Should You Adopt a Cat After Your Cat Dies? 45

After your cat’s death, you may wonder if you should get another kitten or cat right away. Here are a few things to consider when deciding to adopt a cat.

cat died should i adopt another catIn Cat Sense: How the New Feline Science Can Make You a Better Friend to Your Pet, John Bradshaw describes the fascinating quirks cats have. He helps us with understanding their body language, keeping their environments sufficiently interesting, and becoming more proactive in managing both their natural hunting instincts and their relationships with other cats. Cat Sense offers humane, penetrating insights about the domestic cat that challenge our most basic assumptions and promise to dramatically improve our pets’ lives – and ours.

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If you recently lost your cat, you may be wondering if you should adopt another one. “I hear many people say they don’t want to replace a cat they’ve lost,” says writer and publicist Sandra L. Gehring, author of Breaking Your Own News. “But honestly, adding another pet to the family was the only thing that made me feel whole again. We waited 11 months after Cooper died before we brought home our new pet, but that entire time the house felt empty without a pet. It took some time for the initial shock and pain to abate, and to deal with my husband’s sudden spinal cord injury…but a house isn’t a home and a family isn’t whole without a pet.”

Whether or not you should get a cat after your cat’s death depends on your personality, lifestyle, and home situation. The decision to get another cat boils down to one simple thing: what makes you most comfortable.

Should You Get a Cat After Your Cat’s Death?

In When Your Cat Dies – Help Mourning Pet Loss From Cat Lovers, I describe a few ways to say good-bye to your cat. Here are a few tips for saying hello…

Be aware of how getting a new cat can help you heal

“I highly recommend getting a new cat after your cat’s death,” says animal lover Julie McClure. “Another cat will never take the place of the cat you just lost, but in a matter of days or weeks, this new cat will love you unconditionally. A cat will demand attention, demand feeding and demand lots of your time. You won’t be able to help starting to fall in love with the little guy! He will never replace your past cat, but he can fill the void left from your cat’s death. Cat death is not quite so hard if you have some other little cat who wants to cuddle and kiss your face.”

Honor your cat’s death by living in the moment

“To adopt a new cat is to honor all your previous pet has taught you about unconditional love and living in the moment, not ‘forgetting about them.’” says Sid Korpi, author of Good Grief: Finding Peace After Pet Loss.

should you adopt a cat after your cat dies

How to Know if You Should Adopt a Cat

“I cannot feel as though I’m betraying his/her memory by moving on if I ask my dead cat’s spirit to help me find the next exactly right-for-me cat who needs my love and a good home. Then I sit back and trust that when the time is right, that former cat ‘angel’ will play matchmaker between that next new four-legged/two-winged family member and me.”

If you feel guilty because of your cat’s death, read How to Cope With Guilt After Your  Pet Dies.

Allow your new cat to be his own “person”

“It can be a mistake to get a new cat too soon,” says Flo, whose pet’s death affected her deeply. “Allow yourself to grieve over the one you lost, and to grow accustomed to being without him. When Punkin died, I got two littermate kittens the very same day. Big mistake! I did not allow myself to grieve over my cat Punkin, and that might be why it took me so long to come to terms with her death. If you get a new cat, don’t look at it as a replacement for the one you lost. He deserves to be treated as his own cat self.”

Don’t compare your cats to one another

Some people think it’s better not to get the same color, sex or breed as the cat whose death you’re dealing with. Others love a certain breed, and can’t imagine living with another type! Again, it depends on each person. But one thing is the same for everyone: don’t compare your cat.

You may think things like, “Fluffy would never pee on the carpet” or “Sammy always came when I called.” Getting a cat is like parenting, and it’s good to remember that, like children, no two cats are alike. They have their own habits, personalities, tastes, quirks, strengths, and weaknesses, and they should be loved for their unique selves.

If you’re still mourning your cat’s death, read 75 Ways to Survive Your Pet’s Death. In it, I describe 75 ways to cope with pet loss – I interviewed pet experts, veterinarians, grief counselors, and pet owners to discover the best ways to get over a dog or cat’s death.

My heart goes out to you if you lost your cat. A pet’s death is surprisingly difficult to face; I hope it helps to know you’re not alone. I welcome your comments below.

May you make the right decision about when to adopt another cat, and may you find the right feline friend to share your home and heart.


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45 thoughts on “Should You Adopt a Cat After Your Cat Dies?

  • Caroline

    We just lost our beloved cat 4 days ago. We had him for 14 and 1/2 years, from the time he was about 3 months old. I have never loved an animal as much as I love my cat- same for my husband. We are both absolutely lost and devastated. It seems like the pain will never end.

  • zoya

    My daughter kitty name was Pari. Means angel. And she was truly an angel. Her first bath, her first kiss.. her milk bowl.. everything is a memory… i need her. I want her back… Only thing i asked my god was why my Pari… why she. When she played football with me, i promised her that i will play with her kittens too… she was nt kitten.. she was my daughter… she would place my finger in her mouth and see my reaction.. will i shout at her or raise my hand on her..? But i would just cuddle her. Sometime she was stubborn. Her first pee was on my own bed. She would climb on me n kiss me.. i didnt love anyone like that…. pray for my Pari…

  • zoya

    I lost my kitten today… n i cant resist the pain m going through… it was a fraction of second that it happened… i dont know how will i come over this pain.. but its irrisistable. I loved it like my own child. Took care of it like i could feel its heart mind and soul.. i could understand its need. It needed my lap to sleep, she wanted me ( only me ) to feed her.. she was just 35 days old. She could sense me , feel me.. she loved only blue ball… she would hold the ball in her hands and walk on two legs.. i loved her like anything… i just love her and miss her so much.. but i lost her today… as soon as m back to home from market or something, first thing she did was to hold me and just kiss my face.. she would ask me to hold the bottle and she also held at the same time.. n now she is not with me… and it s so painful… i wish i could trade my life for hers… i just wish she was here with me… !!!

  • Laurie Post author

    I’m sorry for your loss, Judith Ann. Adjusting to a home without a cat is painful and difficult, and it takes time. It sounds like you had such a sweet life with T’bear Sterling! Your description sounds so wonderful, and I know how sad it is to be without a cat. They bring such life and warmth to our homes, don’t they?

