. gayle says:

    My beautiful 2yo cat Sparky was run over out the front of my house this morning. She is normally always at home but this morning decided to follow me walking the kids and the dog to school. It was so quick, I cant believe it has happened. The car didnt even stop. I feel devastated. How do I tell my kids? Should they see her before I bury her. I dont know what to do.

  363. Taylor says:

    I cannot help but feel sadness in that maybe Kismet was lonely without me there since I have been in college for the past 3 years. I wish I could have been there to at least see him one more time and tell him I love him so much and give him one last kiss and hug. My boyfriend said maybe it is better this way so that I can remember the good things about Kismet. I cannot stop running over different scenarios in my head thinking about him. I wish I could wake up and this would be a bad nightmare. I feel lost without this cat I don’t know where to pick up my pieces and move forward…

  364. Taylor says:

    I am away in college and today my mom called me to let me know that my childhood cat passed away. His name was kismet and he was all black with some white spots on his paws chin and nose. He was my best friend during hard times in my childhood and we would sit together on the bed meowing back and forth to each other. (I always thought we could talk to each other). We rescued Kismet in the parking lot of an old Vet Office when we saw his mother dead and he was sitting beside the road just watching cars go by. Kismet was the most amazing pet I have ever had. He knew when my bus would come in the mornings and afternoons and would walk me to the bus stop and be waiting for me to get off in the afternoons to walk me home. Never did he miss one day. He loved to sleep with me and rub he body all over me. He also always knew when I was upset and would always comfort me. We had to move several times due to my parents divorce and he was an outside cat but he NEVER got lost and always knew where his home was. Kismet was around 15 years old and led an amazing life with my family but it kills me to think that we had been best friends forever and I didn’t get to see him out. My mom made the decision to put him to sleep last night after the vet told her he had a large heart murmur and was suffering from renal failure. I am completely stunned with grief and sadness and although I have recently adopted two maine coons of my own I cannot stop crying and missing “my best friend.”

  365. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Denise, I’m so sorry to hear about your cat….I can’t imagine finding my cat on the side of the road 🙁

    I just want to say how sorry I am that you lost your cat.

    In sympathy,

  366. Denise says:

    My partner went for a walk to look for our cat, it was just weird of him to not push our room door open to wake us up this morning. He found our Crunchy a few houses down. He had been hit by a car and someone had kindly lay him under a tree on the side of the road. We don’t have any kids and we always said “who needs a kid when you have a cat like Crunchy?” He had the best personality anyone could have wished for. We lost our baby. That may sound silly for some but i don’t care. He was my baby Crunchy and our whole household will miss him.

  367. HeatherandSmokeyFurever says:

    Thank you all for this wonderful site it has helped me with my pet loss from smokey. I miss her but I am so happy lately I went on a sleepover with one of my girlfriends and we had so much fun! But thanks so much for this website. The first night Smokey died I seriously thought I wouldnt be able to live the next day like literally. But now I decided to get over the pain and tell myself that everyone has a time they have to leave and go to heaven and it was her turn.

    Heather Wood

  368. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hello HeatherandSmokeyFurever,

    I’m glad you have a new kitten, she sounds adorable! She can never replace your beloved Smokey, and you may always feel a hole in your heart because you lost her. But, Midnight Smokey Wood can help you remember the love and fun you had with Smokey, and help you keep Smokey’s memory alive.

    Soon, you won’t be so sad….time will heal the pain of losing your cat….and you will be happy again. You’ll never forget Smokey, but you’ll be happy again.


  369. HeatherandSmokeyFurever says:

    I got a new baby kitten 2 days after Smokey died but she isnt enough to feel the gap Smokey took when she died. The new kittens name is Midnight Smokey Wood. She was the fattest the friendlest and the most energentic out of the litter. She is black like her sisters but she isnt pureblack like the others, she has a little patch of white on her chest.

  370. HeatherandSmokeyFurever says:

    Smokey was 1 yrs old I have had many pets die but she was definitly the worst pain I’ve had. I cry once a night thinking of her and that lasts 10-15 minutes then I fall asleep.


  371. Angie says:


    I’m sorry about Smokey. How old was she?

    I posted above you about losing my cat Shadow. It will be a week ago tomorrow that she died. It hurts a little less every day. I still cry, but not as often.

    How are you doing? You sound as if you are having a rough time.

    I can’t offer much advice. I have never had to deal with a pet dying. Many years ago, when I was in kindergarten, my beagle Susie ran away. But over the years I convinced myself that some nice family had found her and she grew old and died at their house. We had other animals over the years, but my mom had allergies, and I think my parents maybe just didn’t want to deal with pets. Then, during my senior year of high school, we got another beagle: Shelby. But I was a grown woman, living a long way from my hometown when my mom had to have her euthanized because of kidney failure.

