Comfort and Hope for Life Without Your Dog

If you feel like you can’t go on living without your dog, you are not alone. Your heart is broken into pieces, and all your broken pieces are welcome here. Join us as we say goodbye to our beloved furry friends and animal companions. You will find comfort, strength and encouragement as you read through these ideas and insights on how to live without your dog.

“I have no family, I’m divorced, no friends, am very depressed, and my dog is the only friend I know,” says Jeff on Comforting Prayers for the Loss of a Dog. “She needs to go to heaven but what about me after this is over? Who can be with me to do this, are there any organizations to help? I don’t think have the courage to do this alone and I fear for myself when it’s over.”

Living without your dog different – and some say more difficult – than coping with the death of a human loved one. Why? Because as George Eliot said, “Animals are such agreeable friends – they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.” Your beloved dog was always there for you, unconditionally loving, listening, and passing no judgment on anything you said or did. And when you touched, petted or groomed your dog you were flooded with feel-good hormones, such as oxytocin and endorphins. So was your dog! And that’s why learning how to live without your dog is so painful.

“Time always brings eventual relief from the pain and your life will return to normal,” writes Gary Kurz in Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates: A Book of Hope for Those Who Have Lost a Pet. “There will be a time when you feel guilty for feeling better, but event hat will pass. Nothing will ever take away the sense of absence, but the disabling and relentless grief will subside and eventually disappear. I know it may not seem that way now, but…it has proven true every time.”

How to Live Without Your Dog

Time helps. And in the meantime, here are a few practical tips for living without your dog.

How Are You Living Without Your Dog?

“Grieving the loss of a pet encompasses all the same elements as grieving the loss of anything else,” writes Dr Lisa Lembeck Roberts in The Anatomy of Grief: Processing the Loss of a Pet. “There may be different intensity levels, but the process is similar. It’s important to remember that each individual’s way of processing grief is as personal as the individual herself – so not matter what you are feeling, rest assured it is normal to be feeling it.”

You are normal. It is normal and healthy to feel sad after your dog dies. You are grieving a major loss in your life, and the feeling that you can’t live without your dog is not abnormal or crazy.

1. For the first few weeks, avoid visible reminders of your dog

Though it helps some people to keep their dog’s collar and tags, it may be too sad for you. People mourn, recover, and remember in different ways.

Here’s what pet bereavement counselor Wallace Sife writes in The Loss of a Pet: “Get rid of your pet’s toys and other things…they are mostly painful, and not good for you at this time. If you can’t throw them out yet, put them out of sight in a drawer or a box in a closet or basement. The real memory is in your heart.”

Seeing your pet’s collars, leashes, dishes, and beds in their usual places may make it harder to heal. Maybe one day you’ll donate them to friends or an animal shelter, or use them for a new pet. But for now, it may be best to put them out of sight.

2. Consider finding other furry friends to love and care for

Do you live alone and feel like you have no friends, family, or neighbors to lean on? You might think about getting another pet.

“My responses to each of my pet’s deaths differed in duration and intensity, depending on how quickly the end came, how much we suffered during their decline, and how many other pets I had,” says Sid Korpi, author of Good Grief: Finding Peace After Pet Loss. “The silence of the house when our dog Ludwig died was deafening because we had no other dogs at the time. It was tougher than when Mortimer left us, because we had our two Westie girls, Blanche and Keely. I didn’t love or miss Mortimer less intensely, but I was forced to pull myself out of my pain when the girls needed me. They reminded me life has to go on whether we’d like to wallow in the past or not. I’d feed them with tears rolling down my cheeks.”

3. Give yourself new reasons to get out of the house

“One of the basic human satisfactions is the feeling of being needed, and attending to an animal gives many people a daily sense of being useful,” writes Gary Kowalski in Goodbye, Friend: Healing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has Ever Lost a Pet. “It is important to know you make a difference, at least to one appreciative creature. For some people, losing a pet can mean losing a sense of purpose.”

However, before you can contribute and feel useful – and before you feel ready to live without your dog – you may need to grieve. How do you say goodbye to a dog you’re afraid of living without? It depends on you, your personality and perspective. Some people find prayers and the presence of God comforting. Other people need a practical role or focus that helps them walk through their dog’s death. If you are having trouble grieving and letting go, consider a pet memorial service to say goodbye to your dog in a more formal way.

4. Learn the difference between “passive grieving” and “active grieving”

Choosing to actively grieve loss and death will help you learn how to live without your dog.

When you passively grieve your dog’s death, you:

  • Ignore the pain and hope it goes away
  • Suppress or push away feelings of grief, pain, anger, and loneliness
  • Focus on the loss of your dog or cat
  • Allow your sad emotions to dictate your thoughts and actions
  • Replay the images of your dog’s last day or hours
  • Refuse to work through tips on how to cope with your dog’s death

Passively grieving the death of your dog seems easier and safer because it means you don’t have to face the painful emotions. But, not actively grieving your dog’s death leads to worse – and prolonged – pain. Passive grieving does not help you learn how to live without your dog.

Avoiding your grief doesn’t help you heal your heart and make room for a new dog in your life. It shuts you down and stops you from coping with your dog’s death in healthy ways.

Actively grieving your dog’s death, on the other hand, involves:

  • Allowing your painful emotions to rise up, even though it feels unbearable
  • Expressing your sadness, bitterness, pain, and loneliness
  • Exploring different ways to memorialize or honor your dog
  • Talking to animal lovers who coped with the death of their own beloved dogs
  • Trying different tips for coping with dog death, focusing on which are most helpful

Coping with your dog’s death in active ways is more difficult in the short run but much healthier in the long run. And, active grieving will help you get ready to invite another dog or cat into your life.

How Do I Live Without My Dog?
How Do I Live Without My Dog?

5. Know that this, too, shall pass

Do you think your life is meaningless and empty without your dog? Allow yourself to feel empty, sad, and lonely. Try not to fight or suppress how you truly feel. Fighting your feelings only makes them worse. It hurts to let grieve and pain sweep through you, but feeling the pain is the only way to learn how to live without your dog. You may feel like you’re going crazy, but your feelings will pass. And they will become less intense with time.

Friar Jack Wintz has been pondering animals and pets in Heaven for years, and he is convinced that God’s loving relationship with creation includes the afterlife. “Our God is a God of overflowing love, goodness, and beauty who is ready to give over everything to those he loves,” says Friar Jack. “Surely the Creator would not suddenly stop loving and caring for the creatures he had put into existence with so much care!”

In I Will See You in Heaven, Friar Jack Wintz describes how God has always taken care of His beloved animals – from the Garden of Eden to Noah and the Ark! In this book, you’ll find wisdom, comfort, and the reassuring hope that we will see our cats and dogs and other animals in heaven.

Hope and Comfort for Life Without Your Dog

Friar Jack has been pondering animals and pets in Heaven for years, and he is convinced that God’s loving relationship with creation includes the afterlife. “Our God is a God of overflowing love, goodness, and beauty who is ready to give over everything to those he loves,” he says. “Surely the Creator would not suddenly stop loving and caring for the creatures he had put into existence with so much care!”

“If there is a heaven, it’s certain our animals are to be there,” says Pam Brown. “Their lives become so interwoven with our own, it would take more than an archangel to detangle them.”

Is your dog still with us, but not well? Read 6 Signs It’s Time to Put Your Dog to Sleep – A Vet’s Advice.


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156 thoughts on “Comfort and Hope for Life Without Your Dog”

  1. We share our home with two dogs: a 6 ½ year old Labradoodle, DJ; and ½ year old English Springer Spaniel, Patsy. Three weeks ago, our beloved parrot of 18 years died. I sent out a brief email tribute to some friends and was very touched by all the support I received back.  I talked about it with people and found that comfort came from people I didn’t expect – in the form of cards and gestures.  I even had a mystical experience where hundreds of birds landed on the trees right near Willie’s grave in my yard (living here for 14 years I’ve never seen that big a flock before), and sat there for a few minutes and then took off in another direction after circling his grave three times.  I felt he had been given the equivalent of a bird military salute.  It was very poignant and meaningful to me.

    My husband put up an online tribute on his blog to our beloved pet parrot, and I will be writing one for Tribute Tails. We had our personal ceremony for Willie, graveside, in our backyard. It was a tearful and fitting tribute to a dear winged friend. All of it helped me greatly.

    Thank you for your wonderful work,
    Dorry Bless
    Celebrant, animal lover, certified pet loss bereavement counselor

  2. I lost my Chihuahua October 25, 2018. I had her for 16 and a half years. I still have her cat brother whose 19 years old.

    It’s been almost two years. She got so sick with age I couldn’t let my girl suffer. The night before I took Montana to the Vet for the last time I was crying like a baby. My girl seemed to know it was time and she had become more affectionate. I cried as I told her I was sorry. My baby girl looked up at me with her huge brown eyes and licked me on the cheek. Normally she would only lick the tip of my nose. But she licked my cheek comforting me. She had no appetite for days and I got some honey hoping she would eat at least something and we shared honey.

    What hurts the most was my Vet. The texh held my girl and she was struggling. The Vet put the needle in and hurt my girl and took it out. Not one word did he say to me! I held my girl’s tiny head in my hands to calm her, told her I loved her and that she could go. It was OK. My Vet gave her the shots with me cradling Montana’s head and she passed. Then my Vet, a man who had taken care of cat #2 and was so kind to when he had to go, my Vet just walked out on me! Not one word of condolence or symparhy! Not one apology for hurting my girl. Nothing! The Tech had more care. My Vet’s attitude shocked me! His seeming non care made it worse!

    I walked home with Montana in the cat carrier stunned. My girl was gone! My cat ran from her body and me! I buried my girl in the back.

    I couldn’t eat or sleep. All I did was cry. I fell into a deep depression. I have no one. My girl had passed and my cat who helped raise her was in depression. I helped him throufh it. He’s still trying to help me through my depression. I cry for a lot.

    My anxieties ramped up without my girl. One day I went to mail a bill thinking about my girl and out of the corner of my eye I saw her for a split second walking with me as we mailed bills together. Well I thought I was losing my sanity in my grief and when I got to the mailbox a stranger said she sees my dog. No dogs followed me, no dogs in the parking lot! I said my dog’s dead.

    Sometimes Insee my cat’s attaxhed food bowl at an angle. I always put them straight, my cat doesn’t play with his bowls that are attached. But Montana did! It happens after I talk to her and tell her how much I miss and need her. The next day my cat’s bowls are turned exactly how she used to turn them. It happens after I cry over my girl, tell her how much I miss and need her or visit her grave in the back yard.

    I sleep with her teddy bear she had as a puppy. 60 years old and I sleep with Montana’s teddy bear. My cat knows when I’m going to have a crying jag and comes to comfort me.

    I thought my heart would never heal. My neighbor saw my grief and took me to an animal shelter just to pick a dog for comfort. So I phad them pull a Pit Bull mix. He looked into my eyes just like my girl did. We went into the room and I learned I had to bribe this dog to notice me with treats. He looked at me intensely like Montana and took the treat gently. Out of habit like I did my girl I held out my hand and said gimme five expecting nothing. Pop Tart rubbed his big paw across my hand on that command that I used to give my girl. It was if my girl was with me. I told Pop Tart all about Montana. He intently watxhed me just like my girl. And then what did he do? Gave me two hard kisses. He pressed his nose hard against the tip of my nose and kissed me just like my girl! I suddenly relaxed. I had no money to adopt and was still a broken mess but Pop Tart seemed to understand his job was comfort. Then he walked to the room’s door, looked at me, looked at the door, looked at me as if to say you’ll be fine now. And he was taken back to his cage.

    Pop Tart started my healing. I still cry for my girl. I’m still depressed over her loss but not as much. When I can save the cab fare as I no longer have a car and my neighbor pretends she has no idea what shelter she took me to when it was her idea, will I go to that shelter and get another dog. I’ll have my family back. Manny my cat will have a dog sibling again.

    I need a dog so bad to fill the emptiness over the loss of my Chihauhua girl. And I have such anger for the Vet who acted like he didn’t care.

    I love you, Montana Sky!I’ll always love you!

  3. Kathleen Marchington

    I lost my Lucy, a four year old German Shepherd service dog on February 7, 2019. Almost 11 months ago. The night of the fire my daughter awoke me at 12:49 am screaming that there was a fire and we had to go. In my mind even though I was instantly awake was the thought, “Show me where that fire is, I’ll put it out!”. I came out of my room and Lucy tried to follow me as it was her “job”. I thought she’d be underfoot while I put it out so I told her to stay and closed her in the bedroom. The last image I have of her in my mind was confusion about why I wouldn’t let her come with. By the time I got three feet down the hallway I was completely engulfed in dark black choking smoke and was disoriented and couldn’t breathe. There was no going backwards and the fire was enormous. I don’t know how I got out safely. By the time the FD got there there was nothing anyone could do. The whole entire house was gone in a half an hour. Ashes. They later found Lucy hiding in the bathtub. If you had known Lucy you would know the bathtub was the last place she would voluntarily go unless she was terrified. All I can see is her scared to death, worries about where I was and waiting to die. The confusion about why she couldn’t follow me. I believe regardless of what well meaning people say all the time, that I killed her that night and I’ll never forgive myself. I will never have another dog. This has broken me. I don’t know how to recover from this. I really need a service dog for balance issues too but I’ll find another way. I miss my girl so much. She was more than a pet, she was my help and protector. She was my friend.

  4. I’m the one that’s dying, at age 62, from meastatic colon cancer. No longer able to care for my pets — a dog and cat tag team — I turned them over to a wonderful new home. They are thriving. This devastates me. Perhaps they already knew I was dying. My dog had been sniffing me. Now I have nothing to live for. I’ve got no family, no friends, no social network. I’m stuck in Wisconsin, not my home, since the cancer diagnosis in 2011. I’ve lost at least a dozen pets over my lifetime and grieved them deeply. This is worse. I’m so grateful they were able to go to a good home, but I miss them so much.

    1. Dear Melinda,
      Your words touched my heart a week ago, when I first read them. You’ve been on my mind ever since. I was away from home on an intense week-long course, and couldn’t reply to you. Plus I didn’t know what to say!

      I adopted Tiffy, our teacup poodle, from an elderly woman fighting breast cancer. Her chemotherapy treatments were really hard, so she couldn’t take care of Tiffy. Every time I pet, kiss and snuggle with Tiffy I remember her previous owner. I know Tiffy remembers her previous owner, because she is drawn to elderly women with white hair! I know she remembers….but I also know she loves me and is very happy with us.

      The sad, heartbreaking part of loving animals is the terrible heartache when they’re gone. I’m so sorry you don’t have your beloved dog and cat in your arms. They’re in your heart, but I know it’s still hard.

      May you find comfort, warmth and love in other ways. I pray for a sense of joy and peace despite the pain and loss. I pray for another animal friend or two to make their way to you…and I pray that you know the deep sense and presence of Jesus. May God guide your steps and shed light on your path, and may the Holy Spirit bless you with peace beyond all understanding.

      With His love,

  5. In the last year I have lost best friend, my husband and also my two dogs. I lost Max my Labrador to cancer and diabetic mylopathy, last May. And yesterday after 18 months fighting it was my baby boy Ben who had cancer in his mouth and could not eat without vomiting and finally even vomited water so I had to do the dreadful deed. I am alone in a silent house for the first time in my life. It is good to know it will pass but the pain and loneliness are insupportable right now.