    I don’t think the pain of missing your cat ever truly goes away…I wish I could say you’ll heal completely from the grief and you’ll never feel sad about your T’bear Sterling…but I think we’ll always feel pangs of grief and sadness that we lost beloved animals. I have a cat and 2 dogs right now, and I love them deeply! And yet, I still think of the cats I’ve had in the past, and the dog…and my heart aches just a little.

    That’s what love is, I think. Bittersweet memories. Even when our cats are alive, there are bittersweet experiences – like the cat hair and furrballs and litterboxes! My dogs drive me nuts sometimes with their barking woof woof woof!

    Here’s another article that may help – especially the comments from other readers:

    How to Cope With the Pain of Missing Your Cat

    I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, for sympathy and healing, freedom and even joy as you grieve your loss and know that your beloved T’Bear Sterling is resting in peace. Your souls are forever united, and your spirits will join together again one day.

    In sympathy,

  • Judith Ann Cathey

    My Precious Little boy Tbear Sterling, Siberian passed recently just 3 /12 weeks ago. He truly was the love of my life and there is such a thing as loving to much. He was smart at a whip, ruled the house and like other posts was my alarm clock and relied on him every morning. Up at 5:30 am sometimes earlier, to get his treats, go outside too get some air, come back in wants his breakfast of wet food. He had dry food all day long should he need to snack. Then up on the coffee table to be brushed and brushed and brushed….pick him up to cuddle…now time for my coffee and he would lie down by me. As soon as the shower went on he would go to his room and settle on his perch to say hello to the neighbors walking their dogs….everyone said Good Morning Sterling!

    Home at night he would come running with his little bell jingling to say Hi Mom, he would wait by my bed so I could change clothes, then run to his room for his treats then back to the coffee table to be brushed, brushed, and brushed….now it’s time to go outside and wonder around or just lie in the front watching the squirrels or looking absolutely beautiful sitting just gazing.

    He would then come back in wanting to be brushed, brushed, and brushed and then cuddle on my lap. That was day in and day out until one day I brought home a new fish in a bowl. Oh my a new friend…..the water level kept going down on a daily basis until he was caught in the act drinking and going nose to nose with Maxie the fish….and of course he lost interest.

    When do I adopt a new little fur ball, do I get one or two and do I want all that hair all over the place again, and what do with all the cat trees, four beds all over the place when a new little guy/gall come to join Maxie and me…should I get all new stuff…..Sterling’s waterfall is still flowing, his dry food is still waiting to be eaten. I drew a Heart in his sand box waiting to see if Sterling has visited me…..he did however, jump up on the bed and then down again, he has woken me up in the am with his bell jingling and I hear his meows but ever so faintly…..I truly miss my little boy.

    When does the hurt in my heart go away?

    • Tiffany

      Reading this post truly made me cry and I am deeply sorry for your lost. I know how it feels to lose a furry friend and it hurts it really does. I lost my cat of 11 years (the cat grew up with me) in October and I was still sad and hurt by it months later it does take some time to heal the hurt but I realized that even though I did miss my other cat dearly that I needed another on I got my new cat about 2 months after I lost my first one. My new cat is not replacing my new cat I just came to realazion that another cat needed to have a loving home with someone to take care of it. If you want another cat you just need to wait until your ready. I believe my older cat Fuffly lead me to my new cat.

      Much love

  • Laurie Post author

    Dear Tiffany LeAnn,

    I’m sorry your cat Fluffy died, it’s so hard to say good-bye to a beloved pet! My cat was called Fluffy, too, and I still miss her. It’s been 15 years and I still love her…but I am also very much in love with my current cat Nunki and my two dogs, Georgie and Tiffy.

    I can’t tell you if you should adopt this cat because I don’t know you or how much time you need to grieve Fluffy’s death. But I do know that I’m so glad to have my pets in my life, and my home isn’t the same without animals! It’s different for everyone, but I’m one of those people who readily adopts new animals and can let go of my cats and dogs who have passed on. I believe God is holding them, that their spirits are alive, and that we’ll meet again one day. I also believe that animals here on earth need homes, and if we can open our homes and lives to a new pet, then we shouldn’t hesitate!

    What do you think — do you feel ready to get a cat?

    Also…is it possible to foster this new cat for a weekend? That may give you time to decide. That’s how I decided to keep my second dog, Tiffy 🙂 I was very clear that I would just keep her for 3 nights, and then make a final decision. Could you do that?

    Blessings, let me know what you decide! I’ll keep you in my prayers…

    – Laurie

  • Tiffany LeAnn

    I just recently lost my beloved cat Fuffly. I had him for 10 years ever since he was born. I knew something was wrong with him but I wasn’t sure what so I was going to take him to the vet to get him checked out in a few days but the night of October 1st when I got off of work he came up to me and I sat down and petted him and I knew, I knew that this was gonna be my last night with him. Something in me said something’s really not right so I spent all my time with him that night and in the morning when I woke on October 2nd I saw him laying there not moving and I knew something was really wrong so we took him to the vet and used there emergency services and they took him back and found out that he had cancer and it started to attack his liver. We had to put him down that day and I miss him so much. He was my king, my everything. I was thinking about getting another cat and I just never went out and looked for one but while I was working one of my coworkers were talking about how they can’t keep there cat because there mom is allergic and we started talking about him and he sounded like he looked like my fuffly. Her cat really does look like my Fuffly and she wants to give him to me and I really want to take the cat and give them the love they need. I know he will never replace my Fuffly. I just love that type of cat, it’s my favorite breed of cat. So I’m just wondering if I’m moving to fast because my cat died a month and a half ago or if this is a sign maybe that this is the cat who needs my love and care? Any advice would be great. Thank you 💕

  • Laura

    Between September and December last year my I lost my 30 year human relationship and my two senior cats died within a month of each other. They had each battled chronic illnesses for a couple years, and I was emotionally exhausted after trying and trying to help them get better, and ultimately just providing as much comfort to each of them as I could. I was an emotional basket case for months, in a catch 22 situation of missing my cats and a feline presence so much, but terrified of getting another cat who would eventually get old and sick and die. I just didn’t think I could bear that pain again. I was very focused on my loss, and couldn’t shake it for the many months it took me to decide to take a one year old brother and sister pair of kitties from the shelter. Best thing I could have done for my well-being, and the cats made out pretty well too. I’m still overly cautious with them and a little neurotic about them getting sick, but my house feels so much more like my home again. These two are not in any way replacements for the cats I lost, who were irreplaceable and who stole my heart and didn’t give it back when they left. But this new generation of kitties is lovable in their own way, I am able to focus more what I have and less on what I lost. These cats are different from those cats, and yet there is a familiarity in behavior and in the bond we are forming among. I take great comfort in that. When the time was right, I just woke up one day thinking of the new lives I might bring into my home to help me move forward.