    So losing Shadow last Sunday is my first time dealing with the death of a pet. I just want you to know that I understand how sad you are. I wish I could tell you something that would make all of your pain go away.

    I hope you are doing OK.


  372. HeatherandSmokeyFurever says:

    But I feel like shes haunting me in a good way just to watch over me when i sleep or whatever I do.

  373. HeatherandSmokeyFurever says:

    by the way I have buried Smokey in the backyard but i feel like she’s haunting me…

  374. HeatherandSmokeyFurever says:

    It was October22,2010 my baby grrl Smokey died. I had gotten off the bus and my parents were on the porch waiting 4 me and mama asked how my day was and i replied good. I knew something was wrong. Daddy said honey your mother has some bad news 4 you. Mama answered Heather Smokey died at 3pm today, I did the best i could but i couldnt save her, she had leukemia cat cancer. She had leukemia then she was so weak that she fell out of the kitchen window daddy took her to mama and mama stayed with her to final breath… I remember how mama wrapped her in a blanket and left her in the kitchen 4 me. I remember how cold she was, how hard her bones were, how soft her fur was, and how she looked. I feel like any minute now im going to wake up and this is all going to be a night mare and my baby kitty is going to be right there waiting for me… I feel so stressed lately my family seems to yelling at me more which is making me even more stressed. I get in trouble at least 1 to 2 times a day… I feel so lonely lately… Everyday seems to be longer I don’t think I can take this much longer please give me some advice… Smokey was my only best friend the only one I could talk to about my problems and now shes even gone…

    Heather and Smokey

  375. Angie says:

    My sweet Shadow died about 11:30 p.m. Sunday, Oct. 31–about two weeks short of our being together for 14 years. Shadow was about 14 1/2 years old.

    I adopted her from an animal shelter shortly before my 23rd birthday. She was with me during a long estrangement from my family, a move half-way across the U.S., meeting and marrying my husband, adopting a shelter dog–so many milestones. But no matter what in my life changed, Shadow remained Shadow. She was a sweet-and-sour cat, but more sweet than sour. She was the queen of the house, and everyone–me, my husband, and our dog–knew it.

    About two weeks ago my husband and I took Shadow to the vet for what turned out to be a rash on her belly. On the way home, my husband kept commenting that Shadow was listless. That was a Friday. We took her back to the vet that Monday after noting that she refused food (and TREATS!), did not defecate, and struggled to breath. Her heartbeat was also fast and quite noticeable.

    Shadow was diagnosed with a cardiomyopathy that we later learned was secondary to hyperthyroidism (a T4 of 9.9!). She responded well to medicine for a week, then stopped eating Ton hursday, Oct. 28. My husband I checked her litter box about 10 p.m. Sunday and noticed that she had not urinated. I knew then that we were nearing the end. As I cried and petted her, we discussed calling the vet in the morning to find out when he might be able to come to our home to end her misery. The fact that Shadow did not run away as I sobbed loudly was another sign we were near the end. She HATED to hear me cry! She ran into a sliding glass door once during a crying jag.

    My husband put Shadow on my chest one more time. She then moved onto the bed next to me, and I watched as three times in three minutes her heart heaved, seemed to stop, then beat rapidly again. She jumped off the bed and headed off behind the computer desk–one of her sleeping spots. My husband coaxed her out, and she laid down beside the desk. But she wasn’t peaceful. She flopped from one side to another, then her back legs started to kick the wall. I was just standing up when the “death rattle” started. A later discussion with our vet points to her lungs filling with fluid.

    I picked her up. She was virtually lifeless at this point. I held her to my chest and walked her outside. We sat in a chair, and my husband stood in front of us. She struggled a couple of times and then her bladder relaxed.

    We buried her the next day on a 6-acre piece of land we purchased on the day she was diagnosed. We plan to build what we hope will be our final home on that property, so our final home is her final resting place.

    I am overwhelmed with the rush of emotions I have experienced since this precious life slipped away Sunday night. Our dog, Debby, has been a great comfort. Although she and Shadow never bonded–despite Debby’s desperate attempts to befriend Shadow–Debby knows I am hurting and had allowed me to lean on her.

    I hope that Shadow knows she was loved. I have few pictures of her because I did not own a camera over the years. But I have many, many fond memories. Admittedly, I was an irresponsible pet owner when I first adopted her and made many mistakes. But I improved over the years and hope the lessons I learned will carry over to my dog and any pets I adopt in the future.

    Goodbye my sweet girl. You kept me going during some very dark times. If I ever took you for granted, I am sorry. I will love and miss you until the day I pass from this world.