  6. I lost my girl rein January 30 2019 she was a black lab pitbull mix it was very sudden, she had been up and about the day before but that day she couldn’t walk at all. After taking her into the vet I was told it was a possible slipped disc or a tumor pressing on her spine and she could no longer feel her back legs. She was 15 years old our options were an MRI with possible surgery or not in case it was inoperable. I could also do home care for her until I was ready to say goodbye which seemed cruel if she couldn’t walk and she seemed very uncomfortable. I don’t question my decision, it was about what was best for her not me and I knew the stress wouldn’t have been good for her just to make myself feel better. I’m not angry at my vet they gave me plenty of options and were very caring in the end. What nothing could’ve prepared me for is the giant empty place left in my heart, it feels like a hole and it aches all the time. I do have two cats and a chihuahua that I get up every day and take care of. I feel lonely all the time regardless, with or without anyone else and it’s massive. I worry I’m being unfair to my other fur kids, I love them, I try very hard to spend time with them but our connection isn’t quite the same. It’s hard to say exactly what my girl rein was to me, she was my baby, my best friend, my protector, my confidant, constant companion, she comforted me but it goes beyond that. Everyone says we had something very special, I know that’s true and I worry that this loneliness might never go away. I also lost my 16 year old norweigan elkhound mix eevon December 22 2017 from cancer and December of 2018 was very hard for me. It’s hard to put into words what I feel exactly

    1. My story is almost exactly as yours. The day before yesterday we took our baby girl in to be euthanized. She stared in the eyes of my wife and I as she took her last breath as to say it’s ok.
      I’m praying you have found a way to use good memories and hoping the tears are of joy from the time you had with her. I think about my baby still every minute and I get a nauseous feeling every time I do. I have another dog and wife and a great support family so I’m blessed. The routine and quietness without her at times is unbearable but I’m asking God for the strength to get through the loss. I pray for you as I do all of us who lost our unconditional loving family member.

  7. I have recently lost my dog very suddenly from cancer. It was a terrible shock and I can now understand the terrible grief that seems at times to overcome you as if some sort of wave sweeps over you. I would suggest as I did contacting an animal communicator who will be able to speak to your beloved deceased pet on the other side . I contacted someone in the states and for a small fee she arranged and contacted my wife and myself using Skype .She was very accurate and explained that he was in heaven running around fields and having a great time. I was given many accurate details none of which had been given to my communicator. It was very reassuring and calming and not in the least spooky. For anyone in grief please consider doing this but make sure that they are reputable and recommended first.The whole session lasted about 30 minutes and I would consider doing this again in the future. You tube is a good place to begin checking out and finding someone in this field.
    God bless everyone and be strong it will get better,

  8. I’m so sorry you lost your dog – it’s terrible to say goodbye. There are no easy tips on how to live without a dog, no quick fixes or easy solutions. Dogs are part of our hearts and homes, our daily lives and routines. Living without them is hard, especially when it happens so fast.

    May you find hope and healing. Give yourself time to grieve, and be gentle with yourself. Cry when you need to, and take time to talk and think about your dog when you want to. Don’t rush the healing process; grief needs to unfold naturally.

    And remember that you did all you could have. Keeping your dog alive longer would not have served her well. You made the right decision, and your dog is resting in peace. Cavorting and running with joy! Free, without pain or injury. Your dog loved you more than you’ll ever know, and is waiting eagerly to see you again one day. Trust God, that He reunites all His beloved creatures at the end of our days here on earth.

    In sympathy, with love,

  9. My dog rizzo had to be put down 4 days ago she had regular seizures but this one was different that lasted over 30 mins.The vets advised that the kindest thing would be to let her go my baby was 2 she was my only dog. Im heartbroken and everyday is a struggle i keep expecting her to be in places she went in the house.The quietness is a killer as you expect to hear her when the door goes.i have my husband and kids but i keep thinking about her i suppose its the guilt of putting her down i should of done more i keep telling myself over and over.I loved her so much and the shock of how quick it happend i feel like i carnt over it. I hope in time i will be able to share my heart with another dog one day. I Just want this pain to stop.

  10. I Don’t have much of a life after my baby girl Doberman named Uma passed away 4 weeks ago. She was 11 and nasal cancer took my baby girl. i cry and hate going on without her. Nothing means anything to me anymore. My day used to be determined by her. She was the most loving protective loyal dog I’d ever had. She was my little girl not my friend, my daughter. I hate every day that goes by without
    her. I think where ever she is she’s trying to find me. If I could leave this hell hole earth I can be with her. She needs me and I need her.
    I have nobody. Uma wherever you are I love you soooo much! I miss you and have cried a billion tears. Uma could light up a room and now nothing is happy anymore. My baby girl is gone. Damn CANCER! I want to be with her not here on this hell earth…

    1. Renee, I am so sorry for your loss. If you will read my post to, Claire, you will see I am speaking to both of you. I hope you find “something” in what I posted that may be of some help. Bless you.

  11. My beautiful dog Emmett died. To me Emmett was my child. He loved to be held. He loved kisses and snuggling. And was a very good boy. Loosing him was like loosing a child for me. I treated him like he was my own child. I loved that dog so much. And he loved me the most. No matter what happened to me I always knew my dog would always love me and be there for me. Always. I was always fighting with my parents. My Dad was and emotionally abusive and controlling. And my Mom was just plain crazy. My parents were getting a divorce and like always my Mom took her anger out on me. And a couple weeks before Emmett died she got mad at me and swore at my (the f word) and said she didn’t want me apart of her life. Because I couldn’t pay $50 for car insurance that month. I had lost my job and was starving trying to make ends meet. I was sad but I knew if my parents didn’t want me I knew Emmett wanted me and cared. I know that’s why I have been alive for so long. Is that someone loved me. And that was my sweet baby Emmett. But two weeks ago my parents took my dog to go dune buggying and they accidentally killed him. I started screaming when they told me. They told me to stop but I couldn’t. That was my child! I kept crying over and over saying “My baby, my poor baby”. My parents said I needed to calm down. But I couldn’t. I cried saying “That dog loved me! He loved me no matter what! I can’t live without him!” That was my child. And they put my child in danger and killed him. They couldn’t even tell me that Emmett wasn’t in pain. He suffered a painful death. My baby. I have no one In my life anymore. I have nothing to live for. I just want to be with my baby. My mom said that she’d be a better mom to me from now on. But I don’t really care. I know that’s mean. But I don’t trust her anymore. I don’t want anyone but my dog. I love Emmett so much. I know he’s in heaven. My sweet boy.

    1. Claire, my heart aches for you for so many reasons. I have not been on this site in a couple of months but something brought me to the site today. Reading your post as well as the one from Renee above truly breaks my heart. I completely understand how both of you feel. When I initially posted on this site, I was so desperate to find anyone who could sympathize/empathize with what I was and still am going through. My precious, Todd, was my child in every sense. There is literally not one thing that does not remind me of Todd. No one in my family understands or honestly, cares. I read a poem, I think called, “Silent Tears” and it was like I wrote it. I know there is nothing I can say that will take your pain away. For me, I like “talking” about Todd to people who get it. I am not “allowed” to speak about Todd with my family without causing some sort of fight etc. I know people grieve differently. I will tell you what I have done for myself and to keep Todd’s memory alive. There is a website called: You send them pictures of your “fur baby”, Emmett, and they will make a replica as a stuffed animal. The hard part is getting the pictures as you have to go through them and this can be painful to some people. If not now, maybe something to consider for the future. Todd slept with me every night for nearly 15 yrs thus the cuddleclone gives me “something” to hold on to. I know nothing will replace, Emmett. I also searched the internet and pinterest for poems etc. and printed several out to make a “book” for Todd. I have purchased several items that I keep close so I know and feel, Todd is with me and Todd knows I will never forget him. I purchased 2 personalized personalized wind chimes: one for outside and one I placed inside where I go to “talk” to Todd. To others, I am crazy. To me, I am a parent/ fur mama that lost her child. I get a lot of flack for that statement however: my feelings are my feelings and they are valid just as yours. There is a website They hold a candle light ceremony on certain dates however: I learned the chat room may not be secure which is unfortunate. You can visit the site and print out the candle light ceremony and do it one your own, I wish I could give you some peace. I hate all the cliches’ I am sure you have heard. You need to do what feels right for you and know that there are people out there that understand and support you. Whether others believe it or not: statistics show that the loss of a “fur baby” can be just as devastating as any other loss. I am grateful that Todd has Emmett and Uma ( Renee’s baby) to play with knowing that they too are loved just as Todd is loved. Bless you

  12. We just had to put our beautiful Amy Louise to sleep on april 20th and it’s been the hardest 3 days of my life. My heart is so broken. We went fishing and she must have gotten into something that made her sick. The vet told us that on top of that, she has IMHA. It’s an autoimmune disease. So her body couldn’t fight off the infection from her getting sick. It’s just been so hard dealing with the guilt of taking ones life wheb she wasn’t ready. She had so much more life in her. Her blood level got to 4%, she had no oxygen in her blood. She had 3 transfusions. And they said if she had anymore it would just prolong the inevitable. God I miss her so much.

  13. I totally understand Geri about Todd. Omg i do the same thing….cry, panic attacks, i cant function. 68 days for me. i dont know how to live like this. i live alone with no family or friends even in the state. its awful. hugs to you and i wish i could meet with you and help eachother.

    1. I am just losing my beautiful little boy . I am devasted. from being ok 3 weeks ago he now gone to having an aggressive tumour . they want me to put him sleep. I lost my other one two years ago and had to have her put sleep I’m still not over that . now benjie going be joining her . I don’t want live without him . I can’t live on my own . I really want to go with him

      1. Diane, I am so sorry for your loss. I truly understand how you are feeling. The only “comfort” I have found is this blog. It does help to “talk” with people who do know what you are going through. I had “to let go” of my precious, Todd, after nearly 15 years. Prior to Todd, I had to “let go” of my sweet: Copper in 2003, Buster in 2004 and Brewster in 2013. I too am still living with there loss. I don’t say this to make you feel like this pain will never end but, to again say, I do understand and please know there are people who are praying for you. I hope you are lucky enough to be surrounded by family and friends who love and support you. I have found that “talking” about Todd brings me some “joy” even if it is with people who I
        have never met. You may see that I reply quite often. I reply to try and comfort someone in need as well as it can help me. Everyone is different thus how we handle situations are different. I pray you find some way to “help” as I know it can feel hopeless. I hope you take comfort in knowing there are people who understand and are praying for you.

  14. It has been 76 days since I lost my beloved, Todd. I try and “stay positive” but things are getting harder, not better. I have replied to comments on this site and my heart aches each time I read another. I am commenting so I can reach out to those who understand what I am going through. I was blessed to have Todd for an amazing 14 yrs, 9months and 2 days. I am married without children. Not a single person in my family can relate to what I am going through. This is not “just depression or a phase.”
    I too feel like I can’t breath at times. I have started having panic attacks as I see and feel Todd everywhere! I can’t even go to the grocery store without having to leave before I breakdown. Todd was everything to me and I was everything to Todd. Todd was not a “dog” to me and I hate that people think it is okay to grieve for the loss of a person but not a “dog”. My family never mentions Todd and if I do, they change the subject. I need to talk about Todd. Todd was such a big part of my life and every one “thinks” if we ignore the “situation” I will get over it and move on. I am tired of people telling me how I should feel or what I should do. My feelings are my feelings and pain is pain. I miss Todd more then words can describe. I am truly lost. I can’t wait to go to sleep just to get the day over however: I can’t stand to go to sleep as all I do is think of Todd and cry. I can’t wait for the morning however: I realize another day without Todd. I can’t truly sleep and when I do I relive Todd’s last “day”. I keep telling myself I did what was best for Todd. I even had a special vet come to our home so Todd would be “more comfortable” however: things did not go smoothly. I keep reliving this over and over in my mind. I sit here and just type, tears streaming down my face, wondering what to do once I stop typing. My house is not a home without Todd. I am not me without Todd. My life is empty without Todd. I have no support from my husband, my friends, or my family. My family thinks they are supporting me by “leaving me alone to deal with my grief.” My husband avoids me so he doesn’t have to see or hear me cry. When I am around people, I do my best, for their benefit, to not mention anything about Todd and this makes me so sad. Thus when I am alone, I cry uncontrollably and pray to God to help me find the strength to make it through another day without my Todd. “My Toddy”, “My butter bean”, “My T” and the numerous other nicknames I had for Todd. I still talk to Todd as if he is here and hope he can hear me. My precious angel, mama misses you…..

  15. I lost my lil 4 years old baby Khaleesi two days back. And the worst part is that I just came to know about it yesterday. By then she was already buried. I hate for not being there when she was dying. My parents say that she vomited blood when she died. It could just be a case of poisoning. Since yesterday was New Year’s eve, I went to my home and my mom and siblings came to pick me up halfway. I had no knowledge of her death till then. While I was about to reach home, I told my mom and siblings that I forgot to get anything for Khaleesi. That is when they told me that she died a day before. I wasn’t able to process it the first time I heard it. I was shocked. I felt like they were joking with me. I just thought that it couldn’t be possible. My lil Khaleesi couldn’t die so early. That’s is when they told me briefly on how she vomited blood and fizz all over her kennel before she died. They said it didn’t even take 5 minutes for the whole thing.

    And since then I feel a void in my heart. I miss her so much. The fact that I couldn’t be with her in her last few moments and that she was buried without me having to say her goodbye is troubling me so much. I don’t know how to react? I don’t know what to do. She was my best friend, she was my companion, she was the one who would sleep with me when I would be all alone at home. She would comfort me like no one could. She would just want to be pampered everytime I reached home. She would just snuggle and play with me. Her eyes would always be sparkling with so much love and admiration that you had no option but to cuddle with her. But all that is gone now. Everything is gone now. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to cope up with this pain.

    But more than me, it is my mom who has been hurt the most by this. She meant the world to her. Please help us to cope with this grief.

      1. I’m sorry for your loss,,I lost my baby Free I. Sept. 2017. I still cry for her almost every night. Its not easy, and I can’t say it’ll get easier, its not easy for me. I just think she’s waiting for me on the other side. Isabel

    1. I’m reading your post with tears streaming down my face into my ears (I’m in bed). I love my dog more than life itself and I pre-grieve the loss of Nellie even though she’s not sick, just getting old. My heart goes out to you and all the hurting wonderfully caring pet parents I’m reading about. There is no love or loss quite like the loss of a pet. My sympathy to you and all of us that cherish animals.

  16. I can’t breath .
    It’s been two weeks and I still can’t breath whenever I am home alone and my sweet , horrid , funny little Pomeranian suddenly started having seizures that cause irreparable brain damage , and held him in my arms while he took his last breath . And I died . I think I loved that dog more than my family , my kids , my parents , my husband .
    For 2 weeks I have been nothing but busy with family affairs and appointments and life . I avoid home like the plague it easier to shop , or watch the grand kids , or do anything but go home and not hear him barking his welcome home and see his little fluffy self greet me at the door . He is in the backyard buried in the flower garden , I can’t go out there yet , I just tell him goodnight and then cry quietly when no one is awake . He was my constant companion for 16 years . He was a brat , he hated everyone but me , he bit anyone who was stupid enough to try and pet him .he was always trying to squeeze between me and my husband and was insanely jealous when grandkids started showing up . But I loved him and he loved me .
    I will never get another little dog . I can’t bear the thought of betraying him .
    I miss you Tank my sweet little tanky .
    I miss you .