  • Leslie

    Nearly two months ago my family and I suffered from a great loss when we had to make the choice to put our dear Sammy to sleep. Sammy was 11 1/2 years old and was the most amazing cat. We adopted Sammy at 1 1/2 years old and was really unsure how he would fit into our family after the neglect and abuse he was forced to live in. It took about 6 months before he actually acknowledged any of us and from then on he was everywhere we were. Sammy came to our whistles and sat on command for treats he never once climbed on tables or counters. He loved to chase small bugs around but would cry at a mouse. He was a built in alarm clock demanding his breakfast at 4 am and ran through the house sounding like a herd of cows. Losing Sammy is heart breaking and although I have no intention on replacing my King Sammy I am considering getting a kitten and my oldest son(15 years old) is completely against my decision. I understand that getting a kitten will never bring my Sammy back but our home feels so incomplete. I don’t want to upset my son but I want us all to feel better and think we would benefit from the love of a kitten

  • Laurie

    Dear Cerrin,

    I don’t know what to say! I don’t know if you should adopt a new little kitten after you lost your cat Luna…I wish I had some magic words of advice, but I just don’t.

    Remember that a new kitten won’t fill the void Luna left. You’ll love your new cat, but in a different way. The question is, will you still feel alone and lonely even with a new kitten?

    I think the most important thing is to process your grief about losing Luna. Allow yourself to feel the pain and heartache – which I know you’ve done! Don’t expect a new cat to fill the void she left, because a new kitten will be totally her own self. She won’t be Luna.

    Is it possible to foster the kitten for a week or two, and see how you feel?

  • Cerrin

    Hi, in late May this year I lost My cat Luna. Unfortunately I didn’t get the long life with her as I hoped I would. She was only 2 years old, she left behind her two 1 year old kittens.
    She was honestly my rock, my best friend and my guardian angel. I got her just after I was discharged from hospital (I was there for depression and suicidal tendencies), I was really struggling so I decided to rescue her. It was the best decision I ever made.
    When I got Luna she was close to feral. She didn’t know how to play or to love. About 8 months later she had her accidental kittens, two boys, then she started to really changed. I managed to get her to play and then she started to love. We would have our cute little conversations and when I was sad she bit my leg, she did all these little things. I miss them so much.
    Together me and her made our improvements, we changed together. Without her I would not be here today, I loved her like she was my baby.
    I cannot express to you how much she meant to me, there are just not enough words.
    I’ve never gone through this big of a death before.
    I still have her boys and I also have a cat we rescued. But since her death I’ve just had this massive void left inside me, no matter how many hours I work or study I can’t fill the void.
    Her death has caused me so much pain and I miss her so so much. I replay the night she died over and over again in my head.
    I’ve been thinking about getting a kitten but I’m really not sure, I don’t know how to deal with it and my first thought was I need someone to help me through this rough time.. Just like Luna did. But I’m so stuck. I found the kitten I want, but I don’t know if I should get her or not.

    Basically I’m asking for your advise, anything you have to say please say! I have no idea what to do and I just need a little help. Thank you all!!!


  • Laurie Post author

    Dear KB,

    I’m sorry for your loss. Jacob was with you for such a long time – it’s hard to imagine life without him! I understand the feeling that a cat makes you feel whole. I feel the same way…I have a cat and two dogs, and can’t imagine life without them.

    I don’t know if it’s too soon for you to get a cat, because we all heal in different ways. It’s 100% possible that adopting another cat will help you grieve Jacob’s death and be happy again! I know I’d get another pet fairly quickly after losing mine.

    If you feel like you want to get another cat because you have room in your heart to love and cherish him or her, then I think you need to listen to that still small voice and do what you feel is right. Just remember that getting a cat won’t replace Jacob — your new cat will be very different in personality and habits.

    Another possibility is fostering a cat. This might be a more gentle way to ease your way into another pet after your cat’s death.

    My condolences on your loss…and I admire your bravery and big heart! There is another cat out there who is waiting just for you and the comfort, love, and companionship you offer.


  • KB

    Just a short time ago I had to put Jacob, my cat of 17 years, to sleep. Already I feel lost and lonely without him. I’ve considered looking for a new cat very soon, probably the next day or two. I feel having a cat makes me whole. Am I rushing it?

    • Richard Beman

      Hello and I am deeply sorry for you loss. My advice is to wait a bit. Yesterday I cried more than I ever had in my life. My 23 year old Tuxedo cat ( Mitzi ) passed away from a combination of renal failure and the ravages of old age.. The day before she died she purred when I held her and never failed to struggle to use her litter box. She was a strong willed cat and every time she looked into my eyes she said “I love you for taking good care of me”. I have had other cats, but this has been by far the hardest for me to deal with. We had total love of each other, which is irreplaceable. Bear in mind, I am no stranger to loss. My parents, aunt died horribly from cancer and many friends have passed away. I am a young 63, but I don’t think my heart can tolerate another cat loss. If you are a younger person, you may be stronger. God bless you and good luck..

      • Gail Peplinski

        I feel the same as you Richard. My tabby cat Sophie accidentally got out and ran away exactly one month ago today. I have never grieved so hard in all my life. I have no closure. I don’t know if my poor 64-year-old body can tolerate another grief like this one. I am a young 64 but my heart can’t take it. I keep imagining all the awful things that might have happened to her. I did all my due diligence trying to find her. She was my fifth cat in 40 years. I think I am done with pets.

  • Laurie

    Thank you for being here, and sharing your experiences. I know your courage and honesty will help other people decide if they should get a cat after their beloved one died. It’s such a difficult decision, and I don’t think we ever know for sure if we’re ready to open our hearts again until after we adopt a cat.

    May you find healing and peace, and may you know when the time is right to get a cat after yours passes.

