80 Ways to Show Your Love

These 80 ways to say “I love you” don’t require words – and they’re easy, creative, practical, and affordable. A reader asked how to show his love to his new girlfriend on 4 Ways to Create Love and Peace in an Unhappy Marriage, and I didn’t want to resort to expensive gift ideas.

“Love is everything it’s cracked up to be…It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.” ~ Erica Jong.

A wonderful way to say “I love you” is to take risks for your sweetheart. I don’t mean jumping off tall buildings or outrunning trains…I mean being vulnerable, honest, and generous with your heart, mind, body, and soul. Here’s what I mean…

Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end.

80 Ways to Show Your Love

Most of these ways to show your love don’t require you to spend any money at all – which makes them all the sweeter.

1. Do one loving thing every day for your sweetheart – even little things, like folding her clothes or taking out the trash.

2. Never criticize your lover in public.

3. Listen when your sweetheart talks.

4. Don’t forget what your lover said; follow up a few days later with questions and comments (this shows you were listening, and that you care!).

5. Don’t compare your sweetheart to anyone – especially out loud.

6. Be courteous at all times. Show your love by  saying “please”, “thank you”, and “you’re welcome” often.

7. Write and send one love letter a month – starting with a “why I love you” on Valentine’s Day.

8. Embrace the present moment without fear or guilt.

9. Live by the Silver Rule (treat others as they wish to be treated – not how you wish to be treated).

10. Learn how to comfort a grieving partner.

11. Become your lover’s biggest fan and cheerleader! Show your love by being supportive no matter what.

12. Toast each other over breakfast or dinner – even if you’re not drinking wine.

13. Tell your sweetheart how he or she brings love to your life.

14. Talk about your day during mealtimes – share the best and worst parts.

15. Read books aloud together – especially books about love and relationships.

16. Say you’re sorry first.

17. Avoid pushing buttons you know will trigger arguments. Show your love by being kind.

18. Treat your sweetheart’s family and friends as if they were your family and friends.

19. Make it a habit to bring up your good and bad memories.

20. Fill your sweetheart’s car up with gas.

21. Learn how self-love creates a healthy relationship.

22. Learn how to improve a bad relationship.

23. Encourage your lover to be physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy.

24. Trust your partner enough to cry with her or him.

25. Act silly together.

26. Be lavish in praise – compliment your sweetheart freely, and often.

27. Ask questions about your lover’s opinions, feelings, thoughts. Show your love by being curious.

28. Forget about labels – let your sweetheart change and grow.

29. Encourage adventures and risks!

30. Forgive the little stuff.

31. Forgive the big stuff.

32. Show your joy when they come home.

33. Bake cookies together. Show your love by feeding each other!

34. Try a new exotic recipe together – this is a great way to say “I love you.” Make sushi, or pad thai.

80 ways to show your love

80 Ways to Show Your Love

35. Practice different romance tips to make your sweetheart feel loved.

36. Leave stress at work.

37. Use flannel sheets in the winter.

38. Solve problems together – such as crosswords or Sudoku.

39. Show your love by showing your gratitude. True love is a daily act of appreciation!

40. Be a good sounding board.

41. Take pride in your lover – and show your pride.

42. Compliment your lover in front of others.

43. Spend time doing things with your sweetheart (not just watching movies).

44. Listen all the way to the end

45. Ask for hugs and kisses – and give hugs and kisses freely.

46. Take vacations together.

47. Tell the truth gently and lovingly – and learn ways to stop criticizing your husband.

48. Use pet names.

49. Let go of the past. Show your love by releasing them, and yourself.

50. Practice self-acceptance – because the more you accept yourself, the more you’ll accept and love your sweetheart.

51. Let go of jealousy, anger, and resentment.

52. Accept your lover’s weaknesses and flaws.

53. Hunt for treasure together – this is a great way to say “I love you” on Valentine’s Day!

54. Be interested in your sweetheart’s interests.

55. Ditch work or responsibilities to play with your lover.

56. Be yourself.

57. Learn how to be a good husband or wife. Show your love by making an effort.

58. Share chocolates, ice cream sundaes, milkshakes, decadent desserts.

59. Ignore real or perceived slights.