    1. Julie, I just read your comment and my heart aches for you. I am so sorry for your loss of, Tank. All the things you describe are exactly how I feel. I wish I had words of wisdom and a way to make it all better but, if I could do that, we both wouldn’t be so sad. I too cry quietly and when I am alone, I cry out loud like a baby. Everyone deals with grief in their own way. I have been reading and collecting poems as I plan to put a scrapbook together (in the future) for my beloved, Todd. Todd was my world and the statement you made, ” I loved him (Tank) and he loved me” I have said that exact statement on numerous occasions regarding my precious, Todd. I have also found a website called, Cuddle Clones. Cuddle Clones uses your pictures of your precious loved one to create a “replica” if you will. I will say this process was hard as you have to go through pictures. When Todd passed, I wanted anything and everything I could find/buy to try and fill the huge void in my life and in my heart. Todd was my life. When you described how you held your sweet, Tank as he took his last breath, you felt you died. I just wanted to reach through the computer and hug you. When I was laying with, Todd, during his final minutes, I recall when the Dr said, “His heart has stopped” to which I responded, “so has mine”. Words are powerless to describe that “feeling”. You mentioned that you think you loved, Tank, more than family etc. My husband just said to me that he was tired of being #2 to a “dog”. Well, what can I say but it was and is true. We can’t help who and how we love. Our “fur babies” give us a love matched by no other. I have also ordered a custom wind chime from a site called, and the seller is ListenToThewind. Etsy has everything, just type in pet memorial etc and maybe you will find something that might bring you some comfort. Nothing will replace the love and loss you feel but, sometimes having some thing tangible helps…even if it is just a little. My thought with the wind chime is that every time I hear it, I know Todd is near. I too have vowed to never get another dog. If you don’t get attached to something you can’t get hurt…right? I will say that Todd was my fourth “fur baby”. I lost my first dachshund, Copper, on a Monday and (now I can say) by the grace of God and maybe Copper, I had Todd that Friday. I felt such guilt and initially had a hard time bonding with Todd as I too felt I was betraying, Copper. I can’t explain in an writing how guilty and blessed I felt at the same time. They say don’t make any big life decisions following a loss. I think whether you decide to get another “fur baby” or not will come with time. I think that you should know that you are not replacing, Tank, by any means. For me this decision is based on the overwhelming pain I feel and I do not want to go through this ever again. I love animals, especially dogs. I keep telling myself, maybe I can volunteer or something with dogs so I can have the best of both worlds. I have yet to do this as I can barely get myself out of the house, but it gives me something to consider. I love kissing dogs sweet, little, cold noses. I can’t imagine never doing that again. I hope this helps you in some way. I wish there were more support groups for pet loss. I feel when I am able to talk about, Todd, he is still with me. Bless you and your family. Please know there are people that understand what you are going through and truly care. Sending you virtual hugs. Sincerely, Gerri

  17. I lost my beautiful little prince 3 days ago. I can’t bear to come home from work as he was always waiting by the door everyday. I know this because I live with my sister and she told me that everyday at the same time he would sniff the crack in the door waiting for me to come through it. He slept with me every night and was the first face I saw every morning. When I would go in road trips my little gizzy was with me all the time. I even took him to work on different occasions. I just don’t know how I can go on without him I was so blessed to have him from 8 weeks old till he was 14 What do I do now ? Don’t know if I can love another dog the way I loved my little prince. I feel guilty for not being able to save him Trust me I tried everything. Anyways I just wanted to know if I’m going crazy ?

    1. christine nightingale

      Lori You are not crazy, you are grieving. You had your little Prince in your life for all those years and have just lost him, it is going to take you some time as you move through the grieving process. Everyone is different how they handle grief and it is not for anyone else to ever say you should be over it, move on, pull yourself together. It will take you as long as it takes you. From my own experience when I had to have my beautiful Labrador Lucy put to sleep in April after 11 years together the first few months was just so very hard for me as i could hardly get out of bed. I described myself as a mum grieving for her child as there were many people who have never had the experience of that bond we have with our dogs. Some even told me to just go and get another dog?? It was very hurtful to me. It has been 8 months since I said goodbye to Lucy and it has got so much better for me, I never thought it would but she is on my mind every single day still and I do get the odd day now where I get completely overwhelmed by the huge loss and the gaping hole that is now in my life. Sorry for your loss of your Prince it is early days for you, you have to grief as you loved Prince so much and it is painful and lonely but over time it will become easier but it is early days for you. Just be kind to yourself.

      1. Lori, I truly feel your pain. It has been a little over a month since I lost my beloved, Todd. I wish I had a magic answer thus we would both feel better. I will say that having this site to express your thoughts and have others validate them is helpful. The pain you feel is real and by no means are you crazy. If you did not have these feelings then…you would be crazy. I too was blessed to have, Todd, for 14yrs, 9mos and 2days. I do not have children and I am unable to work thus I spent every day with Todd. The last 6 months I only left him 4 times for about an hour and 1/2 and I made sure my brother n law, God bless him, was available to sit with Todd. I completely understand the feeling of being lost and to wonder what to do with yourself. I mentioned in a previous post the saying, “The Silence is Deafening” is all too real. I found a site that makes stuffed animals that resemble your fur-baby. I plan on doing this but looking through pictures is difficult. It’s something to look into, maybe for the future. Nothing will replace the love you have for, Prince and people do grieve differently. I suggest you grieve in whatever way works for you. I also purchased a custom wind chime from a site that has just about anything The wind chime is designed so in my heart, when I hear the sound, I know Todd is still with me. I wish you all the best and I am a true believer in hugs. Hug yourself if no one is available and know that I am here if you want to “chat” with someone who knows how you feel. Bless you and I am sending you a virtual hug.

      2. Thank you ??. I called him my little prince because that’s how he was treated. His real name was gizzy. He was my reason for going home and waking up everyday. He was my “Go to “. I have his ashes at home now the vet hand delivered them the Day before Christmas Eve It was my only wish for Christmas. I still wake up in the middle of the night and I swear I can feel him laying on my feet like he used to do “I think he did this cause it drove me nuts “. Lol. He would then quietly move up towards my pillow and I would wake up to my little buddy staring at me. It’s going to be a long hard road I hope that everyone here finds the peace and comfort that they need for the new year. Hugs everyone Forever missing my little prince (gizzy) ??❤️

  18. Christine, I am sorry to hear about your loss of your beloved, Lucy. I wish people would be more sensitive when it comes to matters of the heart. I think no matter what someone is going through, we should be there to comfort them and listen. Sometimes it is nice just to have someone say, “I am sorry you are hurting” or offer a hug. I think hugs are a blessing as at this time we do feel sad and lonely. I am sending you a virtual hug and I am sorry you are hurting.

  19. My buddy of almost 10 years was euthanized due to gi bleeding caused by meloxicam for hip dysphasia, which he was born with. The vet (who prescribed the meloxicam) never ever warned me regarding meloxicam. For the first week when my buddy was sick, the vet even treated him for kidney failure – which was secondary and caused by the gi bleeding. The second week, the first day I was allowed to take him home, his first bm was black i.e. blood. When I took him back to vet, he said “he’s not on meloxicam is he?”. We had gone over my buddy’s supplements the week prior, including the pill bottle containing the meloxicam, with the veterinarian’s (HIS) name on the bottle! By this time my furry friend was so sick he couldn’t eat and his bloodwork was off the charts. He had lost 12 lbs & was still losing. The moral to my horrendous outcome is, if you are uncomfortable with your pet’s dr at ANY time over the years, FIND A DIFFERENT ONE! Getting info out my vet over the years was akin to pulling teeth – I SHOULD have changed. The second moral is – before you put any pill in your dog’s (or cat’s) mouth, research it THOROUGHLY! If the animal has a bad day take it off the med IMMEDIATELY. If the dog has stomach upset or throws up, take him off the med IMMEDIATELY. If anything is ever “off” about your pet, take him off that prescription med RIGHT THEN. And, INSIST on bloodwork every six months regardless. Meds can help our pets immensely- they can also kill them. I have to shop for an urn tomorrow.

    1. Bonnie, I am so sorry to hear of your loss and the unnecessary way things were handled on the end of the “vet.” You are absolutely right, always go with your gut. If something does not feel right we as “parents of fur babies” need to remember we are in charge. The “vet” may be the “specialist” but we know our babies. It is a bad analogy however: when we take our vehicle in, we are left with the “diagnosis” of someone who knows nothing specific about “our vehicle”. I would also add that if a fur baby is 6-7 yrs of age, considered a senior my some, demand a Senior blood panel. It gives a more comprehensive look into our babies. If a vet will not honor your request or seems hesitant….move on. Blood work is so important in humans as well as fur babies. It is a big misconception with people getting blood drawn that the doctor is checking for everything. Humans gets a CBC (complete blood count) however; their are two level of a CBC and they still do not check all vital organs. I hope this information is helpful to you and anyone else that may read this or face the same situation. The loss of our babies is just as significant and painful.

    2. I’m lying in bed recuperating from a heart attack 2 weeks ago. I’m lucky to be alive. The surgeon said it was due to stress. 3 months ago I was also in hospital. I’d accidentally overdosed on tables for panic attacks whch my doctor had given after the death of my 12 year old Staffy..Sharkey. He was with me 247. I’m a musician and the only time Sharkey was not with me was when I was performing. He died 25 November 2018. I was ill with much so that I firmly believe I had a heart attack. It is good t grieve but be careful. I wallowed in my grief and I am now in a bad place..pain and no income. Tomorrow a friend is picking up a neglected Staffy pup for me. I’m not excited about it. Not sure why I agreed to it. But I pray I’m doing the right thing

  20. I just wanted to say to all I’m sorry for your loss and I feel your pain. My baby girl Ali was my everything my heart & soul. I got her when she was a puppy at 4 weeks old. On Jan. 23rd 2017 She was a Jack Russell Carolina mix and I had rescued her off craigslist their neighbor had abandoned them on the road her and 3 others. She was the cutest little puppy and I had gotten her for 15$ right after i found out I was pregnant. My fiance works out of town so it was just me and her most of the time she was my best friend knowing my hormones I would get so emotional she would always be there for me.i had the baby in August 2017 She was so good with the baby. So loving and caring hyper as can be. She did love her daddy also when he did make it home & would get so excited loved laying and sleeping with us… Always licking and playing loving us. Well…then we lost her a couple weeks ago on 11/6/2017. I feel so guilty for not protecting her and looking harder for her. We we’re about to leave to go out of town with my fiance for the first time I couldn’t been more excited for her first road trip . As I was getting the baby ready and other things she was outside for 2 secs with Daddy normally we put her on the leash right away but he was so excited for her to jump in the truck he turns around n boom she’s gone. I told him don’t worry she’s done this before she’ll be back in a few min. Because she had. Well after those few minutes started to worry and we both walked around calling her name searching but should have walked further because after bout 5 min we heard a dog yelping n crying I’m like it’s her she’s probably excited about a dog in neighbor hood let’s go get her well he says let’s hop in truck and get our dog next thing you know the neighbor yells for us over here. I’m sorry to tell you are u looking for a dog yes! I said she’s been hit by a car and they moved her to the side of the road. I start panicking yelling noo Ali please no. I ran as fast I could to her I couldn’t believe the horrific scene n blood I bout died at that moment blaming myself for not being there for her to protect her. My fiance moved her body back to our home and told me I’m sorry honey she’s gone. This is the hardest pain I’ve ever been through I’m devastated heartbroken. I wanted her to grow up with my son and for her to stay as long as possible. My grief is unbearable. I had to to leave that day without her and cannot bear to think what if and only I just. I hope that she is in a good place doggy heaven waiting for us. I’m writing this to let u know ur not alone. Sudden unexpected death like this can be very difficult I didn’t even get to say goodbye or comfort her at her last few minutes. I wanna say God bless to you and yours may your hearts heal soon and never forget those beautiful memories. Pawprints on my heart. Xoxo

    1. my little dog slipped past me and i didnt know. i drove off to see a play. i came home 2 hrs later. my neighbors tried to catch him…he was staying at my door snuffling with my other dog who was inside. they scared him and he ran off. i found him 20 min. later ran over by a car. i cant stop crying two months later. he was a little chi 2 yrs old. he was a person to me. i have no family support and no friends. i haven’t. lived here long. just me and my 10 year old boxer now. i dont want to live without my little micharl Chihuahua. it hurts do bad

      1. Karen !
        How awful .what a traumatic shock for you — I’m so sorry . Your heart is broken .
        All of us who have reached out via the internet because no one else can understand how much our hearts are breaking because we lost our dogs – we all understand how you feel . So in that aspect you are not alone .
        I’m so sorry .
        I do understand..
        There are no words to make it better . Time does take away the shock but the heartache will remain .
        I too have my big dog left to care for after the loss of my beloved little Pomeranian. And I focus on him , I can tell he is grieving also and confused as to why the little orange terror isn’t around anymore .
        Take it one day , one hour and sometimes one minute at a time .

  21. For most dog owner’s their dog is not a pet but a member of the family. The grief involved is exactly like losing a family member. So advice like. “It’s not healthy to get all your life, love, and meaning from a your pet. I love my dog with all my heart, but I also love my work, my husband, and my writing.” is not very helpful since they probably did not get all their love from their dear dog and gives the impression that the dog owners pet was Just a dog and replaceable and that somehow having a job and or husband or Wife you love can replace the dog they loved so much.. It will not, nothing will. That is the point and the reality all dog or pet owners must learn to live with. ; living with the loss of their dear dog or pet (family member). There is nothing wrong with any pet owner who is grieving the loss of their pet. All people grieve differently and are on no one else’s time table for recovering from their loss… All dogs are loved and some are loved more like soul mate doggies once in a life time. So I guess the take away is people need the time they need to recover, telling someone to get over it already only slows the process of recovery. although the loss will always be there, it will become more livable and Life will move on.

    1. I loved your response. I felt you were speaking for me. I lost my precious,Todd, Nov. 11, 2017. I was blessed to have an amazing 14yrs, 9mos and 2 days with Todd.
      Todd was a beautiful piebald dachshund.The story of Todd’s name and how Todd came into my life is so special. I am having an extremely difficult time to say the least. I have the book: Goodbye, Friend as well as: Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates and I Will See You in Heaven. I totally agree with Scott that no one can tell a person how to love or how to grieve. Todd was everything to me and now my life is turned upside down. I mean no disrespect to the writer of this blog but, the statement you made, “It’s not healthy…” is the type of thing I keep hearing over and over. I think it is great that the writer of this blog has other things to comfort her and make her complete. Not everyone is so lucky. I have tried to look for support in my community to no avail. My family and friends do not understand as they all have kids, great spouses, jobs, other “pets”…sound familiar? I am totally alone in my grief. When a person dies, family and friends sit around and reminisce about their loved one. This is actually encouraged however; it has been the opposite when it comes to trying to express my sense of loss, loneliness, emptiness etc in regards to Todd. I think family and friends of someone who has lost a beloved “fur baby” should read, Goodbye, Friend. The book states in the very beginning that some people feel the loss as deeply as if it were a family member or friend..i.e. person and we should express our feelings and our feelings should be validated…not minimalized. Whether a person has a job, children, family, a supportive spouse etc should not matter. Pain is pain and a loss is a loss. I found this blog hoping for some encouragement or at least see that I am not truly alone in my feelings. Todd and I spent everyday together. Todd slept with me every night. I brushed Todd’s teeth, I sang to Todd, I talked to Todd and Todd “talked” to me. You want to talk about unconditional love….this type of love is rare. Todd is not my first “fur baby” however; I had Todd almost 10yrs longer then my previous “fur babies”. I loved and grieved the loss of each of my “fur babies” but Todd….this is so much more. The saying, “The silence is deafening” only scratches the surface. There is not a single thing or place in my “house” that does not remind me of Todd. I am sure some people are thinking….get a life! Todd was my life and I was Todd’s. I wanted to express my gratitude for your comment as it made me feel like, hey it is okay to feel this way. I need to hear that. I need to be able to share my grief with people who truly understand what I am going through. Thank you

      1. christine nightingale

        Gerri I am nodding my head as I read your comment. What you have said is so true. I tried to explain to people that when I lost my beautiful Lab Lucy I was like a mum grieving for her child. No one understood or could comprehend the pain I was in. I really had to deal with it all on my own. I remember just a few days after Lucy’s death someone was telling me a joke and I just did not want to listen, he said whats up? i said I have just lost my dog, you know that. He said, well, come and get another one then. Seriously, people can be so thoughtless. I mean who would say to a mother who had just buried her child go and have another one.