    In sympathy,

  • Heidi

    My cat died of old age and I went and bought a new kitten. It was too soon, I just couldn’t love the new kitten and it wasn’t fair so I rehomed it. Now I feel terrible. I have lost my beloved cat and gave away a kitten because I couldn’t love it. Please do not rush out and try to find another cat to love without thinking of the consequences. You need to heal and grieve. Then when you are ready you can get another. Some people can do it, I just wanted to let you know how that backfired on me. The kitten is happy in his new home and loved as he should be. Wasn’t the right kitten or timing for me.

  • Jerry

    My cat died last night. He was only 7 months old but all the time I spent with him was amazing. He never jumped on kitchen shelf or eat anything without my permission. He never pee on the carpet even when he was ver little. He borned in my house and since then we raised him. Its only 7 month but I cant tell how much pain I am feeling at the moment. I cried all night and still I miss him. He was fine until my blind neighbor drove his car on to him. Its was not that bad from outside but he struck badly from inside. His kidney failed and since last 4 days he didnt eat anything. I tried continuously to feed him water or something but nothing worked on him..He was nice cat and even if I get a new cat no one can take his place. I wish we had spent some more time together

  • Phyllis

    It has only Ben an hour since we buried Hobbes.i feel like I wish it were me. We can never measure up to the wonderful beings they are I have two more cats, one is Hobbes brother, and a Dennis the menace named stitch.he is 4. Also 2golen rescues. I feel hollow and empty. I know I gets a little easier bout this is the worst ever. This sucks. Pang x

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    Dear Hale,

    Thank you for being here, and sharing about your cat. He sounded like he was so important to you, and you miss him so much!

    Perhaps you could consider fostering a cat, to help you decide if you’re ready to adopt another cat. Or, if you feel like you’re ready to open your heart and home to a cat, then maybe you don’t need to foster a feline!

    When you think about getting another cat, how do you feel? I don’t think you’ll ever be totally free of the pain of losing Jasper. I lost my cat 15 years ago, and I still feel sad when I think of her. But, the pain eases up a bit.

    I wish you all the best as you decide if you should adopt another cat after your cat died…may your grief ease and may your heart open up so you can love a cat again!


  • Hale

    Hello. I had my cat for 11 years. But last month his lungs started to not work and he was suffocating. So he also couldn’t eat. It was heartbreaking to see him like this. We did try steroids…. But that made him worse. So I had to make the decision to put him down….. I was holding him the entire time. Jassper was able to help me threw everything. I have been in deep deep depression, but he was the one who helped me out of it. Now without him I am falling more and more in. So, I guess my question is, when do you know that you’re over your cat? When is it okay to get another? I know I need a companion like him again because otherwise I will fall and not get back up. When does the pain go away? How do you know that it’s gone? When should I get another cat?

  • Frank

    Its been a week since she was mauled to death by a new neighbors large dog that jumped over the fence for the vicious deed,she was 12 and she had been with me from the beginning…she was a really good cat,her personality was amazing.
    I miss her! and I’m so angry that I wasn’t there to protect her…you can image what I would like to do to that dog! I wouldn’t piss down the owners throat if his stomach was on fire!
    I did ask them to make sure their dog couldn’t jump over the fence,ya don’t worry it wont,I was told.They didn’t know! I found out they just got the dog ten days prior to moving in!

    Its going to take a while before I get over this…and now what? if somewhere down the road I get a new friend…how will I be able to let her/him out in the yard without watching every second…build a bigger fence? install barbed wire? basically build a prison wall around my house…I’m pissed!! I don’t know what to do!

  • Laurie Post author

    Dear Carolyn,

    Thank you for being here – it sounds like you’ve been through so much with your beloved furry friends, and with your own life! I agree, there is no way a person can give us what we get from our cats and dogs. My husband often teases me that I love our dogs more than I love him – and I think he’s jealous that I don’t cook for him the way I cook for our dogs! But I tell him that he is an adult who can cook whatever he needs whenever he needs it…my dogs need me to take care of them. And they love me so much, and they never question me. 🙂

    I wrote an article called Should I Put My Dog to Sleep – and the veterinarian I interviewed gave advice that applies to cats, as well. She said, “If you can save your dog or cat even one day of discomfort, you must.”

    I can’t give you advice on your cat or other beloved critters. Not even a vet can tell you what you should do! But it’s so important to put our feelings and grief second to what’s best for our animals.

    Here’s the whole article, which may help you:

    When I have to say good-bye to a dog or cat, I always open my heart for another beloved critter. There are so many quirky, lovable, needy, wonderful animals out there who need good homes…I always focus on the gift that I can give a new animal if one of mine has to leave me. No animal can ever fully replace the one I lost – they’re all unique and special. Some more “ours” than others! Definitely, I connect with some of our pets more strongly than others.

    I don’t know if that makes sense. I don’t have any answers for you – or advice – but I want you to know I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Blessings and sympathies,