  376. kymberle says:

    My 4 year old love of my life (Finn) died today,the worst is i don’t know what happen, we went into E/R last night late 11-1-10 he was breathing heavy it looked like he was going to explode,he was put right away in oxygen his mouth was open but i prayed whatever this was he would pull thru, i recieved a call from the Vet at 4:30am saying he seems stable and his blood panal was all great,then at 6:30am i had the call that he was not doing well and i should come in..I rushed in to see him still on oxygen and completely a differen’t cat he was dying right before my eyes,and look like he was suffering as well. To put him to sleep crushed me, especially in my arms and fighting to breath, all i could do is hold him tight and say i am sorry, and ball my eyes out..i have cried for ever, and i think about how well he was in such good humor, laying on his blanket covered up, talking to me in his own language i understood,and opening up the laundry room door letting himself and the others to go the bathroom,the list goes on….i don’t have closure i don’t know why god took him at such a young age my heart is heavy…I look at his pictures when we found him ,under a bush in September- cold, scared weighing 1 lb and away from his momma,how he became so handsome and big, looking like he was from finland with his blonde hair and big gold eyes, and hair that felt like angora.. I can’t stop crying

  377. Nicola says:

    My beautiful, blue-eyed ginger cat, Smirre, has died on Friday night, 29 October 2010 at 20:40.

    He was 6 years old and very dear to me. Since I was married and had a baby, I never again gave him my full attention. I feel extremely bad about this.

    On Friday night, I saw him snarling outside, as if he’s fighting with another cat. I brought him in, thinking nothing of it, and he hid under my baby’s bed, still hissing. I got him out from underneath the bed and then noticed that he was salivating fiercely – his whole head was wet.

    At that moment, I though that he might be poisoned and I rang our emergency vet, telling them that I am on the way. I threw blankets in a washing basket, put Smirre inside and covered the basket with another blanket. At this point Smirre was totally disorientaed and could not stand up any more.

    I was in a state of panic as I raced to the vet’s with Smirre in the basket on the seat next to me. My husband stayed at home with our baby. Never on my way did I imagine that Smirre was dying. My only thought was to get him to the vet where he will be helped and made better.

    Driving to the vet was the worst. I could hear Smirre struggling to breathe and I put my hand on the basket, feeling his heart beating like crazy. Arriving at the vet’s, I jumped out, grabbed the basket and ran inside, shaking. Removing the blanket covering the basket, I saw Smirre lying on his side, eyes wide open, not moving. I shouted and cried to have him looked at immediately.

    Smirre was taken from the basket, laid down on the cold stainless steel slab, his tongue blue and hanging out. The vet told me he has been dead for a while. I knew that was not right, I still felt his heart only 200m from the vet’s… but that was it. He was dead. Nothing could be done.

    I collapsed, crying uncontrollably with everyone looking at me. It was so sudden! Smirre was young and healthy! He was my animal soul mate! DON’T DIE SMIRRE, DON’T DIE!

    I decided to have an autopsy done, as I did not know if Smirre was poisoned. Knowing of what he died, would ease me in a way. On my way back home, the vet phoned – Smirre died of a heart attack.

    It is now Tuesday and I have not stopped crying. Today I have an important meeting to go to and I have loads of work to get through. I don’t feel like eating or sleeping. I am filled with guilt for not being a close friend to Smirre for the last few years. For not stopping the car, getting him out of the basket and holding him while he drew his last breath.

    Let there be a heaven for cats, Dear Lord. The thought of this being the final end for my lovely Smirre, is killing me.

    I miss you, my sweet cat friend Smirre. I see you pouncing shadows and hear your purr constantly.

  378. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:


    I’m sorry you lost your cat. I liked reading your comment, because my cat wakes me up the same way yours did! She bats my face gently, and meows.

    It sounds like you and your cat had a very good relationship — and for such a long time! Wow, 25 years. You’re so lucky you had him for that long. I’m sorry he’s gone now – it must feel like a piece of you is missing.

    In sympathy,

  379. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Teri,

    I am so sorry to hear about your cat. That’s awful, and so heartbreaking. Nothing compares to the pain of losing a cat — they offer such love and comfort and joy. When we lose them, we are left with a hole in our hearts.

    My cat Petra was seriously injured when I let her outside, and I had to put her down. It was terrible, and even though it happened ten years ago, I feel the pain as if it happened yesterday!

    What consolation can I offer? I have nothing, except thatI know how you feel. But, at least your cat Fuzzy probably felt no pain. He probably went into shock as soon as the dog came around, and it was probably over very very fast. I know this won’t help you miss him less….but at least he didn’t suffer.

    I wrote this article about dealing with guilt after your cat dies:

    Ways to Deal With Guilty Feelings After Your Cat Dies

    You’re not alone, my friend. Most cat owners feel extreme guilt and sadness when their cat dies…and though time does help, it doesn’t erase all the pain.