  22. Isabel, Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, I too lost my baby last Dec and then had to put another one down a week later, i just laid there in grief wanting to die, and yes a part of my heart died, I am functioning now, but the pain is so so hard to get over; my husband and I went and rescued two more needy pups, and they bring smiles to my face daily; and yes some days i feel guilty for being happy with the new babies, but I try and say to myself that God sent these two babies to me ,,,take care and pray

    1. Karen quesenberry

      jULIE 5/15/2019 i just lost my dachshund 4 days ago I’m still in shock she was my life for 17 years I had my bby girl from the time she was 6 weeks old my last child left home when Julie was 9 years old so she became my world I leave the house I feel empty and when I come home I feel lost I’m so depressed over loosing her I don’t no what to do all I have of her is a pile of dirt we’re we buried her out in the yard I just sit and cry and my heart feels like it weighs a ton I just can’t feel any interest in every day things I just can’t imagine each season knowing she won’t be there I’ll never see my baby again my life was buried with her and I don’t see how I’ll ever learn to live again I know I’ve set her free from her suffering but now I’m suffering and I just selfishly want her back and I know in my heart it will never happen

  23. My baby died 9/26/17 just two weeks ago, I miss her so much
    I get nauseous everyday when I start heading home, my heart hurts. I have been crying for her every night, look at her pictures and talk to her, I tell her I miss and love her. She was my best friend her name was “Free” a little five pound black and white chihuahua. I really don’t know how I’m going to get through this sadness.

    1. I am so sorry that Free is no longer with you physically but she is with you spiritually. Talk to her just like you used to. She can hear you We know how you feel.. you aren’t alone. XO

    2. I know how you feel about the recent passing of your fur pet; i think i could get through a human death better, our fur babies are like our children, only pet lovers would understand….oh i have heard all the things time will heal and yes it does, and they wouldnt want you crying day and night or remember the good times, and that is all good to hear but when your in the middle of the most horrible pain in the whole wide world nothing helps, one friend told me Tears are healing ointments” oh how that is true, my heart has a hole there and nothing can fill it, we did rescue two babies from Petfinders and they make us smile again, but those tears over my lost babies (two within a week of each other ) is always there, cant look at their pictures yet dont know if i ever will be able….somehow you need to fill that sorrow with something , and my suggestion is to rescue a needy pup or cat, you cant fill the hole in your heart and dont try to, just fill your heart with something that can help with your sorrow, Oh my thoughts dear friend are with you

    3. i sooo feel your pain. my michael was a Chihuahua and my life. i am crying for your loss and mine. i dont know how to go on withoyt him. hugs

  24. Oh how i know how you feel, i still cry over the two babies i had to put down one on Christmas eve and one on New Years Day, and i know alot of people and even people who have pets cant understand my still crying, I go to this site to remind me that I am not alone in this terrible loss , my heart was hurt really hurt when my babies left me, just keep coming to this site, we cant take away the pain but we can pray for you and tell you how much we totally understand

  25. I’m so very sorry for your loss. There is no pain like losing a dog, is there? Our dogs are our constant companions, so eager and happy to see us…even when we don’t have treats to offer….and our homes aren’t the same without them.

    You WILL feel better soon. You will heal, and your heart will become strong again. Allow yourself to grieve and learn how to live without your dog your way. People – even close family members – may not understand, and that’s okay. Don’t let them take away what you need to do, which is heal your way.

    I wrote this article a couple days ago, for a widow. I know you weren’t married to your dog :-) but the ideas for coping with grief may help you…

    Hope for a New Beginning When You Don’t Want to Be Alone

    Take good care of yourself. Come back anytime, let us know how you’re doing.


  26. Im in so much pain. Family does not understand. Every activity i did including showering with him and he loved it. Watching tv together. For everything i miss him so much, i can’t stop crying. I come home from work and a mess as soonas i wall in the door. He just died monday 7/31/2017 he was everything to me.

    1. so sorry Liz,
      I know it feels like you can’t go on believe me, we’ve all felt and feel this way. I can’t believe how some people think you should just get over it…. I cried more for my Hazel than I did when some of my family passed. She lived with me, like you. She was the constant in my life and I am so sorry for your loss. I really understand. Cry, look at pics, start a diary and talk to him… what ever you need to do. I am so sorry……

    2. My dog cruiser was put to sleep 09/12/2017. I held him through the whole time of him being put to sleep. Im still crying, sometimes I feel it will never stop. He loved and depended on me so. I feel like I let him down, his vet had given him surgery for a tumor a month and a half before this happened, she said shes sure she got it all. Than tuesday took him in, when he was home he started walking wobbling and didnt look well. I rushed him to the vets. She did an ultrasound and found out he had a tumor in his liver that she hadnt seen and the verdict was put him to sleep. Just the day before I brought him in for upset stomach and loss of appetite. She said he was fine and I trusted in her. But now I wish she had been a little more aware of his situation since he already had a tumor. I wonder if that day if she had given him the ultra sound if he would had lived. Because definetely the next day was the saddest day of my life. He was so cute from his stalking his squeaky ball. He even chose his own treats, I put 3 kinds down and he would hit the bag with his paw that he wanted we traveled every where together he loved me unconditionally. And now hes gone my tears are relentless I want my baby back. I know this isnt a reality, just a dream. But I will never forget the sweetest little dog in the world

      1. Pennie,
        I know how you feel, my Hazel died ultimately of a tumor on her spleen. I second guess my decision all the time. The day I took her to the vet, she couldn’t walk due to paralysis in her back legs but the vet said her gums were healthy looking. I wanted to bring her home with medicine and nurse her back to health but the vet kept saying how hard it would be because my Hazel was 90 pounds. My 2 older sons were with me and they both agreed that putting her down was the best thing for her…. but I’m not so sure. You did everything you could for Cruiser..I can see that. We don’t know how badly our loved ones were suffering so we really did the right thing by ending their pain and WE WILL see them again, I am sure of that. Time makes things a little easier. I can now say her name without bursting into tears.

  27. Michael Gallagher

    This is BS. You don’t heal from your best friend’s death by ignoring her. Don’t look at her collar or any reminder of her? Would you tell a person who lost a girlfriend or wife to not think about her? Of course not! To mourn for your dog, look at his/her photos/videos and remember the wonderful times you had. Laugh and cry. That’s how people mourn for a dog they love.

    1. I agree with you 100%. I lost Max on Dec. 21, 2016 and I think of him everyday, shed tears, look at his pictures, etc.
      Amen Michael!

    2. Christine Nightingale

      Absolutely agree with you. I carry my much missed Lab Lucy’s collar in my handbag and I look at photos of her all the time. I think of her all the time, I miss her all of the time. Four months on, it is beginning to get easier and some of the funny things she did during the 11 years are beginning to filter through the pain.

    3. Who said not to look at photos of a fur child that has passed away. I said that I can now look at my girls pictures and not break into a flood of tears. I did not at any time suggest to anyone to not look at their beloved pets photos. My house is surrounded by pictures of my girl….always has been from when she left us.

    4. Michael,
      I’m not sure where you read that you shouldn’t look at pictures but that is nuts to me. I have pictures of Hazel everywhere at my house, on my phone and at my work desk. I still have her bed in my room and my son has her collar hanging next to his bed. Don’t listen to anyone who says don’t look at pictures.

  28. Christopher, my heart goes out to you and I feel your pain. My beautiful cocker spaniel, Holli Jayne passed four months ago at the age of 10….she came into our lives at just 6 weeks old. I cried everyday for three months and I just wasn’t getting over my grief, so I visited my Dr and she referred me to a psychologist in which I poured my heart out to her. Believe me, it helps to speak with someone who will listen to your pain and puts it all into perspective. I am finally able to look at pictures of my girl without breaking out into a flood of tears. I really advise you to see your Dr.

    1. Tam,

      Thank you for your reply. Since you’re able to have compassion on me, a stranger, I’m sure Holli Jane experienced much love in your household, her not being a stranger.

      I was able to see a therapist today. My own symptoms have either maintained, or have improved slightly. I did, however, dry heave this morning.

      Thank you, again, for responding. I have been living fairly isolated for quite some time.

      1. Christopher, please keep it up with your therapist….it will help…pour out your heart to the professional as they do not discriminate. You are human and are grieving for the child that you have lost….there is nothing wrong with this…you have feelings my friend. I loved my beautiful Holli Jayne with all my heart and when she passed, she nearly took my heart with her but I pushed through…..i don’t know how really but I’m here today, so if I can do it….YOU CAN! Keep at it Christopher…you can recover, I know it feels impossible but you can in your own time.

    2. Tam,

      Thank you so much for your continued reply. It has been nearly 2 months, here, since Patches’s death.

      Some things have improved, in terms of my response. I am eating more. I still experience some guilty feelings with this, though, sometimes. I am able to socialize some (very little, but more than none). I can drink fluids without too much trouble. When I wake, I don’t have the same anxious sensations that I did before. They’re present, but lighter now.

      Other things have maintained. I still have “early morning awakenings.” Basically, I get up around 8 a.m. everyday, regardless of how little sleep I’ve had before. I notice, when I get home (I avoid my apartment, to a great extent), I tend to stay up till about 2 a.m. Some nights, I’ll stay up to 3 or 5. When I finally do go to sleep, I’m back up at 8. The night I went to bed at around 5, I woke at 9:30 a.m., though. Previously, I was an 8 hour a night guy, who might go more than that, with maybe a nap in the middle of the day. So, for me, it is something different.

      I’ve tried melatonin and Benadryl. I still wake.

      I cry, of course. Out of all the symptoms or reactions I’ve experienced since Patches’s death, crying is actually welcome. On the occasions when I haven’t cried, it has bothered me.

      Some things have gotten worse.

      I’ve had some bad nightmares, and some startling images disturb me in my sleep.

      I have morbid thoughts, and (now) I have a phone with unlimited minutes on it in case I need to call someone at a hotline.

      I carry a pained feeling in my chest, and often have the choppy breathe, as if I have been crying (even if, when it happens, I hadn’t been, just before).

      There have been times where I have been able to thank God for Patches and think about how grand it was to walk and live with her.

      At other times, I think about her suffering (which I increased, by following advice I found over the internet, trying to solve it and help her clear, here at home) and death.
      I have a lot of regret, guilt, and sorrow over this.

      I pray for her (and for us) a lot.

      1. do hot lines help? Nov 18 2017 i lost my chi he was hit by a car. i cant stop crying….nearly all day every day. i cant sleep like you…crazy hours and waking to terrible visions. lmk a number to call pls

  29. I would love to reply to everyone individually but for obvious reasons… I won’t. To each of you who are grieving as I am without my Hazel, I just wanted to thank you for sharing your stories. They give me strength and I realize that I am not alone. It’s been 4 weeks for me and although it is awful and I cry every day, each day feels a little better for me. I know that this is my “new normal”. Don’t get me wrong, I still talk to her constantly and make deals with her asking if I could just see and feel her again but it does get a little easier. I started a diary so every day I write a little something to her. This makes me feel better. I hope each and every one of you find a way to cope with your loss.

    1. My beloved Patches ate chocolate on the day Hazel died. Patches herself died 4 days later. It’s difficult for me because not only did she suffer so much during that time, but I didn’t get her to the vet until the morning of (the 8th). I was scared, and broke, and reading information on line that led me to think she would/could clear the chocolate with enough time. On top of this, some of the other medical advice I read on line not only did not help her, but increased her suffering. Now, my friend has died. Our relationship and our love was storybook up until then. She was elderly. She had a chronic health condition (congestive heart failure). I had been anticipating her death for about two years. Still, she was very strong. She still had life left in her, I believe. She had developed seizures too, but when I was with her, we steered around that (by helping her through them). I think she would have lived another year. Maybe, a seizure would have got her, but I think she would have lived another year. Up until that chocolate on the 4th, she still had her appetite, her curiosity, and her personality. She loved loving me. I loved loving her. We could still go out for walks: short walks, and excursions outside, but we could do it. She would still bound over the blankets in excitement for treats, and always got her cut of whatever I was having (though, a lot less, after the CHF diagnosis). I think about the time I wasted, even though by far, I didn’t waste most of our time together. I’ve read this is a common thing: the guilt over wasted time. Mainly, my guilt is over not getting her to the doctor (in time), and all the suffering that and the bad advice I followed entailed. I knew that chocolate was poisonous to dogs, but at the time, I thought that if I didn’t have the money upfront ($300-$3000), that they wouldn’t see me (or that they would judge me, euthanize her, or take her from me, because of the neglectful condition she was in: i had fallen off her grooming and her medication regimen). I have some thought that I was letting work overwhelm me. I had a bad attitude at work, and that just made my work seem so exhausting. She was loving, of course, all the way through. There’s more, but I see I have to start getting ready for work. The guilt and the sorrow are hard. It has been difficult to find a story quite like mine. Patches was a sweet and loving animal, and more so, even for a dog. I don’t know how I’m going to live with this yet. I hope I can, actually. I don’t want to live in misery. Her last days were miserable, though. I’m hoping God has mercy on me, and helps me, and puts us back together. I pray for her a lot, everyday. I cry everyday. It has been hard to eat. Drinking fluids has become easier. I have the classic depression symptom of “early morning awakenings.” I wake up at the same time everyday, without an alarm, no matter how little sleep I’ve had. I wake up with a pretty dreadful feeling of anxiety or panic. I go for walks to try to alleviate this.

      My friend. My beloved friend. I just want to be with her again. The 18th will be 40 days.

      1. Christopher,
        I am so sorry about Patches and I know the pain and guilt that you are going through, believe me. If you’ve read my previous posts, you will see that Patches is still with you and doesn’t want you to dwell on the last days and how you could have done it differently. You have to believe that this was how she was supposed to pass. I know it’s easier to tell someone else this than do it myself but I am gradually beginning to realize that by playing the last couple of days over and over again in my head is not the way Hazel wants me to remember her. I can actually think about her now without bursting into tears…. but it is still difficult. I know the feeling of not wanting to eat and the overwhelming depression, but again, Patches does not want you to do this. She is happy and wants you to be happy. I know it’s hard to believe something that we have no scientific proof of but if you read and near death experiences, they all add up to the same thing – there is a life after death and she is waiting for you when it is your time. Until then, try to take care of yourself. I feel your pain! Lisa

    2. Lisa,

      Thank you for your personal reply.