  • Carolyn

    Sorry continued one more time…I’m ashamed to admit a couple of times I briefly wished it was Turbo n not my Sammy Cakes,who was sick,if I had to choose. Like I said I love our Turbo,n he does funny things to make me laugh,but he won’t use the litter box,he wants out to use the r room he wants the faucet ran to take a drink a lot instead of the bowl,he only wants to be pet or lay with you when HE wants to be. I need the want to be loved n needed like my Sammy. Our Shelby loves to with me n loves to kick my feet whi ch I love(my Heidi did that too) but like I said I can’t hold h er or put my arm over or around her in bed to cuddle or she whines. My end to my very long story is,as I’m writing this, my Sammy is all snuggled up in bed,against my tummy in the crook of my arm and u know the day is coming soon when he won’t be there anymore and he comforts me through everything. He always has. My Shelby if with me on the bed too. They both seem know when I need someone to talk to. I lost both of my parents 3 months to the day off each other when I was pg with my 3rd child. I was only 24. I’m the youngest of 4 n they had all moved to TX before our folks passed. My husband left us not long after our 3rd was born. (rough yr n a half). I then married again n he abused me. A couple yrs later at church,I found the best man a woman could ask for! We then had 3 children together( 6 complete). This yr week be 20yrs together n we’ve had a tough time making end meet all these yrs n we lost his father n now his mom is in poor health. He’s my best friend but,there’s just times when u can’t talk to your husband n I don’t want to burden him or my children n my friend lives about an hr away n leads a very busy life,so there’s really nobody to talk to out here in the country n you just need someone to talk to. Well my Sammy has been that for me more than anyone. My Shelby lets me know she’s here for me,here lately,she’s been laying towards the grad my bed,very close to me,not up against me,but close instead if at the foot it’d the bed or under the covers(she loves that!) Maybe she knows I’m going to bed her more,now. I’ve been going through a lot,especially the past few yrsI also had a tonsilectomy almost 3 yrs ago n the doc messed up nI lost my sense of tasting the right way. I had surgery again a yr later by a diff doc to remove the scar tissue. I’m getting some tastes back a little. I don’t know if it’ll ever be whole, but it rocked my world. Every lawyer said there was no way to win malpractice as the nurses n staff wouldn’t testify against the doc. That has all caused some health issues n some depression which my Sammy had been right there for me through all of this. Letting me talk,cry,get angry all of it. For now I have my baby here to help me,but I’ve been thinking maybe my son is right,when my Sam is gone,there needs to be a kitty there to snuggle with n talk to it about how their bother Sammy was n how much I miss him n need the chance to give that kind of love to a new baby. Thinking if that new makes me terribly sad n kind of guilty cause he’s still here with me,n getting another cat now to help tendon m transition before he’s gone,is it as I’ve said he didn’t like other cats around him. We’ve tried over the yrs. I think it’d because he wants to be the only cat(except Turbo,for now) but I believe that he knows how much I need a special one to talk to,that he won’t want me to be sad n lonely without him.I can’t imagine losing him n feeling that hole n not having a little one to cuddle with n hello me through it. Even my husband can’t fix that hole in a way my Sammy helped with a lot of holes. You just need a special cuddle friend to share certain things with,that guy can’t with a person. Sentinels can sense n feel things I think maybe better than we humans clan. I’m just torn at the thought of even losing him,that I don’t know what to do. I know every person is different,but I just don’t know if I can make it through losing him,without something to snuggle. . I love him so much,I will be empty without him! Any advise would be helpful. Thanks for letting me ramble. Thank you for this site. Just writing this had been therapeutic. Your Friends, Carolyn,Sammy,Shelby n Turbo

  • Carolyn

    (sorry story continued)…. diet,med and subcutaneous fluids every day/other day. The vet said she didn’t know how much time was bought wether a couple of weeks or a couple of months etc…but for now he isn’t in any pain. He eats(he ate only part of a couple cans of the food they gave us,but preferrs the dry food they gave us with warm water added to make a broth)which he needs the fluid anyhow. He gets up and goes to the r room,eats/ drinks, then comes back to me..and gets as close to me as possible and goes to sleep in my arms. I have had dine health problems which has also caused some depression so have been laid up a bit more recently,so he comes and lays with me any time I’m in bed. I had my husband ask the vet when and if we should have him…I can hardly say it ..put to sleep. And he said they said we would know when. That’s so unbelievably hard to hear! That’s like waiting for a bomb to go off, but not knowing how long until it blows up! Part of me wishes he would just go quietly in his sleep,but then I think how devastated its be if I woke up n he had passed in my arms,or if I left the house and can’t back to find he had passed all alone. The only comfort of having it done wild be knowing I wad with him and that he wild go without cherishing every moment with him,but like when I stumbled upon this Blessed site,he asked me to cry and hold him and talk to him and tell him I wished that he could tell me what he wanted me to do. And to tell him I wished I knew how long wet had together and that I love him mite than I could ever tell him and pay that he somehow understands my words. I have a sweet mini full blood dachshund we adopted from the shelter about 5 yrs ago and she’s my little shadow and wants to be with me everywhere and sleep by me. They guessed her age to be roughly 2-2 1/2 yrs old when we got her,but she like to be held or cuddled. We think maybe she might have been abused. Anyway as much as I love her,she hasn’t been with me as long or gone through as much with me as my boy. And get not liking to be held or cuddled is sad to me because having an animal to cuddle is comforting and therapeutic. I had the most special dog in the whole world from the age of about 4 until about 6 months after my first child was born(I was 21) she was the best! When I married n moved my mom said I had to take her cause she wouldn’t be happy without me. So we did had I to temp move back with my folks after my baby’s birth. We had to have her out to sleep because with old age age could barely walk up n down the 2 steps to go outside. She never cried in pain,but we could tell she was suffering. I couldn’t go with my mom to take her as I knew it would kill me. So I gave her my last kiss and told her I would always love her forever I’ve had several poets over the yrs since but none for a long time as either moves or illness of the animal etc… Until we got our Sammy. I live him as much as I did my Heidi and I never thought that possible. Except for Heidi and one other dog I had(which we had to give up because of a move n the landlord wouldn’t allow her. But my cousin took her and I got to see her on occasion which she was still in my heart my baby). Now I know my heart will soon be breaking again(even more than right now). My oldest son says I need to get another Siamese when Sam Sam is gone to help me. We have done outside cats that have just down up over the past few yrs that we feed n stuff,but Sammy has never allowed any other cat around him except 2. The1st Garfield,which was abandoned by neighbors who moved n he adopted us n we had to have put to sleep from heart disease aboutl 3 yrs ago. The 2nd one Turbo,came to us and had been get by someone or something. He had a hole in his leg n I took care of him and got him healed up. He’s about used up his 9 lives. He tore a hoke in his side somehow a couple yrs ago n I held him with that too. Both cats wanted to be inside/out because they had been born outside. We still have Turbo,buthe is the only cat I’ve ever known that doesn’t want to cuddle or be held unless HE’S in the mood n has to come to you. He’s very stubborn n independent. I’ve never known a cat that didn’t want to be cuddled n loved n spoiled until him,except the wood strays we come across. (We live in the country) I love him but I’m ashamed to say only because he lives here n he needs us.