60. Pray or meditate together – learn about the power of prayer as a couple.

61. Practice forgiveness.

62. Watch classic movies together.

63. Leave notes or send letters.

64. Show your love with a “for no reason at all” gift.

65. Don’t gossip or judge.

66. Give the benefit of the doubt.

67. Learn what your sweetheart needs — and give it to him or her.

68. Give space when your lover is in a bad or sad mood.

69. Learn something new together.

70. Take dancing lessons together – this is a great way to say “I love you” on Valentine’s Day!

71. Keep your promises. Show your love by being dependable.

72. Make your lover laugh.

73. Always put your sweetheart’s feelings first.

74. Learn ways to rekindle the romance.

75. Take a marriage or couples retreat weekend together.

76. Hide a surprise in your lover’s lunch – a gourmet chocolate treat is a great way to say “I love you” on Valentine’s Day!

77. Never stop working on your relationship or marriage.

78. Make home a fun place to be.

79. Learn how to increase emotional intimacy in your relationship.

80. Tell your sweetheart why you love him or her.

How do you show love without words? I welcome your thoughts below…


9 Responses

  1. Laurie says:

    Yes, but saying “I love you” isn’t creative, fun, or surprising. Sometimes you need to go the extra mile to show your love!

  2. ASML says:

    Isn’t saying “I love you” easier than learning 80 ways!!!

  3. Davie says:

    Buying gas costs money.


    Love cannot exist without assets.

  4. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thanks for your comments — I love hearing from you!

    Gini, I really like your idea of telling your partner how he or she has helped you grow and change. That’s a great Valentine’s Day gift for someone you love: to tell them the specific impact they’ve had on your life. Thanks for that idea.

    Susan, thanks for being here — every time I read a comment from you, I remember how valuable your website is! I hope readers are clicking on your name, because they won’t be disappointed.

    Rick, I’m glad your wife gave you a few of these gifts. I hope you give back! 🙂


  5. Rick says:

    I just got a few of those “gifts” from my wife. I know I am loved and it makes me want to be a better husband.

  6. Susan Liddy says:

    Gosh, isn’t it deep intimacy that we want in our romantic relationships? Can’t think of a better way to create that than to be vulnerable and show our true selves.

    I really enjoy that you posted this article in January versus just before valentines day. Your suggestions are excellent relationship builders for any time of the year.

    🙂 Susan

  7. Gini Grey says:

    Wow, those are fantastic, Laurie. As a ‘how-to’ writer I enjoying the challenge of adding a tip or two to your tips, but I think you’ve outdone yourself and covered them all. Well, okay, I can add one or two personal-growth-junkie tips:

    Reflect over the more difficult times of the relationship (like when your partner ignored you regularly for a period of time or criticized you constantly) and use it as an opportunity to notice how this helped you grow, heal old wounds (partners often trigger our childhood wounds which is a great opportunity for bringing them to the surface and letting the go)and develop better …..(self-esteem from within, love for yourself, self-acceptance without needing it from outside etc.). And then completely forgive your partner as a Valentines gift (without telling them – just do it) and feel the gratitude for what life lessons they provided you with – I know I’ve grown the most from the more difficult times in my relationship.

    Reflect over the course of your relationship to see how your partner has made you a better person – perhaps you developed more kindness, compassion, creativity or whatever as a result of being partnered with them. Tell them about it.

    Thanks for the ideas for Valentines this year,


  8. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thanks for your comment, Rowena — I love the idea of a pearl heart-shaped pendant necklace for Valentine’s Day! Sounds beautiful. Your second husband knows how to show his love 🙂

  9. Rowena says:

    I had never received even a Valentine’s Day card until I met my second husband, who presented me with a beautiful pearl heart-shaped pendant necklace the first year we were together. I have never forgotten it and he still gives me a gift and a card with a lovely message every Valentine’s day. This year I am buying him some silk boxer shorts and a matching corset for me (I’m part of his present!). Happy Valentine’s Day to all.

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