    In sympathy,

  380. josh says:

    i jsut lost my cat savy after 25 years he was a black mut so to speak. i got hem as a stray from a friend when i was 10 or 11 i am 35 now a it was like loosing the best friend i ever had, he servived about 5-6 other pets we had growing up. he was given away to live with other friends and famely members at different times in his life, and was even abandend at one point by one of his care takeres, but ended up back with me. he died in may arms and was the bigest hart brak i ever had to go through. i jsut about three weeks ago got a new cat and was verry lucky to find her. if i can give any advise in getting a pet is not to be concernd with the color or type but let the pet choose you weather it be a dog, cat, bird, or fish or even the low matnence pet rock LOL. the one thing i miss about hem is the way he use to wake me up. he would take his paw and gently bat me on the face a meow untail i got up. if you have ever lost a pet my hart go out to you. to any one with any little story any one would like to tell me about ther pet would help thanks. PS: when asked what was my secret was for having such a long lasting loving pet, i told them i keeped feeding hem and petting hem.

  381. Teri says:

    On Saturday, October 9th, my husband and I were getting ready to go down to visit my mother in law in the hospital. My cat Specky wanted in, and my cat Fuzzy wanted out. Well of course this is normal. They go in and out all of the time. 4 hours later we return home, and a pit bull dog is in my back yard laying there in the dirt next to some large shrubs we have. This is the same pit that was in our back yard several weeks ago. He got in through a small hole in our fence (this dog is a stray and extremely malnourished as we found out.) He ran when I opened my slider. Well I called for Fuzz to come, and she didn’t. This wasn’t like her because she always responded to me and came in. After a few hours I called her again, and nothing. I thought about the dog and how my Fuzzy isn’t around…and hoped that nothing happened…because when I looked for her around my property which isn’t that big…I saw nothing.

    So all weekend we looked for her, posted flyers up around the neighborhood, asked neighbors if they’d seen her. Nothing. The stray pit bull and two other small dogs were in a small field area between our house and the houses behind ours. They were very aggressive and territorial about that area…so we called animal patrol but they couldn’t find those dogs.

    Anyway, tonight I looked and looked and called for her, and happened to look to my right and saw a tail and a leg under the shrub where the dog was laying. I ran and got my husband and said, “I think I see her.” It was her. Thankfully I have my husband to take care of something like this because I don’t know if I could. She was definitely dead and the fur around her neck was matted from obviously being choked. I have visions of this pit with my cat’s neck in his mouth shaking her like a rag doll. I can’t imagine how my cat couldn’t have gotten away from him.

    I feel absolutely awful that I let her outside. She was alone and I was not there to stop it or protect her. She was the most loving, happy, and playful cat. I have had her for eight years, since she was born, and she would sit on my shoulder as a kitten…and curl up and sleep. She loved me sooo much and I loved her. I have lost cats before, and I know that time heals the pain. But no pain is ever quite like losing a pet. My husband is such a great support…but he’s the only one. My friends will not understand. I need support from people who know this pain. I’m devastated and filled with guilt about letting her outside.

  382. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your cats’ deaths…it so difficult to accept. Your cats sound so sweet and smart, and as a fellow cat lover, I know how empty life feels without them. I’ve lost two cats I loved so much, and though the pain fades it never really goes away. That’s probably not what you wanted to hear…but it’s the truth. I love and miss my cats so much, even 10 years later!

    In sympathy,

  383. Beverly says:

    Today I had to have my cat Nelson euthanized. He was 20 years and 8 months old. He was blind and arthritic and a bony old man, but he enjoyed his life until yesterday, when his kidneys just quit working.

    I adopted Nelson & his brother Wilson when they were just babies. Wilson had kidney failure & was on fluids for a few months before dying at the age of 13. Nelson’s kidneys started giving out awhile back, but he managed to keep going just by drinking plenty.

    Nelson spent his last evening and day in my lap, not moving much but purring softly. I will be eternally grateful for my veterinarian, who came by my house to evaluate him, then put him to sleep.

    He died in my arms, and went easily. I know I did the right thing, the only thing I could do, and that he had a very good life. But I am so incredibly sad, and just can’t stop crying. We know our pets so intimately, every inch of their bodies, every mood, every sound, every movement and quirk and nuance of their spirits.

    Nelson was fearless, curious, brave, outspoken, and, especially in his old age, as sweet as could be. Sometimes he complained a bit, but he never bit or scratched, and didn’t have a mean bone in his body. He always talked to me, he always came to visit, cuddle and purr at least twice a day, slept with me every night, and always brought his face to mine. He was a very good cat.