  • Carolyn

    I have a BEAUTIFUL Blue Point Siamese, Sammy. He just turned 14 Dec,2013. He is just 6 months younger than my youngest of 6 children. My husband got him for me for my birthday in Feb,following the birth of my youngest child.He has had a few incidences over the past yr or so,where we thought he might have had a sm stroke. He would walk kind of sideways etc just act a little different. We took him to the vet but they couldn’t tell us anything certain. He would seem to pull out of it and be pretty much back to his old self. Until this yr. We noticed he seemed to be kind of walking a little crooked again and a little slower and slowly losing weight. We just thought it was just him getting up there in yrs,since we had taken him in before and nothing found. A few weeks ago I told my husband we needed to get him back in as I noticed ithought he was getting a little worse. He said we could as soon as payday came. We have really been struggling financially as a lot if other families are these days. Last week he was so bad and I noticed he wasn’t really eating much and he seemed to always be wanting to get water from his bowl or faucet,but not really drink much he’s a very picky eater and believe it or not,he doesn’t really like canned food or tuna,but I was worried that maybe his food was getting a little too much for him to chew(he’s lost a few teeth from age),did research n we’ve found the easiest to chew best dry food on the market, for him. I told my husband he’s lost to much weight keys gets any canned food we can get him to eat(thinking it was tooth related,until we could get him to the vet. A week ago Wed night I put a little water in his canned food and warmed it. My husband have it to him after I went in to the r room. I heard him stay to meow over and over and my husband called for me to come there. When I got there,my hand said he had eaten then started meowing and acting in pain. I went to him and he was laying there with his head down and couldn’t stand up. He meowed quietly a few times as if he want hurting as bad,but still couldn’t stand at that point. I went nuts and started bawling and told my husband I didn’t care if we had the $ or not and begged him please take him to the vet which is on his way to work(we live in rural area no vet hospital open around). He was finally able to stand up and go jump in the couch and lay down. I told my husband I think he ate too fast and it was probably the most my baby had had in his tummy at one time lately,even though he didn’t really eat all that much if the can. Anyway my husband took him on his way to work first thing(as we have 1 working car right now). He later called me and said the vet had done blood work and diagnosed him with renal failure and that only 15% of his kidneys were working n that he was dehydrated(common with this age to get this I learned). They said he needed hospitalized for a couple of days to give him fluids and meds. My husband brought him home after work a wk ago yesterday Fri. The vet told my husband he would need special

  • Laurie Post author

    Dear Gay,

    Thank you for telling us about Leyna! I can just see her grooming herself in front of the mirror, preening and admiring her lovely coat and body 🙂 Cats are wonderful, aren’t they? Their only downfall is that they leave us far too soon.

    May your new little girl will brighten your lives and home, and may her spirit interact with Leyna’s. There will be no replacements, only multiplied joy and love.

    We’d love to hear how it goes – how your new kitty settles in – anytime you want to update us.


  • Gay McDonald

    We have had the pleasure and sheer joy of our beloved Leyna for 16 wonderful years. She was self-aware, grooming herself by preference in front of the mirror. She died horribly, and there was nothing we could do in the remote area in which we live, to get her put to sleep. We did what we had to do, but by God it was hard, and the pictures in our heads are way too vivid to cope with. Our hearts are raw and aching, and her “brother” Eric, also 16, is crying for her almost all day long. None of us are sleeping, nor eating much.

    We’ve had the offer to bring home another little girl, aged 14 weeks. It’s only been a couple of days, but we think we will work out how to get to her and bring her home with us. Because the new little girl is so young, we feel that she will help to bring some smiles into our days. We don’t want to forget Leyna, we never will, she was a daughter to us. And the new girl will not be another Leyna, she will be her own “personality” and bring her own touches to our lives. This is the absolute worst timing for such a huge loss, as we are currently under a lot of stress, to the point where I have had shingles for over 4 months now, and my husband had shingles for about 5 weeks. This site has been a wonderful find. God bless

  • Laurie Post author

    Dear Kelsey and everyone who shared about their cat’s death,

    Thank you for being here. I’m so sorry you lost your cats, especially if the death was unexpected. It’s so shocking and horrible to find your cat dead, or to have to put her to sleep.

    Every day, I think about the cats I’ve loved and lost…they’re always with me, even though I haven’t touched or kissed them in over 10 years.

    Loving our cats with all our hearts means we hurt with all our hearts when they pass on. I guess the only thing we can hope to do is eventually carry the love, joy, and happiness we felt when our cats were alive in our hearts now, in honor of their memories.

    In sympathy,

  • Kelsey

    I never had a pet besides hamsters and fish until I moved into my own apartment this past July. My best friend suggested that I get a kitten. I was partial to the idea at first but then I saw a picture of a litter of kittens that was being given away and I couldn’t help myself! The second day of moving into my apartment with my boyfriend I picked one of the kittens. Her name was Stripes when I adopted her but I renamed her Nala. She was my best friend. I woke up this morning to find her dead in her litterbox and I am pretty sure it was because she got into the garbage and ate food that was in it that was not good for her…. she had litter all over her mouth… I feel terrible she was the most loving cat I ever met!!! She loved to cuddle with me all day and slept in my arms. She’d meow with me back and forth… she loved to wrestle with a stuffed Tazmanian devil toy… If Nala could hear me now this is what I would tell her, ” I miss you sooooo much I hate not having you around.. you were my little baby I will always miss you following me around in the morning meowing at me in the bathroom while I’m getting ready for work… or when you wake me up to cuddle with you.. and when you run to the sound of my voice when I come back home from being out all day… I love you so much I’m sorry this had to happen to you I will always remember you and cherish you in my heart, you were my first real pet you were my baby and a best friend to me..” :'( RIP NALA 5/2/12 to 10/19/12 YOU WERE THE BEST KITTY IN THE WORLD

  • Layton Morgan

    well its 4 days since my best friend paased away he was 14years old he had weak heart this past two years i gave him his meds every day but in the last few days he tried to go away from home do think he knew he was going to die ? he never did this before he loved his home we all loved him , thank you all Gods Blessings & comfort to you all my heart is with you . Tears

    Layton Morgan

  • My Pain

    well after reading the other posts my heart is with you all, our cat [charlie] died saturday past got the best care there was from the vet & my sister & i but charlie heart was getting weaker when death came it his our family bad our home is lonley & cold with out him he was white with black nose he was my best friend i miss him tears . thank you . layton.