      I struggle to find consolation through my religious beliefs. I think I do best when I just pray (instead of reading what the naysayers say on line. I already know, now, their views, and it’s discouraging).

      I pray for Patches (and others) everyday.

  30. Had my beautiful staffie cross put to sleep a month ago, jenga a recue dog, was so loving with everyone, she net, everyone lived her, then one day she slipped out my back garden behind me and pinned down a passing collie on a lead with her owner, i was shocked to the core, when the dust had settled, and after talking to an expert, he reckoned it was probably a one off as the dog had, threatened jenga one morning as i was walking her, and this was a bit of payback, i had hardly slept with worry incase she did it again, and then she did as another dog was walking by with its owner, when she jumped y front garden fence and did the same, u had her put to sleep, i was in shock and have struggled to sleep since, with guilt, my friends were so shocked with what she had done, she actually played with the black lab next door, hardly a day goes by when i have not shed a tear, i know i spoiled her so much, i really treated her like a child, she was only 2 , after a year with no problems, she did what she did, and im sure she would have did it again, i miss her so much

    1. Tom, don’t worry, read the passage below and know that it is true. I won’t write all 9 things that your dog wants you to know (see my reply to Scottie further down). 9 Things Your Deceased Pet Wants You to Know
      1. There’s nothing that could have been done differently
      A Soul’s path is planned before they are born onto this Earth. This plan includes all possible exits from this world. And when the Soul leaves this Earth, know that this exit was part of their Soul’s plan and a specific choice made by their soul.
      There’s nothing you, or anyone, could have done differently to save them. The time at which your Pet’s Spirit leaves this world is no one’s doing, it’s no one’s fault.
      When it’s the Soul’s time to exit their physical body, everything that can be done, has already been done. Everything that needed to happen, did. Your pet wants you to know that there’s absolutely nothing you could have done differently, you did everything exactly right.
      2. They chose you as their parent(s)
      Just as the Soul chooses exit paths and plans for their life, your pet also selected you as their parent.
      Your dog, your cat, your bird – chose you, as the one who would make them feel the most loved and bring them the most comfort and joy while they were here. And you did.
      Your pet wants you know that you were and are the perfect parent.
      3. They understand your sadness, but would rather see you happy
      As a Spirit now, your pet knows that sadness is part of the grieving process, but they wished it wasn’t.
      Remember how, when they were alive, they would snuggle up next to you, sitting by your side (or on top of you), whenever you were feeling sad or feeling bad? They wanted to make you feel better *just like you thought* and they wished they could do something to make you happy, then. And they still do, even now, They don’t want their exit to have brought pain, in fact, no one does. But they understand that this is part of the process.

    2. Tom, I know you feel terrible, but just know that (repeating what I wrote further down) There’s nothing that could have been done differently. A Soul’s path is planned before they are born onto this Earth. This plan includes all possible exits from this world. And when the Soul leaves this Earth, know that this exit was part of their Soul’s plan and a specific choice made by their soul.
      There’s nothing you, or anyone, could have done differently to save them. The time at which your Pet’s Spirit leaves this world is no one’s doing, it’s no one’s fault.
      When it’s the Soul’s time to exit their physical body, everything that can be done, has already been done. Everything that needed to happen, did. Your pet wants you to know that there’s absolutely nothing you could have done differently, you did everything exactly right.
      2. They chose you as their parent(s)
      Just as the Soul chooses exit paths and plans for their life, your pet also selected you as their parent.
      Your dog, your cat, your bird – chose you, as the one who would make them feel the most loved and bring them the most comfort and joy while they were here. And you did.
      Your pet wants you know that you were and are the perfect parent.
      3. They understand your sadness, but would rather see you happy
      As a Spirit now, your pet knows that sadness is part of the grieving process, but they wished it wasn’t.
      Remember how, when they were alive, they would snuggle up next to you, sitting by your side (or on top of you), whenever you were feeling sad or feeling bad? They wanted to make you feel better *just like you thought* and they wished they could do something to make you happy, then. And they still do, even now, They don’t want their exit to have brought pain, in fact, no one does. But they understand that this is part of the process.

      1. What beautiful words Lisa. Thank you!
        I still pine for my beautiful baby girl Holli the cocker…I cry nearly everyday and it’s been three months. Reading your post was very calming, so I just want to say thank you again….even if it was addressed to Tom, it was lovely to read.

  31. My sweet beloved Hazed left us on Monday, May 8, 2017 and I feel like I can’t live without her and I’m wondering why I didn’t spend her last day with her instead of going to work. On Saturday, I was outside doing yard work and she was in the house barking non stop for 3 hours. We couldn’t let her out because we were power washing our deck. that night she was lethargic and I just thought that she over did it. but the next day she couldn’t walk so my son and I carried her up to bed and when she wasn’t better on Monday I made the vet appointment in hopes that she just needed an antibiotic.. but the vet said her back legs were paralyzed. I still wanted to take her home with medicine but my 2 sons were there and they said she wouldn’t get better so we put her down. I can’t eat or sleep. Hazel was diagnosed on May 5, 2016 with a tumor on her spleen and the vet gave her only a couple of months to live. She suggested I give her a Chinese Herb called Yunnan Baiyao and I gave it to her daily and my sweet girl lived for another year. She loved my cooking and I used to joke that she probably thought I was cooking for her every night since I would always give her a “special treat” which was what ever we had for dinner. She was with us for 12 beautiful years and was there for the good and bad times but the one thing that is so hard for me is that she was ALWAYS there and now she’s not here. The house feels horribly quiet. The last few months of Hazel’s life, we had to lay wewe pads down all over the house because she couldn’t always make it to the door… but that was okay. Now my house is too clean.. and quiet. I hurt so much that it feels like I can’t go on. I know she is here with me in spirit but the selfish part of me wants to hear, smell and feel my pretty girl. Hazel was a 75 pound red nose pit bull and she was jus the sweetest devoted dog I know. I LOVE YOU HAZELxoxo

  32. christine nightingale

    My beautiful Labrador Lucy was in my life for just over 11 years. I fell in love with her when she was a little plump puppy and I loved and cherished her until I had to make the hardest but kindest decision to let her go as she had been diagnosed with liver cancer 2 weeks earlier. My life revolved around her and even when I had to work she was often fleeting into my thoughts throughout the day. From the moment I had to say goodbye to her on the 1st April 2017 she has been in my thoughts from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep at night. I have cried a river and I have had a day when I thought I just want to close my eyes and not wake up and then I will be with her. My partner says “we live, we die” If only it was that easy for me to deal with losing her. I tell myself she had a good, loving home and had a great life but it dont make me feel better. My father used to be cruel to the dogs we had as he was to us and so when I took Lucy I told myself she was always going to be loved and she was. I absolutely loved her, she was such an easy dog to love as she had a sweet nature and loved everything and everyone and was never ever aggressive even when a dog bit her. She was the sweetest dog and I was very very lucky to have her in my life. I feel empty and very very sad that she has gone and is no more. I have a job I really enjoy and that keeps me busy. I have a partner who I have been with for 18 years and I have some good friends but not one of them can help me. I just want everyone to leave me alone! I have been told by so many dog owners the past few weeks “go and get yourself another dog” Why would I want to do that? They are not Lucy and I only want Lucy and another dog wont make me feel better or take away the ache i have in my heart. Yeah, her death has broken my heart. I have lost my mum, brother and 3 close friends and lots of colleagues through the years and I lost 2 beloved cats, even my budgies so I am no stranger to death. I think with Lucy its unconditional love, she loved me no matter and I just loved her. Is there something wrong with me? Am I lacking something in my life? Why cant it just be that I adored my dog and I miss her

    1. Kimberly E. Wilgus

      December 21, 2016 was the day Max went to heaven. In my home. Laps of Love.He was surrounded by his toys, his leash, sweater and all his special items that were a part of his life. I prayed with him and was with him until the final breath. His ashes are with me, his locks of hair and his pawprint. My heart aches every day and I just got a good cry out of my system. I miss him and love him so very much. Max passed exactly one month before his 15th birthday. when will the hurt end? Just dont seem to care about much. Go through the daily grind with emptiness. MOMMY LOVES YOU MAX?????

      1. Kimberly, unfortunately the hurt doesn’t end but I can tell you that it does get easier. It’s been nearly 9 weeks since my beautiful cocker girl Holli Jayne passed and today I still shed tears. But it’s easier than the first week she left us. I thought I was going to pass on myself as I was so distraught and just wanted to be with her. But it gets easier with time.

    2. There is nothing wrong with You I lost my baby girl keditha on may 12 she loved me I loved her she was so sweet I have lost family and it has not hurt as bad as this I had her for 10 years 8 month to short I could not save her ruptured tumor I her spleen I stayed with her at home in the yard as told her was ok to w
      Go to sleep and she did she was gone two minutes later I miss her so very much like u I don’t want to replace her love I want her back and it hurts

  33. You know you are in trouble when you type ‘my dog died and I don’t want to live anymore’ into a search engine. But it looks like I’m not alone in feeling this way.
    My 14 year old beautiful girl, Tajee, had recently been diagnosed with geriatric vestibular disease, which is not life threatening but can give you a scare. I nursed her back to health over a couple of weeks and she was almost back to normal with the exception of not being very well balanced in the dark. At this time I had had a short holiday booked for months with a good friend to go to walk a track in New Zealand and I felt that Taj was going to be O:K as my partner was staying home and would be able to look after her. The only thing I stressed to my partner about was not to let Taj out in the dark by herself as she could get into trouble.
    Two days after I left I spoke to my partner and Taj had disappeared. Of course this stressed me out but I felt that she would turn up.
    That night I dreamt that Taj came to me feeling very sad and she led me past burial mounds and down to a swiftly flowing river into which she disappeared into and was swept away and there was nothing I could do.
    Just a dream right ?
    A couple of days later I found out that Taj had drowned in the pond in our front yard after my partner had let her go outside by herself in the dark.
    I feel like my soul has been ripped apart and that I failed the light of my life when she needed me the most. I can’t work, sleep or focus on anything and I just want to end my life so I can be with her.
    This is coupled with a growing hatred of my partner for not listening when I warned her about Taj not being very good in the dark and that she should not be left by herself if she needed a nightime wee. I don’t want to blame my partner as she has to deal with this as well, but everytime I look at her it reminds me that it is because of her that my best friend, my soul dog, died a tragic and preventable death.
    I also can’t stop with the personal recriminations and ‘what if’ questioning.
    I have lost family and friends in the past but the grief and pain was never as intense and overwhelming as what I am feeling about losing my sweet girl right now.
    At this point in time, a week after her death, I am really having a hard time finding a way to get through this and the emptiness in my heart and in my home is deafening.
    This is the first time I have ever left a comment on any site but I thought sharing my experience might help with the grieving process.
    Time will tell I suppose.
    I hope my girl is running in the afterlife sunshine and I yearn for the day when I can run with her again.
    Love you always little dog ?

    1. Ooooh Scotty, I know the feeling all so well and it’s the worst feeling that you probably will experience in your life. They are our fur children and we don’t get to love them for long enough. You think that you have years ahead when they are puppies but that time goes by too quickly and before we know it, they’re gone. My girl was just 10 when she passed away on the 8th March after contracting pneumonia after receiving 10 doses of chemo to treat lymphoma. I still have days when I can’t believe she has gone. It hits me that she really isn’t here and there is nothing that anyone can say or do to make it better. In the beginning, I didn’t want to be here, I just wanted to end it all to be with Holly. My husband would hold me as I cried and howled for her…the pain inside was incredible and I just didn’t know what to do but I had one person whom I could talk to about Holly, my mum….she would listen to me endlessly and I believe this helped. I can’t stress enough how important it is to have at least one person who understands what you’re going through, someone that you can open up to. Also having a diary and recording all the special moments of your friend. I think that dogs know when it’s their time to leave us and there isn’t a thing we can do about it.

    2. christine nightingale

      Scotty I feel so sorry for you. that is just awful. sorry to say but I am someone who would not forgive my partner for letting that happen. Cannot offer you any comfort at all………just so sorry this happened

    3. You are not alone Scotty. I am feeling as heart broken as you. I don’t want to eat, sleep or anything and no one else completely understands how my world has been torn apart after losing Hazel just this past Monday. Nothing helps and I keep turning my head toward my living room where she would sleep on the ottoman expecting her to be there. I don’t usually post either – in fact I don’t even have a facebook account but I wanted you to know that you’re not alone. Below is a beautiful article I read and it gave me SOME comfort. I hope this helps just a little. 9 Things Your Deceased Pet Wants You to Know
      1. There’s nothing that could have been done differently
      A Soul’s path is planned before they are born onto this Earth. This plan includes all possible exits from this world. And when the Soul leaves this Earth, know that this exit was part of their Soul’s plan and a specific choice made by their soul.
      There’s nothing you, or anyone, could have done differently to save them. The time at which your Pet’s Spirit leaves this world is no one’s doing, it’s no one’s fault.
      When it’s the Soul’s time to exit their physical body, everything that can be done, has already been done. Everything that needed to happen, did. Your pet wants you to know that there’s absolutely nothing you could have done differently, you did everything exactly right.
      2. They chose you as their parent(s)
      Just as the Soul chooses exit paths and plans for their life, your pet also selected you as their parent.
      Your dog, your cat, your bird – chose you, as the one who would make them feel the most loved and bring them the most comfort and joy while they were here. And you did.
      Your pet wants you know that you were and are the perfect parent.
      3. They understand your sadness, but would rather see you happy
      As a Spirit now, your pet knows that sadness is part of the grieving process, but they wished it wasn’t.
      Remember how, when they were alive, they would snuggle up next to you, sitting by your side (or on top of you), whenever you were feeling sad or feeling bad? They wanted to make you feel better *just like you thought* and they wished they could do something to make you happy, then. And they still do, even now, They don’t want their exit to have brought pain, in fact, no one does. But they understand that this is part of the process.
      They want you to remember the happy, love filled, and joyous times you spent together, and look back upon them with gratitude and thanks. They believe the time you spent together was a cherished gift and that this gift is a call for celebration – and smiles.
      4. They know you loved them and hope you know they loved you back
      Your pet doesn’t want you to wonder if they knew how much you loved them, they do.
      It’s said that grief is the final gift of love given from one to another, and the depth of that grief is a measure of the strength of the love between the bond.
      They know how deeply you loved them, and they want you to know that they loved you back in equal measure (if not more!).
      5. They’re still right by your side
      You aren’t alone. They aren’t gone forever – they’re still right by your side. And they always will be, if you let them. The Spirit World exists right alongside our physical world, and while your pet may no longer be occupying their physical body, they’re still with you in Spirit.
      And remember, that’s who you loved in the first place. You loved their mannerisms, their attitude, and their personality – all elements of their Spirit. You didn’t love them for their fur, or their one standing straight up ear, or their snaggle teeth (ok, maybe you did a little). Mostly, you loved them for who they were as a Spirit, and that Spirit, still exists right beside you.
      After they pass on, your pet wants you to know that they still cuddle up next to you, still join you on the couch, and still want to be with you, if you want that too.
      6. They still want to do things with you
      They’re still here, in Spirit form, and they still enjoy your company and want to do the things you always did together.
      If they used to ride shotgun on car trips, or they used to love accompanying you on hikes, bike rides, or jogs, or they used to love sitting on your lap while you worked late at night – you pets wants you to know, they still enjoy doing those things, and still want to join you.
      All you have to do to invite them along, is pat the couch beside you and encourage them to jump up, or give them the okay to hop out of the car and accompany you on the hike.
      7. They don’t want you to regret the way that they died
      This is a sad one, especially for us. Mama died suddenly and in my husband’s arms, and her final moments are images he can’t shake. And he’s not alone. Nearly all pet owners have some sadness or regret about their pet’s final moments.
      If you had to carry your dog into the vet to be put to sleep, your dog does not want you to regret this choice. It was their choice, too, to be in your arms as they took their final breaths, and to be surrounded by your love as their Spirit left their body.
      Your pet wants you to have no regret and to have no sadness, they want you to know that these were their choices, and you honored them perfectly. You did exactly what they wanted.
      8. They know you often loved them more than you loved yourself
      Even if you didn’t have proper food to eat, they know you somehow managed to buy them food and treats. Your pet knows that you often showered them in more love than you ever showed yourself. They know this, and they have deep gratitude for your love. This is exactly why you were the perfect choice as their parent, and they want to thank you, for loving them even when at times it seemed so hard to love anything at all.
      9. They loved you more than they loved themselves
      Your pet was an individual, too. They had things they felt badly about and things that they knew could be improved upon, and reasons, that they felt they were unworthy of love, just like we all do.
      But you, you were always supportive, always loving, and always doting, even at times, when you thought you weren’t. Your pet loved you, and loves you, more than they ever loved themselves.
      And if you’ll allow it, they’d like to still be a part of your life.