  384. Cesar says:

    My beatiful and sweet cat Shiva died yesterday. She was 17 years old, and died of kidney infection. She was at the vet for three days, and I hoped i could bring her home today, because she seemed to be getting better, but she wasn’t…
    I look at her favorite places at home and she’s not there. I loved my sweet cat.
    I have this feeling I will meet her again somehow. She was a loving part of my life for so long!
    Sorry, im crying. Thanks for the site.

  385. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    My heart goes out to you for your cat’s death. It’s so hard to let go of a pet, and to mourn your beloved cat’s passing. It’s one of the hardest things in life, and I wish I could say something to make it better.

    I trust and hope you will feel better in time.

    In sympathy,

  386. Maisie says:

    My amazing cat slate died on sunday night after he was hit by a car. I only found out 2 days later. Slate had a heart murmur which meant he was only going to live for 4-6 years so i was aware he was soon going to pass. But i wasnt ready for him to go after just 3 years! I miss him so much and feel deeply upset as I cant even remember the last time I saw him. I am 13 years old and Slate was my first cat along with his brother Apricot. I cannot imagine how he now feels as he is all alone now. I only found out he died after my mum was putting up posters saying he was missing, when a man approached her saying he’d seen her on sunday night by the road. then she went to the vet and found somebody had turned him in, and he was dead. when i heard i was devistated and i dont know what to do. I wish i could see him but my mum said it was bad.

    I will miss him every day and i keep wishing that he’d come in that night.

    R.I.P Slate. Loved forever

  387. Megan says:

    My 18 year old Siamese cat Shiko had to be put down two days ago and it’s been the worst two days of my life. I miss him so much I feel as though I can barely breath. All I do is cry. The thought of him being gone is overwhelming, but I know we will all see him again oneday in Heaven, at the Rainbow Bridge where is he waiting for all of us.


  388. Lee says:

    My cat Jingles was sick and had to be put down at the SPCA Sept. 10/10. He was 7 years old, and one of the bestest friends I have had in my life. I feel an immense loss, and my apartment feels very empty without him here. My sympathies and condolances go out to everyone who has lost their beloved pet cat, and I sincerely hope you all find some solace in knowing that they are all remembered fondly, and will be loved forever.
    I’m sending out prayers to those of you who are mourning a loss as I am feeling the same way too.
    Blessed be.

  389. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Laura and Candace,

    I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your beloved cats. I wish I had the right words to ease your heartache.

    I just want to remind you that you did the best you could at the time. If you had known that your poor cats would have experienced what they did, you would have done things differently! But a lot of the time, we just have no control over what happens — especially when it comes to health. Well, anything, really.

    Feeling guilty is for people who have done wrong or bad things. You didn’t do anything wrong, and you didn’t deliberately hurt your cats.

    You made the best decision you could at the time. Keep telling yourself that, my friends. You didn’t do anything wrong…and though you miss your beloved cat more than you ever thought possible — and you feel like you’ll never stop mourning the loss of the pets you loved so much — it wasn’t your fault. Please don’t forget that.


  390. Candace says:

    Hello, I just lost my cat Sassy after 16 1/2 years. To say I am completely devastated is the biggest understatement I could ever think of. I cannot eat, sleep or do anything but lie in bed. I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything. I miss Sassy so much. She was a cat that was so very affectionate. You could pick her up and hug her so tightly and kiss her hundreds of times and she loved it. I have one other kitty and if I did that to her she would squirm and scratch to get away. Sassy would lie her head on your shoulder and put her arms around your neck and purr and purr. At night I would lie on my side in bed and sassy would come and stretch out along my side and I would wrap my arm around her and hug and kiss her and she again would purr. I have a husband and two daughters, but they really are getting tired of me and my grief. My husband said “Why are you letting this ruin your life and our lives? You need to get over this.”. Needless to say that does not help. I loved my Sassy so much that I feel so lost without her. I try to cheer myself up by realizing I could have lost my husband or one of my daughters or a family member (although Sassy was a family member) or Sassy had a good long life and I should feel so lucky I had her for so long, or I should be thankful she didn’t suffer too long, but all of this just does not seem to comfort me right now. I feel so selfish as other people have suffered greater losses than me. I feel like my heart is broken into a million pieces and I can’t breathe. Thank you for reading and my heart goes out to all of you that are in grief over losing their beloved pet. I wish I could make your pain go away.