  • Jane

    My beloved Myla (14 y.o.) died on Tuesday in a freak household accident. We have an attached garage with entry from the kitchen. Our idea of letting our cats ‘out’ is letting them run around in an enclosed garage with the overhead door opened an inch. Myla wouldn’t come in and I was worried about her getting too hot. One sure fire way to get her to come out was to open the overhead door. She would always run out onto the drive way and flop and twist on the cement. My good girl wouldn’t run away–she’d flop and twist in the sunshine. I began my walk through the garage to pick her up from the driveway when I saw the tailgate my husband had taken off the pickup and propped in the garage. To my absolute horror, the tailgate fell on my baby girl and crushed her–killing her (I desperately hope) instantly. I am utterly devastated. Myla has been my best friend for fourteen years. My husband tries to console me, but I can’t fathom life without my baby. I’ve had other cats through my life, but this relationship was unlike any I’ve ever had. Family and friends have been supportive, but I want to be alone in my grief. My days since her death have not been anywhere near productive–the house is a mess and I could care less. Today, I thought the tears were done, but they come out of nowhere. I don’t want to eat, I can’t sleep, and I can’t stop seeing the horrible instant of that tailgate falling, knowing I was too far away to save her. This pain seems never ending.

  • chris

    Sigh, i just have to share this story with out some one saying hes just a cat or at least it was the cat and not something important. My cat was murdered he was only 7yrs old next week was his bday. Sunday morning july 22nd i let my cat go outside to go out and sunbath an dhunt a typical day. I came home and he was all cute an dwarm and happy and healthy sunbathing on my porch i patted him and told him he was a good boy. He purred in return and i went in to realax froma hard week of work. When it came night time my cat will jump up on my window and beg to be let in around when i go to sleep and he would sleep in my bed. That night he didnt beg which wa snormal just ment he was hunting. The next day i couldnt find him and i was uneasy but being a dumb lazy asshole enjoyed my day off instead of searching for my cat and guess what i went to the beach and ended up staying till 4pm once it came to night time i went out searching for my cat calling his name and stuff but he wouldnt come which was odd he would want to spemd two nights outsid ebut if he wouldnt come there was nothing i could do. So i went to sleep and in the morning my friend came in asking if that was my cat on the porch i went out and to my releaf it was. This was short lived because his bottom left big tooth was hanging out on just a little piece of gum and just hanging sorda looking like a saber tooth tiger. I called my mom seeing if i should take him to the emergensy vet hospital which she said defently. I take him there and he moans when i carry him. I bring him to the vet and tk my horror his wounds are so much more severe then i could have possibly imigine. Both of his back legs were smashed and broken one of them ha dits ligamints snapped and every thing all his teeth were smashed and his eye socket wounded. It obviously wasnt an animal he said and with how the wounds were and that his claws weerent frawed (cats brace themselves right before getting hit by sticking their claws in the groumd and when he would have got hit his claws would habe frawed) so the vet was able to determine it was a himan who attacked my cat and held him down while beating him which is how he got so many scrapes but the cat tryed despratly to excape so he gave himself road rash. We had to put him down becuase he would never happy with out one of his back legs and never allowed outside. Also icouldnt afford saving him. So he died in my arms and while he was going he looked up glared at my mother and hissed at her to show her he still will never like her . Rip Sam i will miss you. I really loved my cat and i miss him so much i miss my cat so so so much. What makes it more hard is i would always go to my cat and talk to him and he would confort my if i ever needed but now hes not there and i have nothing to purr me to sleep while i sob inwardly. 🙁 i really miss him and he died the 24th and today is only the 25th well even yesterday i wa smissing him super badly. I dont know what else to say but please Lord take care of my baby in heaven because i want him back one day

  • Leanna

    Ive come across this site looking for ways to cope with the loss of my cat. My little boy Dobby died on 10th July and I had found his body yesterday (11th) he was only a year old and I had had him for 10 months. He was sadly run over but I didnt know that until I went out looking and calling for him. It was such a shock seeing him laying there so lifeless when I thought he had only wandered off. I am absolutely devastated. I loved him so much and am lost with out him even though it’s been 30 hours since I found him. I hope this pain goes away soon. I have been offered another kitten who will be ready in 5 weeks. I dont know if it is too soon or not I feel I need a companion as I’m so lonely without Dobby but I wouldn’t want Dobby thinking I’ve replaced him. I understand it will be a completely different personality and they also look nothing alike. Such a tough decision!

  • Joyce

    OMG Can’t stop crying. I lost my beloved 13 yro Boo almost 3 weeks ago. I appreciate the 2 days of crying. I have a very strong faith in God and that combined with an amazing support system enabled me to move forward.

    The richest piece of advice I got was that it would be ok if I wanted to adopt again in the future and it would not dishonor Boo. I was in such debilitating pain, that I said I was done with animals because I couldn’t go through that pain ever again. Well, the grace and mercy of God softened my heart.

    Today I adopted 2 kittens from the shelter. How could I allow kittens to remain contained and not have a loving home for my own selfish reasons I asked myself. I know the day will come when I will have to say good-bye to them. For now though, they are helping me heal. They will never replace my Boo, but they have filled the empty hole that was in my home.

    Thank you for sharing your story.

  • jan

    Daniel that is such a good story although you lost your precious boy, it is wonderful that Angel found such a good and loving home. When one of my Siamese boys died, his brother was besides himself. They had been together every day for more than 13 years and close as close and because I work full time I decided I had to try to get him a companion although I didn’t feel ready. I saw Samantha on the RSPCA site and Mum and I went to have a look at her. She was such a pretty little cat that it’s amazing that nobody had taken her by the time I got there. Anyway when I brought her home, there was no adjustment period from either of them, Smudge accepted her immediately. So you can’t help but think that their spirits do live on in.

  • Daniel

    I am only 21 and have had a pretty easy life, also due to past experience have gone thru my teens with some big commitment problems and tried to be the tough guy who didnt care about anything.. but a year and a half ago when i apodted a kitten named squeek it was the best thing that ever happened to me . My first responsibility in life and the first time i had ever been able to commit myself, he was my world. He got me through hard days and was my motivation to get out of bed in the morning. I kept him indoors as i was too scared of something happening to him.
    2 weeks ago, my boy snuck outside through my legs when i opened the door but came back not long later. The next day we found him paralysed and the vet confirmed it was a snake bite. i didnt hesitate to pay for anti venom and spent a night awake praying (which isnt regular for me) but unfortunately he didnt make it 🙁 for the first time since i became a teenager i cried, for 2 days straight.
    2 days after my boys death, me and my gf got a txt from a friend. a friend of a friend of a friend had been kicked out of home and needed to rehome their kitten and sumhow the text had reached us. i said no as i felt it was too soon and would be disrespectful to my boy.
    The next day my mother gave me an email she had recieved, not knowing my cat had died, the email was a list of what your cat would want if it could leave a will behind after death.. it had things such as “all i have to give is my owners love and my toys and food bowls” , it said things like “give the lap i loved so much to a cat who needs one” and “give my toys and food bowls to a cat who is not as fortunate” , you get the idea , it seemed like a sign .. that day my girlfriend also got a text from the owner of the cat, saying she could not find anyone to take her little girl and she desperately wanted her to go to a good home, she had been told how well we looked after our boy.
    I decided after these signs, believing everything happens for a reason that we should take her.
    To my disbelief, when i saw a photo of her, she was identical to my boy only slightly more fluffy and girly, but the same face, same age .. and name just happens to be “angel” … when we met angel she ran up to me and started licking my hand and wanting cuddles like she knew me… we picked up angel yesterday, and there was no adjustment phase, she has been acting like she’s been here forever. I have 3 cats all with very unique personalities, but angel has the same manerisms, same expressions, and same meow as my boy squeek. she’s not as fiesty and adventurous, but through manerisms, i think squeeks spirit is in their somewhere, and i believe my boy has found his way back home ..