      1. Thanks Lisa. I am so very sorry for your loss.I feel your grief and pain so please know you are not alone.
        I truly believe the intense bond that forms between our four legged friends and ourselves is something so special that for those who have never experienced the joy, laughter and truest companionship that they give so freely, cannot possibly understand the immense and profoundly painful loss we feel when our best friends leave this life.
        Thanks for the helpful points in you post. I so hope it is all true !
        Even though I still miss my girl on a daily basis I have found that making a memorial grave with a perpetual candle burning helpful as I have somewhere to go and still ‘ talk’ to her and get through this most painful grieving. She is still with me everywhere I go as the memories are so deeply ingrained that I know I will miss her for the rest of my life.

  34. My 12 year old bulldog passed away last weekend. I’m a total mess. I miss him sleeping with me. Greeting me when I get home and just being there. I see him everywhere in the house and sometimes I think i hear him. Advise of how to get thru this is much needed

    1. This period is the hardest & no matter what anyone says to you, nothing makes any sense.
      It will be seven weeks tomorrow since my girl Holli Jayne left me and I’m still grieving for her. I cry nearly every day but I am better than I was….not long after she had passed all i wanted to do was to end it all and be with her but that’s not fair on my loved ones, so I thought to myself that I must push through and remember her as the beautiful and gracious girl that she was. It’s very hard but I have to be strong….just as you will become. It may take you a long time to recover but I can suggest to just surround yourself with people who understand what you’re going through and make you feel better and to write down the memories of your fur child so that you can read your story when the time feels right. This was great therapy for me.
      Keep in touch if you need to chat.

  35. I just lost my little buddy 3 days ago. Had a tumor that ruptured, and could not be saved. Its tough. I have kept his collar, favorite toy, and a couple other things that are important for me to keep. I just don’t know what to do with everything else. Is it too early? Might sound selfish, but I do not want to donate anything. I wanted his toys to be only his and special. I am going to dispose of them, but not sure when? If I do it now, I feel guilty for some reason, like it is disrespecting him. Some say it is better to get rid of things now so you can have a more special memory and not constant sorrow reminders. I don’t know which to do. Any thoughts?

  36. I recently lost my dog that I had since she was born. Border Terrier Jack Russell cross. Loved her to bits. 21 years old, born on summer-solstice. I miss her every day and I feel like my life is slowly becoming less worth living. She was in my arms at home as we have her the injection and I feel as if though I killed her. This is a sadness I haven’t felt in a long time.

    1. Your baby lived a long life and that maybe not be long enough for you or any of us but she was ready to leave. My girl left me only 5 weeks ago and in the beginning I couldn’t stand life without her (read my previous posts) I just couldn’t see a way forward but I slowly am finding my way. It’s been so difficult and I think about my girl constantly but I have surrounded myself with photos of her (something I couldn’t bare the thought of a couple of weeks ago) but I’m getting there. Time heals but doesn’t cure. You will feel better but just don’t push yourself, grief has no shelf life.

    2. I put down my 13 year old baby boy back in November and I still feel your pain. He passed away in my arms and I still feel the guilt of putting him down. Everyday I wonder if I made the right choice. I just want to be with him again. I miss him so terribly much, he was my first love. I have never loved so much until I had him.

  37. The worst part is when they don’t return home and you don’t know where they are. The thought that my dog might be suffering somewhere is unbearable.

    1. yes i am with you that would be the worst, just keep praying that whom ever found your pet is a wonderful person,

  38. hello guys today will be the first night without sleeping next to my dog. knowing that i won’t wake up to him biting my fingertips anymore, makes me feel empty. i might have other dogs but this dog he was different he had a unique personality. knowing that i won’t see Maui anymore i just feel different. I don’t know what to do. He was the only reason why I would go out in the morning to train him. what should i do to feel steady

    1. Oh my heart goes out to you. I lost my furry baby dog 30 days ago and those first few days were the worst. I couldn’t believe that she had gone….her bed was still here waiting for her to come home from being sick in hospital but she didn’t make it home. Nobody can tell you what to feel but can only explain their own feelings. It’s a pain that won’t leave you for a while and you feel that you’re going through hell and that its not fair that they left you this way. It’s perfectly normal and you will get better…something that i heard so often but it will be in your own time. Cry until you think there is no more tears…believe me there will be. I cry for my girl all the time but each day is a little easier…I emphasize on the little. I’m still not feeling myself but I have to get better and try to heal my broken heart. Just ride the wave and let your emotions out.

      1. Reading these do help, I lost my dog 30 days from tomorrow, it’s hard it really is I go to bed he’s not there i wake up he’s not there. He’s gone I know this and no one really understands what I’m going through except for the people on here. It’s been comforting . I will rewind a bit on that dreaded day 3/7/17 as my dog lay in my arms after the shot was administered I asked him Lexxy i love you so much, what do you think about me getting another dog? With all his strength he lifted his head looked at me while tilting his head and licked my nose put his head back in my arms took 2 big deep breaths and passed away. I think my dog told me .,,,be happy daddy I love you and thanked me. Right now I’m on the bus going to work and it’s hard from bursting out in years as I write this. The next day I started looking for a new boy to fill my life, he won’t replace my Lexx but I feel he will honor his memory after all I did get Lexxys permission. While at home every pix every spot in the house I see I think of the memorys and start to cry,it’s getting better but after 17 years it’s hard Lexx not being there . In less than 2 weeks Roux will arrive to start a new chapter. For all of you that have recently lost your best friend…Ow what your going through and I’m so sorry for your loss and I know words can never heal that hole your feeling I’m sorry.

    2. Hey there, It is for me too the grief is so intense right now I don’t even want to go on. Maybe we can gain strength from each other….

      1. oh how i know the feeling of not wanting to go on or live without your dog, i would share that with some of my friends and thought it horrible that i was feeling that way, gosh when she said that i felt like i was an alien or something, then i went on this site a site that people who have lost a pet will totally understand me and how i felt. Dear friend it will get better they told me that and i didnt believe it and i didnt want it to get better i just wanted my baby back and I still do, i also wish i could have my baby back and love and kiss on her

      2. We sure can Wendy. I am so very thankful that I found this site and can chat to people who know exactly how I feel and have experienced the loss of a furry child. Reading all your heartbreaking posts comforted me when I felt I was going to give up on myself and thought that I was going insane…how would I ever make it through another day without my girl Holli Jayne but I just cried and cried and held her scooby toy .Those first few days were horrendous but I’m still here and I talk to her as if she is still around. I have also been writing down all of my memories of her and this keeps her alive in my mind. I keep the book on the table, along with a pen and each time I think of something, I write it down. At first there were tears but I believe it’s helping me with my grief. If I can help anyone by listening, please feel free to message me.

  39. Hello fellow pet lovers.
    It’s been two months now and the emptiness remains overwhelming for me. Misty, my Rat Terrier lived a long and wonderful life, 13 years however the last several months were tough battling IMHA. For those who are familiar it’s a tough hill to climb but I am at peace everything medically was done to support her. Like other owners I share the loss of my best friend and loved companion. My routine and the complete feeling of responsibility are gone from my life. There appears to be complete disruption in day to day activity and flashbacks are painful. Viewing the many pictures and videos cannot occur without tears and a general feeling of emotional stress so I have stopped for now. The memorial I created helps I light a candel as a life symbol everyday but it cannot replace the bark, and hugs I miss so much. Being there for her hugging tightly I was the last thing she heard and saw before her peace.
    I am taking it slow and hope I can recover but something has changed in me, something has been lost. I cherish all the memories, head out the window sitting on my lap her ears flapping, nose acutely sniffing the fresh air. Misty, you are missed but not forgotten.
    Wishing us all peace and recovery for out losses.

    1. Thinking of you and your loss, I will say it has been three months for me since my babies left me, the tears are less but the heart ache is still very hard, praying now for you

      1. Thanks so much Corrine for your message. It’s three weeks tomorrow since Hol left us. I still can’t believe she has gone and lately I am forced to listen to family members saying move on and let Hol rest in peace. Grrrrrrrr….do they actually think I want to be in this spot? I am yearning to move on but I can’t force my mind to do something it’s not ready to do.

      2. I too had to hear over and over “she was old and lived a happy life” and etc, boy and so many people that i called dear close friends didnt even call or send a card, what if one of my kids passed, my fur babies are my kids i understand not everyone thinks of pets as i do but to call or send a card they would be doing it for me , some people dont realize how precious the phone call is or the card, or a hug,

    2. My baby girl Holli Jayne, an English cocker spaniel was only 10 years when she passed just 3 days ago from Pneumonia. She had been battling Lymphoma for 3 months and things seemed to be going well with the treatment….the vet Doctor called her a dog as ‘tough as old nails’as she was coping so well with the chemo. She then contacted pneumonia and became so very weak within just a couple of days. We took her straight to the vet and Hol was admitted….the morning after, she died, along with my heart. I can’t believe she is gone and that i will never see my girl again. Everywhere i look around the house, i see her but it’s my imagination…i yearn to have her in my arms again that i could burst inside. I am an emotional mess and yet my husband who loved Hol dearly is coping really well. I am dying inside and my husband is carrying on with life as if nothing has happened. I feel like screaming at him and saying ‘can’t you grieve like me?’ It would be a great comfort.
      I miss my girl so much and keep asking why she left us…..I’m heartbroken. T

      1. Hi, i know how you were feeling my husband didnt even want me to cry in front of him, he said he grieved his way and that was to stay busy and basicly stuff it, so i had to try and put on a happy face when he was around so as not to bring him down, so I went to Hospice and they have a program for going through a loss and it can be any kind of loss and they were so helpful, cause your in a group and can share with those people and then you get to know them and before you know it your getting better and have made a few friends. this site here is wonderful but if you want home town help go to Hospise

      2. christine nightingale

        Tam I can really relate to you. My partner was very upset when we had to say goodbye to my beautiful Labrador Lucy but within 2 days he was fine. I am still in a bad way since the 1st April. He says “we live, we die” she had a great life. If only it was that easy for me, because I have had days when I want to close my eyes and not wake up. My partner says I am not normal to keep feeling the way I do and others have said “get another dog” It really can be a lonely time grieving for your furbaby. I loved my dog more than anyone, even my partner. Anyway, I know how you feel I cant comfort or give you advice because I am struggling myself but I understand your pain because I am going through the same as you. Take care

    3. Hello my name is Linda and our beautiful beloved greyhound of nearly 14 years old was put to sleep on 7th March at 12pm. My heart aches and my body feels heavy, I am finding it hard and crying a lot of the time, sometimes without any warning tears will be rolling down my face. I miss her so much, my partner tells me to remember the happy years we had together, we did everything together. I have read that it will get better but at the moment things are worse. I have been grieving for her from December 2016 when she began to get ill knowing that our time together was soon to end. Nicole I love you x

      1. Hi Linda,
        I feel your pain. My beloved Cocker Spaniel named Holli Jayne passed away on March 8th after battling Lymphoma….she was 10 years old and we had her from the age of 7 weeks. The pain is unbearable and I can’t seem to see a light. Today I made the decision on seeing my Dr to get some counselling as my husband doesn’t share my pain, so it’s causing a little conflict in our household and I need to talk about my feelings towards my girl, he doesn’t see a need.
        Please, if you need to talk to someone….feel free to contact me as I know exactly what you’re going through.

    4. I understand your pain Neil, I lost my Pug in November last year, from the same condition, she suffered so much in the few weeks before she died with a blood transfusion and the seemingly endless round of medication.
      She stopped eating and drinking on that last day and I took her to the vet, she collapsed and died on his table, she was only 7 years old and such a character. I miss her terribly, still can’t believe she has gone.

  40. 13 days ago I wrote about my dog Murphy. I wrote about how his health was deteriorating and I feared having to make the painful decision. Well, yesterday we put my sweet boy to sleep. I have so many emotions mainly sadness but also regret. I keep thinking was it too soon? He had his ups and downs. After we made the appt,he seemed like he was doing better. I was so confused and felt horrible. He got excited when it was time to get in the car. I can’t stop thinking about everything that happened yesterday and the time leading up to his last day. I feel terrible like I gave up on him. Maybe we could have had more time before he got too bad? I was expecting him to be around for another 5 years. My heart feels broken and my belly hurts. I mention things that are on my mind and my family says I’m being too hard on myself or they ask why I’m doing this to myself? I feel a very small sense of relief only because now I don’t have to worry about what I’m going to get him to eat or is he going to gain weight or checking his stool to see if it changed from the black, tar it was, wondering if he was going to vomit today or wondering if he was in pain and how much pain he was in. I keep second guessing my decision which is hurting me. Also, when they euthanized him I stayed in the room for the first shot but not the second. The vet said he didn’t know I was there but I can’t help but wonder if he did. As you can see I’m tearing myself up over losing him. One minute I feel OK and the next I’m miserable and crying or feel like all the air left my lungs. I’m not sure what I’m trying to get from writing this but I just feel the need to write my feeling and thoughts. I just hope I made the right decision. I love you, Murphy. You were the best dog and loved me unconditionally. You were by my side through the good and bad. I wish I still had you in my life. You definitely were the best dog to adopt and made my life so much better. I’m sorry for the decision I made. Love you Murph.

    1. Oh how i know how you feel, I had to make that decision for two of my babies within one week of each other, I can still see my baby on that table she looked at me and then they gave her the shot, I will never forget her beautiful face looking at me. I know i cry less than i did cause it happened in Dec 2016 but I still get so very sad every day thinking of them and how i wish they were with me romping around and having fun, and the many days they gave me kisses, it is so very very had to go on each day without them

    2. Erica, your story sounds identical to my own story ,i feel like I let my dog down by taking him to the vet , the doc said his organs were shutting down he had almost no BP he left in my arms , I cry everyday he passed March 7th 2017 at 953am . Lexx was my world. He was nearly 17 I got him at 3wks , I bottle fed him , our bond was as close as close could get.