  391. Laura says:

    My cat’s name is Gigi. He was diagnosed with hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy and went into congestive heart failure in April (about 5 months ago) He was given a guarded prognosis and wasn’t expected to live for more than 3 to 6 months. I was just so happy to have extra time to enjoy his presence in my life. We both learned to deal with him taking 3 medications every day!
    I adopted him when he was born in the Arctic and he has travelled with me on airplanes to various provinces in Canada. He was my best friend. His name is Gigi because I thought he as a girl when I picked him out of the litter.
    I have snapped so many pictures and dropped anything that I was doing these past months just to soak up as much of his love and attention that he needed or wanted to give. The plan was to wait and if his heart condition worsened and caused him any distress than I would do would I had to for him!! Unfortunately we had a tropical storm hit Nova Scotia today, and Gigi’s fragile heart went into distress and he had trouble breathing. Our power was out, and I couldn’t phone the vet hospital to see if they were staying open, or call a cab. Meanwhile Gigi became progressively worse and began to struggle for every breath. He died a traumatic death here at home, and this is what I am struggling with. I feel like I let him down. I can never erase those images from my memory. The way he died was cruel and just wrong. I blame myself. I loved him so much. It wasn’t supposed to end like that. Rest in Peace now my sweet Gigi. Please forgive me!!!

  392. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thank you, Andrew and Rebecca, for sharing your memories of your cat.

    It’s SO hard to let go of a cat we loved — I’ll never forget the cats I’ve loved and lost over the years! Even though it broke my heart to lose them, I’m so glad I had the chance to know them.

    In sympathy,

  393. Rebecca says:

    I lost my beloved cat Mishu on June 16. She was just a couple of months shy of 19 years old and I had had her since she was a kitten. I’m having an extremely difficult time getting over her death and coping. She’s the only pet I’ve ever owned as an adult and we traveled the world together since I teach English abroad. Being single and living in foreign countries away from my parents and siblings meant that she was my only family nearby and now I feel so alone.

    I miss her sooooooo much and can’t believe she’s gone. Seeing the light leave her eyes at the vet is an image I can’t get out of my head and is the only time in my life when I’ve witnessed death. On the one hand I wish I hadn’t seen her die but on the other I know that I wanted to be with her, loving and comforting her to the very end.

    Coming to this website makes me feel a little less alone.

    Thanks for letting me purge a little bit.

  394. Andrew says:

    This week we lost George. He was a stray that happened inot our lives a year ago. We fell deeply in love with this on for whatever the reason. Below is his memory.

    Waiting Patiently

    About July of last year we noticed a scraggy orange and white long hair cat feeding from the cat food we keep out during the day for our own cats. After a day or two he made a regular habit of dining outside our home and disappearing at night. One night we followed him to see where he went and found that he bedded down each night around the corner in the long grass and trees. Each morning he would be waiting patiently at 6:30am outside our front door for the days food to be put out. After a few days we were able to approach him and found that he was skin and bones; had no collar and he was declawed. It was obvious that at one time this cat had been taken care of. Was he let out each day from a loving home? Was he lost, dumped or just left to survive on his own when his owners moved. In case he was let out each day we put a collar on him and attached a note asking the owners to let us know he had a home, no results. We approached the local vets and posted pictures without any results.

    His ritual continued throughout August and September and at this point I have to note that he would look mournfully back down the street with a sad expression in his eyes as if he was expecting someone to come walking up the street to retrieve him. Of course, nobody ever did.

    It was becoming a little strange to call out “here kitty” so we decided he needed a name and for some reason “George” seemed to fit. We all know what that meant. This was a turning point in the relationship. He was no longer a stray, he was George. George was taken to the vet’s and given a health check up that included blood tests and his shots since we had no record of his past life. It turned out George had only ¼ kidney function left, so he was a sick kitty that needed to be cared for. As the temperature at night started to dip George allowed us to pick him up and bring him in for the night, upon which he deposited himself in the upper right hand corner of our bed beside my pillow and slept peacefully each night.

    As the weeks passed he decided that he would walk into “his” home. Over time the mournful looks down the street stopped and the sadness in his eyes was replaced with adoration each time he looked at us. To this day I believe he understood that he had a new lease on life. He became a pampered cat over the winter with his own set of demands. One of which was his own bowl of water on my nightstand. If the water was not “fresh” he would sit and wait patiently to be noticed. Of course, once noticed his water was refreshed. Demanding or not he grew on us more and more each day.

    Unlike the other cats who on occasion requested your attention and seemed to be saying aren’t I adoring, George would always trot over (in an “I’m a cool cat” sort of way) to you and admire his new found owners with adoration each time we arrived home. There was so much love in his eyes, a new spark. He would continue this pattern as spring sprang and he was allowed out each day. No longer would he stray from our yard. His favorite place was in the Hosta garden under our front window or the Lilly garden in the back yard. Each time we arrived home he would greet us and waited outside where he would stare in through the storm door for the small helping of wet food he knew would arrive if he just sat there and waited patiently.

    George definitely was pampered, we knew it and so did he and he never stopped showing us gratitude for what he received. George seemed to lose his appetite at one point and did experience some health problems during the late spring and these were taken care of with a visit to the vet much to his displeasure. Once again he was eating heartily (waiting patiently staring through the front screen door for a small helping of wet food he knew would come) and the spark in his eyes had returned.