  • Joyce

    Shauna thank you. My Boo just died 2 weeks ago suddenly while I cradled him in my arms. I’m so lost without him. The intense crying spells have diminished but I miss him so much. He was 13. All black with yellow eyes. I rescued him from a shelter. His ashes are with me. I don’t know if I can adopt another cat yet my house is lonely and there is a whole in my heart.

  • Shauna

    Hi. I just found this site when searching for whether or not it was ok to get another kitten after your cat’s death. My cat, Alice, died April 26, 2012, from a blood clot that blocked the blood flow to her back legs and we found her unable to walk and without feeling in her back legs. She had been perfectly fine only a few hours before. I loved her so much, still do and honestly felt desperate for her and consumed with grief after her death. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever dealt with in my life. I had her for 12.5 years and she was just amazing. She was a dumpster kitten with no home when I found her years ago. Today, the 28th, my husband adopted a kitten for me from the shelter. Honestly, I feel like it’s helped me a little bit. It’s nice to share love with a kitten, even if it’s not my Alice. I feel like we honored her memory by adopting a shelter kitten- as she was an abandoned kitty too. I don’t know how to describe it, I feel guilt over it too, but I’m glad we did it. I guess it’s individual to each person. I just was so devastated when Alice passed away, I held her for several hours after she passed away, I just can’t believe she’s gone. But I am happy that I can dedicate a lot of new things to this new kitty-Addy- in Alice’s memory, even though I’m still hurting so badly. Although, Alice will never, ever be replaced. I don’t know what works for everyone else- but we made the decision to have Alice cremated and I’ll have her with me forever. I know I’m rambling on at this point, but much like the other posters here, she was loved like a person- truly. She wasn’t just a cat, she cared, she was intuitive, she was amazing! We’re having a picture/memory quilt of her made and of course will keep her ashes in an urn, next to my bed. I’m just so in love with her and I will be forever- but this new kitty that needs love too is a good distraction, and that’s really nice during such an extensely painful time.

  • jan

    Hi David

    Know that there are many, many animal lovers who will be feeling your sorrow. My beautiful Siamese boys died 8 and 5 years ago and I still think of them with such love and fondness and a lump in my throat, I now have two more to fill the gap, but all of them are special, unique and individual, each one leaves a special paw print on your heart.

    You really have some beautiful memories of your life with Babe and that is very precious. She sounds as if she was a real little character and well travelled. Take care and cry all of the tears that you need to, to honour her life.

  • David

    My cat died March 15 while I was at work. She had been with me for over 20 years. She suddenly got sick less then 2 weeks before. She was a rescue cat when I adopted her in 1992. Babe loved to ride in the car and I took her on trips with me. She was a very affectionate and cuddly cat. Babe loved to play with boxes and bags. If I bought her toys she would prefer playing with the bag and box it came in. When I had heart surgery at age 28, Babe was always by my side during my recovery at home. I believe Babe made my recovery go much better. My job began to move us around and the first place was Knoxville, TN. We lived there for a year. Babe loved the house, it had a sun room that she loved to catch the sun light and watch the birds. She loved to run up down the steps and if I was in the attic she was quick to find a way to go from one side to the other. After a year my job needed me in Florida, I decided I was going to have a house with a pool, Babe loved the enclosed pool area, sometimes when she thought I was not looking she would get both front paws on the first step into the pool and then she would lick her paws and wash herself. It was so cute to watch her do this. She loved chasing the lizards around and even brought one into the house that she played with until I found it and put back outside. 2 years later my job moved us to Memphis, TN. This house had a open hall way upstairs that over looked the family room. Babe loved to run up down the hall and look down in the family. Babe started wanting water from the tap. She would jump up in the kitchen sink for her water and she got more use out of the jetted tub then I did for her water. Less then a year there we were transferred back to VA. I bought a home in the country. Babe loved the sun room in this house, she loved laying in the windows and watching the birds and she could see me out on the deck. I never let her go outside with out me she was an indoor cat. She did sneak out some but never went far. A couple of years ago I broke my collar bone in a bike accident. After my surgery while I was recovering Babe would lay on my shoulder. I moved back to the Richmond area 15 months ago just one block over from the house I lived in when I adopted Babe. She came home to die. I have not stopped crying since. I miss her so very much. She loved me unconditionally.

  • Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Post author

    Dear Jan,

    Thanks for your comment! I’m sorry to hear that you lost your cat. I can’t believe how difficult it is to overcome a cat’s death. I’ve lost several cats over the years, and still feel the pain immensely.

    But, I keep welcoming more cats into my life because I love them SO much! I believe that getting another cat after a cat’s death is very helpful and healing, as long as you remember that each cat is different.

    And like you said, it’s so important to give yourself time to grieve your cat’s death.


  • jan

    When I lost my first cat that had been my own to totally look after, I couldn’t bear coming home and not be greeted by a little furry face. Then I got two Siamese and now I can’t begin to imagine a life without one or two Siamese boys. You certainly need time to grieve and everybody will be different. Some people go out immediately and find another pet pal and some might take months or years. when one of my boys passed away his brother was so distraught I had to go and find him a companion and got a part Siamese girl. My boy settled down immediately, although I know that he missed his brother. When he passed away, much as I love my girl she is a little aloof and so I got another Siamese boy. It has taken my partner a long time to realise that he is just as important! To me having my cats is up there with breathing.