      1. I’m sorry for your loss, Victor. This Friday will be one month since that dreadful day I put him down. I still cry and go over every detail in my head. I have been having some hard day’s lately. I still second guess my decision and can’t believe he’s gone. Murphy was my dog, he loved me the most. He would follow me around and wanted to be by my side. My heart is still broken. I hope you will find some light in this dark time. It sounds like your dog lived a long and happy life by your side. I wish I could tell you not to feel guilty or blame yourself but I have to work on that myself before I can say that to others. Our dogs were loved greatly and they knew it.

  41. We have lost our beautiful German Wirehair Pointer. He owned our hearts for 10 years and took it with him when he died 21 days ago. He just laid down beside my husband’s chair and in front of me and died during his afternoon nap. We are devastated and the tears won’t stop . No warnings , no reason. We loved him so much our souls are broken.

    1. Hi Margie. So very sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. A piece of me died Jan 11 when my pug Lola passed after 16 and a half years. I cry every day still. I feel so lost without her and an overwelming sadness follows me everywhere daily. I know. How you feel. Hurts so bad. I will never get over it, I am trying to get through it. Very hard.

    2. My babies oh how I miss my dogs. One passed on Christmas eve and the other New Years Day, I miss them beyond words, so I know how you feel, we did end up rescuing two dogs from the pound and they are a joy to us, but the dogs who left me are hard to live without. I see these two new ones playing and wishing my two that passed were here to enjoy the day.

  42. Hi
    My name is Erica and today I write to you about my sweet furbaby Murphy. Murphy is a schipperke that I adopted almost 8 years ago. We think this year he will be about 10 years old. Murphy is still with me but I know his days are numbered. Just last week the vet found a mass in his abdomen area that is pressing on his small intestine. He has lost weight and isn’t eating like he use to. My heart is already breaking because I know what is coming. The cost to have the surgery, his age and the chance that the surgery won’t help even help him leaves me feeling terrible as a person. How can I not do everything for my furbaby to prolong his life with me? Murphy has a follow up appointment in a little over a week at which point I will have to tell the vet we are not doing the surgery. I guess we will discuss the next steps to make him comfortable until the day comes where I have to make the dreadful decision. Murphy has been by my side since I adopted him and he has always been considered my dog by everyone. He loves me the most. Since I had my 2 girls I feel I have neglected him some. I feel regret and sadness and Murphy isn’t even gone yet. My husband is trying to be supportive of the way I feel even though he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t have the connection with Murphy like I do. I feel like I shouldn’t be crying and carrying on like this when he isn’t even gone. I have read the other posts of people’s dogs that have passed and we aren’t there yet. I guess I’m writing this to hopefully help me feel a little better even if it’s just a small fraction. I’m hoping the guilt that I have over not doing the surgery doesn’t leave me regretting my decision. I love my Murphy.

    1. Oh how i know how you feel, as my sweet Pepperann at age 15 was slowly not wanting to eat she always had stomach issues, i would cry and cry thinking of the day i no longer would see her sweet little face, i then would feed her through a syringe and water the same way and then she would liven up and we did this back and forth way of life for almost a year. and everytime she would stop eating I would cry myself silly thinking how will i live with out her. Then she started to loose weight and then i really knew that her time was near, I miss her beyond words, even when she was here with me sleeping most of the day I knew she was still here with me and i loved her sweet little face looking at me, it is so very hard knowing their little lives dont live long enough and like you i cried a whole year thinking of the day i would have to let her go. But then that time came and oh so very very hard, I wish i could say she is in a better place and happy at rainbow bridge, but my selfish self wants her back, I feel for you and and truly know what you are feeling

      1. I hate the rainbow bridge stories. You can have your stories. I want my dog! I don’t know if that bridge exist anymore than I know the date and hour of my own death. It’s all great and all but until then I never get to see my dog ever again. I felt the same way when my mother died. The “She’s in a better place” crap gets on my nerves. I don;t know that? You don’t know that! Say your sorry for my loss. Be supportive but save the fairy tales. I had an appointment to put down my pug tonight. I backed out! I will keep her going until she stops eating or drinking or is in pain. Yes, she’s paralyzed from the neck down but she still does all those things.

  43. I posted a post on here the other day about Cookie our Yorkie who died suddenly at home.Last night I finally put pen to paper and wrote a letter to Cookie and basically cried writing it but telling him about the wonderful way he completed my life,the letter is now in his box of favourite toys and belongings.As I neared writing the end of my letter and describing how his health was deteriorating I realised that some of my tears were for myself and I felt a little bit selfish that my darling dog who followed me everywhere,according to the vet the next day the bloods had come through and cancer could have been his next hurdle,I realised that I should accept that my little buddy had had enough and his body couldn’t take anymore,nature had decided what was best and I had to respect that.It is hard,Cookie slept on our bed everynight,and I always look to his place before I go to sleep,I miss him so much,the whole house is empty and quiet even though 5 of us live here,his presence is missed beyond words.I am glad I wrote the letter as I remembered the fun times,I prayed for him too still do and by doing so am begining to accept that it was his time and my love for him has to respect that.I have read some of posts on here and they helped me a lot.I felt less alone in my grief.

    1. Hi Susan – so very sorry for your loss. I too lost my precious fur baby. She was 16 1/2 years old. I am struggling. I cry day and night. Feel an overwhelming sadness. She followed me everywhere. I miss her so much. Every inch of my house reminds me of her. My house feels the same as yours … empty and quiet and miss her beyond words as well. I wrote her a letter too, need to finish it. I was so lucky to have her all these years, but used to her by my side all these years. Her absence hurts. I had such a connection with her. The pain I feel hurts so badly. Feel like a piece of me died with her. Constant sadness and emptiness I feel. I lost my best friend. The loss of her is one of the worst pains I have ever felt. I think it is acceptance that is holding me back from moving forward. Felt like she would be with me forever. Not sure what I thought … all dogs do go to heaven. I have been all over the internet trying to find ways to cope. Talking to others that have lost their fur babies and know what and how I feel helps.

      1. my baby of 16 years passed new years day, oh i know what you feel and what you said about you thought she would be there forever, i thought too, yet i knew her time was limited but i just never thought the day would come, what was i thinking? I would give anything just to have her back, i know that sounds terrible but i miss her so very much. I knew acceptance was holding me back also, i just didnt want to accept it

      2. Hi Corrine – so very sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I too miss my fur baby so badly. During this grieving process I realize I will cry and miss her forever. Each day I hope I will feel better. Holding her and hugging her is becoming, and will become a distant memory, and all I have to hold on to are my memories. It’s hard when all you want is to hold them once more. I still can’t believe she is gone. I realize all dogs go to heaven. It takes time. Over 16 years of routines, taking care of her day in and out will take time as my life is forever changed. It will never be the same without her. I need to focus on good memories, all dogs go to heaven, they don’t live as long as we do. She was a family member, like a child to me, my baby forever in my heart. It is a struggle. I hope to get there. I never anticipated how painful this would be. She showed me the meaning of unconditional love. I have been reading losing a family pet is just as hard as losing a loved one. I can say this is true. I hope to find my way by maybe helping out at a shelter, or starting a group for people who have lost a pet. Stop kill shelters. Focus on good. Every animal deserves a loving home like we provided.

      3. Hello Diane,Susan here,it is just over a month since we lost our darling companion Cookie.All of us are dealing with his loss in different ways.For me I missed seeing his little face and so this Sunday just gone I plucked up courage and searched through the photographs on my phone to find a photo of him,using the photo machine in our chemist I selected one and when I saw it I wept.I promptly paid for it along with a lovely frame and Cookie is there for us all to see.It has helped me so much and I hope my family too,he had a special friendship with all of us.My daughters and I scrolled through the photos and videos they had on their mobiles and remembered the fun times and now when I come in from work to a silent house I can look at my photo and say “hello”to my darling boy,and it makes me feel he is less far away.I do sincerely hope that you will find some peace,I think sometimes we blame ourselves for not doing this or that I did and on a bad day revert to this ,my daughter says “Mum don’t blame yourself”and for her 26yrs she is right.Just take a day at a time and eventually acceptance does come ,I think though its different for all of us but I truly believe our pets felt and knew our love and wouldn’t want us to think otherwise.Take care and sending a hug .

  44. Hello, wrote on her previously about losing my dear dog on Dec 23 2016, she had a seizure and we tried for three days to save her, then New Years Day lost my 16 yr old, we knew her days were short but oh the pain is like no other, I went a few days to grief share for any kinds of grief and that helped somewhat, we did adopt a dashund from a rescue group and she has brought smiles to our faces, but I think of my dogs I lost and oh how I would give anything to have them back, anything, I miss them beyond words

    1. lost our baby pod on christmas day it has and still is very hard , but tears are healing ointment for our hearts; have you thought about another pup, we did end up rescuing from a foster group that rescues dogs , they tend to know all about the dogs behavior, we did rescue and , she has helped us heal

      1. We have started to look at re homing a dog and have visited some kennels,I know we will never forget Cookie,but at least by looking our family is moving towards acceptance and it would be nice to help a dog with no home.This has helped me so much and I feel less alone in how I have been trying to cope.Good Luck Corrine ,thanks for your kind words.

  45. We lost our Yorkie Cookie on January 12th 2017.He was 14yrs old and had an amazing relationship with all family members.He had started again with Pancreatitis (he had it when he was 12yrs old and came through)the blood test results came through from the vet after the day he died.He had been at the vets all day on the 12th and on picking him up at 5pm it was great to have my boy back in my arms.We sat on the back seat of the car and was looking through the front seats,I am sure he knew he was going home.He wouldnt drink at all not even when I put water on his lips and my husband carried him into the kitchen thinking he may drink in a famiar enviroment .He collapsed and my husband scooped him up whereby he had a heart attack in my husbands arms and died.The life and soul of our home went out and we are all devastated even though we know nothing lives forever but being strong for my family is hard.We had a funeral for him at home and I have collected his basket and toys and put them in a beautiful box I bought specially for Cookies things.I am tbinking of putting photos in my lounge of fun times we had there were so many but I feel like I am in a fog what more can I do

  46. I lost my follow collie cross Shadow on 9 December 2016 due to kidney disease. He lived to just about 16 and was healthy up to four months before the end. I ended it before he really suffered and his death was peaceful and although I get relief from that, my life feels very empty and I don’t have much hope. Reading sites like this as I know I’m not alone. Thanks

  47. It’s sad to say I probably mourn and loved my dog than some of my siblings! I cared all my life for all my relatives til they died! I raised my daughter on my own her dad didn’t want her than! He shows up when she’s getting married! My dog showed me more trust love and was more loyal than any person. He never ever broke my heart til he died!! My family never has good things to say and didn’t care about our relatives nor came around til they were looking for their will. And people wonder why I love my dog so much

  48. Thank you for being here – and I am so sorry for your loss. No matter how long ago our dogs die, we still feel the pain. Many people feel like they can’t live without their dogs. Know you’re not alone, and that grief is a natural feeling after a dog dies.

    Paul, have you talked to a grief counselor about your pain? It seems to me that after three years, the grief should have dulled somewhat. If your pain is still as raw today, it may be wise for you to talk to someone.

    It’s important to work through the grieving process. I wrote an ebook to help people cope – the link is in the article. Have you read any books on surviving pet loss?

    I encourage you to seek help, because it seems like you’re stuck in the beginning stages of the grieving process….and I know your dogs wouldn’t want you to continue living in pain! My prayer is that you find a way to focus on healing and moving forward, so you can live in peace and even joy.

  49. Three years ago I lost two dogs, siblings, two months apart when they were 12 1/2. One was diagnosed with T cell lymphoma in April 2009 and after chemo went into remission in September 2009. His sister was diagnosed with melanoma on Valentine’s Day of 2011 and had two surgeries, radiation and chemo. Her brother’s cancer came back and we resumed chemo but eventually he could no longer tolerate the medicine. We had to make that horrible phone call to the vet one evening after work- it was time. His sister’s cancer never went into remission so she remained in chemo until her body coup no longer tolerate it. One Saturday morning in October 2012 I knew something was going to happen to her that day. We headed out for a car ride, her favorite, and after a couple of brief silly errands I came out to the car and could see she was on her way out of this life and I drove home in tears. Three years later I’m no better – my eating was affected when they stopped eating and I’ve lost 25 pounds. The pain is as raw today as it was the day they each died. My remaining dog is now 14 and is battling inoperable liver cancer. Surgery and chemo. But she’s still here. Sometimes it’s a struggle to get her to eat which makes me lose my appetite. Not sure what will happen to me once she’s gone. I’ll never be the same after losing these dogs. Yes I try to focus on their full lives, habits, likes, etc but the loss consumes me at the end of the day and I wish I wouldn’t wake up but I know my remaining dog needs me.

    1. I just lost my beautiful Ginger girl on Saturday morning December10. Its only been a few days but the pain is unbearable. Ginger was almost 13 years old, I still remember that day she drifted into our lives. Now I remember the day she left. My heart is broken and my soul is crushed. I’m just praying that she knew how very much she was loved and that someday we’ll see each other again.

  50. My dog got killed by pitbull, I seen my little maxy on the floor dead, I can’t get the image out of my head, I keep crying and I can’t sleep at night, I don’t know if I will never get over this.
    This Sunday my mum walked my dog to the park and back. My mum was four door a way from my house, when a pitbull came from behind and grabbed my little maxy by the belly. My mum tried to kick the dog off, but it wasn’t working, the dog was ready to go for her as well. The dog run off with my dog in his mouth, blood going everywhere. My mum was screaming for help, people from the area hear and came out of there houses, one man got some wood and was hitting the dog. It wasn’t working, the women who owners the dog didn’t go near her dog, she was so scared! After a while the dog let go, my mum went to grab maxy, the women told my mum don’t go near him, screaming my dog will kill you. Some other guys got hold of the dog and put him on a lead, when my mum was on the phone to the cab to go to the vet with our dog. Everyone repeating the dog is dead, the dog is dead, nothing you can do! I turned up everyone was grabbing me up saying don’t look, I said you don’t know if maxy is a live! Let go off my fight with them, I seem my dog on the floor bleeding from his belly his inside hanging out. Maxy’s eye open with his tongue hanging out! Still tell him to wake up, crying my eyes out on the floor. I push the people who was holding the dog like “move that dog, get it away from my dog which is dead” The women who owners the dog what killed my dog tried to hug me and push her saying get off me, you did this. My mum was ringing the police at this time, the women started getting a mopping the floor with beach before the police turned up, washing her dogs face to remove all the blood from his face like this never happened! The police took her dog, I went and pick my dog in my arms and all what they was saying was how are we going to get our dog back, didn’t feel guilty one bit. Then trying to ring my doorbell to try a say sorry, it’s not going to bring my dog back!

  51. So sorry to hear about your dog.
    My little dog was killed by another dog last week while my friend had her. I’m so angry at my friend that I can’t speak to her at the moment.
    My dog went with her dog as her dog needed to go to the vet, so I sent my dog there to keep him company, and ended up losing my best little pooch of 14 years, I can’t belive the grief I feel as my Miss Molly was my life she has been through the death of both my parents and now I feel I have nothing to live for.
    All I do is cry and I feel so angry at my friend even tho I know she is hurting to.