    Unfortunately the story does not end well. Last week we noticed George was laying in the Hostas and not coming to the door to wait patiently for some wet food as he had in the past and he no longer greeted us when we returned home. In fact he took to not eating at all and distancing himself from us. He also dropped some weight quickly and as a result a visit to the vet was in order. In a matter of days George’s health had declined and it was discovered that he had developed a substantial heart murmur. Unable to find a specific reason we left the vet with an injection to rehydrate him. Everything hinged on the following day. We did not let George out the next morning, instead keeping an eye on him for an indication of improvement, improvement that did not come. It was only a matter of time before his body started to completely give out on him. This would have caused him extreme pain and anxiety. In our minds we knew that the time had come that every pet owner dreads. In our hearts it was an agonizing decision. George, in that short year had given us so much and we did not want to let him go.

    George was given an injection and peacefully slipped from our world surrounded by the family that he had loved and that loved him. He will be cremated and remain with us, always in our memories. If there is somewhere that we owners and our pets are reunited I know that George has taken up residence at the entrance and will be “waiting patiently” for us to arrive.

    Not every cat that is a stray or is dumped finds a family that gives them as much as we did George and he to us. Some die on the street, some freeze, some are attacked by other animals. Please take care of your pets. If you are no longer able to care for them investigate the possibilities for placement somewhere else. They deserve your respect and love.

    As a final note a young black and white cat showed up at our feeding bowl a month ago. We gave him a collar and sent him home with a note. We posted pictures and checked with the local vets with no luck. Call us fools but his name is now “Blackie”.

    I found this on a post from 2003. It’s probably been around for a while, hwever it helped me some and might help you.

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

  395. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Shirl,

    I’m so sorry to hear about your cat’s death. It must have been such a shock, because he was so young!

    There must have been something wrong with his heart — he just wasn’t meant to grow up and become an adult. Some of our most beloved creatures on earth are taken before they have a chance to live a long, full life…and your cat was one of them.

    I think you can be happy when your cat dies by NOT focusing on the pain, sadness, and grief you feel. It’s important to mourn, but it’s equally important to remember your cat with love, peace, and joy. I don’t know how long you’re supposed to mourn for — it depends on your personality!

    So, it’s okay to be sad that your poor cat is gone…and then it’ll be time to honor your cat’s life by remembering him with warm thoughts and love. After all, his life was about love and happiness and playtime 🙂 not sadness and grief.

    I hope this helps, and I’m sorry you don’t have a good picture of him. Maybe you can get a pet memorial stone or use one of his pet toys as a symbol of him, and of your love for him?


  396. shirl says:

    i woke up one morning to find my kitty dead. He was in the basement and lying on her back and i have gone over and over in my mind what may have happened. I took him in when he was about ten months old and do not know where he was living but it was in the middle of winter and he was outside crying. I gave him a home and loved him with all of my heart. He was only a year and a half. I am sick over this and that he had a whole life ahead and it is so unfair. He was beautiful, affectionate, funny, just complete love. I have so much guilt because I did not go looking for him the night before and maybe I could have saved him. He was hard to keep in the house because he loved the outdoors and that is where I found him. I am not sure if he went out that day or night. I am having strange feelings. Everywhere reminds me of him. I imagine him walking in the room and then think how i will never see him or hold him or kiss him. Then I get feelings that I was so lucky to have had him and cannot imagine that I was so lucky to have had him. I am afraid of forgetting him. I only had him for seven months but he was my baby. I have no pictures of him because they did not turn out well being that he was completely black. I was planning of getting his pic for a frame and now I have nothing. I love him and always will but I do not know how to cope. How can you be happy knowing he is dead and should be playing and getting love?

  397. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Christine,

    I know there’s nothing I can say or do to make your pain go away, but I just wanted to say I’m sorry that your cat died.

    It’s such an awful thing to go through….I can’t imagine life without my cat. I’ve loved and lost several cats over the years, and the pain of pet loss doesn’t seem to fade! Our cats are our companions, our source of affection and love and laughter and connection. They’re such beautiful animals.

    I’m probably not making things better by talking about how great cats are! But I just want you to know you’re not alone. I hope that when you’re ready, you are able to love another cat.

    You’ll never forget Mr W, but you’ll remember him with less pain one day.


  398. Christine says:

    My cat died today. Yesterday he seemed fine, then this morning around 7am I popped into the garden to drink my tea. I came back into the house and heard this strange cat yoddle. It sounded like Mr W. It’s the sort of noise he makes when a strange cat is on his turf.

    I went back into the garden to shoo which ever cat was bothering my boy and saw nothing. Then I heard another yoddle and looked down and saw Mr W laying under the barbecue. I wondered what he was doing and knelt down to give him a stroke, but he barely moved. When I picked him up I could tell something was not right. He was really floppy and his front paws we all wet where he had been dribbling on them.

    I carried him into the house and laid him on my bed. He started purring, as he always did, but I could tell he was very poorly. I found an emergency number for my local vets and gave them a call and was told to bring him along at 8am.

    The vet said he did not know what was wrong. His temperature was very low and he was anaemic so I left him there while I dashed of to university. I really thought he would be ok.

    The vets rang me about 12 and said they still had no idea what was wrong with him. He had been X rayed, was on a drip and had been given some drugs and they wanted permission to send some blood samples off to the lab. They also suggested I come over around 3am and bring some of his favourite food, as they could not get him to eat. She did say he that he had perked up a bit, but was still very ill. The ‘perked up’ comment made me feel very positive and still I really thought they would find out what was wrong and he would be ok.

    I cooked him his favourite meal, some cod, and at 3pm called the vets. I was so excited about going to see him. I knew he would be scared, he never liked going to the vets. It was then they told me he had just passed away. I went to see him and spent ages cuddling him and stroking him. He was still warm and he looked and felt like he was alive. I kept expecting him to wake up and give me a face rub. I can’t believe he is dead.

    I just arrived back home, after spending some time with my mum. I have 2 other cats but Mr W the first cat I ever had. He bought so much love and joy into my life. I love my other cats, but Mr W was so dear to me. It was like we had this special bond. He almost loved me too much in some ways, sometimes he could be very needy, but I loved him for that. I’m not marrie and don’t have or want children, so he was my baby. He got me through a difficult time in my life and right now I can not imagine life without him.

    My flat seems so cold and empty and I don’t really want to be here right now. I just wish I had seen him one more time before he passed away, just to say a proper good bye. I feel like he died alone, in a strange place, with strange people and without his mum by his side. I know in time the pain will lesson but right now I would do anything to have him back.

  399. Telly says:

    Susie, just read your post about you losing your 16 year old cat. You said you felt like you’ll never be happy again! I feel the exact same way!
    Gosh, losing a sweet cat that’s been around for a good part of your life is SO difficult. She’s been with me for 1/3 of my life! How does one COPE with that loss?
    they are certainly like a part of your family but even better in a way, for they are ALWAYS there to comfort you, don’t judge you, love you no matter what!
    I love pets with all my heart! They are alot of work, but so worth it! But the sad part is people downplay you losing a pet, especially a cat!

    But a good cat is like Gold! That’s how my cat was, she had a heart of gold, and was so little trouble.. She was such a GOOD cat! i’ll miss her forever! 🙁

  400. Telly says:

    I just lost my beloved cat of 15 years July 15th. She was everything to me.. Funny, when we first got her, our dog was dying of cancer and when we came home she went and laid on his shaved stomach (he’d been having lots of tests done to him) as if to say, “let’s be friends”.
    I think I’ve still got the photo, thank god.

    Then about a month later I got another dog.. a lab mix and immediately as soon as I brought him into the room, she pounced on him, in a friendly way, as if to say, “wow, you got me another dog to play with!”
    Pele was great.. I’m just in a trance now.. sort of not really believing she’s dead, but knowing she is! I saw her die at the vet’s.. that’s ANOTHER issue, I do NOT think they really did MUCH to save her, honestly!
    Wednesday, when I left for work, she was doing fine. She was basically an inside kitty, as she didn’t have much street sense, but had already been outside in the morning… watching the birds, and just having a nice time for herself.
    Then she was also laying on the back porch. We just got it recovered with cement, as it was crackly badly. I wonder if she licked the cement and it was toxic? It was only about a week ago that the porch was fixed and there’s no outside water so we cannot easily wash it off.
    Well, I petted her and stroked her fur, and as usual she starts purring her head off! She loves to be petted… That’s one thing I really loved about her, she even licked your face after you petted and kissed her!
    Pele is such a cool cat! I named her after the volcano goddess as she looked like a little lava flow when she was a kitten..All black and orange…. a tortoiseshell/calico mix.. she DID have a bit of white on her, but the cutest little pansy face as her chin was tan colored and she had orange stripes on one side of her face and the other half was real dark! A sort of harlequin faced cat..

    Yeah, even the vet who was treating my dog for cancer thought she was a really cute kitten.. He’s the one who said her face looked like a pansy.
    BIG yellow eyes! well… she was not eating so great a few weeks ago… but recently we fought this good cat food, by Paul Newman, that she LOVED! She was eating a can a day at least, and wouldnt’ even wait for me to take it out of the can! She was eating it right FROM the can!
    I thought.. oh, good her appetite is improving.. But she was throwing up almost every day.. for the past several weeks and I wasn’t sure why.
    we’re not in good condition money wise and I didnt’ really have the money