  52. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    I’m so sorry that you lost your dog. Surviving pet loss is one of the most heartbreaking experiences – and I know it feels like you can’t live without your dog. At least, it feels like life will never be the same without your beloved dog by your side – and your home isn’t home without your dog.

    May you find peace and healing as you grieve your loss. The heartbreak never fully goes away, but I pray your heart heals and seals in the warm memories and joy your dog brought you. May you know deep in your heart that your dog is resting in peace and waiting for your souls to intermingle!

    There is nothing sweeter than the love of a dog, and nothing sadder than losing that love.

    In sympathy,

  53. We got our dog, Lady, in May, 2001. My oldest son, chose her, or she chose him. We laughed, we played with her, we loved her so deeply. And we know she loved us. She was such a good girl. She was so protective that we felt safe. We adopted another dog, Kayla, when Lady was 6 years old. We had Kayla until August 2010 when she succumbed to cancer. Her death was hard on all of us, including Lady. We had her and she had us. We healed. It took a lot of getting used to but we did get used to our new normal. In 2011, I lost my mom in April, then my mother-in-law in December. I later lost my dad in July, 2013. Lady knew our pain and our hurt and she was right there with us. She would lay down at my feet the moment I felt sad. She began to show signs of aging, it got harder for her to get up. We would hear joints crack when she stood up. We knew the day would come when we’d have to say goodbye, but we didn’t want it to come. Six days ago she got a little dehydrated with the heat. She had plenty of water, but wouldn’t drink it. We basically forced her to drink water, by dripping water from melted ice cubes above her mouth, putting wet rags on her mouth. She got better. It only lasted a couple days. Yesterday, she wouldn’t drink water or eat. So I started the routine of dripping water from melting ice cubes above her mouth. We brought her in to the vet. We got the devastating news that she had late stage kidney disease and she was going to die from it, just a matter of when. We didn’t want her to suffer, we had seen her in pain the last few days and couldn’t stand it. We didn’t want her to die either. Our need and desire for her not to suffer won, we opted to put her to sleep. I stayed with her until a couple minutes after her last heartbeat, and just held her in my arms. I am so heartbroken. I know we’ll meet again.

    1. I know this is very old but my puppy just passed away Sunday the same way your beautiful Lady did. He was 16 and just a couple of days ago he stopped drinking water, would just hover over his water bowl. I would put water in his mouth with a syringe. We took him to the vet Saturday morning and got the news his kidneys were shutting down. He was admitted to the ICU and we waited to see if his levels would get better. They didn’t. And his body also stopped absorbing protein. The vet said it was like his body was leaking his fluid everywhere. He had stopped eating a couple of days before and started having trouble even walking. When we went to see him on Sunday his eyes were covered in yellow discharge and his breathing was labored… We made the decision to put him to sleep. I was there with him the whole time… I can hardly breath …

      1. Ana. Go to its the oldest pet loss forum going. Im going to lose my 13 yr old girl Faith tommorrow. Old age and cancer. Peace my friend.

  54. Lost the love of my life Aug 25th at 5:33 am. I have been grieving terribly and I don’t see an end in sight. My dogs name is Goliath. Im grieving so badly I vomit. I feel I could have done more to save him and I will forever feel guilty for that. I miss him so badly. ive been asking God to show me that he is in heaven with him waiting for me. If I could jus know that for certain. Right now I feel that if our beloved pets aren’t in heaven, I don’t want to be there . Id rather just be so dead that I don’t even know im dead than to go to a heaven where my heart isn’t. He was my world and I never knew such a love as this…..except the love of Jesus of course. All I can see is his beautiful glowing eyes looking up to me with such love and trust. He had so much life in him yet when parvo took him. I am devastated and horribly depressed. Its the darkest place in the world to be. To want to be with and hold your pet and tellem again you love him, and not be able to. I feel ive failed him. Im so ashamed of myself . I should have tried harder to save him. I look up to heaven and ask God to let me know, somehow, some way, that I will see him again. I feel I cant live if I don’t know this and the bible is not specific on this topic. Isaiah 65 tells us the lion will lye next to the lamb and a child shall lead them….. God gave animals breath just like he gave us breath……..I don’t see any reason for animals not to be in heaven…..more reasons say they will be there, but unless God himself lets me know in a special way, I will forever wonder and I cant go on like this. It hurts too much. With God all things are possible and I will continue to seek him and an answer. He said ask and you will receive. Well, im asking. God please comfort me and reassure me my sweetheart is in your loving arms so I can have peace. Please.

    1. Rachel, I know it has been two years since you posted your comment but I wanted to address the issue of whether our pets will be in heaven. Scripture teaches that there will be animals, but doesn’t specifically address pets. I choose to rely on what I know about God. He is a loving God and has promised us nothing but joy when we arrive in heaven. I believe if it would make you happy to have your pets in heaven, God will grant that wish because as a loving Father, he wants His children to be happy. I cling to that knowledge of Him. I have lost my entire family and my beloved fiance in the last few years. Losing my dog was far harder than losing any of my family members. He was with me 24/7 and would have died for me. Something none of my family would have done. The only loss that was harder was losing my fiance. I think also there is a difference when a dog is the ONLY one in your life. I believe people who have dogs, but also have other family memebers and pets love their dogs, but when you lose the only one you have, it is so much harder. People used to mock me for saying that UNTIL…. they experienced living alone with only their dog for love and comfort. Then they knew what I said was true. I also can’t believe that God will have plants, flowers and trees in heaven, but not our beloved animals. It wouldn’t fit His character. He created animals before He created Man which tells me animals are important to Him.
      Whenever I have an issue that is not directly addressed in the Bible, then I reflect on the nature and character of God. I believe you will see your beloved pets again and that they are happy and young in God’s presence and since there is no time in heaven, when you appear it will seem to them as if they have only been gone for a moment from your presence. It will seem much longer to you, but I hope knowing you will see them again one day will bring you comfort. I hope these words will encourage you.

  55. I took my eyes off my little cheese man. And he ran into the street, where someone was walking their dog. He just wanted to say hi. And now he’s gone. the quilt and grief I feel
    I have no words for. My heart is broken. Please be aware of what can happen in a blink
    of an eye. Sad man on long Island.

  56. Im absolutely devastated by the death of my mums dog which at the moment i feel i overdosed him on wormer. I took him to the vets and they said it was kidney failure i promised to look after him and now i feel ive let everyone down i really loved him i went into deniel about his illness and told him to get better and put him on my bed. I found him when i went to bed and he was dead i couldnt stop screaming i think im in shock just want him back

  57. Thank you Laurie. I’m actually thankful that my Mom was not here when Alexi died…it would have been very hard on her. While she was ill and at the hospital, he would sleep in her room. When she came home, he lay under her bed. Animals are so compassionate and can sense when something isn’t right. I was blessed to have him and now have to find ways to go on. Reading your blog helps. Bless you.

  58. Dear Lisa,

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, during this sad and lonely time. When my grandma died, I thought I would die too. I didn’t have my dogs when she died, but now that I know what it’s like to take care of dogs…I think I’d feel like I couldn’t live without them. Dogs are so much more than man’s best friend or faithful companions! They’re part of us, and why they die we lose a part of ourselves.

    My prayer is that you get through this period of grief as quickly as possible. May your heart heal, and may you find support in places that surprise you! I pray you find people, books, online sources of support, or other things that comfort and help you as you process your grief. I also pray you find comfort in God, that you find peace, joy, and serenity in His presence.

    I especially pray that you find ways to fill the void in your life. May you find love different forms, such as other pets, loving partners, a fulfilling job, or meaningful volunteer work. May your life be filled with beauty and joy – starting now, with the loss of your dog and mom.


  59. I recently lost my beloved companion, my dog of 16 years. He got me through the death of my Mom 6 months ago. It was always the 3 of us and now they’re both gone. I’m beyond devastated; he was the joy of my life and now I’m alone. I guess time will heal, but it doesn’t feel like it at the moment.

  60. Dear Sham,

    I’m so sorry about your dog, and for the pain you are in. It’s awful to see your dog suffer.

    Have you read my article about knowing when it’s time to put your dog to sleep? In that article, a veterinarian said that if your dog is suffering, then it’s time to let him go. It’s heartbreaking, but you can’t keep letting your dog suffer.

    Please read the article — the link is at the very beginning of this article about living without your dog.

    If I had a 3 year old daughter, I would tell her that our poor beloved dog is sick, and went to be in doggy heaven. I wouldn’t say anything about euthanasia unless she asks. I’d keep it simple and straightforward: our dog is really sick, and we have to take him to the doctor. He might not come home because he’s so sick – it’s time for him to pass on from this world into the next. If you’re a spiritual family, you can talk about how your faith will help you heal, and about how you’ll see your dog in heaven after you pass on.

    Death isn’t bad. It’s scary because it’s a mystery — but what if it’s a thousand times better than life?? We don’t know what death brings, and I think it’s a mistake to assume it brings “bad” stuff that we should fear.

    I hope this helps, and wish you all the best as you decide what to do about your dog. You WILL survive the loss of your beloved pet, but it will take time to heal.


  61. Hi, I have a 4 year old toy poodle whom I love dearly. He sustained a slipped disc which compressed on his spinal cord. He did not have an accident, he just woke up one day like that. He was a very active boy and this injury has caused him to be paralyses from waist down, and incontinent. It’s been 1 year since and he hasn’t recovered. Recently he started developing sores due to the friction and urine when he moves in his enclosure. And they seem to be getting worse. He gets snappy as well and I can’t teach him how to use a wheelie because of that. No one wants to groom him as he barks n snaps. I am having a hard time deciding what to do. He is suffering in this body he was given, and has no control of it. I can’t bear to see him suffer anymore. But I have a hard time coping with deciding to end his suffering. I have been crying non stop for days, I have stopped playing with my 3 year old daughter as well because of this. Also how do I explain to her what I’m gonna do to him?


  62. Dear Maureen,

    I’m glad we connected on Facebook. I want to post my response to you here, so other people who feel like they can’t live without their dogs know they’re not alone.

    It’s a horrible feeling, like you betrayed your dog by not doing enough to save his life. My heart goes out to you. I want you to remember that you did the best you could — you did not deliberately put your dog’s life jeopardy! It was an accident. If you had known it would turn out this way, you would have done things differently!

    I wish I could make you feel better, but I just want you to know that you didn’t cause your dog’s death. It was meant to happen for some reason, and I know your dog would want you to remember him with love, joy, and peace.

    Losing a dog is one of the most heart wrenching things to happen to us. A friend told me that losing her dog was worse than losing her parents. I think this is because our dogs rely on us for everything, and are so committed to us! Undying love, eternally. I’ve lost dogs and cats, and it helps me to think that they’re happier now than they were on earth. I have to believe there is a Heaven for our lost dogs and cats, and that their souls will be reunited with ours after we die.

    It’s important to let yourself mourn and grieve your loss. You loved your dog with all your heart, and a huge part of your life is now missing. Mourn and cry and wail — that’s what I did. Eventually, you will feel better, and you’ll remember D. with joy.

    I’ll keep you in my prayers.

  63. I lost my beautiful dog tues night, I made the terrible mistake , my husband and I didnt know, he had been crying at night for long time, so we started giving him Ibuprofen, my RX from and ear infection, then he started getting really sick, I dint relate it to that, I think I killed my own boy, I am in so much pain, dont think I can go on, cant eat, get out of bed, nothing….what do I do…I don’t know how to live without my dog..

  64. Dear Sham,

    I’m so sorry about your dog, and for the pain you are in. It’s awful to see your dog suffer.

    Have you read my article about knowing when it’s time to put your dog to sleep? In that article, a veterinarian said that if your dog is suffering, then it’s time to let him go. It’s heartbreaking, but you can’t keep letting your dog suffer.

    Please read the article — the link is at the very beginning of this article about living without your dog.

    If I had a 3 year old daughter, I would tell her that our poor beloved dog is sick, and went to be in doggy heaven. I wouldn’t say anything about euthanasia unless she asks. I’d keep it simple and straightforward: our dog is really sick, and we have to take him to the doctor. He might not come home because he’s so sick – it’s time for him to pass on from this world into the next. If you’re a spiritual family, you can talk about how your faith will help you heal, and about how you’ll see your dog in heaven after you pass on.

    Death isn’t bad. It’s scary because it’s a mystery — but what if it’s a thousand times better than life?? We don’t know what death brings, and I think it’s a mistake to assume it brings “bad” stuff that we should fear.

    I hope this helps, and wish you all the best as you decide what to do about your dog. You WILL survive the loss of your beloved pet, but it will take time to heal.


  65. Hi, I have a 4 year old toy poodle whom I love dearly. He sustained a slipped disc which compressed on his spinal cord. He did not have an accident, he just woke up one day like that. He was a very active boy and this injury has caused him to be paralyses from waist down, and incontinent. It’s been 1 year since and he hasn’t recovered. Recently he started developing sores due to the friction and urine when he moves in his enclosure. And they seem to be getting worse. He gets snappy as well and I can’t teach him how to use a wheelie because of that. No one wants to groom him as he barks n snaps. I am having a hard time deciding what to do. He is suffering in this body he was given, and has no control of it. I can’t bear to see him suffer anymore. But I have a hard time coping with deciding to end his suffering. I have been crying non stop for days, I have stopped playing with my 3 year old daughter as well because of this. Also how do I explain to her what I’m gonna do to him?


  66. Dear Maureen,

    I’m glad we connected on Facebook. I want to post my response to you here, so other people who feel like they can’t live without their dogs know they’re not alone.

    It’s a horrible feeling, like you betrayed your dog by not doing enough to save his life. My heart goes out to you. I want you to remember that you did the best you could — you did not deliberately put your dog’s life jeopardy! It was an accident. If you had known it would turn out this way, you would have done things differently!

    I wish I could make you feel better, but I just want you to know that you didn’t cause your dog’s death. It was meant to happen for some reason, and I know your dog would want you to remember him with love, joy, and peace.

    Losing a dog is one of the most heart wrenching things to happen to us. A friend told me that losing her dog was worse than losing her parents. I think this is because our dogs rely on us for everything, and are so committed to us! Undying love, eternally. I’ve lost dogs and cats, and it helps me to think that they’re happier now than they were on earth. I have to believe there is a Heaven for our lost dogs and cats, and that their souls will be reunited with ours after we die.

    It’s important to let yourself mourn and grieve your loss. You loved your dog with all your heart, and a huge part of your life is now missing. Mourn and cry and wail — that’s what I did. Eventually, you will feel better, and you’ll remember D. with joy.

    I’ll keep you in my prayers.

    1. I am not sure if anyone is this page. I lost my dog yesterday had to put him down. He was my world. The grief is much more than I expected it to be. The physical ache The pleading with god to change it. I have lost other pets. I have lost my parents and only sister. But this loss is so intense.

      1. Ashley Elizabeth Porter

        Sandy. ??!? My dog was struck by a car and died just a few days before yours passed. I too am here with you on the love of your furry baby. How are doing??? I sure could use someone to help me through my grief. And of course I’m a helper bee when it comes to the sadness people have for any animal. Please please feel free to email me at . God bless you in your healings

  67. I lost my beautiful beiley tues night, I mad the terrible mistake , my husband and I didnt know, he had been crying at night for long time, so we started giving him Ibuprofen, my RX from and ear infection, then he started getting really sick, I dint relate it to that, I think I killed my own boy, I am in so much pain, dont think I can go on, cant eat, get out of bed, nothing….what do I do…
    Maureen 954-589-0606